June 23, 2025 • 38 mins
We kicked off the program with four news stories and different guests on the stories we think you need to know about!
What is Iran's next move? World awaits response to U.S. bombing… Bob Dees - Major General (Retired) Expert on US-Israeli Affairs and The National Center for Healthy Veterans joined Dan.
The biggest summer shopping trends, must-have deals, and smart ways families can save this season. Kasey Caminiti, USA TODAY’s Editorial Director of Shopping stopped by.
‘Quiet Cracking’: What's behind this new workplace threat? Heather Lisle – Workplace Expert – Communications/Marketing Professional who oversees Leadership Lab (for leadership training) explained it to Dan.
Can Scary Headlines Make Us Sick? How to minimize the health impact of a negative news cycle… Dr. Judith Orloff, bestselling author of The Genius of Empathy, a leading Psychiatrist in the field of Empathy discussed it with Dan.
Now you can leave feedback as you listen to WBZ NewsRadio on the FREE iHeart Radio app! Just click on the microphone icon in the app, and be sure to set WBZ NewsRadio as your #1 preset!
What is Iran's next move? World awaits response to U.S. bombing… Bob Dees - Major General (Retired) Expert on US-Israeli Affairs and The National Center for Healthy Veterans joined Dan.
The biggest summer shopping trends, must-have deals, and smart ways families can save this season. Kasey Caminiti, USA TODAY’s Editorial Director of Shopping stopped by.
‘Quiet Cracking’: What's behind this new workplace threat? Heather Lisle – Workplace Expert – Communications/Marketing Professional who oversees Leadership Lab (for leadership training) explained it to Dan.
Can Scary Headlines Make Us Sick? How to minimize the health impact of a negative news cycle… Dr. Judith Orloff, bestselling author of The Genius of Empathy, a leading Psychiatrist in the field of Empathy discussed it with Dan.
Now you can leave feedback as you listen to WBZ NewsRadio on the FREE iHeart Radio app! Just click on the microphone icon in the app, and be sure to set WBZ NewsRadio as your #1 preset!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's nice eyes with Dan Ray.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm telling you easy Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Thanks very much, Madison. It has been a very interesting weekend,
that is for sure. My name is Dan Ray. I'm
the host of Nightside. Feeling a little better medically than
I felt last week, but it's still not at one
hundred percent. Rob Brooks hopefully is feeling absolutely at one
hundred percent. He's back in the control room. Rob, I'm
(00:26):
here all week I hope you are as well. Okay,
got the A team here all week long, and you
are also part of the A team if you're a
regular listener here to Nightside, or even better yet a
regular caller. We have a lot to discuss. We very
special guest coming up at nine o'clock tonight, the President
of the International Teamsters, the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, will
(00:48):
join us. Sean O'Brien. He's the general president of that organization.
He played a very significant role in the twenty twenty
four election. We'll discuss that role and how he feels
the Trump administration is doing. And certainly the timing could
not be better for a Trump administration. There's a report
(01:10):
that now Reuters has confirmed that there apparently will be
a ceasefire in the Middle East could take place even
before this show ends tonight. Quite a turnaround from Saturday
evening when all of us were sort of surprised and
shocked that that two week extension only was a two
(01:31):
day extension. And we'll have to see how this all transpires.
Maybe Donald Trump has played his cards right. We will
talk with Sean O'Brien about that, and they give you
a chance to weigh in a little bit later on tonight.
But first we have four really interesting guests, as we
always do in the first hour, and of course during
the first hour there are no phone calls, so you
(01:53):
can sit back, relax, put your feed up, enjoy your beverage.
Hopefully it's a nice iced beverage of some sort, because
it's pretty here in New England. With US is retired
Major General Bob Dees General Welcome. I need to salute you.
How are you, sir?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Good Dan good to be with night side.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I got his high up as back for it, so
I was saluting everybody, everybody who walked by. It didn't matter,
didn't matter. You're also with a great group called the
National Center for Healthy Veterans. I want to talk to
you about them, but before we do that, and I
will save some time for us to talk about that
their great work. But as I said, before we do that,
(02:34):
like to get your sense as to what's going on.
This is a pretty fast moving story. We've gone from
bunker busting bombs we all were hearing about it about
forty eight hours ago at this time, to we may
have some sort of a ceasefire according to President Trump.
(02:54):
What's going on here? A lot of people and the
stock market did well today and oil prices dropped. You
could have won a lot of money on that sometime
betting on Saturday night about midnight.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Correct, that's exactly right.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Boy, You're right. It's been fast moving, Dan, And just
six hours ago, you know, I would have predicted we'd
be talking about battle damage assessment and this and that.
But the reality is, yes, it's been announced there's a
peace deal. Apparently the President Trump called Prime Minister net
and Yahoo and then some of the Vice President was
working with Iran and some of their representatives and so
(03:33):
apparently they've broke her to peace deal and it's supposed to,
as you said, take place about three four hours from now.
So it's pretty amazing. I think it does illustrate the
power of deterrence. You know, we went in strong, precise
accomplished the mission with you know, startling success to be honest,
(03:54):
and everybody else just sort of saluted. As you were
referring to, Iran is sort of acting like a specialist
for right now to salute anything that walks by.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah. Well, it's a little early to know exactly the
extent of the battle damage assessment because the targets were
buried underground. But I would think that the response of
Iran to engage in this ceasefire and also I guess
to make the US aware of when they were going
(04:27):
to fire a few missiles and at what time they
were going to fire a few missiles and no one
was injured in that I think sort of symbolic a
large of fourteen smaller missiles. I think that that response
might be a pretty good indication of how much damage
(04:48):
was done down below or am I misreading is now?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I think you're probably accurate. My assessment was that Iran
wouldn't been but they would break, you know, they would
just fly it into the ground until they had to submit.
But I was certainly wrong about that, and I think
it's You're probably accurate that the true impact of what
we have done over the last forty eight hours has
(05:14):
really caused them to come to the table, and their
response in Qatar was tepid at best. And yeah, I agree,
a lot of people are reading into that, certainly weakness
but conciliation that they are really a defeated power and
they want to get the best deal they can now.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Would you agree? And just my last question is that
Israel's success in decapitating Hesba Llah a few months ago
going after Hamas in the Wig of October seventh, as
well as the departure of the Aside family from Syria,
and the fact that I think the Hoodies have been
(05:58):
put under control, that that Iran was kind of the
last last team standing. All of its proxies were off
the field and they were kind of naked to the
world here.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, well, I totally agree. Iran, I mean, Israel in
military terms, set the conditions well ahead of time, as
they normally do years I had in advance in some cases, uh,
and so that all the Iranian cards that surrogates were
taken off the table. My only caution, Dan would be
(06:31):
Iran has a lot of sleeper cells in the United States,
and even if Iran folds, there may be some sleeper
cells that you know, make their last gasp, or some
people some lone wolf actions. And we're also seeing a
lot of protests college campuses and things that around the
United States. So domestic threat is still you know, a
(06:54):
little alarming, to be honest.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Well, it was funny, I explained to a friend of
mine on Saturday night who was very concerned that perhaps
this was a precursor to sort of an Archduke Ferdinand
type of repeat of history from about a one hundred
and eleven years ago, the start of War One. And
I said, look, this prevented, This makes the world safer
(07:17):
from an outlaw nation possessing nuclear weaponry. This was this
was a conventional strike that I think has taken a
potential nuclear country off the playing field. And I view,
I don't see I would think college campuses would be
(07:38):
up in arms congratulating the US military and President Trump
for what may apparently is going to be accomplished. I
hope it is. Obviously I don't want to you know,
start to you know, celebrate too quickly here, but it
certainly things in the last forty typical. You expect people
to come out with the flags. I see the Iranian flags,
(07:58):
and those are just people who hate this country, and
they would, they would, they would, they would protest against
the Trump administration finding a cure for cancer. That's no
question about that. Okay, Let's talk more importantly for the
moment about the National Center for Healthy Veterans. We've done
a lot on this program about returning veterans and the
(08:21):
issues that they faced, particularly those who were actually in
the line of fire during in warfare with live fire
going on around them. Tell Us, tell us about the group,
the National Center for Healthy Veterans.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah, Dan, I'd say we're a unique national prototype. We're
a nine month residential program. Most programs are much shorter,
but we fight recidivism and we bring at risk veterans,
Veterans that are suicidal, Veterans that perhaps have been in
jail under bridges, veterans that are stuck in their parents'
basement playing video games, veterans that have had three jobs
(08:56):
in the last year that can't adjust. All these veterans
have tremendous potential, and so we help them do a
life free set over that time period. We're at healthy
veterans dot Org if people want to learn more. One
of the things I'd ask all your viewers, we need
to find the people. Most of the people we help
don't want to be found. We need to find people
(09:16):
that are at risk, refer them to us. There's just
a button on the website that does that, and let's
get these people help. We have people from over twelve
different states and so we're a national organization that fills
a unique gap in our service for veterans overall. So yeah,
(09:37):
appreciate the shout out. We have a large what we
call a healing platform. But we have twenty five horses,
three hundred and thirty nine acres, two hundred and seventy
five chickens that give us eighty dozen eggs a week.
So that's a lot of dignified work. And we live
in community to defeed isolation, one of the primary causes
of veterans suicide. We have trauma recovery, life skills program as,
(10:00):
professional counseling, coaching, equine therapy. So it's a really powerful,
unique platform and people are We have one spin off
in Kentucky.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
In fact, well, as a matter of fact, I'm noticing
here that you're an Alta Vista, Virginia at the at
Valor Farm, which is appropriately named. And you know you're
doing you're doing great work here and again the website
couldn't be simpler. Healthy Veterans dot Org. I'm very much
involved with a couple of veterans groups, one of which
(10:30):
is Hope for the Veterans, Hope for the Warriors. I
should say, oh good that a friend of mine got
me involved in many many years ago, and we forget
what these men and women sacrifice when they volunteer to
serve in defense of this nation.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Well, thank you, Dan.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
I'm glad you saw your help veterans every way you can,
and I just ask all your listeners to do the same.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Well, Major General, I appreciate it very much. Hoped that
our optimism is well founded. Irrespective of political parties or
philosophical viewpoints. We want to keep our people safe. Extraordinary
work by the military, the US Air Force on Saturday night,
that is for sure. That's an incredible story. Thank you,
(11:19):
Major General. Appreciate it very much. I hope to have
you back. Let's get an update on this sum How
you doing a few months from now?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Okay, sounds good. Dan, good to be with you.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Take care back at you, Major General retired Robert d'es.
We'll be back on nights. We're going to talk about
the biggest summer shopping trends. Lighting up a little bit
with Casey Kevin Eddie, USA Today's editorial director of Shopping.
By the way, I have a free before you all.
If you'd like, you can pull down the new and
improved iHeart app. You can just go on to whatever
(11:50):
place you go, Google Store or whatever, pull it down,
put it on. Whatever your device is, your desktops, your laptops,
your tablets, your phones, whatever. Make us WBZ Boston your
first preset. You'll only be a fingertip away, fingertip away
from us wherever you may happen to travel in the world.
(12:11):
And at the same time, there's also a button on
there that you could leave us a message if you'd like,
and that message goes directly to mister Rob Brooks in
the control room. You can do it at any hour
of the day, but we particularly love to hear from
you during the show and maybe we'll play it on
the air. We want his phone callers. No question, this
is still a talk show, but you can certainly make
a comment about, for example, that last interview with Major
(12:34):
General retired Bob des that's the sort of thing that
you would love to hear from you. We're coming right
back on Nightside. We're going to talk about summer shopping. Friends.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
It's night Side with Dan Ray on w Boston's News Radio.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Well, summer has arrived in full force here in New England.
There's no question the spring is over. We'll spring never happen, really,
but summer's here. It's packing a punch all across the
United States, about one hundred and ninety people under this
summer heat wave. So June twenty third with US is
Casey Kimminedding, USA Today's exec editorial director of Shopping. That's
(13:11):
a pretty neat job. How are you, Casey's Kim and Eddy.
Nice to meet you.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Hi, nice to meet you. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 5 (13:19):
Yes, it is gig.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yeah, Yeah, that's that's one that I've met a lot
of people, but particularly women. I don't want to be
sexist here, would like and you got all sorts of
tips here on shopping deals and product recommendations. And I'm
sure a lot of my listeners had their pens and
pencils poised. What do you got going on?
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Yeah, for sure. So summer shopping is already picking up
like crazy. People are really shopping early, earlier and earlier.
I feel like for every season, holiday, you know, all
the events. So yeah, summer shopping. People are really excited
(14:03):
about back to school with maybe they I know.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Back to school. My parents ever were shopping from back
to school on June twenty third. I think I would
have run away from home. Go ahead, I'm sorry, go.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Ahead, right, No, I yeah, I agree, But yeah, the
people they know what they want. Definitely a lot of
like big ticket back to school items, so laptops, tablets,
even like earbuds and stuff like that, things that you
need for when you're you know, in high school college,
(14:41):
And a lot of retailers are hosting huge sales already
so you can get a good deal.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I'm hoping that they're not buying tablets and things like
that for kids who are in elementary school, because that's
just a little personal point of personal prerogative that I
think kids should worry about reading, writing, and arithmetic until
at least the fifth or sixth grade. But go ahead,
So we've we've depressed any sixth graders who are listening
(15:13):
to my show at this yes that they alway's going
to get mad at what what are the hot summer
items here? Barbecue, yeah, grills, whatever.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
So basically right now, we have Amazon Prime Day coming
up in July and it's kind of a kickoff this summer.
So it's happening July eighth to the eleventh.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
They're kicking it off on my birthday. Yeah right, Okay,
well that's good.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
We'll make that.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I'm going to turn twenty I'm going to turn twenty
nine years old on July.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Go ahead, looks great.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
And if you if you believe, if you believe that,
I have a bridge in Brooklyn, so you go ahead,
Casey have only teasing.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
No, So we've we've seen a lot of early deals already.
And like I said, definitely, electronics are great, you know,
people are loving them. But the grills, the outdoor summer
products like portable chargers, speakers for your barbecue. Something that's
(16:27):
been popular is a digital meat.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Thermometer okay, okay.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
For your barbecue, and you know, super affordable makes grilling
a lot easier.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, so I growed, I grilled, I grilled some steak,
tips last night. They were great, but at that point
I could have. But I'm doing it all by the look,
you know you kind of Yeah, a little little meet
thermometer probably could come in handy, that is for sure.
Now does this mean? And again, you really blew me
(17:04):
away when you said people doing back to school normally.
I think back to school mid August. There'll be a
second wave of back to school for them. I don't
want any parents who are listening tonight, I think they've
missed out here.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
I mean, I mean, yeah, I remember back to school
shopping was right before school started end of August. You know,
we were at Staples or wherever picking out markers and stuff.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, we do push it. By the way, you made
a comment earlier, and it seems to me that the
Halloween decorations show up sometime around Labor Day, and Christmas
decorations now appear before Halloween. And it just seems to
me that we are always in a rush to get
it done as opposed to enjoy it when it happens.
(17:56):
And I think that's a tough trend. Although again, push
is always going to be, you know, get him in
the tent and get him buy it. What's the single
best superby that you could recommend across the board. What
have you seen right now? Is that is that's almost
investment quality? Great? If you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Yeah, Well, first I will say I agree. I mean
the you know, the sales and deals and shopping, it
starts earlier and earlier. But I will say, there's such
it's such a relief. Like personally, if I get my
holiday shopping done a month ahead of time, I'm like, oh,
(18:39):
I can relax and breathe. They don't have to be stressed.
So there definitely is like there's a benefit to get
in the head.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Now I guess you were going on a Christmas card
list already or no project in a little shoe box
ready to go. They got him done by about August. First,
It's like, okay, ok I really enjoyed. Thank you very much.
We'll have you back. You were fun to talk with.
(19:10):
USA Today's editorial director of Shopping, Casey Kim, and Eddie
the woman with the job.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Everyone goold love to have.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Thank you so much, Casey, have a great night. Take
it easy. Rob. What are we doing here? Did we
did we miss an ABC News special? We don't? Okay,
then that's fine. We have our own newscast coming up,
and on the other side of the newscast, we're talking
about quiet cracking. We're not talking about like taking eggs
(19:37):
and really gently cracking them. No, we're talking about what
is behind this new workplace threat. People are quiet cracking.
We'll be back and we'll be very honest about it.
Coming back on Night.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Side with Dan Ray.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I'm Boston's news radio.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
All Right, everything has a word. Everything, every action or
reaction can be characterized. Here's one I've never heard of before,
quiet cracking. What's behind this new work paid workplace threat. Well, Heather,
while she's a workplace expert, communications marketing professional who oversees
(20:18):
leadership lab that's for leadership training. What the heck is
quiet cracking? I think I know, but I want to
make sure I'm not making an assumption. Welcome to Nightside, Heather.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
Oh, thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.
Quiet cracking, Yes, it's another term. Right, it's another thing
that we've got to figure out. But let me just
kind of unpack this for you really quickly. Quiet cracking.
It's those employees that used to be engaged. They still
like their job, though, however, they feel invisible, they feel unheard,
and they feel stuck where they are, So that that
(20:55):
is what quiet cracking is.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Yeah, yeah, you know, I think a lot of that
has to do with all the venture capital companies that
are buying up companies and uh, you know, the the
the formula of the of long ago where a company
existed and you knew the people who owned the company
and you work for them and all that. Now the
(21:19):
company has been bought by owner company. Is that a
Is that a theory that's totally off the wall as
far as you're concerned.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
I don't think it's off the wall that I'm going
to delve a little bit deeper and say this much.
I think the bigger issue is and what I'm seeing
from some of these companies that have been bold up
by private equity venture capitalist that kind of thing. What
happens is is there becomes a huge communication breakdown, like
the style the culture that a company once you know,
(21:49):
operated in shifts dramatically because people don't know what the
heck is going on. They don't understand the new culture.
And frankly, you know, private equity venture capital are working
so fast to try to figure out what culture is
that people feel lost, and that's where quiet cracking really
kind of comes into place as well too. People don't
feel heard, they don't feel seen or understood. And frankly,
leadership isn't communicating. There's not there's not a two way
(22:12):
communication module, so to speak. They're just directing and making
commands versus asking people how, you know, how can they
really solve this problem together as a team. It's more,
you know, the top down leadership versus the bottom up style.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
That's that's so true. It's it's just, you know, do
it the way they want you to do it, and
even though you might know it's not the most efficient
way or it's not even the best way. If you jump,
if you jump up and you raise your hand and
you say, hey, can I make a suggestion, immediately you
can be characterized as a troublemaker. The other group who
I think, really we need to focus on the professional
(22:49):
being counters, the people that are making cuts. No, I'm serious,
I'm very serious.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
I laugh because I work with a lot of them.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yes, yeah, I mean they had no idea what the
company does. They have no idea what it's necessary for
that company to really support and grow. All they're looking
for is the bottom line. And if they can cut.
If they're told we can cut twenty two point four
percent of the personnel, then that's a great idea. Let's
just go through and cut twenty two point four percent,
(23:18):
not go in and find out the people who are
not pulling. Just twenty line them up. Yes, we'll do
it alphabetically, every fifth person. I just where have I mean,
this past get out of It's kind of out of control.
And what it does is it actually as opposed to
encouraging people, discourages people. I tell all my friends in management,
(23:41):
I tell most employees would prefer to get a pat
on the back occasionally, maybe a positive comment, a job
well done, and at a boy or at a girl,
whatever you want to call it, as opposed to getting
a two point one percent pay raise. I mean, it's
sure good employees there to help the company and do
(24:03):
their job there because they like their job, and they
might have been able to make more money at another
job that they wouldn't particularly like. But now the job
they like is getting turned into a job they don't like.
It is a go ahead.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
It is and yes, and and and the way that
you and You're so right. It's not It's not always
about the paycheck. It's do I feel connected to this company?
Do I feel connected to these people that work within
these walls as well too? And so what I tell
my leaders that I work with, I let me tell
you I work I work with some very very large organizations,
and what I tell them is this, You've got to
(24:37):
number one, recognize communication styles of the people on your team.
Not everyone opens up the same way. You know, some
people are very direct and they just want that direct
prompt whereas some people only share when trust is being
built has been built, right, And then you talked about
the feedback, you know, they just want to add a boy.
But I'll go even further and say, people want feedback
(24:59):
that really matters at a boy because you did X,
Y Z and it meant this much to the bottom line,
like be specific with the ATA boys. I mean that
people from really meaningful feedback. And then you know, also
what I say, you know, co create those career paths
with the people on your teams as well too. Instead
of guessing what they want, you got to ask. You
(25:21):
got to have the conversations. And I feel like post pandemic,
you know, we're doing a lot of checking of the
boxes about you know, have we done this training, have
we done this thing that HR wants us to do.
Are you having the conversations, are you making meaning in
those conversations, are you asking open ended questions? How are
you engaging the people on your on your teams? And
(25:42):
that's what people can do to really try to help
with this quiet cracking so to speak.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, it's I had an interesting experience last night. I
ran into a problem with my car, pulled into a
gas station late ten thirty at night, figuring that there's
going to be nobody there to help me, and I
found this young guy who helped me as a mobile
gas station. Okay uh, and make a long story short,
(26:09):
he was unbelievably helpful, and I asked him what he's
looking to do, and he told me that he wants
to become a commercial airline Pilot's a pretty smart guy.
And he told me that he applied for a job
as a flight attendant and that because he had some
sort of I don't know, a little mark on one
of his the side of his face, that he was
turned down for that job. And I just thought to myself,
(26:31):
here's a guy that went out of his way. I
mean to help me open up the hood. Let's check this,
let's check out, solve the problem for me. And some
knucklehead at some airline or some employment looking and by
the way, the kid's a hitsive looking kid, but he
had some sort of I don't know it was a
(26:53):
birkemark or whatever, and they said, well, if you removed
the mark, then we could consider you. And I thought, what,
oh my god.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (27:02):
It's not your people, that's not that's not somebody that
you'd want to work for. Anyway, they just filled you
in quicker than what you.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Thought, right, I guess, so save yourself some aggravation. At
the end of the day, I just think that American business,
UH is just heading down so many wrong paths that
I see, and I fear from my kids and I
fear from my grandchildren at this point that that we're
going to just take this country and this economic system
(27:30):
that we have, which is the greatest economic system in
the world, which provides rewards for incentive and good work,
and we we're devaluing good work and we're basically allowing
being counters. I'll say it again being counters to run
the run the economy, which is a huge problem. So
(27:51):
please continue to do what you do, Heather, and if
you ever need anybody to talk to anyone, I'm just off.
I just I feel this. I feel very strongly about this.
I really do.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I really Yeah, you could.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
Probably tell it's a huge issue.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I interview people twenty hours a week on the radio,
and you can tell how many people really want to
succeed and want their company to succeed, and you realize
that a lot of them are not valued.
Speaker 5 (28:22):
And I know, I know, I know, and it just gosh,
it just it breaks your heart, especially when you know
it's like there are things that people can do to
help these conversations and help what's going on. They just
I mean, at the end of the day, some of
these managers and senior leaders that I work with, things
have to get painful enough. Whereas it's affecting productivity, it's
(28:45):
affecting the bottom line where they actually reach out and go, Okay,
what the heck is going on and what am I
going to have to do? Differently with one client.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
It's like that, how can companies get in touch with
you to help, yeah, help themselves? Is you got a website,
I'm sure, Oh I do.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
And it's Heather Lyle l I s l E. So
the s a silo Heatherlyile dot com. Or I am
super active on LinkedIn as well to you and you
can find me at Heather Lyle co on LinkedIn and
post tons of content about this very topic. How to
be how to have those purposeful conversations, what it needs
to look like in the workplace so they can time
me there.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Keep doing what you're doing, because you sound like that
you have your your act together, and maybe you can
help some of the companies around the country get their
act together.
Speaker 5 (29:30):
I love what I do. I love what I do.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I can tell it. I can tell in your voice.
I can tell in your voice. Heather, thank you so much,
communication for having professional Heather Lyle l I s l
E dot com. Thanks Heather, we'll talk again. Thank you much.
Have a great night when we get back. When we
talk about scary headlines, we had some scary headlines over
the weekend, and a lot I'm sure that impacted a
(29:53):
lot of people. Can scary headlines make us sick? Sick?
Sick sick? How to minimize the health impact of negative
news cycle. We have a lot of negative news cycles.
Doctor Judith Orloff, best selling author of The Genius of Empathy,
a leading psychiatrist in the field of empathy, coming up
right after the break here on Nightside. You're on Nightside
(30:15):
with Dan Ray on YOUBZ, Boston's news radio. All right,
scary headlines? Can they make us sick? I think probably?
The question provides the answer with us is doctor Judith Orloff.
She's the best selling author of The Genius of Empathy,
a leading psychiatrist in the field of empathy. Empathy. We
(30:35):
all could use a little more empathy, that's for sure,
Doctor Orloff. Welcome to Nightside.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
Thank you, It's nice to talk to you.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Nice to talk with you. So the headline is, can
scary headlines make us sick? We had some scary headlines
the last couple of days. Looks like it might be
working out okay. But I'll bet you there are a
lot of people who who lost some sleep in the
last twenty four to forty eight hours.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Oh, I'm sure there are. There are so many people
who I've heard of who are feeling anxious or are depressed.
They have their stress hormones sowing in their body. The
adrenaline is soaring, which makes you very anxious, and so
it's just the anxiety and the nervous system of the
body is just being fed with too much adrenaline. And
(31:23):
so people are feeling anxious and wanting to have empathy
and wanting to care about all the people who are
in harm's way, but really caring too much. And so
it's important to learn how to set boundaries with your
empathies so you just don't become exhausted yourself.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Well, I've worked as a TV reporter for a long
time in the seventies, eighties, nineties, and well into the
two thousands, and I blame television news, particularly local television news.
Every is breaking news, breaking news. There's breaking news. There's
a car crash somewhere. It affects people who are in
(32:07):
the car, but it doesn't affect anyone else. There's breaking news.
There's a two alarm fire. Sad for the people whose
houses on fire. But I don't really consider And of
course it's television news consultants who have told the TV
news directors just keep throwing that breaking news people. It's
almost like, I don't know, it's almost like Pavlov's dog
(32:29):
or the mice that they run. They give them a
little sweetener and they like it and they want more
and more. Next thing, the mouse weighs eleven pounds. I mean, right,
what do you buy that? Or do you just because
people get locked on their teev Oh my god, there's
civil war here. Oh my god, there is this going
there's an earthquake. Whoa yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
I think as a psychiatrist, what I see is that
people are being made ill by the news because they're
transfixed by the drama of it and the danger of it.
And you know, seeing fellow humans getting hurt is very
hard to watch for carrying people, and so those with
empathy often get hurt the most. And so it's very
(33:16):
important that you limit your news input and have some
time for life and other things so you could balance
what's going on the world. It's important to be informed
as to what's happening, but there's a limit to how
much I would advise my patience to watch the news.
(33:39):
And it's important to be able to have enjoyment in
life that isn't destroyed by the drama and the horrors
of the news.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
I mean, I think I think about last last year,
earlier this year, the earlier this year actually January the fires,
the horrific fires outside of Los Angeles, and oh yes,
everybody looked at that, but unless you lived in that
portion of California, it wasn't going to affect you. But
(34:10):
at the same time it was it was heartbreaking. And
do we become almost addicted to bad news? Does it
make us feel psychologically going to ask you a psychological question,
does it make us feel better to realize maybe we're
we're luckier than the poor people who have lost all
(34:32):
their homes outside of Los Angeles. Is there that element
of it, the fact that we weren't on that plane
that crashed the other day in India.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Yes, I think there is that element of it, and
that it makes you more grateful for your own life
and your own health and your own safety. I live
in Los Angeles, so I went through the fires, and
I lived fairly close to the fires, so it was
extremely devastating what was happening in here. But you know, again,
(35:02):
for those who are elsewhere, you know, I really implore
you to take care of yourself and not get absorbed
in the trauma or the pain that's going on in
various parts of the world now because there's so much
of it and the human body can't hold up with
that if you keep looking at it. So it's important
to look at beautiful things too. It's important to look
(35:26):
up at the sky and the stars. It's important to
take a walk. It's important, you know, to do something
positive for your own self care, you know, in the
midst of everything that's happening.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yeah. The other thing too, that people could do. It
seems to me, and I'm not a psychiatrist, but people
will sit transfixed looking at for example, what's going on,
what was going on in Los Angeles and you know,
and well, you know, send a check for fifty dollars
to the Salvation Army or the United Way or some
group that's trying to help these poor people. Well, Betty, yet,
(35:57):
go take take a walk down the street. Maybe there's
a neighbor that all their children have left and they're lonely, Gwynn,
and you offer to go have a cup of coffee
with them or something. Do something that helps someone else,
spend a little bit of time away from the TV
set and do something that will make you feel better
(36:17):
about yourself.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
Absolutely. You know, it's been proven that when you do
good to others, that your biochemistry gets soothed, and that
your endorsements the natural painkillers start slowly, and that your
empathy feeds you rather than drains you. So paying it
forward is a way to feel good about yourself and
(36:41):
to respond to the news, to be able to do
something positive.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
As you said, Yeah, absolutely well, doctor Oloff, very nice
to talk with you. Your book is called The Genius
of Empathy that I assume is still available.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Oh, absolutely, it's available on Amazon, it's available and all bookstores.
And so it's about learning how to express empathy, but
again set boundaries and take care of yourself too well.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Very parallel virtues, let's put it like that, Doctor Judith
or author, best selling author of The Genius of Empathy.
Thank you very much for joining us tonight and spreading
the word that people need to take some time for
themselves and get away from the TV sets. Thanks so much, doctor,
appreciate it very much.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
They're very welcome.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
All right, we get back when we talk with the
president of the International Teamsters Union, the Brotherhood of Teamsters
about one point three million union members, Sean O'Brien, the
Boston Guy, Greater Boston Guy, let put it like that,
it's a little bit of a homecoming for Shan O'Brien.
Later on tonight, we'll bring up to the latest as
to what's going on in the Middle East, and it
would appear, matter of fact, it may actually be a
(37:54):
reality that is turning out better than anyone could have expected.
We will explain through the nine o'clock news here on
Nightside
It's nice eyes with Dan Ray.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm telling you easy Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Thanks very much, Madison. It has been a very interesting weekend,
that is for sure. My name is Dan Ray. I'm
the host of Nightside. Feeling a little better medically than
I felt last week, but it's still not at one
hundred percent. Rob Brooks hopefully is feeling absolutely at one
hundred percent. He's back in the control room. Rob, I'm
(00:26):
here all week I hope you are as well. Okay,
got the A team here all week long, and you
are also part of the A team if you're a
regular listener here to Nightside, or even better yet a
regular caller. We have a lot to discuss. We very
special guest coming up at nine o'clock tonight, the President
of the International Teamsters, the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, will
(00:48):
join us. Sean O'Brien. He's the general president of that organization.
He played a very significant role in the twenty twenty
four election. We'll discuss that role and how he feels
the Trump administration is doing. And certainly the timing could
not be better for a Trump administration. There's a report
(01:10):
that now Reuters has confirmed that there apparently will be
a ceasefire in the Middle East could take place even
before this show ends tonight. Quite a turnaround from Saturday
evening when all of us were sort of surprised and
shocked that that two week extension only was a two
(01:31):
day extension. And we'll have to see how this all transpires.
Maybe Donald Trump has played his cards right. We will
talk with Sean O'Brien about that, and they give you
a chance to weigh in a little bit later on tonight.
But first we have four really interesting guests, as we
always do in the first hour, and of course during
the first hour there are no phone calls, so you
(01:53):
can sit back, relax, put your feed up, enjoy your beverage.
Hopefully it's a nice iced beverage of some sort, because
it's pretty here in New England. With US is retired
Major General Bob Dees General Welcome. I need to salute you.
How are you, sir?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Good Dan good to be with night side.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I got his high up as back for it, so
I was saluting everybody, everybody who walked by. It didn't matter,
didn't matter. You're also with a great group called the
National Center for Healthy Veterans. I want to talk to
you about them, but before we do that, and I
will save some time for us to talk about that
their great work. But as I said, before we do that,
(02:34):
like to get your sense as to what's going on.
This is a pretty fast moving story. We've gone from
bunker busting bombs we all were hearing about it about
forty eight hours ago at this time, to we may
have some sort of a ceasefire according to President Trump.
(02:54):
What's going on here? A lot of people and the
stock market did well today and oil prices dropped. You
could have won a lot of money on that sometime
betting on Saturday night about midnight.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Correct, that's exactly right.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Boy, You're right. It's been fast moving, Dan, And just
six hours ago, you know, I would have predicted we'd
be talking about battle damage assessment and this and that.
But the reality is, yes, it's been announced there's a
peace deal. Apparently the President Trump called Prime Minister net
and Yahoo and then some of the Vice President was
working with Iran and some of their representatives and so
(03:33):
apparently they've broke her to peace deal and it's supposed to,
as you said, take place about three four hours from now.
So it's pretty amazing. I think it does illustrate the
power of deterrence. You know, we went in strong, precise
accomplished the mission with you know, startling success to be honest,
(03:54):
and everybody else just sort of saluted. As you were
referring to, Iran is sort of acting like a specialist
for right now to salute anything that walks by.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah. Well, it's a little early to know exactly the
extent of the battle damage assessment because the targets were
buried underground. But I would think that the response of
Iran to engage in this ceasefire and also I guess
to make the US aware of when they were going
(04:27):
to fire a few missiles and at what time they
were going to fire a few missiles and no one
was injured in that I think sort of symbolic a
large of fourteen smaller missiles. I think that that response
might be a pretty good indication of how much damage
(04:48):
was done down below or am I misreading is now?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I think you're probably accurate. My assessment was that Iran
wouldn't been but they would break, you know, they would
just fly it into the ground until they had to submit.
But I was certainly wrong about that, and I think
it's You're probably accurate that the true impact of what
we have done over the last forty eight hours has
(05:14):
really caused them to come to the table, and their
response in Qatar was tepid at best. And yeah, I agree,
a lot of people are reading into that, certainly weakness
but conciliation that they are really a defeated power and
they want to get the best deal they can now.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Would you agree? And just my last question is that
Israel's success in decapitating Hesba Llah a few months ago
going after Hamas in the Wig of October seventh, as
well as the departure of the Aside family from Syria,
and the fact that I think the Hoodies have been
(05:58):
put under control, that that Iran was kind of the
last last team standing. All of its proxies were off
the field and they were kind of naked to the
world here.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, well, I totally agree. Iran, I mean, Israel in
military terms, set the conditions well ahead of time, as
they normally do years I had in advance in some cases, uh,
and so that all the Iranian cards that surrogates were
taken off the table. My only caution, Dan would be
(06:31):
Iran has a lot of sleeper cells in the United States,
and even if Iran folds, there may be some sleeper
cells that you know, make their last gasp, or some
people some lone wolf actions. And we're also seeing a
lot of protests college campuses and things that around the
United States. So domestic threat is still you know, a
(06:54):
little alarming, to be honest.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Well, it was funny, I explained to a friend of
mine on Saturday night who was very concerned that perhaps
this was a precursor to sort of an Archduke Ferdinand
type of repeat of history from about a one hundred
and eleven years ago, the start of War One. And
I said, look, this prevented, This makes the world safer
(07:17):
from an outlaw nation possessing nuclear weaponry. This was this
was a conventional strike that I think has taken a
potential nuclear country off the playing field. And I view,
I don't see I would think college campuses would be
(07:38):
up in arms congratulating the US military and President Trump
for what may apparently is going to be accomplished. I
hope it is. Obviously I don't want to you know,
start to you know, celebrate too quickly here, but it
certainly things in the last forty typical. You expect people
to come out with the flags. I see the Iranian flags,
(07:58):
and those are just people who hate this country, and
they would, they would, they would, they would protest against
the Trump administration finding a cure for cancer. That's no
question about that. Okay, Let's talk more importantly for the
moment about the National Center for Healthy Veterans. We've done
a lot on this program about returning veterans and the
(08:21):
issues that they faced, particularly those who were actually in
the line of fire during in warfare with live fire
going on around them. Tell Us, tell us about the group,
the National Center for Healthy Veterans.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah, Dan, I'd say we're a unique national prototype. We're
a nine month residential program. Most programs are much shorter,
but we fight recidivism and we bring at risk veterans,
Veterans that are suicidal, Veterans that perhaps have been in
jail under bridges, veterans that are stuck in their parents'
basement playing video games, veterans that have had three jobs
(08:56):
in the last year that can't adjust. All these veterans
have tremendous potential, and so we help them do a
life free set over that time period. We're at healthy
veterans dot Org if people want to learn more. One
of the things I'd ask all your viewers, we need
to find the people. Most of the people we help
don't want to be found. We need to find people
(09:16):
that are at risk, refer them to us. There's just
a button on the website that does that, and let's
get these people help. We have people from over twelve
different states and so we're a national organization that fills
a unique gap in our service for veterans overall. So yeah,
(09:37):
appreciate the shout out. We have a large what we
call a healing platform. But we have twenty five horses,
three hundred and thirty nine acres, two hundred and seventy
five chickens that give us eighty dozen eggs a week.
So that's a lot of dignified work. And we live
in community to defeed isolation, one of the primary causes
of veterans suicide. We have trauma recovery, life skills program as,
(10:00):
professional counseling, coaching, equine therapy. So it's a really powerful,
unique platform and people are We have one spin off
in Kentucky.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
In fact, well, as a matter of fact, I'm noticing
here that you're an Alta Vista, Virginia at the at
Valor Farm, which is appropriately named. And you know you're
doing you're doing great work here and again the website
couldn't be simpler. Healthy Veterans dot Org. I'm very much
involved with a couple of veterans groups, one of which
(10:30):
is Hope for the Veterans, Hope for the Warriors. I
should say, oh good that a friend of mine got
me involved in many many years ago, and we forget
what these men and women sacrifice when they volunteer to
serve in defense of this nation.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Well, thank you, Dan.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
I'm glad you saw your help veterans every way you can,
and I just ask all your listeners to do the same.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Well, Major General, I appreciate it very much. Hoped that
our optimism is well founded. Irrespective of political parties or
philosophical viewpoints. We want to keep our people safe. Extraordinary
work by the military, the US Air Force on Saturday night,
that is for sure. That's an incredible story. Thank you,
(11:19):
Major General. Appreciate it very much. I hope to have
you back. Let's get an update on this sum How
you doing a few months from now?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Okay, sounds good. Dan, good to be with you.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Take care back at you, Major General retired Robert d'es.
We'll be back on nights. We're going to talk about
the biggest summer shopping trends. Lighting up a little bit
with Casey Kevin Eddie, USA Today's editorial director of Shopping.
By the way, I have a free before you all.
If you'd like, you can pull down the new and
improved iHeart app. You can just go on to whatever
(11:50):
place you go, Google Store or whatever, pull it down,
put it on. Whatever your device is, your desktops, your laptops,
your tablets, your phones, whatever. Make us WBZ Boston your
first preset. You'll only be a fingertip away, fingertip away
from us wherever you may happen to travel in the world.
(12:11):
And at the same time, there's also a button on
there that you could leave us a message if you'd like,
and that message goes directly to mister Rob Brooks in
the control room. You can do it at any hour
of the day, but we particularly love to hear from
you during the show and maybe we'll play it on
the air. We want his phone callers. No question, this
is still a talk show, but you can certainly make
a comment about, for example, that last interview with Major
(12:34):
General retired Bob des that's the sort of thing that
you would love to hear from you. We're coming right
back on Nightside. We're going to talk about summer shopping. Friends.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
It's night Side with Dan Ray on w Boston's News Radio.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Well, summer has arrived in full force here in New England.
There's no question the spring is over. We'll spring never happen, really,
but summer's here. It's packing a punch all across the
United States, about one hundred and ninety people under this
summer heat wave. So June twenty third with US is
Casey Kimminedding, USA Today's exec editorial director of Shopping. That's
(13:11):
a pretty neat job. How are you, Casey's Kim and Eddy.
Nice to meet you.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Hi, nice to meet you. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 5 (13:19):
Yes, it is gig.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yeah, Yeah, that's that's one that I've met a lot
of people, but particularly women. I don't want to be
sexist here, would like and you got all sorts of
tips here on shopping deals and product recommendations. And I'm
sure a lot of my listeners had their pens and
pencils poised. What do you got going on?
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Yeah, for sure. So summer shopping is already picking up
like crazy. People are really shopping early, earlier and earlier.
I feel like for every season, holiday, you know, all
the events. So yeah, summer shopping. People are really excited
(14:03):
about back to school with maybe they I know.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Back to school. My parents ever were shopping from back
to school on June twenty third. I think I would
have run away from home. Go ahead, I'm sorry, go.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Ahead, right, No, I yeah, I agree, But yeah, the
people they know what they want. Definitely a lot of
like big ticket back to school items, so laptops, tablets,
even like earbuds and stuff like that, things that you
need for when you're you know, in high school college,
(14:41):
And a lot of retailers are hosting huge sales already
so you can get a good deal.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I'm hoping that they're not buying tablets and things like
that for kids who are in elementary school, because that's
just a little personal point of personal prerogative that I
think kids should worry about reading, writing, and arithmetic until
at least the fifth or sixth grade. But go ahead,
So we've we've depressed any sixth graders who are listening
(15:13):
to my show at this yes that they alway's going
to get mad at what what are the hot summer
items here? Barbecue, yeah, grills, whatever.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
So basically right now, we have Amazon Prime Day coming
up in July and it's kind of a kickoff this summer.
So it's happening July eighth to the eleventh.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
They're kicking it off on my birthday. Yeah right, Okay,
well that's good.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
We'll make that.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I'm going to turn twenty I'm going to turn twenty
nine years old on July.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Go ahead, looks great.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
And if you if you believe, if you believe that,
I have a bridge in Brooklyn, so you go ahead,
Casey have only teasing.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
No, So we've we've seen a lot of early deals already.
And like I said, definitely, electronics are great, you know,
people are loving them. But the grills, the outdoor summer
products like portable chargers, speakers for your barbecue. Something that's
(16:27):
been popular is a digital meat.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Thermometer okay, okay.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
For your barbecue, and you know, super affordable makes grilling
a lot easier.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, so I growed, I grilled, I grilled some steak,
tips last night. They were great, but at that point
I could have. But I'm doing it all by the look,
you know you kind of Yeah, a little little meet
thermometer probably could come in handy, that is for sure.
Now does this mean? And again, you really blew me
(17:04):
away when you said people doing back to school normally.
I think back to school mid August. There'll be a
second wave of back to school for them. I don't
want any parents who are listening tonight, I think they've
missed out here.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
I mean, I mean, yeah, I remember back to school
shopping was right before school started end of August. You know,
we were at Staples or wherever picking out markers and stuff.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, we do push it. By the way, you made
a comment earlier, and it seems to me that the
Halloween decorations show up sometime around Labor Day, and Christmas
decorations now appear before Halloween. And it just seems to
me that we are always in a rush to get
it done as opposed to enjoy it when it happens.
(17:56):
And I think that's a tough trend. Although again, push
is always going to be, you know, get him in
the tent and get him buy it. What's the single
best superby that you could recommend across the board. What
have you seen right now? Is that is that's almost
investment quality? Great? If you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Yeah, Well, first I will say I agree. I mean
the you know, the sales and deals and shopping, it
starts earlier and earlier. But I will say, there's such
it's such a relief. Like personally, if I get my
holiday shopping done a month ahead of time, I'm like, oh,
(18:39):
I can relax and breathe. They don't have to be stressed.
So there definitely is like there's a benefit to get
in the head.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Now I guess you were going on a Christmas card
list already or no project in a little shoe box
ready to go. They got him done by about August. First,
It's like, okay, ok I really enjoyed. Thank you very much.
We'll have you back. You were fun to talk with.
(19:10):
USA Today's editorial director of Shopping, Casey Kim, and Eddie
the woman with the job.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Everyone goold love to have.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Thank you so much, Casey, have a great night. Take
it easy. Rob. What are we doing here? Did we
did we miss an ABC News special? We don't? Okay,
then that's fine. We have our own newscast coming up,
and on the other side of the newscast, we're talking
about quiet cracking. We're not talking about like taking eggs
(19:37):
and really gently cracking them. No, we're talking about what
is behind this new workplace threat. People are quiet cracking.
We'll be back and we'll be very honest about it.
Coming back on Night.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Side with Dan Ray.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I'm Boston's news radio.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
All Right, everything has a word. Everything, every action or
reaction can be characterized. Here's one I've never heard of before,
quiet cracking. What's behind this new work paid workplace threat. Well, Heather,
while she's a workplace expert, communications marketing professional who oversees
(20:18):
leadership lab that's for leadership training. What the heck is
quiet cracking? I think I know, but I want to
make sure I'm not making an assumption. Welcome to Nightside, Heather.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
Oh, thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.
Quiet cracking, Yes, it's another term. Right, it's another thing
that we've got to figure out. But let me just
kind of unpack this for you really quickly. Quiet cracking.
It's those employees that used to be engaged. They still
like their job, though, however, they feel invisible, they feel unheard,
and they feel stuck where they are, So that that
(20:55):
is what quiet cracking is.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Yeah, yeah, you know, I think a lot of that
has to do with all the venture capital companies that
are buying up companies and uh, you know, the the
the formula of the of long ago where a company
existed and you knew the people who owned the company
and you work for them and all that. Now the
(21:19):
company has been bought by owner company. Is that a
Is that a theory that's totally off the wall as
far as you're concerned.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
I don't think it's off the wall that I'm going
to delve a little bit deeper and say this much.
I think the bigger issue is and what I'm seeing
from some of these companies that have been bold up
by private equity venture capitalist that kind of thing. What
happens is is there becomes a huge communication breakdown, like
the style the culture that a company once you know,
(21:49):
operated in shifts dramatically because people don't know what the
heck is going on. They don't understand the new culture.
And frankly, you know, private equity venture capital are working
so fast to try to figure out what culture is
that people feel lost, and that's where quiet cracking really
kind of comes into place as well too. People don't
feel heard, they don't feel seen or understood. And frankly,
leadership isn't communicating. There's not there's not a two way
(22:12):
communication module, so to speak. They're just directing and making
commands versus asking people how, you know, how can they
really solve this problem together as a team. It's more,
you know, the top down leadership versus the bottom up style.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
That's that's so true. It's it's just, you know, do
it the way they want you to do it, and
even though you might know it's not the most efficient
way or it's not even the best way. If you jump,
if you jump up and you raise your hand and
you say, hey, can I make a suggestion, immediately you
can be characterized as a troublemaker. The other group who
I think, really we need to focus on the professional
(22:49):
being counters, the people that are making cuts. No, I'm serious,
I'm very serious.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
I laugh because I work with a lot of them.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yes, yeah, I mean they had no idea what the
company does. They have no idea what it's necessary for
that company to really support and grow. All they're looking
for is the bottom line. And if they can cut.
If they're told we can cut twenty two point four
percent of the personnel, then that's a great idea. Let's
just go through and cut twenty two point four percent,
(23:18):
not go in and find out the people who are
not pulling. Just twenty line them up. Yes, we'll do
it alphabetically, every fifth person. I just where have I mean,
this past get out of It's kind of out of control.
And what it does is it actually as opposed to
encouraging people, discourages people. I tell all my friends in management,
(23:41):
I tell most employees would prefer to get a pat
on the back occasionally, maybe a positive comment, a job
well done, and at a boy or at a girl,
whatever you want to call it, as opposed to getting
a two point one percent pay raise. I mean, it's
sure good employees there to help the company and do
(24:03):
their job there because they like their job, and they
might have been able to make more money at another
job that they wouldn't particularly like. But now the job
they like is getting turned into a job they don't like.
It is a go ahead.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
It is and yes, and and and the way that
you and You're so right. It's not It's not always
about the paycheck. It's do I feel connected to this company?
Do I feel connected to these people that work within
these walls as well too? And so what I tell
my leaders that I work with, I let me tell
you I work I work with some very very large organizations,
and what I tell them is this, You've got to
(24:37):
number one, recognize communication styles of the people on your team.
Not everyone opens up the same way. You know, some
people are very direct and they just want that direct
prompt whereas some people only share when trust is being
built has been built, right, And then you talked about
the feedback, you know, they just want to add a boy.
But I'll go even further and say, people want feedback
(24:59):
that really matters at a boy because you did X,
Y Z and it meant this much to the bottom line,
like be specific with the ATA boys. I mean that
people from really meaningful feedback. And then you know, also
what I say, you know, co create those career paths
with the people on your teams as well too. Instead
of guessing what they want, you got to ask. You
(25:21):
got to have the conversations. And I feel like post pandemic,
you know, we're doing a lot of checking of the
boxes about you know, have we done this training, have
we done this thing that HR wants us to do.
Are you having the conversations, are you making meaning in
those conversations, are you asking open ended questions? How are
you engaging the people on your on your teams? And
(25:42):
that's what people can do to really try to help
with this quiet cracking so to speak.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, it's I had an interesting experience last night. I
ran into a problem with my car, pulled into a
gas station late ten thirty at night, figuring that there's
going to be nobody there to help me, and I
found this young guy who helped me as a mobile
gas station. Okay uh, and make a long story short,
(26:09):
he was unbelievably helpful, and I asked him what he's
looking to do, and he told me that he wants
to become a commercial airline Pilot's a pretty smart guy.
And he told me that he applied for a job
as a flight attendant and that because he had some
sort of I don't know, a little mark on one
of his the side of his face, that he was
turned down for that job. And I just thought to myself,
(26:31):
here's a guy that went out of his way. I
mean to help me open up the hood. Let's check this,
let's check out, solve the problem for me. And some
knucklehead at some airline or some employment looking and by
the way, the kid's a hitsive looking kid, but he
had some sort of I don't know it was a
(26:53):
birkemark or whatever, and they said, well, if you removed
the mark, then we could consider you. And I thought, what,
oh my god.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (27:02):
It's not your people, that's not that's not somebody that
you'd want to work for. Anyway, they just filled you
in quicker than what you.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Thought, right, I guess, so save yourself some aggravation. At
the end of the day, I just think that American business,
UH is just heading down so many wrong paths that
I see, and I fear from my kids and I
fear from my grandchildren at this point that that we're
going to just take this country and this economic system
(27:30):
that we have, which is the greatest economic system in
the world, which provides rewards for incentive and good work,
and we we're devaluing good work and we're basically allowing
being counters. I'll say it again being counters to run
the run the economy, which is a huge problem. So
(27:51):
please continue to do what you do, Heather, and if
you ever need anybody to talk to anyone, I'm just off.
I just I feel this. I feel very strongly about this.
I really do.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I really Yeah, you could.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
Probably tell it's a huge issue.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I interview people twenty hours a week on the radio,
and you can tell how many people really want to
succeed and want their company to succeed, and you realize
that a lot of them are not valued.
Speaker 5 (28:22):
And I know, I know, I know, and it just gosh,
it just it breaks your heart, especially when you know
it's like there are things that people can do to
help these conversations and help what's going on. They just
I mean, at the end of the day, some of
these managers and senior leaders that I work with, things
have to get painful enough. Whereas it's affecting productivity, it's
(28:45):
affecting the bottom line where they actually reach out and go, Okay,
what the heck is going on and what am I
going to have to do? Differently with one client.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
It's like that, how can companies get in touch with
you to help, yeah, help themselves? Is you got a website,
I'm sure, Oh I do.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
And it's Heather Lyle l I s l E. So
the s a silo Heatherlyile dot com. Or I am
super active on LinkedIn as well to you and you
can find me at Heather Lyle co on LinkedIn and
post tons of content about this very topic. How to
be how to have those purposeful conversations, what it needs
to look like in the workplace so they can time
me there.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Keep doing what you're doing, because you sound like that
you have your your act together, and maybe you can
help some of the companies around the country get their
act together.
Speaker 5 (29:30):
I love what I do. I love what I do.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I can tell it. I can tell in your voice.
I can tell in your voice. Heather, thank you so much,
communication for having professional Heather Lyle l I s l
E dot com. Thanks Heather, we'll talk again. Thank you much.
Have a great night when we get back. When we
talk about scary headlines, we had some scary headlines over
the weekend, and a lot I'm sure that impacted a
(29:53):
lot of people. Can scary headlines make us sick? Sick?
Sick sick? How to minimize the health impact of negative
news cycle. We have a lot of negative news cycles.
Doctor Judith Orloff, best selling author of The Genius of Empathy,
a leading psychiatrist in the field of empathy, coming up
right after the break here on Nightside. You're on Nightside
(30:15):
with Dan Ray on YOUBZ, Boston's news radio. All right,
scary headlines? Can they make us sick? I think probably?
The question provides the answer with us is doctor Judith Orloff.
She's the best selling author of The Genius of Empathy,
a leading psychiatrist in the field of empathy. Empathy. We
(30:35):
all could use a little more empathy, that's for sure,
Doctor Orloff. Welcome to Nightside.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
Thank you, It's nice to talk to you.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Nice to talk with you. So the headline is, can
scary headlines make us sick? We had some scary headlines
the last couple of days. Looks like it might be
working out okay. But I'll bet you there are a
lot of people who who lost some sleep in the
last twenty four to forty eight hours.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Oh, I'm sure there are. There are so many people
who I've heard of who are feeling anxious or are depressed.
They have their stress hormones sowing in their body. The
adrenaline is soaring, which makes you very anxious, and so
it's just the anxiety and the nervous system of the
body is just being fed with too much adrenaline. And
(31:23):
so people are feeling anxious and wanting to have empathy
and wanting to care about all the people who are
in harm's way, but really caring too much. And so
it's important to learn how to set boundaries with your
empathies so you just don't become exhausted yourself.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Well, I've worked as a TV reporter for a long
time in the seventies, eighties, nineties, and well into the
two thousands, and I blame television news, particularly local television news.
Every is breaking news, breaking news. There's breaking news. There's
a car crash somewhere. It affects people who are in
(32:07):
the car, but it doesn't affect anyone else. There's breaking news.
There's a two alarm fire. Sad for the people whose
houses on fire. But I don't really consider And of
course it's television news consultants who have told the TV
news directors just keep throwing that breaking news people. It's
almost like, I don't know, it's almost like Pavlov's dog
(32:29):
or the mice that they run. They give them a
little sweetener and they like it and they want more
and more. Next thing, the mouse weighs eleven pounds. I mean, right,
what do you buy that? Or do you just because
people get locked on their teev Oh my god, there's
civil war here. Oh my god, there is this going
there's an earthquake. Whoa yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
I think as a psychiatrist, what I see is that
people are being made ill by the news because they're
transfixed by the drama of it and the danger of it.
And you know, seeing fellow humans getting hurt is very
hard to watch for carrying people, and so those with
empathy often get hurt the most. And so it's very
(33:16):
important that you limit your news input and have some
time for life and other things so you could balance
what's going on the world. It's important to be informed
as to what's happening, but there's a limit to how
much I would advise my patience to watch the news.
(33:39):
And it's important to be able to have enjoyment in
life that isn't destroyed by the drama and the horrors
of the news.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
I mean, I think I think about last last year,
earlier this year, the earlier this year actually January the fires,
the horrific fires outside of Los Angeles, and oh yes,
everybody looked at that, but unless you lived in that
portion of California, it wasn't going to affect you. But
(34:10):
at the same time it was it was heartbreaking. And
do we become almost addicted to bad news? Does it
make us feel psychologically going to ask you a psychological question,
does it make us feel better to realize maybe we're
we're luckier than the poor people who have lost all
(34:32):
their homes outside of Los Angeles. Is there that element
of it, the fact that we weren't on that plane
that crashed the other day in India.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Yes, I think there is that element of it, and
that it makes you more grateful for your own life
and your own health and your own safety. I live
in Los Angeles, so I went through the fires, and
I lived fairly close to the fires, so it was
extremely devastating what was happening in here. But you know, again,
(35:02):
for those who are elsewhere, you know, I really implore
you to take care of yourself and not get absorbed
in the trauma or the pain that's going on in
various parts of the world now because there's so much
of it and the human body can't hold up with
that if you keep looking at it. So it's important
to look at beautiful things too. It's important to look
(35:26):
up at the sky and the stars. It's important to
take a walk. It's important, you know, to do something
positive for your own self care, you know, in the
midst of everything that's happening.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yeah. The other thing too, that people could do. It
seems to me, and I'm not a psychiatrist, but people
will sit transfixed looking at for example, what's going on,
what was going on in Los Angeles and you know,
and well, you know, send a check for fifty dollars
to the Salvation Army or the United Way or some
group that's trying to help these poor people. Well, Betty, yet,
(35:57):
go take take a walk down the street. Maybe there's
a neighbor that all their children have left and they're lonely, Gwynn,
and you offer to go have a cup of coffee
with them or something. Do something that helps someone else,
spend a little bit of time away from the TV
set and do something that will make you feel better
(36:17):
about yourself.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
Absolutely. You know, it's been proven that when you do
good to others, that your biochemistry gets soothed, and that
your endorsements the natural painkillers start slowly, and that your
empathy feeds you rather than drains you. So paying it
forward is a way to feel good about yourself and
(36:41):
to respond to the news, to be able to do
something positive.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
As you said, Yeah, absolutely well, doctor Oloff, very nice
to talk with you. Your book is called The Genius
of Empathy that I assume is still available.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Oh, absolutely, it's available on Amazon, it's available and all bookstores.
And so it's about learning how to express empathy, but
again set boundaries and take care of yourself too well.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Very parallel virtues, let's put it like that, Doctor Judith
or author, best selling author of The Genius of Empathy.
Thank you very much for joining us tonight and spreading
the word that people need to take some time for
themselves and get away from the TV sets. Thanks so much, doctor,
appreciate it very much.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
They're very welcome.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
All right, we get back when we talk with the
president of the International Teamsters Union, the Brotherhood of Teamsters
about one point three million union members, Sean O'Brien, the
Boston Guy, Greater Boston Guy, let put it like that,
it's a little bit of a homecoming for Shan O'Brien.
Later on tonight, we'll bring up to the latest as
to what's going on in the Middle East, and it
would appear, matter of fact, it may actually be a
(37:54):
reality that is turning out better than anyone could have expected.
We will explain through the nine o'clock news here on
Nightside
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