Pass The Gravy #565: Oncoming Traffic

The guys talk about mind reading, cosplay weddings, and the NFL schedule release. They also power rank sandwiches.

Follow the show on twitter/X: @passthegravypod, @AlexJMiddleton, @NotPatDionne, and @RobertBarbosa03

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Bravy Gang Gang Gang Baby Powder toppinglead spread. As we listen, it's
a past the Gray Grave. Wego and fishing for your bitch today with
Chunk and Houston Houston Baby. Nowwe go ahead and link and we'll get

(00:21):
rich today. Nich bitch, Bravy, Bravy, Bravy, jun What is
going on? Everybody? Happy GravyDays Past Gravy Episode five hundred and sixty

(00:42):
five. I am your good buddyAlex with my friend Pat and our other
buddy Robert the Hog. Barbosa jokesthe third there's no his name is getting
longer every week. There's no otherone like me. I want to just
add one more, the third Junior. Ooh, I like that. That'd

(01:03):
be cool if you changed something,you legally changed your last name to like
the third, Like it's not Romannumerals. It actually says the third,
No, but it is just Romannumerals, but you just pronounced it as
the third, and then like youcan have a son that you named the
exact same thing, and it couldjust be the third Junior. All right,

(01:26):
the theoretically that could work. Ilike mine better of just writing out
the third, but okay, justshut on my idea. Remember when Calvin
Johnson on the Lions got hit,he had a son, and he just
put Calvin Johnson Senior on the backof his jersey because he was like,
well, I had his son,his junior. So they go, I'm

(01:47):
a dad, and I was like, that's pretty pretty cool. I would
absolutely want to flex that I wasthe senior, who's the ping on the
thing signed, because that's what Ithought you were talking about, you know,
the oh yeah CALVI from Calvin Hobbs. Yeah, Calvin Kelvin Johnson was
Johnson, and that's what I thoughtof. Okay, now now you still

(02:09):
okay. I could see the lineof thought that, yeah, Calvin Johnson
former Lions receiver Hall of Famer MegaTron Mega Tron also known as that.
But it was just cool that,like all like one year he just came
into the season and it said JohnsonSenior. It's like you can added senior.
I was like, okay, yeah, and somebody asked me like,

(02:29):
yeah, I had a kid.I mean also, especially when your last
things is common as Johnson, You'relike, well, you know this will
be I mean, not that itwas ever hard to pick him out on
the field. He was six footfive and like carved stone, tallest guy
and fastest guy out there. Butyou know that way, nobody else could
see another Johnston be like which one? You know what? Because of that,

(02:50):
we're actually gonna be doing a mockdraft of juniors this week for our
continued mock Jafson. We're not continuingmock Jeffson. I think I see.
I think we're sure because it feltlike Robert Robert threw it. Robert threw
last week's one to just not haveto do them anymore, and I think
that's disrespectful to the listeners. Seriousaccusation. That is a very serious accusation.

(03:14):
I have never been one to notthrow out accusations all willing illy Well,
Robert is a supporter. If youwere a Dodger's supporter, I would
see the under the rug. Butbecause you are an Astros supporter, I
have to take these cheating allegations veryseriously and it don't happen. Yeah,

(03:35):
I heard that it was it justRosen on his mock draft last week.
I don't know it was illegal,but honestly I don't care because I was
like, if we have to doanother mock draft, I'm going to just
absolutely throw it. I was planningon throwing it. I wanted. I
didn't care if one of who itwas you were scared. We can't do
it again. I got too muchheat coming off of me. You guys

(03:57):
are scared. Right now, we'llrecap mock draft season and a little bit.
One thing I might have start thepod with is not a big golf
guy. You guys know me,I mean don't. I don't golf.
Well, I don't got the temperto golf. But it's a pretty pussy
move to use a rangefinder if you'regonna call yourself a real golfer, like,
be a fucking man and use youreyes like real men do. First

(04:24):
of all, the pros don't dothat. They have a caddy that has
all the distances written down. Yeahfrom the lives. No, No,
they use rangefinders, but they justcan't use it during the tournament, so
they write it down. Then dothat. Go ahead, scout the course.
Be a real man. Now,you don't understand the rangefinder is fun

(04:44):
because after you drink enough, youmight just be missing the flag and giving
yourself the wrong distance. And it'shilarious. Now, granted, I don't
think any real golfers do that.But if I was out there alone,
one hundred percent, I would thinkI would scanning the flag, and I'd
be scanning something forty feet behind it, just going driver from thirty yards out.

(05:05):
No, I just think you lookat pussy. It's like, oh,
okay, well are you pirate overthere? You're looking for treasure?
Oh? He pull out my fuckinglike little thing over here, and let's
go see if we can see someother boats over there. Oh nope,
yeah, just a wood. I'mgonna take a three wood right here.
Off of that. It's like you'refucking at the tea box man. Even
if you think it's a pussy,go you counteract it by drinking twelve beers.
That's a man thing. No,I call him a pussy from my

(05:28):
cart far away, where I knowthat I can safely turn the other way
if he comes at me and Irealize he's bigger than he looks from far
away, and that's how it works. I'm not gonna really do anything about
this. I just I have apodcast. I can say it's a pussy
move to use rangefinder. I gottatell all my friends that apparently they're all
pussies. I don't know how they'regonna take this. I really don't think

(05:50):
that. I just nope, yousaid it. I did tweet it out,
and there were people that were verylike you can tell he gets triggered
by things quickly, like when theyimmediately rushed, Well, no you aren't.
It takes off. That's many fromyour I'll save a few frock to
offer game. Blah blah blah camein. Yeah, golf golf, look
like you're trying to be a pirate. Sensitive you look like you're trying to

(06:12):
be a pirate when you're a modernpirate. Oh looks down down there,
down that my god, Next rodRyan golf tournament, if I'm able to
corral my friends into doing it,I think I'm gonna have to dress up
as a pirate and put one legup every hole. When I use the
rangefinder, you have to stand ona Captain Morgan Bottle, stand on top

(06:36):
of the cart until the car Yeah, the barrel, So it's like I'm
up in the crow's nest exactly likethat. And then i just run around
like Johnny Depp use the cart speakerto just be blaring out. It was
a solid more in my life.I've never wanted anything more in my life

(06:58):
now I want to be the pirateoffer just that that's your entire personality.
You're like the dodgeball guy. Butit's yeah, just pirate golf y'are,
let me get in your hole.But is it like I know that like
fishing people have those fish scanners wherethey're like, oh, this is where

(07:18):
the fish are, and it's like, yeah, you're catching fish that way,
But that's kind of cheating if you'relike really fishing, right, what
do you I don't know. IfI had the money to do it,
and I really can't. If Iwas a big fishing person, I would
probably just do the cheat way too. I was like, I'm not going
to spend all day out here whenI could just be like, oh,
fisher here, I'm gonna throw theline down there. Hey guess what,
I just caught three fish. Done. But that's not how that works because

(07:39):
even though you use the raidar andyou see where they are, fish do
they do this thing called swimming,So then by the time you get it
in there, they might have moveda little bit. Yeah, but you
know where the fish, you canput it where the fish are around instead
of just being like, I hopethere's fish here, and then they still
have to go for the bait,right, but you put it, you're
increasing your odds. I would say, oh, for sure, for sure,

(08:03):
cheating still feels like cheating. Andif you if you're not cheating,
you're not trying. But just nexttime you see your friend pull out his
rangefinder, I for golf and justbe like fucking pussy and call on a
golfer a pussy and tell him tobe a real man and use his eyes
like I think that that it triggerspeople. So just oh, I texted
my friends. I'm waiting for comments, so I'll say, you guys are

(08:26):
pussy. You're using a rangefinder.Thoughts. You should have said who uses
a rangefinder here? And then whenthey said it, just like pussies.
That's really what you do. Likeyou don't really add any anything else after
that, it's just you feel betterabout it for a second. Yeah,
okay, anyways, anyways, Idid have a fun little reading. We

(08:50):
don't really do this very often onthe podcast, but I was on Reddit
as I as I am many daysof the week, almost every single day,
and I came across a little storyI felt like I should share with
the podcast. Now. Normally theseare under the am I the asshole category,
and it'll usually just be like,hey, this is a situation that
went down. Am I the assholefor doing this? Am I the asshole

(09:11):
for telling Robert to fuck off becauseRobert said the Yankees suck? Am I
the asshole? And then I layout the story and then people like,
you know what, No, you'renot the asshole, or yeah, you
are the asshole? And this wasnot under the am I the asshole?
Category? It was under the pettyrevenge category, which is usually just like
it'll be like Robert was stealing mycable, so I changed the password and

(09:35):
Robert couldn't get it, and thenRobert missed the World series, like little
petty things like that. This Ididn't think really was petty revenge. And
this is a I'm gonna Stay'm leaningtowards them being the asshole, But you
guys get to get to weigh inand help me decide. In a second
year, this is our story.It's called it's called significant or. Sister
in law refuses to pick her ownbridesmaid outfit, so I made her a

(09:58):
prostitute. That's one of the readitpost where you're like, I'm gonna click
that, I want to see wherethis is going. It's a good headline,
it's a great headline. Great headlinegot me like right from the beginning.
But here we go. So thisis our Reddit reading for the week.
It says I've written about my pieceof work sister in law before.
Nobody cares about that. All right, either way, here we go.
Here's our story. My husband andI had a cosplay themed wedding. Guests

(10:20):
were allowed to dress in costume orjust be comfortable. The wedding party were
dressed based on the TV show Firefly. My husband asked me to make his
sister a bridesmaid and agreed that eventhough I don't like her or get along
with her, I'd do it.My only rule for her and the bridesmaids
was that they wore or that theyneeded to be a or. My only

(10:43):
rule for what the bridesmaid wore wasthat it needed to be a character from
the show, and I didn't wantany repeats. So they just needed to
let me know who they were goingto be so I could make sure they
were all different. My sister inlaw knew this before she agreed to be
in the wedding. The other threebridesmaids all picked their characters that assembled their
costumes with very little or no inputfrom me. Leading up to the wedding,
she kept asking me what she shouldwear. My husband and I both

(11:05):
encouraged her to watch the TV showIt's only thirteen episodes in a movie to
pick a character. She refused anddidn't even watch one episode. So yeah,
again, she wants to watch athirteen episode show and a movie to
just pick an outfit to go toa wedding ast There was even a time
where we visited her and she askedus over to watch a movie. We
suggested this show and she refused.I really just wanted to be super laid

(11:28):
back. I really wanted our weddingto be a super laid back experience because
we are not formal, serious peopleat all. But she was making it
difficult. She asked me a couplemore times what she should wear, and
finally asked me to just send hersome options to pick from. I spent
a bit of time finding characters andemailed her a list including screenshots and descriptions.
I even took into account that shewould be breastfeeding and would need an
outfit that would accommodate that. Idon't remember all the characters I sent,

(11:52):
but they included the school teacher,the sex robot, companions, and a
few others. Weeks later, shestill hadn't even looked at the list.
It was asking me which she shouldwear again. I told her to look
at the list and she said shewould. A couple of weeks later,
she's asking again. It got reallyannoying that she wasn't that she was refusing
to put any effort into it.Finally, she told me to just pick
who she would be, So Ipicked the pregnant prostitute. She didn't even

(12:16):
bother to look the character up after, and that still pestered me, and
still pestered me about the specific clothesshe should buy. She didn't find out
until after the wedding that was whothe character was, and she was really
upset with me. I told hershe should have picked her own character if
it mattered, and then she doesan edit and says, I just want
to address some things they keep poppingup below, which is obviously that's a

(12:37):
huge sign where there's an edit andthere's a bunch of them defending themselves that
the comments didn't go great for them. She said, the entire can of
the show is thirteen episodes in amovie. At no point did I ask
but require her anyone else to watchall of it. We suggested she watch
episode so she could get the vibewe were going for, but she refused.
She could have dropped out at anytime, but she chose to make
things more difficult for me. Iwas already making my husband's coat my entire

(13:01):
outfit. In all three Flower Girlsdresses in parentheses, it says River,
if anyone cares for the wedding,the last thing I wanted was to have
to hand hold a bride'smaid through theiroutfit choice. Is she the asshole?
The answer is yes, correct,the bride is the asshole. Not at
all, Not at all. Youdon't think it's actually a like I think

(13:24):
it's stupid to have a cannon andwedding like that, But like, if
I married a girl that was superinto Halo and she's like, dudelet's us
up as Halo for a wedding,I'd be like, fuck yeah, it's
their favorite show, which, bythe way, is supposed to be one
of the best shows of all time. Even though it only got one season
before it was canceled, it wassuper super popular. Now that I know
there's a sex robot in it,I'm an extra gonna walk like I've wanted

(13:46):
to watch it for years. Ijust never got around it. It's a
very simple thing. She wasn't saying, hey, watch all of this.
You're just saying, it's only thirteenepisodes in one movie. That's everything.
Just pick something and watch it.It's a very simple request. And then
to keep badgering the bride what shouldI wear? What's that I wear?
What should I wear? Bitch,it's my wedding. I've got a thousand
other fucking things to think about.Just said one thing. All she had
to do is send one thing,but I don't know, picked this one,

(14:07):
here be this and then okay,done And she did, and the
brides maid never looked at it.Yeah that's fine. And then she showed
up like like, I don't know. I think that that is insane to
dis expect, like, just youknow, get the vibe of your character.
I don't fucking watch this show.She obviously didn't watch the show.
When you went over to her houseand we're like we should watch the show
because she didn't fucking like the show. Pro I didn't want to watch the

(14:28):
show. You gotta remember. Also, they said in the beginning, she
doesn't get along with her sister inlaw in law at all. So imagine
someone that you had to invite toyour wedding, Alex, that you didn't
really like, but you had toput him in there, and they keep
just badgering you about shit over andover and over. You're gonna be like,
dude, just fucking do it yourself. You're an adult. I've given
you the parameters. Just figure itthe fuck out. I don't think she's

(14:52):
the asshole at all. I thinkthe sister in law is definitely the ass
Also, they mentioned that she wasbreastfeeding, so she was like with a
new boy and they're like, youjust gotta watch like a couple episodes and
should just figure out how to makea cosplay thing. And also they mentioned
that they wanted to be a laidback wedding. They wanted to be a
laid back event. What about cosplay? Do you know? Not that I'm

(15:13):
an expert on cosplay, but itdoesn't ever seem like it's a laid back
event. You have to make costumes, dress up in costumes, usually play
into a character that seems like alot of work and not just like just
be chilled about it. That's onlyfor the bridal party, though they said
everyone else is stress comfortable or acostume if you want to. They weren't
requiring everyone to do it. There'sjust people that are. And by the

(15:35):
way, she could have dropped outat any moment. They don't like each
other. She was, for whateverreason, asking to be a bridesmaid,
or maybe the husband just wanted orwhatever. But like you could just be
like, no, I'm fucking pregnantand I don't like your wife. I'm
just gonna be here in the crowd. I don't want to make a costume.
I don't want to go through allthis shit. But no, she

(15:56):
just had had to be involved asa bridesmaid who refused to do one thing
that the bride asks. That's kindof your job as a bridemaid is just
to help the bride and do whatshe asked you to do. I just
feel like you could have just beenlike, here's one thing immediately. Yeah,
okay, I don't know who'll belike you just picked from me,
Okay, she shouldn't have sent that, and that would have been done.

(16:18):
And then the fact that she likewas like she made like she didn't know
about it. Just do that.If I had a New York Giants themed
wedding and Robert's like, what giantshould it be? But ah, you
know what, why you just goshit, dude, just be just be
Kenny Galladay. Just to throw backKenny Galladay, we'll have you heavy as
him. Like, I don't thinkI'd be like, well, here,
Robert, here's here's some videos ofthese guys. If you would have watched

(16:41):
the highlights and you know, justget a get acquainted with them. I
think more likely it would just beif you were like, yeah, I'll
just wear anything Giants and Robert waslike what should I wear? You're like,
I don't know, dude, anythingyeah, but like should I wear
a shirt or a jersey? Doesn'tmatter, dude, just anything? Yeah?
But do I need a hat togo with it doesn't matter, dude,
Just fuck, I could pick something. That's what it is. It's

(17:02):
where you're like, dude, literallyanything you wear is okay. Just whatever,
just do it. Just pick something, and they keep going, ah,
now you do it. No,like to me, I think the
closest one would be when you knowhow I don't. I don't remember if
it was this way, if allthe bridesmaid's dresses at your wedding were the
exact same dress, or if theywere just like same color, same style.

(17:22):
But you see the ones where it'sjust same color and the bride will
just pick, just buy any dress, just make sure it's this color.
If the bridesmaid just kept going back, well should it be strapless? I
don't know, pick anything. Whatif I did it was like two shoulders
and there are puffy I don't know. Pick anything. But what if my
dress is a little bit longer?I don't fucking know. Just pick a
guy, yes, man, theanswer is yes, Just yeah, kick

(17:45):
that one. That's the one.I'm planning a wedding. I've got a
lot of other shit to do.Just be an adult and make a fucking
decision, Like that's all you haveto do is pick your dress. That's
it. Ah, I can't dothat. It seemed like neither one of
them really wanted to be in thewedding, so you should have just been
like, all right, if youdon't want to be Just to hear where

(18:06):
this thing. Here, we go, We're done. That's it. I
thought she's the assholet. I thoughtyou guys were gonna be on my side
immediately, but you guys were not. Luckily the comments first I felt better
myself. Oh you have Reddit agreeingwith you, then you know you're vie.
That's how I know I'm right.That's I know I'm right. Like
Reddit, I think, is theonly place that's worse than Twitter. Those

(18:26):
people unless they agree with me,and then they're then they're right. Well,
of course that's like anything. Yourwedding sense stupid, you see on
like a pain to be around witha joke team sister in law all the
way. I'd be pissed if mysister in law required me to put together
cosplay for a show I'm not interestedin. Yeah, there's there's pretty much

(18:49):
pretty much all all that, butyeah, I don't know. I don't
know about I don't know a lotabout cosplay, but I feel like that
would be a lot and I wouldhave just bowed out probably if I was
asked to be in a wedding likethat, I'm good exactly. You would
have just met out. I would. If you agree to be involved then
you have to be involved. Istill think it's kind of an asshole.
I mean, like, like,if there's one rule at a wedding,

(19:11):
what is it the bride is righttrue bear, No, you're right,
you're right, you're right. Somy my other thing. I guess it's
am I an asshole? Movies?Yes? Yeah, I mean I am
I am? I get that,But is it just an asshole quality that

(19:32):
I kind of just don't take people'sargument seriously when I feel like like not
not I don't take people seriously,but like anime kind of, I am
very judgmental towards anime. Not notright right, And That's where I'm trying
to get to where I'm not likeI don't give a fuck if you watch
anime, but like if you throwout a random like I throw out Office
references all the time. I understandnot everybody's watched the offense. If you

(19:55):
throw out like a Star Trek referenceto me, I've not seen Star Trek,
but I'll be like, okay,whatever. You know, if there's
there's certain shows, if you thoughtan anime reference, I'm like, what
the fuck is this guy's deal?I don't know. There's like a whole
Like what that's like cowboy Boobop.I'm like, who are you? I
did the same thing. I'm like, you're dumb. Grow up. Dragon

(20:18):
ball Z was the only one Iever watched. I think, I think
here's the level. It's fine tobe a fan, even be a big
fan, because actually there's way morepeople than like, growing up, I
thought it was just like nerds.Turns out black dudes love anime. I
don't know where those sub genres likecrossed over the years, but like it's
huge. But once you start dressinganime, that's the problem. Like if

(20:41):
you walk around wearing cat ears,you're not You're not even a human to
me, Like I don't have torespect you, or it's it's like the
old and it's like I don't notlike you. It's the Seinfeld. And
here's me making a reference from ashow that maybe and everybody's seen, but
I think lots of people have seenSeinfeld. But Seinfeld says at one point

(21:03):
to George, people stend tend tostay away from people in capes, and
it's that's kind of my line ofthinking, where like I'm gonna stay away
from the tail lady. Yeah,that guy's wing Fuckale to Kroger. You
see a kid fuck with him Nerudorunning through the hallway, You're just like,

(21:23):
I want to trip him and pushhis face into the wall at the
exact same moment. I'm not goingto, but if it happened, I'd
be like a hilarious comedy. Jackasssays me, And I understand I have
a weird obession with fot, butwe have a weird obsession with sports,
and I guess that that's me sayingI think my obsession is more normalized.
But I saw two people arguing overI wouldn't like if I saw a cheesehead

(21:48):
guy, I'm I'm staying away fromthat guy. Yeah, fair enough,
because if you're wearing a cheesehead chancesare you're drunk, and a lot of
time it's not fun being around drunk. So the Raiders very fair assessment.
The Raiders guy with the shoulder padsthat had the spikes on it and he's
wearing the skull mask, and like, I'm gonna go not mess with that
guy. Yeah, like I woulddefinitely. That's the kind of person where

(22:11):
I make, dude, love yourcostume, but immediately i'd walk away because
I also don't want to have aconversation with you because you seem like a
fucking weirdo. But that's that's cool, yeah, Or like if you just
if you, if you decorate yourentire room to like one team, that's
fucking weird, dude. It's asuper super cringey thing to do, and

(22:32):
you need to chill the fuck out. Yeah, dude, YouTube dot Com,
Slasha podcast, please do, pleasedo. But I did see two
people. They were arguing over aparking spot, and I felt bad because
I don't know who is in theright or who is in the wrong.
But I immediately sided with the personthat didn't have twenty seven anime stickers on
their car because also as an unbiasedthird party, and obviously I'm more of

(22:59):
a biased third party walking by.They didn't say, hey, sir,
please decide this this argument. Iwasn't asked, but like I was like,
in my mind, if they're like, you need to be the judged,
like not the anime guy. Imean, especially if you're an anime
guy and a twenty seven car stickerguy, Like, uh, didn't we
to sell all the time? Iwas like, you get two? Was

(23:19):
it two or three? And he'stwo or three? Yeah, anything after
that, you're just like, Ihope you wreck. You're doing too much,
dude, you're doing too much,you know. But yeah, they
had like the little like anime characterspopping up like they were they were creeping
up over the door. It's like, oh, you got me. Nouto
is looking at me. I actuallynow I just want to start going up

(23:44):
to them when they're talking about theirfavorite animes. And then what's the what's
the kids show with the bald headthat every like parent fucking hates Kyo Kyo
or something? No Blue is supposedlydope or Kyu. I think that's what
it is. I just want tomake my favorit anime is kayu and just
it's not anime, it's just animated. I'm like, I don't understand the

(24:07):
difference, right well, it's like, yeah, I don't understand, and
I guess it's like fighting and stuff. That's what like Dragon ballo Z made
it anime because I watch Family Guydoesn't have to be fighting. I wonder
that, like there always is fighting, but does that have to be present?
All the ones that Family Guy beanime, all the ones that I

(24:27):
can think of, like there wasDragon ball Z. I know one punch
Man is a thing one piece.They're pirates, so I have to assume
there's fighting in that uh Avagos anime. See, I think that's just animated.
I don't think it's anime a styleof Japanese animation or a style of

(24:51):
animation originating in Japan. So okay, yeah, it's like that style.
Okay cartoons because when South Park didit, there was also fighting. When
they did the Japanese anime episodes,you should edit for wherever you looked it
up, you should edit it andalso also must be fighting, also fighting.

(25:14):
I feel like the fighting is likewhat I would constitut is like that's
anime, Pokemon anime? Did youhave? Does Japan have like regular animated
stuff like like, I mean,they obviously have anime and then they've got
a hend Tye porn, But dothey just have like Family Guy, Boondocks,

(25:37):
Simpsons, so they have that stileor is it like if we're putting
pen to paper, they're either fightingor fucking? Well, the fucking part
came because when I think it wasafter World War two, is it?
Sherman whoever the US general was,was really anti like all that shit,
and so eventually, like you couldn'thave porn like on film like you could.

(25:57):
It was illegal to porn like onfilm and stuff in Japan, so
they would draw the porn and that'show Hintai kind of gained popularity, Like
we can't like watch like P andV, so we'll have to draw P
and V but with an octopus andsomebody or whatever it is. They probably
also wanted to lower birth rates becausethey were like, we just dropped a

(26:18):
lot of radiation on these people.Oh yeah, we don't need fucking fallout
mutants coming around the corner. Pokemon, though, is anime. It's it's
fighting. It's Japanese and it's fightingJapanese fighting animated. All right, nailed
it. Okay, that's really allI had for today. Would you guys
have for the pre camp segment?I wanted to talk about the big thing

(26:45):
that happened in Pittsburgh over the weekendon Saturday, the debut at P and
C Park, that's right at PancyYeah. Yeah, for uh Livy Dunn,
it was a yeah, it wasa big day for you, big
moment for the city of Pittsburgh.She's having herself a couple of Days too,

(27:07):
because now she's an SI Swimsuit edition. Pick that one up kind of
got a little viral, got pickedup a little bit of tabloids going after
him for saying Livy Dunn's boyfriend insteadof Paul Skeens. Well, I did
say Livy does his boyfriend Paul Skeens, but in the headline it would get

(27:30):
cut off, which was a brilliantmove on Robert's part. And I also
thought it was more funny because itwas just the reverse of the JJ Watt
situation, where it was like JJWatt's wife does this and be like she
has a name, but it's like, Okay, Livy Dunn's boyfriend, he's
got a name. Yeah, man, we know it's a bit, but

(27:52):
it's funny saying like somebody was like, they're really gonna be on this on
this site saying this shit, andit was somebody quote tweeting Robert and I
had a couple of people send methat and they're like, ooh, Robert's
getting He's getting flamed online. AndI was like, imagine going after Robert
thinking we're not gonna fucking kill you. I think Robert found his angle,
though I do like that this ishow he's gonna go viral every week,

(28:15):
and then if anybody says anything negative, our job is to be like,
I'll fucking kill you if they sayanything like this is bullshit, Like fuck
you, dude. Next time Swiftrefer to Taylor Swift as Travis Kelsey's girlfriend.
And if you're talking about Travis Kelseyreferred to him as Taylor Swift's boyfriend,
Taylor or dude, Travis Kelsey's girlfriend, that'll definitely get the Swifties mad.

(28:41):
Yeah, Travis Kelsey's girlfriend's boyfriend,because I think Travis Taylor Swift is
so far the other way where ifyou're like Taylor Swift's boyfriend, like the
Swift He's already loved that anyways,like how cute, like you make it
the the numbies because they'll just beclicking it and reposting it. But if
you want to get the hate ifyou if you do one covering the schedule

(29:03):
release, make sure you point outthat we have X amount of days until
we get to see Taylor Swift atthe opening night of NFL Football's a good
point. Yeah, Like, oh, and this week the NFL schedule was
released, So if all you knowwhen Taylor Swift can be back at Oh,
so you can find out when TaylorSwift will be in your city.

(29:23):
Tomorrow's Thursday. As we're recorded,this is Wednesday, but you should post
for the sports station. You shouldschedule and be like only this many more
Thursdays until we get to see TaylorSwift and Travis Kelsey's box. Oh yeah,
and then you'll get the who caresor moms box Travis's mom box,

(29:49):
and you have a giant reference.You get the Taylor Swift is better than
a boyfriend thing anyway you get,you're gonna really get them all. And
I just it makes me smile whenI see Robert get the masses and that
fucking let's go, Bobby, Let'sgo Bobby. Don't off intro. But
I mean I do think the smallones that really don't matter at all.
It's fun and Bobby, it's notbase so I don't care. Yeah,

(30:14):
and that was baseball. Sorry,it's not the ass, it's not the
did he do good on his didyou well on his debut? They were
like four innings. See, okay, this was gonna be this was gonna
be my thing. Fuck the pirates, they're gigantic fucking pussies. You have

(30:40):
this dude. Last year both okay, but last year was going nine nine
innings every single fucking time he wasout there pitching. Yes, there's a
lot more games than the MLB season, but you're also the Pittsburgh Pirates when
it's time to pay him, arenot gonna fucking do it, and he's
gonna go somewhere else. So usethem while you got. They didn't sign

(31:03):
Glass now I can't remember that there'sa there was another guy, like the
they didn't sign Garrett Cole when theyhave these great pictures, they only keep
them on the first contract. Yeah, dude, and there's one more.
I can't think not. But likethey're like, well, we don't want
him to get injured. Where whendoes that stop being the concern about him

(31:27):
being of Washington? Remember Steena Strasburg. Yeah, but you know what,
but that's the game. That's thegame. You gotta let him go,
Like he's a fucking Nolan Ryan,Randy Johnson, all these fucking guys.
You don't put pictures. Just excuseme, justin Ferlander. When you've got

(31:52):
a fucking horse, let him run. Just let him fucking go, man,
I'm tired of It's just such apussy moved when he turns into Jacob
deGrom, I mean he probably will. All these guys that throw super hard,
that's the problem. Everyone's throwing toohard and that's what's fucking up their
arms. We need more Greg maddoxis in those worlds throwing eighty five with

(32:14):
just crazy movement dotting it up.Yeah, I'm so old. I love
it. Baseball is better back whenI was a boy. I liked it
when it was a simpler time,back when Babe Ruth was running around,
right, would you bring in fora pre come segment? Path? Well,

(32:36):
I was actually gonna run out aboutthat, but I also I just
figured I'd use this opportunity to tellan inappropriate joke. What is the quickest
way? Yeah? Probably what isthe quickest way to calm down a woman?
Chloroform? That's that part. Yeah, I figured it was gonna get

(33:00):
cut, but you should leave inme saying that I'm gonna tell the joke,
and then just cut to this partwhere we're talking about how we can't
use it, And then if anybodywants the joke, just send me a
message on Twitter and I'll tell youso your buddy Pat, why is he
single? And we just play thatclip. Yeah, just play any clip
of me talking ever, especially thechloroform joke. Most women love those.

(33:25):
And if you can't take a joke, then fuck you. I mean that
the day was okay, but youmade like six or seven chloroform jokes.
After the second one, it wasgetting weird. And he just wouldn't stop.
Every time I told him I didn'tcome, he just did it,
said don't care I did, andhe just and then he just rolled over

(33:46):
and went to sleep first, andthen go to sleep every time. Is
that all? You're right? Yeah? Saw three comes segment right there,
let's let's do let's do the randompeople, random guys name and let's name
some random guys, just guys beingdudes when you're girls, like why why

(34:07):
are you guys? What are youguys doing for four hours when you're hanging
out there? We're just naming randombaseball players from the Cincinnati Reds. And
that's what we're doing at the endof the pre comes segment. A lot
of times when we remember it,we're just spend the random wheel of all
US sports teams and then we're justgetting name as many guys as we can
until we're bored. Los Angeles Dodgers. No, Mark Garciaparra, Hideo Nomo,

(34:34):
who had noo is good? Youknow? Is it Cesspeeds? Did
he play there? No? No, it was Yasli Twig. That dude's
still playing in like Mexico, Ithink, And every once in a while
he goes viral, but he getsthe fights or he just throws someone out
from the warning track because he's gota cannon. H Josh Beckett. Josh

(34:59):
BET's a good one. You darvish, remember him. That was a great
world series by him. Mister TipPitches just cheating. Yamamoto? What is
the what is the glasses guy?The okay, that's Alex that scared the
ship out of me when you pointedto your eyes right there we were talking

(35:19):
about. Your fingers went up towardsyour Oh no, no, no,
that scared the ship. I'm notJuli Guriel. I'm not Yuli Guriel trying
to do the glasses. What ishis name? The Dodgers guy that did
the smirk? Oh, Joe Kelly. Joe Kelly. That's where any Ramiras

(35:40):
I think went there for a littlebit Clayton kershaw Man Man Ram did yeah.
Uh, Justin Turner I hated himon there. But God, that
that red Beard really popped. Yeah, but that red Beard popped in Dodger
Blue Cody Bellinger? Did you know? Could you be series? Do you

(36:01):
know that about Cody bell And I'venever heard he don't know that, I
heil, I don't know that.I'm trying to think of like school,
Oh what what was his fucking name? He won the cy Young he and
the Rookie of the Year. God, back in the day show tiny Fernando

(36:25):
God, tamn, I fucking hateyou so goddamn much. I'm pretty sure.
Uh he was like the first likehuge Mexican picture in the history.
This was back in like the seventiesor eighties. I have no idea what
you're talking about. Oh my god, now you're gonna making me google it.
I hate googling ship when I can'tthink about it? You go U.

(36:52):
Did Jason Hayward play on the Dodgerat any point? No, Hayward,
I believe so. Yeah. Ohalso, uh, Julio Urius that
piece of ship? Oh what aboutwhat's his face? The guy? What

(37:14):
about the guy suspended his wife.Yeah. No, well that guy too,
but the problematic dude they had,Yeah, Trevor Bauer, he was
a Dodger. Yeah, he's stilla piece of ship. But man,
he got sucked over there. Doyou guys say, yes, yes we

(37:34):
did. Yeah, thanks for payingattention, Thanks for coming out. I
was thinking, just thinking, dude, he was thinking. I feel like
I'd be doing so much better atthis if I didn't like, Oh,
you're on, You're on Alvarez sortof Oh yeah, Josh Fields gotsh Fields,
Yeah, Dodgers epe. He's sortof a Dodger. He's my favorite

(38:01):
Dodgers play. He's actually like theDodgers need to give him the MVP,
no matter what happens this season,Like honestly, like we wouldn't have had
the season without without you, buddy, George W. Bush, he dodged
showing up to the National Guard Trumpfor like three years. Brown two Jackie

(38:25):
sort of a die. I guessI said La Dodgers. He played for
the Brooklyn Dodgers, but the thingbut still the same thing. Yeah,
I mean obviously would have said JackieRobinson first, he was Brooklyn Dodgers.
Everyone knows that they have so manypeople would probably just sitting there like,
how have these morons not said thisquick name of Basically, I'm always like

(38:46):
Jackie Robinson, the first guy Isay, I got the second, second
one I say is Genny Finch.Ta care of women? I'd probably say
Jeff Bagwell would be the first onethat comes would come to mind. I
love Baggy. All right, allright, let's move on, come on

(39:07):
to the Comeback Kids segment. We'lltell you what's back in the news according
to us, at least this week. It's brought to you this week by
Houston SaberCats Rugby. Give them aroar. Yeah, did I mention the
ust of SaberCats are the best teamin Major League Rugby? I mean,
I know we knew that, butthey are nine and one, the best
record in the whole league, andhad taken on the Chicago shh out of

(39:30):
the last team. Dude, they'refucking out of everybody. Man, They're
gonna win it all. They're gonnawin all. They got that one loss
because they didn't want to get toococky. Because you go undefeated throughout the
regular season. We always talk aboutthis in the NFL. You go undefeated
throughout the regular season, you gotthat pressure to finish undefeated. They got
that loss out of the way,that that monkey's off their back. Now

(39:50):
it's like, yeah, we gota lot, we don't give a fuck
about it. Undefeated season. We'rejust here to fuck shut up, and
they're gonna do that. Nine andone. They're gonna be ten and one
on Saturday when they host the ChicagoHounds out at SaberCats Stadium. They also
it's gonna be Salute the Teachers Nightpresented by wood Forest National Bank. You're
gonna get a free SaberCats Cup ifyou're one of the first one thousand fans
there. They also have a pregameparty starting at five thirty. Heather Rayleing

(40:14):
is gonna play live, and thenthe Happy Hour drinks are gonna go gonna
go on from five to five dollarscocktails and beers with the Cats then until
kickoff at seven o'clock Saturday night.Stick around after the match, you're gonna
get post games social on the pitchwhere you can meet your favorite players on
the field, take pictures, gettheir autographs, whatever the hell you want.
You want to toss through the rugbyball around, Go ahead, you're

(40:34):
gonna have the best time ever.They got these Shepherd's pies. We had
a little bit of the Shepherd's Piesthat last time when we went out to
the game. Dude, it's awesome. You're gonna see an awesome game.
You're gonna see an awesome team,the best team in Houston. I would
say the Ashows aren't right now.They're good right They're in the last three
games Texans having started back up,so yeah. Or the Roughnecks, we
know they're fucking trash. They're fuckingtrash. But the SaberCats awesome. Nine

(41:00):
and one. Go see your Houstonsaber Gats. I got I'll have ten
pairs of tickets to give away,starting let's say Thursday, I'll start doing
that on Twitter. So pay attentionat Alex J. Middleton on Twitter,
make sure to we following, andI'll give away ten pairs of tickets to
the game this Saturday. But alsoget your tickets at Ustonsabercats dot com,
Houstonsabercats dot com. Go see theSaberCats this Saturday. Take it on the

(41:24):
Chicago Hounds, see them go toten and one. Support the boys.
Ustonsabercats dot Com, give them arow, give them a rarer. Wow,
it's the comeback kid, the comebackkid of the week. Come back

(41:45):
kid week, bitch. I thinkthat's my favorite part of the week every
week now, the comeback kid orthe ing. Yeah, well, more
time talk about SaberCats Rugby. Hellyeah, you know we love that.
We get we get hired up,talk about the SaberCats. Here. Our
first comeback kid this week is schedulesbecause the NFL schedule ease is tonight,

(42:13):
but like every year, it getsleaked. So they start with the primetime
games. Then you like learn,oh, the Packers are gonna play the
Eagles in Brazil, all right,that was kind of leaked a little early.
You learn that the Ravens and Chiefsare gonna be the opening Thursday night
game. That's when you get tosee Taylor Swift back in the box.
Don't forget about that, Robert,But now you're getting to see Pat.

(42:36):
Right before we started recording, theyleaked the Packers schedule. I saw the
Giants leaked schedule earlier this morning.Then you start playing trips like, am
I gonna go to any of thesegames? Okay, maybe not? I
I was like Carolina. Best roadtrip other than Dallas for me, I
want to go see the Giants.Oh wait, let's playing them in Germany.
Never mind, so probably not goingto Germany for that one. But

(42:57):
it's just cool to kind of lookat it. You imagine you talk yourself
in to your team winning eleven,twelve games, thirteen games, whatever it
is, and then you just youjust shit on everybody else's schedule, even
though you knew the opponent. CheckDariel, there's all those games. So
you guys, the Cowboys, they'regonna fucking suck. My two beefs with
the Giant schedule is that we suckagainst the Cowboys in primetime, and we
are in primetime against the Cowboys twicethis year, so I don't love that.

(43:20):
Now. This is also the thirdconsecutive Thanksgiving or Christmas. They will
be ruined at the Giants with metoo, So thanks a lot the NFL
fucker show. You're gonna You're gonnaruin the Cowboys. That's what I'm hoping
happens. When Daniel Jones bounces back, gets Adrian Peterson come back here and
just blows the doors off everybody withhis super strong knee you're gonna be like,

(43:45):
Okay, yeah, he's gonna goin with the Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day,
and you've got a full year oftape or at that point it'll be
over a year and a half oftape of Dak in that West Coast offense.
So he's gonna be throwing picks leftright. You're gonna be fine,
don't worry. Yeah, I hope. So I'll see you in the playoffs,
buddy, Thanks man, Thanks man. But yeah, the schedule being

(44:06):
released just it's it's fun. Andthen you get the trolling where you're just
making up all of the like youhave people just making up schedules. I
almost made up a fake texting schedulelast year. I got a bunch of
like traction on it, and thenpeople realized that, like they're playing Ohio
State on one of them when theyjust blindly retweeted it, and it's like,
yeah, they don't do that.But and then they also like you
can just make them have like fourbuys. People don't pick up on that,

(44:28):
and they just blind read like textingsschedule like they have are they playing
the Harlem Globe Trotter's Week three?What team is in Toronto? Is that
the Argonauts logo. You just dothat and people retweet it. It's a
very very easy way to get engagementand retweets before the schedule release by just
tweeting like a full fake schedule.That's a little life hack for you.

(44:49):
But schedules are back, and it'sjust kind of Football is king because nobody
gives a fuck when the basketball schedulecomes out. No one gives a fuck
when the MLB schedule comes out.No. I apologize, Robert, I'm
sure you it jacked, but like, are you like all fuck dude,
that third series of the year,we got the Cubs coming into that,
Like it's not the same. Footballis the best because like these are the
seventeen games. You only get theseunless you get into postseason. Here you

(45:13):
go, and everybody fucking cares whenthe NBA schedule comes out, knowing is
this shit the NHL schedule, Noone gives a shit. College football maybe,
but you've already kind of known aboutthose schedules for years, usually when
it's this big matchup. So theNFL just every now and then they got
to come flex on everybody, likewe're still caring. Shot to schedules.
Yeah, and Honestly, I've historicallynever really cared about the schedule release because

(45:37):
you know, I always had AaronRodgers, so I was like, it
doesn't matter, schedule send for teneleven wins at least every year. And
then last year I didn't really payattention because I was so scared about what
Jordan Love was gonna be and Ididn't know, so I was like,
I don't even want to look atit because I can't project anything. This
year, I was actually excited becausenow I know what Jordan Love it is.
But it's a new guy, soI get to go. I just

(45:58):
did a preliminary like through the lineupwhile you were talking. I had US
at thirteen and four and generous Jennagenerous with a couple of those losses.
Actually obviously had a sweeping both theBears and the Vikings. Yeah, because
you know, bust quarterbacks all overthe field. We split with the Lions.

(46:21):
I was looking at this, Giantsopen up against the Vikings. You
guys open up against the Whigles.What if we both just win Week one?
I think we will. I thinkI think it's one and we beat
each other's division rivals. We're playingthe Eagles in Brazil. They're gonna they're
gonna try and be parted out.Packers are gonna treat that as a business

(46:43):
trip. Yeah yeah, and we'regonna win. Also, Texans. If
you guys, all the Texans fansout there that are listening, If you
guys are looking for a game totravel to, if you want to play
a truff Week seven, you're playing. It's Packers are playing against the Texans
in Lambeau. I would highly recommendyou choose that game. Lambeau is a
it's a beautiful field. You gottago visit it. And I believe that

(47:04):
game is early October, so itshould be nice. You might get a
little stow. It shouldn't. Itwon't be unbearably cold. What spooky season,
it's spooky seasm Yeah, but uhyeah, go check out Lambeau if
you get the chance. It's fuckingamazing. Yes, and it's one of
the You can travel there and thefans won't be total dicks to you,

(47:25):
so you don't have to worry aboutgetting jumped or anything. And that should
be I mean, Texans Packers,that should be a hell of a game
this year. There you go.Giants also got to be the first ever.
I thought it was the regular HardKnocks. There's the Giants on Hard
Knocks, and then they're like,well, it's just actually the off season
version of Hard Knocks, which you'venever done before. So pretty much from
the end of last season until tradingcamp you get to see the Giants kind

(47:50):
of documented, which would be cool. You get to see them being like
fuck you, Saquon. If onlythey with the Texans, that would have
been the off seas some team toreally follow this year. I don't know.
I means the saga was pretty interesting. Yeah, Texans would have made
the Texans get the training camp versionof it. That would be super fuck

(48:13):
that'd be cool. That'd be cool, but shot schedules. Our next comeback,
kid we got this week is theNorthern Lights that happened on Friday.
I wasn't even aware of it.I had no idea. I had no
idea. Let me do Yeah,Like, the fucking eclipse happens and we're
like, guys, guys, guys, you have a clipse. Guys,

(48:37):
time's sun got a car off forus on and like, the fucking northern
lights here and not anything, nota fucking thing. How often do we
see the northern lights. I knowit's not as much as we see a
fucking eclipse. No, we don'tsee an eclipse as often as we see
it. It was way more thanwe do the fucking northern lights, unless
you're up north, which I'm not. Yeah, I was scrolling Twitter and

(49:00):
I saw somebody post the scene fromThe Simpsons when Seymour had his boss over
and his kitchen was on fire,and he was like, no, just
Aurora Boral was in my kitchen.But nowhere in the tweet did it say
that Aurora Boreals was going on.I would have liked to see that.
I don't know if I would havebeen able to with all the light pollution

(49:20):
in Houston, but like I want, I like that. Shit. Was
it even visible here? I don'tsee it, and I'm gonna call my
cousins. They're in the northeast.Look sent me a video. Yeah,
northern light two back? Baby FuckYeah, I didn't see it, but
I do have photoshop, so Imade it look like I saw it.

(49:44):
And we'll always add that. TheTwitter just needs to do a better job
of warning me of these things theyreally do. Also back this week is
portals. I mean, I know, we have all kinds of transfer portal
talk and football. I mean,there's not really like a time travel portal
yet. But they did set upa camera in Dublin, Ireland and in

(50:05):
New York City and they it wasbasically like a Skype call pretty much,
but just constant feed of whatever wasgoing on on the Dublin side for the
New York side and vice versa.And much like the Internet did with body
mc boat face when they were like, hey, we have this cool research
boat, why don't we let youpeople name it? And they put it

(50:28):
up to the Internet to do andthe Internet was like, we're named fucking
body mc boat face, bitch,and that's the name of a boat.
Now, when you let people justdo stupid stuff, we're dumb. We're
dumb. And the portal where itwas basically just a screen that had people.
The first day, there was anIrish person that just put the twin
towers on fire, which to thescreen, that's funny because it looked like

(50:51):
he was going to show you somethingreally important and then he showed you that.
It's just like I'm gonna troll yourwhole city. They got a chuckle,
They got a chuckle. You hada bunch of people flipping people off,
had people mooning each other, andthen you had several people flashing,
and they had to shut it down. And I think they're trying to figure
out a way to go back aroundit. But I think in all of

(51:12):
this like hatred we see going onin the world right now, this is
a good like a feel good story, even though it didn't go the way
that the people that set up wantedto go and they had to kind of
shut down. We're not that different. It just shows you at all that
different. Look, Hey, Ilike looking at tits, just like that
guy in Dublin. I am likelooking at tits. We think butts are

(51:32):
funny too. We think crude humoris also funny. We're not that different.
And maybe here's an idea, notto be political. You know,
there's a problem going on Russia andUkraine. Just put one in Russia,
put one in Ukraine. Just butwe'll see. Maybe, Hey, let's
see that the Russian girls all flashof the Ukrainian guys and vice versa.
Well, you know what, Ilike boobs too, Let's not fight.

(51:55):
Let's look at boobs sitting in thefox. Old Brother, it's good.
It's they like it. She well, maybe we don't have anything to fight
about. Yeah, no, itneeds to stay up, though. You
gotta let people troll each other.It's all in good fun. I said.
After I saw them put up thetwin towers. I was like,
somebody needs to go on our sideand hold up a picture of rotten like

(52:20):
potatoes that are rotting, and thena picture of Oliver Cromwell. Big,
you're gonna come at us about somesad shit that happened. We're gonna come
at you about some sad shit.If y'all don't know who Oliver Cromwell is,
look it up. The Irish hatehim more than the fucking Palestinians hate
the Jews. It's crazy. Hewas a piece of shit. But you

(52:40):
gotta leave it up. Just leteveryone troll each other. It's all in
good fun. That's like, youcan't you can't have people in a different
country flashing tits through a fucking videofeed. But meanwhile, I can look
ten feet to the left of wherethat's happening, and there's a homeless man
shitting in the middle of the streetright shutting that down. Just let us

(53:02):
have some fun. It's it's justfunny when some smart person thinks of these
things. They're like, you know, this is an art installation. Oh,
you guys ruined it. It's like, yeah, man, what we
do to things. We ruined thingsmost people. But we all suck equally,
which is kind of our universally likeunifier, I think. And when

(53:23):
you realize that, maybe you're notbetter than other people. We're all the
same in our own shitty little ways. Maybe we don't want to fight.
Like I would love to go tothe portal and do an Irish car bomb
right in front of them and justah hould a bunch of snakes, or
just grab a guinness and just pourit out right in front of them.

(53:45):
Yeah, beat the ship out ofa leprechaun. I would do, like
the most offensive things. No,it's okay, I'm somewhere back. Some
of my family was Irish. We'vebeen in America for four generations now,

(54:05):
it's all good fun. Yeah.So that that was one of my favorite
stories I saw this week. Anotherthing I saw is more not not really
my favorite, very terrifying is mindreading. That's something that I learned about
this week. Some nerds have Imean, I guess they had a good
intention. There's people that are speechimpaired, they are nonverbal people that can't

(54:31):
communicate with others. They found away that they say can decode the thoughts
of these people. They had someguinea pig type people that they tested these
out on, some speech impaired andnonverbal people that they used as test subjects,
and they said that they were ableto decode about seventy nine percent of
those people's thoughts into conversations. Soundsgood on paper, like cool, this

(54:58):
guy that can't talk right now willthen be able to use his mind to
do that. But you know thatthis is like a software that is probably
AI based, And how long beforewe put that in the flamethrower dog that
we just talked about like three weeksago, Like, how long before the
flame thrower dog can now see ourthoughts? Who is seconds? I mean
this, I understand the idea.I understand the idea. Avatar, Hey,

(55:24):
we can give these paraplegics a wayto walk, But then, like
this is good, this is terrifyingbecause now like the only thing we really
have is our private thoughts. Everybody'sgot your your browser hissory. Now they
can find all the stuff you watch. They can find all the stuff you
look at. They can see allthe stuff you've been to the incognito guys.

(55:47):
Yeah, and pretty soon our thoughtswon't be either, Like that's all
we got. Well you're talking,like if Pat's talking to me and he's
just like, I fucking hey,Alex, just what the fuckt the fuck
up? Fut the fuck up?And I can sense that, like what
the fuck's gonna happen to humanity?Yeah? But what's gonna happen to humanity?
This is that slippery slope. Howgreat would it be if we could

(56:09):
hook Robert up to it and histhoughts just like went talk to text on
his screen. That would be funny, Like I think it would be bad
Robert would Robert would be like justjust the whole show. It would be
Michael Fox or not Michael Fox,Michael Scott Young, No, no,

(56:32):
god, damn it, not anothernot another football jersey discussion. I like
to think that the first guy thatwas hooked up to this, like the
nurses putting the I imagine they putlike little sensors on your head and stuff,
and as soon as it's just startsreading like the guy's thoughts were just
man that nurse had nice hits.And then he's like, oh no,
they heard that. Yeah, they'regonna have an app for this shit eventually

(57:00):
perfect it. And then just everybodyis gonna be able to have thought that.
Your boss is going to be ableto be like, well, I
understand you didn't really like the ideathat I gave you, and you're like,
no, I thought it was great, and then your head, oh
no, and they're if you don'tthink that offices won't do this, oh
they will. No, no theywon't, because if you hook just the

(57:22):
average dude up and you can readhis thoughts, you're gonna have to triple
the size of your HR department ornever hire a man again. Yeah,
that's how they that's how they determinewho they let go. Like, we'll
just connect the thoughts ever have themost fucked up thoughts, that's who he
do layoffs. So like, ifpeople could hear my thoughts, it's not

(57:45):
even so much as it's bad,it's just it's so so sexual, Like
I don't think women understand that thatif you could just see the random like
the thoughts of the random dude walkingdown the street, like the nicest thing
I might think is I want tothat girl. It's gonna be like it's

(58:05):
bad. Yeah, yeah, it'sI mean it's really all we have,
like body language, pretending that youcare about something that you don't care about,
to sell somebody that, like you'rehappy for their birthday, eve though
you really don't give a shit,but you're just trying to make them have
a good day. Like that's allout the window. It's already basically eighty
percent, and they just made it. We're fucked. I still like this

(58:28):
technology. That'd be funny, likeif you could hook your buddy up to
it and he didn't realize it,Like he was passed out on the couch,
you put the sensors on his head, you woke them up and started
talking to him. But then everybodycan do that to you, probably,
but I think most people, likeafter thirty seconds of seeing my brain,
they'd be like, all right,turn it off, turn it off,
it off, turned off. Youjust gotta hope. And my my freshman

(58:52):
year in college, we had aguy that got an air soft gun that
he brought from home and he wouldshoot me with the airsoft gun. It's
a funny, little little prank youwould do, and then he did it
a lot, and then he likeit sucked when he'd be shooting you with
it. And then a couple ofus went we got our own airsoft guns
at Walmart, and then it stopped. And then just nobody try anybody with

(59:14):
their soft guns anymore, because youknew if you shot somebod else, they
were to shoot you back with theair soft gun. And it's just like,
maybe that's the point we need toget to where it's like if everybody
can see your thoughts, then wearen't going to use it to see other
people's thoughts because we know that theycould use it to see our thoughts.
Like it's like we've all got tohave it. It's like with the with
nukes, we're like, like youhad the time, this isn't this is

(59:35):
me doing history, and I'm nota history expert, but like we fucking
the Japanese dropped the drop. Wedropped the the topic bomb on Japan twice,
and then they're like fuck talk bombssuck. And then everybody builds their
own atopic bombs and now we're like, all right, well, if we
want to do like a nuclear warfarelike the whole world's over and now everybody's
got that shit. We're like,we're not gonna use it. We could,

(59:57):
we're not going to. We needto just treat mind reading like nukes.
Look, maybe we can. Wedon't need to, though there's consequences,
Alex, you just have to understandthat. At least so you've got
a daughter that's very close and youknow what, you're gonna be happy because
you're gonna have a daughter care aboutand you're gonna have more love than you
ever thought you could have. Otherthan that, life is just gonna keep

(01:00:21):
getting worse for the rest of ourlives, dude. Like we're gonna get
fun things like video games are gonnaget more cool, but just general life
is just gonna keep sucking more andmore. You think housing prices are gonna
go down at some point, No, the market crash. Life is gonna
suck and then we're gonna die.So just find whatever little bits of joy

(01:00:43):
you can in there and stop worryingabout it. The flames over dogs are
gonna read your brain and then you'regonna watch your daughter take your first step
and you're gonna be like, allright, well, at least I got
that going for me. Your daughter'sfirst word are gonna be go giants and
you're gonna be back. All right. You know it's true living in this

(01:01:05):
government prison cell, but at leastI got that going for me, all
right. Last about kid I gotfor us is Childish Gambino because he put
out an absolute banger this week.He came out the new album that was
kind of just a completion of somethinghe had already put out. But then
he came out of little Foot Bigfoot, which is the single he put out,

(01:01:28):
and it's an absolute banger. Isaid it to you, guys and
pat, I don't know what yourthoughts on Childish Gambino in general are,
but fucking slaps and the fucking videois dope. I maybe want to dance.
I'm gonna add it to uh It'sI'm adding it to a Gravy nomination
for Song of the Year, Popof the Year, Pop of the Year.

(01:01:52):
I like that. I like that. Let me see what else.
The other nominee is so Far foruh So We Got to Get Him Back
by Olivia Rodrigo, Jay Christ byLila Sex and the Squirtle Saxophone song.
Damn, It's kind of hard.To be. It's either in first or

(01:02:14):
second. It's gonna be really hardto beat Squirtle. Yeah, and Squirrel
is also nominated for mem of theYear two, So Squirrele could theoretically and
I'm pretty sure we can sing thatbecause it's from Euroversion Eurovision and we don't
give a ship about European loss.Yeah, we're not seeing it in European
either. That's true. As longyou don't see it in European. What

(01:02:42):
else we have Athlete of the Year. I only have Caitlin Clark down for
that Death of the Year two,just preemptive. He's gonna be in that
conversation. No, Livy Dunn's boyfriend. There you go, please call back,
get right, Yeah, shout outhis Gambino. Check out little Foot
big Foot if you haven't, andit's a fucking bob, just just go.

(01:03:06):
Luck not dancing. Did you checkit out at all? No?
I did not know. Yeah,well you're missing out, buddy, you're
missing out. Didn't He say?This is like he's done with childish game,
but you know after this he mayhave one more project. He said,
Okay, remember I know what thatmeans is that like he's going to
be a different PERSONA is no,he's just gonna go back to beating Donald

(01:03:29):
Glover. Donald Glover. Yeah,I I hope it means it goes back
to doing stand up yet, becausehis stand up was fucking outstanding. He
might be the most talented person onthe planet. He was a phenomenal comedy
writer, a phenomenal comedian, agreat actor. Then he just became a
serious like a great comedic actor,then a serious actor, and like like

(01:03:52):
really well respected rapper, like he'sdone all of it, and dancing because
he can dance. He can danceto me, Yes, all right,
what is this last comeback? Hidyou got here? Pat? Okay?
So my comeback here for the weekis New York Mayor Eric Adams. Some
people might remember that he went viral. There was a couple months ago for

(01:04:14):
a video showing how to check yourkid's room for drugs, and he was
like, and if you move theclock, there's a methanphetamine underneath that,
and if you move his pillow,he's got a brick of cocaine. And
everyone was like, what the fuckis going on with this video? He
somehow topped it. He was talkingabout how they need to help integrate immigrants
into the workforce in New York.But he did it with casual racism in

(01:04:41):
a way that I haven't seen itbe this impressive, impressively done to just
throw race and not be called onit at all. He was He said,
we have all of these South Americanimmigrants in our country or in our
city, but we have a shortageof lifeguards when we've got all these good
swimmers right here. And I waslike, what the fuck did you just
say to just call out that everyimmigrant is a good swimmer, because at

(01:05:06):
one point they crossed the Rio Grandewas one of the funniest statements I think
I've ever heard of politician say inmy life. Robert and I I was
just blown away. I was absolutelyblown away. Everyone freaks out when Trump
Tower or Trump says they have greattaco bowls, and they call him racist.

(01:05:29):
But the mayor of New York Citycan just imply every Mexican knows how
to swim and there's no problem withit at all. Also, it's fucking
New York City. How many beachesdo they have? How can you possibly
have a lifeguard shortage? Yeah,I don't know, it's all rivers that
nobody will go into because they're toxic. What do you need nine lifeguards?

(01:05:53):
They don't have a park fountain.They don't have teenagers in New York City,
because that's every lifeguard I've ever seen. Yeah, there too by tiktoking.
God, can you imagine the tiktoksyou could get at the beach?
Though I get really good tiktoks attalk guard life talk guard. I wouldn't

(01:06:15):
want them to save me, though, if I was drowning, I feel
like they wouldn't do a great job. That's true tiktoking and doing that they're
doing a TikTok dance or they're mimingswimming. No, I'm drowning. I'm
really drowning. I'm not pretending.He was like, no, I'm now
I'm dead. Good. So NewYork politics back shutting down portals and being

(01:06:40):
racist. On that note, we'llrecap mock draft season. Last week.
We were technically in double overtime.We had previously agreed that Robert and I
were tied after the ten weeks ofthe mandate of mock draft. Well,
it didn't matter because you weren't inthe running for it. Because Robert and

(01:07:02):
I had split the ten weeks ofthe mock draft regular season, we had
to go to overtimes. We hadone more mock draft we did and then
Pat won that, and our rulewas whoever got second if we didn't win,
would win. Robert and I bothhad the exact same amount of votes
for us, so we had togo to double overtime. Last week we
did a mock draft of Bears.Pat won again. So Pat has won

(01:07:25):
two times in mock draft season,although all of his wins have come in
extra mock draft seasons. So reallyyou could also say he didn't win any
such. I mean, you couldalso say last person to score wins.
So like I want, we're notsaying that. I'm saying that Rob making
rules along the way. No,these are the rules all along. But

(01:07:46):
so Robert and I both have fivewins. I beat Robert because last week
Pat had forty nine percent of thevote to win. I had forty one
percent of the vote and Robert hadten percent of the vote. Because I
got second, I win mock draftseason and I win nothing for it.
So shout out to me, that'syour opinion. Shout out to me for
winning mock draft season. It's youropinion. I think I won it.

(01:08:09):
You didn't. You only had twowins. There's no way I'm on a
winning streak in I'm the last oneto win. I won one hundred percent
of the last two drafts. Howmany of you won? What percentage the
last two drafts? Have you won? I won one hundred percent of the
season. No, no, no, no, you did it. That's
actually just factually incorrect. You didn'twin one hundred percent of the season.
I did win the whole season.You won what's five twelves? I won

(01:08:33):
the whole season. You won fivetwelves of the season. I want the
tiebreaker to win the season. ThereforeI won the whole season. I mean,
last one to score wins. Ithink I won. I disagree that,
but so yeah, shout out tome. Congratulations to me, and
also congratulations to you. If yougo to little mshop dot com, the
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(01:08:55):
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(01:09:40):
Instagram. Let them know you're supportingthe people that support the podcast. If
you get something from them, tagthem in your your order. You know,
cross out your address and your yourordinarr but let them know you're supporting
the people supporting the pod. Itreally would help out a lot. And
uh, you know they got allother stuff too. You get customizable stickers,
your keychains, you get compact mirrors. It's the number one place online

(01:10:00):
for retro inspired chotchkes. Their wordsand mine, not just mine, but
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(01:10:23):
not Cool segment. Not cool man, dude, that's not cool? Not
cool? All right? Are notcool segment? That's how we vent each
week. You stub your toe,that's not cool. You get attacked by

(01:10:43):
a pack of rabid dogs, alsonot cool. We like you to send
You're not cool to just find away. This is like a therapy session,
just a way to you know,sound off on what sucked this week.
At Pass Gray pot is where youhit us up on Twitter. You
use the hashtag PTG not cool.That's how we'll search for them at Past
the Grady Pod hashtag PTG not cool. So let's start with some listener and

(01:11:04):
viewers submitted not cools. Also,while you're while you're at If you're listening
to us, don't forget. Youcan always watch the whole podcast on YouTube,
YouTube dot com, sash at PastGray Podcast or just search past great
podcast on YouTube. And if you'rewatching us, go to your YouTube app
or go to your podcast app onyour phone, whatever app you use,
whether you Spotify, i heeart Radio, the the iTunes app, whatever it

(01:11:26):
is, go over there and hitsubscribe. Make sure you subscribe to us.
And if you're watching us on YouTube, hit play on the audio version.
If you're watch listening to us,hit play on the YouTube version.
Help us up a little bit,help us out a little bit. So
we'll still start with some listener andviewers submitted not cools. We'll start off
with oh Robert to be here becauseBro Bradson in a really like an all
time not cool. But let's startwith uh. Todd Voss at as Underscore

(01:11:50):
seen Underscore by Underscore TV pod says, is not cool that you ordered some
breakfast for Mother's Day for delivery,the photo showed that it was dropped off,
but not at my house. Itlooked like it might have been delivered
to the neighbor, but they hadno other evidence. At least I got
a refund. I hope they enjoyedthe food. That sucks a lot.

(01:12:15):
That sucks. Honey, I've hadit. I got food coming for you,
right, Yeah, don't cook Igot it. Yeah, I've had
that happen with my own food,and like they put it in the wrong
building or whatever it is. Andyou're mad when it's your food. But
when you've already been like, don'tworry about cooking, that's ten times worse.
That's ten times worse. You didget getting the refund helps, that's

(01:12:36):
still like the time that you werelike, well, I might as well
just make something or go get somethingat this point, or I mean more
likely then you just got to reordersomething. And hope theare that time.
That's impat Like I gave you myaddress, How did you fuck that up?
I don't know how. The GPS, like the GPS will send them
like two entire apartment buildings over fromme. Sometimes I'm like I get that

(01:12:59):
it's sort of in the same area, but not really and that's a different
address. GPS are you using.Yeah, everybody's GPS brings them here,
but whatever, like delivery drivers GPSthat they use it fucks up. I
have no idea. It's we Googlemaps. It's never done me wrong.
Yeah, I don't know at all, but like that fucking sucks, dude,

(01:13:21):
And especially on Mother's Day. You'relike, I'm dad, I'm making
a good move right now, lookat me. I got it, and
then it just kind of blows upin your face. I know that.
Like they probably didn't get she probablyget mad at you or anything like that,
but like, yeah, it sucks. It sucks. Sorry about that,
Todd. I had the reverse ofthat a while back when em was

(01:13:43):
like I really just want this foodor whatever, and I got to door
dash it from where I was whenI was not with her, Like that's
a cool move too. That waslike the reverse of that. I said,
I got it, Oh, actuallydidn't show up. I was like,
I'm not even there. Boom,here's stuff. Try that this week,
Todd, and then it'll just beWow, what a sweet guy.
Yeah, fuck flowers, order girlsChick fil A. That'll make them happy

(01:14:06):
every time. It bucks. Uh. What we got next is your Mikey
p Mikey Paul at It's just Mikeyp on Twitter. Mikey says, my
three year old picked up a brandnew jar of salsa, dropped it.
Salsa and glass everywhere, get ridof it. Yeah, but that's a

(01:14:29):
lot of saucy No the kid,Oh the kid, good point. I
know it's been three years. You'reprobably attached and you love them, But
like tha can go a fire station. Salsa is life. Don't disrespect the
salsa. Also, why does itsalsa come in placid jars? At this
point? It doesn't some but itshould at all, And I feel like

(01:14:53):
it doesn't because they know you'll breakit and you'll have to buy more.
Like why would they? Why wouldthey don't want to make it in non
breakable stuff when they could sell maybethree things of salsa instead of two.
The only time I see them comingplastic is when it's like like restaurant sized.
Yeah, because the restaurant, whichsure, they don't sell it that

(01:15:15):
way because they want you to dropit off the shelf and break it.
So like, here's my real question. Why don't they sell gallons of salsa
at grocery stores? People would fuckingbuy them. I would buy salsa by
the gallon. The worst thing aboutlike, say you're at Walgrats and you're
like chips and then you see thelittle Chotino salsa jar there, You're like,

(01:15:36):
oh, I fucking hell yeah,that jar goes so quick every single
time you finished the salsa, waybefore you're through the chips. More,
bigger salsa. That's why I'm gonnarun for some sort of office and my
platform is gonna be salsa. Yeah, who doesn't want more salsa? More

(01:16:00):
salsa is always a good move.Actually, I was going to say this
for next week, but because itcame up, I had an idea.
I could have brought up a precom segment. But my idea was I
saw somebody's dog bowl was like this. They want their dog's water bowls like
that. It's just the water coolerset up, but you had the big
jug and then it just kind ofrefills when it needs to that. But

(01:16:25):
with salsa, fuck yes, Uh. The problem with that though, you
need to keep it refrigerated once it'skeeping the fridge, keeping the fridge.
A little plastic rubber you put ontop and then keep it in the fridge
like, oh, you want somesalsa, pull it out, boom,
open that bad boy up and justdip. So I think what you would

(01:16:45):
have to do there is it wouldhave to be like a bowl that goes
with that container that's in there,and you slide the bowl into like the
base of it, and it fillsup the bowl. Then you take it
back out that way, you canyou know, reuse the bowl, cleaning
the bowl. I think that's that'sa great idea. Also, well,
people, you can use salsa saladdressing, dude, and it fucks I

(01:17:08):
can see that, dude, Ido. I'll make Mexican salads, man.
I chop up like burger meat andthen fucking just like Mexican cheese and
salsa as the dress. It's afucking perfect salad. At that point,
it's really not a salad anymore.To get it's like a you put croutons
on it. At that point,it's basically just a chopped up burger.

(01:17:29):
Like when they call those burrito bulls, they're like, it's a burrito bull.
It's like you can just say it'sa salad, burrito salad. Yeah.
I like, but that's the thing. Sometimes you don't want to get
I don't want to fucking salad.But it's a bowl. We're just we're
just taking away to the bread.I know you're you're cutting out carbs king,
You're like cool, add sour cream, then add sour cream. Then

(01:17:51):
to make up for some of thosecalories. God, I want one right
now so badly. I feel likewe're gonna we're definitely touch on something similar
to this in the answers segment comingup. But this is one of those
type that maybe salads like a boomerangtype thing, where like everything's a salad,
whether or not it's a shitty salads. Just every every every food item

(01:18:13):
is a salad. Is it ashitty sod or not? And it's like
your salad, Mexican sad, fuckingdope salad burritos are really just salads that
just have fortellas around. Well,that's another discussion for another day. Really,
I can't wait until you can finallyjust start doing this to your daughter
instead of me. She's gonna loveit. She's gonna love it. I'll

(01:18:35):
have her. You can go intofirst grade. Nick. My report is
on how everything in the world isor is not a boomerang crush. Teacher
is gonna like call home and we'regonna put yeah, you're gonna be yeah.
I taught her that we're moving yourdaughter ahead three grades. Actually she's
gonna be in third grade. Fuckinglet's go. You might be the only

(01:18:58):
person that I don't recommend homeschooling theirchildren. I would never homeschool my kids
because I'm not that much of afucking conceited fuck that I think that I
need to teach my kids over afucking regular teacher. I don't apologize you're
watchually a good homeschool teacher, butlike, I really feel like it is
kind of I don't think it's it'snot the regular it's the policies behind the
teachers. But that's a whole otherthing. It's like an anime. I

(01:19:19):
judge. You judge those homeschool kids. You judge the homeschool kids a little
bit like, oh, you wentto homeschool. M M. I think
if you're if you're going to homeschool, one, you got to make sure
they're not good at spelling bees,because then you're just you're like, Okay,
that kid's a nerd. Two.You gotta you gotta have them in
local sports, You gotta have themaround regular kids and not just other homeschool
kids. They need to go throughthe fucked up things that you go through

(01:19:44):
being in public school. Yeah,it's fun. It's really fun. Actually,
last listener slash Viewers submitted not cool. It's from Bro Brad at DeLong
Dude on and Bro Brad says,this is embarrassing as fuck. But I
sent a specimen into Colon Guard andthey came back saying the sample was too

(01:20:10):
large. What the fuck? I'ma big dude. I gotta send another
one. Cansh it off col ofGuard. You do not know what that
is. It is where you poopin a box and send it back to
them and then they test it andlet you know if you have possible colon
cancer or not. It's a prettysolid like situation that they've set up.

(01:20:30):
We've joked about how like it isweird that you just have like a poop
box. They always joke about howthey don't they the commercials they talk about
how it's a discrete package as itcomes in. But we had this guy
at my apartments that had the ColonGuard box show up. It was like,
that's not discrete at all. Hey, THEO what guard is? Yeah,
but those commercials are on all thetime. But okay, I mean,

(01:20:53):
I guess it's discreed. If youdon't know, it's like, oh,
yeah, the Nike shoes are discreetif you don't know what Nike is.
Yeah, I was gonna say boxthat'says dildo on the side is technically
discreet if you don't know the worddildo. If you can't read English,
you're good. Yeah, everything inSpanish instructions is discreet to me. So
basically, bro, Brad pooped intoa box, send it to them,

(01:21:13):
and they said that his specimen wastoo big. If they're do they have
to measure the whole poop or likedo they don't say it just like grab
a spoon and scoop part of itall. Yeah, cut in half,
so like it ruins the structural integrityof the poop when we cut into it.
I'm ninety nine point nine nine percentsure they're not sending it back to

(01:21:36):
him, but that would be absolutelyhilarious if they had to send a specimen
back return to This was impressive whenwe thought you might want to keep it.
It's this guy got stuck a goldstar on it, like, well
done. Look, we can't doanything with this, but need it.
Also, Brad, congrats on havinga large amount of fiber in your diet

(01:21:58):
and being oh regular good for you, Dude, I don't have any act
like Brad, he's got a fibergoing on. He's he's a he's a
good workout guy. If you haveworkout Tipsy, he was like, yeah,
dude, you don't need to dothe pre workout. You did a
post workout. That's how you getbetter. Here's my question. Say you
have like constant diarrhea and you're andyou're worried you have colon cancer. How

(01:22:19):
do you how can you send thema sample? Do you have like if
you have diaryhic? Can you senda sample to colon Guard? Like?
Are they do they take all comers? Or is it? Like no,
did you need to eat like seventeenfiber pills before you pooper? This box?
It's gotta be solid. I thinkthere probably rules like that. Yeah,

(01:22:43):
I mean I imagine there is,but like I don't know, I've
never seen the inside of the box, so like I don't know what it's
lined with, is it I've neverYeah, I've never had to do that
yet either. But I know,like when you pee in a cup,
you're like, oh, the cup'sgetting full. Let me you know,
you know, pinch it off realfast and then put the cup over here,
and I'll finish what I'm doing andthen you're good to go. Because

(01:23:03):
you can kind of see it,you can't really see, like, well,
the pups sort of full of poop. Let me just stop pooping right
now, like you kind of likeyou're done, when you're done. You
know. It makes me think ofin uh out Cold when they're drug testing
all the employees and everyone walks out. They just said go to the bathroom
in the cup. Everyone walks outwith piss and one dude just has a

(01:23:24):
turd hanging out of his pits cup. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe
like it didn't even fit in thebox. Brad, How big are we
talking here? Did you? I'mgonna DM him. I gotta know that
if it was that big, Ineed to know if he took a picture.
And also I need to like lookup what the size parameters are for

(01:23:45):
cold Guard because if it was sobig they couldn't accept it and he didn't
think it was spectacular. I needhim to take a picture of his next
poop and send it to me becausethat means that our man is made taking
just epic massive shits on the end. Now, dude, I need to
see it on the YouTube version ofthe podcast to go to our YouTube channel.
Past great podcast on YouTube watch thisepisode, and I want everybody to
comment the poundage they think of thespecimen. Well, actually poops are measured

(01:24:11):
and currects currects, all right,then do kirks. Then do kurks,
but just pretend it's pounds. Idon't fucking know. Just put a number
there and then just be like whatever, k and that, like, don't
say anything else, don't say anythingelse, like, don't like if you
haven't read like people, just like, why is everybody making estimates right now?
And then that'd be funny. Butgo do that on our YouTube channel.

(01:24:33):
And then also tell them what yourspirit animal is? What is your
spirit animal? Comment that too,comment both on all the posts. We
want one hundred. We want ahundred comments on our post on our YouTube
this year or this week. Ijust DMed him asking for a picture of
his poop. Yeah, no,I broad, I'll probably send it to
you. Brought the good dude though, And I mean bros send their bros

(01:24:57):
pictures of their poop. That's prettycrazy? Pretty is he not cool?
But we had to use that one. We had to use that one,
and I'd been waiting to talk aboutthat one since he sent it. The
other I hate it sometimes, Likeif I get him sent to me like
a Saturday, I'm like, fuck, I would want to talk about it
now, and like I don't wantto go back and forth on Twitter with
you, because like I want tobe able to have the discussion. It's
like, all right, I'll justeat this right now. I'm just hang
on to it, like, well, not the Pooh, but like this

(01:25:20):
isn't the NBA. Yeah, that'strue, that's true. All right,
I'll go first with mine. Notcool. This week could have been a
comeback kid, but it's mosquitoes.Mosquitoes are fucking back, dude, and
holy shit they are mean this year. They're bigger than I feel like they
were. And maybe it's just becauselike it's been a minute. But today
I was taking my dog out whenI got home from work, and it's

(01:25:42):
hot as fuck. It is ninetyit's in the nineties here in Texas,
and I was walking my dog andit's almost worse during the day in the
shade than it is at night becauseduring the day now, like they're hiding
in like any spot with shade soif you walk near a tree, like
you look down and it looked likeI was a fucking dalmatian. I just
had a thousand fucking mosquitos and I'mswatting on my leg and my leg looks

(01:26:05):
like a fucking crime scene. Bro. It's just it's it's bad. I'm
gonna start having to walk my dogwith long pants on, having to put
like just like pajab pants on andfull of shoes instead of flip flops and
shit like I'm gonna have to weara jacket so we're out there, it's
or just put on bugs bread.I could also do that too, but

(01:26:25):
fuck mosquitoes. You just forget aboutthem until they show up. And it's
that time of year and it justrained too, so it's like everything is
fucking like they are loving it.They are fucking loving it right now,
and like the grass is just tallenough because it's it's rained, so they
haven't moted again, and they're like, oh cool, we can just hide
in this tall grass. Buck youAlex, fuck you walking your dog.

(01:26:46):
I'm just gonna jump on you andand suck the fuck out your blood.
Dude. Yeah, fuck mosquitoes,they're back and they're paying the ass,
and I don't like it at all. I saw Raymundo was gonna use that
as a not cool too, ashout out to Raymundo that I was like,
this is actually my not and I'mgoing through this hell right now.
As I was replying, I wasswatting that fucking those And now I have
like the PTSD where you have ityou get itchy from it when you're walking,

(01:27:09):
and now like I'm just walking aroundthe house, Mike, just swash
myself. I saw, I sawa thing the other day. I don't
know if this will work. Soyou put like water in a coffee cup.
This is like it's not gonna preventthe things, but if you would
get a bite, you heat itup in the microwave for like a minute.
You take a spoon afterwards, youput it in there for like I

(01:27:30):
don't know, I think they saidlike thirty seconds to heat up the spoon
and then you rub that on themosquito bite and apparently something about like the
hotness of the it like breaks downthe mosquito saliva that's in the skin right
there, which just causes the swellingand like erases it. I don't know
if it works It's just a fuckingvideo that I saw online, so try

(01:27:51):
it out. I guess I'm firmlyteam inside. I don't deal with mosquitoes
as much anymore because I just don'tgo outside, like unless I'm walking to
my car or back into my homefrom my car. That's it now.
I did get bit the fuck upthe other night because my sister's a little
asshole piece of shit dog. Likewhen you let him outside, he goes

(01:28:15):
and he peas or he poops,and he comes right the fuck back inside,
unless it's the last one of theday, and then he'll just like
hang out and like run around thecorner of the house and not want to
come back inside. And there's nolights in the backyard, so then you
have to go out there. It'seleven thirty at fucking night. He doesn't
want to move. You're trying tocrawl him back towards there. He's trying
to bite you because you're trying tomove it, and then you're just like,

(01:28:36):
yeah, mosquitoes are destroying my ankles. Yeah, And I mean really
like, you've definitely probably experienced mosquitosin the last week if you live in
Texas and you've been in the grassat all at night or anything. I
want to know why they just gofor my ankles, Dude. They get
they get all over Like I hadone like right here in my face that

(01:28:57):
I had to swim out. Theydon't do my upper body. Like occasionally
I make it one on the arm, But if I have one on my
arm, it means I've got elevenon my legs, specifically the ankles.
It's always been that way. Idon't get it. No hair, it's
just a clean shot. I amvery hairy on my legs and your ankle
though I mean probably less hair.Yeah, it's not right at me an

(01:29:23):
well, I mean it's also abright light so you can't so you can't
see it as much. There's alittle less hair, but like hold on,
I canna swing the leg back thatway. I don't know, dude,
Like I'm I got hair all theway down my legs, but it's
like it's not where the hair stops, and then you have that like big
bone. It's like they get rightabove where the hair is. I don't

(01:29:45):
I guess I have delicious ass ankles. Maybe that's what it's just. It's
just all the sweat that rolls downmy body. It's like, you know,
dogs like to lick your hand orwhatever when you're sweaty because of the
salt. Maybe it's all the saltthat's just dripping down my body to my
ankles at all times. It mightbe I don't I don't know, dude,

(01:30:05):
but it's it's they got to getthe trucks coming back around. They
usually do that in the summers.They'll have those just I actually love the
sound of those. I do.As long as it's not all night,
I'll actually find it kind of soothing, as long as it's in the parking
garage next to me at night.Do they finish it over the weekend?

(01:30:29):
If they did, they were quietabout it. I haven't seen them back,
so fucking I was riding high onthat all week bye. I find
this is like that Kevin memes,like it just feels good to win one.
The enemy of my enemy is myfriend. Now. They just sees
me now, she's like, what'sup, Alex, Like, what's going
on, Lorie? What's up?Now? We're tight. See, if

(01:30:51):
you would have just been cool thiswhole time, I could have been this
nice. Yeah, we could havefucking solved all the world's problems. What
do you guys have for night pools. I was trying to race home yesterday
to make it in time for puckdrop for the Bruins, and I almost
missed it. I made it,but it was close because I missed the

(01:31:14):
red light down the street from myhouse. Because the three cars in front
of me all weren't paying attention,and people might be like, no,
pat, it was probably just thefront car, and like, that's why
there was a bunch of space,And then they were holding up the two
No, there was a bunch ofspace before that car. They were probably
on their phone, looked up,saw it was a green light. They
went. The car behind them didthe same thing, and the car behind
them, who was directly in frontof me, did the same thing.

(01:31:38):
Easily should have made this green light. No, the last car and me
both don't make it through. Iwas shaking my car. I was yelling
and so pissed off. I wasyelling so loud, like I could feel
my car shaking back and forth.I'm slamming my fucking steering whel like not
the horn, but hitting the steeringwheel. I was so angry. I

(01:32:00):
think I also had a shit atthe same time, so that was probably
part of why. But like whenI understand if you're the first person in
line and you look down at yourphone and you miss it because there's nothing.
If there's a car in front ofyou that moves, your peripheral should
be able to see it. There'sno excuse not I'll do it. If
I'm not the first person line,I'll be fucking around my phone, not

(01:32:23):
even looking out my window because Iknow I can see the car in front
of me. With that that alwayslike to hold it up a little bit,
so then you kind of have tohave it in your periphial. Sometimes
I do, but like that's more, that's even in the background. That's
but like even if I've got itdown, it's a car in front of
you, it's a three ton vehicle. You can fucking see what it moved.
I was so mad. I wantedto get out and spit on the

(01:32:45):
guy's window in front of me,but I was like, I'm not,
don't do that. I'm not doingwell. Also where it was is if
I were to open my car door, I would be an oncoming traffic at
that point because I was making aleft, So like it wasn't really an
option. Yeah, but it's justjust shitty fun. I feel like I
haven't had a shitty driver one ina while. I feel like I've wanted

(01:33:08):
to be an oncoming traffic like everyday in my life. Oh yeah,
daily, yeah. Directly after Gamestwo, three, and four of the
Brew and Hockey, Yeah, byat Sunday is this NFL season? I
was, I wish I was justright in the middle of traffic full speed,

(01:33:30):
that mean, where it's like goingfor a nice drive to clear my
head, and it just shows themdriving oncoming traffic. And then I don't
know what Robert is, Yours gonnabe Blanco, It was gonna be a
little bit be go ahead, Okay, Well, I was just gonna say
that. My other not cool isthe MLB for just being full of fucking

(01:33:51):
ship and applying completely different rules ofthe ashos than they apply to every other
team, and all the other playersare now Blanco the ress come out and
go, dude, your glove issticky. You're fucking tossed. And he
was like, I don't have anythingon either one of my hands. My
hands are completely clean. Yeah,he was like, no, my hands
and they didn't even check them,didn't check them just toss them out immediately.

(01:34:15):
Meanwhile, they washed his feet,so those commercials stopped me. I
had the fucking tweet pulled up.But they let glass Now and Shures are
both go. They let them gowash their hands and stay in the game.

(01:34:36):
They let Yamamoto change fucking gloves,and there was another guy that that
they changed gloves. But then allof a sudden, it's the ash Hos
and it's not a big like nationalname pitcher, and they're like, oh,
no, you're gone. Everyone elsecan just wash their hands and stay
in the game. You're gone.And they just announced say it's a ten
day suspension, which means like,yeah, they tested it and he obviously

(01:35:00):
had something there, but like,so, why the fuck does everybody else
get to get to wash their handsand change their glove but for us we
get fucked fucking rob Manny just tryingto you know what, won the fucking
game anyway, Ashos are on awhat four game winning streak now, Robert
three, three games, gonna befour today, and then it's gonna be

(01:35:23):
five. Then before you know it, it's gonna be Nine's gonna be right
fucking back in it. And comeOctober, everyone in the league's gonna be
all pissed off when the Ashes areback in the a LC. Yes,
they're all crying at home. Iguess the Yankees. Yankees. No,
it's actually gonna be the Red Sox, which is surprising. No, they're
where are they right now? They'reright there. I think they're in second

(01:35:47):
place. Well, I mean Iknow bost are they are they in Boston?
They might be in Tampa Bay rightnow, but they've been fucking uh
there is Yankees. Yeah, they'refive and a half behind the Yankees.

(01:36:09):
But but you know, if weknow, if recent history teaches us anything,
Yankees are gonna fade. Stop sayingthat. I know that's gonna happen,
but stop saying sorry, fuck,sorry, fuck. I keep forgetting
here Yankees. It's just bred intome as a Red Sox fan that ship
on the Yankees. But but yeah, Astros are gonna be back. We're
we're just trying to get healthy andget pitching back right now, and they're

(01:36:30):
like, oh your best picture.Ah, yeah he's gone. He's out
for the next two starts. Yeah, that was weird. They're just gonna
keep trying to ship on us.Ain't gonna work. We need to find
a way like plant cocaine on theumpires or some ship like that to get
them back. We get him back, like or just like photoshop photoshop that

(01:36:59):
picture him checking Ronelle's glove, butjust like make it look like it cocaine
all over his face, Like whatis this guy got coked up? And
we're like and let him make decisions. Can someone make a photoshop of Angel
Hernandez, like anytime he takes hismask off after throwing somebody out because he
was bad at his jop. Justphotoshop his eyes to be like like all
cross with the eye thing. Canyou photoshop him to look like one of

(01:37:25):
the three blind mice? That's better? You mean careful? What did you
think I was gonna do? Say, well, we had the whole lot
you were wearing when I did theglasses with my hands last time. Well
we were talking about Asian, right, but you were I thought it was
more side. Don't do that.It's bed, don't you what. I'm

(01:37:51):
literally not doing anything offensive for thefirst time in my life. Don't put
things not very many. I wasnot doing anything offensive. That's one time
that I know that really what fancontracts need to start shit talking to the
umpires and just take the fines.After an Angel Hernandez game, they just
need to be like, whoever's makingone hundred and thirty million dollars on their

(01:38:13):
contracts? Yeah, he fucking sucks. Ass. He's bad at his job.
We all know it. It's allover the internet. He can't do
the job. But because he's ina fucking union, there's nothing we can
do to remove him, even thoughhe's negatively impacting James at the highest level
that this sport is played at inthe world. And I'll say yes,

(01:38:34):
did you see also this week thatanother manager, the Marlins manager, almost
got ejected or he did get ejectedfor sending a fan yelled at the umpire
and they looked at it and we'relike, okay, no, you're right,
you're right, you can stay.But like they almost had an Aaron
Boone again where the fan was justyelling right above the dug at and like
for things like that, you've neverseen the umpires reverse their decision. That's

(01:38:57):
crazy. Yeah, yeah, well, because they were like, we looked
like idiots after the first one.Maybe the second time we gotta be like,
you're right, Yeah, that wasthat's on us. But what Astros
fans need to do is now everytime like that this happens, just like
photoshop whatever the umpire's faces into,like that the al Pacino or the scarface

(01:39:18):
cocaine meme, and just be likethis is here. You're gonna let call
games and I'll be this this doperover here and then just slander people that's
what they any or or put theirface on crazy eyes from Big Daddy,
or just the photoshop them in apicture with P Diddy Angelina's hanging out P

(01:39:42):
Diddy wow on Epstein's Islands. Yeah. Yeah, So just start doing those
things. That's how you get theseumpires back. Those are completely rational things.
I just I can't wait. Itshould be next year. It won't
be, it'll probably the year afterfor not you know, robot umpires,
but they'll have the review system inplace that takes so quick, and I

(01:40:05):
just can't wait for a player tocall the review on Angel Hernandez, have
it be deemed that it was astrike and have them look at Angel Hernandez
and then have him throw them outfor looking at You don't have to do
that. You have to look atme, which he did yesterday. A
player looked at him and they threwhim out. But yeah, you know

(01:40:26):
what's gonna happen. He's gonna becalled out for being wrong, and then
he's gonna toss the player for callinghim out for being wrong. I always
feel like they should have to dolike there should be a little bit more
shame in that kind of stuff whereyou're like, they should have to do
postgame well. Like I always thoughtthat in soccer when they have var video
assistant referee and like you're like,that wasn't a goal and they look back

(01:40:46):
at they're like, you know what, that was a goal. I alwayspect
the referee should have to come onthe mic and be like I like said,
I'm sorry number fourteen, but Isaid that that was a no goal.
I would like to apologize I waswrong at would just go a long
way just having to admit that you'relike Angel Hernan has been like, you're
right, that was absolutely four feetoutside. Never admit it. Never That's

(01:41:10):
where you got to make them.That's why I can't wait for the next
next time the umpires have to dotheir CBA, like the league just needs
to go Okay, you guys haveto be available to the press after the
game. That's the rules. Nowyou're and they're gonna go no it mas,
Baseball's gonna go okay, then we'lltake robot mpires. You literally have
no leverage anymore. Ever again,you have to do whatever we say,

(01:41:34):
and bottom ten percent get fired everyyear. What was was your the New
York mayor? What did he say? Eric Adams? Oh, make them
all lifeguards. Maybe we could usesome immigrants to to make umpires too.
Oh that too? Would you ratherbe a lifeguard an umpire? Actually,
I'd rather be a life guard.I'm yelled if I mean they all came.

(01:41:55):
I would never want to be goodat making choices. That umpire is
a job that like, I feellike referees are different in like football stuff.
Becuse's like, yeah, you justwant to help up. Like an
umpire you get so much control.And I feel like people that want to
be umpires and people that want tobe like politicians like sums up with this
guy. Always keep an eye outfor that guy, Like why did you
want to be an umpire? Huh? What made you want to be an

(01:42:17):
umpire? Like that guy? Youjust get all that say like fuck that
guy. I mean, job,it just gets shipped on constantly, right,
But you get to be umpiring majorleague games every day, so that's
why that's pretty sweet. Yeah,but the problem is most most of them

(01:42:39):
just aren't. Like I've always thoughtit would be fun to umpire, like
a weekend of little league games,and right away I would no, no,
but just just because the first timea parent food, I'd be like,
dude, there's six, there's six. Shut up, your kid's not
even good. I would ship talkto parents right back. You can either

(01:43:00):
leave or I'm gonna ship talk you. And by the way, your kid
strikes down and is now and thensit wider, just your son? What
are you gonna do? You gotno other arms? Is there a rule
for a little league baseball? Andlike how many people you're allowed to eject?
Because I would love to be anumpire, Like, like, you
can't do that, he would you, Yeah, you're the kid over there.

(01:43:25):
Stop spending that gumlo ground. SoI was gonna say a guard out
of you're like, you just ejectedeverybody's families. Yeah, he was so
happy. My dad was never ayell at the My diamond, boys,
is my diamond. My dad didget into a shouting match with an opposing
coach one time in the middle ofa game, and my dad called the
guy fat and bald, which lookingback, it was funny. At the

(01:43:45):
moment, it was kind of embarrassing, but it was actually very funny the
way my dad made this other coachshut up. But yeah, I never
eat. Don't. If you guyshave kids that are gonna play sports or
they are played, don't yell atthe umpire. It's a fucking volunteer who's
making like twenty bucks. Actually Ihave no idea I've made that number up,

(01:44:08):
but like, dude, it's kidssports. Your kid's not going pro,
don't worry about it. And ifthey are going pro, a bad
umpire is not going to stop thatfrom that. But I have my son's
team minus one and a half andthat shit call I didn't cover. I'm
allowed to be mad, dude.I never even thought about I would totally

(01:44:29):
be gabling on the games. Justwalk over the other side, like,
hey, do any of you guyswant some action playing sports? You can
just start showing after that and we'llput lines on it, like playing that
funfair positive soccer where they don't keepscoring. But we're like we all,
oh you can't. Oh, Iput my foot down. I'm putting my
foot down. You're not allowed toenroll your daughter in that one. You

(01:44:49):
got to find a different week.Oh I thought to be funny to do
that, but like just be likeall right, yeah, there's no sports
for one. You guys are fuckingkicking their ass. Let's go, guys,
what the hell are you doing?Like we're supposed to be having fun?
Yeah, obviously doesn't look like good. I'm not having fun reading killed
because you suck. But the dadsdo, right, I don't know.

(01:45:13):
The lines are fuck you know,think I'm paying attention. Come on,
I can count. I can playingbasketball. We put the total over at
what eight and a half points forthe game. Yeah, you probably good,
depend on what age good? Butyeah, all right, that was
the not cool segment. Robert,did you do yours? It was like

(01:45:35):
title with Pat and Blanco? Yeah, okay, all right, well then
let's move on to the answer segment. Wrap this bad boy up. So
we start the podcast every week withthe pre come sevent We pitch ideas,
We ask any questions we have ifyou have any you know, drunk thoughts
about the week, business ideas,anything you saw online. You want our

(01:45:56):
opinion on what relationship advice, parentingadvice, anything like that at all.
Any questions or concerns at pass erePod use the hashtag ptg answers. That's
how we find them. You canalso email them to us Past Grey Pod
at gmail dot com, but Twitteris the best way to find us at
Past Gray Pod hashtag ptg answers.And if you're listening to this right now,
I will be recording the Breaking Glassin case of emergency when Emma goes

(01:46:21):
into labor podcast. I'm recording thatthis Saturday. So you have any questions,
like, we'd like you to stockpilesome questions so maybe I can use
some of those for that that episodethat will come out when Emma as the
baby. We had to take aweek off. But just send those questions
in hashtag ptg answers at Past thegree Pod on Twitter. This is the

(01:46:43):
answer segment. We'll just answer thequestion. Why do you just answer the
question? Your answer answer question,don't thanks the subject, just answer dot
couprink question. Let's just answer answeranswers, answers, answer to answer to
answer to just any questions. Allright, let's start what what you got.

(01:47:06):
I did just see the whole Yamamotothing. He had white lining on
his glove. That's why he wasasked to change his glove. It wasn't
it wasn't. It wasn't a stickything. Yeah, he's using an illegal
glove. Throw them out. Iheard he was using those white lines to
like there were betting lines. Hewas like over under, like when he
moved the lions mm hmm, andthe umpire let him do that so he

(01:47:30):
could snort cocaine off of those lines. Yeah, just because Asians like to
gamble, he gets away with it. Bullshit. Ashley Wilkins has our first
question this week. She's at BusterHealer Mixed on Twitter, and Ashley says,
what robot animal do you think youcould defeat in a fight? Bird?

(01:47:50):
Obviously, are you taking any robotbird? Any real birds? That's
that's a drone. I could suckup a drone. Those blades are spinning
pretty fast. You punch under,dude. I mean I was thinking more
like a drone with missiles. No, that's just that's not an animal,

(01:48:14):
but it's it's it's a robotic fly. No, No, what robot animal
do you think you can defeat.I mean really, the basis of all
this would start at that Boston Dynamicsdog. The flamethrower dog could not defeat
that. So it's got to besmaller than that. But the dog,
but the robot dog that doesn't havethe flames ower, I could take that.
No, no, no, no, no, oh yeah, what

(01:48:38):
about it doesn't move? Kid's toywere about dog was called? Oh yeah,
oh yeah, I could fuck thatthing. I'd kick it into a
wall. I could do uh,I could do like a robot rat.
I think that's about as big asI could confidently feel like I could take
out regular rat or New York brateither. I was gonna say, like

(01:49:02):
a robot frog. I could suckup yeah, he stop the fuck at
it bit. Yeah, if Ican, I gotta be able to pick
it up and smash it as hardas I can, And I feel like
I could do that with a robotrat the robot bird. I mean,
just again, this is always mightif I'll just punch the fuck out of
that thing out of the air,like I'll just like it can come at

(01:49:24):
me all at once, I'm fuckingtaking it down, and once it's not
able to fly anymore. Game over, I have won. It's a robot.
It's made out of metal. Youcan't punch metal. You can,
you can't, You'll break your hand. That's fine. I don't feel anything
new to adrenaline. I'm here.I'm here to kill. I'm here to
kill as someone who might have brokenthe wrist one time on a punching machine

(01:49:48):
and then hit the bag again.I guarantee you're gonna feel it the second
time. I could get No matterhow drunk you are or how much adrenaline
is going through there, you're gonnafeel it. And you can take a
rat and you take a robot.It's rat. The dog, the Boston
Dynamics Dog, I think, islike the biggest. You can even argue

(01:50:11):
and you can't beat it. Youwouldn't beat it. You just go.
It doesn't move well. Later you'rejust gonna get on the side and tip
it over. You haven't seen thenew ones. They fixed it. They're
fucking We're fucked. Tell you what. That that robot that they have that
dances and black I could, Icould. I could take that one out
while it's doing a backflip. Ijust knock it over and then sit on
it. Rob what do you think. Yeah, it's gonna be something.

(01:50:38):
So I'm thinking like a like agrasshopper, you stop it. Yeah,
it's it's so small though, youmight not see it coming. That's why
I was gonna say, like arobot mosquito. But it's gonna have a
little needle on its neck that it'sgonna fucking get you. So you gotta
go a little bigger than that grasshopgrasshopper. I think it's too small.
It can get you without you knowingit's there. Right, Rat is big

(01:51:00):
enough to where you could see itand stomp it. Robot turtle, I
could fuck up a robot turtle.Yeah, I would stopped off funk out
of a robot turtle and just flipit over walk away. Yeah, spin
it around, so we go.Turtle a robot Galapagos turtle. Those things

(01:51:30):
are huge. That's a tortoise,that's what I would Rat. I think,
like Ashley said, it was asnake, it was a robot snake.
I don't Yeah, I didn't likethat. I don't like that they
can because it's got the robot abillity. They can just move too fast.
Like I'm not gonna fuck with thatbird. Though, robot bird and fucking

(01:51:51):
it up, robout rat sucking itup, tortoise fucking it up. Yeah,
all right, great question, Ashley, great question. What do we
got next? Dave T's at ppwlone on Twitter and he says, why
are humans the only animals that needto wipe their ass? Technically we don't

(01:52:15):
need to, I guess, butI think we're the only animal that really
has like ass cheeks like we dothat would get in the way. Most
other animals, like dogs and stuff, there's no cheeks there for poop to
get on it. They just kindof squat over, poop comes out done.
There's nothing for it to hit orget caught on. Even like chimpanzees
and apes. You ever looked attheir ass, they got no ass,

(01:52:36):
They got a hank hill ass.I didn't think about it, but us,
because of the way we poop onthe toilet and then we stand up
but cheks close back together. Ijust figured we were like the only animal
that really felt shame and like like, oh this is dirty. Now,
this is just how I am,Like I just take a shit. I

(01:52:58):
guess shit, let's go like peoplelike I should make sure my ass is
clean. And also now you reallydon't need to. The days are even
in America now they are. Imean there's a lot of factors though,
it's just I think they wipe thewetness away though, right, yeah,
butle unless you have like an airdryer. They have those two now probably

(01:53:25):
probably, Yeah, I mean Ifeel like there's lots of ways. I
think it's because the cheeks will bethe only animal well, because I mean,
and also, like we're you gotto have hands. You gotta be
able to like wipe your ass.A lot of animals that's not a possibility
for them, so they're ruled out. And then you gotta be able to

(01:53:47):
like have enough shame to be likeI can't just walk around with a shitty
ass all day to do it,and most other animals don't give a fuck.
Yeah, I mean, like theonly other animal that could really do
it would be chimpanzees and they'll poopin their hand and throw it, so
yeah, so they don't have thatshame. So yeah, I would say
shame. It is probably number one. And shaman but cheeks and butt cheeks.

(01:54:12):
Oh band name shaman butt cheeks,Shamon butt cheeks. Shame and cheeks
sounds like a bad Buddy cop duo. So one you guys embarrassed all the
time, and then one dude hasa BdL good question, Dave. The

(01:54:33):
next one from alex Oh, he'sthat alex mc thunder one on Twitter.
Our rating MVP from the Gravy Awardslast year. Alex O gives us our
power rankings for the week. Yeah. We always tell you if you give
us five similarly related things and wewill power rank the fuck out of them.
We're better than everyone in the worldof power ranking things. Alex Do
says power rank sandwiches and gives usPEB and J BLT grilled cheese, meatball,

(01:54:59):
sub and Philly Cheese steak. Robert, you go first, BLT,
meat Boss sub, grilled cheese,Philly cheese steak, PP and j ik
PP and J is gonna be last. It's like not even a sandwich,
it is. I mean, it'snot even a sandwich. It's not even

(01:55:20):
a sandwich. He's just trying tomake his mat. Don't let the match
when fight it, fight it?Okay, I'm back. What do you
got, Pat, I'm going PPand J number one. It's one one.
Guess what it's ready to go?You don't have to cook anything.

(01:55:43):
You just slap the ship together,Pam. But you can at any moment
you're at max two minutes away froma PP and J. It's beautiful,
uh pp and J number one,number two meatball sub people, It's just
it's it's delightful. It's a perfect, beautiful sandwich. Three we're gonna go

(01:56:03):
with the BLT growing up, didn'treally want them. There's not enough meat
and I need like a burger withthe bacon, lettuce and toma. Now
I'm like, dude, I justload that shit up with bacon or just
it's or if you don't want tobe too full belt perfect, get some

(01:56:23):
Japanese mayo to put on that shittoo. Bro, you're fucking living like
a king. Three what am Iat? Three? Four four? I'm
going to grilled cheese, simple butelegant and beautiful and five Philly cheese steak.
It's a great one. I lovesteak on the sandwich and everything too,
but just it being the Philly cheesesteak, I think it means you

(01:56:46):
have to have that yellow Wiz onthere, which I'm not talking about.
I'm a big fan of yellow Wizcheese, but like I just I think
all of these other ones are bettersandwiches, even though there's steak on that
one in the Philly chees steak isgreat. A big part of it for
me is simplicity and how quickly amI going to be eating this meal?

(01:57:06):
That's fair, So I'm gonna goone grilled cheese. You were just talking
simplicity. That's the good sandwich tome because it's like, what do I
need bread cheese done? Who doesn'tlike cheese? Psychos, tomato? You
had to do anything? I mean, really grilled cheese, that's the best
part about it. But grilled cheeseis simple. It's the goat sandwich because

(01:57:29):
everybody, like I could eat agrilled cheese for every single meal, every
single day, I'd be okay withthat. Grilled cheese. Fucks. Number
two is blt because it's belt isawesome. It just combines three great things
into a sandwich. Number three ispp and j simple, easy to do,
put it together. Like that Numberfour Philly cheese steak, I just

(01:57:50):
call it cheese steak. Yeah,it's cool to me, Like sandwiches like
that is a cheese steak sandwich.Sandwiches to me, they gotta be the
two slices of bread, not thehogi bun, even though you can have
them as a hogy bun. That'sthat's what I looked at it, which
is why I also put meatballs upat five. I feel like I've had
more cheese steaks than meatball subs.They were kind of neck and neck in

(01:58:12):
that one meatball subs. Fuck,but like, I'd rather have meatballs not
on a sandwich. Although when you'relike, hey, Alex, we could
add meatballs to the sandwich, I'mlike, yeah, it's gonna absolutely make
the sandwich better. I'm cool justmeatballs on their own. But I'm gonna
go grilled cheese belt PB and Jcheese steak and meatball sub. The gourmet
was I'm a simple man. I'ma simple man. You know I need

(01:58:34):
the gourmet stuff. I had anentire loaf of breads worth of sandwiches this
weekend. I bought a bunch ofsandwich bread and I was like, I'm
just gonna eat sandwiches all weekend.Fucking great. I hate four sandwiches a
day for three straight days. Thatis the most satisfying feeling when you can
like make sure you go through thebread and it's the most piece of shit

(01:58:55):
feeling ever when you're like, butthis small loaf of bread, all I'm
gonna have is is, you know, like sandwiches all weekend and then you
do her to ash four times andyou didn't use the bread except for one
o'clock. Why I buy this bread? I was making double decker sandwiches.
Oh that's a good idea, broCrispy romain lettuce. Hell yeah, all

(01:59:18):
right? Great question or great greatpower rankings alex so at alex mathunder one,
keep them coming. Send us yourpower rankings for next week Gang and
for the I'm recording that episode Saturday, so give me some power rankings to
do on Saturday too with our specialguest. Our. Next question is from
Josh Tree Caddle at Joshua Tree sevenone three. I was very excited about

(01:59:42):
this when I saw it come in. Josh says, much like how everything
is a boomerang or a ladle,and whether it's good or bad will be
determined. How about umbrellas? Whatgood or bad umbrellas have you guys determined?
When not having an actual umbrella?I think this is actually nails comparison.
Everything is an umbrella. Yeah,this one argue this one is not.

(02:00:05):
Yeah, everything in the world isan umbrella. Whether or not it's
a good umbrella, that is upfor debate. Name anything, Robert,
and I'll tell you shitty umbrella orbad umbrella or good up decent umbrella.
Look, there's the exact word Iwas gonna say, was decent. You
know what, the the best notumbrella umbrella is trash bag. Trash bag.

(02:00:27):
Yeah, the trash backs are greatumbrella. Yeah, that's exactly what
you're doing. You're ponchoing it.But you don't even have to stick the
head there. You just fucking coveryourself and run out to your car.
I used to see in like school, you see someone holding like their binder
over their head. That's a shipone. You're literally everything else is getting
wet. You just don't want thetop of your head wet. And your
hair is still getting wet, bythe way. Just you're barely covering your

(02:00:48):
head. That's a bad umbrella.Newspaper pack decent, A million newspaper bad
mid Most newspapers are ship ship material. It's just gonna go right. Yeah,
that would be bad. Yeah,lots of things are. It's very
porous. Jacket, pretty damn goodumbrella. Very good. So you see

(02:01:11):
all those all those business guys runaround, they're suiting suit and jackets.
What else you got? What otherbrain busters you're off for us? A
baby car seat probably a pretty goodumbrella as long as it's not a baby
in it. Not full coverage,but yeah, it'll still it'll still keep
you dry and general. Also goodlike it would you turn it upside down,

(02:01:32):
flip it over your head and it'scovering your back. Yeah. At
another good one. Pizza box,very good, very because you got layers.
You had the top part and thenit's gotta get all the way through
for it to drip. Hopefully you'vealready finished the pizza. But even if
you haven't, you can just stackboxes. The empty empty beer case.
The great of a grill, nota good, very not a good umbrella

(02:01:58):
at all. You lot of waterthrough that. But the top of a
grill, solid umbrella, pretty solidumbrella. Yeah, it's actually in the
shape of an umbrella. If you'relooking at the old Smokey's kind of right
there, or just the regular charcoalone that's kind of like you just need
a pole and you you got tojust a makeshift umbrella. Trying to look

(02:02:23):
at things in this room that wouldbe decent umbrellas and everything looking at picture
frames solid depending on how big theyare. But yeah, not a lot
of coverage. Legal pad mediocre,mediocre. That one down there, that's
oh no, free ads. ButI don't know how to cover things now.

(02:02:43):
My arm is just blocking. Now, my arm is just blocking the
picture that I was trying to show. But that's a big picture frame.
Good umbrella. Yeah, so everythingis an umbrella. Whether or not it
is a good umbrella or bad umbrellaup for debate, but nobody can tell
you that's not an umbrella. Yeah, I fucking is a Poncho'd say it's

(02:03:04):
about ninety percent good umbrella. It'sI guess there's an umbrella on steroids.
I would say that's an all purposeon their head. Coverage of your body's
covered, but not your head.That's why. Have you ever seen a
pancho? They got a hood broThey all come with that. No,
no, no, you're thinking ofrain ponchos. I'm thinking of traditional Mexican

(02:03:25):
Uh. Well yeah those are bad. Those are not good. I mean
it's pretty, it's gonna keep mostof your body wet. A little bit
on the sides in your head aregonna get wet, but your body's gonna
stay pretty much dry. So yeah, everything is an umbrella. Great question,
Josh Tree. In the future,if you would like to say,
just give us an item and saygood or bad umbrella, we will tell

(02:03:46):
you good umbrella, bad umbrella.That's that. That's exactly. Let's make
this our boomerang thing, you know, come on like that. We should
boomerangs and ladles. You know,they had their run, but now it's
it's an umbrellas time. It's umbrellas, isn't car Matt could be a halfway
decent one, and cart would bea great umbrella because you got that.

(02:04:10):
It's like rubber eyes, not gonnanot gonna see not all mine has a
little bit of thought on it,so it can get a little bit wet.
But some people have those like preformed, especially the rigid ones.
Oh great umbrella. Yeah, yeah, umbrellas, dude, shout at the
umbrellas. A restaurant sheet pan wouldbe a pretty good one too. I'm

(02:04:33):
just thinking of all the a lotof this this whole time. I've just
been thinking of things that are insidewhen I'm at work, a lot of
pans would be really good umbrellas.Yeah. General, great question, Joshtree,
great question, buddy. Our finalquestion will end it on this one.
This is from Raymundo bing Avdez atk Mundo b on Twitter, and

(02:04:56):
he says, if you could haveany superpower you wanted, but you had
to give up orgasms forever, wouldyou do it? No, dude,
if you can't come, Literally,what is the point of life? Yes,
put that on a quote card.Yeah, I mean think about it,
Alex, would you trade a superBowl for the chance to ever have

(02:05:17):
a kid again? Because if youdon't orgasm, you ain't having a kid.
Oh, it is my superpower?Is my superpower that I could make
the Giants win the super Bowl everyyear? That's not a superpower. That's
more of a genie wish. Thatwould be a superpower though, is that
I can just influence my team towin. If my superpower, if my

(02:05:41):
superpower is that I could make theGiants win any game, I absolutely give
up orgasms for it. So eitheryou're in that case, you're either just
condemning yourself to a life of blueballs or you're just never touching your wife
again. So you're choosing divorce iswhat you're choosing. You would rather get
divorced from Emma. If you canjust still let the Giants win, it

(02:06:08):
might actually be better for them.But then, but then he's just gonna
be blue balled the whole time hiswhole life. Do you think he's doing
that? Are you bluebald? Ifyour team is the world champions? Because
I think yes, because your callsare swollen it in pain, you just
can't come. That would be likethe worst. It's like it's not like
you're gonna stop getting hard, andit's it's just like a magical thing that
like stops to come from reaching thetip of your dick, and you just

(02:06:30):
can't come. So it's all there, but you're just there's no release.
Now. Fuck that, dude,Robert. If the Astras were guaranteed to
win every World Series from now on, but you could never get to finish
again, do you do that?You make that trade? I think I
might have to, right. It'sthe team. It's the team that makes

(02:06:54):
you the happiest. And I getthat. You know I'm not gonna have
any kids. I wasn't gonna sayI'm I was just picturing Robert coming I
was gonna say, I'm picturing Robert'sface superimposed over Brad the hit from the
Glorious Passage. I'll take that deal. Yeah No, I'm not. I'm

(02:07:18):
not. You're not doing it well. Which, by the way, you
guys, you're already off topic again, that's not a superpower visibility flight,
Dude, I get to determine theking superpowers. I'm the king super arguing
because I'm louder and will argue longerthan anyone else. Yeah, but I
have a mute button and I canmute you. That's a good point.

(02:07:38):
You've done that before. Yeah.No, I'm not. I determined superpowers
if I want that super but that'smy superpower. Also, think about this.
You're gonna make a feel bad becauseshe's gonna be like, I can't
even make my husband come. Wecan work out an arrangement or whatever.
If the Giants are man is superBowl, I'm believing I'm very easy to.
You're gonna make your You're gonna makeyour wife feel not pretty. That's

(02:07:59):
a rude fucking thing to do,right, I wouldna, she's gonna get
insecure. I'm just saying, dude, the Giants who win the Zuper Bowl
every year for the rest of men. I thought would be the coolest thing
in the world. Plus this way, if it can't come, you've got
no excuse to not make them come. One hundred percent of the time.
That's fine. I just get ridlygood at it. Yeah, I don't

(02:08:22):
think you would. Okay, howabout this, Giants win every Super Bowl
for the rest of your life.But whenever they play the Cowboys and the
Eagles, they lose, but theystill win a Super Bowl. They still
win the Super Bowl. They justnever beat the Cowboys and Eagles again.
And I still can't come. Yes, still can't. So you got to

(02:08:43):
listen to the Cowboys fans ship talkingyou and after a while, if you
see, here's the thing, everySuper Bowl, if that's everything, Oh
yeah, I do that they lose, meaning they start to lose, meaning
after a while, if you're winningevery Super Bowl, it's not fun to
watch any you know what's going tohappen. If the Giants won one hundred
Super Bowls. I would just beas jacked every single time. It's it's

(02:09:05):
a great feeling. If you hadto lose, if the Giants, if
the Giants had to lose to theCowboys and the Eagles. So it's four
losses a year, just built inand then to my most hated teams,
but they won the Super Bowl.I do that every time. I'm like,
you, guys, doesn't matter whofucking cash, we still lost.
You take off when we play youguys, who gives a ship? It's

(02:09:26):
a superpower? Is that I'm reallygood at influencing my sports team. I
can do that teleportation or coming comingand see And that's like teleportation is the
most elite superpower. No, it'snot. What's better invisibility, You're you're

(02:09:48):
a fucking per I wouldn't want tobe invincible invisible. Invisibility you can just
run away from everything like no onecatch it. Okay, you have to
run. Running fucking sucks. Teleportation, You're just like, poop them over
here, now, poop them somewhereelse, ongoing where else. They just
hang out. Even if you're invisible, you get stuck in traffic. Guess
who doesn't the guy who can teleportno traffic ever again, dude, you

(02:10:16):
never have to pay for fucking flightsagain. You don't even have to get
a goddamn passport, Dude, youcan just teleport across the world. The
police in that country like, yeah, let me see you a passport.
You're like nope, pop gods wantto take that overcoming. If I was
invisible, why I have to payfor a flight ever? Walk on dude,
doors open, go What what areyou gonna do if you're hanging hungover

(02:10:39):
lay down invisible, You're just gonnalay down and not come. Yeah,
you're dude. If you choose invisibility, this is when I've evolved. Like
when I was in high school,yet invisibility was the one I want to
see. I want to see nategirls. Now I'm in my thirties,
I'm like, you're a fucking pervert, dude. No, I think visibility

(02:11:00):
lets you just disappear like I see, dude, you see somebody you don't
want to talk to. You done. If you're invisible, eventually you're going
to creep on someone and see themnaked. After a while, you just
run out of things to do invisible, and eventually you're gonna be Because I
don't think I'm a cree naked,but when you you would become a total
pervert. I don't think I wouldbecause I'm not you. Dude. How

(02:11:24):
does anybody get any of their kinks. Over time, you could become accustomed
to one thing, like that's notenough, and you gotta spread it out
and you do more ship. Eventually, being a visible you're gonna you're gonna
get bored with it. Yeah,you know, it never gets bored.
I wouldn't pick invisibility anyways. Ipicked my Yeah, your team winning,
your team winning the super Bowl.It is not it's subjectively not a superpower.

(02:11:50):
Super Bowl superpower. They literally farea word. They're kind of the
same thing. Yeah, so dosuper Bowl and like fucking super Ball,
that doesn't They don't have anything todo with each other. My superpower would
be that I could control things inmy mind, and the things that I
can control with my mind would bethe scores of the Giants game. So
therefore that is the superpower I win. I think the only one I would

(02:12:13):
take then would be my superpower isto take away other people's superpowers. And
granted I would never get to comeagain, but then I just got to
ruin out thing. For ruining thisentire exercise. You wouldn't do it.
You just said you wouldn't give upanything to do that. Actually, here's
what here's exactly what you give upfor constant super bowls. Then I give

(02:12:33):
up coming to be able to stopyou from getting that, and then since
I can't come, I fucking killmyself. But then I give my powers
back because you're not there, andthat's the one thing holding my powers back.
So put this online, unlive myself. You already said it in case

(02:12:54):
he's actually but you think we're gonnaclip that part. No, I meant
as a clip, Robert God,definitely nobody put us that lomp three feet
above your ass. Okay, Iwould, I would give up orgasms.
It's not my super Bowl or formy superpower. I still want to that

(02:13:16):
would not. I want the chase, that's fine. I want one thing,
like, just do you have anyidea? I've got a foot team
every year, though, so I'mnot used to what you go through.
So that my life was how many? That was? How many? I'm
sorry? They want how many yourlifetime? Okay? Cool Min's one three,

(02:13:43):
so that's crazy. That's more.You good all the old time,
all right? Doesn't matter. Ifyou're good all the time, you win
all the time, you win allthe soupies, doesn't matter. The New
England Patriots were we're eighteen and ohone time if I can bro if I
keep the streak of Actually, nowthat's not how the streak went. I

(02:14:03):
was gonna say one super Bowl everydecade, but the Giants have that.
We're coming up on that. Sincethe eighties, the Giants have won the
Super Bowl every decade once at leastStackers. The Packers didn't. We missed
either the two thousands or the twentytens, depending on which you count the
twenty ten super Bowl in which decadeGiants one or the Giants have? Yeah,

(02:14:26):
the eighty six, ninety one,they went two thousand and one,
didn't win, then two thousand andseven, twenty twelve, and so you
said three and I was like,I don't believe I forgot about ninety one?
Yeah, yeah, did you hostthat one? All right, great

(02:14:46):
question. It's fine. My teamwill be a super Bowl champion, and
like every day doesn't matter, myteam's going Like knowing that your team is
going to win would just you don'thave to worry about any game. It's
like, doesn't fucking matter, likeRobert, you know, and I wouldn't
not even for gambling. Robert wassaying about like would you rather if you
had, you still had to loseto like your two hated teams both times.

(02:15:09):
I still have to lose two gamesof the Calories and two games of
the Eagles every year. But it'slike I can boring because you know what's
coming at the end of this season, a fucking championship sports though, Like
why it's a good outcome, notthe dude. It goes to the whole
thing. You don't tape games towatch them later. It's a game.

(02:15:31):
There's gonna be more. It's likelike a baseball game. You wouldn't like
have three of them recorded. Belike I didn't catch last Tuesday's game,
let me watch that one. No, like because you know what happens already.
Maybe you wouldn't. I watch film, bro, I don't watch film.
I just go out and I'd beexcellent every time. Film is a
cut for the week because it's apersonal life choice you make on your own.

(02:15:56):
Great questions. Everybody on the answerssegment guys, pass Gary Pod,
Hashtag, ptg answers, I,Matt, Alex J. Middleton, Pats
Not Pat, Dan, Robert isAt, Robert Barbosa zero three give us
a follow on all of those.Make sure you subscribe to the YouTube channel.
If you are, you're chatting witha friend, be like, hey,
check out this cool podcast. Youshould go subscribe to it. Just

(02:16:18):
give them a subscribe to it andthen maybe get them to hit play on
it too. And then yeah,if you're watching us on your YouTube,
go hit play on the audio version. If you're listening to us, go
hit play on the YouTube version aswell. Help us get the clicks on
both sides. Make sure you subscribeto the YouTube channel and that you're following
us on all socials. You guysare the best. Uh yeah, I
got send me, send me someextra like load me up with some answers,

(02:16:41):
questions and if you had any notcools, load me up with some
of those. I'm gonna be recordinga Saturday An episode on a Saturday and
with that, I guess that's that'sall we got. Let's let's guess some
random people. I'm gonna go DonaldGlover. I'm gonna go Donald Glover is
my random celebrity that I will guess. Comment your celebrities in the comments too

(02:17:01):
on the YouTube. What'd you say? Fernando Vealezuela, Fernando Valenzuela. What
do you got, Robert, I'lldo Queen Latifa, Queen Fernando Valenzuela,
and Glover. Right, that wouldbe a hell of a dinner. Here
we go. We're starting with JillianAnderson is the first person. Neil Armstrong

(02:17:31):
trying it again. America was runningback, same people, same people,
John, I love him all right? Third one John, Queen Lativa,
Donald Glover, Fernando Vealezuela. Who'she gonna be? Who's he gonna be?
Three? Two one Jamal Duff,professional footall player. He's Michelle from
Dodgeball. Ah. Okay, seeit really is random. Celebrities kept saying

(02:17:58):
one more, and we kept doingit over and over and told Bot like,
how many do you think it wouldtake? Before? Bobby said something
like you think you could say quietfor five consecutive minutes of that? We
could probably do ten if we didfast like that. If we were just
taking forever and we had to guesslike a new person each time, he
would get really fed up fast.That's why I don't ask this to go

(02:18:20):
around the room again. I haveI always have like four in case for
some reason, you guys just pickedthe two random people that I had,
like I got a backup. Ihad Lady Bird Johnson, Tina Fey,
Tom Hardy, Muhammad Ali and AubreyPlaza. I just try and think of
the most random people who before westart, and then it's like, just
go with that one. All right, Well, nobody's got it yet.

(02:18:41):
Good luck everybody. Maybe one ofus will get it next time. I
have a great rest of the week. We love you guys, until we
talk to you next time. Pastthe baby, Yeah bitches, baby gang
gang Gang Baby, powder the topand is spread man. That's where listen.

(02:19:03):
Then to Pastor Grady Gray, wgoin fishing for your bitch today with
drunk in Houston. Now Houston,bab Now we go ahead and lin kelp
get rich today bench bitch Houston.That's it's on Town Town passa gravy passer,
Loud, Loud, we can talkand go for hours hours entertainment,
superpower, gravy gang, getting louder, louder, cast up, no childer

(02:19:26):
had we laugh, no prouder,Live on heavy, put the top and
lead and spread man. That's wherelisten. Then to Pastor Grady Gray,
Well, go fishing for your bitchtoday with drunk in Houston. Now,
Houston bab, Now we go aheadand lick ken get Rich today bench bitch

(02:20:01):
dude, if you can't come,literally, what is the point of life