August 22, 2024 • 39 mins
It’s another round of Ask Banya! Find out what happens during a work fling that’s straight out of a Grey’s episode, how Becca reacts to road rage, and how to handle a sibling’s partner that NOBODY likes!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing in with Beca, Tilly and Tanya wrap an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in scrub dub dumb California.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
I love scrub dub dup scrub dub dub.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
I do it every week.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
At tune. It's a Dear Bonnia episode. So congrats.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Everybody was about Tommy and Molly, So thanks for nothing.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Thing still just the allegations, just allegend.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Yeah, just the alleged I will have.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I do want to say last week's or yeah, last
week's Dear Bonnia episode. I answered a question about Haley
and Crystal posted the video. The video thank you so much.
It was hard to get out and I so much love,
and it was such a conversational thing that I didn't
intend for it to be like a moment, Like I
(01:10):
really didn't intend for it to be a moment. I
was just you know, giving advice. And I also feel
like I've said a lot of those things on like
Instagram and questions and stuff. So it was funny in
like the nicest way. How how much love I.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
Got that I would have thought about her forever is
like out of a movie.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Honestly, Yeah, it needs to be like a name of
one of her songs.
Speaker 6 (01:29):
Honestly, someone was like the way back, so casually just
said like the most romantic ever. But again, I feel
like I've said that before, so I felt like I
was repeating myself.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
You weren't. You've never said any of that before.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I guess on my maybe somewhere else I've said it.
I don't know, or I've thought it.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
I don't know, but or you probably said it to
like people in the comfort of your own.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Walls, just me and Phoebe Phoebe before, maybe I would
have thought about her forever. I thought about it. Yeah,
but thank y'all. It's true, like I always have felt
so supported by the scrubbing and listeners of scrubbers and
you guys, and Easton does make me feel like I
could cry every time I talk about him look at him.
(02:12):
So that's sweet. Yeah, But anyways, we have more questions
to hard hitting questions and emails.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
And and Mark is back here.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I am still with the mask.
Speaker 7 (02:25):
Take the mask off, I can yeah, okay, see that
I'm not going to see.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Give him a real voice.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
This is the muffled, is not it anymore?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Just right there. We go, spewing germs everywhere.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
I have an open container over here.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Okay, but that has been sitting there for a gross time.
I think she needs to be done.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
From anonymous, I'll be honest.
Speaker 7 (02:49):
I'm not no g scrubber, but was introduced to your
podcast on a recent road trip with mcgal Palace.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
We're all devoted scrubbers and they had it on.
Speaker 7 (02:56):
They gave me the lowdown, and I love both of
your stories and also the dynamic of the four of you.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
So I'm now a listener.
Speaker 7 (03:01):
I'm writing because I know I am a Becca to
the core, and I wanted to ask her how Haley
deals with her personality. I'm almost a year into my
relationship and I love my boyfriend, but he has difficulty
dealing with my aloofness and avoidant attachment style. I very
much related to Becca when she mentioned in a recent
podcast but wanted to sometimes throw away her phone because
everyone has access. I am so this. I sometimes turn
(03:24):
off my phone as I wind down and not even
my boyfriend gets through, and he gets frustrated. It's not
that I don't love him, it's just me. I've been
like this all my life. You and Haley have been
together a while now, can you give me any advice
on this front. I don't know if I will change
or if I want to. I just know I want
to be with him love A dedicated a listener.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Now, oh, first of all, thank you for yeah, have
you what do you call it? Like a influenced listener,
Like someone who just happened to be in the car just.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Got their cherry pop Jesus, it's really.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
What the old scrubbing and cherry.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Bob every single of us at some point for seven years.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
True, So anyways, welcome after that. Here's the thing that
complicates this advice for me is because Hailey is the exception.
She's not the rule. She's the exception.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Does everybody know what famous movie that is from?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I know the phrase, I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I used to watch it every Friday night. Tanya is
the main character. We've talked about this so many times.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
You're kind of the main character.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
He's just not that Indian.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
It's just not that into you.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Great movie. I watched it on the plane to gosh. Okay,
we can't get sidetracked. So I really like Hailey is
the only person who has been able to climb over
this wall that I have built. She has a special
ladder and so she's been able to access access to
(05:06):
me in a way that no one ever has been
able to and so she is the exception to that.
So I think it would be really hard. I think
it would be really really hard for her if I
was still aloof and needed space in the way that
I have needed in the past. Because like even sometimes
(05:27):
when we're going to bed, He'll be like about to
enter rim sleep and she's like, hey, can you look
at me so we can connect.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Before we're going to bed, and about she is so mean,
I'm like thirty.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Minutes to connect for like before I was about about
fall asleep. So I do think that would be really
hard for her. But I think the challenges that you know,
you want to be with him, so he hasn't been
able to access that place that like Hayley's been been
able to access for me. But I think it's just
having dedicated time and maybe also having a conversation when
(06:00):
you can fill yourself needing that distance in space, like
giving him loving reassurance that it's for you, it has
nothing to do with him, and letting him know that
you love him. But you need to like fully cut
yourself off from like conversation like anyone needing you, because
sometimes you just don't want to be needed. And that's
just I'm not I'm just gonna stick up for the
(06:22):
boyfriend here, you know, just I agree, I'm I'm with them,
I get it.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
I'm just gonna say that relationships are compromise, and if
he needs a little reassurance while you're winding down, maybe
you find a happy medium, you know what I mean,
Maybe you don't turn the phone off, Maybe you like
give him like the whatever the thing is that they
can go straight to your ringer or whatever, like you
just compromise, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
But I think I think that's what I'm saying, Like, Hey,
I'm about to put my phone on silent, and I
love you so much I cannot wait to catch up later.
I'm just gonna like disconnect for a minute. I love you,
And that way there's no like feeling of being ignored
or he didn't know it was humming and feels like
just shut off without a warning, because I think anyone,
(07:04):
even I would be hurt if someone if Haley just
was like I need to shut down, I need space
and didn't give me a heads up and then she
just put her phone. Well, do not disturb. I'd be upset.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
I'd be losing it, we know.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
So do y'all have any advice if you're because if
if if your wives did that or while y'all were dating.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, that would that would that would freak me out.
I think I would like it. I'm I'm more like,
tell ya, I'm always connected.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
But what would make you feel like that?
Speaker 7 (07:39):
Yes, hey, I love you, I'm going on, I need
to disconnect for a couple of hours.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
And then I'm kind of like, well, I don't count right,
I don't count as right.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
I know I would feel like from me should connect right.
Speaker 7 (07:50):
So I think that's great. I think that's the best
you can do. But it still might lead the insecurities.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
That was something that was really hard for me to
get over because I dated a lot of women that
would like if they were mad, they just wouldn't talk
to me or something like. That was a thing that
was like, So if I didn't hear from Alison for
like a few hours, oh gosh, she's mad at me,
you know. And she sat me down on a and
she's like, if I'm mad at you, I will tell
you right away.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
You will not.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
You will know immediately that I have that something is wrong.
That's not how I do things. I don't just like,
we'll ignore you forever. So if I'm ignoring you because
I'm doing something else, or my phone died, or I
just don't want to be on my phone, you don't
have to worry. And that was great, and uh, that's
and so sometimes I don't want to hear from her
for days weeks at a time, and it's cool.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, I don't know, and part of me goes, is
this your person? But it sounds like she's really I
feel like you were getting at but it sounds like
to that access, she sounds like she's sure that this
is her person.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
I don't know if she's sure.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
She says, I just know that I want to be
with him.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Yeah, I'm not, that's not my person. I'm not seeing
her say this is the one.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I mean, she's and some basically those different words. I
just know I want to be with them. I think
you try this. I think you try communicating when you
need space, reassure him, give him love so that he
knows that you're not abandoning him and that's what I think.
I think that will help.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
There we go next up another anonymous I have a
question after hearing the Becca Moore podcast.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
You guys talked.
Speaker 7 (09:24):
About either to tell your friend if their partner is cheating,
and my anxiety arose because I've been dealing with this
exact issue. My friends live overseas, but we're home for
a funeral earlier this year. My friend, the wife went
home earlier than the husband.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It happened.
Speaker 7 (09:38):
I happen to be out with a single friend one
night and for fun, we were going through her tender matches,
and later that night she sent me a screenshot of
my friend's husband on Tinder. I've really struggled but whether
or not to say anything. They have a family, and
because they live overseas, I don't really one hundred percent
know their situation, Like maybe they have an open marriage,
they don't talk about it. I've been struggling because I
(09:59):
don't want to be the per and that could potentially
blow up a family.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Help. I have a great advice for this. I think
you take us you take the screenshot, or say hey,
my friend, I think there's someone using your husband's photo
and I just want to let you know, they're using
his photo on a dating like they're using him on
a date, which I very well could be they could be. Yeah,
but that way you're off the hook because you're like,
(10:23):
you're not saying he's cheating, You're just saying, hey, uh,
his photo and name is being used on a day.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Is this ostentatious that he hasn't? Thank you so much?
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It happened after I
became demir. If he is that ostentatious to be on
a dating app with a family with his photo, then
he deserves to be caught.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Well that's the thing. You may still blow up the family,
but this family needs to be blown up.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
They can blow it up within themselves. And all you
did was like, hey, I'm trying to help out. Yeah right,
you did not. You will not be responsible for whatever
happens with this, but because you know it will release
your conscious right.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
You can say, like, I think somebody's catfishing, ye, your
husband's photos. This is so crazy. But then to put
it on her to get to the bottom.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Of it, said, hey, what's going on with this?
Speaker 6 (11:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Is this you?
Speaker 4 (11:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, boom. Good advice, But.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
That was actually pretty quick on your feet.
Speaker 7 (11:21):
I need some advice about what to do in a
post real life Gray's romance. I'm a nurse and I
started hooking up with one of the surgeons back in April.
A few weeks in a dating I found out he
had been seriously dating another of our co workers, but
was on a break when we started things. He went
on a trip with her for his birthday and lied
about going on the trip, saying he was going by himself.
(11:43):
When she came back ten and with a Hawaii necklace,
I knew it wasn't the coincidence. We stopped talking for
a bet. He said some really hurtful things. We saw
each other every day at work. We were in procedures
together with him and his girlfriend awkward. So slowly he
came back into my life, shut her back with our
daily phone calls, and would hook up here and there.
(12:03):
Fast forward to now I don't work at that hospital anymore.
I've moved across the country. The girlfriend ended up hearing
a rumor from one of the other surgeons that I
slipped and told months ago, and she.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Broke up with him.
Speaker 7 (12:14):
He won't confirm it because he knows it will kill
her to know the truth. The question is, so, here's
the deal. They're not together. I don't work there, but
she's been fishing for answers, reaching out to some of
my friends from work and trying to contact me.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Should I be honest with her? Or do I move
on and let it go?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
There's more?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
But wait, there's more.
Speaker 7 (12:35):
He recently put his resignation in because of the whole situation.
I feel horrible that he lost his girlfriend and his
job because of our secret fling. Do you think telling
her would help me feel better about the whole situation
or what do I do?
Speaker 4 (12:50):
There's something that just makes me so uncomfortable about like
this actually being reality. It's like soakes really it's so funny,
or like oh, watch on grays now. I mean then
thinking about like somebody getting surgery and having like that
weird dynamic in the surgery room makes me so uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
That they could be just like working on someone saving
their life while.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
They're like awkward tension, or like someone's thinking about the
someone's wiener, like you know what I mean, Like I
don't know, there's just all of it just makes me so.
Speaker 8 (13:20):
Uncozy that my mind didn't go there once the wiener
but that's common for me, and that's common.
Speaker 7 (13:32):
Less than anyone in this room. I would imagine you
think about Wieners less than anyone in this room.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Honestly, think about Wieners all the time. Like I'm not joking.
They crossed my mind at least a minimum of three
times a day, just like the general like the gens,
well Robbie's obviously, but like just the magic of it,
like like throws and my I don't know it, just
all of it is so fascinating to me, Like we
(13:58):
don't have a body part like that us.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, right right, thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
That's very interesting, fascinating.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
I do I think about I will say, at least
three times a day.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
They are fascinating.
Speaker 7 (14:10):
You're right, yeah, they are a very unique part about
the part of the right.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
And my robb is like, you guys have boobs. It's
kind of the same thing, you know, it's just.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Not they turned into torpedoes.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
And could launch miss.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Material.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
You know. This is the thing. I'm curious about this
what if if people, well women think about this multiple
times a day. I feel like you're h hit me up.
I don't know what I've learned about the scrubbers as
Tonya is never as the tots are strong.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
The tots are strong and they have weird minds.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I appreciate that you called them the tots without any
arguments catching on, isn't it?
Speaker 8 (14:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:55):
I like them.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Okay, anyways, back we decide the anonymous. Here's my thing.
I don't think there's any reason that you need to
talk to her, Like you have moved on, you're not
working there, you're not with him, you're not talking to him,
you don't see her. However, if you feel like it
will somehow make you feel better about the situation by
(15:21):
talking to her and like giving her honest truth because
it sounds like this guy just lied to everyone he
was involved with, then I say, have a phone call,
but like, you don't need to be best friends with her.
I don't.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
This happened to me once. Actually, was I with you?
I can't remember where I was. I was on vacation
with was it you?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
No, you were on vacation I think with Paulina and Sophia.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Okay, that's what I thought that I thought. And then
some girl called me who was dating a guy that
I dated in my past, and basically asked me she
said she saw my name and his phone and she
thought that he was cheating with me, I guess, And
I was like, you could not be farther from the truth,
like this is so I talked to her. I mean
it was like a brief con wasn't sitting there like
(16:01):
chit chatting and having a long conversation. But I talked
to her and was like, he's her mind. Yeah, because
I can't remember again. I think I was reaching out
about We were texting about something super super inocuous. Thank you,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Did you get the own diction yeary.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Ostentatious? I'm not inocuous, but yeah, So I told her.
I was like, yeah, I hit him up because something,
and he responded it was literally nothing. If he is
cheating on you, it's not with me, So keep your
searching because 'tis not me.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah. I think it sounds like it'll it will probably
ease your mind, and he's her mind if y'all just
have a conversation and can talk about it. But I
just am saying, if you're ready to move on and
let it be in the past, let it be in
the past.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
And don't feel horrible that he lost his girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Yeah, that thing to do with you or her. This
was his doing and he's a liar.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
And if you would feel better talking to her, talk
to her, you know, women.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Loving women wlwi WP platonic.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, you get it all off your chest. You'll feel better.
Maybe you'll feel better maybe just you know, yes, I
say it's fine, do it. Can we take a break?
Would you guys?
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Mind?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Oh my god?
Speaker 7 (17:20):
Oh he's the next one. Mikayla's got one coming up
and it is religion based.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Icy coming back.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
All right, we are back, and this is from Mikayla.
Speaker 7 (17:52):
MICHAELA says, I'm a huge Frian of the podcast. I'm
a fairly religious person and believe that God showed me
this podcast when I really needed it.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Thanks God.
Speaker 7 (18:00):
I know that both of you are modern women with
a strong faith, but you also go against some of
the typical rules of what a Christian should do swearing, sexuality, sex, etc.
Despite the judgments of other Christians, you hold true to
your faith and ignore would people think of you. So
my question is how do you block out other people's
judgments of your faith. I'm going through an interesting faith
(18:21):
journey right now, and I find myself thinking about what
other people think about my faith more than what God does.
How do I stop that? Any advice would be very appreciated.
Love you both in the podcast is amazing.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
So nice. Thank you Michaela, Thanks Mikaelea. People are critical.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Of every little.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Thing, and people judge for every little thing, and I
find it I have such a different opinion because I
just feel like my faith is my relations my relationship
with God. That is something that's mine. Nobody can take
that from me, nobody can judge that. Or if you do,
then that's on you. Like I would get DMS all
the time a woman of God. How do you believe
(19:01):
in the zodiac? And I'm like, if you don't, then
you don't. It's a fun, silly thing that I like to, like,
you know, like play around with and think about and
engage with, and like I just find it fun and silly.
It's not that deep. I think that's kind of where
my mentality is. So I just think people are going
to judge you for everything, and I think you just
have to not care what people think about you.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
I think when it comes to like the rules of
Christianity output rules quotes, every single person likes to cherry
pick which parts they choose to judge people based on
and I will say, actually, the hardest thing I have
had to navigate is judge is is worrying or trying
(19:47):
not to care about what Christians think about me. Like
I think, out of anyone that I've gotten like negativity
or hate from, they have been people of faith, and
so I've had to just go, you know what, like
we disagree with each other, like they dis agree with
who I love and who I'm in a relationship with.
And to be honest, some of these people, if there
even if it's a heterosexual relationship, and if the guy
(20:10):
is someone that I would disagree with and his beliefs
and how he treats woman or something, I could be like,
I don't agree with who you're married to or who
you're in a relationship with. So I think it's like
I at this moment where I realized that I could
just go on this rant about how much I love
doctor Pepper, and the people who love Coke will always
(20:30):
be like, how could you love doctor Pepper over Coke?
Like it's the og, how could you love that more?
And it's like you there is someone that's always going
to have an opinion on something that you do, whether
it's faith related, what you eat while you're saying just
totally innocuous. I don't know or word of the podcast,
(20:52):
but I think that the whole thing with faith, and
I do think it's different because I grew up in
it so like it all the rules and what's right
and wrong. We're like ingrained in me at a very
developmental age where I soaked everything in, so like trying
to navigate what I believe and where I stand in
my faith, in my relationship with God has been such
(21:13):
a challenge because when you're told something when you're young,
it feels like that's the truth and there's no other
truth and there's no room to question it. So when
you get older and you start questioning something that's been
your truth for so long, it's so scary and you
either have to like go through it and see the
light at the end of the tunnel, or you just
(21:35):
stay in the place where you are where you're like,
I'm now questioning something that I can't find the answer to.
And the truth is I don't know a lot of
the things. I'm not a scholar. I only know what
else Tanya is a scholar today. That's right, but I
think you just I think what you said is like,
having a relationship with God is such a personal thing,
(21:56):
and I think that you need to focus on what
that is over what other people think, because people will
always have an opinion.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
And you're so right about the rules. People cherry pick
they're like, well you're a Christian, you shouldn't do this',
but they're swearing and they're drinking.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
And it's like, when you really look at it, like
pick what. Literally, you can meet any single Christian and
if they have a judgment for you, they could cherry
pick something, and you could cherry pick something too. On
the flips contrast, yeah, contradict.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Taking religion out of it.
Speaker 7 (22:28):
The biggest gift you can give yourself is to stop
caring what other people think about you and what you do.
And I really try to express this to my daughters,
and it doesn't seem to be working because they care.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I get it.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
It's very debilitating, it really is when you care about
what people think so deeply, like it really can, like
it can change the trajectory of your life, like truly.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
But just remember you could be the ripest, juiciest, most
beautiful peach on a tree and there's still someone who
just doesn't like peaches.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Yea, like I prefer a watermelon.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Yeah, but it doesn't I mean you've done anything wrong.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I'm in a pretty good place with it.
Speaker 7 (23:02):
When I was younger, I remember if I would get
honked at when driving, whether I did anything wrong or not,
it would rock me, like the whole drive home and
the rest of the day I'm thinking.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Like, oh man, that got honked at me.
Speaker 7 (23:13):
Like I'm like, it would bother me so much, like
I'd be a little bit mad, but also embarrassed and
also like like was he right?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Did I do something wrong? I would really bother me.
Speaker 7 (23:23):
And now I'm like, hey, how you doing okay? Whatever,
and then you move on. I'm in a much better
place with it. But I guess we'll have to go
on that journey.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
Yeah, we do. We go on that journey.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Just return it with road rage, which is also something
that I need to work. It's not the right problem,
it's not, but it's better than just like feeling debilitated
by their cruelty.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
I'm always just like, God, bless you, God bless you.
You must be having a horrible day that you need
to honk your horn that much at me, Like sometimes
I hope your day turns around.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Sometimes I can have a gentle spirit and I can
do that, but sometimes I get I get on their
tail until they in the studio. One day and someone
a guy cut me off and I honked at him
to let him know he was in my lane and
he had his middle finger up to his windshield. I
(24:12):
saw in my rear view he had it up, and
then as he passed me, he did it, and I've
slammed on my horn and like chased him until I
did get off that.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
No, don't get don't the bird he gave me the bird? Also,
who does that anymore?
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Like you grow up like.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Me?
Speaker 4 (24:31):
No, the guy that was flicking you off.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
The finger does dated doesn't give me?
Speaker 4 (24:39):
Yeah, it's giving my get on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Speaking of what are we doing that dance? You sent
us a dance a few weeks ago?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Oh my god, I don't even know if it's trending anymore.
Speaker 7 (24:49):
But we can try anonymous h beca Tanya Mark and Easton.
I'm a huge Day One fan. I'm one Tanya to
my core. But people please are like Becca, Yeah, how.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
We're viewed the people pleaser?
Speaker 4 (25:06):
You are you always talk about how your people please are.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I think we're all kind of people pleaser.
Speaker 5 (25:11):
Skurvers are like I'm Atania because I'm insane, or I'm
a becket because I like fast food.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, characteristics.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Anyway.
Speaker 7 (25:22):
I dated a guy in high school for two months.
We broke up, and I started in my now husband.
We've been together for eight years now. We live in
a small town. We run into this guy and his
now wife a decent amount.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
I think she really hates me.
Speaker 7 (25:34):
I thought I was just overthinking it for a while,
but after the past few years, anytime I'm around, she
will grab him to leave or intentionally ignore me. I mean,
this is in high school for two months. She's also
made comments to mutual friends that she doesn't like me
because of us dating prior. Him and I never talk
unless we see each other out and say hello, nothing more.
It all seems so silly, but I let it bother me.
This kind of gets back to what we're talking about
(25:56):
other people's opinions. I haven't reached out to her a
few years back and expressed how I'm happy for the
two of them, and I hope that we're good.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Do you have any advice moving forward.
Speaker 7 (26:04):
I wish I could just not let it bother me,
but public situations are super uncomfortable, even for a quick hello.
I don't want there to be tensioned. But is this
a lost cause to care about making better? Ps currently
going through infertility and IVF and your podcast has been
a top source of cheering me up.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
So love you guys. That's very nice.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Well, first of all, anonymous, good luck on your IVF journey.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah, good luck. We're thinking and prying for a beautiful.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Boisterous Is that like a big lots more energetic.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
How about just a happy result?
Speaker 4 (26:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Happy result? Yeah, but we love you.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So this is really interesting because when I was in
San Diego, I had this thing with this guy and
it was I wouldn't even call it a thing, Like
we kissed a few times, that's a thing, but like
I'm saying, like it was, yeah, we made out of
a couple of times, three times. No, No, it was
(27:05):
very quite innocent. But he was like super Christian. I
think I was like his first kid. Like it was,
but in the in the in that time, it felt significant,
but like in the grand scheme of things, it's nothing.
He then fell in love with his now wife, who
he was he is obsessed with, like since high school,
he's been obsessed with her, and she even to this
(27:26):
day still has me blocked on Instagram from seeing her page.
And I just think it's the weirdest thing. Like I
ran into them. They live I think in La now
and I ran into them at a like a breakfast
spot with Haley, and I was like, Oh, it's my
girlfriend Hailey and just cold as ice to me, and
I'm like, God, I mean, I guess that's just someone't
(27:48):
my girlfriend women, And I just it bothered me, like
for a long time, and after that, I was like,
what a miserable Like she just has a lot of
insecurities and feels like whatever that comes from is not
my issue to worry about anymore.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Yeah, honestly, I have a it's not the same situation,
but I had to have somebody in my life that
it is very uncomfortable. Yeah, whenever we're around him, it
does get very tense and there's like this awkward tension
and it's just it's just the cross I have to bear.
But I too have somebody in my life that it's
(28:30):
so awkward. And I, again, I did nothing wrong blocked
me on social media, like really just does not like me,
and I again, did absolutely nothing wrong in the situation,
and it would it got to me for a very
long time, like it would I would just fixate on
it because I was just I would make me upset,
like does it like it seeps into my happy, positive
energy and it makes me dark because it's so dark
(28:53):
and like who cares. It's like, get over yourself. But
at the end of the day, there's literally nothing that
you can do. Quite literally, you've told them I'm happy
for you, guys like you can not you're married, Like,
there's nothing that you can do. People are just going
to be bitter or be whatever they are, and you
just have to let them be.
Speaker 7 (29:11):
People hate that there's anyone else in the world that
has made out with their partner or slept with their
partner or seen their partner naked or all that stuff.
It drives them crazy because they let it drive them crazy.
You're right, there's nothing you can do. Kill her with
kindness when you see her be the better person, and
that's it. It's her issue to deal with and she's
not going to deal with.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
It, no, sadly, and it's it's got nothing to do
with you. I think it would be any woman that
had that looked at him in a romantic way. So
all you can do is be kind and try to
not ever be around her as much as you can.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah, why we shall leave the town as we grew
up in.
Speaker 7 (29:47):
By the way, this is why we need to get
out of town, go see the world a little bit,
because when you grow up in the small towns, these
things fester.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yes, but you're doing great, and you're you're amazing, and
we love of you.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
How many more do we have time for? Beckaly?
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I would say we have time for one? Pick a
good one. One more.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
We're getting dicey on the time.
Speaker 7 (30:12):
One more, but I have to take a break, see
that one more, so we'll make it a butte.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Okay, all right, we're back for our final dear question.
Speaker 7 (30:37):
Dug through the whole mail bag and shows this one
for the last one today.
Speaker 4 (30:42):
You don't have a mail bag.
Speaker 7 (30:43):
We have a big mail bag mail box, Yeah, says
two back, and it's spell wrong.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
It's cute.
Speaker 7 (30:51):
My sister has been with a guy for seven years.
They recently got engaged. In My entire family and extended
family all dislike him. They started getting young, so I
think at for we all just saw him as being immature.
He'd grow out of it one day, But boy, he
never has. My sister does everything around the house and
gives him whatever he wants. Whenever he has an opinion,
my sister automatically agrees with him without any question. He
(31:13):
makes comments and does things that are rude without even
realizing it. For example, he proposed and had an engagement
party on the same day as my cousin's high school
graduation and the instead. If my cousins loved my sister,
they'd find a way to be the engagement party. He
once told my dad he doesn't need to help my
sister out around the house because he makes more money
than she does. He will come over to use my
(31:33):
dad's tools to work on his car and not even
come h to come and not even come in to
SAYHU to the family. These are just a few of
the many examples as to the point where every little
thing he does drives our family crazy.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
What do we do?
Speaker 3 (31:47):
You know?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I was saying earlier that like if someone I used
to get so defensive about someone not like supporting my relationship,
like I would get like, how could they it's just love,
you know, And now I see like these things, I'm like,
I would never support someone.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I really like this. I don't have to help out
around the house because.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Rage. It's so I know.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
But here's the thing. Rage to you, rage to me,
rage to you, It is not rage to this anonymous.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Sister that sounds brainwashed.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Whatever the case may be. I feel like the problem
is because I I have been so many situations in
my life where like, not it doesn't it's not happening
to me, but like there are people in my life
who don't like the person that this person is dating,
or their brother or their sister or whatever their cousin.
And I feel like when you get involved, especially when
(32:45):
it's this far down the line, like speak up. If
it's early days and they're dating somebody and they're saying
some of this stuff, like I would throw up a
flag and be like that sounds sus and like I
would really reassess. But I feel like when it gets
to this, oh my life, I feel like when it
gets to I feel like, what it gets to this point,
like you can't you can't say something without damaging your
(33:05):
relationship with your sister, Like you just can't.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
I just should have said yes sooner.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
I mean, it's sad they started dating when they were young.
Speaker 7 (33:16):
So I'm sure that the sister has like self esteemishes
she doesn't think she can do any better than this guy.
And also there's a chance that she really does love
him and there's something about him that no one else
is seeing. She knows him better than anybody else. But
also when you start dating so young, you don't know
what else is out there, you have nothing to compare
it to.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
But also like, you're not the savior.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah, you know, I'm a sibling.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
What she can do.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
You're not the savior. You're the sibling, and your job
as the sibling is to support your sibling. And if
it ends up, if they end up divorced, you're gonna
be there to pick up the pieces.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't really know.
I really don't know what to say because I think
a whole family plus extended family hating someone speaks volumes.
And I think that when you're in a bad situation
and you are not able to see how people view
(34:09):
your partner in a negative light, I think that's concerning
Because I think.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
I don't think you realize, what if this all this family,
if the family and the extended family they all come
out and they say we don't like this person and
why it needs to be like whatever it is, then
your sister is going to turn into a shell and
she is going to be inward and she's not gonna
trust anybody, and she's gonna be go further and further
or deep into this relationship. He's gonna be the only
(34:36):
thing that she has. She's gonna it's just gonna. I
just I just don't think you're thinking it through.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I don't know though, because then it's like she gets
married and then has to deal with legal stuff if
something goes down. I just think it's worth having a
conversation with her privately, not like a family meeting, but like, hey,
when he says things like this, does he ever say
those things to you? Like is he? I don't know.
I think there's a heart to heart that you can
(35:04):
have as a sister. I feel like if my sister
was dating someone who I didn't think was healthy, I
would I would have a heart to heart with her
and say like I love you, and what I see
as your sister is can be hurtful some of the
things that he says. So I just want to make
sure that you that this is what you want to
(35:24):
go through with, because marriage is a big deal.
Speaker 7 (35:28):
Are you happy? That's the key is are you happy?
Because if she is, then I think you got to yeah,
step away.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Are you? Are you genuinely happy? Is this how you?
Is this the person that you envisioned yourself getting married
to and the person you envisioned having a life.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Is he going to be a good dad?
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yeah? I think it's just asking question. Sometimes it's hard
to ask questions. Sometimes it's hard to like have hard
conversations out of fear that you're going to push them
further away. But I think not having the conversation opens
up more problems for her down the road. That's my opinion.
(36:02):
You have different opinions.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah, that's beauty.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
That's the beauty of this podcast.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
You get a little bond, you get a little you know,
you little Bonnie, a little yeah you, little Bonnie, and
then you decide.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
And then you decide. We will be in Palm Springs
as mentioned before. So okay, firstly, let me let me
let me go back. If you ever have any uh,
dear Bonnie questions you can always d m us on
Instagram at scrubbing in pod or email us at scrubbing
In at iHeartMedia dot com. And as for this weekend
in Palm Springs, we are going to be doing a
(36:39):
truth or Drink episode, which we know y'all love, so
submit your questions too.
Speaker 7 (36:46):
I think Crystal is going to put a sorry, no no, no,
no no, please finish you.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
I think Crystal is going to do like question box
on Instagram. Sorry, check out that insta hit that insta.
Speaker 7 (36:56):
Can I give some parameters because it's really hard to
come up with good truth or Drink questions.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Here's what the reason is.
Speaker 7 (37:05):
Tanya answers everything, so it's hard to find stuff she's
not comfortable answering. That's why I remember at the live
showing in West Hollywood, the question was what's the.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Largest object you ever put in your rear end?
Speaker 7 (37:18):
Because it's weird to ask a question that Tanya might
not be comfortable answering, and even that.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
So really think.
Speaker 4 (37:29):
Something maybe different, something you'd like.
Speaker 7 (37:31):
To know about Tanya that she might be uncomfortable asking.
Same with Becca. Becca has a different tolerance for stuff
that makes her uncomfortable as answering but so you need to.
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Find Becca drinking the whole time.
Speaker 7 (37:42):
But we also don't want to ask a bunch of
stuff that Becca would never answer in a million years.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
So that's like a fine line. We got to find.
Speaker 7 (37:48):
Here questions that Becca will answer and stuff that Tanya
would think twice before answering.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Might take a shot.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
That's why it's hard. But we'll do our best. Then.
I'm sure you come up with good stuff. You always do.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah, so really put your thinking cap on for this.
And then and then another teaser. We're going to epic Con.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
Yeah, we're.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Wow, the Old City, the City of the Bean, the Bean.
Speaker 4 (38:22):
We should go to Juliana Ransay.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
You said was going to RPM.
Speaker 4 (38:28):
Yeah, are you down?
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Sure?
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Yeah, Okay, great.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
I think there's a lot of restaurants there, so maybe
we can get a list together and see what comes up.
So cute. Well will she be there? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
I don't know. I imagine like when people have restaurants that
they're just like sitting at the entrance greeting everyone, welcome
to my restaurant.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I don't think she's there, but maybe she can meet
us for a drink or something. Yeah, but we're gonna
go to Epicom. We're going to interview grays and that
I mean, I mean a lot of people from all
different TV.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Show worlds, like Responders.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
We're not interviewing first or spowners, people that play them
on television, right right, We're interviewing a lot of actors.
So that's coming up in September. But we love you
all so much. Love you have a great weekend. Bye bye,
Scrubbing in with Beca, Tilly and Tanya wrap an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in scrub dub dumb California.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
I love scrub dub dup scrub dub dub.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
I do it every week.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
At tune. It's a Dear Bonnia episode. So congrats.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Everybody was about Tommy and Molly, So thanks for nothing.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Thing still just the allegations, just allegend.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Yeah, just the alleged I will have.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I do want to say last week's or yeah, last
week's Dear Bonnia episode. I answered a question about Haley
and Crystal posted the video. The video thank you so much.
It was hard to get out and I so much love,
and it was such a conversational thing that I didn't
intend for it to be like a moment, Like I
(01:10):
really didn't intend for it to be a moment. I
was just you know, giving advice. And I also feel
like I've said a lot of those things on like
Instagram and questions and stuff. So it was funny in
like the nicest way. How how much love I.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
Got that I would have thought about her forever is
like out of a movie.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Honestly, Yeah, it needs to be like a name of
one of her songs.
Speaker 6 (01:29):
Honestly, someone was like the way back, so casually just
said like the most romantic ever. But again, I feel
like I've said that before, so I felt like I
was repeating myself.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
You weren't. You've never said any of that before.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I guess on my maybe somewhere else I've said it.
I don't know, or I've thought it.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
I don't know, but or you probably said it to
like people in the comfort of your own.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Walls, just me and Phoebe Phoebe before, maybe I would
have thought about her forever. I thought about it. Yeah,
but thank y'all. It's true, like I always have felt
so supported by the scrubbing and listeners of scrubbers and
you guys, and Easton does make me feel like I
could cry every time I talk about him look at him.
(02:12):
So that's sweet. Yeah, But anyways, we have more questions
to hard hitting questions and emails.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
And and Mark is back here.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I am still with the mask.
Speaker 7 (02:25):
Take the mask off, I can yeah, okay, see that
I'm not going to see.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Give him a real voice.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
This is the muffled, is not it anymore?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Just right there. We go, spewing germs everywhere.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
I have an open container over here.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Okay, but that has been sitting there for a gross time.
I think she needs to be done.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
From anonymous, I'll be honest.
Speaker 7 (02:49):
I'm not no g scrubber, but was introduced to your
podcast on a recent road trip with mcgal Palace.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
We're all devoted scrubbers and they had it on.
Speaker 7 (02:56):
They gave me the lowdown, and I love both of
your stories and also the dynamic of the four of you.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
So I'm now a listener.
Speaker 7 (03:01):
I'm writing because I know I am a Becca to
the core, and I wanted to ask her how Haley
deals with her personality. I'm almost a year into my
relationship and I love my boyfriend, but he has difficulty
dealing with my aloofness and avoidant attachment style. I very
much related to Becca when she mentioned in a recent
podcast but wanted to sometimes throw away her phone because
everyone has access. I am so this. I sometimes turn
(03:24):
off my phone as I wind down and not even
my boyfriend gets through, and he gets frustrated. It's not
that I don't love him, it's just me. I've been
like this all my life. You and Haley have been
together a while now, can you give me any advice
on this front. I don't know if I will change
or if I want to. I just know I want
to be with him love A dedicated a listener.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Now, oh, first of all, thank you for yeah, have
you what do you call it? Like a influenced listener,
Like someone who just happened to be in the car just.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Got their cherry pop Jesus, it's really.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
What the old scrubbing and cherry.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Bob every single of us at some point for seven years.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
True, So anyways, welcome after that. Here's the thing that
complicates this advice for me is because Hailey is the exception.
She's not the rule. She's the exception.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Does everybody know what famous movie that is from?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I know the phrase, I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I used to watch it every Friday night. Tanya is
the main character. We've talked about this so many times.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
You're kind of the main character.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
He's just not that Indian.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
It's just not that into you.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Great movie. I watched it on the plane to gosh. Okay,
we can't get sidetracked. So I really like Hailey is
the only person who has been able to climb over
this wall that I have built. She has a special
ladder and so she's been able to access access to
(05:06):
me in a way that no one ever has been
able to and so she is the exception to that.
So I think it would be really hard. I think
it would be really really hard for her if I
was still aloof and needed space in the way that
I have needed in the past. Because like even sometimes
(05:27):
when we're going to bed, He'll be like about to
enter rim sleep and she's like, hey, can you look
at me so we can connect.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Before we're going to bed, and about she is so mean,
I'm like thirty.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Minutes to connect for like before I was about about
fall asleep. So I do think that would be really
hard for her. But I think the challenges that you know,
you want to be with him, so he hasn't been
able to access that place that like Hayley's been been
able to access for me. But I think it's just
having dedicated time and maybe also having a conversation when
(06:00):
you can fill yourself needing that distance in space, like
giving him loving reassurance that it's for you, it has
nothing to do with him, and letting him know that
you love him. But you need to like fully cut
yourself off from like conversation like anyone needing you, because
sometimes you just don't want to be needed. And that's
just I'm not I'm just gonna stick up for the
(06:22):
boyfriend here, you know, just I agree, I'm I'm with them,
I get it.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
I'm just gonna say that relationships are compromise, and if
he needs a little reassurance while you're winding down, maybe
you find a happy medium, you know what I mean,
Maybe you don't turn the phone off, Maybe you like
give him like the whatever the thing is that they
can go straight to your ringer or whatever, like you
just compromise, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
But I think I think that's what I'm saying, Like, Hey,
I'm about to put my phone on silent, and I
love you so much I cannot wait to catch up later.
I'm just gonna like disconnect for a minute. I love you,
And that way there's no like feeling of being ignored
or he didn't know it was humming and feels like
just shut off without a warning, because I think anyone,
(07:04):
even I would be hurt if someone if Haley just
was like I need to shut down, I need space
and didn't give me a heads up and then she
just put her phone. Well, do not disturb. I'd be upset.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
I'd be losing it, we know.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
So do y'all have any advice if you're because if
if if your wives did that or while y'all were dating.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, that would that would that would freak me out.
I think I would like it. I'm I'm more like,
tell ya, I'm always connected.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
But what would make you feel like that?
Speaker 7 (07:39):
Yes, hey, I love you, I'm going on, I need
to disconnect for a couple of hours.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
And then I'm kind of like, well, I don't count right,
I don't count as right.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
I know I would feel like from me should connect right.
Speaker 7 (07:50):
So I think that's great. I think that's the best
you can do. But it still might lead the insecurities.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
That was something that was really hard for me to
get over because I dated a lot of women that
would like if they were mad, they just wouldn't talk
to me or something like. That was a thing that
was like, So if I didn't hear from Alison for
like a few hours, oh gosh, she's mad at me,
you know. And she sat me down on a and
she's like, if I'm mad at you, I will tell
you right away.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
You will not.
Speaker 5 (08:13):
You will know immediately that I have that something is wrong.
That's not how I do things. I don't just like,
we'll ignore you forever. So if I'm ignoring you because
I'm doing something else, or my phone died, or I
just don't want to be on my phone, you don't
have to worry. And that was great, and uh, that's
and so sometimes I don't want to hear from her
for days weeks at a time, and it's cool.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, I don't know, and part of me goes, is
this your person? But it sounds like she's really I
feel like you were getting at but it sounds like
to that access, she sounds like she's sure that this
is her person.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
I don't know if she's sure.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
She says, I just know that I want to be
with him.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Yeah, I'm not, that's not my person. I'm not seeing
her say this is the one.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I mean, she's and some basically those different words. I
just know I want to be with them. I think
you try this. I think you try communicating when you
need space, reassure him, give him love so that he
knows that you're not abandoning him and that's what I think.
I think that will help.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
There we go next up another anonymous I have a
question after hearing the Becca Moore podcast.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
You guys talked.
Speaker 7 (09:24):
About either to tell your friend if their partner is cheating,
and my anxiety arose because I've been dealing with this
exact issue. My friends live overseas, but we're home for
a funeral earlier this year. My friend, the wife went
home earlier than the husband.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It happened.
Speaker 7 (09:38):
I happen to be out with a single friend one
night and for fun, we were going through her tender matches,
and later that night she sent me a screenshot of
my friend's husband on Tinder. I've really struggled but whether
or not to say anything. They have a family, and
because they live overseas, I don't really one hundred percent
know their situation, Like maybe they have an open marriage,
they don't talk about it. I've been struggling because I
(09:59):
don't want to be the per and that could potentially
blow up a family.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Help. I have a great advice for this. I think
you take us you take the screenshot, or say hey,
my friend, I think there's someone using your husband's photo
and I just want to let you know, they're using
his photo on a dating like they're using him on
a date, which I very well could be they could be. Yeah,
but that way you're off the hook because you're like,
(10:23):
you're not saying he's cheating, You're just saying, hey, uh,
his photo and name is being used on a day.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Is this ostentatious that he hasn't? Thank you so much?
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It happened after I
became demir. If he is that ostentatious to be on
a dating app with a family with his photo, then
he deserves to be caught.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Well that's the thing. You may still blow up the family,
but this family needs to be blown up.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
They can blow it up within themselves. And all you
did was like, hey, I'm trying to help out. Yeah right,
you did not. You will not be responsible for whatever
happens with this, but because you know it will release
your conscious right.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
You can say, like, I think somebody's catfishing, ye, your
husband's photos. This is so crazy. But then to put
it on her to get to the bottom.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Of it, said, hey, what's going on with this?
Speaker 6 (11:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Is this you?
Speaker 4 (11:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, boom. Good advice, But.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
That was actually pretty quick on your feet.
Speaker 7 (11:21):
I need some advice about what to do in a
post real life Gray's romance. I'm a nurse and I
started hooking up with one of the surgeons back in April.
A few weeks in a dating I found out he
had been seriously dating another of our co workers, but
was on a break when we started things. He went
on a trip with her for his birthday and lied
about going on the trip, saying he was going by himself.
(11:43):
When she came back ten and with a Hawaii necklace,
I knew it wasn't the coincidence. We stopped talking for
a bet. He said some really hurtful things. We saw
each other every day at work. We were in procedures
together with him and his girlfriend awkward. So slowly he
came back into my life, shut her back with our
daily phone calls, and would hook up here and there.
(12:03):
Fast forward to now I don't work at that hospital anymore.
I've moved across the country. The girlfriend ended up hearing
a rumor from one of the other surgeons that I
slipped and told months ago, and she.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Broke up with him.
Speaker 7 (12:14):
He won't confirm it because he knows it will kill
her to know the truth. The question is, so, here's
the deal. They're not together. I don't work there, but
she's been fishing for answers, reaching out to some of
my friends from work and trying to contact me.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Should I be honest with her? Or do I move
on and let it go?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
There's more?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
But wait, there's more.
Speaker 7 (12:35):
He recently put his resignation in because of the whole situation.
I feel horrible that he lost his girlfriend and his
job because of our secret fling. Do you think telling
her would help me feel better about the whole situation
or what do I do?
Speaker 4 (12:50):
There's something that just makes me so uncomfortable about like
this actually being reality. It's like soakes really it's so funny,
or like oh, watch on grays now. I mean then
thinking about like somebody getting surgery and having like that
weird dynamic in the surgery room makes me so uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
That they could be just like working on someone saving
their life while.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
They're like awkward tension, or like someone's thinking about the
someone's wiener, like you know what I mean, Like I
don't know, there's just all of it just makes me so.
Speaker 8 (13:20):
Uncozy that my mind didn't go there once the wiener
but that's common for me, and that's common.
Speaker 7 (13:32):
Less than anyone in this room. I would imagine you
think about Wieners less than anyone in this room.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Honestly, think about Wieners all the time. Like I'm not joking.
They crossed my mind at least a minimum of three
times a day, just like the general like the gens,
well Robbie's obviously, but like just the magic of it,
like like throws and my I don't know it, just
all of it is so fascinating to me, Like we
(13:58):
don't have a body part like that us.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, right right, thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
That's very interesting, fascinating.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
I do I think about I will say, at least
three times a day.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
They are fascinating.
Speaker 7 (14:10):
You're right, yeah, they are a very unique part about
the part of the right.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
And my robb is like, you guys have boobs. It's
kind of the same thing, you know, it's just.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Not they turned into torpedoes.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
And could launch miss.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Material.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
You know. This is the thing. I'm curious about this
what if if people, well women think about this multiple
times a day. I feel like you're h hit me up.
I don't know what I've learned about the scrubbers as
Tonya is never as the tots are strong.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
The tots are strong and they have weird minds.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I appreciate that you called them the tots without any
arguments catching on, isn't it?
Speaker 8 (14:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:55):
I like them.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Okay, anyways, back we decide the anonymous. Here's my thing.
I don't think there's any reason that you need to
talk to her, Like you have moved on, you're not
working there, you're not with him, you're not talking to him,
you don't see her. However, if you feel like it
will somehow make you feel better about the situation by
(15:21):
talking to her and like giving her honest truth because
it sounds like this guy just lied to everyone he
was involved with, then I say, have a phone call,
but like, you don't need to be best friends with her.
I don't.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
This happened to me once. Actually, was I with you?
I can't remember where I was. I was on vacation
with was it you?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
No, you were on vacation I think with Paulina and Sophia.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Okay, that's what I thought that I thought. And then
some girl called me who was dating a guy that
I dated in my past, and basically asked me she
said she saw my name and his phone and she
thought that he was cheating with me, I guess, And
I was like, you could not be farther from the truth,
like this is so I talked to her. I mean
it was like a brief con wasn't sitting there like
(16:01):
chit chatting and having a long conversation. But I talked
to her and was like, he's her mind. Yeah, because
I can't remember again. I think I was reaching out
about We were texting about something super super inocuous. Thank you,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Did you get the own diction yeary.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Ostentatious? I'm not inocuous, but yeah, So I told her.
I was like, yeah, I hit him up because something,
and he responded it was literally nothing. If he is
cheating on you, it's not with me, So keep your
searching because 'tis not me.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah. I think it sounds like it'll it will probably
ease your mind, and he's her mind if y'all just
have a conversation and can talk about it. But I
just am saying, if you're ready to move on and
let it be in the past, let it be in
the past.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
And don't feel horrible that he lost his girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Yeah, that thing to do with you or her. This
was his doing and he's a liar.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
And if you would feel better talking to her, talk
to her, you know, women.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Loving women wlwi WP platonic.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, you get it all off your chest. You'll feel better.
Maybe you'll feel better maybe just you know, yes, I
say it's fine, do it. Can we take a break?
Would you guys?
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Mind?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Oh my god?
Speaker 7 (17:20):
Oh he's the next one. Mikayla's got one coming up
and it is religion based.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Icy coming back.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
All right, we are back, and this is from Mikayla.
Speaker 7 (17:52):
MICHAELA says, I'm a huge Frian of the podcast. I'm
a fairly religious person and believe that God showed me
this podcast when I really needed it.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Thanks God.
Speaker 7 (18:00):
I know that both of you are modern women with
a strong faith, but you also go against some of
the typical rules of what a Christian should do swearing, sexuality, sex, etc.
Despite the judgments of other Christians, you hold true to
your faith and ignore would people think of you. So
my question is how do you block out other people's
judgments of your faith. I'm going through an interesting faith
(18:21):
journey right now, and I find myself thinking about what
other people think about my faith more than what God does.
How do I stop that? Any advice would be very appreciated.
Love you both in the podcast is amazing.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
So nice. Thank you Michaela, Thanks Mikaelea. People are critical.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Of every little.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Thing, and people judge for every little thing, and I
find it I have such a different opinion because I
just feel like my faith is my relations my relationship
with God. That is something that's mine. Nobody can take
that from me, nobody can judge that. Or if you do,
then that's on you. Like I would get DMS all
the time a woman of God. How do you believe
(19:01):
in the zodiac? And I'm like, if you don't, then
you don't. It's a fun, silly thing that I like to, like,
you know, like play around with and think about and
engage with, and like I just find it fun and silly.
It's not that deep. I think that's kind of where
my mentality is. So I just think people are going
to judge you for everything, and I think you just
have to not care what people think about you.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
I think when it comes to like the rules of
Christianity output rules quotes, every single person likes to cherry
pick which parts they choose to judge people based on
and I will say, actually, the hardest thing I have
had to navigate is judge is is worrying or trying
(19:47):
not to care about what Christians think about me. Like
I think, out of anyone that I've gotten like negativity
or hate from, they have been people of faith, and
so I've had to just go, you know what, like
we disagree with each other, like they dis agree with
who I love and who I'm in a relationship with.
And to be honest, some of these people, if there
even if it's a heterosexual relationship, and if the guy
(20:10):
is someone that I would disagree with and his beliefs
and how he treats woman or something, I could be like,
I don't agree with who you're married to or who
you're in a relationship with. So I think it's like
I at this moment where I realized that I could
just go on this rant about how much I love
doctor Pepper, and the people who love Coke will always
(20:30):
be like, how could you love doctor Pepper over Coke?
Like it's the og, how could you love that more?
And it's like you there is someone that's always going
to have an opinion on something that you do, whether
it's faith related, what you eat while you're saying just
totally innocuous. I don't know or word of the podcast,
(20:52):
but I think that the whole thing with faith, and
I do think it's different because I grew up in
it so like it all the rules and what's right
and wrong. We're like ingrained in me at a very
developmental age where I soaked everything in, so like trying
to navigate what I believe and where I stand in
my faith, in my relationship with God has been such
(21:13):
a challenge because when you're told something when you're young,
it feels like that's the truth and there's no other
truth and there's no room to question it. So when
you get older and you start questioning something that's been
your truth for so long, it's so scary and you
either have to like go through it and see the
light at the end of the tunnel, or you just
(21:35):
stay in the place where you are where you're like,
I'm now questioning something that I can't find the answer to.
And the truth is I don't know a lot of
the things. I'm not a scholar. I only know what
else Tanya is a scholar today. That's right, but I
think you just I think what you said is like,
having a relationship with God is such a personal thing,
(21:56):
and I think that you need to focus on what
that is over what other people think, because people will
always have an opinion.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
And you're so right about the rules. People cherry pick
they're like, well you're a Christian, you shouldn't do this',
but they're swearing and they're drinking.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
And it's like, when you really look at it, like
pick what. Literally, you can meet any single Christian and
if they have a judgment for you, they could cherry
pick something, and you could cherry pick something too. On
the flips contrast, yeah, contradict.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Taking religion out of it.
Speaker 7 (22:28):
The biggest gift you can give yourself is to stop
caring what other people think about you and what you do.
And I really try to express this to my daughters,
and it doesn't seem to be working because they care.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I get it.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
It's very debilitating, it really is when you care about
what people think so deeply, like it really can, like
it can change the trajectory of your life, like truly.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
But just remember you could be the ripest, juiciest, most
beautiful peach on a tree and there's still someone who
just doesn't like peaches.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Yea, like I prefer a watermelon.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Yeah, but it doesn't I mean you've done anything wrong.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I'm in a pretty good place with it.
Speaker 7 (23:02):
When I was younger, I remember if I would get
honked at when driving, whether I did anything wrong or not,
it would rock me, like the whole drive home and
the rest of the day I'm thinking.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Like, oh man, that got honked at me.
Speaker 7 (23:13):
Like I'm like, it would bother me so much, like
I'd be a little bit mad, but also embarrassed and
also like like was he right?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Did I do something wrong? I would really bother me.
Speaker 7 (23:23):
And now I'm like, hey, how you doing okay? Whatever,
and then you move on. I'm in a much better
place with it. But I guess we'll have to go
on that journey.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
Yeah, we do. We go on that journey.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Just return it with road rage, which is also something
that I need to work. It's not the right problem,
it's not, but it's better than just like feeling debilitated
by their cruelty.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
I'm always just like, God, bless you, God bless you.
You must be having a horrible day that you need
to honk your horn that much at me, Like sometimes
I hope your day turns around.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Sometimes I can have a gentle spirit and I can
do that, but sometimes I get I get on their
tail until they in the studio. One day and someone
a guy cut me off and I honked at him
to let him know he was in my lane and
he had his middle finger up to his windshield. I
(24:12):
saw in my rear view he had it up, and
then as he passed me, he did it, and I've
slammed on my horn and like chased him until I
did get off that.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
No, don't get don't the bird he gave me the bird? Also,
who does that anymore?
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Like you grow up like.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Me?
Speaker 4 (24:31):
No, the guy that was flicking you off.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
The finger does dated doesn't give me?
Speaker 4 (24:39):
Yeah, it's giving my get on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Speaking of what are we doing that dance? You sent
us a dance a few weeks ago?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Oh my god, I don't even know if it's trending anymore.
Speaker 7 (24:49):
But we can try anonymous h beca Tanya Mark and Easton.
I'm a huge Day One fan. I'm one Tanya to
my core. But people please are like Becca, Yeah, how.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
We're viewed the people pleaser?
Speaker 4 (25:06):
You are you always talk about how your people please are.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I think we're all kind of people pleaser.
Speaker 5 (25:11):
Skurvers are like I'm Atania because I'm insane, or I'm
a becket because I like fast food.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, characteristics.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Anyway.
Speaker 7 (25:22):
I dated a guy in high school for two months.
We broke up, and I started in my now husband.
We've been together for eight years now. We live in
a small town. We run into this guy and his
now wife a decent amount.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
I think she really hates me.
Speaker 7 (25:34):
I thought I was just overthinking it for a while,
but after the past few years, anytime I'm around, she
will grab him to leave or intentionally ignore me. I mean,
this is in high school for two months. She's also
made comments to mutual friends that she doesn't like me
because of us dating prior. Him and I never talk
unless we see each other out and say hello, nothing more.
It all seems so silly, but I let it bother me.
This kind of gets back to what we're talking about
(25:56):
other people's opinions. I haven't reached out to her a
few years back and expressed how I'm happy for the
two of them, and I hope that we're good.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Do you have any advice moving forward.
Speaker 7 (26:04):
I wish I could just not let it bother me,
but public situations are super uncomfortable, even for a quick hello.
I don't want there to be tensioned. But is this
a lost cause to care about making better? Ps currently
going through infertility and IVF and your podcast has been
a top source of cheering me up.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
So love you guys. That's very nice.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Well, first of all, anonymous, good luck on your IVF journey.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah, good luck. We're thinking and prying for a beautiful.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Boisterous Is that like a big lots more energetic.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
How about just a happy result?
Speaker 4 (26:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Happy result? Yeah, but we love you.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So this is really interesting because when I was in
San Diego, I had this thing with this guy and
it was I wouldn't even call it a thing, Like
we kissed a few times, that's a thing, but like
I'm saying, like it was, yeah, we made out of
a couple of times, three times. No, No, it was
(27:05):
very quite innocent. But he was like super Christian. I
think I was like his first kid. Like it was,
but in the in the in that time, it felt significant,
but like in the grand scheme of things, it's nothing.
He then fell in love with his now wife, who
he was he is obsessed with, like since high school,
he's been obsessed with her, and she even to this
(27:26):
day still has me blocked on Instagram from seeing her page.
And I just think it's the weirdest thing. Like I
ran into them. They live I think in La now
and I ran into them at a like a breakfast
spot with Haley, and I was like, Oh, it's my
girlfriend Hailey and just cold as ice to me, and
I'm like, God, I mean, I guess that's just someone't
(27:48):
my girlfriend women, And I just it bothered me, like
for a long time, and after that, I was like,
what a miserable Like she just has a lot of
insecurities and feels like whatever that comes from is not
my issue to worry about anymore.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Yeah, honestly, I have a it's not the same situation,
but I had to have somebody in my life that
it is very uncomfortable. Yeah, whenever we're around him, it
does get very tense and there's like this awkward tension
and it's just it's just the cross I have to bear.
But I too have somebody in my life that it's
(28:30):
so awkward. And I, again, I did nothing wrong blocked
me on social media, like really just does not like me,
and I again, did absolutely nothing wrong in the situation,
and it would it got to me for a very
long time, like it would I would just fixate on
it because I was just I would make me upset,
like does it like it seeps into my happy, positive
energy and it makes me dark because it's so dark
(28:53):
and like who cares. It's like, get over yourself. But
at the end of the day, there's literally nothing that
you can do. Quite literally, you've told them I'm happy
for you, guys like you can not you're married, Like,
there's nothing that you can do. People are just going
to be bitter or be whatever they are, and you
just have to let them be.
Speaker 7 (29:11):
People hate that there's anyone else in the world that
has made out with their partner or slept with their
partner or seen their partner naked or all that stuff.
It drives them crazy because they let it drive them crazy.
You're right, there's nothing you can do. Kill her with
kindness when you see her be the better person, and
that's it. It's her issue to deal with and she's
not going to deal with.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
It, no, sadly, and it's it's got nothing to do
with you. I think it would be any woman that
had that looked at him in a romantic way. So
all you can do is be kind and try to
not ever be around her as much as you can.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah, why we shall leave the town as we grew
up in.
Speaker 7 (29:47):
By the way, this is why we need to get
out of town, go see the world a little bit,
because when you grow up in the small towns, these
things fester.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yes, but you're doing great, and you're you're amazing, and
we love of you.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
How many more do we have time for? Beckaly?
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I would say we have time for one? Pick a
good one. One more.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
We're getting dicey on the time.
Speaker 7 (30:12):
One more, but I have to take a break, see
that one more, so we'll make it a butte.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Okay, all right, we're back for our final dear question.
Speaker 7 (30:37):
Dug through the whole mail bag and shows this one
for the last one today.
Speaker 4 (30:42):
You don't have a mail bag.
Speaker 7 (30:43):
We have a big mail bag mail box, Yeah, says
two back, and it's spell wrong.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
It's cute.
Speaker 7 (30:51):
My sister has been with a guy for seven years.
They recently got engaged. In My entire family and extended
family all dislike him. They started getting young, so I
think at for we all just saw him as being immature.
He'd grow out of it one day, But boy, he
never has. My sister does everything around the house and
gives him whatever he wants. Whenever he has an opinion,
my sister automatically agrees with him without any question. He
(31:13):
makes comments and does things that are rude without even
realizing it. For example, he proposed and had an engagement
party on the same day as my cousin's high school
graduation and the instead. If my cousins loved my sister,
they'd find a way to be the engagement party. He
once told my dad he doesn't need to help my
sister out around the house because he makes more money
than she does. He will come over to use my
(31:33):
dad's tools to work on his car and not even
come h to come and not even come in to
SAYHU to the family. These are just a few of
the many examples as to the point where every little
thing he does drives our family crazy.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
What do we do?
Speaker 3 (31:47):
You know?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I was saying earlier that like if someone I used
to get so defensive about someone not like supporting my relationship,
like I would get like, how could they it's just love,
you know, And now I see like these things, I'm like,
I would never support someone.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I really like this. I don't have to help out
around the house because.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Rage. It's so I know.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
But here's the thing. Rage to you, rage to me,
rage to you, It is not rage to this anonymous.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Sister that sounds brainwashed.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Whatever the case may be. I feel like the problem
is because I I have been so many situations in
my life where like, not it doesn't it's not happening
to me, but like there are people in my life
who don't like the person that this person is dating,
or their brother or their sister or whatever their cousin.
And I feel like when you get involved, especially when
(32:45):
it's this far down the line, like speak up. If
it's early days and they're dating somebody and they're saying
some of this stuff, like I would throw up a
flag and be like that sounds sus and like I
would really reassess. But I feel like when it gets
to this, oh my life, I feel like when it
gets to I feel like, what it gets to this point,
like you can't you can't say something without damaging your
(33:05):
relationship with your sister, Like you just can't.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
I just should have said yes sooner.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
I mean, it's sad they started dating when they were young.
Speaker 7 (33:16):
So I'm sure that the sister has like self esteemishes
she doesn't think she can do any better than this guy.
And also there's a chance that she really does love
him and there's something about him that no one else
is seeing. She knows him better than anybody else. But
also when you start dating so young, you don't know
what else is out there, you have nothing to compare
it to.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
But also like, you're not the savior.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah, you know, I'm a sibling.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
What she can do.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
You're not the savior. You're the sibling, and your job
as the sibling is to support your sibling. And if
it ends up, if they end up divorced, you're gonna
be there to pick up the pieces.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't really know.
I really don't know what to say because I think
a whole family plus extended family hating someone speaks volumes.
And I think that when you're in a bad situation
and you are not able to see how people view
(34:09):
your partner in a negative light, I think that's concerning
Because I think.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
I don't think you realize, what if this all this family,
if the family and the extended family they all come
out and they say we don't like this person and
why it needs to be like whatever it is, then
your sister is going to turn into a shell and
she is going to be inward and she's not gonna
trust anybody, and she's gonna be go further and further
or deep into this relationship. He's gonna be the only
(34:36):
thing that she has. She's gonna it's just gonna. I
just I just don't think you're thinking it through.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I don't know though, because then it's like she gets
married and then has to deal with legal stuff if
something goes down. I just think it's worth having a
conversation with her privately, not like a family meeting, but like, hey,
when he says things like this, does he ever say
those things to you? Like is he? I don't know.
I think there's a heart to heart that you can
(35:04):
have as a sister. I feel like if my sister
was dating someone who I didn't think was healthy, I
would I would have a heart to heart with her
and say like I love you, and what I see
as your sister is can be hurtful some of the
things that he says. So I just want to make
sure that you that this is what you want to
(35:24):
go through with, because marriage is a big deal.
Speaker 7 (35:28):
Are you happy? That's the key is are you happy?
Because if she is, then I think you got to yeah,
step away.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Are you? Are you genuinely happy? Is this how you?
Is this the person that you envisioned yourself getting married
to and the person you envisioned having a life.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Is he going to be a good dad?
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yeah? I think it's just asking question. Sometimes it's hard
to ask questions. Sometimes it's hard to like have hard
conversations out of fear that you're going to push them
further away. But I think not having the conversation opens
up more problems for her down the road. That's my opinion.
(36:02):
You have different opinions.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah, that's beauty.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
That's the beauty of this podcast.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
You get a little bond, you get a little you know,
you little Bonnie, a little yeah you, little Bonnie, and
then you decide.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
And then you decide. We will be in Palm Springs
as mentioned before. So okay, firstly, let me let me
let me go back. If you ever have any uh,
dear Bonnie questions you can always d m us on
Instagram at scrubbing in pod or email us at scrubbing
In at iHeartMedia dot com. And as for this weekend
in Palm Springs, we are going to be doing a
(36:39):
truth or Drink episode, which we know y'all love, so
submit your questions too.
Speaker 7 (36:46):
I think Crystal is going to put a sorry, no no, no,
no no, please finish you.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
I think Crystal is going to do like question box
on Instagram. Sorry, check out that insta hit that insta.
Speaker 7 (36:56):
Can I give some parameters because it's really hard to
come up with good truth or Drink questions.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Here's what the reason is.
Speaker 7 (37:05):
Tanya answers everything, so it's hard to find stuff she's
not comfortable answering. That's why I remember at the live
showing in West Hollywood, the question was what's the.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Largest object you ever put in your rear end?
Speaker 7 (37:18):
Because it's weird to ask a question that Tanya might
not be comfortable answering, and even that.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
So really think.
Speaker 4 (37:29):
Something maybe different, something you'd like.
Speaker 7 (37:31):
To know about Tanya that she might be uncomfortable asking.
Same with Becca. Becca has a different tolerance for stuff
that makes her uncomfortable as answering but so you need to.
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Find Becca drinking the whole time.
Speaker 7 (37:42):
But we also don't want to ask a bunch of
stuff that Becca would never answer in a million years.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
So that's like a fine line. We got to find.
Speaker 7 (37:48):
Here questions that Becca will answer and stuff that Tanya
would think twice before answering.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Might take a shot.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
That's why it's hard. But we'll do our best. Then.
I'm sure you come up with good stuff. You always do.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah, so really put your thinking cap on for this.
And then and then another teaser. We're going to epic Con.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
Yeah, we're.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Wow, the Old City, the City of the Bean, the Bean.
Speaker 4 (38:22):
We should go to Juliana Ransay.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
You said was going to RPM.
Speaker 4 (38:28):
Yeah, are you down?
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Sure?
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Yeah, Okay, great.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
I think there's a lot of restaurants there, so maybe
we can get a list together and see what comes up.
So cute. Well will she be there? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
I don't know. I imagine like when people have restaurants that
they're just like sitting at the entrance greeting everyone, welcome
to my restaurant.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I don't think she's there, but maybe she can meet
us for a drink or something. Yeah, but we're gonna
go to Epicom. We're going to interview grays and that
I mean, I mean a lot of people from all
different TV.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Show worlds, like Responders.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
We're not interviewing first or spowners, people that play them
on television, right right, We're interviewing a lot of actors.
So that's coming up in September. But we love you
all so much. Love you have a great weekend. Bye bye,
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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