Modern Love

Elizabeth and Jeff were best friends. They did everything together, from early-morning runs to late-night karaoke sessions. They came up with secret code names for each other and went on undercover missions in their neighborhood. They fought, and made up, and fought some more.

Beneath their playful dynamic, an attraction was growing between them, but Elizabeth never wanted to risk the friendship by exploring it. Then Jeff got sick,...

Growing up, Julian Brave NoiseCat’s father, Ed Archie NoiseCat, wasn’t around much. Other than the occasional ride to hockey practice from his dad, Julian mostly remembers the legends about him. Ed is an artist, famous for his wood carvings and larger-than-life stories. Julian remembers seeing him on the cover of Native Peoples magazine and hearing about his escapades driving across the country. What Julian could never ...

Laverne Cox never fit in as a child in Mobile, Ala. But she really didn’t want to. From an early age, she knew she was going to be a star, and she was right. Decades later, Cox would break through as Sophia Burset on Netflix’s “Orange Is the New Black,” and become the first openly transgender person to be nominated for an Emmy Award in an acting category. 

In this episode of “Modern Love,” C...

Joseph Osmundson spent years joking about having a baby with his best friend. But one day, she told Joe she was serious about it. Joe was elated. Growing up, he had always wanted to be a father, but he didn’t realize how deep that yearning was until the moment their joke became a concrete plan.

At the time, Joe had a boyfriend he loved and his best friend was partnered with a woman. It took time, effort, and countless meeting...

Mark Duplass and Katie Aselton’s lives are completely intertwined. They’ve been married for almost 20 years while collaborating on films, raising children and spending as much time together as possible. The two see the same therapist, are nearly constantly touching each other and find it hard to function when one of them is away, a dynamic they describe as codependent.

Their codependency is the inspiration for their new...

Lauren Bans was seven months pregnant when she realized she needed a divorce. Suddenly, she found herself heartbroken, terrified, and completely unable to make decisions or think about the future.

One day, her sister suggested they visit an escape room. As the door locked and the countdown began, Bans found herself enraptured by the puzzles, forgetting her reality for a moment and feeling like herself again. She was hooked and went...

When people stop Ramy Youssef on the street, it's usually not because they're mega-fans of his comedy. Instead, they mostly just want to pet his dog. It's not until they walk away, he says, that they recognize him from his semiautobiographical sitcom, "Ramy," or his latest special, "Ramy Youssef: In Love." In fact, Youssef’s dog, Basha, is a big part of the special and has become a major part of his life, even if he does some...

Isabel Allende began writing daily letters to her mother when she was a teenager. Over the next several decades, they exchanged over 24,000 of them. Allende credits their letter writing with removing the need for small talk and creating a deep bond between them. Knowing that she had to write to her mother every day pushed her to pay attention to her life in a way that, she says, was central to her becoming a writer. 

Letters h...

Tracy Clark-Flory was 16 when she learned something that would change her world forever: She had a half sister she’d never met. Tracy's mother, Deborah, had gotten pregnant as a freshman in college. She’d given birth to a baby girl in secret and placed the baby for adoption.

Tracy could tell that talking about this baby made her mom uncomfortable, so she didn’t pry. But from that moment on, Tracy was full of quest...

Ruhama Wolle loves weddings, but after being a bridesmaid three times in a little more than a year, she reached a breaking point. The financial and emotional burden was too much, and in an article for Glamour magazine, she publicly resigned from ever being a bridesmaid again. 

Now, Wolle has written “I Hope You Elope: A Bridesmaid Survival Guide,” with practical tips on how to navigate the ask with authenticity, ho...

On her first day of college, Elizabeth Banks met a cute guy at a party. This was long before her roles in “Pitch Perfect” and “30 Rock.” A lot has changed, but 33 years later Banks is still with that same cute guy. In this episode of “Modern Love,” she tells our host, Anna Martin, about the intense conversations and difficult decisions that have kept her relationship alive. And, she reads “...

It was Stefanie and Jonathan’s worst nightmare: Jonathan’s depression had become so severe he was begging to be taken to the hospital. Stefanie took him to the hospital and then took care of everything else for the family. When she married Jonathan years earlier, Stefanie knew about his mental health struggles. But she wasn’t prepared for this moment. Then, Stefanie fell apart too — and it was Jonathan&rsquo...

In their buzzy new film, “The Drama,” Zendaya and Robert Pattinson play an engaged couple whose relationship is imploding. With their wedding just a week away, Emma (Zendaya) reveals a shocking secret about her past that sends her fiancé, Charlie (Pattinson), into a self-destructive spiral of doubt.

The stakes are high for these fictional lovers, but the underlying relationship anxiety is relatable: What if you don&rsqu...

This week, we have an update to one of our favorite interviews from last year.

When Jacob Hoff and Samantha Greenstone met, they became instant best friends. Then, even though Jacob was gay, they realized that their feelings for each other were evolving beyond the platonic, and they decided to give romance a try.

On this episode, Hoff and Greenstone tell Anna Martin, host of “Modern Love,” how their love gave him the co...

When Joan Price's husband died, her grief left her feeling alienated from her body. She was numb. She couldn’t have orgasms. Her sex drive disappeared. Joan understood better than most people the importance of a fulfilling sex life; as a sex educator for older adults, she centered her work around pleasure and desire.

So, she began the process of rediscovering what it means to feel good after loss. Joan ended up writing a book...

Jessie Buckley is nominated for best actress at the Oscars this weekend, for her performance in the movie “Hamnet.” She plays the wife of William Shakespeare — and a grieving mother — as the couple confronts the loss of their only son. The role has already won her a Golden Globe, a BAFTA and an Actor Award. In a conversation on “The Sunday Daily,” The Times’s chief movie critic, Manohla Dar...

When she was growing up, the writer Lindy West was bombarded with negative messages about being fat. The whole world seemed to think she didn’t deserve love unless she lost weight. In her first book, “Shrill,” West wrote about how hard it was to combat fatphobia within herself, in society and on the internet, where she was attacked by some particularly vicious trolls. By the end of the book, West had found confide...

When Helena de Groot was a child, she pictured an exciting future for herself: living in a big city, getting an apartment with lots of plants, having a creative job and going dancing on the weekends. She never saw becoming a mother as part of that future. When people asked, she told them she didn’t want children. As she grew up, got married and watched her friends become parents, she stood by that decision.

But, deep down, sh...

Julia Stoller loved her dad. But she never wanted to be him. He was a rule follower, he was so serious, and he was so straight. Then, when Julia was in her 20s, she got a phone call that completely changed her idea of who her father was. And as he opened up to her, sharing secrets he had been holding onto for decades, she was finally able to open up to him, too.

This week on “Modern Love,” Anna talks to Julia about what ...