Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
People spending money after a breakup. And by the way,
I know what you're thinking right now, totally a chick thing.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Wrong, wrong, most long.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Sixty percent of people who spend money on like and
they have retail therapy. No, no, no, no, maybe she'd
stop guessing.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
No, she's doing great, she's doing great.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Great, You've told her she's been wrong every time she's guessed.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
I know.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
But what we're eliminating what people might think it is like,
for example, do you have a breakup.
Speaker 5 (00:30):
Plan if I'm going to divorce my husband.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Or just if you're dating somebody. It could be for
a divorce, it could be for dating. No, you should
what happens if By the way, the holidays a huge
time for breakups, right, people do it beforehand. Yeah, yeah,
but you're now, you're in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. So
maybe I made it through Thanksgiving. I was going to
give it one last push and then other than the wishbone,
(00:56):
I'd like to break you. And so i'd like to
break up before the holloways get here.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
And these aren't huge breakers, aren't prenups?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I know you said that it can be just dating
and not marriage.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
It is everything from people do all kinds, We'll spend
money on all kinds of stuff. Have you ever heard
of the men d app n d men by? How
do you mend a broken heart? Never heard of it?
Do you have many subscribers around this goddamn thing?
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Turn your breakup into a breakthrough. Oh so that's why
you're saying, we have to find.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Our nie, we gotta find our niche.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I've never heard of the men DApp? But do we
have to have it on phones? Can? Can this be
face to face? Oh? Yeah, no, there are people.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
There are people who like do all kinds of like
they host weekend retreats.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
And you're saying it's sixty percent men, Yes, who are
going to these things, not running them.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
They will correct correct, Yeah, they did say most of
like like weekend getaways are kind of split fifty to fifty.
And I don't mean weekend getaways like hey, let's go
to Vegas and go to a strip club, but like
weekend retreats to kind of like get out in nature
and hike and then like talk about it like in
(02:27):
a group.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
I've never heard of this. And they said everybody should
have a breakup plan.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
So is this something that you would cover hear of
this before breaking up.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Well, it's not an you don't contract it with somebody.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
How do you have a plan with these businesses if
you're still in.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Well, no you don't. You don't. But you would say, well,
maybe you do, maybe you do.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Like things are, things are a little on the rocks
right now, you go all right if this ends, instead
of me, oh no, no, no, what are you gonna do?
Take nick knacks and throw them in a fish bowl?
People do that the I read that in here the
and that way that it's like throwing them all.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
In the garbage.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
But that's not getting you anywhere. You're still bump on
a log. You got no personality. But if you knew
if I break up, I'm doing this, I'm going to
a lot of people a lot of journaling. But the
I'm gonna write about it, I'm gonna write down everything
I hate about them.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It could be anything.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Now, when you said journaling, I thought you started or
were going to say, German is this huge out of
that country. I'm seeing Germany pop up a lot in
a search for this.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Maybe, like so you get if you break up in
the German workforce, they have leave from the office for breakups.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Wait a minute, So I break up with my girlfriend
and I can take leave?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yes, do I have to go through with it?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Because I tell Aaron I'm separated and I need a
couple of weeks.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
I have never read that before, but apparently that is
the practice.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Wait, so if you date, just dating someone and you
break up, who's the worst in our office of like
date and break up? No, Kristen, I don't think it's Casey.
I don't leave the studio, so I have no idea
the I know Casey's looking for love, but what I
(04:29):
don't think. I don't think that it's ongoing. Although I
don't know what happened with that last guy. Yeah, well
case on vacation again. She's not on vacation, she's on leave.
They broke up.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Yeah, doctors in Germany, and the doctors in Germany will
issue notes failure, failure to adapt psychologically and then it
allows essentially for a heartbreak diagnosis and you can get
weeks off from the office.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Well, but you know what is that attached to?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
You know what they've seen people who have died from
a break from a breakup.
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Heart you you you always say that that's Boshie.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
I don't believe in it, but if I can charge
for it, I might be in a lot.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Of psychotherapy I see here. But you're saying this is
different than counseling, and this is different, but.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
They also they also have breakup.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
They also have breakup not experts, but like therapists, but
they're not real therapists.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Like nobody went to school. But it's like, yeah, so
let's talk it through and then you would.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Tell me, and I would just kind of bounce a
couple of things back and forth with you, and I'm
your breakup coach.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
You know what it is? You know, like some people
have like coaches.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Life coach, yeah, dating coaches, dating coaches, Yeahzach Zach Ruth,
he had a dating coach.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
That dating coaches didn't go to school for that.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Somebody read a couple of things online, watched a couple
of YouTube videos.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
So his body psychotherapy not one of those accepted sciences.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
If a client says they want to get back together
with the X, you write down their name on a
note card and place it onto a chair.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Wait, the person they broke up with? Yes, okay.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
The client then writes down other scenarios such as seeing
someone new, remaining single, et cetera, and places them on
alternative chairs. Then the client sits on one and waits
for a bodily response.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
That's you. Sometimes, Hey, what's happening over there with you? Chief?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Sometimes they don't even need to sit down at all.
The choice of the chair, whether it was cozy or cold,
was the answer for why the card was there.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Do I know what what the card says before I
sit down? Yeah? You placed them?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Oh well, I don't need to sit in a chair.
I can tell you which one. I don't want to
get back with them.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
But it's a little bit of a mind game exactly.
It wasn't about sitting on them. You placed that person
that x's name in a chair that you held for them.
Is it a folding chair?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Or did I give them a comfort chair? Gaming? You know?
Is it a gamer shair? Oh see, that's good. That's
I like that. I like that. So you're into body psychotherapy.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
I have a whole room set up for it. I mean,
if I'm not coaching you, I'm letting you pick a chair.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Oh, here you go. More than fifty percent of the
market is men it's close to sixty percent of men.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
They just don't say anything like chicks will tell you
all day, oh.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
You're and that's exactly what it says. The typical man
reacts opposite when it comes to heartbreak. A lot of
our male clients say we're the first people they've told
thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Instead of women, We're like, oh, I need tell.
Speaker 6 (07:38):
I would love to be a fly on the wall
when the person came in with a doctor's note and
handed it to you, and you say, you got to
get in line behind Diane for that surgery and then
we'll see.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Where am I going. Kristen, had you ever heard of
the men DApp well now, because.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You also haven't been like a long time or broken
up or broken up with someone?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
The draw picture of a heart? Oh what's this one?
Speaker 6 (08:14):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:14):
Right now?
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah? Okay, you and Scott have broken up. He broke
up with you.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I want you to write down inside the heart everything
you love, Marley doesn't.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
Count everything I love about our relationship, or just.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Want you to write down in the heart.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Didn't give me everything you love, not about I didn't
say love about your relationship, which is over, so probably nothing.
But I want you to write down in the heart
everything you love. Okay, what did you write down my cats?
Speaker 2 (08:52):
No, that's okay, that's good.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Keep writing just random things that I write.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Well, you love Scott? Well yeah, but you he broke
up with you. You didn't break up with him.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
Well, yeah, I'm not. I'm not writing that down then, so.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
You don't love you didn't love Scott?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
No?
Speaker 6 (09:07):
Well you you said I couldn't write down by a kid,
but I can write down the one who just dumped me. Okay, Sorry,
y'all are coming after the cats?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Mm hmm. I'm surprised Dian hasn't tried to figure out
where this is going. What else did you write down?
Vander Pump rules, Eric Don Bravo. It's all encompassed APR. No. See, okay,
but that's good. You know what the problem is there? Huh,
you're too needy?
Speaker 5 (09:34):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
What you have? Too much? You're too needy.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Because of what I wrote down?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, because you have all these things that you need
to feel love from too much? To No.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
No, no, you said what do I love?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Right, and the answer should be you know what I
love Jackie. That's it for this exercise? Yes, okay, because
you have the work.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Hockey. My friends, like they would say, I'm way too needy. O.
Speaker 6 (10:05):
God, I'm sorry, sorry, friends, you're beyond bravo. But I
just I wasn't thinking that way.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
No, but they say that people who have who do
love too many things, too needy, maybe a sweeping generalization. Well,
I'm am I not a coach. Did you do any
training other than watching a YouTube video? Where am I going?
(10:30):
Line one? Hi, Yellie in the morning.
Speaker 7 (10:33):
Hey Ellie, Yeah, Hey, good morning. Love you guys show
you got to me my morning every day.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Thank you very kind.
Speaker 7 (10:40):
Do you guys know yeah, you guys know what. Host
clubs are not really popular in America, but like in
Asian countries.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Host clubs, I'm not familiar.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Yeah, so, I mean they're not directly in the business
of breakups, but a lot of lonely people go to
these places and they're kind of like need cafes where
you have, you know, a bunch of beautiful girls serving you,
just talking with you.
Speaker 7 (11:03):
Nothing you know, sexual, but you know something.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Maybe like an affectionate touch on the arm, right, And
those are very popular, and I mean popular.
Speaker 7 (11:11):
In America, but I could see that being a booming business.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Hey, when's the last time. When's the last time? When's
the last time you had a bad?
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Like, I don't even want to call it a bad breakup,
just a breakup.
Speaker 7 (11:22):
Oh man, my ex fiance and I broke up maybe
like two years ago, and I'm still riding that wave.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Are you really?
Speaker 7 (11:30):
Yeah, everyone's like it over it, But I don't know.
We were together for like seven years.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
We bought a house together.
Speaker 7 (11:35):
It was messy.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
What is the can I can I ask what led
to the breakup?
Speaker 7 (11:42):
I guess it's I mean, we both need some mistakes.
We'll say you that cheating, trying a couple of counselings
for a year wasn't working out. And uh yeah, and
just by.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
The way, that's the other thing. That's the other thing.
But the the I can't remember what it's called. But
they have like these these these these like reconciliation programs
and stuff like that that people spend a crap ton.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Of money on. No, Oh, you're in the business of
break up, right.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Yeah, I don't want break fix No, Hey, what is
the So you did couples counseling? And when did you
guys decide that like this ain't this ain't gonna be
for us.
Speaker 7 (12:27):
Oh maybe like a year into it. Ultimately, I mean,
like I forgive her for what she did, but she
just said she couldn't forgive me for what I did
and said you couldn't see me any other way. So
after a year i'd be yeah, I know, yeah, a
lot of money out of pocket.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I'd be so angry.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Maybe that'll help me get over it.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Just be really bitter.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Ye.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
No, but why can't you be Why can't you be angry?
Speaker 7 (12:54):
Oh no, I would have to forgive you know, you
leave that in you like a splinter. You know it'll
get and then I think it'd be a miserable brick
for the rest of your life.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
You know.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Okay, well then, but by the sound of it, this
is called tough love. You're gonna the only thing you're
gonna hood the rest of your life is a tree.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
The like that's all.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
That's all, like like crystal crap, the no no no,
But and I don't mean get over it, like I
get it.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
The heart hurts a little bit. It takes a little
bit of time. You got the mean trainer.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
No no, no, but you can't like you could be angry,
like what what what's what's unhealthy about that.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
No, yeah, I think I've gone through that feed already.
It's kind of like a great I don't know, so,
you know, they say, I'll get some long dive. You
have like different fees into the breakup. You have fees
that you know you have to though.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Have you dated yet?
Speaker 7 (13:45):
Oh you're in there? Nothing serious.
Speaker 6 (13:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (13:47):
I'm a hopeless romantic. I don't like to casually be.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Like we're getting old now, Oh how old are you?
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Uh?
Speaker 7 (13:56):
Thirty four?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Next week? By the way, can I just let me
set him up with Casey? Seriously? Seriously?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
What is the no?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
No, but you know what I mean, like you you like, listen,
I get it. Everybody says they're a hopeless romantic. But
sometimes to get there, I mean, you also do some
freaky stuff too.
Speaker 7 (14:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Yeah, let's celebrate the turtles swimming freely in the ocean
and not wonder how it got there.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Oh my god, a tree, Say hi to tree.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
That's Clint Smith. By the way, I'm gonna give as
a poet. I didn't come up with that, oh no.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
But by the way, in the thing that I saw,
there are a lot of people that try to read
poetry and write poetry.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Well, I had a question about your practice, because one,
it sounds like you're giving away the milk for free
to this guy.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Right, but you still know how because make money.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
We are but I do I feel bad for this
guy and I'm not. Don't don't confuse that with I
pity you. Are you doing injections? Pardon me?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Are you doing injections? What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
It says that there's a lot of stuff that does
not require FDA approval that you can do when it
comes to trying to treat the breakup with medicine, Like
what kind of medicine?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Though? So this one guy is.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
He is doing a is it's ketamin a stellate ganglion block?
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I just do mushrooms. That sounds legit. Why don't you
just microdose?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
So injecting two locals near the nerves in the person's neck.
Within minutes, these patients who are suffering through a breakup
will feel rumination begin to subside and the infinite loop
of what did I do wrong?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Can't we just smoke weeds?
Speaker 5 (15:46):
I'm here tripping?
Speaker 6 (15:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (15:51):
Then you just start introspecting thinking what did I do wrong?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
That's a good point too, though.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
That's a good but I don't want to get lost
in myself and all of a sudden, I'm looking at
me like I'm walking on my doormat self.
Speaker 7 (16:02):
I've been down that road. I'm calling into you guys
right now.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
He no, but you know what I mean, Like I
want you like two years, that's a long time.
Speaker 7 (16:16):
It is.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Yeah, she had a he had a daughter from a
previous relationship.
Speaker 7 (16:21):
And yeah, we just had a house. We lived together
for so long it felt like we were married. You know,
we were engaged for a few years.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Can I ask you this? Can I ask you this?
Who got the house?
Speaker 7 (16:32):
I need it for her because a big reason was
for the school district, for the kid I know who.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
No, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you what. First of all, not.
Speaker 6 (16:44):
Your kid, that's what. But that's what it sounds like
it was, though, who say again? He sounds as though
it was What's I mean? Raised as though it was no,
not anymore.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
It was like a being a dad.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
It was great, But it's not your kid anymore. How
much time you spend with that kid?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Now?
Speaker 7 (17:09):
Oh, I mean, she doesn't want to see me anymore
at all. I still send her stuff. You know, on
her birthday we already got you know, when I met her,
her daughter was she just turned three, and then when
we broke up, she was like nine, so like a
big part of her life.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah, in the grand scheme of things, it's not that much.
How much money you're saying.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I know, I know, no, no, and I listen. It's
good that she had a good male role model. But
at the end of the day, that's done.
Speaker 7 (17:37):
Yeah, I'm not good at this.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I'm not good.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
I would say, No.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I haven't fitted you figured out my niece yet.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
No.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
But are you am I the only one who feels
badly for this guy? Well, don't you feel badly for
anyone who's about a breakout?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
No, there are some people that are just people who
deserve to be broken up with, who were like bad. Like,
can I ask you this, do you feel like do
you feel like when you went through this couple's therapy
do you feel like at the end she wasn't really
trying to reconcile, but she was just kind of just
going through the through the motions.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, then here was a.
Speaker 7 (18:11):
Comfortability thing you dedn't even just like being in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Then so you made me spend all that money to
go through something that you didn't even want to fix
at the end.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Well, yeah, I'm not I know. I am not sympathetic there.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Elliott says, you got to find that bitter the.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Nothing wrong with bitder? Hey are you on the men?
Speaker 7 (18:33):
Dap?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
No good, I'm starting my own uh at bitter men
bitter man?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
All right, dude, Hey, best to what you want me
to see? You want me to see if Casey will
go out with you.
Speaker 7 (18:50):
I'm far from the DC area on Long Island, but I.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Appreciate it doesn't matter. Case he'll drive a thousand miles.
All right, Hold tight one second, Hold on one second.
I like him though. Two things.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Yes, One for our nerve block, we don't accept insurance.
I thought that's cheap, that's important.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
It's not. It says it cost thousands of dollars. Wait
for a nerve block. Don't you get a nerve.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
FDA approved?
Speaker 6 (19:16):
This isn't you getting like propofol, getting like a psychedelic
give keddemy?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Also like, I feel as if our office would be
right next to the dispensary that magic shop. And two
I did blow the quote, why would we concern ourselves
with how the turtle arrived in the water, when we
could simply celebrate the fact that it is swimming safely
out at sea. I read that last night and it
(19:42):
was like, what a great morning mindset, It was an
evening mindset. But why did you read that?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
It was a book of poetry recommended to me by
Naomi and Blue Sky. And you're reading a book of poetry.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Actually reading two books at this at this time, watch
ESPN with my goggles.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Wait learning too, Hi Elliott the morning. Hello, Yeah, Hi,
who's this? Hi?
Speaker 8 (20:16):
My name is Sam.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Yes, the doctor is in Sorry, I'm not a doctor,
I'm a coach.
Speaker 8 (20:23):
So a week before Thanksgiving, my husband of twelve years
and two kids told me that he met a girl
and he fell in love with her and it's no
longer in love.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
With me, and you broke up.
Speaker 8 (20:38):
We're separated. She doesn't want to divorce yet because he
wants to keep his benefits because he's in the military.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Right.
Speaker 8 (20:45):
I am leaving with my kids after Christmas and I'm
going back home to Philadelphia.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Okay, Well, can please first and foremost please continue to
listen on the app? Okay them?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Hey, so wait a minute, so I understand.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I understand why he doesn't want to get a divorce
because of the benefits, But what are you gonna do.
Speaker 8 (21:17):
I have to do what I have to do for
my kids. He he is head over heels for this
woman that he met a month ago. She is twenty
two years old. We are in our thirties. Doesn't want
to be your husband anymore. So you know, that's that's
his choice. I mean, in my heartbroken, of course, I
spent twelve years with the guy, and you know, I
uprooted my entire life for him to be in the military.
(21:39):
And you know, it was just, you know, the holiday season,
you know, it's it's like, really, he could just you know,
wait a little bit longer. And we went home to
his family on Thanksgiving because we were going to try
and see if we could, you know, rekindle whatever spark
was there.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
And very hard to do.
Speaker 8 (21:58):
It is very hard, especially the fact that you know
his heart is with another person, and he he ditched us.
He said he was running to the store, and I
found out he met up with a girl halfway and
he spent the rest of Thanksgiving with her his family.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yeah, and you were with her, You're with his family.
Does his family know where he went?
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Uh?
Speaker 8 (22:20):
He told us that he was going to the store
because he wanted to start Black Friday shopping. And then
he didn't come. He ain't come back home long. So
it was around midnight that I realized something was wrong
because he he was going for a few hours, like
my son was getting worried because my son's ten, and
you know, he was worried, where's that? Like, where's that?
(22:41):
And I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah him.
Speaker 8 (22:48):
I called him like five times. He didn't answer, but
then he texted me and said, hey, I'm at a hotel.
I accidentally fell asleep. I met up with the girls.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Just for one second. No, just at least, no, at
least he said where he was. He didn't lie.
Speaker 6 (23:04):
Well congratulations, No, no, no, no, but at least.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
He's real brave VI attacks at least.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yes, he's not a good guy, but I'm at least saying,
at least you know, you know what I mean, Like
I prefer that.
Speaker 6 (23:16):
So she's leaving after she said after the holidays, at.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Least download the app and continue to listen to the show.
There there please the the where's he like? So he's
keeping the house? Has he had sex with this woman.
Speaker 5 (23:30):
Yes, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (23:33):
He didn't tell me, and I personally don't want to know.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Thanks Dian Well, I mean.
Speaker 8 (23:39):
And no, yeah, it's it's it's one of those things
where it's like, you know, obviously it happened. I'm not stupid.
You know you said the night with well, did you sleep?
Now you didn't sleep. Maybe after the fact, but you
didn't sleep the whole time. But I don't know. I
just keep telling myself that, you know, everything is going
to be okay. I have to be okay for my kids,
you know, my son, especially because my daughter is autistic,
(24:03):
so she doesn't really truly understand what is going on,
but my son is. My son is fully aware. And
you know, I'm not bad notting his father. I keep
telling him, like, look, you know, Daddy's not a bad person.
It's just sometimes in life, people make choices and decisions
and we have to respect that. And Daddy made a choice,
and if this is what Daddy wants to do, we
have to respect that, and we have to move on
(24:23):
and move forward. He'll always be your dad, He'll always
love you, and just like you know, I'll always care
about him too, because you know, we we raised a
family together, but as far as us continuing as a couple,
it's not gonna happen. Like we had to have a
sit down top with him yesterday actually and tell him,
you know, what's been going on, and you know, like
mommy and daddy are still gonna work together as a team,
(24:45):
but it's just gonna be a different kind of a team.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
I was gonna say that's good. You know who wouldn't
be good at that, Elliott Siegel?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Not at breakup?
Speaker 8 (24:55):
It was hard, you know, it was really hard, you know,
like I have to be a strong one for my
for my son. You know, like if you know, if
my husband wants to, you know, do like ABC's want
two three with other people, that's fine. I have to
just wear the pants for the both of us. I guess,
like my my kids come first and they will always
come first.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
So go back to another part, are you gonna are
you gonna get divorced or are you gonna are you gonna
hang through for the benefits?
Speaker 8 (25:22):
Well, I mean I personally just want to rip the
bandit off and I just want to call it a divorce,
but he's asking me not to. He wants to wait
and personally, I feel like it's because he wants his cake.
He wants to eat it too, and I'm not about that. Sure,
you know, it's like you made this choice. He made
this decision like you made. You made the choice of
(25:44):
stepping out of our marriage to meet another person, like
you follows through with it like that. That's your choice.
Now I have to do what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Do you have any interest in a man from Long
Island who has.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Experience, experience with kids? This guy would be great. I
put the two of you together.
Speaker 8 (26:00):
And he thought that much older than me, So hey, yeah,
put that done.
Speaker 7 (26:04):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Also the other thing, when you're in Philly, go to
Dallas Sandro's. They got no they have great cheese steaks.
They do.
Speaker 8 (26:11):
Actually I'm from South Philly.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Oh there you go. Very wow, very good, good, good good.
It's almost like you and I are getting together. All right?
What Diana? What I just really badly for her?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I do too.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
I do too.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
I wouldn't.
Speaker 6 (26:25):
I would not acquiesce any You say that now, you
say that of his request?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
You say that now the holiday season, now this season,
and by the way, it took.
Speaker 8 (26:36):
A good while to get to where I'm at. Because
I mean at first when it hit when it hit me, yeah,
of course, it was just because I am a thought
it was a sick joke, and I just looked at
him and I started to laugh and I was like no.
I was like, nah, like, there's no because we've been
together for twelve years, like like we're thirty, so we've
(26:57):
been together since you know, we were we were kids. No,
like we were young when we got together, and we
even dated back in high school fifteen years all together,
Like we've been together, but we've been married for twelve wow,
and I must He said I met somebody, I'm in
love with them, and I was like, yeah, right, like
to your mom period. I date it into a joke
(27:26):
because I was like, there's no, there's no way, like
you don't even talk to people. But then I found
out it's a girl that he is in the military with.
She's twenty two years old, and he was like, I'm
in love with her, and I don't think I'm in
love with you anymore. I'm like, okay, all right, so
that that's what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Wow, that's a lot going on.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
So wait, So between now and in the beginning of
the year, when you when you head back to Philly.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Are you two still living together right now?
Speaker 8 (27:52):
So? Right now, yes, we are living together. He has
the bedroom now, yeah, so he's I'm on up on
the couch, which is kind of weird. Like his family
even told me, They're like, why aren't you giving him
the couch? And why don't you have the bed? I said,
because I don't want anything associated with him. I can't
lay in the bed knowing that someone betrayed me so
hard has laid in that same bed.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
You are so much of a better person than I am,
or I would just be upstairs.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
I'd be upstairs farting on his pillow or something that's mature.
Speaker 8 (28:21):
Elliott. His mom gave me, how about it? Like his
own mother was like, no, like kick him out of
the room, like kick him out of the house, send
him back to the barracks. And I was like, but
what what would that say about me? Like if he
wants to be ugly, I'm not going to equally make
myself as ugly as he is. I'm going to be
the better person.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
When they go low, I go lower.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Absolutely all right, very good, hold on old, Yeah, no,
that that that exactly all right? Very good, hold on
one second, Hold on one second, that's horrible.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Oh the story, yeah, oh I love her better. Download
the app. Re sponse is just incredible, though, what.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Do you mean her response? Yes, oh, she's she's much
more mature than I.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Am, to a level of not just wanting to be civil,
but to not even match it with a measured reaction.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
It's just I need to keep by the way. I
bet that pisses him off. My children first, yeah and foremost.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yeah, No, she's a much better person than I am.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
And I'm happy to hear that. The in law is Yeah, well,
what are they gonna say.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Oh, there's plenty of in laws that don't side with
the one doesn't.
Speaker 5 (29:42):
Yeah, They're like, it doesn't matter. It's my kid.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, yeah, it's my kid. And you know she is
twenty two. What did you do?
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (29:50):
Okay, would that wouldn't be me young? AND's gonna dump him.
She'll get the last laugh and do not let him
come crawling back.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
The Okay, all right, all right, that's part of my
being a life coach.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Break up coach. Try men feel like men wouldn't work. See,
but I'm already in it. See, I'm already running a business.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Eric can't believe she's from South Philly because she's so
like calm and even Field
People spending money after a breakup. And by the way,
I know what you're thinking right now, totally a chick thing.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Wrong, wrong, most long.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Sixty percent of people who spend money on like and
they have retail therapy. No, no, no, no, maybe she'd
stop guessing.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
No, she's doing great, she's doing great.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Great, You've told her she's been wrong every time she's guessed.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
I know.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
But what we're eliminating what people might think it is like,
for example, do you have a breakup.
Speaker 5 (00:30):
Plan if I'm going to divorce my husband.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Or just if you're dating somebody. It could be for
a divorce, it could be for dating. No, you should
what happens if By the way, the holidays a huge
time for breakups, right, people do it beforehand. Yeah, yeah,
but you're now, you're in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. So
maybe I made it through Thanksgiving. I was going to
give it one last push and then other than the wishbone,
(00:56):
I'd like to break you. And so i'd like to
break up before the holloways get here.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
And these aren't huge breakers, aren't prenups?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I know you said that it can be just dating
and not marriage.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
It is everything from people do all kinds, We'll spend
money on all kinds of stuff. Have you ever heard
of the men d app n d men by? How
do you mend a broken heart? Never heard of it?
Do you have many subscribers around this goddamn thing?
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Turn your breakup into a breakthrough. Oh so that's why
you're saying, we have to find.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Our nie, we gotta find our niche.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I've never heard of the men DApp? But do we
have to have it on phones? Can? Can this be
face to face? Oh? Yeah, no, there are people.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
There are people who like do all kinds of like
they host weekend retreats.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
And you're saying it's sixty percent men, Yes, who are
going to these things, not running them.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
They will correct correct, Yeah, they did say most of
like like weekend getaways are kind of split fifty to fifty.
And I don't mean weekend getaways like hey, let's go
to Vegas and go to a strip club, but like
weekend retreats to kind of like get out in nature
and hike and then like talk about it like in
(02:27):
a group.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
I've never heard of this. And they said everybody should
have a breakup plan.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
So is this something that you would cover hear of
this before breaking up.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Well, it's not an you don't contract it with somebody.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
How do you have a plan with these businesses if
you're still in.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Well, no you don't. You don't. But you would say, well,
maybe you do, maybe you do.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Like things are, things are a little on the rocks
right now, you go all right if this ends, instead
of me, oh no, no, no, what are you gonna do?
Take nick knacks and throw them in a fish bowl?
People do that the I read that in here the
and that way that it's like throwing them all.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
In the garbage.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
But that's not getting you anywhere. You're still bump on
a log. You got no personality. But if you knew
if I break up, I'm doing this, I'm going to
a lot of people a lot of journaling. But the
I'm gonna write about it, I'm gonna write down everything
I hate about them.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It could be anything.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Now, when you said journaling, I thought you started or
were going to say, German is this huge out of
that country. I'm seeing Germany pop up a lot in
a search for this.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Maybe, like so you get if you break up in
the German workforce, they have leave from the office for breakups.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Wait a minute, So I break up with my girlfriend
and I can take leave?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yes, do I have to go through with it?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Because I tell Aaron I'm separated and I need a
couple of weeks.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
I have never read that before, but apparently that is
the practice.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Wait, so if you date, just dating someone and you
break up, who's the worst in our office of like
date and break up? No, Kristen, I don't think it's Casey.
I don't leave the studio, so I have no idea
the I know Casey's looking for love, but what I
(04:29):
don't think. I don't think that it's ongoing. Although I
don't know what happened with that last guy. Yeah, well
case on vacation again. She's not on vacation, she's on leave.
They broke up.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Yeah, doctors in Germany, and the doctors in Germany will
issue notes failure, failure to adapt psychologically and then it
allows essentially for a heartbreak diagnosis and you can get
weeks off from the office.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Well, but you know what is that attached to?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
You know what they've seen people who have died from
a break from a breakup.
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Heart you you you always say that that's Boshie.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
I don't believe in it, but if I can charge
for it, I might be in a lot.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Of psychotherapy I see here. But you're saying this is
different than counseling, and this is different, but.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
They also they also have breakup.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
They also have breakup not experts, but like therapists, but
they're not real therapists.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Like nobody went to school. But it's like, yeah, so
let's talk it through and then you would.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Tell me, and I would just kind of bounce a
couple of things back and forth with you, and I'm
your breakup coach.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
You know what it is? You know, like some people
have like coaches.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Life coach, yeah, dating coaches, dating coaches, Yeahzach Zach Ruth,
he had a dating coach.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
That dating coaches didn't go to school for that.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Somebody read a couple of things online, watched a couple
of YouTube videos.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
So his body psychotherapy not one of those accepted sciences.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
If a client says they want to get back together
with the X, you write down their name on a
note card and place it onto a chair.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Wait, the person they broke up with? Yes, okay.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
The client then writes down other scenarios such as seeing
someone new, remaining single, et cetera, and places them on
alternative chairs. Then the client sits on one and waits
for a bodily response.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
That's you. Sometimes, Hey, what's happening over there with you? Chief?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Sometimes they don't even need to sit down at all.
The choice of the chair, whether it was cozy or cold,
was the answer for why the card was there.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Do I know what what the card says before I
sit down? Yeah? You placed them?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Oh well, I don't need to sit in a chair.
I can tell you which one. I don't want to
get back with them.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
But it's a little bit of a mind game exactly.
It wasn't about sitting on them. You placed that person
that x's name in a chair that you held for them.
Is it a folding chair?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Or did I give them a comfort chair? Gaming? You know?
Is it a gamer shair? Oh see, that's good. That's
I like that. I like that. So you're into body psychotherapy.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
I have a whole room set up for it. I mean,
if I'm not coaching you, I'm letting you pick a chair.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Oh, here you go. More than fifty percent of the
market is men it's close to sixty percent of men.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
They just don't say anything like chicks will tell you
all day, oh.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
You're and that's exactly what it says. The typical man
reacts opposite when it comes to heartbreak. A lot of
our male clients say we're the first people they've told
thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Instead of women, We're like, oh, I need tell.
Speaker 6 (07:38):
I would love to be a fly on the wall
when the person came in with a doctor's note and
handed it to you, and you say, you got to
get in line behind Diane for that surgery and then
we'll see.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Where am I going. Kristen, had you ever heard of
the men DApp well now, because.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You also haven't been like a long time or broken
up or broken up with someone?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
The draw picture of a heart? Oh what's this one?
Speaker 6 (08:14):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:14):
Right now?
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah? Okay, you and Scott have broken up. He broke
up with you.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I want you to write down inside the heart everything
you love, Marley doesn't.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
Count everything I love about our relationship, or just.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Want you to write down in the heart.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Didn't give me everything you love, not about I didn't
say love about your relationship, which is over, so probably nothing.
But I want you to write down in the heart
everything you love. Okay, what did you write down my cats?
Speaker 2 (08:52):
No, that's okay, that's good.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Keep writing just random things that I write.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Well, you love Scott? Well yeah, but you he broke
up with you. You didn't break up with him.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
Well, yeah, I'm not. I'm not writing that down then, so.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
You don't love you didn't love Scott?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
No?
Speaker 6 (09:07):
Well you you said I couldn't write down by a kid,
but I can write down the one who just dumped me. Okay, Sorry,
y'all are coming after the cats?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Mm hmm. I'm surprised Dian hasn't tried to figure out
where this is going. What else did you write down?
Vander Pump rules, Eric Don Bravo. It's all encompassed APR. No. See, okay,
but that's good. You know what the problem is there? Huh,
you're too needy?
Speaker 5 (09:34):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
What you have? Too much? You're too needy.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Because of what I wrote down?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, because you have all these things that you need
to feel love from too much? To No.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
No, no, you said what do I love?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Right, and the answer should be you know what I
love Jackie. That's it for this exercise? Yes, okay, because
you have the work.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Hockey. My friends, like they would say, I'm way too needy. O.
Speaker 6 (10:05):
God, I'm sorry, sorry, friends, you're beyond bravo. But I
just I wasn't thinking that way.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
No, but they say that people who have who do
love too many things, too needy, maybe a sweeping generalization. Well,
I'm am I not a coach. Did you do any
training other than watching a YouTube video? Where am I going?
(10:30):
Line one? Hi, Yellie in the morning.
Speaker 7 (10:33):
Hey Ellie, Yeah, Hey, good morning. Love you guys show
you got to me my morning every day.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Thank you very kind.
Speaker 7 (10:40):
Do you guys know yeah, you guys know what. Host
clubs are not really popular in America, but like in
Asian countries.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Host clubs, I'm not familiar.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Yeah, so, I mean they're not directly in the business
of breakups, but a lot of lonely people go to
these places and they're kind of like need cafes where
you have, you know, a bunch of beautiful girls serving you,
just talking with you.
Speaker 7 (11:03):
Nothing you know, sexual, but you know something.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Maybe like an affectionate touch on the arm, right, And
those are very popular, and I mean popular.
Speaker 7 (11:11):
In America, but I could see that being a booming business.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Hey, when's the last time. When's the last time? When's
the last time you had a bad?
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Like, I don't even want to call it a bad breakup,
just a breakup.
Speaker 7 (11:22):
Oh man, my ex fiance and I broke up maybe
like two years ago, and I'm still riding that wave.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Are you really?
Speaker 7 (11:30):
Yeah, everyone's like it over it, But I don't know.
We were together for like seven years.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
We bought a house together.
Speaker 7 (11:35):
It was messy.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
What is the can I can I ask what led
to the breakup?
Speaker 7 (11:42):
I guess it's I mean, we both need some mistakes.
We'll say you that cheating, trying a couple of counselings
for a year wasn't working out. And uh yeah, and
just by.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
The way, that's the other thing. That's the other thing.
But the the I can't remember what it's called. But
they have like these these these these like reconciliation programs
and stuff like that that people spend a crap ton.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Of money on. No, Oh, you're in the business of
break up, right.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Yeah, I don't want break fix No, Hey, what is
the So you did couples counseling? And when did you
guys decide that like this ain't this ain't gonna be
for us.
Speaker 7 (12:27):
Oh maybe like a year into it. Ultimately, I mean,
like I forgive her for what she did, but she
just said she couldn't forgive me for what I did
and said you couldn't see me any other way. So
after a year i'd be yeah, I know, yeah, a
lot of money out of pocket.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I'd be so angry.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Maybe that'll help me get over it.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Just be really bitter.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Ye.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
No, but why can't you be Why can't you be angry?
Speaker 7 (12:54):
Oh no, I would have to forgive you know, you
leave that in you like a splinter. You know it'll
get and then I think it'd be a miserable brick
for the rest of your life.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
You know.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Okay, well then, but by the sound of it, this
is called tough love. You're gonna the only thing you're
gonna hood the rest of your life is a tree.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
The like that's all.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
That's all, like like crystal crap, the no no no,
But and I don't mean get over it, like I
get it.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
The heart hurts a little bit. It takes a little
bit of time. You got the mean trainer.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
No no, no, but you can't like you could be angry,
like what what what's what's unhealthy about that.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
No, yeah, I think I've gone through that feed already.
It's kind of like a great I don't know, so,
you know, they say, I'll get some long dive. You
have like different fees into the breakup. You have fees
that you know you have to though.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Have you dated yet?
Speaker 7 (13:45):
Oh you're in there? Nothing serious.
Speaker 6 (13:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (13:47):
I'm a hopeless romantic. I don't like to casually be.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Like we're getting old now, Oh how old are you?
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Uh?
Speaker 7 (13:56):
Thirty four?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Next week? By the way, can I just let me
set him up with Casey? Seriously? Seriously?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
What is the no?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
No, but you know what I mean, like you you like, listen,
I get it. Everybody says they're a hopeless romantic. But
sometimes to get there, I mean, you also do some
freaky stuff too.
Speaker 7 (14:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Yeah, let's celebrate the turtles swimming freely in the ocean
and not wonder how it got there.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Oh my god, a tree, Say hi to tree.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
That's Clint Smith. By the way, I'm gonna give as
a poet. I didn't come up with that, oh no.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
But by the way, in the thing that I saw,
there are a lot of people that try to read
poetry and write poetry.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Well, I had a question about your practice, because one,
it sounds like you're giving away the milk for free
to this guy.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Right, but you still know how because make money.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
We are but I do I feel bad for this
guy and I'm not. Don't don't confuse that with I
pity you. Are you doing injections? Pardon me?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Are you doing injections? What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
It says that there's a lot of stuff that does
not require FDA approval that you can do when it
comes to trying to treat the breakup with medicine, Like
what kind of medicine?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Though? So this one guy is.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
He is doing a is it's ketamin a stellate ganglion block?
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I just do mushrooms. That sounds legit. Why don't you
just microdose?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
So injecting two locals near the nerves in the person's neck.
Within minutes, these patients who are suffering through a breakup
will feel rumination begin to subside and the infinite loop
of what did I do wrong?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Can't we just smoke weeds?
Speaker 5 (15:46):
I'm here tripping?
Speaker 6 (15:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (15:51):
Then you just start introspecting thinking what did I do wrong?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
That's a good point too, though.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
That's a good but I don't want to get lost
in myself and all of a sudden, I'm looking at
me like I'm walking on my doormat self.
Speaker 7 (16:02):
I've been down that road. I'm calling into you guys
right now.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
He no, but you know what I mean, Like I
want you like two years, that's a long time.
Speaker 7 (16:16):
It is.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Yeah, she had a he had a daughter from a
previous relationship.
Speaker 7 (16:21):
And yeah, we just had a house. We lived together
for so long it felt like we were married. You know,
we were engaged for a few years.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Can I ask you this? Can I ask you this?
Who got the house?
Speaker 7 (16:32):
I need it for her because a big reason was
for the school district, for the kid I know who.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
No, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you what. First of all, not.
Speaker 6 (16:44):
Your kid, that's what. But that's what it sounds like
it was, though, who say again? He sounds as though
it was What's I mean? Raised as though it was no,
not anymore.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
It was like a being a dad.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
It was great, But it's not your kid anymore. How
much time you spend with that kid?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Now?
Speaker 7 (17:09):
Oh, I mean, she doesn't want to see me anymore
at all. I still send her stuff. You know, on
her birthday we already got you know, when I met her,
her daughter was she just turned three, and then when
we broke up, she was like nine, so like a
big part of her life.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah, in the grand scheme of things, it's not that much.
How much money you're saying.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I know, I know, no, no, and I listen. It's
good that she had a good male role model. But
at the end of the day, that's done.
Speaker 7 (17:37):
Yeah, I'm not good at this.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I'm not good.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
I would say, No.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I haven't fitted you figured out my niece yet.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
No.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
But are you am I the only one who feels
badly for this guy? Well, don't you feel badly for
anyone who's about a breakout?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
No, there are some people that are just people who
deserve to be broken up with, who were like bad. Like,
can I ask you this, do you feel like do
you feel like when you went through this couple's therapy
do you feel like at the end she wasn't really
trying to reconcile, but she was just kind of just
going through the through the motions.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, then here was a.
Speaker 7 (18:11):
Comfortability thing you dedn't even just like being in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Then so you made me spend all that money to
go through something that you didn't even want to fix
at the end.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Well, yeah, I'm not I know. I am not sympathetic there.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Elliott says, you got to find that bitter the.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Nothing wrong with bitder? Hey are you on the men?
Speaker 7 (18:33):
Dap?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
No good, I'm starting my own uh at bitter men
bitter man?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
All right, dude, Hey, best to what you want me
to see? You want me to see if Casey will
go out with you.
Speaker 7 (18:50):
I'm far from the DC area on Long Island, but I.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Appreciate it doesn't matter. Case he'll drive a thousand miles.
All right, Hold tight one second, Hold on one second.
I like him though. Two things.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Yes, One for our nerve block, we don't accept insurance.
I thought that's cheap, that's important.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
It's not. It says it cost thousands of dollars. Wait
for a nerve block. Don't you get a nerve.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
FDA approved?
Speaker 6 (19:16):
This isn't you getting like propofol, getting like a psychedelic
give keddemy?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Also like, I feel as if our office would be
right next to the dispensary that magic shop. And two
I did blow the quote, why would we concern ourselves
with how the turtle arrived in the water, when we
could simply celebrate the fact that it is swimming safely
out at sea. I read that last night and it
(19:42):
was like, what a great morning mindset, It was an
evening mindset. But why did you read that?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
It was a book of poetry recommended to me by
Naomi and Blue Sky. And you're reading a book of poetry.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Actually reading two books at this at this time, watch
ESPN with my goggles.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Wait learning too, Hi Elliott the morning. Hello, Yeah, Hi,
who's this? Hi?
Speaker 8 (20:16):
My name is Sam.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Yes, the doctor is in Sorry, I'm not a doctor,
I'm a coach.
Speaker 8 (20:23):
So a week before Thanksgiving, my husband of twelve years
and two kids told me that he met a girl
and he fell in love with her and it's no
longer in love.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
With me, and you broke up.
Speaker 8 (20:38):
We're separated. She doesn't want to divorce yet because he
wants to keep his benefits because he's in the military.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Right.
Speaker 8 (20:45):
I am leaving with my kids after Christmas and I'm
going back home to Philadelphia.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Okay, Well, can please first and foremost please continue to
listen on the app? Okay them?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Hey, so wait a minute, so I understand.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I understand why he doesn't want to get a divorce
because of the benefits, But what are you gonna do.
Speaker 8 (21:17):
I have to do what I have to do for
my kids. He he is head over heels for this
woman that he met a month ago. She is twenty
two years old. We are in our thirties. Doesn't want
to be your husband anymore. So you know, that's that's
his choice. I mean, in my heartbroken, of course, I
spent twelve years with the guy, and you know, I
uprooted my entire life for him to be in the military.
(21:39):
And you know, it was just, you know, the holiday season,
you know, it's it's like, really, he could just you know,
wait a little bit longer. And we went home to
his family on Thanksgiving because we were going to try
and see if we could, you know, rekindle whatever spark
was there.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
And very hard to do.
Speaker 8 (21:58):
It is very hard, especially the fact that you know
his heart is with another person, and he he ditched us.
He said he was running to the store, and I
found out he met up with a girl halfway and
he spent the rest of Thanksgiving with her his family.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yeah, and you were with her, You're with his family.
Does his family know where he went?
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Uh?
Speaker 8 (22:20):
He told us that he was going to the store
because he wanted to start Black Friday shopping. And then
he didn't come. He ain't come back home long. So
it was around midnight that I realized something was wrong
because he he was going for a few hours, like
my son was getting worried because my son's ten, and
you know, he was worried, where's that? Like, where's that?
(22:41):
And I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah him.
Speaker 8 (22:48):
I called him like five times. He didn't answer, but
then he texted me and said, hey, I'm at a hotel.
I accidentally fell asleep. I met up with the girls.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Just for one second. No, just at least, no, at
least he said where he was. He didn't lie.
Speaker 6 (23:04):
Well congratulations, No, no, no, no, but at least.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
He's real brave VI attacks at least.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yes, he's not a good guy, but I'm at least saying,
at least you know, you know what I mean, Like
I prefer that.
Speaker 6 (23:16):
So she's leaving after she said after the holidays, at.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Least download the app and continue to listen to the show.
There there please the the where's he like? So he's
keeping the house? Has he had sex with this woman.
Speaker 5 (23:30):
Yes, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (23:33):
He didn't tell me, and I personally don't want to know.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Thanks Dian Well, I mean.
Speaker 8 (23:39):
And no, yeah, it's it's it's one of those things
where it's like, you know, obviously it happened. I'm not stupid.
You know you said the night with well, did you sleep?
Now you didn't sleep. Maybe after the fact, but you
didn't sleep the whole time. But I don't know. I
just keep telling myself that, you know, everything is going
to be okay. I have to be okay for my kids,
you know, my son, especially because my daughter is autistic,
(24:03):
so she doesn't really truly understand what is going on,
but my son is. My son is fully aware. And
you know, I'm not bad notting his father. I keep
telling him, like, look, you know, Daddy's not a bad person.
It's just sometimes in life, people make choices and decisions
and we have to respect that. And Daddy made a choice,
and if this is what Daddy wants to do, we
have to respect that, and we have to move on
(24:23):
and move forward. He'll always be your dad, He'll always
love you, and just like you know, I'll always care
about him too, because you know, we we raised a
family together, but as far as us continuing as a couple,
it's not gonna happen. Like we had to have a
sit down top with him yesterday actually and tell him,
you know, what's been going on, and you know, like
mommy and daddy are still gonna work together as a team,
(24:45):
but it's just gonna be a different kind of a team.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
I was gonna say that's good. You know who wouldn't
be good at that, Elliott Siegel?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Not at breakup?
Speaker 8 (24:55):
It was hard, you know, it was really hard, you know,
like I have to be a strong one for my
for my son. You know, like if you know, if
my husband wants to, you know, do like ABC's want
two three with other people, that's fine. I have to
just wear the pants for the both of us. I guess,
like my my kids come first and they will always
come first.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
So go back to another part, are you gonna are
you gonna get divorced or are you gonna are you gonna
hang through for the benefits?
Speaker 8 (25:22):
Well, I mean I personally just want to rip the
bandit off and I just want to call it a divorce,
but he's asking me not to. He wants to wait
and personally, I feel like it's because he wants his cake.
He wants to eat it too, and I'm not about that. Sure,
you know, it's like you made this choice. He made
this decision like you made. You made the choice of
(25:44):
stepping out of our marriage to meet another person, like
you follows through with it like that. That's your choice.
Now I have to do what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Do you have any interest in a man from Long
Island who has.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Experience, experience with kids? This guy would be great. I
put the two of you together.
Speaker 8 (26:00):
And he thought that much older than me, So hey, yeah,
put that done.
Speaker 7 (26:04):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Also the other thing, when you're in Philly, go to
Dallas Sandro's. They got no they have great cheese steaks.
They do.
Speaker 8 (26:11):
Actually I'm from South Philly.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Oh there you go. Very wow, very good, good, good good.
It's almost like you and I are getting together. All right?
What Diana? What I just really badly for her?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I do too.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
I do too.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
I wouldn't.
Speaker 6 (26:25):
I would not acquiesce any You say that now, you
say that of his request?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
You say that now the holiday season, now this season,
and by the way, it took.
Speaker 8 (26:36):
A good while to get to where I'm at. Because
I mean at first when it hit when it hit me, yeah,
of course, it was just because I am a thought
it was a sick joke, and I just looked at
him and I started to laugh and I was like no.
I was like, nah, like, there's no because we've been
together for twelve years, like like we're thirty, so we've
(26:57):
been together since you know, we were we were kids. No,
like we were young when we got together, and we
even dated back in high school fifteen years all together,
Like we've been together, but we've been married for twelve wow,
and I must He said I met somebody, I'm in
love with them, and I was like, yeah, right, like
to your mom period. I date it into a joke
(27:26):
because I was like, there's no, there's no way, like
you don't even talk to people. But then I found
out it's a girl that he is in the military with.
She's twenty two years old, and he was like, I'm
in love with her, and I don't think I'm in
love with you anymore. I'm like, okay, all right, so
that that's what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Wow, that's a lot going on.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
So wait, So between now and in the beginning of
the year, when you when you head back to Philly.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Are you two still living together right now?
Speaker 8 (27:52):
So? Right now, yes, we are living together. He has
the bedroom now, yeah, so he's I'm on up on
the couch, which is kind of weird. Like his family
even told me, They're like, why aren't you giving him
the couch? And why don't you have the bed? I said,
because I don't want anything associated with him. I can't
lay in the bed knowing that someone betrayed me so
hard has laid in that same bed.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
You are so much of a better person than I am,
or I would just be upstairs.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
I'd be upstairs farting on his pillow or something that's mature.
Speaker 8 (28:21):
Elliott. His mom gave me, how about it? Like his
own mother was like, no, like kick him out of
the room, like kick him out of the house, send
him back to the barracks. And I was like, but
what what would that say about me? Like if he
wants to be ugly, I'm not going to equally make
myself as ugly as he is. I'm going to be
the better person.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
When they go low, I go lower.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Absolutely all right, very good, hold on old, Yeah, no,
that that that exactly all right? Very good, hold on
one second, Hold on one second, that's horrible.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Oh the story, yeah, oh I love her better. Download
the app. Re sponse is just incredible, though, what.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Do you mean her response? Yes, oh, she's she's much
more mature than I.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Am, to a level of not just wanting to be civil,
but to not even match it with a measured reaction.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
It's just I need to keep by the way. I
bet that pisses him off. My children first, yeah and foremost.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yeah, No, she's a much better person than I am.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
And I'm happy to hear that. The in law is Yeah, well,
what are they gonna say.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Oh, there's plenty of in laws that don't side with
the one doesn't.
Speaker 5 (29:42):
Yeah, They're like, it doesn't matter. It's my kid.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, yeah, it's my kid. And you know she is
twenty two. What did you do?
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (29:50):
Okay, would that wouldn't be me young? AND's gonna dump him.
She'll get the last laugh and do not let him
come crawling back.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
The Okay, all right, all right, that's part of my
being a life coach.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Break up coach. Try men feel like men wouldn't work. See,
but I'm already in it. See, I'm already running a business.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Eric can't believe she's from South Philly because she's so
like calm and even Field
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