May 21, 2025 • 10 mins
A P1 emailed us about a situation they have with their friend asking them to constantly watch their kid but offering no compensation
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
So this is a little bit of a sticky situation
this guy is in and it all has to do
with I guess babysitting kind of. We got an email
from p one that says, hey, show you guys are
the best, so true, and I'm hoping you can help
me out with the situation I'm in. I didn't think
i'd ever right in, but when I was wondering what
(00:21):
to do about this, I remember to ask you, guys,
it's a genius moves. My friend and his wife have
a four year old son. He's a cute kid and
fun to be around. His parents saw that I was
really good with him and that he liked and trusted me.
So once Saturday a few months ago, they asked if
I could help them out and watch them for a
little bit. That day, I said sure, went over there
(00:43):
and the kid and I had a fun day. Since then,
they've asked me almost weekly if I could either pop
by and sit with him for a few hours or
take him for the day. At this point, I feel
like they're using me as their nanny, and like should
be Hey, it should be a paying gig. We are
close friends, but I can't help but feel like I'm
(01:05):
being sort of used. My question is should I say
something and ask them to start paying me to be
their sitter. I hope you guys can help me. Love
you guys, p One jeff Ooh oh man, this is tough.
I don't know. What do you think, Emily? What would
you do if you were in this situation?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:21):
God, they're putting you in such an awkward situation because
I would feel so weird asking a friend for money.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
But I don't think.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I think you just kind of got to say to them, hey, listen,
I don't really have you have to use it, come
up with an excuse, say I don't really have the
time to be doing this as often as you guys
are asking me to.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Can't you just say I'm not available and then keep saying, oh,
I can I have this? I can't I have this?
And then they'll sort of get the hints yeah, you
know what I mean. That's you got to stop saying yes.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yes, that's probably the best way to do it. You know,
I think that's so crazy to ask them for money.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
It is and it isn't, you know. I mean, if
if you are willing to do it, you should be.
It's kind of weird that they're not offering to pay
the guy either. Yeah, Like there's a lot of things
that I don't understand.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
Here because we've we've had we took advantage of a
lot of people, right, I mean, no, no, I have it.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
Yeah, probably hard it was to find somebody to watch.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
It wasn't hard to find somebody to watch. It was
hard hard to find somebody to stay, to stay and
watch them. We used to have to have nanny's often
because we work so early, like I've always worked in
morning radio and Robert's works construction, and so we had
a girlfriend come and do it for a while. She
took two days a week, and of course I paid her.
It's a paying gig for somebody to watch your kid regularly.
(02:40):
Obviously she was a friend, and she was a friend. Yeah,
So I mean, but I guess those expectations were set
up ahead of time. Yeah, so that's the difference.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
But sky remember when your mom used to charge you
to watch your daughter.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah, I don't find this wild, and we can't just
go no, I know, I know that's the whole point.
So crazy, Like if you would have asked me this
question prior to what my mom did, I would have
been like, oh, that's weird.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
I don't know, but I mean, after what so had
our daughter.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
My husband a stay at home father, but he had
never had been around a baby before. Ever, turns out
was a little bit harder on him than he anticipated.
And then when I would get home from work, I'd
be exhausted. And my mom lived ten minutes down the road.
So the thought was, hey, Mom, could you help a
(03:33):
couple times a week relieve relieve the hobby.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
You know, I can come home, take a nap.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
You need a mommy day.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, he needed a day, and so we set that up.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
And that is when she said, Okay, well, since I'm
going to be doing this regularly, I think it's fair
for you to compensate me for my time.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
That's one of the crazier things I've ever heard, Grandpa,
and also explains so much.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Like it explains so much.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
I was so confused, Like in three days a week, I.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
Think it was two, say are you out of your mind?
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I would have just said, but you're the grandparent parents, yeah, because.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
And then I would have told my mom too.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
I can't imagine my parents doing this, but I would
have said, well, then you're not watching them then, and
I would have did that pissed.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, well, I figured it was better than paying a
stranger because at that point I was going to have
to pay somebody. But in my mind, I thought, oh,
when you have a kid, the grandparent, like you're going
to have to kick them out of the house, like
leave us alone.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
It depends on the grandparents.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
I guess it does. It's not what happens.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
I get.
Speaker 6 (04:37):
I get some grandparents aren't like that, Like my parents
aren't like that.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
They come to my sisters.
Speaker 6 (04:42):
They're going to come visit me every once in a while,
But like, I can't imagine my family charging me, Like
that's that's one of the crazier things. I actually want
to give you a hug, Like, that's one of the
craziest things I've ever heard.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Did your mom have to Like did she have a
job at all or was she tired?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
She was already retired of them, but a lot of
activities like you, I don't think you should because my
dad was working. My dad was working at home depot
at the time and great customer service. Turns out he
wasn't the best to the customers, and so they ways
somebody would ask him, ask him where the electrical tape
(05:22):
was and he'd tell him to go f themselves.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
So maybe that wasn't that wasn't the probably not the best.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
My sister, my sister, when he got let go of
that job, she offered to pay him to watch my
niece because he needs no because he needed the money.
He needed that his job, she was going to pay
somebody else, so she paid them.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
She paid him.
Speaker 6 (05:45):
Okay, I could kind of wrap my mind around that.
But like if my parents are retired, so similar situation.
They live in Florida, they're going to come out here
and they're going to help us.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Like my my parents basically raised my niece because no,
well she's a garbage human, but she didn't. She you know,
basically just gave him my parents and my parents has
raised her.
Speaker 6 (06:09):
Wow, but that's wild too, right, I mean, yeah, that's
the other street that's wild. The other like that's wild too.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, So this guy asking for money doesn't quite.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Fast as mess, don't mess.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
They also charged guy interest on a loan. They offered
her her first house.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
So much sends me a spreadsheet? Come tax deep.
Speaker 6 (06:35):
Therapy interest, You gotta have some deep therapy. Like that's
some stuff. You got a deep dive into a PhD.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
A friend in this situation, if you're you know what,
how do you handle it?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I I agree with you, Eddie, because well it depends
does the guy need the money? Does he like the
time with the kid? If he does, then then bring
it up and just say just like maybe.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Get to do it.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Yeah, punch him in the face with it, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Maybe.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I always like a good white lie of like, hey,
I've been offered you know, I do like, oh, I've
been offered some overtime at work. I could kind of
use the money, but really I like spending time with Johnny.
So like if you guys, if you guys, could you know,
compensate me for my babysitting hours, then that would be awesome.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
And just see what happens.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Or if you're not really into it at all and
you just think you're being nice and hooking them up,
and do what you said Eddie, and just oh I'm busy.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
I wish I could, but I'm busy, and just.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Don't take advantage to me, like like you want to
drop a little walker off, you know, I'll watch him
every once in a while, but but yeah, not weekly.
Speaker 6 (07:46):
So that's the thing, right, So like my my mother
in law helps out at my brother in law, but
they're newborn twice a week. Doesn't charge, doesn't charge us.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Doesn't real you know about the limps? I hope not.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
She not listening serious?
Speaker 6 (08:01):
So if and if, but if we had that, I
would assume that's what. So my sister has already offered
to come out here and help us for a couple
of weeks at one point, my parents too. Because we
have no family. So I would think like I think,
like that's nice. But if somebody, if I had, I
have a couple of buddies who have babies, if they
asked me and Haley to watch their kid, I would
do it. If it became like a consistent thing every week,
(08:22):
every every week, I would be like, I'd be like, so,
am I just like the babysitter now? And I would
bring it up because that's annoying because I would never
do that.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
You also are a lot more blunt yeah friends than
other people are.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
We have we have. I don't know if I would
charge my son.
Speaker 6 (08:40):
We have we have people that watch our dogs and
we pay them no matter what to watch our dogs.
But I know some people will be like, can you
watch our dog and then act like no one's gonna
say anything about payments. If I had somebody like Haley's
friend watches our dogs. If we were like, hey, can
you watch our son twice or three times a week,
we'd be like, I would immediately go, we'll pay you. Yeah,
if we're doing that, well, that's a job. But to me,
(09:03):
this guy's trying to take advantage of his buddy. You
think so one hundred percent? One hundred percent, So then
how do you get out of it? I would bring
it up. You just say I would bring it up
one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Okay, So you say to them one of my other babysitter,
Now you're like, oh no, I was just you know,
I thought you were having a good time with little Johnny.
Speaker 6 (09:18):
So I definitely am. But if I'm gonna but I
got you know, I got stuff going on. I don't
have a kid.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I know you don't really have anything.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
I don't, but but my own but my private time
is is quality quality. So how much much the So
i'd like you maybe in the future from now on,
I start getting.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
Paid a little bit. We're not friends, I mean, we're
not friends.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I got who who?
Speaker 5 (09:40):
I have one more question, asked Gott Scott. Did your
mother charge your brother?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
She didn't watch we live too far away or something
mirror Mesa.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
I mean she didn't she live up in North.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah, we were, we were both in North Kuinta. She
was in San Marcos at the time. But no, yeah
she was. She was never what was considered a charge
and a hangout like if she with the grandchild. Yeah,
probably came over and did a tea party with Loveland.
Did she go to you hey left.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
The bill.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
And then she wanted a tip for the tea party.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I think anything that was regularly scheduled, like a routine,
that's work.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
But anything that's like.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Oh, you guys want a date night or oh, you know,
can I take her to the park, Like that's just
a random one off.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
That's a freebie, a freebie. You may something later, but
that's a freebe.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
The crazy thing is Emily's mom would watch read and
then pay Emily happened.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
So when she'd come over for like your daughter's birthday party,
would she leave a bill?
Speaker 6 (10:46):
Luckily, she'd want to get you to hear like a
Christmas bonus tip.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard, or
cannot get over that
So this is a little bit of a sticky situation
this guy is in and it all has to do
with I guess babysitting kind of. We got an email
from p one that says, hey, show you guys are
the best, so true, and I'm hoping you can help
me out with the situation I'm in. I didn't think
i'd ever right in, but when I was wondering what
(00:21):
to do about this, I remember to ask you, guys,
it's a genius moves. My friend and his wife have
a four year old son. He's a cute kid and
fun to be around. His parents saw that I was
really good with him and that he liked and trusted me.
So once Saturday a few months ago, they asked if
I could help them out and watch them for a
little bit. That day, I said sure, went over there
(00:43):
and the kid and I had a fun day. Since then,
they've asked me almost weekly if I could either pop
by and sit with him for a few hours or
take him for the day. At this point, I feel
like they're using me as their nanny, and like should
be Hey, it should be a paying gig. We are
close friends, but I can't help but feel like I'm
(01:05):
being sort of used. My question is should I say
something and ask them to start paying me to be
their sitter. I hope you guys can help me. Love
you guys, p One jeff Ooh oh man, this is tough.
I don't know. What do you think, Emily? What would
you do if you were in this situation?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:21):
God, they're putting you in such an awkward situation because
I would feel so weird asking a friend for money.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
But I don't think.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I think you just kind of got to say to them, hey, listen,
I don't really have you have to use it, come
up with an excuse, say I don't really have the
time to be doing this as often as you guys
are asking me to.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Can't you just say I'm not available and then keep saying, oh,
I can I have this? I can't I have this?
And then they'll sort of get the hints yeah, you
know what I mean. That's you got to stop saying yes.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yes, that's probably the best way to do it. You know,
I think that's so crazy to ask them for money.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
It is and it isn't, you know. I mean, if
if you are willing to do it, you should be.
It's kind of weird that they're not offering to pay
the guy either. Yeah, Like there's a lot of things
that I don't understand.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
Here because we've we've had we took advantage of a
lot of people, right, I mean, no, no, I have it.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
Yeah, probably hard it was to find somebody to watch.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
It wasn't hard to find somebody to watch. It was
hard hard to find somebody to stay, to stay and
watch them. We used to have to have nanny's often
because we work so early, like I've always worked in
morning radio and Robert's works construction, and so we had
a girlfriend come and do it for a while. She
took two days a week, and of course I paid her.
It's a paying gig for somebody to watch your kid regularly.
(02:40):
Obviously she was a friend, and she was a friend. Yeah,
So I mean, but I guess those expectations were set
up ahead of time. Yeah, so that's the difference.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
But sky remember when your mom used to charge you
to watch your daughter.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah, I don't find this wild, and we can't just
go no, I know, I know that's the whole point.
So crazy, Like if you would have asked me this
question prior to what my mom did, I would have
been like, oh, that's weird.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
I don't know, but I mean, after what so had
our daughter.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
My husband a stay at home father, but he had
never had been around a baby before. Ever, turns out
was a little bit harder on him than he anticipated.
And then when I would get home from work, I'd
be exhausted. And my mom lived ten minutes down the road.
So the thought was, hey, Mom, could you help a
(03:33):
couple times a week relieve relieve the hobby.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
You know, I can come home, take a nap.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
You need a mommy day.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, he needed a day, and so we set that up.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
And that is when she said, Okay, well, since I'm
going to be doing this regularly, I think it's fair
for you to compensate me for my time.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
That's one of the crazier things I've ever heard, Grandpa,
and also explains so much.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Like it explains so much.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
I was so confused, Like in three days a week, I.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
Think it was two, say are you out of your mind?
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I would have just said, but you're the grandparent parents, yeah, because.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
And then I would have told my mom too.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
I can't imagine my parents doing this, but I would
have said, well, then you're not watching them then, and
I would have did that pissed.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, well, I figured it was better than paying a
stranger because at that point I was going to have
to pay somebody. But in my mind, I thought, oh,
when you have a kid, the grandparent, like you're going
to have to kick them out of the house, like
leave us alone.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
It depends on the grandparents.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
I guess it does. It's not what happens.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
I get.
Speaker 6 (04:37):
I get some grandparents aren't like that, Like my parents
aren't like that.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
They come to my sisters.
Speaker 6 (04:42):
They're going to come visit me every once in a while,
But like, I can't imagine my family charging me, Like
that's that's one of the crazier things. I actually want
to give you a hug, Like, that's one of the
craziest things I've ever heard.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Did your mom have to Like did she have a
job at all or was she tired?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
She was already retired of them, but a lot of
activities like you, I don't think you should because my
dad was working. My dad was working at home depot
at the time and great customer service. Turns out he
wasn't the best to the customers, and so they ways
somebody would ask him, ask him where the electrical tape
(05:22):
was and he'd tell him to go f themselves.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
So maybe that wasn't that wasn't the probably not the best.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
My sister, my sister, when he got let go of
that job, she offered to pay him to watch my
niece because he needs no because he needed the money.
He needed that his job, she was going to pay
somebody else, so she paid them.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
She paid him.
Speaker 6 (05:45):
Okay, I could kind of wrap my mind around that.
But like if my parents are retired, so similar situation.
They live in Florida, they're going to come out here
and they're going to help us.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Like my my parents basically raised my niece because no,
well she's a garbage human, but she didn't. She you know,
basically just gave him my parents and my parents has
raised her.
Speaker 6 (06:09):
Wow, but that's wild too, right, I mean, yeah, that's
the other street that's wild. The other like that's wild too.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, So this guy asking for money doesn't quite.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Fast as mess, don't mess.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
They also charged guy interest on a loan. They offered
her her first house.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
So much sends me a spreadsheet? Come tax deep.
Speaker 6 (06:35):
Therapy interest, You gotta have some deep therapy. Like that's
some stuff. You got a deep dive into a PhD.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
A friend in this situation, if you're you know what,
how do you handle it?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I I agree with you, Eddie, because well it depends
does the guy need the money? Does he like the
time with the kid? If he does, then then bring
it up and just say just like maybe.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Get to do it.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Yeah, punch him in the face with it, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Maybe.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I always like a good white lie of like, hey,
I've been offered you know, I do like, oh, I've
been offered some overtime at work. I could kind of
use the money, but really I like spending time with Johnny.
So like if you guys, if you guys, could you know,
compensate me for my babysitting hours, then that would be awesome.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
And just see what happens.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Or if you're not really into it at all and
you just think you're being nice and hooking them up,
and do what you said Eddie, and just oh I'm busy.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
I wish I could, but I'm busy, and just.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Don't take advantage to me, like like you want to
drop a little walker off, you know, I'll watch him
every once in a while, but but yeah, not weekly.
Speaker 6 (07:46):
So that's the thing, right, So like my my mother
in law helps out at my brother in law, but
they're newborn twice a week. Doesn't charge, doesn't charge us.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Doesn't real you know about the limps? I hope not.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
She not listening serious?
Speaker 6 (08:01):
So if and if, but if we had that, I
would assume that's what. So my sister has already offered
to come out here and help us for a couple
of weeks at one point, my parents too. Because we
have no family. So I would think like I think,
like that's nice. But if somebody, if I had, I
have a couple of buddies who have babies, if they
asked me and Haley to watch their kid, I would
do it. If it became like a consistent thing every week,
(08:22):
every every week, I would be like, I'd be like, so,
am I just like the babysitter now? And I would
bring it up because that's annoying because I would never
do that.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
You also are a lot more blunt yeah friends than
other people are.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
We have we have. I don't know if I would
charge my son.
Speaker 6 (08:40):
We have we have people that watch our dogs and
we pay them no matter what to watch our dogs.
But I know some people will be like, can you
watch our dog and then act like no one's gonna
say anything about payments. If I had somebody like Haley's
friend watches our dogs. If we were like, hey, can
you watch our son twice or three times a week,
we'd be like, I would immediately go, we'll pay you. Yeah,
if we're doing that, well, that's a job. But to me,
(09:03):
this guy's trying to take advantage of his buddy. You
think so one hundred percent? One hundred percent, So then
how do you get out of it? I would bring
it up. You just say I would bring it up
one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Okay, So you say to them one of my other babysitter,
Now you're like, oh no, I was just you know,
I thought you were having a good time with little Johnny.
Speaker 6 (09:18):
So I definitely am. But if I'm gonna but I
got you know, I got stuff going on. I don't
have a kid.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I know you don't really have anything.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
I don't, but but my own but my private time
is is quality quality. So how much much the So
i'd like you maybe in the future from now on,
I start getting.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
Paid a little bit. We're not friends, I mean, we're
not friends.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I got who who?
Speaker 5 (09:40):
I have one more question, asked Gott Scott. Did your
mother charge your brother?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
She didn't watch we live too far away or something
mirror Mesa.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
I mean she didn't she live up in North.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah, we were, we were both in North Kuinta. She
was in San Marcos at the time. But no, yeah
she was. She was never what was considered a charge
and a hangout like if she with the grandchild. Yeah,
probably came over and did a tea party with Loveland.
Did she go to you hey left.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
The bill.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
And then she wanted a tip for the tea party.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I think anything that was regularly scheduled, like a routine,
that's work.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
But anything that's like.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Oh, you guys want a date night or oh, you know,
can I take her to the park, Like that's just
a random one off.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
That's a freebie, a freebie. You may something later, but
that's a freebe.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
The crazy thing is Emily's mom would watch read and
then pay Emily happened.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
So when she'd come over for like your daughter's birthday party,
would she leave a bill?
Speaker 6 (10:46):
Luckily, she'd want to get you to hear like a
Christmas bonus tip.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard, or
cannot get over that
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