Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The funeral you were at over the summer.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It was. Yeah, it was more of a like a
memorial service. And so the adult children got up and spoke.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
They were they were supposed to.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Yes, the women's grandkids got up and spoke, and then
they opened it up and said, you know, is there
anybody else here who'd like to share a memory?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
So that's common. Yeah, did you get up?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Have you ever?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
No?
Speaker 4 (00:23):
What did it say in the program to describe that?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
Was it off the cough? Was it like impromptu?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah? Yeah, I think it was more impromptu.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
So they just decided it's opening.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
There wasn't a program, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
The could do this in rehearsal.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
The No.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
No, but I was reading about this yesterday and I'd
never heard of this.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I've never heard of that. I never seen some TV.
I was just done for comedy or whatever.
Speaker 6 (00:51):
No.
Speaker 5 (00:51):
No, I just assumed that if somebody is is somebody
speaking at a funeral, they were asked by the family
or they are family to speak.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Not like, oh, you know what, I think I'd like
to get up.
Speaker 5 (01:04):
Like I would, I would I would almost feel like
I'm not supposed to.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
Well, I don't know if you should talk if you're
that uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:14):
But so when I was reading about this, they said
that if you're going to offer an open mic at
a funeral, you got to have somebody who's got a
certain job.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
God like policing it, so to speak. Yeah, really, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Like you need the you know, somebody like if somebody
gets up like they're walking toward you, no no, no, no no.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
No no no no no. Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Because you know, somebody is going to be a little
bit like off.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Well, it could be long winded. It could be long winded.
It could also be not not real.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Poigning one time when we were in grade school.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Right, So, but the job isn't to stop that person
from getting up there, because you don't want to.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 5 (01:59):
So nobody's on the way up and you're gonna put
your hand on him and go, hey, listen, I'd rather
you not. No.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
But if someone is, if someone's like going on too long,
then it's that person's job to be like, oh, well,
you know what, even if they're in the middle of
telling a story that was great, that was like, find
a good end point for them.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
They call it them the open mic police where it's somebody. No,
they said, you have to have somebody who can kind
of like like, I don't know, I don't know how
these things work.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Am I holding the mic and you're talking into it?
And then all of a sudden I just kind of
faded away where like and now you can't hear me.
And that's fine. I move on to the next one.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I think you can't just you can't cut in with
applause in the middle of somebody.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
What if they're telling us, well, that's what Diane was doing.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
They could be in the middle of a speech about
like some heartfelt moment and Diane's like, oh, great, great moment, and.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Then I'm putting down my coffee cup and walking up
to you and be like that, thank you so much
for that. That was a wonderful story.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, but I'm not done yet. R the No.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
They they so, we do have a lot of people
who and.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
You'll get to them, they know.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
But they said, that is such an important job and
it's got to be somebody who can handle.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
It, right for sure.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
You don't want people remembering the ceremony for what went
down at the open mic.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
So how did yours go? Diane, it was.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I mean it was only a few people. It was
a lot of older people who were there too. I'll
cut them off to primarily was it a Mike's stand?
Oh no, it was like handheld handheld?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, but was it did I hold it? Or did
did I hand it to them?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
People handed it among like the children, the adults, and
then like the grandchildren. Okay, so Tyler and then somebody
else and then somebody else from you know would get
up from a table right and would walk up and
go to like the front of the room.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Okay, so speak I have it here, and I'm like,
I done here though, and I'll walk it over to Tyler.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
No, it was like one of the kids. One of
the kids were adults.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Somebody moderate.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
So that's closer to that role.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
That's my role. Uh, I'm running around with that thing
like who was.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
The who was here? It wasn't And it wasn't that.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I should have done it at his funeral.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
It wasn't that many people who you know jumped in
to say anything. A handful right, you know.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
No, But I'm like, do you do you get some
of these again, I've never seen this happen.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Do you get some of these where all of a sudden,
it's like.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Like, well, there's a line of people.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Tim's, all of Tim's fraternity brothers are here, and you
know from back in the day.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I wouldn't doubt it, and they all got to talk,
I wouldn't doubt it.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
The I'm gonna I'll move that along.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So do you line up or do you get up
when you think the person's wrapping it up to be
the next I.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Think it's more that yeah, because there weren't that. Like
I said, there were not that many people who were.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
Well, it's not a neighborhood community meeting where everybody stands
in line and I'm gonna be fourth.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
So but that goes on.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
Man, they say you need a cop, not a not
literally a police officer, but somebody to police the moment.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
That would be me. That's my job.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Well, here comes that your is it a friend or
family member? The past way, I'm so sorry, thank you,
thank you. Here comes Aaron M. Barlow.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
That's how that's how it stops. She plays them off.
So somebody's talking and you'll know your time is up.
And I really miss Jim.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We shared a lot of I'm sorry I sorry to
the family who.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Writes, I've gotten up and spoken under unplanned at a funeral.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
By the way, that's the keyword, unplanned.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
You haven't thought it through. You don't know what you're
gonna say.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
I understand being so so taken by the moment that
you would feel compelled to share your story.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
But I can't tell from her post if she's saying
they had an open mic.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Or I needed to I gotta get this off open
shoehorn her way.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
That you need did did they really call the copy?
Speaker 7 (06:27):
No?
Speaker 5 (06:27):
Well, they just said what did they call it? It
says in a lot of cases it is a terrible idea. No,
they say that, I swear to God, they say.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
That right here.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
It is a terrible idea to ask people, most of
whom have no experience with public speaking, to improvise at
a time of great emotion. If such a forum must
be provided, stationed someone with sufficient fortitude, experience, intact and
(07:02):
if possible, emotional detachment from the deceased near the microphone,
who can intervene when necessary?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
And does anybody know who this guy is? Oh, he's
just here to intervene.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
But they do bring up a good point that, yes,
you understand it, But it really is a moment of
like people are very emotional and most people aren't used
to speaking in that.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
I would be horrible.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
I don't speak in that that I would be miserable.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, because you're talking into a microphone and that closed off,
windowless studio. This is like when people thought I was
going to be this amazing best man speech giver at
Joe's wedding, and I was, but the pressure was on,
like I knew I'd be better than Kimberly's sister.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
No, no, but like I don't.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
I don't mind public I actually like public speaking, like
that doesn't bother.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Yeah, but have you ever given a eulogy? No, that's
that is not the hardest thing I have ever done.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
But isn't eulogy only for like you like your own family?
Like anyone?
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Can you eulogize best friend?
Speaker 6 (08:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Oh really?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Well now I feel why haven't I ever been asked?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
My My siblings were like, well, you should do it,
like you Frank and Pearl. I didn't do it for
my dad, but for my mom. They're like, well you
should do it. Why They're like, well, you talk, you
talk every day. I'm like, that's different.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
The oh yeah, see, I would I'd rise to that occasion.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
No, because well I hadn't done it. I didn't do
it for my dad, so I kind of felt obliged.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Obliged to do it for your mom. Sure, I hate that.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
My example was my friend's wedding and yours was an
actual funeral.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yes, but you have to have that written out like that.
I would feel really under pressure if so. Off the cuff.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
No, that's where you go off the cuff, so it's naw.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
And I wouldn't feel like you do it justice off
the cuff too.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
I would forget things.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I'd stammer, be like, oh god, I wish I would
have mentioned that.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
You know, I would just say to everybody, I want
to make myself feel cufmfortable like I am in the studio.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Y'all don't mind I eat through.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
This, right, I agree. I just like that it says
it's a terrible It's well.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
They say it's a terrible idea.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
You're asking people who like Aaron and Barlow, in the moment,
feel compelled to get up and say something.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
They're not public speakers.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
They're speaking emotionally, which is good.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
That's what you want. But they're out of.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
Control and they're not paying attention to like timing and
stuff like that, and hit like set up punchline, set
up punchline?
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Where am I going? Line three? Hi Elliott in the morning.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, Hi?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Who's this?
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Hey?
Speaker 7 (09:38):
Hi? This is Kristen. How are you?
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I am doing well? Thank you? What can I do
for you?
Speaker 7 (09:43):
So I'm going to a funeral. I'm finding a Connecticut
in about an hour to go to a funeral this weekend,
which hopefully there will not be an open mic. But
I've been to two in the past year that have
had something like that.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Are they bad? Is it a bad idea?
Speaker 7 (09:57):
So?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I think it.
Speaker 7 (10:00):
My mother in law passed away about two years ago
and we had her memorial service this summer and it
was like a scattering of the ashes on the river.
And my father in law made it very clear that
the only person that was going to speak on the
boat with him because he said, if we get people
to start giving stories and telling memories, we're going to
(10:20):
be here forever.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Right.
Speaker 7 (10:22):
So he so he made a speech and said, you know,
we're having a reception afterwards. Please hold whatever you know,
stories or memories you have until we get back to
the house, which was genius. And then I had a
friend passed away a year ago, and so she was
pretty young, you know about forty early forties, so bad.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
You have little kids, of course, And at her.
Speaker 7 (10:46):
Service, the minister said, instead of you know, people coming
up and speaking at a certain point, you know, she said,
at the very beginning, I want you to think about this.
At a certain point, I'm going to ask for memories
of her, and I want you to yell out one
word that reminds you of her. Can I put a
(11:08):
question and at that point of it you may not
put a question that It's actually a great That was
a great way to do it because it got to
that point and then people would yell at I mean
half of us were like tequila because she loved tequila,
and you know, it brings a little laugh that way.
Everyone felt like they contributed. So you get one someone
(11:31):
being so young. Yeah, so just one word that reminds
you of her.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
Oh, I oh, the beach really nice.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
That's okay, the uh, that's pretty good. I think I
like that. I think I like that.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Is everybody else going through a list of people in
their head right now thinking about what they would yell.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Butterflies. We turned into a row, yes, like a transition.
No what he fell off on him almost died then too.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
That's good, thank you, ma'am. I hope the I hope
the service this weekend is uh is good.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (12:23):
Oh it'll be fun. It's a big you know, Italian family.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
So oh my job.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Ze right, very good, very good, Thank you, ma'am. Thank
you sounds better than the players. Right's mother in law's
funeral was opened. My wife's sister got up and rambled
for ten minutes about how she did not get certain
items from the mom that she found in our house,
Oh my god, plus a lot of other slights and
crimes against her.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
In time that he that was fund What do you no?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
But you know what, well, that's why.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I wanted the credenza.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
That's why you need me there as the cop. No, no,
but you know what that is.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
I bet, I bet, I bet, I would bet whoever
that was had no intention of doing it, but was
just so overcome with the emotion.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
And for her, the emotion, the emotion was anger. The
emotion was anger.
Speaker 5 (13:17):
And so she got up there and she's like, I'm
gonna let her have it, and nobody was able to
shut it down.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
So you're like a content protector. You're the Josh of
the funeral because it's not just length.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It's everybody that comes up by asking them if I
can get tickets? Elliott, what a neutrigering bar. I've been
stored them.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
In here and Aaron by the way, following up with
sir talking to you Ellen, I can read the room.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
No you can't. You got up line three? Hi Elliott
the morning.
Speaker 7 (13:56):
Hey is this me?
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Hi? Who's this?
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (14:00):
This is Leanne down in Virginia Beach, Leanne.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
What can I do for you?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (14:05):
So when my mother in law passed away, rather than
having everybody come up and say their feel and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
We actually set up a little station.
Speaker 7 (14:13):
Where they could write a note and they put it
then in a keepsake box for the family to read
at a later time, you know, when it was going
to be good for them.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I like that that worked out really well.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
Yeah I do, But I don't. Yeah no, I mean, listen,
everybody should do.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
It because people aren't going to write a novel. So
it'll be something like size can I have another post it?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
The no? No, But like I don't like.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
But for example, I feel like I would I would
say something better than I would write it.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
What like, my writing isn't good? I can't.
Speaker 5 (14:50):
If you make a mistake while you're writing, it looks
like garbage. At least if you make a mistake while
you're talking, you just go and then you just kind
of pick up wherever you were you were.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I'm sorry. Is that your strategy? Every morning?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Ye oh no, I put my family's future in your hands.
Hi Elliott the morning Britain's yelling cones, Yeah, Hi, U's this?
Speaker 6 (15:24):
This is Ben?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Hey Ben, where do you call me from? Sir Richmond? Oh?
Very good? Yes, Ben and Richmond go ahead please.
Speaker 6 (15:33):
My aunt passed away like two weeks ago. My parents,
who have been divorced for fifteen plus years. My mother
decides to include herself because she always has to make
it spectacle of herself. Well, at the very end, when
you have to, you know, they say, hey, anyone has
anything else to say? My mom goes up there. The
pastor offers for the microphone, and then she proceeds to
(15:54):
argue with the pastor for five to ten minutes that
she'd be loud enough in front of the whole audience
should be loud enough for the whole audience to hear her.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Oh my God, good use of time.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I'm grieving over here, say
The funeral you were at over the summer.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It was. Yeah, it was more of a like a
memorial service. And so the adult children got up and spoke.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
They were they were supposed to.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Yes, the women's grandkids got up and spoke, and then
they opened it up and said, you know, is there
anybody else here who'd like to share a memory?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
So that's common. Yeah, did you get up?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Have you ever?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
No?
Speaker 4 (00:23):
What did it say in the program to describe that?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
Was it off the cough? Was it like impromptu?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah? Yeah, I think it was more impromptu.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
So they just decided it's opening.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
There wasn't a program, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
The could do this in rehearsal.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
The No.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
No, but I was reading about this yesterday and I'd
never heard of this.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I've never heard of that. I never seen some TV.
I was just done for comedy or whatever.
Speaker 6 (00:51):
No.
Speaker 5 (00:51):
No, I just assumed that if somebody is is somebody
speaking at a funeral, they were asked by the family
or they are family to speak.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Not like, oh, you know what, I think I'd like
to get up.
Speaker 5 (01:04):
Like I would, I would I would almost feel like
I'm not supposed to.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
Well, I don't know if you should talk if you're
that uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:14):
But so when I was reading about this, they said
that if you're going to offer an open mic at
a funeral, you got to have somebody who's got a
certain job.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
God like policing it, so to speak. Yeah, really, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Like you need the you know, somebody like if somebody
gets up like they're walking toward you, no no, no, no no.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
No no no no no. Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Because you know, somebody is going to be a little
bit like off.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Well, it could be long winded. It could be long winded.
It could also be not not real.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Poigning one time when we were in grade school.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Right, So, but the job isn't to stop that person
from getting up there, because you don't want to.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 5 (01:59):
So nobody's on the way up and you're gonna put
your hand on him and go, hey, listen, I'd rather
you not. No.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
But if someone is, if someone's like going on too long,
then it's that person's job to be like, oh, well,
you know what, even if they're in the middle of
telling a story that was great, that was like, find
a good end point for them.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
They call it them the open mic police where it's somebody. No,
they said, you have to have somebody who can kind
of like like, I don't know, I don't know how
these things work.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Am I holding the mic and you're talking into it?
And then all of a sudden I just kind of
faded away where like and now you can't hear me.
And that's fine. I move on to the next one.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I think you can't just you can't cut in with
applause in the middle of somebody.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
What if they're telling us, well, that's what Diane was doing.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
They could be in the middle of a speech about
like some heartfelt moment and Diane's like, oh, great, great moment, and.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Then I'm putting down my coffee cup and walking up
to you and be like that, thank you so much
for that. That was a wonderful story.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, but I'm not done yet. R the No.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
They they so, we do have a lot of people
who and.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
You'll get to them, they know.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
But they said, that is such an important job and
it's got to be somebody who can handle.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
It, right for sure.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
You don't want people remembering the ceremony for what went
down at the open mic.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
So how did yours go? Diane, it was.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I mean it was only a few people. It was
a lot of older people who were there too. I'll
cut them off to primarily was it a Mike's stand?
Oh no, it was like handheld handheld?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, but was it did I hold it? Or did
did I hand it to them?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
People handed it among like the children, the adults, and
then like the grandchildren. Okay, so Tyler and then somebody
else and then somebody else from you know would get
up from a table right and would walk up and
go to like the front of the room.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Okay, so speak I have it here, and I'm like,
I done here though, and I'll walk it over to Tyler.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
No, it was like one of the kids. One of
the kids were adults.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Somebody moderate.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
So that's closer to that role.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
That's my role. Uh, I'm running around with that thing
like who was.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
The who was here? It wasn't And it wasn't that.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I should have done it at his funeral.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
It wasn't that many people who you know jumped in
to say anything. A handful right, you know.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
No, But I'm like, do you do you get some
of these again, I've never seen this happen.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Do you get some of these where all of a sudden,
it's like.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Like, well, there's a line of people.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Tim's, all of Tim's fraternity brothers are here, and you
know from back in the day.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I wouldn't doubt it, and they all got to talk,
I wouldn't doubt it.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
The I'm gonna I'll move that along.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So do you line up or do you get up
when you think the person's wrapping it up to be
the next I.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Think it's more that yeah, because there weren't that. Like
I said, there were not that many people who were.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
Well, it's not a neighborhood community meeting where everybody stands
in line and I'm gonna be fourth.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
So but that goes on.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
Man, they say you need a cop, not a not
literally a police officer, but somebody to police the moment.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Oh, here we go.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
That would be me. That's my job.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Well, here comes that your is it a friend or
family member? The past way, I'm so sorry, thank you,
thank you. Here comes Aaron M. Barlow.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
That's how that's how it stops. She plays them off.
So somebody's talking and you'll know your time is up.
And I really miss Jim.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We shared a lot of I'm sorry I sorry to
the family who.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Writes, I've gotten up and spoken under unplanned at a funeral.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
By the way, that's the keyword, unplanned.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
You haven't thought it through. You don't know what you're
gonna say.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
I understand being so so taken by the moment that
you would feel compelled to share your story.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
But I can't tell from her post if she's saying
they had an open mic.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Or I needed to I gotta get this off open
shoehorn her way.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
That you need did did they really call the copy?
Speaker 7 (06:27):
No?
Speaker 5 (06:27):
Well, they just said what did they call it? It
says in a lot of cases it is a terrible idea. No,
they say that, I swear to God, they say.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
That right here.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
It is a terrible idea to ask people, most of
whom have no experience with public speaking, to improvise at
a time of great emotion. If such a forum must
be provided, stationed someone with sufficient fortitude, experience, intact and
(07:02):
if possible, emotional detachment from the deceased near the microphone,
who can intervene when necessary?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
And does anybody know who this guy is? Oh, he's
just here to intervene.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
But they do bring up a good point that, yes,
you understand it, But it really is a moment of
like people are very emotional and most people aren't used
to speaking in that.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
I would be horrible.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
I don't speak in that that I would be miserable.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, because you're talking into a microphone and that closed off,
windowless studio. This is like when people thought I was
going to be this amazing best man speech giver at
Joe's wedding, and I was, but the pressure was on,
like I knew I'd be better than Kimberly's sister.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
No, no, but like I don't.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
I don't mind public I actually like public speaking, like
that doesn't bother.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Yeah, but have you ever given a eulogy? No, that's
that is not the hardest thing I have ever done.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
But isn't eulogy only for like you like your own family?
Like anyone?
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Can you eulogize best friend?
Speaker 6 (08:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Oh really?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Well now I feel why haven't I ever been asked?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
My My siblings were like, well, you should do it,
like you Frank and Pearl. I didn't do it for
my dad, but for my mom. They're like, well you
should do it. Why They're like, well, you talk, you
talk every day. I'm like, that's different.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
The oh yeah, see, I would I'd rise to that occasion.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
No, because well I hadn't done it. I didn't do
it for my dad, so I kind of felt obliged.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Obliged to do it for your mom. Sure, I hate that.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
My example was my friend's wedding and yours was an
actual funeral.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yes, but you have to have that written out like that.
I would feel really under pressure if so. Off the cuff.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
No, that's where you go off the cuff, so it's naw.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
And I wouldn't feel like you do it justice off
the cuff too.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
I would forget things.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I'd stammer, be like, oh god, I wish I would
have mentioned that.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
You know, I would just say to everybody, I want
to make myself feel cufmfortable like I am in the studio.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Y'all don't mind I eat through.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
This, right, I agree. I just like that it says
it's a terrible It's well.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
They say it's a terrible idea.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
You're asking people who like Aaron and Barlow, in the moment,
feel compelled to get up and say something.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
They're not public speakers.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
They're speaking emotionally, which is good.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
That's what you want. But they're out of.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
Control and they're not paying attention to like timing and
stuff like that, and hit like set up punchline, set
up punchline?
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Where am I going? Line three? Hi Elliott in the morning.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, Hi?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Who's this?
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Hey?
Speaker 7 (09:38):
Hi? This is Kristen. How are you?
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I am doing well? Thank you? What can I do
for you?
Speaker 7 (09:43):
So I'm going to a funeral. I'm finding a Connecticut
in about an hour to go to a funeral this weekend,
which hopefully there will not be an open mic. But
I've been to two in the past year that have
had something like that.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Are they bad? Is it a bad idea?
Speaker 7 (09:57):
So?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I think it.
Speaker 7 (10:00):
My mother in law passed away about two years ago
and we had her memorial service this summer and it
was like a scattering of the ashes on the river.
And my father in law made it very clear that
the only person that was going to speak on the
boat with him because he said, if we get people
to start giving stories and telling memories, we're going to
(10:20):
be here forever.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Right.
Speaker 7 (10:22):
So he so he made a speech and said, you know,
we're having a reception afterwards. Please hold whatever you know,
stories or memories you have until we get back to
the house, which was genius. And then I had a
friend passed away a year ago, and so she was
pretty young, you know about forty early forties, so bad.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
You have little kids, of course, And at her.
Speaker 7 (10:46):
Service, the minister said, instead of you know, people coming
up and speaking at a certain point, you know, she said,
at the very beginning, I want you to think about this.
At a certain point, I'm going to ask for memories
of her, and I want you to yell out one
word that reminds you of her. Can I put a
(11:08):
question and at that point of it you may not
put a question that It's actually a great That was
a great way to do it because it got to
that point and then people would yell at I mean
half of us were like tequila because she loved tequila,
and you know, it brings a little laugh that way.
Everyone felt like they contributed. So you get one someone
(11:31):
being so young. Yeah, so just one word that reminds
you of her.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
Oh, I oh, the beach really nice.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
That's okay, the uh, that's pretty good. I think I
like that. I think I like that.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Is everybody else going through a list of people in
their head right now thinking about what they would yell.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Butterflies. We turned into a row, yes, like a transition.
No what he fell off on him almost died then too.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
That's good, thank you, ma'am. I hope the I hope
the service this weekend is uh is good.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (12:23):
Oh it'll be fun. It's a big you know, Italian family.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
So oh my job.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Ze right, very good, very good, Thank you, ma'am. Thank
you sounds better than the players. Right's mother in law's
funeral was opened. My wife's sister got up and rambled
for ten minutes about how she did not get certain
items from the mom that she found in our house,
Oh my god, plus a lot of other slights and
crimes against her.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
In time that he that was fund What do you no?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
But you know what, well, that's why.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I wanted the credenza.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
That's why you need me there as the cop. No, no,
but you know what that is.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
I bet, I bet, I bet, I would bet whoever
that was had no intention of doing it, but was
just so overcome with the emotion.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
And for her, the emotion, the emotion was anger. The
emotion was anger.
Speaker 5 (13:17):
And so she got up there and she's like, I'm
gonna let her have it, and nobody was able to
shut it down.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
So you're like a content protector. You're the Josh of
the funeral because it's not just length.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It's everybody that comes up by asking them if I
can get tickets? Elliott, what a neutrigering bar. I've been
stored them.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
In here and Aaron by the way, following up with
sir talking to you Ellen, I can read the room.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
No you can't. You got up line three? Hi Elliott
the morning.
Speaker 7 (13:56):
Hey is this me?
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Hi? Who's this?
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (14:00):
This is Leanne down in Virginia Beach, Leanne.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
What can I do for you?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (14:05):
So when my mother in law passed away, rather than
having everybody come up and say their feel and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
We actually set up a little station.
Speaker 7 (14:13):
Where they could write a note and they put it
then in a keepsake box for the family to read
at a later time, you know, when it was going
to be good for them.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I like that that worked out really well.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
Yeah I do, But I don't. Yeah no, I mean, listen,
everybody should do.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
It because people aren't going to write a novel. So
it'll be something like size can I have another post it?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
The no? No, But like I don't like.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
But for example, I feel like I would I would
say something better than I would write it.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
What like, my writing isn't good? I can't.
Speaker 5 (14:50):
If you make a mistake while you're writing, it looks
like garbage. At least if you make a mistake while
you're talking, you just go and then you just kind
of pick up wherever you were you were.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I'm sorry. Is that your strategy? Every morning?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Ye oh no, I put my family's future in your hands.
Hi Elliott the morning Britain's yelling cones, Yeah, Hi, U's this?
Speaker 6 (15:24):
This is Ben?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Hey Ben, where do you call me from? Sir Richmond? Oh?
Very good? Yes, Ben and Richmond go ahead please.
Speaker 6 (15:33):
My aunt passed away like two weeks ago. My parents,
who have been divorced for fifteen plus years. My mother
decides to include herself because she always has to make
it spectacle of herself. Well, at the very end, when
you have to, you know, they say, hey, anyone has
anything else to say? My mom goes up there. The
pastor offers for the microphone, and then she proceeds to
(15:54):
argue with the pastor for five to ten minutes that
she'd be loud enough in front of the whole audience
should be loud enough for the whole audience to hear her.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Oh my God, good use of time.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I'm grieving over here, say
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