Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are you married or you single?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm single?
Speaker 3 (00:04):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Even better? Well you know what I mean? The well
you don't actually, but that's okay.
Speaker 4 (00:10):
It sounds like it's easy out there, right not you?
Speaker 5 (00:17):
No, actually I'm divorced.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Good the yeah, anyway, how you got there doesn't matter,
all right?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
But you and I are? You and I are going
to go on a date. Right where do you?
Speaker 5 (00:30):
I don't know about that. Aren't you married?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
No, honey, we're not really going on on a date.
This is this is make believe. This is make believe.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Okay, Oh oh okay, sorry to burst you.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I just ruined her weekend. No, listen to me, listen
to me. The the you and I are going to
go on a date? Do you have any of those
I don't want to call it, I'm Do you have
any of those rules about I will never eat blank
on a first day?
Speaker 5 (01:02):
No, I love all food.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
That's my kind of girl, right there, my kind of
girl right there. I was reading this thing yesterday completely
triggered me, like of the no, no, of like, oh,
here's the like they made this whole list of like
things that you should and like Dane said, as if
dating isn't hard enough for everybody out there that's doing
it now, they give you there was this whole list
(01:24):
of like things that you should never eat on a
first date.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Well, you famously gave it. Not the best way to
impress some on our first date a couple of years ago.
You gave us a hack that people still use to
this day.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Ask for more butter.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Yes, absolutely absolutely, but you always ask for more butter.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
This is a list of things you should never even
ask for at all?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Oh no, oh never never that it's it either it
either looks bad or sets the date up to be bad.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yeah. I mean there's there's the old standbys that you
have always heard for years and years. What spaghetti because
it's messy?
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Oh stop?
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Or and and don't get a salad because somebody might.
You would hate somebody ordering a salad, even a salad.
And I love a salad as their meal.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
No no, no, no, no no no no, don't you eat.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Salad is an appetizer.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Okay, but I'm saying why wouldn't you order it?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
How you would look do you mean as a meal
ordering a salad?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Oh? Because salad makes this list, but not for that
reason where it's like you're only eating a salad, Like,
would you care if you went out with somebody and
they ordered a salad.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Or not as a meal, but just at all.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
No, No, I didn't know that was a stand. Yes,
you're not supposed to.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yes, this thing says never get a salad because it'll
get stuck in your teeth.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
No, that's okay.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
So you should knock out broccoli then too.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
That's also on the list.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Spinich not speaking about things that would get stuck in
your teeth.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
That's not on the list. Spinach as broccoli.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Is about corn?
Speaker 4 (02:56):
The corn on the cop because you imagine eating that
on a first date?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, why not?
Speaker 4 (03:00):
What a sloppy mess you're gonna look like? Show me
where you can eat corn on the cob neatly?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Anyway, because if I saw.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
It off, you're gonna kick me out.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Of the chair.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yes, eat it like a human being.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Get out of here, Princess the show.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
If we went out, you wouldn't eat corn on the cob.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
On a first date? No, why because you're gonna have the.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
What's all over your face?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It's disgusting a barbecue platter?
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Now, but if it's.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
What what if it's what? If it's Mexican street corn
if it's.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Still on the cob. Yeah, mess and mayo. I got mayo,
I got shred and cheese, different kinds of spices. No,
that's a mess.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Corn on the cob is the one thing we eat
that we do allow because they request it. We allow
our kids to get up and floss their teeth mid meal.
Oh my god, it's probably you're.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Surprising, make it.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I'm gonna I'm gonna go on record with two things.
I'm gonna go on record with two things. Number one,
my kids have never floss their teeth meal.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Number two, my kids have never floss their teeth.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
It's definitely up there with our gum timer the Wait
a minute, So we don't make them, but they they
because they get You can tell they're uncomfortable, so we
let them. But they don't have to be excused from
the table. They're allowed to go do it them mid meal.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
How about this right here?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Fingernail or y'all have a knife? Oh my god, No, no, no,
no corn. That wouldn't bother me. I would actually applaud
this to.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
It's too This is stuff that you shouldn't eat on
a first date. It's too messy with corn on the list, No,
or is that just obvious too messing?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Broccoli made it and salad made it. And for what
Diane said, getting stuck in your teeth?
Speaker 4 (04:51):
I can think of another one. What because of its
messy nature? What tyler won't eat wings in this room?
You think he's going to do it on a first date?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Wings or a rack of ribs that made the ribs?
Why wouldn't you eat wings on a date? Wings on
a da fun?
Speaker 4 (05:07):
It's too first date. You're on your best behavior, You're
trying to make an impression. It's too messy. Nothing messy
they said you shouldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yes, the messy factor in the concentration factor.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
You have to concentrate on the wing.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
How am I supposed to pay attention to you when
I am like figuring out how I'm supposed to get
that last little piece.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Of meat from the flatties? Oh yeah, off of there.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
You had to take the last drumstick.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
See we'd be perfect.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
I'll let you have dr I'll have the flats, you
have the drummis because.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Then that's awesome. You're gonna have to ask for like
ten more napkins.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
No, but isn't it fun trying to figure out like
what like do you want?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Do you want hot?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Mediums?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
You want? Well, don't eat garlic. Oh my god, don't
eat garlic. If you think you're getting a kiss, don't
eat garlic. That's ridiculous too.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
When Lindsay and I first started dating, she in her
roommates when they look and Georgetown would go to Rhino
and get wings on a Sunday for football awesome, and
I would meet them and I didn't have wings, no kidding,
but I did, I guess, take a risk. I had
solid So that's a no. No. We both ordered no notes. Yeah,
(06:22):
but that's half the fun. Like Eve, the big thing
of wings his first date. You can't do that, but
that is a fun first date. It seems like Diane
has in her head.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Yeah, miss well, now she's got everything.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Okay, because I'm always going this.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Spaghetti and meatballs made it and that shouldn't be on
the list.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
That was another one of hers. Yes, that's what she said,
and I meant that.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
That's like from the beginning of time, that's always been
on the list of don't order it because it's messy.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I understand, you can get pizza.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Yeah, I would think though.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
But I can't get spaghettighetti.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
But like, are you saying, Diane, you back in the day,
wouldn't order these.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Or if you if I wouldn't eat ordered them, there
wasn't going to be a second day.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Oh that's a good that's a good question.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
I mean I was more concerned about me, right, So
I would you not eat garlic?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
No, because in case you were going to get a little,
a little tonsil hockey.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
Yeah, and then then it comes out of your pores
to oh Jesus Christ will cover your mouth like rich.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
First of all, I like that we're taking Diane's shirt off.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
No, I'm just saying you can smell it. No you can't, Yes,
you can. You can tell when somebody's eating garlic.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Two hours after I have some garlets. You're not smelling
that time you?
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Oh who had Italian?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Man? That's a lot. That's a lot going on there now.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Salad I would agree with only because I don't like
when you get that as a meal, like who you're
trying to impress? And I know why it's on the list. No,
it's on the list because it gets in your teeth. Yeah,
anything garlicky. They say you you shouldn't do makes sense, No,
it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Who cares.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
If Scott ate something when you would like not now
because now it's just too easy. But like back after
the first date, like when you were like when you
were in love, if Scott ate something garlokie, you weren't
going to make out with him?
Speaker 4 (08:17):
No, I just I'm just saying, like from from but
I wouldn't want to smell it on him two hours later?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Who cares he went out?
Speaker 4 (08:28):
He had not? He had? He had really on?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
No, Jonathan gets it because he says, Diane, not only
is Elliott eating corn, he's also telling his date he'll
see it later. So all of these are going to
be upsetting to Elliott. Yes, because he's either donham or
sees no problem with it.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I don't see honestly, barbecue, I have seen no problem.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
He loves the food more than you.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Honey.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
You know what on a first date? You're absolutely right.
I've loved wings for years. This is day one with you.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Smear that stuff all over your cheeks?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yes, and then what's wrong? What's wrong with this? Right?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
So Diane and I are on our first date, and
she's beautiful, she's beautiful. I can't believe I'm sitting here
with her pores the wide open ends, thinking the uh good,
the no no, and Diane gets a little bit of
wing wing sauce right here?
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Why are you mort I can't even finish my story?
What's wrong? What's wrong with this?
Speaker 5 (09:26):
Right?
Speaker 3 (09:26):
So you're Diane, right, and you've got some schmootz on
the side of your face.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
What's wrong with me?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Either a reaching over daintily with a pinky and just
kind of wiping it off.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Oh you know what upsets me?
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Or or just going when you get stuff on your face?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Oh, hey, Diane, No, when he touches me, you got
a little You got a little bit right here?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
What's wrong with that? You should reach over?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
And now you tell me?
Speaker 4 (09:48):
You tell me, and then I'm That's all I think
about for the next hour. I might as well hang
this just going No, I wouldn't lick my finger, let
me dip my napkin in your water?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Hey, Diane, you got a little, just a little right here.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Damn it.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
It was going well too, and it's still going well.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
You think that's gonna make me walk away?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
A lot of people it would if she's like this
on a first date. God knows what I'm seeing a
month in.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I want comfort.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I want to comfort you know what Elliot's seeing. He
just told you later corn, Hi Elliot in the morning.
Speaker 6 (10:31):
Hey this neat?
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (10:34):
Hey, Hey, So you guys have me absolutely cracking up
this morning. I am single and I am dating, and
I have to say, I think I just increased my
chances of a third date just by listening to this
because I have never I have never had thought about
not eating corn. And I mean I think wings probably
I might shy away from but why yeah not. I
(10:56):
guess I understand the situation, but I might not actually,
as long as I am trying to maintain an assemblance
of control over how fast I'm eating.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Yeah, you could like being a lady.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Now, I will say this, I do want to throw
the cautionary corn tail out to everybody whether well, let
me ask Diane. So Dane's not going to eat it
on the cob, but would you eat like a side
of corn that's corn salad? That's fine right now if
it if it turns into a long night and you
know what's happening with that corn, it's coming soon. You're
(11:30):
going to see it soon, don't if you if you
end up back at my place. Do not rush out
of that bathroom. You go in there, you make it,
you make a big corn duty. You do whatever you
got to do in.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
There, if it, if it meant my life, I would
not go back to your place and go and take
a dump on our first date.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Never say dump, he said, a corn duty.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
No, But what you don't want is to rush on out.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Of there so it doesn't give off the appearance that
you've been in here longer than you should have been.
Because sometimes and once it goes down and that water
starts to fill up, you've got a stowaway kernel.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
And if I go in there, I know it. Not
only did you see it soon? So did I?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Rightes?
Speaker 4 (12:29):
She knows?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
All right, very good, thank you?
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Absolute Let me well, what what?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
What?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
What?
Speaker 5 (12:36):
What?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Let me ask you this, Will you eat cheese on
a date? Will you eat cheese on a first date?
Speaker 6 (12:41):
I have I don't have a big problem with cheese,
So yes, I have no.
Speaker 7 (12:45):
Problem eating cheese.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
How about Diane?
Speaker 6 (12:46):
And I think my g I might be I think
GI is slower than your g I because I think
corn I could still manage and get out of there
without too much of a fuss.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
My corn is still trying to grip the cob, and
I'm going Jesus back.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Like a like a charcouterie. Nobody do not eat cheese
on a first date. Wow, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Should they say why?
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Of course they do. Of course they do, Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
What's the reason.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Well, if you're lactose intolerant.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
No no, no, no, no, no no no, not even just.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Lactose, and it's gonna make you gas.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Cheesel gas you up. Cheese will gas you up again.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I'm almost I'm also an adult, and I wouldn't fart
in front of my first date.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I'm not asking you to. Sometimes you can't help it.
I've done that.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
You can't help it. Again, we're adults.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, you can't help it. No, I may think I'm
just gonna like it out.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
I'm getting an important phone call.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
No, you don't want to, you don't want to eat.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
You would fart at the table on a first date?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
No, no, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
You should never, on any date or outing pass gas
exactly absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Now.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
The only time that it's acceptable is if you're at
the table by yourself because your date went for that
mid meal floss.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
So that means you can't go to like a wine
and cheese thing.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Now they say that you shouldn't eat cheese on a
first date. I've never heard that before. Now, I've never
heard that before. I have heard the pasta thing before. Hi,
Ellie in the morning.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
See Penney, you could get away from spaghetti?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Is the one?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Hi, Hi?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
This is this me?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yes, yes, it is, so I have.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
It's not my story.
Speaker 7 (14:37):
It's my roommate from college. She went on at first
it might have been their second date, and she had shelfish,
not knowing that her date, who now her husband, was
allergic to shelfish. And they kissed and his lips started
tingling and he had to run to his car to
get his epipis.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Now just kind of curiosity. Do you know what they do?
You know what they had?
Speaker 7 (15:02):
I think it was shrimp that he was allergic to,
and she had like a shrimp cocktail or something.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
That's that's a problem. However, however, there are thank you, ma'am.
There are two shellfish that made the list of two
things that you should never have on a first date.
Shrimp No, shrimp's fine. Shrimp's fine.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Don't worry Diane's not ordering it.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Crab messy and lobster quote. No one gets laid after
wearing a bib Lobster.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
When I when I first saw lobster, I was like, oh,
because that means like you're you're ordering expensive. No, it's
just that it's you put a bib on.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
It's part of the show. Nothing's gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Crabs could be a bit of a problem on a
first date, like my my fingers.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Are bleeding, has going everywhere, But.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
I love crabs. Crabs are great.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Along the lines of the bib, Jackie did post that
anything that needs or necessitates extra napkins, oh like wet
wipes too, So she said for her, no, tacos always
end up needing more napkins.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Oh, because you can get stuff that run. I get
the Oh you like that.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
No, no, no, I'm saying like I love a taco,
but that's another one that's kind of messy.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
The tacos are not messy. Yeah they are? What yeah
they are?
Speaker 4 (16:32):
How much of that is falling out on your.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Plaist then you scoop it up with a chip. It's like,
can I go back to pasta for a second. Buttered
noodles just are okay, No, they're not.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Okay, yeah, messy and you're gonna get good.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
You a lot of things that you can eat have
a sauce on it, but they said specifically buttered noodles,
because you may as well hang a sign on your
neck that says I'm a child four exactly, you're not
eating an adult food.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
But again, I don't care.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
That would be odd to order around any other adults.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
What buttered noodles? Yes? Why so?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Not just a date but like a business dinner or
older family members.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
You ever get alfredo that's at least as cheese the yeah, okay,
but there's still a lot of butter in there.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Where am I going? Line three?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
More butter? It's your hack?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Hi Elliot the morning.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Hey, I'm surprised you haven't mentioned yet the fresh tea
smolk smell of asparagus. See now that's that's one. I
was surprised that didn't make the list. Now we do
know that asparagus urine only affects fifty percent of the population,
which is still amazing to me because everybody I've met
who's eating asparagus, I only know the fifty percent that
(17:45):
get asparagus piss, but yes, that could be that could
be a problem. And Diane because she didn't want to
eat the lobster or the crab, she just got corn
and corn cheese and asparagan.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Hell of a night, ribs, ribs love it says, I
don't eat ribs in public because the bones.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Oh yeah, that's a problem. Now. A lot of people
will do that, not not just with ribs, but like
a lot.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Of people will do that with wings. My friend Patty
used to do that with wings all the time. Yeah,
where it looks like, yeah, I mean you are you're
just kind of oh in your throat and the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Hi, Jellie in the morning. Yes, Hi, who is this?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
This is yes? What can I Oh? Yes.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
I went on on the first date with the guy
and uh he had hamburger with lots of pickles, and
we were at the drive in. He reached over and
I don't know if gas just got hold of him,
but it was our first kid, and he burnt long
and hard in my mouth. All I was pickles.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
God.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Yeah, And it was like twisted right at the right
moment and its projected.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
He didn't even pull away fast.
Speaker 7 (19:05):
Enough it would come out to that.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
God.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Oh, yeah, god, the right word. That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yes, summer right, well, so drinks it is that. Yes,
you've eliminated so much food. By the way, there's I have.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
I have one more on here that hasn't been mentioned yet,
And to me, it would be a great first date,
like a first date meal, because again, it's fun, it's experimental,
you're enjoying each other's company.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
What is it.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Ramen?
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Yeah, well, they said, guaranteed wet pants, a lot of splash. Yes,
I don't know how to cut these noodles. I'll just
push my finger against the four they said.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
It's messy.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
You drool, you drip, they said, kind of falls into that,
but not as much crap in there as there is
with ramen.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
He was great, but did have a very wet chin.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
But Ramen is so good.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
I know.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Ramen is great. So is everything that you've named.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Yeah, all these foods are great. You just don't eat
them on a first date.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah. No, everything that I've mentioned I would definitely kill.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
I would love if I asked Diane out on the
first I was like, listen, my dearest Diane, where would
you like to go for a first date? And she said, Ramen,
I'd be like, this is an adventurous girl for me.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
If he referred to as dearest in a text or
on the phone prior to that date, would you find
a reason to cancel? Probably?
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Why that's way too familiar. Yeah, you don't. We don't
know each other yet. No, we have a pet name.
We haven't gone out yet.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
That's weird.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Like you, I called, You answered on FaceTime, obviously, and
then you were like hello, and I was like, oh, hello,
my dearest Diane, and it's stuck.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
It stuck going through a tunnel meetings and that you'd say,
oh god, where are we have a renfair?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Oh, turkey leg Hey, turkey done.
Are you married or you single?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm single?
Speaker 3 (00:04):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Even better? Well you know what I mean? The well
you don't actually, but that's okay.
Speaker 4 (00:10):
It sounds like it's easy out there, right not you?
Speaker 5 (00:17):
No, actually I'm divorced.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Good the yeah, anyway, how you got there doesn't matter,
all right?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
But you and I are? You and I are going
to go on a date. Right where do you?
Speaker 5 (00:30):
I don't know about that. Aren't you married?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
No, honey, we're not really going on on a date.
This is this is make believe. This is make believe.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Okay, Oh oh okay, sorry to burst you.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I just ruined her weekend. No, listen to me, listen
to me. The the you and I are going to
go on a date? Do you have any of those
I don't want to call it, I'm Do you have
any of those rules about I will never eat blank
on a first day?
Speaker 5 (01:02):
No, I love all food.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
That's my kind of girl, right there, my kind of
girl right there. I was reading this thing yesterday completely
triggered me, like of the no, no, of like, oh,
here's the like they made this whole list of like
things that you should and like Dane said, as if
dating isn't hard enough for everybody out there that's doing
it now, they give you there was this whole list
(01:24):
of like things that you should never eat on a
first date.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Well, you famously gave it. Not the best way to
impress some on our first date a couple of years ago.
You gave us a hack that people still use to
this day.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Ask for more butter.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Yes, absolutely absolutely, but you always ask for more butter.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
This is a list of things you should never even
ask for at all?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Oh no, oh never never that it's it either it
either looks bad or sets the date up to be bad.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yeah. I mean there's there's the old standbys that you
have always heard for years and years. What spaghetti because
it's messy?
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Oh stop?
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Or and and don't get a salad because somebody might.
You would hate somebody ordering a salad, even a salad.
And I love a salad as their meal.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
No no, no, no, no no no no, don't you eat.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Salad is an appetizer.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Okay, but I'm saying why wouldn't you order it?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
How you would look do you mean as a meal
ordering a salad?
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Oh? Because salad makes this list, but not for that
reason where it's like you're only eating a salad, Like,
would you care if you went out with somebody and
they ordered a salad.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Or not as a meal, but just at all.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
No, No, I didn't know that was a stand. Yes,
you're not supposed to.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yes, this thing says never get a salad because it'll
get stuck in your teeth.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
No, that's okay.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
So you should knock out broccoli then too.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
That's also on the list.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Spinich not speaking about things that would get stuck in
your teeth.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
That's not on the list. Spinach as broccoli.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Is about corn?
Speaker 4 (02:56):
The corn on the cop because you imagine eating that
on a first date?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, why not?
Speaker 4 (03:00):
What a sloppy mess you're gonna look like? Show me
where you can eat corn on the cob neatly?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Anyway, because if I saw.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
It off, you're gonna kick me out.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Of the chair.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yes, eat it like a human being.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Get out of here, Princess the show.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
If we went out, you wouldn't eat corn on the cob.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
On a first date? No, why because you're gonna have the.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
What's all over your face?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It's disgusting a barbecue platter?
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Now, but if it's.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
What what if it's what? If it's Mexican street corn
if it's.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Still on the cob. Yeah, mess and mayo. I got mayo,
I got shred and cheese, different kinds of spices. No,
that's a mess.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Corn on the cob is the one thing we eat
that we do allow because they request it. We allow
our kids to get up and floss their teeth mid meal.
Oh my god, it's probably you're.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Surprising, make it.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I'm gonna I'm gonna go on record with two things.
I'm gonna go on record with two things. Number one,
my kids have never floss their teeth meal.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Number two, my kids have never floss their teeth.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
It's definitely up there with our gum timer the Wait
a minute, So we don't make them, but they they
because they get You can tell they're uncomfortable, so we
let them. But they don't have to be excused from
the table. They're allowed to go do it them mid meal.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
How about this right here?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Fingernail or y'all have a knife? Oh my god, No, no, no,
no corn. That wouldn't bother me. I would actually applaud
this to.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
It's too This is stuff that you shouldn't eat on
a first date. It's too messy with corn on the list, No,
or is that just obvious too messing?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Broccoli made it and salad made it. And for what
Diane said, getting stuck in your teeth?
Speaker 4 (04:51):
I can think of another one. What because of its
messy nature? What tyler won't eat wings in this room?
You think he's going to do it on a first date?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Wings or a rack of ribs that made the ribs?
Why wouldn't you eat wings on a date? Wings on
a da fun?
Speaker 4 (05:07):
It's too first date. You're on your best behavior, You're
trying to make an impression. It's too messy. Nothing messy
they said you shouldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yes, the messy factor in the concentration factor.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
You have to concentrate on the wing.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
How am I supposed to pay attention to you when
I am like figuring out how I'm supposed to get
that last little piece.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Of meat from the flatties? Oh yeah, off of there.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
You had to take the last drumstick.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
See we'd be perfect.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
I'll let you have dr I'll have the flats, you
have the drummis because.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Then that's awesome. You're gonna have to ask for like
ten more napkins.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
No, but isn't it fun trying to figure out like
what like do you want?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Do you want hot?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Mediums?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
You want? Well, don't eat garlic. Oh my god, don't
eat garlic. If you think you're getting a kiss, don't
eat garlic. That's ridiculous too.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
When Lindsay and I first started dating, she in her
roommates when they look and Georgetown would go to Rhino
and get wings on a Sunday for football awesome, and
I would meet them and I didn't have wings, no kidding,
but I did, I guess, take a risk. I had
solid So that's a no. No. We both ordered no notes. Yeah,
(06:22):
but that's half the fun. Like Eve, the big thing
of wings his first date. You can't do that, but
that is a fun first date. It seems like Diane
has in her head.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Yeah, miss well, now she's got everything.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Okay, because I'm always going this.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Spaghetti and meatballs made it and that shouldn't be on
the list.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
That was another one of hers. Yes, that's what she said,
and I meant that.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
That's like from the beginning of time, that's always been
on the list of don't order it because it's messy.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I understand, you can get pizza.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Yeah, I would think though.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
But I can't get spaghettighetti.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
But like, are you saying, Diane, you back in the day,
wouldn't order these.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Or if you if I wouldn't eat ordered them, there
wasn't going to be a second day.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Oh that's a good that's a good question.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
I mean I was more concerned about me, right, So
I would you not eat garlic?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
No, because in case you were going to get a little,
a little tonsil hockey.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
Yeah, and then then it comes out of your pores
to oh Jesus Christ will cover your mouth like rich.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
First of all, I like that we're taking Diane's shirt off.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
No, I'm just saying you can smell it. No you can't, Yes,
you can. You can tell when somebody's eating garlic.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Two hours after I have some garlets. You're not smelling
that time you?
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Oh who had Italian?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Man? That's a lot. That's a lot going on there now.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Salad I would agree with only because I don't like
when you get that as a meal, like who you're
trying to impress? And I know why it's on the list. No,
it's on the list because it gets in your teeth. Yeah,
anything garlicky. They say you you shouldn't do makes sense, No,
it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Who cares.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
If Scott ate something when you would like not now
because now it's just too easy. But like back after
the first date, like when you were like when you
were in love, if Scott ate something garlokie, you weren't
going to make out with him?
Speaker 4 (08:17):
No, I just I'm just saying, like from from but
I wouldn't want to smell it on him two hours later?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Who cares he went out?
Speaker 4 (08:28):
He had not? He had? He had really on?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
No, Jonathan gets it because he says, Diane, not only
is Elliott eating corn, he's also telling his date he'll
see it later. So all of these are going to
be upsetting to Elliott. Yes, because he's either donham or
sees no problem with it.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I don't see honestly, barbecue, I have seen no problem.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
He loves the food more than you.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Honey.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
You know what on a first date? You're absolutely right.
I've loved wings for years. This is day one with you.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Smear that stuff all over your cheeks?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yes, and then what's wrong? What's wrong with this? Right?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
So Diane and I are on our first date, and
she's beautiful, she's beautiful. I can't believe I'm sitting here
with her pores the wide open ends, thinking the uh good,
the no no, and Diane gets a little bit of
wing wing sauce right here?
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Why are you mort I can't even finish my story?
What's wrong? What's wrong with this?
Speaker 5 (09:26):
Right?
Speaker 3 (09:26):
So you're Diane, right, and you've got some schmootz on
the side of your face.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
What's wrong with me?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Either a reaching over daintily with a pinky and just
kind of wiping it off.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Oh you know what upsets me?
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Or or just going when you get stuff on your face?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Oh, hey, Diane, No, when he touches me, you got
a little You got a little bit right here?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
What's wrong with that? You should reach over?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
And now you tell me?
Speaker 4 (09:48):
You tell me, and then I'm That's all I think
about for the next hour. I might as well hang
this just going No, I wouldn't lick my finger, let
me dip my napkin in your water?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Hey, Diane, you got a little, just a little right here.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Damn it.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
It was going well too, and it's still going well.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
You think that's gonna make me walk away?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
A lot of people it would if she's like this
on a first date. God knows what I'm seeing a
month in.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I want comfort.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I want to comfort you know what Elliot's seeing. He
just told you later corn, Hi Elliot in the morning.
Speaker 6 (10:31):
Hey this neat?
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (10:34):
Hey, Hey, So you guys have me absolutely cracking up
this morning. I am single and I am dating, and
I have to say, I think I just increased my
chances of a third date just by listening to this
because I have never I have never had thought about
not eating corn. And I mean I think wings probably
I might shy away from but why yeah not. I
(10:56):
guess I understand the situation, but I might not actually,
as long as I am trying to maintain an assemblance
of control over how fast I'm eating.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Yeah, you could like being a lady.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Now, I will say this, I do want to throw
the cautionary corn tail out to everybody whether well, let
me ask Diane. So Dane's not going to eat it
on the cob, but would you eat like a side
of corn that's corn salad? That's fine right now if
it if it turns into a long night and you
know what's happening with that corn, it's coming soon. You're
(11:30):
going to see it soon, don't if you if you
end up back at my place. Do not rush out
of that bathroom. You go in there, you make it,
you make a big corn duty. You do whatever you
got to do in.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
There, if it, if it meant my life, I would
not go back to your place and go and take
a dump on our first date.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Never say dump, he said, a corn duty.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
No, But what you don't want is to rush on out.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Of there so it doesn't give off the appearance that
you've been in here longer than you should have been.
Because sometimes and once it goes down and that water
starts to fill up, you've got a stowaway kernel.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
And if I go in there, I know it. Not
only did you see it soon? So did I?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Rightes?
Speaker 4 (12:29):
She knows?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
All right, very good, thank you?
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Absolute Let me well, what what?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
What?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
What?
Speaker 5 (12:36):
What?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Let me ask you this, Will you eat cheese on
a date? Will you eat cheese on a first date?
Speaker 6 (12:41):
I have I don't have a big problem with cheese,
So yes, I have no.
Speaker 7 (12:45):
Problem eating cheese.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
How about Diane?
Speaker 6 (12:46):
And I think my g I might be I think
GI is slower than your g I because I think
corn I could still manage and get out of there
without too much of a fuss.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
My corn is still trying to grip the cob, and
I'm going Jesus back.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Like a like a charcouterie. Nobody do not eat cheese
on a first date. Wow, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Should they say why?
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Of course they do. Of course they do, Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
What's the reason.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Well, if you're lactose intolerant.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
No no, no, no, no, no no no, not even just.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Lactose, and it's gonna make you gas.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Cheesel gas you up. Cheese will gas you up again.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I'm almost I'm also an adult, and I wouldn't fart
in front of my first date.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I'm not asking you to. Sometimes you can't help it.
I've done that.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
You can't help it. Again, we're adults.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, you can't help it. No, I may think I'm
just gonna like it out.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
I'm getting an important phone call.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
No, you don't want to, you don't want to eat.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
You would fart at the table on a first date?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
No, no, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
You should never, on any date or outing pass gas
exactly absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Now.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
The only time that it's acceptable is if you're at
the table by yourself because your date went for that
mid meal floss.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
So that means you can't go to like a wine
and cheese thing.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Now they say that you shouldn't eat cheese on a
first date. I've never heard that before. Now, I've never
heard that before. I have heard the pasta thing before. Hi,
Ellie in the morning.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
See Penney, you could get away from spaghetti?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Is the one?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Hi, Hi?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
This is this me?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yes, yes, it is, so I have.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
It's not my story.
Speaker 7 (14:37):
It's my roommate from college. She went on at first
it might have been their second date, and she had shelfish,
not knowing that her date, who now her husband, was
allergic to shelfish. And they kissed and his lips started
tingling and he had to run to his car to
get his epipis.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Now just kind of curiosity. Do you know what they do?
You know what they had?
Speaker 7 (15:02):
I think it was shrimp that he was allergic to,
and she had like a shrimp cocktail or something.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
That's that's a problem. However, however, there are thank you, ma'am.
There are two shellfish that made the list of two
things that you should never have on a first date.
Shrimp No, shrimp's fine. Shrimp's fine.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Don't worry Diane's not ordering it.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Crab messy and lobster quote. No one gets laid after
wearing a bib Lobster.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
When I when I first saw lobster, I was like, oh,
because that means like you're you're ordering expensive. No, it's
just that it's you put a bib on.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
It's part of the show. Nothing's gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Crabs could be a bit of a problem on a
first date, like my my fingers.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Are bleeding, has going everywhere, But.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
I love crabs. Crabs are great.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Along the lines of the bib, Jackie did post that
anything that needs or necessitates extra napkins, oh like wet
wipes too, So she said for her, no, tacos always
end up needing more napkins.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Oh, because you can get stuff that run. I get
the Oh you like that.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
No, no, no, I'm saying like I love a taco,
but that's another one that's kind of messy.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
The tacos are not messy. Yeah they are? What yeah
they are?
Speaker 4 (16:32):
How much of that is falling out on your.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Plaist then you scoop it up with a chip. It's like,
can I go back to pasta for a second. Buttered
noodles just are okay, No, they're not.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Okay, yeah, messy and you're gonna get good.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
You a lot of things that you can eat have
a sauce on it, but they said specifically buttered noodles,
because you may as well hang a sign on your
neck that says I'm a child four exactly, you're not
eating an adult food.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
But again, I don't care.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
That would be odd to order around any other adults.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
What buttered noodles? Yes? Why so?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Not just a date but like a business dinner or
older family members.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
You ever get alfredo that's at least as cheese the yeah, okay,
but there's still a lot of butter in there.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Where am I going? Line three?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
More butter? It's your hack?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Hi Elliot the morning.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Hey, I'm surprised you haven't mentioned yet the fresh tea
smolk smell of asparagus. See now that's that's one. I
was surprised that didn't make the list. Now we do
know that asparagus urine only affects fifty percent of the population,
which is still amazing to me because everybody I've met
who's eating asparagus, I only know the fifty percent that
(17:45):
get asparagus piss, but yes, that could be that could
be a problem. And Diane because she didn't want to
eat the lobster or the crab, she just got corn
and corn cheese and asparagan.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Hell of a night, ribs, ribs love it says, I
don't eat ribs in public because the bones.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Oh yeah, that's a problem. Now. A lot of people
will do that, not not just with ribs, but like
a lot.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Of people will do that with wings. My friend Patty
used to do that with wings all the time. Yeah,
where it looks like, yeah, I mean you are you're
just kind of oh in your throat and the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Hi, Jellie in the morning. Yes, Hi, who is this?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
This is yes? What can I Oh? Yes.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
I went on on the first date with the guy
and uh he had hamburger with lots of pickles, and
we were at the drive in. He reached over and
I don't know if gas just got hold of him,
but it was our first kid, and he burnt long
and hard in my mouth. All I was pickles.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
God.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Yeah, And it was like twisted right at the right
moment and its projected.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
He didn't even pull away fast.
Speaker 7 (19:05):
Enough it would come out to that.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
God.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Oh, yeah, god, the right word. That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yes, summer right, well, so drinks it is that. Yes,
you've eliminated so much food. By the way, there's I have.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
I have one more on here that hasn't been mentioned yet,
And to me, it would be a great first date,
like a first date meal, because again, it's fun, it's experimental,
you're enjoying each other's company.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
What is it.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Ramen?
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Yeah, well, they said, guaranteed wet pants, a lot of splash. Yes,
I don't know how to cut these noodles. I'll just
push my finger against the four they said.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
It's messy.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
You drool, you drip, they said, kind of falls into that,
but not as much crap in there as there is
with ramen.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
He was great, but did have a very wet chin.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
But Ramen is so good.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
I know.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Ramen is great. So is everything that you've named.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Yeah, all these foods are great. You just don't eat
them on a first date.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah. No, everything that I've mentioned I would definitely kill.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
I would love if I asked Diane out on the
first I was like, listen, my dearest Diane, where would
you like to go for a first date? And she said, Ramen,
I'd be like, this is an adventurous girl for me.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
If he referred to as dearest in a text or
on the phone prior to that date, would you find
a reason to cancel? Probably?
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Why that's way too familiar. Yeah, you don't. We don't
know each other yet. No, we have a pet name.
We haven't gone out yet.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
That's weird.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Like you, I called, You answered on FaceTime, obviously, and
then you were like hello, and I was like, oh, hello,
my dearest Diane, and it's stuck.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
It stuck going through a tunnel meetings and that you'd say,
oh god, where are we have a renfair?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Oh, turkey leg Hey, turkey done.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.