April 24, 2025 • 40 mins
We kicked off the program with four news stories and different guests on the stories we think you need to know about!
Antisemitic Incidents in New England in 2024 Break All Previous Annual Records for the Fifth Year in a Row. With Samantha Joseph - ADL New England's Regional Director
One Warm Coat, a national nonprofit dedicated to providing free coats to children and adults in need. With Beth Amodio - President and CEO of One Warm Coat joined in.
Seth Kopald, PhD - certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner & Author of "Self-Led: Living a Connected Life With Yourself and With Others" checked in.
Julio Vincent Gambuto – Author & Moviemaker of "Please Unsubscribe, Thanks!: How to Take Back Our Time, Attention, and Purpose in a World Designed to Bury Us in Bullsh*t." also checked in.
Listen to WBZ NewsRadio on the NEW iHeart Radio app and be sure to set WBZ NewsRadio as your #1 preset!
Antisemitic Incidents in New England in 2024 Break All Previous Annual Records for the Fifth Year in a Row. With Samantha Joseph - ADL New England's Regional Director
One Warm Coat, a national nonprofit dedicated to providing free coats to children and adults in need. With Beth Amodio - President and CEO of One Warm Coat joined in.
Seth Kopald, PhD - certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner & Author of "Self-Led: Living a Connected Life With Yourself and With Others" checked in.
Julio Vincent Gambuto – Author & Moviemaker of "Please Unsubscribe, Thanks!: How to Take Back Our Time, Attention, and Purpose in a World Designed to Bury Us in Bullsh*t." also checked in.
Listen to WBZ NewsRadio on the NEW iHeart Radio app and be sure to set WBZ NewsRadio as your #1 preset!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's nice eyes.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Unknown, Boston's news radio. Kyle Bray great radio name short, sweet, sweet,
two monosyllab syllables like Dan Ray, Kyle Bray, really good, Thanks, Kyle,
appreciated a whole lot. Good evening. Everyone in welcome and
no excuse me. This is where's the week one? It's
(00:23):
a Thursday night edition of Nightside. I was just talking
with Rob Brooks, our producer, and how disappointing that loss
was today. The Red Sox ace getting dusted up a
little bit in the first two winnings by a team
from Seattle that does not really I think threaten too
many pitchers, but they got to him early today and
they hung on. So hey, there's still one game above
(00:45):
five hundred, that's for sure. My name is Dan Ray.
I'm the host of Nightside, and as we do every year,
I would like to just acknowledge this today as Armenian
Remembrance Day. The White House today released a statement that
on this day of remembrance, we again joined the great
Armenian community in America and around the world in mourning
the many lives that were lost every year. On April
(01:06):
twenty fourth, we reflect on the strong and enduring ties
between the Armeric between the American and Armenians people, Armenian peoples.
We're proud of the American Committee for Armenia and Syrian Relief,
a groundbreaking effort established in nineteen fifteen that provided crucial
humanitarian support to Armenian refugees, and grateful to the thousands
of Americans who contributed a volunteer to help the Armenians
(01:30):
expel from their homes. And again, there's a lot of
good that goes on in the world, but obviously there's
a lot of bad that goes on in the world.
And so we remember Armenian Remembrance Day today, twenty twenty five.
We have a lot of listeners and a lot of
folks in the Greater Boston community of Armenian heritage, and
(01:51):
several of them are good friends of mine. So that
acknowledgment was for everyone in the Armenian community. We have
four guests scheduled this hour, and one of the guests
is joining us right now, Samantha Joseph. Samantha Joseph the
Anti Defamation League New England's regional director. And so we
(02:13):
moved from the way Armenians were treated to the way
Jewish people are still being treated. Last year, twenty twenty four,
apparently there was a record number of anti Semitic incidents
here in New England. So to switt this up for us,
Samantha Joseph joins us, Samantha, welcome. I'm sorry that we
(02:35):
have to focus on such a negative story, but I
think we have to kind of shine the light on
this sort of behavior which, for some reason just doesn't
seem to want to go away.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You're welcome. Tell us about I guess the anti Semitic
incidents here in New England sad to say, for the
fifth year in a row, all previous annual records. I mean,
this is in the wake of what happened on October seventh,
twenty twenty three. Anything I would think that that would
have reversed that trend. Tell us about it.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yes, October seventh was definitely a watershed moment here in
America for anti Semitic incidents, even though they have been
on the rise for the last five years, and we're
seeing attitudes towards antisemitism, you know, changing in very concerning
in negative ways. The amount of incidents after October seventh
is really unprecedented. We've seen almost double the number in
(03:36):
twenty twenty four that we had in twenty twenty two.
The very concerning you know, Jewish people are really being targeted,
and it's really scary for all of us.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
So give us a quick rundown if you will. And again,
I don't want to make this like a baseball box score,
but are we talking about confrontations? Are we talking about
people's grawling, you know, chalk on the sidewalk? How you know?
I hate to put it like this, but how bad
(04:07):
is it? I mean, any form event of anti Semitism
is virulent. Clearly everyone knows that, and we talk about
it a lot here on the show. Sarah Kolb has
bet a guest on this show. Yes, many times, as
as Jeff Robbins. I have seen a lot of anti
semitism in this country metastasized towards the American left. But
(04:29):
this report would suggest that there is a resurgence of
anti Semitism coming from white racial groups which identify as
being on the far right. Tell us about that.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yes, there's a lot of different forms of anti semitism
here in Massachusetts end around the country. We do have
a significant amount of white supremacist extremist activity. That accounts
for eighty one of the incidents that took place, so
you know, almost a quarter of them. For example, you know,
there were flyers saying to boycott Jewish businesses that you know,
(05:05):
were that we traced directly to the Patriot Front and
other white supremacist groups. They're also attacked. You know, I
would say mostly vandalism is you know, one of their
key tactics, although there is some harassment and threats as well.
We've in addition to vandalism, well, we do see a
lot of harassment, particularly on college campuses. In Massachusetts, college
(05:30):
incidents really skyrocketed. They were up eighty six percent from
twenty three to twenty four, with almost one hundred and
fifty one.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Well, I don't know if you saw what was going
on down in new Haven, Connecticut, on the campus at
Yale yesterday, but it was disgusting. There are a group
of people who linked their arms to prevent Jewish students
from traversing the campus and getting to classes and getting
to libraries and all of that. Obviously, these these wackadoodle
right wing groups, which seems to seem to me, I
know that there's something that needs They need to be
(06:00):
watched and monitored. But it's like the twenty same their
twenties losers who form one group and then morph into another.
We got to watch those. But what's going on in
college campuses? When I saw that yesterday at Yale there
was a student who was not being permitted by other
students and he didn't he didn't initiate any confrontation, but
(06:24):
it was appalling, particularly at Yale University, you know, the
second most prestigious IVY League college in the IVY League,
the first, of course being Harvard, which has their own
sets of issues. This is writing stuff and you don't
have to be Jewish and I am not Jewish. I
happen to be Roman Catholic. You don't have to be
(06:45):
Jewish to be concerned about it, because we learned from
the Holocaust. Starts with one group, then another group, and
then another group, and then eventually it's your group. So yeah,
this is this is a warning that we need to
talk about and I'll give you a final word on it.
If this. If you want to mention how people can
show some support to the ADL, that's fine as well,
(07:08):
go right ahead.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yeah, absolutely, I mean what we saw at Yale and
you know a number of college campuses that's not legitimate
criticism of Israel, which we don't count as anti semitism, right,
that is harassment targeted at Jewish students, preventing them from
moving around campus. You know, it's very very clear. You know,
you know it when you see it. I just want
to encourage people that if they experience an incident of antisemitism,
(07:31):
that they report it to ADL. The numbers drive policy, right,
that's how we make decisions and legislative change, and so
we want to be of service to the community and
help protect Jewish and all and all members of the community.
So just please don't hesitate to reach out if you experience.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It, and if they would like to get in touch
with the New England chapter of the Anti Defamation League.
What's the easiest website that you'd like to give.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
It's eighty L dot org slash report Incident and it's
very easy. You just really google ADL incident.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Well, you know, keep up the good work and keep
up the fight. I think it's a fight that sadly
is going to continue. I wish that we could wave
a magic wand and make it go away. But there's
a lot of hatred and a lot of ignorance on
both ends of the extreme flanks of our political spectrum,
and it's not healthy for anyone. It's certainly not healthy
(08:30):
for those that purvey this stuff. I mean, I just
can't imagine how people can put their heart on their
pillow at night and saying, oh, I did something really good, jineers,
I scrawled a swatstick on the side of a building
or on a sidewalk. I mean, if that's what you'll
life is all about, it's a pretty empty life. Samantha.
Thank you very much for your time tonight, and keep
up the good work. And please say hi to everyone
(08:53):
if you talk to Jeff Robbins. Yeah, we'll do.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Thank you so much for raising raising awareness about this
very welcome.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
When we come back, we're going to talk about a
really great nonprofit. It's a simple idea, but it is
a it's an idea that really does help people. Simple, simplistic,
I guess, or it's simplicity, but it's very effective. It's
called One Warm Coat, a national nonprofit dedicated to providing
(09:23):
free coach to children and adults in need. We'll be
talking with the president and CEO of One Warm Coat
right after this break on Nightside, and I would once
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(09:44):
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winning podcasts, just open up the free iHeart Radio app.
(10:06):
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(11:12):
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it back on Nightside.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Right after this, you're on Night Side with Dan Ray
on WBZ, Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
All right, welcome back everyone. There's a lot of charities
that we talk about here on Nightside, and a lot
of them they're all very valuable ideas, but every once
in a while you come across one that really does
strike you as a brilliant idea. And with us is
Beth Amadillo. She's the president and CEO of One Warm Coade. Beth,
(11:54):
welcome to Nightside. How are you tonight.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
I'm doing great. Thanks so much for having me Dan.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, I think we've profiled this charity before. I'm not
sure if it was with you or not. But tell
us about One Warm Coat. I mean, the name itself,
the three words One Warm Coat describes exactly what this
wonderful organization is all about. Go right ahead.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
So, thirty three years ago, one woman who had one
coat she wanted to donate started an annual coat drive
in San Francisco, and it's grown from that one drive
to now every year we will have thousands of coat
drives across the country and we're able to collect and
(12:40):
distribute more than half a million coats every year. And
at the same time that it's providing warmth to children
and adults who really need it, it's also keeping a
lot of gently worn outerwear from being thrown away.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Very important. You know, that's a double benefit. So describe
to us you're not looking necessarily for, you know, Brooks Brothers,
Tweed coats and tuxedos, you know, and that have to
be in premo condition. You don't want things that are
raggedy or give us what the standard is. Some people
(13:19):
can go through their closets and say, yeah, I haven't
won that coat in ten years, which exactly what is
the quality that a lot of times, matter of fact,
some of the stuff you haven't won in ten years
is in better shape than the stuff that you wear
every day.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Frankly, exactly, we're not super choosy, except that we want
the items to be clean and to have no holes
or tears or stains. So I always say, you know,
if you wouldn't put it on your kids to send
them to school, don't donate it. There's other programs for that.
(13:54):
There's textile recycling programs where you can donate textiles that
just really aren't enough shape to be worn by someone else.
But the cool thing is that we really we need everything.
We need everything from like your light windbreakers and rain
jackets for this time of year, to really thick, heavy coats.
(14:14):
And I know you're in Boston where it gets very cold,
so really anything in all ages, so from infants to
four X and men's coats, women's coats and everything in between.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
So it must be you must have a website. I
assume where people were in Boston. You have collection sites
design understand that all over the country. Explain to us
how what do you do with it? Do you bring
the collect these some of the boxes you see or
do you have to bring them to a location and
actually hand them to a person and you've got to
figure out where those locations are.
Speaker 5 (14:50):
Yes, so we always say those kind of three ways
that people can engage with us. The easiest way is,
like you mentioned, to clean out your closets, clean out
out your spouse's closets, your kids closets. I have two
teenage boys who outgrow their coats every single year and
set us aside. You can go to our website, which
(15:11):
is just one warmcoat dot org and search by zip
code or by city or state to find places near
you where you can drop them off. This time of year,
there aren't as many, but we do have fifteen hundred
local nonprofit partners across the country who are accepting coats
year round, and we do have several of those in
(15:33):
the Boston metropolitan area. And then as the season gets colder,
as we get towards fall and back to school time,
and then on into the holiday season, more and more
coat drives will be taking place. And that's when it
gets really fun too, because we have a lot of
national retail partners like Land's End and j Crewe and
(15:56):
some upscale ones like Todd Snyder and McCaw where if
you take a coat to donate, you'll actually get a
discount on a new coat, sometimes as much as one
hundred dollars off, So that's kind of yes, So it's
really great. So that's the easiest way to participate. The
(16:16):
second way that is for people who hear this and
think that sounds amazing and I have so many coats,
and I bet my friends and neighbors or colleagues or
people let my church have a bunch of coats too.
Is we have thousands of volunteers across the country who
organize coat drives for us. And those can be again
(16:37):
like with your student school, with your neighborhood, at your
place of business, and you can go on to our
website and there's a button that says organize a coat drive,
and you sign up and we just provide you all
the resources you need, even press releases so that you
can let your local community know social media posts, even
(16:58):
your own website so that you can promote it and
share that website through email. So we provide all these
resources for free just to try to get people involved
in giving back in their local community and to make
sure that we keep people warm, but before the temperatures drop.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
That sounds great. So the easiest thing just one warm
Coode dot org and use your address or your town
or use zip code. It will direct you to places
locations where you can drop off. And if you really
want to get involved, you can. You can jump jump
into the deep end of the pool and organize a
drive yourself and look it just it just makes so
(17:39):
much sense. Thanks so much for joining us. Thank How
long have you been doing this, Beth, You've been doing
this a while.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
I've been doing this seven years, and I really love it.
I love seeing how how happy the people are who
receive the codes, but I also love seeing how excited
the people are who help donate the and just feeling
of making a very tangible impact.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Well, it's great all fifty states. We're much more than
a Boston radio station. We're heard throughout most of the
eastern half of the US and once the sun goes down,
and so we have a lot of listeners in different states.
You have three eight and three coke drives in communities
across all fifty states. So as you can see, folks,
(18:26):
you're talking about probably anywhere on an average sixty seventy
eighty coat drives, no matter what state you'll live in.
Obviously more yeah, you know, I few were maybe in
Rhode Island, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:38):
And you know what's surprising is we actually have coat
dards even in Florida for rain gear and things like that,
so absolute any in the country.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I mean, there's probably a few umbrellas that get contributed
as well down there. Beth, thank you very much for
your time tonight. Great organization, simple, straight to the point
everybody can understand it. Thanks so much for joining yes tonight,
Thanks for what you do.
Speaker 5 (19:02):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
You're welcome. Got a couple of books that we're going
to introduce you to. The next one is about living
a connected life with yourself and with others. We'll talk
with a PhD named Seth cop called Copuld. He's written
a book, and then later on we're going to talk
about please unsubscribe. Thanks, how to take back our time,
(19:26):
attention and purpose and a world designed to bury us
in BS. We will explain it all coming up on
the other side of the news right here on night Side.
It is a Thursday night, going to be a nice
day tomorrow, little rain on Saturday, and we're going to
have a very nice day on Sunday. We'll be right back.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
It's Nightside's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
With us is Seth Copald. He's a PhD AS certified
Internal Family System practitioner and author. He has a new
book called Self Led Living a Connected Life with yourself
and with Others. Seth, I'd love to know what this
one's all about, because I think I know, but I don't.
Dare say, go right ahead and tell us. Congratulations on
(20:14):
the book and tell us tell us what the theory,
what the premise of the book is.
Speaker 6 (20:19):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me. First of all, welcome.
So yeah, So this book is based on internal family systems,
which believes we all have various parts of us that
have different perspectives and take us over. We have protection
like defensiveness, anxiety, worry. We also have other parts in
us that hold, you know, beliefs, about ourselves that are
(20:42):
kind of locked away, that hold beliefs like I'm not
good enough or too much or too little. And we
also we believe we have like a centered core self
which is not something that could be damaged. And the
way the model works is the self I work with
people to help their's so be with all of these parts,
(21:03):
kind of like the which Richard Swartz, who founded the model,
came up with the idea of a orchestra in the self.
It's like the conductor where we work with each musician
or each part within us to kind of play in harmony.
So if you worry a lot, or you're anxious, you're
not talking.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You're not talking about you know, if the physical, you're
not talking about your shoulder and your knee and your ankle.
Everybody understands that either in order to run, you have
to you know, push off, and you know that you
have to your your joints have to work together. You
can't you can't get too far exercising or whatever if
(21:41):
you're not willing to work. But you're talking about internal
items in internal aspects, right.
Speaker 6 (21:52):
I would think of it like various personalities within you.
And you know, some people are concerned what used to
be called multiple personalities or just so disorder. It's not
that that's a that's a very extreme version, but we
find that it's natural for people to have many perspectives, like,
you know, I want to have dessert when you if
I say, hey, do you want to have dessert? How
(22:12):
many different voices do you have in your head? When
says I have one?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
It says, it says, it says absolutely yes, what time
and where?
Speaker 6 (22:20):
Right? Well, a lot of people then would have a
follow up part that I do. I'm gonna feel bad, right,
I'm gonna then you eat the cake, and then you
have a part that bashes you.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
You know. Sometimes I don't have those parts. But yeah,
I understand the point you're making, But thank god I
don't have those parts. Yeah, that's a guilt thing. Okay,
I mean that's a guilt. I loved eating that that
dunk and don't but I really probably shouldn't. Sometimes that happens,
you know, but most for me, most for me, it doesn't.
(22:52):
What about the what about the different emotions? Okay? Are
you talking about emotions? For example, you get angry you're
driving your car and then someone cuts you off and
you have a surge of anger, and then your more
rational self says, you know, what are you doing this for?
I mean, you're gonna, you know, follow the guy and
cut him off. I mean, is that kind of what
(23:13):
you're talking about? The little voices in your head that
you know exactly? You know, when when I was in
Catholic school, this little boy, we were told that we
had a guardian angel. There was a good angel and
a bad angel on your shoulders, and one angel was whispered,
go ahead, eat that jelly, don't it no problem, and
the bad angel was in all if you do that?
Is it kind of similar to or is I assume
(23:35):
it's a little more sophisticated than.
Speaker 6 (23:37):
That, But it's basically that like we have oftentimes, we
have protect our parts that protect us right, and when
somebody cuts us off, you might have an initial feeling
like this person has no respect for me, or this
person has no or created fear in my system. But
then another part comes in that doesn't want us to
feel those feelings, and it comes in with rage or
(23:58):
comes in with anger, and you could, like you said,
you can even watch yourself being angry, thinking, man, I
can't believe I'm actually saying this, I make the joke sometimes,
like I have a part that say don't say it,
don't say it, and blam, I say it and I'm like, oh.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Why did I say it?
Speaker 6 (24:13):
You know, and we can't take those those messages back.
But the thing is is that, But there's.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Also and again I'm you know, everybody knows the whole
thing of of a fight or flight. You know, you're
walking down the street and you see someone who is
acting a little strange, okay, and most of us are empathetic,
but if the person is really acting out. I'm talking
about that person who's screaming and yelling and howling at
(24:41):
the moon. We probably most of us, even if we're nice,
are not life going and say hey, Parl, what's going on?
How's your day going? I mean, you know, that's just
a sense of self preservation. I guess. Is that also
part of what you're talking about?
Speaker 6 (24:56):
Well, you know, when if we reacted firmly set boundaries,
was very clear, collected and cool headed, you might say
ourself also has courage confidence like that could be a
natural state. But if you just went off the wall
and hurt the person, or if you like, you know,
(25:16):
like cowered in the corner that you might say, those
are parts of you like younger parts might cower. So
there is You're right, there is a natural reaction that's
in our brain that would cause a fight or flight.
But oftentimes there's various parts of us that get involved
in how we end up responding. And basically my book
(25:37):
is about, like you notice, we often could be hurtful
to our partners. So my book talks about how do
you do this at work, at home with your kids,
you know, in spirituality even like who's praying right and
who's begging for something inside of you? But the idea
is if we could be with these parts and listen
(25:59):
to them, the more centered we are, we tend to
have better relationships because we don't say things and hurt
people and are not We're not as selfish, we're not
as controlling, we're not as like overly helping.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah, I think at different times during the day, people
react to different things differently, And I suspect if people
were honest with themselves, uh, and they looked in the
mirror that say, well, I was nice at this point
during the day, but I was not nice at this
point during the day. I know my own idiosyncrasies that
(26:43):
I sometimes get frustrated when I see people who just
are what I call oblivious and I'm just not even
aware of the world around them, and they could care
less and uh, and they're impacting other people's day. You know,
you're you're in a in aupermarket and you're going trying
to get you know, you know, through the It's not
(27:04):
like the highlight of your day. So you've got to
go down this aisle, this aisle, pick up this, pick
up that. And there's someone who has the aisle blocked
because instead of having their carriage out of the way,
it's sort of like in an angle, so no one
can go either way. And they're standing there looking at
key and p's and trying to figure out which one
they want to buy, and you know, you want to scream,
(27:24):
you know, but you can't do that. And so my
solution to that is when I walk by that person
in a very soft voice, I simply get it out
of my system and I use one of my favorite words, oblivious,
and I say it so that they don't hear it,
(27:45):
but it I know it penetrates their mind, you know,
and that calms me down. Now I don't know if
that's a good thing to do or a bad thing
to do. But you're the psychiatrist, I'm not go ahead,
Well I'm.
Speaker 6 (27:58):
Not a psychiatrist. But if you were one of my
clients and we were like coaching you with this model,
I don't do it. Yes, like I got interested with therapist.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
But.
Speaker 6 (28:09):
Get to know I can help you. Get to know
this part of you who says that, and it will
probably say something like basically it's like almost like a
meditative thing where I have you okay, the part of
you that says oblivious, Can we talk to it? Let
it tell you how is it trying to help you?
And he might say I'm trying to get a message
across without comsanes scene. Yes, you know, like I'm helping you,
(28:33):
where other people they they kind of say something that
does create a scene, right Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
No, No, I never do that because normal normally I
feel sorry for the person. But at the same time,
it's like you've cost me thirty seconds here, I haven't
so did you interrupted? You You finally recognized that something
that you're tying someone else up, and you pulled your
wagon out of the way, and I'm gonna go by
and I'll say thank you, and then I'll just mutter
under my breath, but I want them to come out subconsciously.
(29:00):
You're oblivious, right, but I guess then I walk away.
It's not like I said anything that was nasty, like
you know, you're an idiot, all.
Speaker 6 (29:09):
Right, right? Right? No, The's a lot of people do, right,
And oftentimes if somebody did come to me and say,
I don't know why, but I'll yell at somebody in
the grocery store, we'll get to know this part and
oftentimes those protectors will say who are you protecting? And
oftentimes it'll be a much younger part inside that feels
like I'm not good enough or nobody cares about me,
(29:33):
for instance. Right, So if somebody leaves the card in
front of you and it triggers just no one cares
about me, so the angry part has to come in
and take over, and before you say anything. What's really
important is to know is these parts are kind of
like stuck in time, so that when we react, it's
almost like we're reacting to something else in the past.
That's why you most see people over reacting like this
(29:56):
doesn't make sense that you would act this way in
this situation.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
So so let's let's mention the book. Is the book just
out or is it a been out for a while.
Speaker 6 (30:05):
It's been out about a year and a half.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Okay, that's good. Well, we're going to try to get
sell you some more books. It's called self led Living
a Connected Life within yourself and with others. I assume
available on Amazon and bookstores. Uh, and.
Speaker 6 (30:22):
Go ahead, Yeah, easy read. People say it's actually probably
one of the easiest reads for an IFS book, and
it's a really good introduction. And if people want to
sign copy, they could just go to my website Sethcopall
dot com. And I always write a little note and
sign it before I mail.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
That Seth Coppold. So it's s E T H K
O p A l D k O p A l D.
All right, Seth, thank you very much. Interesting conversation. I
could talk with you for hours, and I've probably been
a person as a consequence. So I'm going to try
to get the book and give it a read. Thank
you so much.
Speaker 6 (31:02):
Thank you for having me appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
You're very welcome. We get back. We're going to talk
about another author. Please unsubscribe. This might be something that
all of us will be able to relate to Back
on Nightside with Julio Vincent Gimbuto. Back after this, It's
Night Side with Boston's News Radio. Very good boy. All right,
(31:31):
we are delighted to be joined by Julio Vincent Gambudo. Julio,
welcome to Nightside. How are you?
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Thanks Dan, hello of Boston.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Great to be with you.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
And I just want to make sure it can be Julio.
Is that the correct pronunciation?
Speaker 4 (31:45):
Oh, Julio, it's Julio. Actually, yeah, it's Italian.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Oh Julio. Okay, we got the Italian acts. Julio, Julio,
Vincent Gambuto. Absolutely all right. So your book is please unsubscribe. Thanks,
How to take back our time, attention, and purpose in
a world designed to bury us in And I can't
say the word, and I hope you won't say the
word on the radio. But I think everybody knows what
(32:09):
we're talking about. Uh, what are we talking about in
the book, Julio, We're.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
You know, we're talking about sort of getting really aware
of how these tech systems operate and kind of how
the way of the world is now and you know,
actively stay from it when you need to for as
long as you need to do to kind of get
your mind in order, because this is kind of a
really different ballgame than we used to play.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
So what are we talking about? The unsolicited phone calls
you get at dinner time, in which you know people
want to sell you stuff.
Speaker 6 (32:48):
Yeah, I mean sort of.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
I think phone calls like that are certainly a part
of this.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Really.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
You know, my work zeros in on subscriptions as a
as kind of a model for our new economy and
digital capitalism and how that's different than the capitalism that
you and I grew up with. And uh and and
and understanding what it means to really subscribe and be.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Right, we're losing you here, Julia, we're losing you here.
For a second. Are you Are you in a car?
Are you moving around? Yeah? Pick rob, Rob will pick up,
pick them up, and we'll get this cleaned up. Uh.
My guest is Julio Vincent Gambudo, an author and a
(33:37):
movie maker. Uh. And he has a new book called
Please Unsubscribe. Thanks. It then has a longer subtitle, which
of course we can get to. And I want to
make sure that we under did we lose them there?
We lost them totally. Oh okay, great, Okay, it's The
Wonders of Electronics here on radio. Sorry, so let me
just uh, he's this This book apparently has been well received,
(34:00):
named the Nonfiction Pick of the Month by Barnes and
Noble and last summer. Okay, Julia, you're back. I don't know.
Did you go through a tunnel or something.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
I think maybe my phone knows what I'm talking about
and it just just decided to draw.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Okay, as long as you if you're in a hopefully
a location where you're near a window, that's the best thing.
If you're on a cell phone. Okay. So what I'm
trying to say is what are we talking about. I've
been with you two minutes here. I want to see
what we're talking about. How to take back our time, attention,
and purpose in the world designed to bury us in,
you know, bad stuff. I thought when I read the
title that we were talking about the junk mail you
(34:37):
get every day that you have to throw away, the
telephone calls. I get someone calling me last night. They
want to I don't know, they want to sell me
something about a car. I just no matter what it is,
the car. I've never owned a car on my life.
Please take me off your list. Someone will call up
and tell you that life insurance. Oh I kind of
get life insurance. Why is that because I'm suicidal? Hang up?
(35:00):
I mean, you know, just be crazy with them. And
that's because other than that they keep calling back. They do.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
And you know, we live in an economy now where
your name and your phone number and your email address
are everywhere, even when you think they're not, they are.
And you know, kind of government efforts to curb that
have really, really really not worked. And so you know,
the book is really about kind of taking back our
(35:28):
power against large, large corporations and really really big marketers
and kind of carving a space out for ourselves again.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Okay, so give me a couple of concrete recommendations, A
couple of concrete what I do sometimes, and you know
I have a lot of I could I could write
a book like this. I think what I will do.
Someone will call me up and they'll say whatever they're
trying to sell me, and say, oh, thank you for calling.
I have to go get a pen and paper. I
(35:59):
need to get all the information and I'll give you
and I want to get my credit card. Can you
hold on for a minute, and of course I excite
them and they say absolutely, And you know what I do.
I put the phone down and I walk away, and
about thirty minutes later, thirty minutes later at least, I
call it. I pick it back up, and I'll say
(36:20):
are you still there? And they're never there?
Speaker 4 (36:24):
No, no, they yeah, they don't like.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Give me, give me a couple of a couple of things. Now,
give me a couple of things that that we can do,
that we can do together. Would they they call you
up and they'll say you've won a prize or they no, no,
I know they want to ask your questions a poll,
and I say, I'm delighted. I'm a professional poster. Where
do I send my bill for my services? And they
(36:47):
had no idea what I'm talking about. And my wife
is looking at me like I'm crazy. And they'll say, well, no,
we don't pay people. I said, you don't pay people.
I'm a poster. You've called me. I'm ready to give
you my answers and they hang up on me.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
Well, you know that's a that's a perfect way to
sort of fight back in the phone call, right, Yeah, I.
Speaker 6 (37:08):
Think you know.
Speaker 4 (37:09):
Concrete wise, it's important. Look, I do things like I
go out to lunch without my phone. I will go
to a meeting and make sure that you know, I
actually know where I'm going, and I don't use GPS.
I don't do this every day. I don't do it
all the time, but I do think it's important to
kind of challenge yourself in these small ways to stop
(37:33):
relying on it all so much. It's there to help us,
It's been sold to help us, but what it winds
up doing is sort of putting our day to day
behavior on autopilot. And you know, a society that is
on an autopilot can sort of, you know, go to
very bad places. So I think it's important to, even
(37:54):
just as an individual, challenge yourself to do little things
like that. Yeah, you know, I write a lot about
email subscriptions and the subscriptions you know that are buried
within your checking account. You know, it's like eighty percent
of Americans can overestimate how much they spend on subscriptions,
(38:14):
and sometimes by about two hundred or three hundred dollars
a month.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
So we're not here, Julie. When you say subscriptions, I
think magazine subscriptions. What are you talking about.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
I'm talking about everything from your Netflix subscription to those
magazine subscriptions, to anything where you've you've clicked online and
you've agreed to pay monthly. Horrible, horrible, right, So most
I know.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
That your book got some great reviews, and I really
hope people will get a copy of it and read it,
because we're all being sucked into this vortex.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
You're trying to keep us out of the vortex, man,
and I appreciate that your book has received great reviews.
It is please unsubscribe. Thanks. How to take back our time, attention,
and purpose in a world designed to bury us? And
the other thing, too, is if you get any emails
and you don't recognize the person, never ever ever click
(39:20):
on him. Delete, delete, delete, and if possible, block the number.
Simple as that. Julio, thank you so much. I wish
I had more time, and maybe we'll have you back
in the next few weeks and we'll focus a little bit.
I'll focus the interview better. I wasn't quite sure where
you wanted to take us. We can do this again.
Speaker 4 (39:37):
Yeah, sounds good. It was a pleasure to be here.
Thanks so much.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Right back at you, Julio. Vincent Cambudo. Please unsubscribe. Thanks available.
When we come back, we're going to talk about up
in New Hampshire. New Hampshire, like Massachusetts, does mandate motor
vehicle inspections. Up in New Hampshire, there's a move to
get rid of the motor vehicle inspections and I think
it presents of very interesting argument. Back on Nightside with
(40:03):
the Deputy Speaker of the House of the New Hampshire
State House of Representatives, Representative Stephen Smith, right after the
break here on Nightside, the news break
It's nice eyes.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Unknown, Boston's news radio. Kyle Bray great radio name short, sweet, sweet,
two monosyllab syllables like Dan Ray, Kyle Bray, really good, Thanks, Kyle,
appreciated a whole lot. Good evening. Everyone in welcome and
no excuse me. This is where's the week one? It's
(00:23):
a Thursday night edition of Nightside. I was just talking
with Rob Brooks, our producer, and how disappointing that loss
was today. The Red Sox ace getting dusted up a
little bit in the first two winnings by a team
from Seattle that does not really I think threaten too
many pitchers, but they got to him early today and
they hung on. So hey, there's still one game above
(00:45):
five hundred, that's for sure. My name is Dan Ray.
I'm the host of Nightside, and as we do every year,
I would like to just acknowledge this today as Armenian
Remembrance Day. The White House today released a statement that
on this day of remembrance, we again joined the great
Armenian community in America and around the world in mourning
the many lives that were lost every year. On April
(01:06):
twenty fourth, we reflect on the strong and enduring ties
between the Armeric between the American and Armenians people, Armenian peoples.
We're proud of the American Committee for Armenia and Syrian Relief,
a groundbreaking effort established in nineteen fifteen that provided crucial
humanitarian support to Armenian refugees, and grateful to the thousands
of Americans who contributed a volunteer to help the Armenians
(01:30):
expel from their homes. And again, there's a lot of
good that goes on in the world, but obviously there's
a lot of bad that goes on in the world.
And so we remember Armenian Remembrance Day today, twenty twenty five.
We have a lot of listeners and a lot of
folks in the Greater Boston community of Armenian heritage, and
(01:51):
several of them are good friends of mine. So that
acknowledgment was for everyone in the Armenian community. We have
four guests scheduled this hour, and one of the guests
is joining us right now, Samantha Joseph. Samantha Joseph the
Anti Defamation League New England's regional director. And so we
(02:13):
moved from the way Armenians were treated to the way
Jewish people are still being treated. Last year, twenty twenty four,
apparently there was a record number of anti Semitic incidents
here in New England. So to switt this up for us,
Samantha Joseph joins us, Samantha, welcome. I'm sorry that we
(02:35):
have to focus on such a negative story, but I
think we have to kind of shine the light on
this sort of behavior which, for some reason just doesn't
seem to want to go away.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You're welcome. Tell us about I guess the anti Semitic
incidents here in New England sad to say, for the
fifth year in a row, all previous annual records. I mean,
this is in the wake of what happened on October seventh,
twenty twenty three. Anything I would think that that would
have reversed that trend. Tell us about it.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yes, October seventh was definitely a watershed moment here in
America for anti Semitic incidents, even though they have been
on the rise for the last five years, and we're
seeing attitudes towards antisemitism, you know, changing in very concerning
in negative ways. The amount of incidents after October seventh
is really unprecedented. We've seen almost double the number in
(03:36):
twenty twenty four that we had in twenty twenty two.
The very concerning you know, Jewish people are really being targeted,
and it's really scary for all of us.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
So give us a quick rundown if you will. And again,
I don't want to make this like a baseball box score,
but are we talking about confrontations? Are we talking about
people's grawling, you know, chalk on the sidewalk? How you know?
I hate to put it like this, but how bad
(04:07):
is it? I mean, any form event of anti Semitism
is virulent. Clearly everyone knows that, and we talk about
it a lot here on the show. Sarah Kolb has
bet a guest on this show. Yes, many times, as
as Jeff Robbins. I have seen a lot of anti
semitism in this country metastasized towards the American left. But
(04:29):
this report would suggest that there is a resurgence of
anti Semitism coming from white racial groups which identify as
being on the far right. Tell us about that.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yes, there's a lot of different forms of anti semitism
here in Massachusetts end around the country. We do have
a significant amount of white supremacist extremist activity. That accounts
for eighty one of the incidents that took place, so
you know, almost a quarter of them. For example, you know,
there were flyers saying to boycott Jewish businesses that you know,
(05:05):
were that we traced directly to the Patriot Front and
other white supremacist groups. They're also attacked. You know, I
would say mostly vandalism is you know, one of their
key tactics, although there is some harassment and threats as well.
We've in addition to vandalism, well, we do see a
lot of harassment, particularly on college campuses. In Massachusetts, college
(05:30):
incidents really skyrocketed. They were up eighty six percent from
twenty three to twenty four, with almost one hundred and
fifty one.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Well, I don't know if you saw what was going
on down in new Haven, Connecticut, on the campus at
Yale yesterday, but it was disgusting. There are a group
of people who linked their arms to prevent Jewish students
from traversing the campus and getting to classes and getting
to libraries and all of that. Obviously, these these wackadoodle
right wing groups, which seems to seem to me, I
know that there's something that needs They need to be
(06:00):
watched and monitored. But it's like the twenty same their
twenties losers who form one group and then morph into another.
We got to watch those. But what's going on in
college campuses? When I saw that yesterday at Yale there
was a student who was not being permitted by other
students and he didn't he didn't initiate any confrontation, but
(06:24):
it was appalling, particularly at Yale University, you know, the
second most prestigious IVY League college in the IVY League,
the first, of course being Harvard, which has their own
sets of issues. This is writing stuff and you don't
have to be Jewish and I am not Jewish. I
happen to be Roman Catholic. You don't have to be
(06:45):
Jewish to be concerned about it, because we learned from
the Holocaust. Starts with one group, then another group, and
then another group, and then eventually it's your group. So yeah,
this is this is a warning that we need to
talk about and I'll give you a final word on it.
If this. If you want to mention how people can
show some support to the ADL, that's fine as well,
(07:08):
go right ahead.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yeah, absolutely, I mean what we saw at Yale and
you know a number of college campuses that's not legitimate
criticism of Israel, which we don't count as anti semitism, right,
that is harassment targeted at Jewish students, preventing them from
moving around campus. You know, it's very very clear. You know,
you know it when you see it. I just want
to encourage people that if they experience an incident of antisemitism,
(07:31):
that they report it to ADL. The numbers drive policy, right,
that's how we make decisions and legislative change, and so
we want to be of service to the community and
help protect Jewish and all and all members of the community.
So just please don't hesitate to reach out if you experience.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It, and if they would like to get in touch
with the New England chapter of the Anti Defamation League.
What's the easiest website that you'd like to give.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
It's eighty L dot org slash report Incident and it's
very easy. You just really google ADL incident.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Well, you know, keep up the good work and keep
up the fight. I think it's a fight that sadly
is going to continue. I wish that we could wave
a magic wand and make it go away. But there's
a lot of hatred and a lot of ignorance on
both ends of the extreme flanks of our political spectrum,
and it's not healthy for anyone. It's certainly not healthy
(08:30):
for those that purvey this stuff. I mean, I just
can't imagine how people can put their heart on their
pillow at night and saying, oh, I did something really good, jineers,
I scrawled a swatstick on the side of a building
or on a sidewalk. I mean, if that's what you'll
life is all about, it's a pretty empty life. Samantha.
Thank you very much for your time tonight, and keep
up the good work. And please say hi to everyone
(08:53):
if you talk to Jeff Robbins. Yeah, we'll do.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Thank you so much for raising raising awareness about this
very welcome.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
When we come back, we're going to talk about a
really great nonprofit. It's a simple idea, but it is
a it's an idea that really does help people. Simple, simplistic,
I guess, or it's simplicity, but it's very effective. It's
called One Warm Coat, a national nonprofit dedicated to providing
(09:23):
free coach to children and adults in need. We'll be
talking with the president and CEO of One Warm Coat
right after this break on Nightside, and I would once
again remind you that if you get a chance, if
you haven't brought the iHeart app onto your devices, just
go on. It's a new and improved app. It also
really gives you access to what we call some of
(09:44):
the webcast. The podcast that iHeart has just won a
whole bunch of what they call Webby Awards. This is
what they call the Oscars of the Internet. iHeartMedia was
officially named the Podcast Company of the Year with a
whopping fourteen wins. Want to hear some of those award
winning podcasts, just open up the free iHeart Radio app.
(10:06):
Dive into our fantastic collection. Part of that collection, of course,
are the nightly Nightside podcast that Rob Brooks posts right
after the program. So if you miss any hour of
Nightside the next day, when I say the next day,
by two three o'clock in the morning, Rob has the
show from the prior night post it. He does a
great job at that very important You can on the
(10:28):
way to work listen to whatever hour you know when
podcast forms. So there's no commercials, well there's some commercials,
but not the commercials you heard during the during the program,
and there's no newscast, so it's about forty five minutes
or so. It get you caught up on Nightside or
anyone of the iHeart podcast. The good thing about pulling
down the iHeart app it's so easy to do number one,
(10:51):
even I was able to do it. But number two,
it keeps put you in contact wherever you are in
the world. Anywhere in the world, Australia, the polar Ice Gap,
as long as there's internet service there, you'll be able
to check us out and you can make WBZ your
first preset and we no more than a figuretip away.
(11:12):
You can be in Antarctica, you can be in the
North Pole with Santa Claus and the elves, and you
can get to us three hundred and sixty five days
a year, twenty four seven. Check it out and do
it back on Nightside.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Right after this, you're on Night Side with Dan Ray
on WBZ, Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
All right, welcome back everyone. There's a lot of charities
that we talk about here on Nightside, and a lot
of them they're all very valuable ideas, but every once
in a while you come across one that really does
strike you as a brilliant idea. And with us is
Beth Amadillo. She's the president and CEO of One Warm Coade. Beth,
(11:54):
welcome to Nightside. How are you tonight.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
I'm doing great. Thanks so much for having me Dan.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, I think we've profiled this charity before. I'm not
sure if it was with you or not. But tell
us about One Warm Coat. I mean, the name itself,
the three words One Warm Coat describes exactly what this
wonderful organization is all about. Go right ahead.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
So, thirty three years ago, one woman who had one
coat she wanted to donate started an annual coat drive
in San Francisco, and it's grown from that one drive
to now every year we will have thousands of coat
drives across the country and we're able to collect and
(12:40):
distribute more than half a million coats every year. And
at the same time that it's providing warmth to children
and adults who really need it, it's also keeping a
lot of gently worn outerwear from being thrown away.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Very important. You know, that's a double benefit. So describe
to us you're not looking necessarily for, you know, Brooks Brothers,
Tweed coats and tuxedos, you know, and that have to
be in premo condition. You don't want things that are
raggedy or give us what the standard is. Some people
(13:19):
can go through their closets and say, yeah, I haven't
won that coat in ten years, which exactly what is
the quality that a lot of times, matter of fact,
some of the stuff you haven't won in ten years
is in better shape than the stuff that you wear
every day.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Frankly, exactly, we're not super choosy, except that we want
the items to be clean and to have no holes
or tears or stains. So I always say, you know,
if you wouldn't put it on your kids to send
them to school, don't donate it. There's other programs for that.
(13:54):
There's textile recycling programs where you can donate textiles that
just really aren't enough shape to be worn by someone else.
But the cool thing is that we really we need everything.
We need everything from like your light windbreakers and rain
jackets for this time of year, to really thick, heavy coats.
(14:14):
And I know you're in Boston where it gets very cold,
so really anything in all ages, so from infants to
four X and men's coats, women's coats and everything in between.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
So it must be you must have a website. I
assume where people were in Boston. You have collection sites
design understand that all over the country. Explain to us
how what do you do with it? Do you bring
the collect these some of the boxes you see or
do you have to bring them to a location and
actually hand them to a person and you've got to
figure out where those locations are.
Speaker 5 (14:50):
Yes, so we always say those kind of three ways
that people can engage with us. The easiest way is,
like you mentioned, to clean out your closets, clean out
out your spouse's closets, your kids closets. I have two
teenage boys who outgrow their coats every single year and
set us aside. You can go to our website, which
(15:11):
is just one warmcoat dot org and search by zip
code or by city or state to find places near
you where you can drop them off. This time of year,
there aren't as many, but we do have fifteen hundred
local nonprofit partners across the country who are accepting coats
year round, and we do have several of those in
(15:33):
the Boston metropolitan area. And then as the season gets colder,
as we get towards fall and back to school time,
and then on into the holiday season, more and more
coat drives will be taking place. And that's when it
gets really fun too, because we have a lot of
national retail partners like Land's End and j Crewe and
(15:56):
some upscale ones like Todd Snyder and McCaw where if
you take a coat to donate, you'll actually get a
discount on a new coat, sometimes as much as one
hundred dollars off, So that's kind of yes, So it's
really great. So that's the easiest way to participate. The
(16:16):
second way that is for people who hear this and
think that sounds amazing and I have so many coats,
and I bet my friends and neighbors or colleagues or
people let my church have a bunch of coats too.
Is we have thousands of volunteers across the country who
organize coat drives for us. And those can be again
(16:37):
like with your student school, with your neighborhood, at your
place of business, and you can go on to our
website and there's a button that says organize a coat drive,
and you sign up and we just provide you all
the resources you need, even press releases so that you
can let your local community know social media posts, even
(16:58):
your own website so that you can promote it and
share that website through email. So we provide all these
resources for free just to try to get people involved
in giving back in their local community and to make
sure that we keep people warm, but before the temperatures drop.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
That sounds great. So the easiest thing just one warm
Coode dot org and use your address or your town
or use zip code. It will direct you to places
locations where you can drop off. And if you really
want to get involved, you can. You can jump jump
into the deep end of the pool and organize a
drive yourself and look it just it just makes so
(17:39):
much sense. Thanks so much for joining us. Thank How
long have you been doing this, Beth, You've been doing
this a while.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
I've been doing this seven years, and I really love it.
I love seeing how how happy the people are who
receive the codes, but I also love seeing how excited
the people are who help donate the and just feeling
of making a very tangible impact.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Well, it's great all fifty states. We're much more than
a Boston radio station. We're heard throughout most of the
eastern half of the US and once the sun goes down,
and so we have a lot of listeners in different states.
You have three eight and three coke drives in communities
across all fifty states. So as you can see, folks,
(18:26):
you're talking about probably anywhere on an average sixty seventy
eighty coat drives, no matter what state you'll live in.
Obviously more yeah, you know, I few were maybe in
Rhode Island, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:38):
And you know what's surprising is we actually have coat
dards even in Florida for rain gear and things like that,
so absolute any in the country.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I mean, there's probably a few umbrellas that get contributed
as well down there. Beth, thank you very much for
your time tonight. Great organization, simple, straight to the point
everybody can understand it. Thanks so much for joining yes tonight,
Thanks for what you do.
Speaker 5 (19:02):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
You're welcome. Got a couple of books that we're going
to introduce you to. The next one is about living
a connected life with yourself and with others. We'll talk
with a PhD named Seth cop called Copuld. He's written
a book, and then later on we're going to talk
about please unsubscribe. Thanks, how to take back our time,
(19:26):
attention and purpose and a world designed to bury us
in BS. We will explain it all coming up on
the other side of the news right here on night Side.
It is a Thursday night, going to be a nice
day tomorrow, little rain on Saturday, and we're going to
have a very nice day on Sunday. We'll be right back.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
It's Nightside's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
With us is Seth Copald. He's a PhD AS certified
Internal Family System practitioner and author. He has a new
book called Self Led Living a Connected Life with yourself
and with Others. Seth, I'd love to know what this
one's all about, because I think I know, but I don't.
Dare say, go right ahead and tell us. Congratulations on
(20:14):
the book and tell us tell us what the theory,
what the premise of the book is.
Speaker 6 (20:19):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me. First of all, welcome.
So yeah, So this book is based on internal family systems,
which believes we all have various parts of us that
have different perspectives and take us over. We have protection
like defensiveness, anxiety, worry. We also have other parts in
us that hold, you know, beliefs, about ourselves that are
(20:42):
kind of locked away, that hold beliefs like I'm not
good enough or too much or too little. And we
also we believe we have like a centered core self
which is not something that could be damaged. And the
way the model works is the self I work with
people to help their's so be with all of these parts,
(21:03):
kind of like the which Richard Swartz, who founded the model,
came up with the idea of a orchestra in the self.
It's like the conductor where we work with each musician
or each part within us to kind of play in harmony.
So if you worry a lot, or you're anxious, you're
not talking.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You're not talking about you know, if the physical, you're
not talking about your shoulder and your knee and your ankle.
Everybody understands that either in order to run, you have
to you know, push off, and you know that you
have to your your joints have to work together. You
can't you can't get too far exercising or whatever if
(21:41):
you're not willing to work. But you're talking about internal
items in internal aspects, right.
Speaker 6 (21:52):
I would think of it like various personalities within you.
And you know, some people are concerned what used to
be called multiple personalities or just so disorder. It's not
that that's a that's a very extreme version, but we
find that it's natural for people to have many perspectives, like,
you know, I want to have dessert when you if
I say, hey, do you want to have dessert? How
(22:12):
many different voices do you have in your head? When
says I have one?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
It says, it says, it says absolutely yes, what time
and where?
Speaker 6 (22:20):
Right? Well, a lot of people then would have a
follow up part that I do. I'm gonna feel bad, right,
I'm gonna then you eat the cake, and then you
have a part that bashes you.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
You know. Sometimes I don't have those parts. But yeah,
I understand the point you're making, But thank god I
don't have those parts. Yeah, that's a guilt thing. Okay,
I mean that's a guilt. I loved eating that that
dunk and don't but I really probably shouldn't. Sometimes that happens,
you know, but most for me, most for me, it doesn't.
(22:52):
What about the what about the different emotions? Okay? Are
you talking about emotions? For example, you get angry you're
driving your car and then someone cuts you off and
you have a surge of anger, and then your more
rational self says, you know, what are you doing this for?
I mean, you're gonna, you know, follow the guy and
cut him off. I mean, is that kind of what
(23:13):
you're talking about? The little voices in your head that
you know exactly? You know, when when I was in
Catholic school, this little boy, we were told that we
had a guardian angel. There was a good angel and
a bad angel on your shoulders, and one angel was whispered,
go ahead, eat that jelly, don't it no problem, and
the bad angel was in all if you do that?
Is it kind of similar to or is I assume
(23:35):
it's a little more sophisticated than.
Speaker 6 (23:37):
That, But it's basically that like we have oftentimes, we
have protect our parts that protect us right, and when
somebody cuts us off, you might have an initial feeling
like this person has no respect for me, or this
person has no or created fear in my system. But
then another part comes in that doesn't want us to
feel those feelings, and it comes in with rage or
(23:58):
comes in with anger, and you could, like you said,
you can even watch yourself being angry, thinking, man, I
can't believe I'm actually saying this, I make the joke sometimes,
like I have a part that say don't say it,
don't say it, and blam, I say it and I'm like, oh.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Why did I say it?
Speaker 6 (24:13):
You know, and we can't take those those messages back.
But the thing is is that, But there's.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Also and again I'm you know, everybody knows the whole
thing of of a fight or flight. You know, you're
walking down the street and you see someone who is
acting a little strange, okay, and most of us are empathetic,
but if the person is really acting out. I'm talking
about that person who's screaming and yelling and howling at
(24:41):
the moon. We probably most of us, even if we're nice,
are not life going and say hey, Parl, what's going on?
How's your day going? I mean, you know, that's just
a sense of self preservation. I guess. Is that also
part of what you're talking about?
Speaker 6 (24:56):
Well, you know, when if we reacted firmly set boundaries,
was very clear, collected and cool headed, you might say
ourself also has courage confidence like that could be a
natural state. But if you just went off the wall
and hurt the person, or if you like, you know,
(25:16):
like cowered in the corner that you might say, those
are parts of you like younger parts might cower. So
there is You're right, there is a natural reaction that's
in our brain that would cause a fight or flight.
But oftentimes there's various parts of us that get involved
in how we end up responding. And basically my book
(25:37):
is about, like you notice, we often could be hurtful
to our partners. So my book talks about how do
you do this at work, at home with your kids,
you know, in spirituality even like who's praying right and
who's begging for something inside of you? But the idea
is if we could be with these parts and listen
(25:59):
to them, the more centered we are, we tend to
have better relationships because we don't say things and hurt
people and are not We're not as selfish, we're not
as controlling, we're not as like overly helping.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah, I think at different times during the day, people
react to different things differently, And I suspect if people
were honest with themselves, uh, and they looked in the
mirror that say, well, I was nice at this point
during the day, but I was not nice at this
point during the day. I know my own idiosyncrasies that
(26:43):
I sometimes get frustrated when I see people who just
are what I call oblivious and I'm just not even
aware of the world around them, and they could care
less and uh, and they're impacting other people's day. You know,
you're you're in a in aupermarket and you're going trying
to get you know, you know, through the It's not
(27:04):
like the highlight of your day. So you've got to
go down this aisle, this aisle, pick up this, pick
up that. And there's someone who has the aisle blocked
because instead of having their carriage out of the way,
it's sort of like in an angle, so no one
can go either way. And they're standing there looking at
key and p's and trying to figure out which one
they want to buy, and you know, you want to scream,
(27:24):
you know, but you can't do that. And so my
solution to that is when I walk by that person
in a very soft voice, I simply get it out
of my system and I use one of my favorite words, oblivious,
and I say it so that they don't hear it,
(27:45):
but it I know it penetrates their mind, you know,
and that calms me down. Now I don't know if
that's a good thing to do or a bad thing
to do. But you're the psychiatrist, I'm not go ahead,
Well I'm.
Speaker 6 (27:58):
Not a psychiatrist. But if you were one of my
clients and we were like coaching you with this model,
I don't do it. Yes, like I got interested with therapist.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
But.
Speaker 6 (28:09):
Get to know I can help you. Get to know
this part of you who says that, and it will
probably say something like basically it's like almost like a
meditative thing where I have you okay, the part of
you that says oblivious, Can we talk to it? Let
it tell you how is it trying to help you?
And he might say I'm trying to get a message
across without comsanes scene. Yes, you know, like I'm helping you,
(28:33):
where other people they they kind of say something that
does create a scene, right Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
No, No, I never do that because normal normally I
feel sorry for the person. But at the same time,
it's like you've cost me thirty seconds here, I haven't
so did you interrupted? You You finally recognized that something
that you're tying someone else up, and you pulled your
wagon out of the way, and I'm gonna go by
and I'll say thank you, and then I'll just mutter
under my breath, but I want them to come out subconsciously.
(29:00):
You're oblivious, right, but I guess then I walk away.
It's not like I said anything that was nasty, like
you know, you're an idiot, all.
Speaker 6 (29:09):
Right, right? Right? No, The's a lot of people do, right,
And oftentimes if somebody did come to me and say,
I don't know why, but I'll yell at somebody in
the grocery store, we'll get to know this part and
oftentimes those protectors will say who are you protecting? And
oftentimes it'll be a much younger part inside that feels
like I'm not good enough or nobody cares about me,
(29:33):
for instance. Right, So if somebody leaves the card in
front of you and it triggers just no one cares
about me, so the angry part has to come in
and take over, and before you say anything. What's really
important is to know is these parts are kind of
like stuck in time, so that when we react, it's
almost like we're reacting to something else in the past.
That's why you most see people over reacting like this
(29:56):
doesn't make sense that you would act this way in
this situation.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
So so let's let's mention the book. Is the book just
out or is it a been out for a while.
Speaker 6 (30:05):
It's been out about a year and a half.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Okay, that's good. Well, we're going to try to get
sell you some more books. It's called self led Living
a Connected Life within yourself and with others. I assume
available on Amazon and bookstores. Uh, and.
Speaker 6 (30:22):
Go ahead, Yeah, easy read. People say it's actually probably
one of the easiest reads for an IFS book, and
it's a really good introduction. And if people want to
sign copy, they could just go to my website Sethcopall
dot com. And I always write a little note and
sign it before I mail.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
That Seth Coppold. So it's s E T H K
O p A l D k O p A l D.
All right, Seth, thank you very much. Interesting conversation. I
could talk with you for hours, and I've probably been
a person as a consequence. So I'm going to try
to get the book and give it a read. Thank
you so much.
Speaker 6 (31:02):
Thank you for having me appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
You're very welcome. We get back. We're going to talk
about another author. Please unsubscribe. This might be something that
all of us will be able to relate to Back
on Nightside with Julio Vincent Gimbuto. Back after this, It's
Night Side with Boston's News Radio. Very good boy. All right,
(31:31):
we are delighted to be joined by Julio Vincent Gambudo. Julio,
welcome to Nightside. How are you?
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Thanks Dan, hello of Boston.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Great to be with you.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
And I just want to make sure it can be Julio.
Is that the correct pronunciation?
Speaker 4 (31:45):
Oh, Julio, it's Julio. Actually, yeah, it's Italian.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Oh Julio. Okay, we got the Italian acts. Julio, Julio,
Vincent Gambuto. Absolutely all right. So your book is please unsubscribe. Thanks,
How to take back our time, attention, and purpose in
a world designed to bury us in And I can't
say the word, and I hope you won't say the
word on the radio. But I think everybody knows what
(32:09):
we're talking about. Uh, what are we talking about in
the book, Julio, We're.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
You know, we're talking about sort of getting really aware
of how these tech systems operate and kind of how
the way of the world is now and you know,
actively stay from it when you need to for as
long as you need to do to kind of get
your mind in order, because this is kind of a
really different ballgame than we used to play.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
So what are we talking about? The unsolicited phone calls
you get at dinner time, in which you know people
want to sell you stuff.
Speaker 6 (32:48):
Yeah, I mean sort of.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
I think phone calls like that are certainly a part
of this.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Really.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
You know, my work zeros in on subscriptions as a
as kind of a model for our new economy and
digital capitalism and how that's different than the capitalism that
you and I grew up with. And uh and and
and understanding what it means to really subscribe and be.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Right, we're losing you here, Julia, we're losing you here.
For a second. Are you Are you in a car?
Are you moving around? Yeah? Pick rob, Rob will pick up,
pick them up, and we'll get this cleaned up. Uh.
My guest is Julio Vincent Gambudo, an author and a
(33:37):
movie maker. Uh. And he has a new book called
Please Unsubscribe. Thanks. It then has a longer subtitle, which
of course we can get to. And I want to
make sure that we under did we lose them there?
We lost them totally. Oh okay, great, Okay, it's The
Wonders of Electronics here on radio. Sorry, so let me
just uh, he's this This book apparently has been well received,
(34:00):
named the Nonfiction Pick of the Month by Barnes and
Noble and last summer. Okay, Julia, you're back. I don't know.
Did you go through a tunnel or something.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
I think maybe my phone knows what I'm talking about
and it just just decided to draw.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Okay, as long as you if you're in a hopefully
a location where you're near a window, that's the best thing.
If you're on a cell phone. Okay. So what I'm
trying to say is what are we talking about. I've
been with you two minutes here. I want to see
what we're talking about. How to take back our time, attention,
and purpose in the world designed to bury us in,
you know, bad stuff. I thought when I read the
title that we were talking about the junk mail you
(34:37):
get every day that you have to throw away, the
telephone calls. I get someone calling me last night. They
want to I don't know, they want to sell me
something about a car. I just no matter what it is,
the car. I've never owned a car on my life.
Please take me off your list. Someone will call up
and tell you that life insurance. Oh I kind of
get life insurance. Why is that because I'm suicidal? Hang up?
(35:00):
I mean, you know, just be crazy with them. And
that's because other than that they keep calling back. They do.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
And you know, we live in an economy now where
your name and your phone number and your email address
are everywhere, even when you think they're not, they are.
And you know, kind of government efforts to curb that
have really, really really not worked. And so you know,
the book is really about kind of taking back our
(35:28):
power against large, large corporations and really really big marketers
and kind of carving a space out for ourselves again.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Okay, so give me a couple of concrete recommendations, A
couple of concrete what I do sometimes, and you know
I have a lot of I could I could write
a book like this. I think what I will do.
Someone will call me up and they'll say whatever they're
trying to sell me, and say, oh, thank you for calling.
I have to go get a pen and paper. I
(35:59):
need to get all the information and I'll give you
and I want to get my credit card. Can you
hold on for a minute, and of course I excite
them and they say absolutely, And you know what I do.
I put the phone down and I walk away, and
about thirty minutes later, thirty minutes later at least, I
call it. I pick it back up, and I'll say
(36:20):
are you still there? And they're never there?
Speaker 4 (36:24):
No, no, they yeah, they don't like.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Give me, give me a couple of a couple of things. Now,
give me a couple of things that that we can do,
that we can do together. Would they they call you
up and they'll say you've won a prize or they no, no,
I know they want to ask your questions a poll,
and I say, I'm delighted. I'm a professional poster. Where
do I send my bill for my services? And they
(36:47):
had no idea what I'm talking about. And my wife
is looking at me like I'm crazy. And they'll say, well, no,
we don't pay people. I said, you don't pay people.
I'm a poster. You've called me. I'm ready to give
you my answers and they hang up on me.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
Well, you know that's a that's a perfect way to
sort of fight back in the phone call, right, Yeah, I.
Speaker 6 (37:08):
Think you know.
Speaker 4 (37:09):
Concrete wise, it's important. Look, I do things like I
go out to lunch without my phone. I will go
to a meeting and make sure that you know, I
actually know where I'm going, and I don't use GPS.
I don't do this every day. I don't do it
all the time, but I do think it's important to
kind of challenge yourself in these small ways to stop
(37:33):
relying on it all so much. It's there to help us,
It's been sold to help us, but what it winds
up doing is sort of putting our day to day
behavior on autopilot. And you know, a society that is
on an autopilot can sort of, you know, go to
very bad places. So I think it's important to, even
(37:54):
just as an individual, challenge yourself to do little things
like that. Yeah, you know, I write a lot about
email subscriptions and the subscriptions you know that are buried
within your checking account. You know, it's like eighty percent
of Americans can overestimate how much they spend on subscriptions,
(38:14):
and sometimes by about two hundred or three hundred dollars
a month.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
So we're not here, Julie. When you say subscriptions, I
think magazine subscriptions. What are you talking about.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
I'm talking about everything from your Netflix subscription to those
magazine subscriptions, to anything where you've you've clicked online and
you've agreed to pay monthly. Horrible, horrible, right, So most
I know.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
That your book got some great reviews, and I really
hope people will get a copy of it and read it,
because we're all being sucked into this vortex.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
You're trying to keep us out of the vortex, man,
and I appreciate that your book has received great reviews.
It is please unsubscribe. Thanks. How to take back our time, attention,
and purpose in a world designed to bury us? And
the other thing, too, is if you get any emails
and you don't recognize the person, never ever ever click
(39:20):
on him. Delete, delete, delete, and if possible, block the number.
Simple as that. Julio, thank you so much. I wish
I had more time, and maybe we'll have you back
in the next few weeks and we'll focus a little bit.
I'll focus the interview better. I wasn't quite sure where
you wanted to take us. We can do this again.
Speaker 4 (39:37):
Yeah, sounds good. It was a pleasure to be here.
Thanks so much.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Right back at you, Julio. Vincent Cambudo. Please unsubscribe. Thanks available.
When we come back, we're going to talk about up
in New Hampshire. New Hampshire, like Massachusetts, does mandate motor
vehicle inspections. Up in New Hampshire, there's a move to
get rid of the motor vehicle inspections and I think
it presents of very interesting argument. Back on Nightside with
(40:03):
the Deputy Speaker of the House of the New Hampshire
State House of Representatives, Representative Stephen Smith, right after the
break here on Nightside, the news break
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