July 24, 2026 • 22 mins
Welcome back to our minisode series, "I Have Some Thoughts." These short episodes are designed to contextualize the pop culture moments we're currently paying attention to through a mental health lens. Pop culture isn't just fun to chat about, it can reveal important information about how we relate, cope, and understand ourselves. Join us each Friday to hear Dr. Joy share her thoughts about the happenings of the week.
This week, we're chatting about Angel Reese and ongoing racism in the WNBA, Brandy being body-shamed, and Latto's response to unsolicited parenting advice.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hey, y'all, Welcome back to the next episode of I
Have Some Thoughts, a weekly podcast minisolo series where we
talk about all things pop culture, but of course from
a mental health lens and I am joined today again
by Bria. Hey, Maria, Hi everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
We have a lot of cool topics to get into today.
The first let's talk about Angel Reese and the WNBA.
I feel like we can never get through a season
without something happening. But the Toronto Temple's head coach Sandy
has been suspended for one game without pay after making
an appropriate comment about the Atlanta Dreams Angel Reese. This
(00:46):
past Friday, the Atlanta dream and Toronto Tempo were playing
in a game. During the first quarter, Nayar, one of
the players, got called for a personal foul against Angel Rees.
Ny are false to the ground in pain and the coach, Sandy,
was very upset about it and during her comments, I
don't know if she forgot she was miked up, but
(01:06):
she called Angel Rees a protected species. Now, obviously there
are a lot of racial undertones throughout that commentary. In
response to the WNBA suspended Sandy for one game, Sandy
did release an apology. Angel Rees has since made a
statement as well, thanking the WNBA for taking action too.
(01:26):
As we all know, this is not the first and
definitely will not be the last instance of racism that
we see within the WNBA. This is honestly just a
very quick glimpse into it, but I think it opened
a broader conversation of why black women athletes, especially in
these women leagues, that they're already kind of you would
(01:47):
almost think that they are having to go through the
struggle of being like a women only sports team, and
they already kind of being compared against the men and
are getting the same resources as the male teams. But
black women specifically have to navigate this layer of excellence
and bias at the same time. So, like, why are
(02:08):
black women's emotions, their confidence, their competitiveness, why is it
interpreted so differently from their peers and women in the league,
but also in men in the league as well.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I agree with you, Ria, because you would think, like
a league that is built by well and I won't
necessarily built by women, right, because we know that the
NBA also has a large part in like all the
things that happen in the WNBA, because it kind of
came out of there but a league that is governed
by women, that is run by women, that is, you know,
built on the backs of black women specifically, Like you
(02:42):
would think that there would be more ground that has
been made in terms of like eliminating bias and really
like centering the needs of the players all of the players,
and sadly that has not been the case. And I
just think it is so unfortunate. Many people have heard
me talk about on the podcast before, I am a
newly converted WNBA fan. I just love all the women's basketball,
(03:05):
and a lot of that actually is dedicated or is
in large part due to Angel Reee. So I really
started following women's basketball when she and the LSU team
won the national championship several years ago. And so Angel
is definitely somebody who I have loved following her journey
and is one of my favorite players. And I definitely
(03:26):
have paid attention to what it feels like just outsized
ignorance and violence and like just racist kinds of behaviors
and thoughts aimed her way, and it really is disgusting.
And I think black women, no matter where we go,
whatever space we show up in, it always feels and
(03:48):
I think that this is accurate that there is this
intense dedication to paying attention to what we're doing and
like policing our tone and our behavior. And we see
so many instances of it in the WNBA, where other
players are able to get away with shouting at reffs,
talking to their coaches any kind of way, like not
(04:09):
exhibiting sportsmanlike behavior, and it's not seen as the same way.
It is just seen as competitiveness, right, and like, oh,
they're fiery. But when it's Angel Reese and other black
women players, there is this undertone of oh, this is
kind of how we expect black women to be. And
so I think, unfortunately, this is just another example of
black women not being able to kind of take up
(04:31):
space and be competitive and want to kind of compete
at such a high level in the same way as
other people, and that not just being seen as what
it is, right, like just a part of the game.
There are all these other implications and insinuations that are
made that have absolutely nothing to do with the actual game.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Absolutely. Yeah. And I mentioned earlier that Sandy did get
suspended for one game. A lot of people are speaking
out saying that that honestly wasn't enough there's this balance
of did you mean what you said, but also what
you said did have implications that were like very racist,
So was that really a proper response to that? But
(05:10):
what do you think from your perspective that it will
take for organizations sports teams to move beyond support in
a way that might be interpreted as performative Because if
the WNBA said nothing, then it would have been bad.
But it's tricky to balance too.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I am please, you know, I'm actually surprised that they
did act so quickly, but I agree with you that
if they didn't like it definitely would have been probably
for our worst. Yeah, not understanding that Sandy is Australian
and so it sounds like there is this term protected
species maybe means something differently maybe culturally for her. But
of course we are in the US, right and especially
(05:48):
when we're looking at the WBA and the fire that
has been led around like race relations, particularly related to
like Caitlyn Clark and all of the other black players, like,
it just feels like things are boiling over at like
a speedy rate right now, and so I think timing
in place is everything right, And so for her to
say something like that, even if culturally, it maybe has
(06:09):
a different connotation for her. In this context, of course,
it is very racist, right, and Angel was offended, and
so I was very pleased that Sandy responded so quickly.
Angel accepted the apology. You know, it definitely feels like
she did the right thing and offered an apology that
was actually meaningful. And then the league did take action.
But again I don't know whether that was right or wrong,
(06:29):
but I'm pleased that they did something and that it
was so swift. I think in order for us to
see more meaningful change, there needs to be more black
women in leadership roles. So another conversation that has been
kind of percolating through the WNBA streets this season is
the lack of black women coaches. So there are no
black women head coaches in the WNBA again, and that
(06:50):
is really difficult to see in a league that is
on the backs of black women, right, like black women
built this right and so to see that there are
there are no black women in leadership positions at the
head coaching role, I think is something that adds to
the nuance and what we're seeing in this situation.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Now.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Nekka gum Lak is the WNBA president, So she's like
the president of the players union. I guess it's what
the WNBPA is, And so I think that that goes
a long way. And I think she is a very
well spoken, like good advocate for the players and she's
still an active player, so her presence goes a long way.
But she really is the only one, right, And so
(07:28):
I think that when we look at the leadership of
the WNBA, there needs to be more black women who
strongly identify as black women, right because we know all
Skinfok and kimbok, right, for people who actually understand like
a black woman's ethic and what it means, especially like
if we just use Angel Reese as an example, right,
like what it might need for a young player to
come in with this level of scrutiny and criticism and
(07:51):
how that impacts their development, Like somebody who really understands
a black woman's plight. I think is really important and
that I think is sorely missing in the WNBA right now,
and it's something that would actually go a long way
I think in navigating these situations better.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
That's so true. I think even like beyond sports, we
stayed often where there's one black person in corporate America
in the room that's like, hey, this won't be received
a certain way, but it's on them that to like
call those things out and then to go against so
many other people whom I think differently. It's definitely something
that I feel like we see kind of across the
board too.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, you raise a good point there, Ria, because it's
not enough to just have them there. People also have
to listen. Ex Like, we don't just need black women
in figureheads faces, we need black women in leadership in
the WNBA who people will actually listen to and whose
voices will be heard for sure.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I agree well. For our next topic, Brandy R and B.
Singer has been facing some body shaming comments. So Brandy
was at the center of an online conversation after a
video circulated of her looking noticeably slimmer, especially like within
her facial area. People began immediately commenting on her appearance,
(09:01):
some of them in very negative ways. A lot of
people were like, oh, maybe there's something wrong with her medically,
or she's been diagnosed with something, just kind of drawing
conclusions that weren't really for people to draw. It didn't
take long for people actually to reflect on a very
similar situation that took back in twenty twenty when people
made very similar comments about Chadwick Boseman he had lost
(09:23):
a lot of weight, especially in his face as well,
and then shortly after he revealed his colon cancer diagnosis,
which we ultimately know is how he passed away. Brandy
has since responded, reminding everyone to remember that the person
that they're commenting on is still a person and to
always leap with kindness. But I think there's a broader
question here of when commenting on people's.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Bodies just became so normalized.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
And I feel like, you know, when you're growing up,
you maybe go to like your mom's house, at your
grandma's house and maybe like, oh, you're gaining weight, excising.
I feel like it was it's kind of normal and
like black households in a way. But I feel like
the Internet is just so amplifying. So from your perspective,
why do people feel so comfortable commenting on other people's
(10:08):
bodies even when they don't really know the person or
what it is that they could be going through.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
You bring up a great point, Brian, I you know
fairly don't know that this is only a black household situation,
because I definitely have heard white women also talk about
like the intense scrutiny they've had from family members in
terms of weight. But it does feel like a familial
kind of thing that has developed that it is okay
to kind of criticize one another, right, Like, so you
are away at college and then you come back and
(10:34):
all the family is like, oh, that freshman facing really
got you, right, like all of those you know, And
I think many of us laughed it off and like
kind of saw that as a normal part of kind
of family interactions. But I think as we have grown
in our understanding of like what it means to relate
to one another and what kinds of things invoke shaming people,
I think we've realized now that it is not okay,
even with family members, like to make comments about that,
(10:57):
because you never know what people's relationship to their weight
is in like those kinds of comments, and it's just
not okay, Like why is it okay to talk about
people's bodies in that way?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
So, if we know that we need to take a
step back, even with our family members and people we
know and have relationships with, it is far more not
okay for us to be doing it publicly online and
so you know your question around like when did this
become normal? I think for a lot of us it
is something that is kind of been normalized in our
families because people have comment it's about our weight and appearance,
(11:29):
and maybe we have also done that. And I think
now that we have the Internet and it feels like
we are also connected though of course not really right,
Like we just had a conversation a couple of weeks
ago about parasocial relationships, and so I think there is
this fallacy that we are more connected and like we
know people online when we really don't. And so, you know,
I think it is normal to notice differences in people, right,
(11:52):
Like if we saw somebody a year ago and now
they look drastically different, I think it is just human
nature to register that difference, like, oh, something looks different.
But I think instead of you know, jumping on X
or threads or Instagram and like sharing these dire tribes
around whatever it is, would that not be better sir?
For like, oh I'm wishing them well either privately or
(12:14):
just in a small group chat, right like with people
who you know, and like, this is not information that
will be shared publicly right, Because again, I don't think
there's anything wrong with noticing a difference. I think the
difficulty and the problematic behavior comes when we feel empowered
and entitled, honestly to go online and like make these
conclusions and create these entire stories that have likely nothing
(12:37):
to do with the reality of what's going on with
especially when people have come out and said I don't
like this, right, like so many celebrities and public figures
have said, like, I feel uncomfortable with this, Like this
doesn't feel good to me, And so we cannot feel
entitled and feel like just because we all can create
a Threads account that it gives us permission to comment
(12:59):
on people's buy bodies and things in ways that people
have said, this does not feel good to me, I'm
not comfortable with this.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Totally agree, and I think that like a lot of
people forget And I've heard this conversation a lot around
for people who want to be like content creators and
all that, like if you might seem like only a
thousand people watch your content, oh my gosh, that's less
than like what I want, per se. I feel like
if a thousand people were to come up to you
in person, like the comments on something, it would feel
(13:27):
so different. So like to think from a celebrities perspective
that they're getting this from like so many different angles,
thousands and thousand people commenting on their physical appearance, it
can't be easy to navigate at all. So just like
keeping that in mind too. But even in our personal lives,
like with our family, our friends, how can we be
(13:48):
more thoughtful about the language that we're using when we
do notice those changes and like way physical appearance. I'm
someone who's like, don't have for comment on way because
you really just never know. It just doesn't feel appropriate
to me personally. Other people might not feel that way.
So how can we just be more thoughtful about the
language that we're you're seeing and when we do notice
these differences?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Mm hmm yeah, I think leading with care and consideration
is a better way to approach these situations, right, So
not necessarily calling attention to like hey, it looks like you,
you know, like ore one hundred pounds smaller than when
I saw you last year, but you know, like, hey,
is everything okay? I haven't seen you in a while,
Like what's going on? Catch me up kind of thing? Right,
And so really like leaning into the relationship that you
(14:31):
have with the person, because hopefully whatever conversation that you're
trying to spark with, whatever comment you're making, it's coming
from a place of like well wished and like, is
there anything I need to do to support you in
a different way, right, as opposed to like judgment and
nosiness right right, Like you know, cause if it's that,
then you probably are better off just keeping the comment
(14:52):
to yourself or you know, get chat without that person.
But if it is like, oh, is this something I
should be concerned about? Or I think leading with hey,
you know, is everything okay? Is there anything I can
do to support you? Will open up a space for
if that person feels comfortable. Now again, they may not
feel comfortable already or whatever to share anything with you,
(15:13):
But I think you going on record kind of coming
from a place of care and concern goes a much
further way and maybe registers differently with the person than hey,
it looks like you are one hundred pounds smaller. That
probably does not register as care.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Totally agree absolutely.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
More from our conversation after the break.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
So for our last topic, we're actually going to go
back to lotto. I feel like we have brought her
up a couple of times on some thoughts, but she's
in the news again because she was recently captured pushing
her newborn and a stroller toward a private jet. Now,
the video quickly made its way to social media, and
people began questioning whether this was a safe way to
(15:54):
be traveling with the baby, whether it was safe for
the baby at all, germs, all that kind of stuff.
Someone commented actually on the video, sharing that no matter
how much money they made in their life, they wouldn't
put their baby at risk like this, and a Loto
actually responded back to them saying, good thing, it's not
your baby. So I think it's kind of like a
(16:15):
double edged sort of like some people online were like
genuinely concerned for the child, but also have to navigate
the fact that that's not your child. So, like, how
and why does motherhood seem to invite so much public scrutiny,
especially from celebrities who are in the public eye too.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah, we have definitely talked about a lot of a
couple of times, which I think is interesting. But I
think given the nature of our podcast and like she's
a new mom, I think there's just been a lot happening,
you know, but it does feel like motherhood is one
of those things that like people just feel like they
have commentary and opinions about either you are a mother,
you've had a mother, right Like, I think the rearing
(16:53):
of children is something that people just feel like, oh,
we all have opinions about, and you know, because it
doesn't come with a manual, right like, there is no
no guidebook around, like how to raise healthy, happy kids. People,
I think, in some ways would think that they are
being helpful right now. Not everybody, right like, you know,
everybody does not have well good intentions. But I think
(17:14):
for the most part, a lot of people are like
offering commentary in the hopes that like it will protect
your child, or like they are offering you something to
kind of help you in your journey as a mother.
But I think for a lot of women, the idea
of motherhood or the state of motherhood already comes with
so much criticism, so much self criticism, that this unsolicited
(17:35):
advice and commentary often just makes moms feel much worse
and shamed, right that, oh my gosh, I did something
and put my baby at jeopardy. I didn't know this.
I think that there's so much pressure that is on
moms that any unsolicited advice just becomes the loud speaker
on some thoughts that are probably already very critical and
(17:55):
so maybe some not helpful ways. And so I think
people think that it's like harmless to offer this commentary.
You see this a lot, especially, I've noticed lots of
different places, but one of the places I've noticed in
most is like with seat belt commentary. Right, Like if
you show your baby in a car seat, like, oh,
I'm about to run to the store, follow me on
my way to the store, there's guaranteed to be somebody
(18:18):
in the comments that says, oh, the baby's buckle needs
to be higher too, you know. And again I think
that is well intentioned, right, because nobody wants to see,
you know, something happening and a child is injured in
a car accident. But again you have to think about,
like how many thoughts moms are already having about am
I doing this right? Am I getting it wrong? And
how you are maybe adding gasoline to the fire when
(18:40):
you're offering this unsolicited commentary. Now, Bria, I also want
to back up though, when you saw this commentary, what
was the concern around the baby being on the private jet.
Was it like, oh, it's jermy, Like what the concern there?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
It was more so about the ears popping. I think
a lot of people were like, she's flying private, so
there's not people around xyz. But apparently it's think about
the ear pressure. I have a lot of grace for
moms because I'm not a mom, and I feel like
I learned something new every day, so I'm like, that
never would have even occurred to me. But something about
the ear pressure, got it and got it?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
That makes sense? That makes sense? Okay, Yeah, I mean
it makes sense that that would be a concern. Lots
of babies fly, and you know, I think the best
kind of advice that I've heard being a mom is like, oh,
you nurse them or you give them a battle while yeah,
you kind of reader atultitude and that typically helps. So
there are lots of different ways to kind of manage
air pressure on flights if that was people's kind of
(19:34):
main concern, But I was confused as to like why
there was so much. Yeah, I feel a concern about it.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
As far as a German perspective, flying private is probably
your best pens.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, sure, right, right?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
For new moms everywhere. How can parents decide whose advice
is actually worth listening to protecting their own mental health
when it just feels like so many people have opinions
on what's right, what's wrong, all the different things.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yeah, I think listening to your physician and your baby's
physician is probably where you should go in terms of
leading advice for your particular journey as a mom. Right
because even if we are all moms, everybody has a
different baby. We are different as moms, and so what
work for my kids may not work for your kids.
And so even if I'm offering well intentioned advice, it
(20:21):
may not actually work for you because your situation and
your children are very different. And so I think getting
advice from trained professionals, whether that is your pediatrician, your obgyn,
your therapists, you know, your electation consultant, right like, people
who actually have a relationship with you and you know
you and your baby, if that you know matters in
(20:41):
the situation, I think that that is a better place
to get advice than just kind of general strangers on
the internet. Now. I do understand though, because sometimes you
will find yourself in like very weird predicaments with kids, right,
it's like, oh, this random thing happened, Like has anybody
else dealt with this? Like what should I do? It
is very easy to kind of just fire off, you know,
a random question while you are facing some kind of situation,
(21:04):
but that does didn't invite like all these opinions around
what kinds of things might be happening. And I think
also then kind of put a microscope on like your parenting, right,
and like allows judgments to be made about who you
are as a parent. And so I think sometimes getting
advice on from people online is okay, but it is
far better like to keep your circle closer in the
(21:26):
circle the most inner circle should be your like medical
professional support team and then maybe like moms in your
family or moms that you're connected to in some other ways,
and then it goes out from there.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I've seen a lot of conversation about like the mom
Facebook groups where everyone like, oh, like a lot.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
So yeah, I definitely made that mistake very early in
my motherhood, and I was like, oh, this is okay,
I got to get out of here.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
It's like a million opinions on one question.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
That's funny, and not just opinions, it is judgment, right,
Like it would be one thing if it were like, oh,
here's something that worked for me, you may want to
try this. It instead often has the flavor of all
breastfeeding is best, and so if you don't do that,
then you're like dooming your child to like thousand here's
like it's often not just here's something that could be helpful,
(22:21):
and it is often like I know best, and like if
you don't do it the way I said or the
way I did, then you're not a good mother, right,
And I think that is often the flavor those comments.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Okay, well, thank you so much. This was a great conversation.
But that wraps up our topics for the week.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Perfect and that's a great list. Thank you so much
for that, Brian. And if there are topics happening in
your pop culture circles that you would like us to weigh,
you know, please send those to us at Therapy for
Black Girls dot com slash mailbox. And until next time,
taking care of yourself.
Hey, y'all, Welcome back to the next episode of I
Have Some Thoughts, a weekly podcast minisolo series where we
talk about all things pop culture, but of course from
a mental health lens and I am joined today again
by Bria. Hey, Maria, Hi everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
We have a lot of cool topics to get into today.
The first let's talk about Angel Reese and the WNBA.
I feel like we can never get through a season
without something happening. But the Toronto Temple's head coach Sandy
has been suspended for one game without pay after making
an appropriate comment about the Atlanta Dreams Angel Reese. This
(00:46):
past Friday, the Atlanta dream and Toronto Tempo were playing
in a game. During the first quarter, Nayar, one of
the players, got called for a personal foul against Angel Rees.
Ny are false to the ground in pain and the coach, Sandy,
was very upset about it and during her comments, I
don't know if she forgot she was miked up, but
(01:06):
she called Angel Rees a protected species. Now, obviously there
are a lot of racial undertones throughout that commentary. In
response to the WNBA suspended Sandy for one game, Sandy
did release an apology. Angel Rees has since made a
statement as well, thanking the WNBA for taking action too.
(01:26):
As we all know, this is not the first and
definitely will not be the last instance of racism that
we see within the WNBA. This is honestly just a
very quick glimpse into it, but I think it opened
a broader conversation of why black women athletes, especially in
these women leagues, that they're already kind of you would
(01:47):
almost think that they are having to go through the
struggle of being like a women only sports team, and
they already kind of being compared against the men and
are getting the same resources as the male teams. But
black women specifically have to navigate this layer of excellence
and bias at the same time. So, like, why are
(02:08):
black women's emotions, their confidence, their competitiveness, why is it
interpreted so differently from their peers and women in the league,
but also in men in the league as well.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I agree with you, Ria, because you would think, like
a league that is built by well and I won't
necessarily built by women, right, because we know that the
NBA also has a large part in like all the
things that happen in the WNBA, because it kind of
came out of there but a league that is governed
by women, that is run by women, that is, you know,
built on the backs of black women specifically, Like you
(02:42):
would think that there would be more ground that has
been made in terms of like eliminating bias and really
like centering the needs of the players all of the players,
and sadly that has not been the case. And I
just think it is so unfortunate. Many people have heard
me talk about on the podcast before, I am a
newly converted WNBA fan. I just love all the women's basketball,
(03:05):
and a lot of that actually is dedicated or is
in large part due to Angel Reee. So I really
started following women's basketball when she and the LSU team
won the national championship several years ago. And so Angel
is definitely somebody who I have loved following her journey
and is one of my favorite players. And I definitely
(03:26):
have paid attention to what it feels like just outsized
ignorance and violence and like just racist kinds of behaviors
and thoughts aimed her way, and it really is disgusting.
And I think black women, no matter where we go,
whatever space we show up in, it always feels and
(03:48):
I think that this is accurate that there is this
intense dedication to paying attention to what we're doing and
like policing our tone and our behavior. And we see
so many instances of it in the WNBA, where other
players are able to get away with shouting at reffs,
talking to their coaches any kind of way, like not
(04:09):
exhibiting sportsmanlike behavior, and it's not seen as the same way.
It is just seen as competitiveness, right, and like, oh,
they're fiery. But when it's Angel Reese and other black
women players, there is this undertone of oh, this is
kind of how we expect black women to be. And
so I think, unfortunately, this is just another example of
black women not being able to kind of take up
(04:31):
space and be competitive and want to kind of compete
at such a high level in the same way as
other people, and that not just being seen as what
it is, right, like just a part of the game.
There are all these other implications and insinuations that are
made that have absolutely nothing to do with the actual game.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Absolutely. Yeah. And I mentioned earlier that Sandy did get
suspended for one game. A lot of people are speaking
out saying that that honestly wasn't enough there's this balance
of did you mean what you said, but also what
you said did have implications that were like very racist,
So was that really a proper response to that? But
(05:10):
what do you think from your perspective that it will
take for organizations sports teams to move beyond support in
a way that might be interpreted as performative Because if
the WNBA said nothing, then it would have been bad.
But it's tricky to balance too.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I am please, you know, I'm actually surprised that they
did act so quickly, but I agree with you that
if they didn't like it definitely would have been probably
for our worst. Yeah, not understanding that Sandy is Australian
and so it sounds like there is this term protected
species maybe means something differently maybe culturally for her. But
of course we are in the US, right and especially
(05:48):
when we're looking at the WBA and the fire that
has been led around like race relations, particularly related to
like Caitlyn Clark and all of the other black players, like,
it just feels like things are boiling over at like
a speedy rate right now, and so I think timing
in place is everything right, And so for her to
say something like that, even if culturally, it maybe has
(06:09):
a different connotation for her. In this context, of course,
it is very racist, right, and Angel was offended, and
so I was very pleased that Sandy responded so quickly.
Angel accepted the apology. You know, it definitely feels like
she did the right thing and offered an apology that
was actually meaningful. And then the league did take action.
But again I don't know whether that was right or wrong,
(06:29):
but I'm pleased that they did something and that it
was so swift. I think in order for us to
see more meaningful change, there needs to be more black
women in leadership roles. So another conversation that has been
kind of percolating through the WNBA streets this season is
the lack of black women coaches. So there are no
black women head coaches in the WNBA again, and that
(06:50):
is really difficult to see in a league that is
on the backs of black women, right, like black women
built this right and so to see that there are
there are no black women in leadership positions at the
head coaching role, I think is something that adds to
the nuance and what we're seeing in this situation.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Now.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Nekka gum Lak is the WNBA president, So she's like
the president of the players union. I guess it's what
the WNBPA is, And so I think that that goes
a long way. And I think she is a very
well spoken, like good advocate for the players and she's
still an active player, so her presence goes a long way.
But she really is the only one, right, And so
(07:28):
I think that when we look at the leadership of
the WNBA, there needs to be more black women who
strongly identify as black women, right because we know all
Skinfok and kimbok, right, for people who actually understand like
a black woman's ethic and what it means, especially like
if we just use Angel Reese as an example, right,
like what it might need for a young player to
come in with this level of scrutiny and criticism and
(07:51):
how that impacts their development, Like somebody who really understands
a black woman's plight. I think is really important and
that I think is sorely missing in the WNBA right now,
and it's something that would actually go a long way
I think in navigating these situations better.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
That's so true. I think even like beyond sports, we
stayed often where there's one black person in corporate America
in the room that's like, hey, this won't be received
a certain way, but it's on them that to like
call those things out and then to go against so
many other people whom I think differently. It's definitely something
that I feel like we see kind of across the
board too.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, you raise a good point there, Ria, because it's
not enough to just have them there. People also have
to listen. Ex Like, we don't just need black women
in figureheads faces, we need black women in leadership in
the WNBA who people will actually listen to and whose
voices will be heard for sure.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I agree well. For our next topic, Brandy R and B.
Singer has been facing some body shaming comments. So Brandy
was at the center of an online conversation after a
video circulated of her looking noticeably slimmer, especially like within
her facial area. People began immediately commenting on her appearance,
(09:01):
some of them in very negative ways. A lot of
people were like, oh, maybe there's something wrong with her medically,
or she's been diagnosed with something, just kind of drawing
conclusions that weren't really for people to draw. It didn't
take long for people actually to reflect on a very
similar situation that took back in twenty twenty when people
made very similar comments about Chadwick Boseman he had lost
(09:23):
a lot of weight, especially in his face as well,
and then shortly after he revealed his colon cancer diagnosis,
which we ultimately know is how he passed away. Brandy
has since responded, reminding everyone to remember that the person
that they're commenting on is still a person and to
always leap with kindness. But I think there's a broader
question here of when commenting on people's.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Bodies just became so normalized.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
And I feel like, you know, when you're growing up,
you maybe go to like your mom's house, at your
grandma's house and maybe like, oh, you're gaining weight, excising.
I feel like it was it's kind of normal and
like black households in a way. But I feel like
the Internet is just so amplifying. So from your perspective,
why do people feel so comfortable commenting on other people's
(10:08):
bodies even when they don't really know the person or
what it is that they could be going through.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
You bring up a great point, Brian, I you know
fairly don't know that this is only a black household situation,
because I definitely have heard white women also talk about
like the intense scrutiny they've had from family members in
terms of weight. But it does feel like a familial
kind of thing that has developed that it is okay
to kind of criticize one another, right, Like, so you
are away at college and then you come back and
(10:34):
all the family is like, oh, that freshman facing really
got you, right, like all of those you know, And
I think many of us laughed it off and like
kind of saw that as a normal part of kind
of family interactions. But I think as we have grown
in our understanding of like what it means to relate
to one another and what kinds of things invoke shaming people,
I think we've realized now that it is not okay,
even with family members, like to make comments about that,
(10:57):
because you never know what people's relationship to their weight
is in like those kinds of comments, and it's just
not okay, Like why is it okay to talk about
people's bodies in that way?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
So, if we know that we need to take a
step back, even with our family members and people we
know and have relationships with, it is far more not
okay for us to be doing it publicly online and
so you know your question around like when did this
become normal? I think for a lot of us it
is something that is kind of been normalized in our
families because people have comment it's about our weight and appearance,
(11:29):
and maybe we have also done that. And I think
now that we have the Internet and it feels like
we are also connected though of course not really right,
Like we just had a conversation a couple of weeks
ago about parasocial relationships, and so I think there is
this fallacy that we are more connected and like we
know people online when we really don't. And so, you know,
I think it is normal to notice differences in people, right,
(11:52):
Like if we saw somebody a year ago and now
they look drastically different, I think it is just human
nature to register that difference, like, oh, something looks different.
But I think instead of you know, jumping on X
or threads or Instagram and like sharing these dire tribes
around whatever it is, would that not be better sir?
For like, oh I'm wishing them well either privately or
(12:14):
just in a small group chat, right like with people
who you know, and like, this is not information that
will be shared publicly right, Because again, I don't think
there's anything wrong with noticing a difference. I think the
difficulty and the problematic behavior comes when we feel empowered
and entitled, honestly to go online and like make these
conclusions and create these entire stories that have likely nothing
(12:37):
to do with the reality of what's going on with
especially when people have come out and said I don't
like this, right, like so many celebrities and public figures
have said, like, I feel uncomfortable with this, Like this
doesn't feel good to me, And so we cannot feel
entitled and feel like just because we all can create
a Threads account that it gives us permission to comment
(12:59):
on people's buy bodies and things in ways that people
have said, this does not feel good to me, I'm
not comfortable with this.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Totally agree, and I think that like a lot of
people forget And I've heard this conversation a lot around
for people who want to be like content creators and
all that, like if you might seem like only a
thousand people watch your content, oh my gosh, that's less
than like what I want, per se. I feel like
if a thousand people were to come up to you
in person, like the comments on something, it would feel
(13:27):
so different. So like to think from a celebrities perspective
that they're getting this from like so many different angles,
thousands and thousand people commenting on their physical appearance, it
can't be easy to navigate at all. So just like
keeping that in mind too. But even in our personal lives,
like with our family, our friends, how can we be
(13:48):
more thoughtful about the language that we're using when we
do notice those changes and like way physical appearance. I'm
someone who's like, don't have for comment on way because
you really just never know. It just doesn't feel appropriate
to me personally. Other people might not feel that way.
So how can we just be more thoughtful about the
language that we're you're seeing and when we do notice
these differences?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Mm hmm yeah, I think leading with care and consideration
is a better way to approach these situations, right, So
not necessarily calling attention to like hey, it looks like you,
you know, like ore one hundred pounds smaller than when
I saw you last year, but you know, like, hey,
is everything okay? I haven't seen you in a while,
Like what's going on? Catch me up kind of thing? Right,
And so really like leaning into the relationship that you
(14:31):
have with the person, because hopefully whatever conversation that you're
trying to spark with, whatever comment you're making, it's coming
from a place of like well wished and like, is
there anything I need to do to support you in
a different way, right, as opposed to like judgment and
nosiness right right, Like you know, cause if it's that,
then you probably are better off just keeping the comment
(14:52):
to yourself or you know, get chat without that person.
But if it is like, oh, is this something I
should be concerned about? Or I think leading with hey,
you know, is everything okay? Is there anything I can
do to support you? Will open up a space for
if that person feels comfortable. Now again, they may not
feel comfortable already or whatever to share anything with you,
(15:13):
But I think you going on record kind of coming
from a place of care and concern goes a much
further way and maybe registers differently with the person than hey,
it looks like you are one hundred pounds smaller. That
probably does not register as care.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Totally agree absolutely.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
More from our conversation after the break.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
So for our last topic, we're actually going to go
back to lotto. I feel like we have brought her
up a couple of times on some thoughts, but she's
in the news again because she was recently captured pushing
her newborn and a stroller toward a private jet. Now,
the video quickly made its way to social media, and
people began questioning whether this was a safe way to
(15:54):
be traveling with the baby, whether it was safe for
the baby at all, germs, all that kind of stuff.
Someone commented actually on the video, sharing that no matter
how much money they made in their life, they wouldn't
put their baby at risk like this, and a Loto
actually responded back to them saying, good thing, it's not
your baby. So I think it's kind of like a
(16:15):
double edged sort of like some people online were like
genuinely concerned for the child, but also have to navigate
the fact that that's not your child. So, like, how
and why does motherhood seem to invite so much public scrutiny,
especially from celebrities who are in the public eye too.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah, we have definitely talked about a lot of a
couple of times, which I think is interesting. But I
think given the nature of our podcast and like she's
a new mom, I think there's just been a lot happening,
you know, but it does feel like motherhood is one
of those things that like people just feel like they
have commentary and opinions about either you are a mother,
you've had a mother, right Like, I think the rearing
(16:53):
of children is something that people just feel like, oh,
we all have opinions about, and you know, because it
doesn't come with a manual, right like, there is no
no guidebook around, like how to raise healthy, happy kids. People,
I think, in some ways would think that they are
being helpful right now. Not everybody, right like, you know,
everybody does not have well good intentions. But I think
(17:14):
for the most part, a lot of people are like
offering commentary in the hopes that like it will protect
your child, or like they are offering you something to
kind of help you in your journey as a mother.
But I think for a lot of women, the idea
of motherhood or the state of motherhood already comes with
so much criticism, so much self criticism, that this unsolicited
(17:35):
advice and commentary often just makes moms feel much worse
and shamed, right that, oh my gosh, I did something
and put my baby at jeopardy. I didn't know this.
I think that there's so much pressure that is on
moms that any unsolicited advice just becomes the loud speaker
on some thoughts that are probably already very critical and
(17:55):
so maybe some not helpful ways. And so I think
people think that it's like harmless to offer this commentary.
You see this a lot, especially, I've noticed lots of
different places, but one of the places I've noticed in
most is like with seat belt commentary. Right, Like if
you show your baby in a car seat, like, oh,
I'm about to run to the store, follow me on
my way to the store, there's guaranteed to be somebody
(18:18):
in the comments that says, oh, the baby's buckle needs
to be higher too, you know. And again I think
that is well intentioned, right, because nobody wants to see,
you know, something happening and a child is injured in
a car accident. But again you have to think about,
like how many thoughts moms are already having about am
I doing this right? Am I getting it wrong? And
how you are maybe adding gasoline to the fire when
(18:40):
you're offering this unsolicited commentary. Now, Bria, I also want
to back up though, when you saw this commentary, what
was the concern around the baby being on the private jet.
Was it like, oh, it's jermy, Like what the concern there?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
It was more so about the ears popping. I think
a lot of people were like, she's flying private, so
there's not people around xyz. But apparently it's think about
the ear pressure. I have a lot of grace for
moms because I'm not a mom, and I feel like
I learned something new every day, so I'm like, that
never would have even occurred to me. But something about
the ear pressure, got it and got it?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
That makes sense? That makes sense? Okay, Yeah, I mean
it makes sense that that would be a concern. Lots
of babies fly, and you know, I think the best
kind of advice that I've heard being a mom is like, oh,
you nurse them or you give them a battle while yeah,
you kind of reader atultitude and that typically helps. So
there are lots of different ways to kind of manage
air pressure on flights if that was people's kind of
(19:34):
main concern, But I was confused as to like why
there was so much. Yeah, I feel a concern about it.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
As far as a German perspective, flying private is probably
your best pens.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, sure, right, right?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
For new moms everywhere. How can parents decide whose advice
is actually worth listening to protecting their own mental health
when it just feels like so many people have opinions
on what's right, what's wrong, all the different things.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yeah, I think listening to your physician and your baby's
physician is probably where you should go in terms of
leading advice for your particular journey as a mom. Right
because even if we are all moms, everybody has a
different baby. We are different as moms, and so what
work for my kids may not work for your kids.
And so even if I'm offering well intentioned advice, it
(20:21):
may not actually work for you because your situation and
your children are very different. And so I think getting
advice from trained professionals, whether that is your pediatrician, your obgyn,
your therapists, you know, your electation consultant, right like, people
who actually have a relationship with you and you know
you and your baby, if that you know matters in
(20:41):
the situation, I think that that is a better place
to get advice than just kind of general strangers on
the internet. Now. I do understand though, because sometimes you
will find yourself in like very weird predicaments with kids, right,
it's like, oh, this random thing happened, Like has anybody
else dealt with this? Like what should I do? It
is very easy to kind of just fire off, you know,
a random question while you are facing some kind of situation,
(21:04):
but that does didn't invite like all these opinions around
what kinds of things might be happening. And I think
also then kind of put a microscope on like your parenting, right,
and like allows judgments to be made about who you
are as a parent. And so I think sometimes getting
advice on from people online is okay, but it is
far better like to keep your circle closer in the
(21:26):
circle the most inner circle should be your like medical
professional support team and then maybe like moms in your
family or moms that you're connected to in some other ways,
and then it goes out from there.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I've seen a lot of conversation about like the mom
Facebook groups where everyone like, oh, like a lot.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
So yeah, I definitely made that mistake very early in
my motherhood, and I was like, oh, this is okay,
I got to get out of here.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
It's like a million opinions on one question.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
That's funny, and not just opinions, it is judgment, right,
Like it would be one thing if it were like, oh,
here's something that worked for me, you may want to
try this. It instead often has the flavor of all
breastfeeding is best, and so if you don't do that,
then you're like dooming your child to like thousand here's
like it's often not just here's something that could be helpful,
(22:21):
and it is often like I know best, and like if
you don't do it the way I said or the
way I did, then you're not a good mother, right,
And I think that is often the flavor those comments.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Okay, well, thank you so much. This was a great conversation.
But that wraps up our topics for the week.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Perfect and that's a great list. Thank you so much
for that, Brian. And if there are topics happening in
your pop culture circles that you would like us to weigh,
you know, please send those to us at Therapy for
Black Girls dot com slash mailbox. And until next time,
taking care of yourself.
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