July 23, 2024 • 48 mins
The Love Island finale has finally aired and Tanya is ready to share all of her thoughts!
Do you have "gate anxiety"? Becca reveals her ideal airport experience (which leaves no room for error).
And, we find out why Tanya is tracking her sleep!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Scrub dub dumb.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I'm not in a very good mood today. Wow, Like
I the period feels near.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
You still have gotten it?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
No, I'm always like, I'm not like right on the dot.
We can't start every conversation about my period. But yeah,
that's that's a little bit about me.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
So you're in a bad mood, a good mood.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just kinda like, e.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Well, I'm coming too.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
That's not good. You can't be when I'm and I
already claimed.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Eh, well, I amn't been a because I've been.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Weeks.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I know, no one week. It's been one week. It
is weird.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
It's felt like a long time.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
It's like a long time for me too. But let
me tell you Internally, I'm yeah, okay. Externally I'm that's fine.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Yeah, I need the internal too.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Well, let me tell you something. I if you're feeling black, eh, eh,
you made my birthday so special?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Really?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Like you made my birthday wow? Yeah? How it was
just you? It was all you?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, there really wasn't in competition actually everyone else is
out of town.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
No, but like, honestly, I really like and it was
so sweet. At the end of the day when we
got home and we're like getting ready for bed, Robbie
like looks at me and he was just like that
guys a really good friend. And I like started crying
because I was reading your card and I was like,
she really is, Like it was just like the perfect day.
It was like exactly what I wanted to do. She
(01:58):
took me to the spa, we got a massage, we
spent quality time. We sat by the pool, we had lunch, and.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
We were just like gal pals and dinner and dinner
all at one place, all at one place. We stayed
in one spot, and I don't know, just you just
really made my birthday.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
You made my birthday.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Wow, I'm so happy to hear that.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, because I sometimes feel like you're definitely a type
of person who loves. I feel like a group of people,
you know, like you love like friends and celebrating and stuff. Yeah,
and it was just timing. A lot of your friends
were out of town or you know, it was just
a weekend where people weren't available. So I was like,
I hope that I was. I was like, I hope
(02:44):
this felt like enough for her.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
It was more than enough. It was so nice.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
It was really fun. I had a great day as well.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Felt like quality time, which I loved.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
It was quality time.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, I had what I would say, also one of
the best massages I've had. You know how sometimes you
go to like if you you go with someone and
you both get a massage, one person always comes out
and they're like, that was the best massage I've ever had,
And then the other person comes out and they're like
that was terrible, Like I couldn't wait for it to
be over.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
I feel like that's how it always goes.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
And the girl that did mine was actually the girl
that when Tanya got engaged and she was getting a
massage at that spa, she handed her.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
The note wow. So yeah, so she was my massage therapist.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah. She was the first person I like cried to
and was like.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
I'm getting engaged.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Yeah, she had me right back.
Speaker 6 (03:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
So I was like, you're you're a star for uh,
like you're literally a story of the story.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So I had a really good massage and then I
got out and I was like, please let Tanya have
had a massage and she also had one, and then
we had lunch.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
I had the best beats I've ever had in her
life at the moment, it was definitely the best beats
I've ever had in my life. Did this last week
for Marky?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah, super setta however you say it.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
And so it was like the hot honey with.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Like the salami, the spicy salami, but it was just
cooked to perfection, was like so hot when it came out.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
We were by the pool. It was just like there
was nothing that.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
There were no notes, no notes, she had no notes.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
It was incredible. What was the place called Dante Dante?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah, yeah, shout out, shout out, and I gotta let
us wrapped cheeseburger. Yeah, it was actually really good.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Doesn't have the same Yeah it does.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Oh my gosh. When you're on your period.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
It's like I put super food and the super food
did that make No?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I don't get the joke.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
It's not. The joke was that you didn't understand grammar.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
That there's superfoods and there are superfoods, right, that's it.
You all made it like this big funny joke, and
I was like, there's no funniness to this the funny joke.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
The funniest part about it was that you didn't get
what we were saying.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I still don't think I get it.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
You get it.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
You just described it, so you do get it, okay, okay,
But there wasn't like an inside joke. It was just
intelligent people, three intelligent people.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
Wow wow second.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Yeah, but you know what, I actually didn't do it
over you know what I did it and do on
my birthday that I do every year on my birthday,
I always light the things on fire that I was
and because I just wasn't feeling well, like I wasn't
feeling my total self and I'm still not fully back
and I want to be really present, so I've just
like tabled that. But I'm still going to do it.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah, I think that intentions don't have to be on
a certain day.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah, thank you so much. You know, I use my
birthday as like the marker because I want to do
it every year. But it's like, I'm not going to
forget to do it.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
I think you will forget to do it. I'm not
going to I predict you won't do it.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
You're still not fully back.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I know, but just just bite you. I'm going to
do it today.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I was actually looking through all of our birthdays, your
birthdays that we've celebrated together, and there was one in
like twenty eighteen or something where we were at the
Maybourne Spa, but it was the montage.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Always I go back on because I go into my
memories and I can see, like, uh, there was a
birthday where we went to the beach.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Now up on fire yeah yea, yeah yeah yeah yeah,
yeah that was illegal.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
We were lighting snuff on fire on the beach, which felt.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
That's what they do, they like have bmpfires on the
beach and stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Yeah, we weren't in one of those areas anyhow, but
we set the intentions that night. Yeah, and then I
got home. We got home at the end of the night.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
And Robbie was like, Beca's a really great friend, I know.
And then she posts this reel that she made sends
me down another crying spiral. So you really turned it out.
I just to say wow, thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
All day. She was like, I'm just waiting for my reel.
I'm like, I like you, I'm literally wait you.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I'm trying to be present with you for your birthday.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I was, actually, you know what's so.
Speaker 6 (07:12):
Crazy, it's not special if you asked it for the
reel all day and then you gave you.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
A I knew it was coming. I was just waiting
for it. But the thing that was really interesting about
that day is like, I know that we're always like
on our phone, in our phones, posting and stuff like that,
and I on my birthday, like you get a bunch
of text messages, so you're responding to people and stuff
like that. I was so present that day, Like I
was super super present the whole day.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Yeah, I know, me too. And so that's when you
were asking about your reel. I was like, I'm torn here.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I haven't been that president at I haven't been that
present in a long time, which is like weird.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It's nice, huh, Yeah, it was nice. I went to
the beach on Saturday and I was there. It was
my friends Caroline and Arden had introduced me to them
and they just got engaged and so they had like
a big engagement party on the beach and I was
present all day. I literally didn't have my phone, it
was in my bag, and Robbie and Tanya had texted
(08:08):
me asking for recommendations for my Orca and I hadn't
responded because I mean that was like something that I
would take time and like respond to. It wasn't just
like a yes or no question. And I was driving
when I when they first texted me, and so I
put my phone down and just like was present all day.
And then Tanya is like, hello, is this thing on?
Speaker 1 (08:29):
We texted her at like nine am and I hadn't
hear back three or four pm.
Speaker 6 (08:33):
So I was like, hello, We're good for becr.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
That's when you like look at the gift of find
my friends that I have given you, and you.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Go, oh, she's at the beach. She's probably being present.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
You know, it's weird. I didn't even look at your
look at this weekend.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I don't use it for good. You don't use it
for good, just for me.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
The Yeah, So yeah, it was.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
So nice being present both those days.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Wow. Yeah I didn't have that after Thursday. Yeah, yeah,
I was just back on.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I hate like sometimes I just want to like toss
my phone and get a jitterbug.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
It's a jitterbug.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's funny. You should ask.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It's a flip phone with large numbers. It's for elderly
and it just basically is for like calling and it
has big numbers.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Because okay, so what is it You don't like to
engage with people or you want to do it on
your own.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Time being engaged with people, Like if I get to
meet people in person, like my dream would be to
do a scrubbing and meetup where like we go to
the beach and I can, like in person engage with people,
Like I love that, But.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
You don't like when people text you when you don't
want it.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
I hate that. I literally hate that that we are.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
At everyone's bacon call back in call with our phones,
like it bugs me a lot. So I love one
on one time, but I don't like that that you
feel like you have access to me anytime that you want.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
To have access to me.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
It feels personal.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
No no, no, I'm saying in like general, yeah, I
guess generally and you specifically, But like that people have
feel like they have access to us at all time
because it wasn't like that before smartphones.
Speaker 7 (10:16):
The thing I think about a lot is I saw
a picture of an old like computer desk and they
were like the person who read it was like you
used to sign off. You would walk away from this
and the internet stayed there, and now then it's with
you all that. Like it would feel so necessary to
be like texting someone like all right bye, like that.
Speaker 8 (10:30):
It feels weird to do in a text right right by?
Speaker 7 (10:33):
Yeah, you just keep talking forever, always run on sentences.
Speaker 8 (10:38):
Yeah, forever.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
So I'm gonna try this.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
What are you trying the jitterbug?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I'm going to be off next week and I'm going
to try to be off. Yeah, Let's see how long
I can.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
What does this mean, like not texting people, or not
being on social media, all of it. I think I
think you will feel so good doing it.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Let's see.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
When I went on The Bachelor, they took our phones
and I thought I was gonna hate it.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I loved it.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I loved that I only was focused on what was
happening right in front of me.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Well, let's see, let's see how it goes.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
All right, stay tuned for the date.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
I lasted one day on my birthday. It was great.
It was a great day and I just I wanted
again say thank you. And I had the best day
and I love you and you made it so special.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I'm so happy to hear that, and I had such
a great day with you, and it was so fun
to spend a full, full day with you. I would
have slumber partied if Robbie hadn't been there, and I
could have.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Where would I have slept?
Speaker 1 (11:46):
That's true. We could have put Robbie on the couch
and then we slept in the bed.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Okay, okay, okay, Well next time, yeah, next time. We
filmed a video last week of us doing the Charlie
XCX Apple brat Summer Dance, and I would say as
a collective unit, we all crushed it. But there was
one person in the absolute star of the show. According
(12:11):
to the comments.
Speaker 6 (12:12):
I got a lot of comments it was I was
shocked by.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
This, your daughter finally commented, because oh she did.
Speaker 6 (12:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
We have been try asking Mark, like, what do your
daughters think of this? When we post videos, and Mark
people are always like Mark, Mark, Mark, and You've always
said like they could care less.
Speaker 6 (12:31):
They could care less. But this one, for some reason,
because we was in a handful of these, this one
reached my family. My wife and kids both found this
without me having anything to do with it. Jach was
sent to them by their friend Viral I don't know,
there was no viral. I don't know, but my wife
had sent to her by one of her friends, and
my kids saw it and that's when she, Yeah, she
(12:53):
decided I'm going to get in on this because so many,
so many people were saying, what do his daughters think
on this?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Please? So what does she say?
Speaker 3 (13:00):
My dad is iconic?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
So yeah, it had six hundred and sixty five thousand
views on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Is that viral?
Speaker 6 (13:09):
I think that's viral.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
It's not. It's not super viral, but that's a lot
of Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
But then on and on TikTok it has one hundred
and eighteen thousand, but it Yeah, it definitely had a
good moment and it was hilarious. So I feel like
we should maybe start doing more choreography team.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
You know, if I'm gonna be honest, it wasn't as
hard as I thought it was gonna be.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Most things that you are scared to do aren't as
hard as you think.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
They're gonna be.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Let's dip into that. Beacka.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I think we set ourselves up with fear of thinking
I'm not a dancer, So how am I supposed to
learn to dance this fast? Before going let's see if
I can do it.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
So maybe what you're saying is I should write down
on the piece of paper that I'm gonna get rid
of doubt with a mass of paper my to burn. Right,
that's a good one. I'm gonna make it.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
And like fear of trying new things.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
I don't have fear of trying new things. I try
new things all the time. I'm tving my mouth shut.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Dread, dread of trying new things that aren't your things.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Nah huh.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Yeah, if it's what you want to do, you have
no issue trying to start sleeping with a chance. If
there's any other suggestion from people, then you're pretty pooh
poo it.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yeah, that's true right off the bat.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
Facts.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Also, I wanted to talk to you about what modern
woman is, what a modern woman is, because I've been
thinking about this thinking and I wanted to ask what
the actual definition is.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I'm glad you asked.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, but first we're going to take a break.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Sorry, all right, we're back.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
So your brand is modern Woman's modern woman energy.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
You are a modern woman. Yeah, everyone should be a
modern woman, louder for.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
The people on the back.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
But if people were like, what is the definition of
modern woman? What?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
What do you tell them?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I'm so glad you asked yeah, because the truth is,
you don't define a modern woman. You just are one.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
So there's no definition.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
There's no because it's a woman that is following the
desires of her own heart. So that's going to look
different from me to you, to Mark to Easton, it's
gonna look different.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
So there's no boundaries for the monetary, no parameters, and
no parameters.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
You fly, you march the beat of your own drum.
You listen to the desires of your own heart. You
go after what you want. If you want to be
a stay at home mom, you be the best stay
at home mom of your life. If you want to
be a CEO of that job, you be a CEO
of that. If you want to start your company, you
start your company.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
What makes that different than being a woman, Like, what's
the fiction.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
The full conviction, the doing it unapologetically, not having to
ask for permission, not being ashamed or embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
But what if it's something that's like not what if
it's something that's problematic for another woman? Like what I mean,
he's following your heart?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Oh, like I want to marry.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I was gonna say, Tom Cruise, he's not married, who's
married John Legend? But he's already married, So i'd have
to break up a marriage, right right, that's not modern woman.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
So there are parameters.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Well, just a moral compass, if you will.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Oh, okay, a moral compass, yeah, okay. So it's just
basically being a strong, independent woman.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Yeah, just and unapologetic is a big word right there. Unapologetic, unashamed, passionate, loyal,
fears strong, yeah, north star.
Speaker 6 (17:06):
But Becca makes a good point, like what if you're
going for that job and I want that job, I'm
gonna get that job. But a woman already has that job,
you're gonna you're gonna get her, get her.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Fired, Maybe she'll move on to a better job, maybe
she'll start her own company.
Speaker 7 (17:18):
I like the compass thing because the modern women and
that's it tells you where to go.
Speaker 8 (17:22):
Exactly, there's no limit, that's right.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
The modern woman energy is that compass, that that north
star that points you where you should go. Why do
you bring this up?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I was just asking because someone I've seen I've meant
to bring it up, like it was actually weeks ago
when there was something I posted with another friend of mine,
or I went maybe when I went to dinner with
Keana or Hungo Valley, and you.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Got a lot of time with Ka lately, a lot
of time with her friend Keana lately.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Thank Keana is terrified of you. She should should be.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
So I think it was someone said, how was this
modern woman energy?
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Like they responded to you or something.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Well, I like to claim my friends and I like
to do it passionately and aggressively, and that's modern north Star.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Okay, I still don't have full clarity, but as long
as you do, I think.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
That's what matters.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Love Island finale.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Did you watch?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Oh my gosh, how can I do this podcast?
Speaker 3 (18:28):
But I know enough. I've seen enough that we can discuss.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
You don't care about a spoiler alert?
Speaker 3 (18:33):
I know everything.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Okay, that's fine. It was a boring episode the finale. Yeah,
it's always boring.
Speaker 6 (18:40):
The thing that's the thing, always boring.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
So there's like, it's fun in the beginning, in my opinion,
it's fun in the beginning when they're like getting to
know each other, blah blah blah. When some bombshells come in.
Then there's like then cosa more is like very dramatic entertaining,
and then once they'll settle into their couples, it's like, okay,
let's wrap it up.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah, so once the once they find love, yeah, it's like, man,
but that's.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
What you watch it for us, for love.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Correct. But once I settle into the love, I don't
need to see I don't you know, to.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
See it unfold.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Take that to a reality show, you know what I mean?
Another another reality show where I can follow your love,
your life.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
So were you happy with the winners?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Wait, do you vote?
Speaker 2 (19:21):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Because I've never I've never watched in real time? Does
that make sense?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
I thought you watched this whole season a real time.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
This is the first season I've ever watched in real time.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
The whole thing, k was that you were upset because
they were so far ahead and you couldn't vote, or
you're watching old season.
Speaker 6 (19:35):
I know.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
And then I got here and I'm just like not
used to voting.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
It's just too much. It was too much, too much, okay, Okay,
So to the modern woman.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
The modern woman votes when she wants to vot, or
doesn't vote when she doesn't want to.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Know and To be honest, I wasn't like rooting for
any of them, Like, there wasn't one couple that I
was like, they have to win. To be honest, who
would you did it?
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Did who?
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Like? I wasn't compelled to vote, like I wasn't like
like when I'm watching the UK, I'm like, ah, can't
can't shance two years ago?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Okay, So the couple who won were you happy with it?
Were they who you were ready for the most? Should
we give a spoiler alert?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Spoiler alert?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
So if you have not watched those us in finale
Love ISLANDA and.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Have someone else stayed off social media to avoid spoilers.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Skip the next thirty seconds.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Okay, So the winners were.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Cordell and Serena.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
I'm actually happy.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I mean, I'm like, I liked it because in the
very first episode they coupled up together and they were
wearing the exact same color. So to me, it just
felt very meant to be.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, do you think the invisible.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
String, you know, like there was an invisible string tying
them together the whole way.
Speaker 6 (21:00):
Seconds by the way, okay.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
So you you were good with them, and then do
you think any of these couples lost outside of this show.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
No, I think they might. I think they they have
the best chance out of any of them.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
What's your prediction for length of time they stay together?
Speaker 4 (21:19):
A year?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Oh my god? Wow?
Speaker 6 (21:21):
Okay, but I like your idea of a different reality
show afterwards. You could call it Love Mainland.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yes, Love on the Mainland Yes. But I will say
the best little treat that we got last night was
ari Aanomatics confirming that they will have a reunion, which
I'm very looking forward to.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Is that not normal?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
No, I've never had reunions. Oh and I also was
watching Chicks in Office Fran and Rhea on Aftersun, which
was so cool. Do you know that they got there?
It was all like their listeners, like rallied to get
them there. That's so cool because they talked about it
so much.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
That's so cool. I know it's giving scrubber energy.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
It's giving scrubber energy. But I was like such a
fan watching. I've never I don't really like After Sun. Yeah,
but I was watching to support our.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Girls, love the Chicks thee.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
In the Office. Yeah, but I did message. I think
I messaged Fran because I want to know in real time,
like when was this filmed? Do you know what I mean?
When did they film after Sun? Because it airs on Saturday,
So like, did they film it on Friday? Is it
like twenty four hours ahead? Because it's all happening in
real time? But how much is real time? Real time?
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Is I should text them?
Speaker 1 (22:32):
I did? I mean, I I DMed her, but she's
probably inundated with all these dms.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
So the interesting part to me, what y'all can actually
contribute to this, even not watching Love Island, is that
they get off the show and they they haven't had
their phones. They don't know what's going on, and so
they have no idea if people like them or not.
You know, they don't know if they're going to be
liked or if they're going to be like the villain
or whatever.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
They just have no idea. So one of the girls,
her name is Leah, she I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I felt like just the recent episodes people became like
obsessed with her.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, because in the beginning I did not like her.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
She's just outspoken, she kind of spoke her mind, but
I didn't really I didn't know to.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Vote Andrea out. I was like, that's dirty, that is
not how you play Love Island. Yeah that's wrong.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Yeah, But anyways, she all of a sudden popped off
and she's like so popular, and she gets out and
by the time the.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Last episode aired, which I get, I guess they get.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
They don't get their phone till their final episode is aired.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
She has a million followers.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (23:34):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
For reference, the rest of them have like one hundred
to two hundred thousand.
Speaker 6 (23:39):
That's millions more people than watched our video last week. Yeah. Yeah,
it's viral.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
That's viral, and and people don't really get that type
of following anymore. Like when I feel like when I
was on The Bachelor, that kind of era, you would
get that type of following coming off of a reality show,
but a lot of people now with TikTok and stuff,
they don't have that same People just don't do the
follow like that anymore.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
For reference, with a Bachelorette this season, let's see, I
don't know how many.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Followers she has, but her season's airing.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Okay, then who was the last bachelorette besides her? Who
is before her?
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Uh? Who was before her?
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Charity lawsome charity lawson two hundred ninety four thousand.
Speaker 4 (24:20):
Followers and people love charity, so just for reference.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, so it's pretty crazy.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I was thinking about that, like coming off and not
knowing if you were gonna like we had anxiety every
week watching The Bachelor, being like, you know, what are
people going to say? Well, how what's this going to
look like? How this episode come together? And I can't
imagine the whole time thinking like I saw someone's uh
this TikToker say like she's gonna get out and she's
probably like, yeah, I might have a little bit of
(24:48):
a platform, but you go in so blind, you know, Yeah,
how crazy that must be.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
She's from La, Like, she lives just she lives just
up the freeway. So maybe we could try and get
her on the podcast. Yes, I would love to Sam.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Well, it was the most watched I think in the
whole series of Love Island. It was I want to
say it was or maybe just USA Okay, one of
the most stream shows of the summer over the last
few months.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Your bestie keeps winning? Are automatics?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Are you happy that it's over?
Speaker 6 (25:27):
You are with Sheila Burkhartzmeyer on Facebook and the Facebook
grouper posted my thoughts after listening this week's pod Love
Island is the New Station nineteen. You can't make me
watch Principle.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Oh my goodness. Well, I have a little bit of
like emptiness today, like I don't know what I'm going
to watch tonight. I'm like sad about it. I don't
have my sims to like check up on later.
Speaker 6 (25:55):
Nice sims.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
I never played a SIM, but I saw meme that
it felt very accurate.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I think the meme you're talking about was Arianna posted
like me watching like saying, oh, was it looking after
my sims or something.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I don't know what I'm gonna do. I might I
might watch old seasons.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yeah, maybe into Nature.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I had a full day with Phoebe yesterday speaking of nature,
because like Tanya's Birthday, I left her for all day
and then the beach day on Saturday, I left her
all day and I was having so much guilt. And
also she's not like I don't know what's going on
in your grass, she's digressing in her cough.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I haven't slept through the night in like a week
and a half, and we're both upset with each other
during those moments. Anyways, I was like I'm gonna take
her to the beach or take her to the park.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
And then we went to the beach and it was
so fun. She just like kept staring at me all day.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
And I saw this thing that was like taking your
dogs everywhere will slow you down.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
But like maybe that's the point emotional.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
I know. I like read this thing about like just
taking a dog on a ten minute drive does something
like stimulates them beyond whatever. And I'm like, I I
want to take her everywhere, Like I want to take
her everywhere.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Maybe hates the car though, so I.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
St sunny, but I think internally they love it. I
don't know. She likes to put her head out the
window and have the wind blows. She doesn't like like
she hates getting in the car, like she will stick
her paws on the ground.
Speaker 6 (27:31):
Like I think you should listen to her.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
No, So she has to go places like take her places.
But when she's in the car, she loves to have
her head out in the in the wind. She loves
it tails wagging her head's in the wind like free willy.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
But aside from those few moments where her head sticking
out the window, Phoebe is like a nervous wreck, anxious wreck, anxious,
very anxious.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yeah, but anyways, it was it was a nice day
with chicken.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
So I'm taking her just to the vet today because
now i think maybe she has a parasite and that's
what's causing the cough.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just like
googling everything I can.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
No and she can't tell you what's wrong.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
No, she she'll let out the worst sounding cough you've
ever heard. It'll be like it's two am. Every single night.
It's like write at two am, and we just stare
at each other, like she does this loud, like goose
honking cough and then she like stares at me, and
I like I'm sat.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Up like staring at her. We just look at each
other and I'm like, are you okay? We just lay
back down. Yeah, it's tough.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
It's tough.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
You got an or a ring? Speaking of sleep, I.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Did get an ring. Yeah, nobody is Like I've been
like waiting for somebody to be like, hey, cool or
a ring, and like nobody's said it.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Kind of like it's not as like fresh and new
as it once was.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
What like I think people would have expected you to
already have one.
Speaker 6 (28:55):
Yeah, that was very twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Well okay, so what took so long? It's new and
I'm doing it to to monitor my temperature with my ovulation.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Oh I see, that's right.
Speaker 6 (29:11):
It begins my advance. What begins the process?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yes, my hyper fixation of my ovulation if I am ovulating. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
early it does.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
But that's okay.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Early on time is on time. However, I've been hyper
focused on my sleep pat patterns and I'm like so
hyper aware of my sleep patterns it's like crazy, and
I get so excited when I wake up and I
have like optimal sleep, and I got into like the
good rem numbers and stuff like I feel like I'm
(29:47):
like a student at school.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
But if you do bad, do you overthink it?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Or are you just like, oh, I had a bad
night of sleep or you like what did I do different?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Well, because I've been like six so it's been hard
because I'm like I could tell I had a bad
night's sleep, you know, like I was coughing all nights,
Like that makes sense. I didn't get to ram or whatever.
But yeah, I'm like super.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
Fixated on my or ring I surround myself with people
who have fixations, and I don't know how this happened
because I don't.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
I don't do it really and maybe I do and
it's not I need to think about this because I'm like,
do I have fixations?
Speaker 3 (30:22):
But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I don't recognize them as fixations. But Tanya specifically and.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Ali specifically, well, it'll be all of.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
A sudden, it's like I can't eat anything out of
plastic containers.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Everything must be glass, and they get rid of every.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Plastic container in their house or then it's like I
need to take I should be eating. Ali went through
the space where it was like two she had to
eat two dates for her gut health, and I'm like,
how oh no, that.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Is so funny.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
But isn't that interesting that you attract Like maybe what.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Is your opposite?
Speaker 6 (31:03):
Yeah, like opposites attract.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
I suppose kind of something.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
No, Honestly, it is weird, like how much Ali and
I hyper fixate on things and like it'll be that
thing of the moment, right.
Speaker 6 (31:18):
It's the episode of your sitcom like we've talked about
in the past.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah, Like it is like that is like I am
so hyper focused on that right now.
Speaker 6 (31:25):
Right this week time to gets an orr ring. That's
a show, right, yep?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
And and Ali will go, oh yeah, I was talking
to Tony about this, and I'm like, y'all aren't allowed
to talk. It's too much like fixation in one space.
But what I really appreciate is that for a minute
they were talking in a group chat that I was
involved in, and I was like, I don't want to
be here, like y'all please take this side, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
So I have to be grateful.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I have to be grateful that they have continued their
own conversation. But it's just interesting that you like attract
the opposite even in friendships, you know, because like Haley
and I are very opposite.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
But it's interesting to me because I do feel like
you just don't have It's not that you don't care,
but like you really you embody care free energy.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Because it's just a lot of effort to try and
control everything.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
It's like you don't care about anything. And that comes
off like in a negative way, but it's not.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I don't take it that way.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
It's not. It's like it's she's so cool, calm and
collected about everything, Like I don't know how to explain it.
It's so interesting to me. I wish I had that.
Speaker 8 (32:35):
Do you seem very balanced? That's what I thout.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
I just don't feel like I have as much control.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
I think.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I think there's this Okay, I started thinking about this
all of a sudden, and maybe it's because we have
social media, so people have an outlet to get their
information out and it has potential to go viral and
reach people. But all of a sudden, there's experts on everything.
It's like, all of a sudden, your cortisol levels, Hi,
this is what you need to do.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
And it's like I had never even heard about my
cortisol levels.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
So it's like, why, all of a sudden are there
are all these experts and why in the ancient times.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
We didn't have any of this stuff and everyone.
Speaker 6 (33:12):
Was fine living longer.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Really, I thought they lived way longer back in the day.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
No, So it's funny that you say that, because I
feel like ever since my hashimotoves diagnosis, people will like
come to me asking me for like medical advice, and
I'm like, I'm not a doctor, nor do I ever
claim to be. And I try to like say that
as so much because I'm like I don't. I'm very
much an advocate for like be your own biggest advocate,
because everything isn't a one size fits all, right, So
(33:45):
I think that's like my mentality is like really dig in, like,
don't take one person's word for it, get several opinions,
and like do your research.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
But I appreciate that because you've had you had your experience,
and that's what you share.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
But you're not trying to be like, this is what
you have to do. You're just like, this is what
I did.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yeah, you can try it if you want, right, But anyways,
it's like tracking our sleep. It's just like there's all
these things where I'm like, but are they kind of
come out ten years later or five years from and
be like that was so bad for you to wear
that electronic thing on your finger and sleep in it.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
I think about that too. I think about that with
electric cars too. Are you sitting on a cell phone
all day?
Speaker 6 (34:24):
Yeah, that's possibility. I think about that with AirPods. Everyone's
got air pods. Yeah, And I resisted because I think
you're just beaming cancer into your head. I don't think
it's great, I know, but we'll never know until it's
too late for everybody.
Speaker 5 (34:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Shoot that that ORR rings reminds me of the promise
ring that Robbi.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
It does, it does give. It has similar similar qualities,
except that this is smaller. The or A ring is
smaller bea.
Speaker 6 (34:49):
The life expectancy in eighteen sixty was thirty nine years old.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
I'm talking like ancient. I'm talking a full time.
Speaker 6 (34:56):
Oh my god, I'm not really well. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
I didn't realize that. Okay, then I take it back.
Maybe there's knowledge with knowledge is health.
Speaker 6 (35:10):
And power, technology and medical.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
But no, it's like so true because I look at
you and I'm like, I wish I had some of
your energy just in general. But sometimes I think it
swings like too far because you're like the last person
to walk on a plane.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I was about to talk about but because you brought
up gate and anxiety at the airport, which what exactly
how would you define gate anxiety?
Speaker 1 (35:35):
So let's say I have to pee so bad, like
I'm about to pee. I've been holding it through the
TSA line. I am through TSA and there is a
bathroom right there. I cannot go to that bathroom that's
right there. I have to go to my gate first,
make sure that the gate is there, make sure that
it's going to my destination, make sure that everything is fine,
and then I can relieve myself. I have to get
(35:56):
to the gate before I can do anything.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Just because it may have changed.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
It may have changed, it may be it may not exist.
I might have seen something weird. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
But if you're at the airport, how early do you
get to the airport?
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Two hours depends if it's like quick flight or if
it's like international.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
I'll go.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
I'll try to be there an hour before.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Oh, an hour before international.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Like make sure that I'm like at my gate an
hour before.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Okay, so you have enough. You have plenty of time
to go pee and then go see your gate.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Correct, But I can't do it. No, I have to
see the gate.
Speaker 6 (36:37):
Yes, I have to make sure my gate exists. Yeah,
and then I can go do other things.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah. Yeah, get a sandwich and get a salad.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
You can get a sandwich too, that's fine, right whatever, Yeah,
not everyone's gluten free.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Yeah, but like, I can't do any of that until
I see my gate.
Speaker 6 (36:52):
Yes, you have to prove it exists and that it's
going to the right place. And everything's fine.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Yeah, it's all on the same time.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Why couldn't it change after you look at it?
Speaker 1 (37:01):
It certainly can, and it has. It definitely has.
Speaker 6 (37:04):
That's what the app is for. But I still need
to see it with my own eyes first.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Check the people out. How many people are there.
Speaker 7 (37:12):
I'm also afraid that if I go to like the bathroom,
I go to a restaurant, I'm not gonna be able
to find, like, I'm gonna get lost. But if I
look at the gate first, it's done.
Speaker 8 (37:20):
I know where that is. Then I can go off
check check.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Wow, okay, great, you don't have that.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I just trust that my updated texts that are coming
through or are accurate, and I get there right when
it's time to get on the plane. That's my dream.
When I walk up and they're boarding, I'm like, this
is perfect.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
I've timed it, honestly, saying that would give me so
much anxiety if you were already and I when I
arrive and people are standing, like.
Speaker 6 (37:52):
Oh no. If people are standing and I walk around
the corner, I'm like, oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Stands for no just standing around in the way for
no reason.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Its like if everyone sat down until their group was called,
that group stands up, lines up. We are animals. When
when I get off the plane, when I'm.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
Waiting for bad any of y'all do this.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
When I get off the plane and I'm at baggage
claim and there is a row of men with their
knees up against the luggage belt your suitcase, just stand
back because as soon as I go and someone's to
my way, I'm so aggressive with it, like I will.
I don't mind if I hit them in the elbow
or in the hip because I'm like, get out of
(38:35):
my way, scoop back like a normal person and wait
for the bag to get there.
Speaker 7 (38:44):
With THEO drives me crazy because I always have that
big case of gear when I'm having somewhere and like
I have to knock an old lady.
Speaker 8 (38:50):
Down to get it. It's a bummer. I don't want
to assault anybody.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Yeah, I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
I don't have any issue like elbowing a man, but
like I'll be gentle if it's an old lad.
Speaker 6 (39:00):
You know what I do hate we're talking about plane
behavior is when the plane stops, you're on the plane
and the clap nope, And that's kind of nice stop
lights come on. Everyone stands up. So that's together thing
that the people in the back decide, I'm getting off
this plane first, and they walk down the aisle as
far as they can, right past you, like there's a
way to get off the plane. It goes, it goes,
(39:22):
it goes. People just said no, I'm going and then
there's the You look up and there's just somebody standing
in the aisle next to your seat. Drives me nuts.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
That also drives me nuts, and I just have to
hope that maybe they're rushing to catch another flight, And
that's just what I have to think, because otherwise there's
just no excuse for that behavior. You really, the airport
brings out the absolute worst qualities in every single person.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
I don't think so, No, it does. It does agree.
Speaker 6 (39:50):
We were getting our luggage once at LAX and it
was delayed, like the luggage were taking forever to come off,
and because there were so many flights landing at the
same time, and because of that, there were so many
hundreds of people and baggae claim all at the same time.
And on top of that, for some reason, an alarm
was going off and it was a high pitch alarm
and it was like, this is a social experiment. This
(40:11):
is like how long before these people start to murder
each other? It's like the Hunger Games in here. This
is insane. So yes, I agree with you.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Not the worst, Yeah, but I love watching people reunite
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
That's a good part. Oh my gosh, I like this
Hailey so much.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I'm like done, Like it's I get to see her
this weekend. So I'm like, I think, because I know
it's close, there's this feeling of like the I think
I've had to be strong for two weeks where I'm like,
I'm good, we'll get there, the time will come. But
this week, and maybe because of my period, I'm like, I'm.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
Done, I'm done waiting. When are you leaving Thursday?
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Wow?
Speaker 6 (40:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Is she gonna pick you u from the airport?
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Probably not, She's probably working, But it's okay.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Airports always get me emotional because I always think about that.
I'm like someone's leaving and saying goodbye and someone's greeting
them on the other side, or someone's waiting, yeah he
sounds waiting to see them.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
But also there's been like this power outage or power outage.
Speaker 7 (41:13):
I set that to my phone background to fit in
with everybody, the blue screen and the little sad face
that CrowdStrike. It was a cybersecurity company uploaded a bad
update took down the computers.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
I think, dang well.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
I also had this thing because we always think of
people leaving and then going to see each other, but
it's also thinking about the people that are traveling for
like every occasion, like going to celebrate someone or going
to grieve someone. And like people were like saying they
were missing weddings and funerals because of this outage, and
I was like, oh my gosh, like beyond just the
frustration of trying to go somewhere, even if work or whatever,
(41:49):
it's like big events that people, you know. Yeah, anyways,
we have a anonymous Dear bonya request, but we're gonna
take a break and we'll be up.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
All right.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
We are back, So we have Dear Bonnie help from
anonymous Mark.
Speaker 6 (42:25):
Thank you so much loving the weekly segment. Dear Bonia,
and I would love your advice from my own situation.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
Please.
Speaker 6 (42:29):
I'm a female. I've been a relationship with my girlfriend
for six years now. She's always said that part of
the reason she felt for me was my positive outlook
on life, including when things go wrong. Well, the last
year or so, she's become such a negative person. It
truly affects my energy being a female myself. I try
to understand mood shifts, hormones, but it's a daily thing.
At this point, within the first hour of being awake,
(42:51):
it's complaints and it's going to take it home. It's
how bad everything throughout the day has gone. When I
try to spin things around, look at the positive, it's
now taken that I'm not seeing her feelings. How do
I approach this without a completely hurting her. I want
to be a supportive partner, but it's truly draining. Thank
you for the weekly laughs. I definitely need them.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
This sucks because it's so valid to have bad days.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
And like want your partner to just be like, I'm sorry,
Like that sucks, but a daily occurrence would be so
drain exhausting.
Speaker 6 (43:27):
Sorry, we have no advice for your.
Speaker 8 (43:30):
Good luck.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
Well, I think here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Is she like going through something like is she depressed?
Or like maybe there's something that we're missing, some information
that we're missing.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Yeah, I think that when you are in a highly
defensive state, there's no.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
Like, there's no win for the other person.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Because if you're in a negative headspace and you can't
get out of it, whether you're in a depressed or
there's something going on hormonally or mentally, and someone tries
to be like, look at the positive, it can be
so infuriating.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
And it's also like I was thinking, if you maybe
try to like say, hey, you've been a little negative lately,
I feel like you've been complaining a lot, that might
set her off even worse. Or if you suggest going
to therapy, that might set her off even worse.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Yeah, But I think at least with therapy you can
be like, hey, I really want to be there for you,
and I feel like I'm not doing it the right
way because I want to be like a positive spot
in your day, but I'm having a hard time reaching.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
You in that way.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
So I think that maybe going to a therapist and
having a third party can help me understand how to
be there to support you because if you're feeling down
or everything feels dark, you know, I don't want you
to have a life like that, And it's also hard
for me.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
As a partner.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Yeah, and I want to be able to be there
for you. So I know that every time there's couples
like issues, we're always like. But I just think it
adds an outside perspective and gives her a safe place
to talk about maybe what's causing it and get the
questions to be like what can you do to be
there for her? Because I don't think that it's fair
(45:16):
that you have to go through life walking on eggshells, yeah,
and having to just take the negativity without having a
response to it.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
And we also don't know. She didn't say how long
this has been going on.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
She said the last year.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
That's a long time.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
It's a long time. It does affect you.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Because like maybe I'm thinking, like hormones, things like that
happen in life. We all have seasons mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
But they've been together for six years, so I think
it's a safe space that you can be like, Hey,
I love you, I want to be here for you.
I don't know what's going on, but I'm not I'm
obviously not saying what you need to hear. But it's
also affecting me, So what can we do?
Speaker 7 (45:58):
Yeah, I learned way too late that when people are
in that mindset, they do not want to be told
about the bright side of things, because I always felt
that when I was like complaining or like seeing something
seeing something negatively, I wanted to be told Like I
was like looking for someone to say what you're feeling, like,
you know, you're blowing it out of proportion in your mind,
(46:18):
it's not actually that bad, but like that doesn't feel
the same as when you're telling it to somebody else.
And also, this person just wants to have their feelings validated.
When it's constantly like that it's been going on for
a year, I think this woman's depressed.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
Yeah, something complaining and constant negativity. That's like a headspace, Yeah,
I do have.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
I think there was a time when Haley was going
through stuff and she was really down and I would
try to be like, you know, see the bright side,
and she would get upset and be like, I just don't,
like that's not helping me. And I I think I
literally said, can you tell me what you need to
hear from me in these moments, because I want to
be helpful for you, and I feel like I'm trying
(46:59):
to show like a differ perspective to be like, you know,
excited about this.
Speaker 3 (47:04):
That's what I've.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Always been able to do, like even for myself, like
house to shift your perspective. But if you can't get
out of the depression or the darkness, then that's horrible
advice for that person. So I think that that's probably
about the time that we went to a couple's therapy
and that help, and it did.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
But some people like it, like I like, sometimes I
can go dark and I can spiral about stuff, usually
like it's about like age or whatever, and Robbie can
like really give me the like positive on it, you
know what I mean. Then he'll spin it. I'm not
spin it, but like really make me see the other side.
I'm like I needed that.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
So you either need a lawyer as a partner or
a therapist.
Speaker 8 (47:45):
Someone with a confidentiality and greement exactly.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
But good luck.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
I know this is hard, and I think that you
just being there for her but also suggesting you know
what you can do to help.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
But also I don't think that it's it's fair for
you to.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Have your days and energy brought down because you're scared
to speak up.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
I agree, and we love you and we love you,
and that's it for now.
Speaker 2 (48:14):
It is for now, but we'll be back on Thursday.
We have Gigi Caruso in studio in studio, so we
got to be talking to her all about her. She
has a foundation for it's called Here with You, which
is about her hearing loss journey, and she has a
brand that she's had for a long time.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Actually she's a entrepreneur.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
So we're gonna be talking to her about all the
things and we'll be back on Thursday.
Scrubbing In with and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Scrub dub dumb.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I'm not in a very good mood today. Wow, Like
I the period feels near.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
You still have gotten it?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
No, I'm always like, I'm not like right on the dot.
We can't start every conversation about my period. But yeah,
that's that's a little bit about me.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
So you're in a bad mood, a good mood.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just kinda like, e.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Well, I'm coming too.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
That's not good. You can't be when I'm and I
already claimed.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Eh, well, I amn't been a because I've been.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Weeks.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I know, no one week. It's been one week. It
is weird.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
It's felt like a long time.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
It's like a long time for me too. But let
me tell you Internally, I'm yeah, okay. Externally I'm that's fine.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Yeah, I need the internal too.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Well, let me tell you something. I if you're feeling black, eh, eh,
you made my birthday so special?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Really?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Like you made my birthday wow? Yeah? How it was
just you? It was all you?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, there really wasn't in competition actually everyone else is
out of town.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
No, but like, honestly, I really like and it was
so sweet. At the end of the day when we
got home and we're like getting ready for bed, Robbie
like looks at me and he was just like that
guys a really good friend. And I like started crying
because I was reading your card and I was like,
she really is, Like it was just like the perfect day.
It was like exactly what I wanted to do. She
(01:58):
took me to the spa, we got a massage, we
spent quality time. We sat by the pool, we had lunch, and.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
We were just like gal pals and dinner and dinner
all at one place, all at one place. We stayed
in one spot, and I don't know, just you just
really made my birthday.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
You made my birthday.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Wow, I'm so happy to hear that.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, because I sometimes feel like you're definitely a type
of person who loves. I feel like a group of people,
you know, like you love like friends and celebrating and stuff. Yeah,
and it was just timing. A lot of your friends
were out of town or you know, it was just
a weekend where people weren't available. So I was like,
I hope that I was. I was like, I hope
(02:44):
this felt like enough for her.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
It was more than enough. It was so nice.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
It was really fun. I had a great day as well.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Felt like quality time, which I loved.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
It was quality time.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, I had what I would say, also one of
the best massages I've had. You know how sometimes you
go to like if you you go with someone and
you both get a massage, one person always comes out
and they're like, that was the best massage I've ever had,
And then the other person comes out and they're like
that was terrible, Like I couldn't wait for it to
be over.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
I feel like that's how it always goes.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
And the girl that did mine was actually the girl
that when Tanya got engaged and she was getting a
massage at that spa, she handed her.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
The note wow. So yeah, so she was my massage therapist.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah. She was the first person I like cried to
and was like.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
I'm getting engaged.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Yeah, she had me right back.
Speaker 6 (03:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
So I was like, you're you're a star for uh,
like you're literally a story of the story.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So I had a really good massage and then I
got out and I was like, please let Tanya have
had a massage and she also had one, and then
we had lunch.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
I had the best beats I've ever had in her
life at the moment, it was definitely the best beats
I've ever had in my life. Did this last week
for Marky?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah, super setta however you say it.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
And so it was like the hot honey with.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Like the salami, the spicy salami, but it was just
cooked to perfection, was like so hot when it came out.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
We were by the pool. It was just like there
was nothing that.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
There were no notes, no notes, she had no notes.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
It was incredible. What was the place called Dante Dante?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah, yeah, shout out, shout out, and I gotta let
us wrapped cheeseburger. Yeah, it was actually really good.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Doesn't have the same Yeah it does.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Oh my gosh. When you're on your period.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
It's like I put super food and the super food
did that make No?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I don't get the joke.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
It's not. The joke was that you didn't understand grammar.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
That there's superfoods and there are superfoods, right, that's it.
You all made it like this big funny joke, and
I was like, there's no funniness to this the funny joke.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
The funniest part about it was that you didn't get
what we were saying.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I still don't think I get it.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
You get it.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
You just described it, so you do get it, okay, okay,
But there wasn't like an inside joke. It was just
intelligent people, three intelligent people.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
Wow wow second.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Yeah, but you know what, I actually didn't do it
over you know what I did it and do on
my birthday that I do every year on my birthday,
I always light the things on fire that I was
and because I just wasn't feeling well, like I wasn't
feeling my total self and I'm still not fully back
and I want to be really present, so I've just
like tabled that. But I'm still going to do it.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah, I think that intentions don't have to be on
a certain day.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah, thank you so much. You know, I use my
birthday as like the marker because I want to do
it every year. But it's like, I'm not going to
forget to do it.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
I think you will forget to do it. I'm not
going to I predict you won't do it.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
You're still not fully back.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I know, but just just bite you. I'm going to
do it today.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I was actually looking through all of our birthdays, your
birthdays that we've celebrated together, and there was one in
like twenty eighteen or something where we were at the
Maybourne Spa, but it was the montage.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Always I go back on because I go into my
memories and I can see, like, uh, there was a
birthday where we went to the beach.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Now up on fire yeah yea, yeah yeah yeah yeah,
yeah that was illegal.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
We were lighting snuff on fire on the beach, which felt.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
That's what they do, they like have bmpfires on the
beach and stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Yeah, we weren't in one of those areas anyhow, but
we set the intentions that night. Yeah, and then I
got home. We got home at the end of the night.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
And Robbie was like, Beca's a really great friend, I know.
And then she posts this reel that she made sends
me down another crying spiral. So you really turned it out.
I just to say wow, thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
All day. She was like, I'm just waiting for my reel.
I'm like, I like you, I'm literally wait you.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I'm trying to be present with you for your birthday.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I was, actually, you know what's so.
Speaker 6 (07:12):
Crazy, it's not special if you asked it for the
reel all day and then you gave you.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
A I knew it was coming. I was just waiting
for it. But the thing that was really interesting about
that day is like, I know that we're always like
on our phone, in our phones, posting and stuff like that,
and I on my birthday, like you get a bunch
of text messages, so you're responding to people and stuff
like that. I was so present that day, Like I
was super super present the whole day.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Yeah, I know, me too. And so that's when you
were asking about your reel. I was like, I'm torn here.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I haven't been that president at I haven't been that
present in a long time, which is like weird.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It's nice, huh, Yeah, it was nice. I went to
the beach on Saturday and I was there. It was
my friends Caroline and Arden had introduced me to them
and they just got engaged and so they had like
a big engagement party on the beach and I was
present all day. I literally didn't have my phone, it
was in my bag, and Robbie and Tanya had texted
(08:08):
me asking for recommendations for my Orca and I hadn't
responded because I mean that was like something that I
would take time and like respond to. It wasn't just
like a yes or no question. And I was driving
when I when they first texted me, and so I
put my phone down and just like was present all day.
And then Tanya is like, hello, is this thing on?
Speaker 1 (08:29):
We texted her at like nine am and I hadn't
hear back three or four pm.
Speaker 6 (08:33):
So I was like, hello, We're good for becr.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
That's when you like look at the gift of find
my friends that I have given you, and you.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Go, oh, she's at the beach. She's probably being present.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
You know, it's weird. I didn't even look at your
look at this weekend.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I don't use it for good. You don't use it
for good, just for me.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
The Yeah, So yeah, it was.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
So nice being present both those days.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Wow. Yeah I didn't have that after Thursday. Yeah, yeah,
I was just back on.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I hate like sometimes I just want to like toss
my phone and get a jitterbug.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
It's a jitterbug.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's funny. You should ask.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It's a flip phone with large numbers. It's for elderly
and it just basically is for like calling and it
has big numbers.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Because okay, so what is it You don't like to
engage with people or you want to do it on
your own.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Time being engaged with people, Like if I get to
meet people in person, like my dream would be to
do a scrubbing and meetup where like we go to
the beach and I can, like in person engage with people,
Like I love that, But.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
You don't like when people text you when you don't
want it.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
I hate that. I literally hate that that we are.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
At everyone's bacon call back in call with our phones,
like it bugs me a lot. So I love one
on one time, but I don't like that that you
feel like you have access to me anytime that you want.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
To have access to me.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
It feels personal.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
No no, no, I'm saying in like general, yeah, I
guess generally and you specifically, But like that people have
feel like they have access to us at all time
because it wasn't like that before smartphones.
Speaker 7 (10:16):
The thing I think about a lot is I saw
a picture of an old like computer desk and they
were like the person who read it was like you
used to sign off. You would walk away from this
and the internet stayed there, and now then it's with
you all that. Like it would feel so necessary to
be like texting someone like all right bye, like that.
Speaker 8 (10:30):
It feels weird to do in a text right right by?
Speaker 7 (10:33):
Yeah, you just keep talking forever, always run on sentences.
Speaker 8 (10:38):
Yeah, forever.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
So I'm gonna try this.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
What are you trying the jitterbug?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I'm going to be off next week and I'm going
to try to be off. Yeah, Let's see how long
I can.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
What does this mean, like not texting people, or not
being on social media, all of it. I think I
think you will feel so good doing it.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Let's see.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
When I went on The Bachelor, they took our phones
and I thought I was gonna hate it.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I loved it.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I loved that I only was focused on what was
happening right in front of me.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Well, let's see, let's see how it goes.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
All right, stay tuned for the date.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
I lasted one day on my birthday. It was great.
It was a great day and I just I wanted
again say thank you. And I had the best day
and I love you and you made it so special.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I'm so happy to hear that, and I had such
a great day with you, and it was so fun
to spend a full, full day with you. I would
have slumber partied if Robbie hadn't been there, and I
could have.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Where would I have slept?
Speaker 1 (11:46):
That's true. We could have put Robbie on the couch
and then we slept in the bed.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Okay, okay, okay, Well next time, yeah, next time. We
filmed a video last week of us doing the Charlie
XCX Apple brat Summer Dance, and I would say as
a collective unit, we all crushed it. But there was
one person in the absolute star of the show. According
(12:11):
to the comments.
Speaker 6 (12:12):
I got a lot of comments it was I was
shocked by.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
This, your daughter finally commented, because oh she did.
Speaker 6 (12:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
We have been try asking Mark, like, what do your
daughters think of this? When we post videos, and Mark
people are always like Mark, Mark, Mark, and You've always
said like they could care less.
Speaker 6 (12:31):
They could care less. But this one, for some reason,
because we was in a handful of these, this one
reached my family. My wife and kids both found this
without me having anything to do with it. Jach was
sent to them by their friend Viral I don't know,
there was no viral. I don't know, but my wife
had sent to her by one of her friends, and
my kids saw it and that's when she, Yeah, she
(12:53):
decided I'm going to get in on this because so many,
so many people were saying, what do his daughters think
on this?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Please? So what does she say?
Speaker 3 (13:00):
My dad is iconic?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
So yeah, it had six hundred and sixty five thousand
views on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Is that viral?
Speaker 6 (13:09):
I think that's viral.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
It's not. It's not super viral, but that's a lot
of Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
But then on and on TikTok it has one hundred
and eighteen thousand, but it Yeah, it definitely had a
good moment and it was hilarious. So I feel like
we should maybe start doing more choreography team.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
You know, if I'm gonna be honest, it wasn't as
hard as I thought it was gonna be.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Most things that you are scared to do aren't as
hard as you think.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
They're gonna be.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Let's dip into that. Beacka.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I think we set ourselves up with fear of thinking
I'm not a dancer, So how am I supposed to
learn to dance this fast? Before going let's see if
I can do it.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
So maybe what you're saying is I should write down
on the piece of paper that I'm gonna get rid
of doubt with a mass of paper my to burn. Right,
that's a good one. I'm gonna make it.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
And like fear of trying new things.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
I don't have fear of trying new things. I try
new things all the time. I'm tving my mouth shut.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Dread, dread of trying new things that aren't your things.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Nah huh.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Yeah, if it's what you want to do, you have
no issue trying to start sleeping with a chance. If
there's any other suggestion from people, then you're pretty pooh
poo it.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yeah, that's true right off the bat.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
Facts.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Also, I wanted to talk to you about what modern
woman is, what a modern woman is, because I've been
thinking about this thinking and I wanted to ask what
the actual definition is.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I'm glad you asked.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, but first we're going to take a break.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Sorry, all right, we're back.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
So your brand is modern Woman's modern woman energy.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
You are a modern woman. Yeah, everyone should be a
modern woman, louder for.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
The people on the back.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
But if people were like, what is the definition of
modern woman? What?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
What do you tell them?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I'm so glad you asked yeah, because the truth is,
you don't define a modern woman. You just are one.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
So there's no definition.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
There's no because it's a woman that is following the
desires of her own heart. So that's going to look
different from me to you, to Mark to Easton, it's
gonna look different.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
So there's no boundaries for the monetary, no parameters, and
no parameters.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
You fly, you march the beat of your own drum.
You listen to the desires of your own heart. You
go after what you want. If you want to be
a stay at home mom, you be the best stay
at home mom of your life. If you want to
be a CEO of that job, you be a CEO
of that. If you want to start your company, you
start your company.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
What makes that different than being a woman, Like, what's
the fiction.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
The full conviction, the doing it unapologetically, not having to
ask for permission, not being ashamed or embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
But what if it's something that's like not what if
it's something that's problematic for another woman? Like what I mean,
he's following your heart?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Oh, like I want to marry.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I was gonna say, Tom Cruise, he's not married, who's
married John Legend? But he's already married, So i'd have
to break up a marriage, right right, that's not modern woman.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
So there are parameters.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Well, just a moral compass, if you will.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Oh, okay, a moral compass, yeah, okay. So it's just
basically being a strong, independent woman.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Yeah, just and unapologetic is a big word right there. Unapologetic, unashamed, passionate, loyal,
fears strong, yeah, north star.
Speaker 6 (17:06):
But Becca makes a good point, like what if you're
going for that job and I want that job, I'm
gonna get that job. But a woman already has that job,
you're gonna you're gonna get her, get her.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Fired, Maybe she'll move on to a better job, maybe
she'll start her own company.
Speaker 7 (17:18):
I like the compass thing because the modern women and
that's it tells you where to go.
Speaker 8 (17:22):
Exactly, there's no limit, that's right.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
The modern woman energy is that compass, that that north
star that points you where you should go. Why do
you bring this up?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I was just asking because someone I've seen I've meant
to bring it up, like it was actually weeks ago
when there was something I posted with another friend of mine,
or I went maybe when I went to dinner with
Keana or Hungo Valley, and you.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Got a lot of time with Ka lately, a lot
of time with her friend Keana lately.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Thank Keana is terrified of you. She should should be.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
So I think it was someone said, how was this
modern woman energy?
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Like they responded to you or something.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Well, I like to claim my friends and I like
to do it passionately and aggressively, and that's modern north Star.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Okay, I still don't have full clarity, but as long
as you do, I think.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
That's what matters.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Love Island finale.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Did you watch?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Oh my gosh, how can I do this podcast?
Speaker 3 (18:28):
But I know enough. I've seen enough that we can discuss.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
You don't care about a spoiler alert?
Speaker 3 (18:33):
I know everything.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Okay, that's fine. It was a boring episode the finale. Yeah,
it's always boring.
Speaker 6 (18:40):
The thing that's the thing, always boring.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
So there's like, it's fun in the beginning, in my opinion,
it's fun in the beginning when they're like getting to
know each other, blah blah blah. When some bombshells come in.
Then there's like then cosa more is like very dramatic entertaining,
and then once they'll settle into their couples, it's like, okay,
let's wrap it up.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah, so once the once they find love, yeah, it's like, man,
but that's.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
What you watch it for us, for love.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Correct. But once I settle into the love, I don't
need to see I don't you know, to.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
See it unfold.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Take that to a reality show, you know what I mean?
Another another reality show where I can follow your love,
your life.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
So were you happy with the winners?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Wait, do you vote?
Speaker 2 (19:21):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Because I've never I've never watched in real time? Does
that make sense?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
I thought you watched this whole season a real time.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
This is the first season I've ever watched in real time.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
The whole thing, k was that you were upset because
they were so far ahead and you couldn't vote, or
you're watching old season.
Speaker 6 (19:35):
I know.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
And then I got here and I'm just like not
used to voting.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
It's just too much. It was too much, too much, okay, Okay,
So to the modern woman.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
The modern woman votes when she wants to vot, or
doesn't vote when she doesn't want to.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Know and To be honest, I wasn't like rooting for
any of them, Like, there wasn't one couple that I
was like, they have to win. To be honest, who
would you did it?
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Did who?
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Like? I wasn't compelled to vote, like I wasn't like
like when I'm watching the UK, I'm like, ah, can't
can't shance two years ago?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Okay, So the couple who won were you happy with it?
Were they who you were ready for the most? Should
we give a spoiler alert?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Spoiler alert?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
So if you have not watched those us in finale
Love ISLANDA and.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Have someone else stayed off social media to avoid spoilers.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Skip the next thirty seconds.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Okay, So the winners were.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Cordell and Serena.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
I'm actually happy.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I mean, I'm like, I liked it because in the
very first episode they coupled up together and they were
wearing the exact same color. So to me, it just
felt very meant to be.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, do you think the invisible.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
String, you know, like there was an invisible string tying
them together the whole way.
Speaker 6 (21:00):
Seconds by the way, okay.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
So you you were good with them, and then do
you think any of these couples lost outside of this show.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
No, I think they might. I think they they have
the best chance out of any of them.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
What's your prediction for length of time they stay together?
Speaker 4 (21:19):
A year?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Oh my god? Wow?
Speaker 6 (21:21):
Okay, but I like your idea of a different reality
show afterwards. You could call it Love Mainland.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yes, Love on the Mainland Yes. But I will say
the best little treat that we got last night was
ari Aanomatics confirming that they will have a reunion, which
I'm very looking forward to.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Is that not normal?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
No, I've never had reunions. Oh and I also was
watching Chicks in Office Fran and Rhea on Aftersun, which
was so cool. Do you know that they got there?
It was all like their listeners, like rallied to get
them there. That's so cool because they talked about it
so much.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
That's so cool. I know it's giving scrubber energy.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
It's giving scrubber energy. But I was like such a
fan watching. I've never I don't really like After Sun. Yeah,
but I was watching to support our.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Girls, love the Chicks thee.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
In the Office. Yeah, but I did message. I think
I messaged Fran because I want to know in real time,
like when was this filmed? Do you know what I mean?
When did they film after Sun? Because it airs on Saturday,
So like, did they film it on Friday? Is it
like twenty four hours ahead? Because it's all happening in
real time? But how much is real time? Real time?
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Is I should text them?
Speaker 1 (22:32):
I did? I mean, I I DMed her, but she's
probably inundated with all these dms.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
So the interesting part to me, what y'all can actually
contribute to this, even not watching Love Island, is that
they get off the show and they they haven't had
their phones. They don't know what's going on, and so
they have no idea if people like them or not.
You know, they don't know if they're going to be
liked or if they're going to be like the villain
or whatever.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
They just have no idea. So one of the girls,
her name is Leah, she I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I felt like just the recent episodes people became like
obsessed with her.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, because in the beginning I did not like her.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
She's just outspoken, she kind of spoke her mind, but
I didn't really I didn't know to.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Vote Andrea out. I was like, that's dirty, that is
not how you play Love Island. Yeah that's wrong.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Yeah, But anyways, she all of a sudden popped off
and she's like so popular, and she gets out and
by the time the.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Last episode aired, which I get, I guess they get.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
They don't get their phone till their final episode is aired.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
She has a million followers.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (23:34):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
For reference, the rest of them have like one hundred
to two hundred thousand.
Speaker 6 (23:39):
That's millions more people than watched our video last week. Yeah. Yeah,
it's viral.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
That's viral, and and people don't really get that type
of following anymore. Like when I feel like when I
was on The Bachelor, that kind of era, you would
get that type of following coming off of a reality show,
but a lot of people now with TikTok and stuff,
they don't have that same People just don't do the
follow like that anymore.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
For reference, with a Bachelorette this season, let's see, I
don't know how many.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Followers she has, but her season's airing.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Okay, then who was the last bachelorette besides her? Who
is before her?
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Uh? Who was before her?
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Charity lawsome charity lawson two hundred ninety four thousand.
Speaker 4 (24:20):
Followers and people love charity, so just for reference.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, so it's pretty crazy.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I was thinking about that, like coming off and not
knowing if you were gonna like we had anxiety every
week watching The Bachelor, being like, you know, what are
people going to say? Well, how what's this going to
look like? How this episode come together? And I can't
imagine the whole time thinking like I saw someone's uh
this TikToker say like she's gonna get out and she's
probably like, yeah, I might have a little bit of
(24:48):
a platform, but you go in so blind, you know, Yeah,
how crazy that must be.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
She's from La, Like, she lives just she lives just
up the freeway. So maybe we could try and get
her on the podcast. Yes, I would love to Sam.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Well, it was the most watched I think in the
whole series of Love Island. It was I want to
say it was or maybe just USA Okay, one of
the most stream shows of the summer over the last
few months.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Your bestie keeps winning? Are automatics?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Are you happy that it's over?
Speaker 6 (25:27):
You are with Sheila Burkhartzmeyer on Facebook and the Facebook
grouper posted my thoughts after listening this week's pod Love
Island is the New Station nineteen. You can't make me
watch Principle.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Oh my goodness. Well, I have a little bit of
like emptiness today, like I don't know what I'm going
to watch tonight. I'm like sad about it. I don't
have my sims to like check up on later.
Speaker 6 (25:55):
Nice sims.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
I never played a SIM, but I saw meme that
it felt very accurate.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I think the meme you're talking about was Arianna posted
like me watching like saying, oh, was it looking after
my sims or something.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I don't know what I'm gonna do. I might I
might watch old seasons.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yeah, maybe into Nature.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I had a full day with Phoebe yesterday speaking of nature,
because like Tanya's Birthday, I left her for all day
and then the beach day on Saturday, I left her
all day and I was having so much guilt. And
also she's not like I don't know what's going on
in your grass, she's digressing in her cough.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I haven't slept through the night in like a week
and a half, and we're both upset with each other
during those moments. Anyways, I was like I'm gonna take
her to the beach or take her to the park.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
And then we went to the beach and it was
so fun. She just like kept staring at me all day.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
And I saw this thing that was like taking your
dogs everywhere will slow you down.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
But like maybe that's the point emotional.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
I know. I like read this thing about like just
taking a dog on a ten minute drive does something
like stimulates them beyond whatever. And I'm like, I I
want to take her everywhere, Like I want to take
her everywhere.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Maybe hates the car though, so I.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
St sunny, but I think internally they love it. I
don't know. She likes to put her head out the
window and have the wind blows. She doesn't like like
she hates getting in the car, like she will stick
her paws on the ground.
Speaker 6 (27:31):
Like I think you should listen to her.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
No, So she has to go places like take her places.
But when she's in the car, she loves to have
her head out in the in the wind. She loves
it tails wagging her head's in the wind like free willy.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
But aside from those few moments where her head sticking
out the window, Phoebe is like a nervous wreck, anxious wreck, anxious,
very anxious.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yeah, but anyways, it was it was a nice day
with chicken.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
So I'm taking her just to the vet today because
now i think maybe she has a parasite and that's
what's causing the cough.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just like
googling everything I can.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
No and she can't tell you what's wrong.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
No, she she'll let out the worst sounding cough you've
ever heard. It'll be like it's two am. Every single night.
It's like write at two am, and we just stare
at each other, like she does this loud, like goose
honking cough and then she like stares at me, and
I like I'm sat.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Up like staring at her. We just look at each
other and I'm like, are you okay? We just lay
back down. Yeah, it's tough.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
It's tough.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
You got an or a ring? Speaking of sleep, I.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Did get an ring. Yeah, nobody is Like I've been
like waiting for somebody to be like, hey, cool or
a ring, and like nobody's said it.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Kind of like it's not as like fresh and new
as it once was.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
What like I think people would have expected you to
already have one.
Speaker 6 (28:55):
Yeah, that was very twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Well okay, so what took so long? It's new and
I'm doing it to to monitor my temperature with my ovulation.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Oh I see, that's right.
Speaker 6 (29:11):
It begins my advance. What begins the process?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yes, my hyper fixation of my ovulation if I am ovulating. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
early it does.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
But that's okay.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Early on time is on time. However, I've been hyper
focused on my sleep pat patterns and I'm like so
hyper aware of my sleep patterns it's like crazy, and
I get so excited when I wake up and I
have like optimal sleep, and I got into like the
good rem numbers and stuff like I feel like I'm
(29:47):
like a student at school.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
But if you do bad, do you overthink it?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Or are you just like, oh, I had a bad
night of sleep or you like what did I do different?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Well, because I've been like six so it's been hard
because I'm like I could tell I had a bad
night's sleep, you know, like I was coughing all nights,
Like that makes sense. I didn't get to ram or whatever.
But yeah, I'm like super.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
Fixated on my or ring I surround myself with people
who have fixations, and I don't know how this happened
because I don't.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
I don't do it really and maybe I do and
it's not I need to think about this because I'm like,
do I have fixations?
Speaker 3 (30:22):
But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I don't recognize them as fixations. But Tanya specifically and.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Ali specifically, well, it'll be all of.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
A sudden, it's like I can't eat anything out of
plastic containers.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Everything must be glass, and they get rid of every.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Plastic container in their house or then it's like I
need to take I should be eating. Ali went through
the space where it was like two she had to
eat two dates for her gut health, and I'm like,
how oh no, that.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Is so funny.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
But isn't that interesting that you attract Like maybe what.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Is your opposite?
Speaker 6 (31:03):
Yeah, like opposites attract.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
I suppose kind of something.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
No, Honestly, it is weird, like how much Ali and
I hyper fixate on things and like it'll be that
thing of the moment, right.
Speaker 6 (31:18):
It's the episode of your sitcom like we've talked about
in the past.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah, Like it is like that is like I am
so hyper focused on that right now.
Speaker 6 (31:25):
Right this week time to gets an orr ring. That's
a show, right, yep?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
And and Ali will go, oh yeah, I was talking
to Tony about this, and I'm like, y'all aren't allowed
to talk. It's too much like fixation in one space.
But what I really appreciate is that for a minute
they were talking in a group chat that I was
involved in, and I was like, I don't want to
be here, like y'all please take this side, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
So I have to be grateful.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I have to be grateful that they have continued their
own conversation. But it's just interesting that you like attract
the opposite even in friendships, you know, because like Haley
and I are very opposite.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
But it's interesting to me because I do feel like
you just don't have It's not that you don't care,
but like you really you embody care free energy.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Because it's just a lot of effort to try and
control everything.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
It's like you don't care about anything. And that comes
off like in a negative way, but it's not.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I don't take it that way.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
It's not. It's like it's she's so cool, calm and
collected about everything, Like I don't know how to explain it.
It's so interesting to me. I wish I had that.
Speaker 8 (32:35):
Do you seem very balanced? That's what I thout.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
I just don't feel like I have as much control.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
I think.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I think there's this Okay, I started thinking about this
all of a sudden, and maybe it's because we have
social media, so people have an outlet to get their
information out and it has potential to go viral and
reach people. But all of a sudden, there's experts on everything.
It's like, all of a sudden, your cortisol levels, Hi,
this is what you need to do.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
And it's like I had never even heard about my
cortisol levels.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
So it's like, why, all of a sudden are there
are all these experts and why in the ancient times.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
We didn't have any of this stuff and everyone.
Speaker 6 (33:12):
Was fine living longer.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Really, I thought they lived way longer back in the day.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
No, So it's funny that you say that, because I
feel like ever since my hashimotoves diagnosis, people will like
come to me asking me for like medical advice, and
I'm like, I'm not a doctor, nor do I ever
claim to be. And I try to like say that
as so much because I'm like I don't. I'm very
much an advocate for like be your own biggest advocate,
because everything isn't a one size fits all, right, So
(33:45):
I think that's like my mentality is like really dig in, like,
don't take one person's word for it, get several opinions,
and like do your research.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
But I appreciate that because you've had you had your experience,
and that's what you share.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
But you're not trying to be like, this is what
you have to do. You're just like, this is what
I did.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yeah, you can try it if you want, right, But anyways,
it's like tracking our sleep. It's just like there's all
these things where I'm like, but are they kind of
come out ten years later or five years from and
be like that was so bad for you to wear
that electronic thing on your finger and sleep in it.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
I think about that too. I think about that with
electric cars too. Are you sitting on a cell phone
all day?
Speaker 6 (34:24):
Yeah, that's possibility. I think about that with AirPods. Everyone's
got air pods. Yeah, And I resisted because I think
you're just beaming cancer into your head. I don't think
it's great, I know, but we'll never know until it's
too late for everybody.
Speaker 5 (34:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Shoot that that ORR rings reminds me of the promise
ring that Robbi.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
It does, it does give. It has similar similar qualities,
except that this is smaller. The or A ring is
smaller bea.
Speaker 6 (34:49):
The life expectancy in eighteen sixty was thirty nine years old.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
I'm talking like ancient. I'm talking a full time.
Speaker 6 (34:56):
Oh my god, I'm not really well. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
I didn't realize that. Okay, then I take it back.
Maybe there's knowledge with knowledge is health.
Speaker 6 (35:10):
And power, technology and medical.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
But no, it's like so true because I look at
you and I'm like, I wish I had some of
your energy just in general. But sometimes I think it
swings like too far because you're like the last person
to walk on a plane.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I was about to talk about but because you brought
up gate and anxiety at the airport, which what exactly
how would you define gate anxiety?
Speaker 1 (35:35):
So let's say I have to pee so bad, like
I'm about to pee. I've been holding it through the
TSA line. I am through TSA and there is a
bathroom right there. I cannot go to that bathroom that's
right there. I have to go to my gate first,
make sure that the gate is there, make sure that
it's going to my destination, make sure that everything is fine,
and then I can relieve myself. I have to get
(35:56):
to the gate before I can do anything.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Just because it may have changed.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
It may have changed, it may be it may not exist.
I might have seen something weird. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
But if you're at the airport, how early do you
get to the airport?
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Two hours depends if it's like quick flight or if
it's like international.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
I'll go.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
I'll try to be there an hour before.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Oh, an hour before international.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Like make sure that I'm like at my gate an
hour before.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Okay, so you have enough. You have plenty of time
to go pee and then go see your gate.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Correct, But I can't do it. No, I have to
see the gate.
Speaker 6 (36:37):
Yes, I have to make sure my gate exists. Yeah,
and then I can go do other things.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah. Yeah, get a sandwich and get a salad.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
You can get a sandwich too, that's fine, right whatever, Yeah,
not everyone's gluten free.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Yeah, but like, I can't do any of that until
I see my gate.
Speaker 6 (36:52):
Yes, you have to prove it exists and that it's
going to the right place. And everything's fine.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Yeah, it's all on the same time.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Why couldn't it change after you look at it?
Speaker 1 (37:01):
It certainly can, and it has. It definitely has.
Speaker 6 (37:04):
That's what the app is for. But I still need
to see it with my own eyes first.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Check the people out. How many people are there.
Speaker 7 (37:12):
I'm also afraid that if I go to like the bathroom,
I go to a restaurant, I'm not gonna be able
to find, like, I'm gonna get lost. But if I
look at the gate first, it's done.
Speaker 8 (37:20):
I know where that is. Then I can go off
check check.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Wow, okay, great, you don't have that.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I just trust that my updated texts that are coming
through or are accurate, and I get there right when
it's time to get on the plane. That's my dream.
When I walk up and they're boarding, I'm like, this
is perfect.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
I've timed it, honestly, saying that would give me so
much anxiety if you were already and I when I
arrive and people are standing, like.
Speaker 6 (37:52):
Oh no. If people are standing and I walk around
the corner, I'm like, oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Stands for no just standing around in the way for
no reason.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Its like if everyone sat down until their group was called,
that group stands up, lines up. We are animals. When
when I get off the plane, when I'm.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
Waiting for bad any of y'all do this.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
When I get off the plane and I'm at baggage
claim and there is a row of men with their
knees up against the luggage belt your suitcase, just stand
back because as soon as I go and someone's to
my way, I'm so aggressive with it, like I will.
I don't mind if I hit them in the elbow
or in the hip because I'm like, get out of
(38:35):
my way, scoop back like a normal person and wait
for the bag to get there.
Speaker 7 (38:44):
With THEO drives me crazy because I always have that
big case of gear when I'm having somewhere and like
I have to knock an old lady.
Speaker 8 (38:50):
Down to get it. It's a bummer. I don't want
to assault anybody.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Yeah, I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
I don't have any issue like elbowing a man, but
like I'll be gentle if it's an old lad.
Speaker 6 (39:00):
You know what I do hate we're talking about plane
behavior is when the plane stops, you're on the plane
and the clap nope, And that's kind of nice stop
lights come on. Everyone stands up. So that's together thing
that the people in the back decide, I'm getting off
this plane first, and they walk down the aisle as
far as they can, right past you, like there's a
way to get off the plane. It goes, it goes,
(39:22):
it goes. People just said no, I'm going and then
there's the You look up and there's just somebody standing
in the aisle next to your seat. Drives me nuts.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
That also drives me nuts, and I just have to
hope that maybe they're rushing to catch another flight, And
that's just what I have to think, because otherwise there's
just no excuse for that behavior. You really, the airport
brings out the absolute worst qualities in every single person.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
I don't think so, No, it does. It does agree.
Speaker 6 (39:50):
We were getting our luggage once at LAX and it
was delayed, like the luggage were taking forever to come off,
and because there were so many flights landing at the
same time, and because of that, there were so many
hundreds of people and baggae claim all at the same time.
And on top of that, for some reason, an alarm
was going off and it was a high pitch alarm
and it was like, this is a social experiment. This
(40:11):
is like how long before these people start to murder
each other? It's like the Hunger Games in here. This
is insane. So yes, I agree with you.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Not the worst, Yeah, but I love watching people reunite
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
That's a good part. Oh my gosh, I like this
Hailey so much.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I'm like done, Like it's I get to see her
this weekend. So I'm like, I think, because I know
it's close, there's this feeling of like the I think
I've had to be strong for two weeks where I'm like,
I'm good, we'll get there, the time will come. But
this week, and maybe because of my period, I'm like, I'm.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
Done, I'm done waiting. When are you leaving Thursday?
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Wow?
Speaker 6 (40:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Is she gonna pick you u from the airport?
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Probably not, She's probably working, But it's okay.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Airports always get me emotional because I always think about that.
I'm like someone's leaving and saying goodbye and someone's greeting
them on the other side, or someone's waiting, yeah he
sounds waiting to see them.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
But also there's been like this power outage or power outage.
Speaker 7 (41:13):
I set that to my phone background to fit in
with everybody, the blue screen and the little sad face
that CrowdStrike. It was a cybersecurity company uploaded a bad
update took down the computers.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
I think, dang well.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
I also had this thing because we always think of
people leaving and then going to see each other, but
it's also thinking about the people that are traveling for
like every occasion, like going to celebrate someone or going
to grieve someone. And like people were like saying they
were missing weddings and funerals because of this outage, and
I was like, oh my gosh, like beyond just the
frustration of trying to go somewhere, even if work or whatever,
(41:49):
it's like big events that people, you know. Yeah, anyways,
we have a anonymous Dear bonya request, but we're gonna
take a break and we'll be up.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
All right.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
We are back, So we have Dear Bonnie help from
anonymous Mark.
Speaker 6 (42:25):
Thank you so much loving the weekly segment. Dear Bonia,
and I would love your advice from my own situation.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
Please.
Speaker 6 (42:29):
I'm a female. I've been a relationship with my girlfriend
for six years now. She's always said that part of
the reason she felt for me was my positive outlook
on life, including when things go wrong. Well, the last
year or so, she's become such a negative person. It
truly affects my energy being a female myself. I try
to understand mood shifts, hormones, but it's a daily thing.
At this point, within the first hour of being awake,
(42:51):
it's complaints and it's going to take it home. It's
how bad everything throughout the day has gone. When I
try to spin things around, look at the positive, it's
now taken that I'm not seeing her feelings. How do
I approach this without a completely hurting her. I want
to be a supportive partner, but it's truly draining. Thank
you for the weekly laughs. I definitely need them.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
This sucks because it's so valid to have bad days.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
And like want your partner to just be like, I'm sorry,
Like that sucks, but a daily occurrence would be so
drain exhausting.
Speaker 6 (43:27):
Sorry, we have no advice for your.
Speaker 8 (43:30):
Good luck.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
Well, I think here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Is she like going through something like is she depressed?
Or like maybe there's something that we're missing, some information
that we're missing.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Yeah, I think that when you are in a highly
defensive state, there's no.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
Like, there's no win for the other person.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Because if you're in a negative headspace and you can't
get out of it, whether you're in a depressed or
there's something going on hormonally or mentally, and someone tries
to be like, look at the positive, it can be
so infuriating.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
And it's also like I was thinking, if you maybe
try to like say, hey, you've been a little negative lately,
I feel like you've been complaining a lot, that might
set her off even worse. Or if you suggest going
to therapy, that might set her off even worse.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Yeah, But I think at least with therapy you can
be like, hey, I really want to be there for you,
and I feel like I'm not doing it the right
way because I want to be like a positive spot
in your day, but I'm having a hard time reaching.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
You in that way.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
So I think that maybe going to a therapist and
having a third party can help me understand how to
be there to support you because if you're feeling down
or everything feels dark, you know, I don't want you
to have a life like that, And it's also hard
for me.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
As a partner.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Yeah, and I want to be able to be there
for you. So I know that every time there's couples
like issues, we're always like. But I just think it
adds an outside perspective and gives her a safe place
to talk about maybe what's causing it and get the
questions to be like what can you do to be
there for her? Because I don't think that it's fair
(45:16):
that you have to go through life walking on eggshells, yeah,
and having to just take the negativity without having a
response to it.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
And we also don't know. She didn't say how long
this has been going on.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
She said the last year.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
That's a long time.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
It's a long time. It does affect you.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Because like maybe I'm thinking, like hormones, things like that
happen in life. We all have seasons mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
But they've been together for six years, so I think
it's a safe space that you can be like, Hey,
I love you, I want to be here for you.
I don't know what's going on, but I'm not I'm
obviously not saying what you need to hear. But it's
also affecting me, So what can we do?
Speaker 7 (45:58):
Yeah, I learned way too late that when people are
in that mindset, they do not want to be told
about the bright side of things, because I always felt
that when I was like complaining or like seeing something
seeing something negatively, I wanted to be told Like I
was like looking for someone to say what you're feeling, like,
you know, you're blowing it out of proportion in your mind,
(46:18):
it's not actually that bad, but like that doesn't feel
the same as when you're telling it to somebody else.
And also, this person just wants to have their feelings validated.
When it's constantly like that it's been going on for
a year, I think this woman's depressed.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
Yeah, something complaining and constant negativity. That's like a headspace, Yeah,
I do have.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
I think there was a time when Haley was going
through stuff and she was really down and I would
try to be like, you know, see the bright side,
and she would get upset and be like, I just don't,
like that's not helping me. And I I think I
literally said, can you tell me what you need to
hear from me in these moments, because I want to
be helpful for you, and I feel like I'm trying
(46:59):
to show like a differ perspective to be like, you know,
excited about this.
Speaker 3 (47:04):
That's what I've.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Always been able to do, like even for myself, like
house to shift your perspective. But if you can't get
out of the depression or the darkness, then that's horrible
advice for that person. So I think that that's probably
about the time that we went to a couple's therapy
and that help, and it did.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
But some people like it, like I like, sometimes I
can go dark and I can spiral about stuff, usually
like it's about like age or whatever, and Robbie can
like really give me the like positive on it, you
know what I mean. Then he'll spin it. I'm not
spin it, but like really make me see the other side.
I'm like I needed that.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
So you either need a lawyer as a partner or
a therapist.
Speaker 8 (47:45):
Someone with a confidentiality and greement exactly.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
But good luck.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
I know this is hard, and I think that you
just being there for her but also suggesting you know
what you can do to help.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
But also I don't think that it's it's fair for
you to.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Have your days and energy brought down because you're scared
to speak up.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
I agree, and we love you and we love you,
and that's it for now.
Speaker 2 (48:14):
It is for now, but we'll be back on Thursday.
We have Gigi Caruso in studio in studio, so we
got to be talking to her all about her. She
has a foundation for it's called Here with You, which
is about her hearing loss journey, and she has a
brand that she's had for a long time.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Actually she's a entrepreneur.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
So we're gonna be talking to her about all the
things and we'll be back on Thursday.
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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