Australian Author Opens Up About Mental Health Journey

Australian journalist and published author Jonathon ‘J.Mo’ Moran, shared his personal journey through mental health struggles, his upbringing in Canberra, and his path to becoming a journalist. J.Mo, who recently published “Mental as Anyone”, reflected on his experiences growing up with a bipolar mother and navigating his own mental health challenges.

Born in Canberra, he described the city as a place of roundabouts, coffee culture, and political decision-making. ​ Despite its charm, his childhood was marked by financial struggles and the emotional toll of his mother’s illness. ​ “She was amazing, my best friend, but there was a lot of darkness,” he said, recalling her bouts of depression and hospitalisations. ​These challenges shaped his early years, leaving him grappling with his own mental health by his late teens. ​

At 20, J.Mo faced a series of life-altering events, including a breakup, confronting an abuser, and a mental health crisis that led to hospitalisation. ​ Diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD, he described his time in the psych ward as both freeing and transformative. ​ “It was a relief to be seen and understood,” he said, noting the stigma surrounding mental health at the time. ​Craft sessions and medication provided a sense of stability, though he admitted the journey was far from over. ​

Determined to build himself a life on his terms, J.Mo moved to Melbourne, where he found employment and indulged in the city’s vibrant nightlife. “I partied a lot, took lots of drugs, and drank, but it was a way to let off steam,” he said. ​ Despite the challenges, he remained focused on his goal of completing his journalism degree. ​After a year in Melbourne, he returned to Canberra, where he graduated and began his career.

J.Mo first journalism role was with Australian Associated Press, working in the press gallery at Parliament House. While he initially doubted his abilities, the opportunity allowed him to hone his skills and gain confidence. “I wanted to be a serious foreign correspondent, but I was plagued with self-doubt,” he admitted. ​

Now considered Australia’s leading entertainment writer at The Daily Telegraph, J.Mo uses his platform to advocate for mental health awareness, drawing from his own experiences to inspire others. ​His book “Mental as Anyone” is was published earlier this year and available wherever good books are sold, and his podcast “Mental As Anyone with J.Mo” updates with new episodes weekly.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:08):
You're listening to a podcast from news Talk said B.
Follow this and our wide range of podcasts now on iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Greetings and welcome. I'm Hamish Williams and you're listening to
the podcast version of The Nutters Club, a radio show
broadcast on news Talk said B that talks about mental health,
then shares helpful tips and insights about how to live
with your own. The show is broadcast live on Sunday
nights on news Talk Said B right across New Zealand

(00:41):
and around the world. Since two thousand and nine, we've
always looked to help you, our audience by sharing stories
of people's experiences with their own mental health. This week,
psychotherapist Carl McDonald and myself were joined by Australian journalist
and published author Jonathan Jamo. Moran from navigating the challenges

(01:04):
of a childhood shaped by his mother's bipolar disorder to
open coming his own battles with depression and PTSD. JMO.
She is how he found resilience in purpose and how
that came to form his new book Mental As Anyone.
Let us know what you learn from our chat with
Jmo on any of our social media platforms. Just search

(01:24):
for the Nutters Club in zid Welcome to the show.
Thanks for being here.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Would it be rude if I say Kiyota?

Speaker 2 (01:32):
You can say Kyoto? If you want Hi, there you go.
How did that feel?

Speaker 3 (01:36):
I am so stoked to be here, tickled pink, proud
as punch to come over here and be one of
a few people to have been to come here from international,
from overseas waters and I love the Nutters Club.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Tell us a bit about yourself. Where were you born,
where'd you grow up?

Speaker 3 (01:54):
I'm mental, That's why you've invited me on the show.
So that's the first thing I want to say. That's
why I've written a book called Mental as Anyone, because
I think we're all mental. I was born in Canberra.
It's the nation's capital in Australia. It's where no one
wants to go. You go there, there's lots of roundabouts

(02:14):
and there's more coffee there per head than anywhere else
in Australia. That's where all the politicians go and make
the decisions about things, and it's very clean and nice.
And that's where I grew up. I was born at
Camberra Hospital, which no longer exists. They exploded or imploded that.

(02:36):
And I've got a twin sister named Alison. She's one
of the loves of my life. Got four beautiful nieces.
There are the loves of my life. And a beautiful
brother in law I didn't know with one of his
cousins just up here on k Road that lives in
New Zealand. And I'm just a normal bloke that's trying

(02:58):
to survive on the chaotic roller coaster of life. And
my head sometimes goes a little bit wonky.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Doesn't at all for for all of us, Well, I
mean tell us a little bit about that then. So
you know, when we talk about that roller coaster of life,
when when you were when you were younger, and you know,
you've painted a pretty idyllic picture there of growing up
in Canberra, But when did you sort of first notice
that perhaps the roller coaster was going to have some

(03:27):
highs and some lows and go round and round in
circles at times.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
I'm an open book, so I wear everything on my sleeve,
my heart and all my organs. I my mother was bipolar,
so I grew up. I'm forty seven and that is
old in gay years. I'm three hundred and twenty nine

(03:54):
in gay years, so I've lived many lives throughout the
nineties and so on with my mum being mentally ill.
That was a very different time. That was you know,
where people thought one flew over the cuckoo's nest, where

(04:16):
it wasn't understood. You certainly didn't admit it, you didn't
talk about it. It wasn't a public situation. Family members
to this day, my mom's been dead for sixteen years
and still would not. My aunt would say, your mom
didn't have depression, your mom didn't have bipolar, Your grandmother
didn't you know, that sort of stuff. And there was

(04:37):
a lot of darkness in the house. My mum was amazing.
She was friggin' awesome. She was my best friend, Trisha.
She was an amazing mother. She cared and she was
a single parent and did everything for my sister and I.
But there was a lot of darkness. We didn't have
a lot of money, we didn't have you know, school

(05:01):
lunches weren't what they seemed to be for other kids.
So there was you know, we didn't have friends over
after school. Mum wasn't picking us up from school and
taking us to activities because she was either working to
pay the bills and worked very hard, getting home late, etc.
And when she was home, she was sleeping because that

(05:24):
was her way of getting through tough times, crying, depressed,
and she spent a lot of time in hospital. So,
you know, while I had a great childhood in lots
of ways, I had a lot of darkness there when
I was a teen to twenties when I discovered my

(05:47):
own battles and I was first diagnosed with severe depression
and extreme PTSD and these sorts of things. And the
moment that that happened was when I broke up with
There was a breakup with my first boyfriend, and there

(06:11):
was a breakup with him, I confronted my abuser and
I ended up in hospital. And that all happened over
a very short amount of time. And I year about
twenty roughly twenty. I was in second year of end
of first year of UNI. I had to put my

(06:31):
UNI journalism studies on hold at Camber UNI and I
needed to take a year off because I had a
breakdown and I attempted to take my life and I
was in hospital and I'm just thinking now of being
wheeled from one from Ward seven B at Canberra at
Calvary Hospital to Hyasin Green, the private hospital where the

(06:53):
sych was, and they wheeled me over in a wheelchair
because I was so weak from physically having to go
through some treatments. And that was the first time I
was diagnosed stuff, and it was clear that I had
been that I'd struggled as a kid, and I had

(07:15):
struggled earlier on. I think the first time I had
attempted to take my life was in year four three.
That's pretty young, but it wasn't a serious attempt. My
first proper attempt was at twenty or so. Heavy stuff
to get started on this bright Sunday night.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Well, we're glad that you're still here. And I want
to talk about that too, because often when we have
those kind of events in life, it can be a
cause for actually hidden the brakes big time and going Okay,
what do I need to do different? What's actually going
on here?

Speaker 3 (07:47):
Ultimately, at that period of my life, there were a
few things going on. Firstly, I wasn't in the private hospital.
The psychiatrist was in the private hospital. I was in
the public hospital, and it was it was actually amazing.
I felt free, I felt relieved, I didn't have to
worry about it out anything other than being present there

(08:11):
and trying to be better. And what was going on
in my head was this thing where I had thoughts
that were going at a million miles an hour racing
in my head, like talking to myself was quite scary,

(08:35):
and I just fell into it and the doctor put
me on medication. And that week that I spent in
the psych word. I don't know if that's appropriate.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
To call it a psych word or yeah, I think so.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, in the health facility, whatever the right word is,
was actually very freeing because I felt like I was
being seen and understood. And I often say, you know,
with mental health, you don't have a broken bone. If

(09:10):
you have a broken bone or a cold even or something,
it's easy to put a label on it. But when
it was mental health, and certainly back then even more so,
it was in a situation where people didn't understand. And
so to have a doctor say to me, actually, JMO,
you have severe depression, you have extreme PTSD. You are

(09:34):
going through this, and we're going to put you on
some medication to try and clear those thoughts was a relief,
a sense of relief, and there were still those thoughts,
but it was ultimately that relief that I felt at

(09:58):
that point.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
So having the relief was just because you know, you
didn't have to bottle this up anymore. You can actually
talk openly about this.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to
be I just wanted to be there. I wanted to
wait for the medication to kick in. I remember doing
craft sessions in the hospital. I made I don't know
what they call them, but they're like these gel crystal
things and you make them and they put them as
like a thing that you stick on the window and

(10:28):
it sort of shines a light through, or you put
on your fridge or whatever. I made those. I was
quite proud of that because I was terrible at art
at school, so it gave me something else to focus
on and let other people look after me. I didn't
buy any standards by any measure, think that I was

(10:50):
cured or even I felt like I was starting a
journey to do something. But I just gave into this
as someone else can look after me and I'm running
on zero. And to be honest, I ended up back
in hospital a few times, but it was it was

(11:11):
the start of something.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
So look, please talk about that. Those early twenties. You
know you obviously you said you were back in and
out of hospital a few times, but you know, life
didn't completely stop for you. You still had dreams, aspirations,
goals that you wanted to achieve. So what else was
going on in your life and where were you starting
to hit in terms of your interests and what you
wanted to do.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
I needed to find myself. So I left Canberra, which
was a city of a small capital city. Back then
it was three hundred and fifty odd thousand people, and
I went and lived in Melbourne, which was really awesome.
And I lived down there for a year. And I
am allowed to say that I partied a lot, and

(11:53):
I sure, I mean my self, I didn't do all
the right things, but I let off some steam. I
took lots of drugs, party drugs. I drank lots. I
took a job at an insurance roadside assistem it's business
called NRIMA, firstly in the call center and then I

(12:14):
did some insurance assessing. It was just a job to
get through and pay my bills and pay my rent,
and it was awesome. I was still I was on
my medication. I was trying to deal with a lot
and pick myself back up after having my breakdown, and

(12:38):
it was great. But ultimately I wanted to finish my degree.
I wanted to finish my journalism degree, and so I
moved back to Canberra after a year and a bit
living in Melbourne, and I went back to Camber and
knuckled down, and ultimately I finished my degree.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
And then what you thought, well, I'm a journalist now,
so that was that you started.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
I was so plagued with self doubt, so I I
thought I'd be a terrible journalist. I wanted to be
the serious foreign correspondent. But I did work experience at
a think called Australian Associated Press, which is like a
wire service, and I did a week there and then
they offered me for a job twenty hours a week

(13:25):
in the press gallery at Parliament House in Canberra, which
was bloody awesome. And so I still partied, still took drugs,
still did all my stuff, but I got good grades.
I moved out of home because I had a great
relationship with my mum, but at that point she'd remarried
or she'd married, and I had a stepdad that I
didn't have a great relationship with and it was Yeah.

(13:48):
I lived in a group house with some girlfriends who
i'm still very dear friends with now and got through UNI.
I would avoid going to tuts so we'd have to
read out our work because I was too embarrassed. And
I thought, as I said, I'd be a terrible journalist.
And here I am now seemingly being a decent successful journalist.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
So how long did you last do in the press gallery? Gig?

Speaker 5 (14:15):
For him?

Speaker 3 (14:16):
I love politics, and I like people to not know
that sort of because I like them to underestimate me
and just think I'm just an entertainment guy. I wear
my politics on my sleeve like everything else. So I
don't think I could be a very good political journalist
because I'd get too annoyed. I did that for the

(14:38):
two years that I was in Canberra, so through second
year of Union, third year of Union.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Then I graduated, and.

Speaker 3 (14:44):
Then I applied for a cadet ship because I was
an editorial assistant, which is basically a glorified office assistant
where you'd do photocopying, wash the dishes, print stuff out,
transcribe stuff if you're lucky. Towards the end of the
second year, i'd be writing small stories about the weather
or you know, a bushfire or something. And then I

(15:04):
got a cadet ship and it was the best thing.
I moved to Sydney, I became, you know, an adult,
and the rest is history. I followed my dreams to
become a journalist and I've kind of winned it ever
since and somehow managed to still get to get to
where I am now.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
So in terms of what was happening with your mental health,
then you know, there is a lot of change and
going from you know, different different town. Canbra is one thing,
and you know that the hiddy heights of the Press
gallery for sure, but Sydney is a whole other kittle
of fish. So you mean you were still medicated at
this point.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
I haven't stopped being medicated since whatever year it was
in the nineties. I've changed my medication various times for
reasons with consultation with my doctor. And yeah, I moved
to Sydney and I still kept partying, I still kept
taking drugs, I still kept living the life, and my

(16:03):
mental health was bubbling along. I masked, and I masked
really well because I never really dealt with I went
from that crisis point at the beginning to twenty years
of masking and still not wanting to be alive but living,
and then crisis in my forties. What happened was when

(16:28):
you can't swear here, can you know? That's when things
got real again. I didn't end up in hospital. I
didn't try and attempt to take my life, but I
didn't care if I lived, and therefore I did everything
I could to abuse my body. I was talking to

(16:50):
Kyle offline before, and I still have this very, very
very addictive personality. When I did do drugs, I never
did drugs other than party drugs. But it was cocaine,
it was ecstasy, it was speed when I was at
Union because I couldn't afford any of the expensive stuff,
and it was I never got into marijuana. That never
agreed with me. I think I tried a bucket bong

(17:13):
once in high school, but that wasn't great. I've greened
out an alcohol. I would abuse that to the point
I would drink, binge, drink until I would pass out spewing,
or I would be the guy spending thousands of dollars

(17:33):
on cocaine.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
That's a hell of a pastime to have to keep up.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
With and how I did it a lot of money.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
In terms of now though, like you know where you're
at with your addictions now, I'm addicted to everything you're
still using. Don't use anything. I don't take drugs, I
don't drink alcohol. I am trying not to eat bad food.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
The problem is if I start something, I find it
very hard, very hard to stop. A Maca's chocolate thick shake.
I let myself have one the other day. Then I
found myself in two weeks I had three of them.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Oh god.

Speaker 4 (18:13):
So I.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
Have spent this weekend in New Zealand and I've spent
a lot of money on shopping. I'm addicted to shopping.
I'm addicted to so it's all about the dopamine hit.
It's about making myself feel better or feeling like I'm
wanted or needed or validated or something. I was addicted

(18:37):
to sex.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
In terms of actually though, being able to get those
addictions under some semblance of control, what was the process
that worked for you? What was the way that you
found was able to have a good outcome for yourself.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
I'm an all or nothing thing. So when I say
I'm an addict, I'd love Carles thoughts on this, But
when I'm an addict, I went to my GP at
a point and we can talk about that. But my
mum died and we went to the GP after I'd
abused myself for the next few years after that, and

(19:13):
that's when I was really spiraling. But the GP sat
me down and said, and it was a family intervention.
The GP said, you cannot drink and you cannot take drugs.
There are people out there that can. There are people
out there that you are able to moderate their behaviors.
You're not that person.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
And so.

Speaker 3 (19:35):
Was I an addict? Kyle, if I could stop immediately,
not go to rehab, no.

Speaker 4 (19:40):
Because actually, I mean the rehab is kind of like
the open heart surgery. It's how I sort of think
about it that actually we always do the least amount
of intervention that we need to to solve the problem.
That's kind of a pretty good rule of thumb. And
it sounds like, you know, what's also true is that
you still had a lot this left to loose, so
you know, you still had a life that was worth saving,

(20:00):
so you had lots of motivation to make change too.
And you know, we were talking about you know, if here,
you know the thing about being addicted to everything. As
you described it as kind of like, well, there's a
part of your personality that clearly when you want something,
you want it and it's hard not to have it.
That's a pretty distractive thing when you're doing drugs and
alcohol because there's no off button.

Speaker 5 (20:22):
Right.

Speaker 4 (20:23):
So it sounds like your gp' did a really good
job of actually timing the intervention as we would say
in the trade, and picking the moment where you were
motivated to make those changes.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
And not a good outcome for actually talking about why
going to your GP is important.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
Absolutely, I'm a massive advocate for good gps, and they're
hard to find. Not that gps are bad, but they're
hard to find the right one for you. And I
always say to people, please, I'm not a professional, but
go and find the right GP. Speed do some speed
dating and find the right one. Because my doctor saved

(20:57):
my life and.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
The same can be said for therapy as well. You know,
finding a counselor or the psychotherapist, the kyle that works
for you.

Speaker 3 (21:05):
So many people say to me, will that my therapist
did like them, didn't work for me, Great, that's fine,
Let's find you one that might work for you because
I guarantee you there will be one that will work
for you.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
So was it really just those words from the GP
and that was it? You could just turn it off.

Speaker 3 (21:23):
Turn things around. And I am clearly still a work
in progress, aren't we all? Yeah, I made a mistake. Recently,
I thought I was cured. I thought I was cured.
Recently I released the book. Thought, God, damn it, I've

(21:44):
released a book. It's really hard to get a book published,
in my opinion, by a publisher, to have a global release,
to have a book in bookstores, that's like WHOA. I
didn't get an ego about it, but I was like,
this is you got.

Speaker 4 (21:58):
It was a big deal.

Speaker 3 (21:59):
It was a big deal. And I put everything into
the book. There's no secrets in it. There is all
the warts that you can ever imagine. But I thought
that I because I have had so much therapy, I
am on medication, I don't I am not suicidal. I

(22:20):
have a lot of practices in place to ensure that
I can keep functioning in the best possible way. Like
I said before, I spent the majority of my life
not wanting to be alive, and I, for the most
part now want to be alive. I was in New Zealand,
actually here, and I'd finished my book tour and I

(22:44):
flew home to Sydney and I broke. This is only
a month or two ago, three months ago, two months ago.
And by breaking it was me going, I need to
pull the leather levers to get the help that I
need because I have passed the point that I could

(23:07):
go down a very dark path. So I recognized that
I made a crisis a point with my GP. Like
that day, I said, I need to see my psychologist
that week. I need to see my psychiatrist that week.
I need to look at my medications. Do I need
to up my medication immediately to help me through this stuff?

(23:31):
What am I doing? And that was a big realization
for me.

Speaker 4 (23:38):
And isn't it great that you knew to do that?

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Yes, but it absolutely scared the for Jesus out of me.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
So well, I mean you said that warts and all
are in the book, and I mean when I read
the back, it's kind of like, you know, it's about
your career, but then it's also about you, it's about
your mental health. What is it that you know? Putting
the book together, you were hoping you'd have as a
final product. You know, what were you hoping this would achieve.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
I'm seemingly sick, sucessful. I have lived an amazing, incredible life.
I have also hit my rock bottom it's different to
other people's rock bottom, and seemingly got through it to

(24:29):
want to live and be present. That's the point of
the book. Also understanding that, as the title suggests, we
are all mental. I'm all about using the word nutter,
using the word mental, because I think that it's quite
empowering for me to be able to own that and say, yeah,

(24:51):
I am, but so are you. You don't have to
be in therapy, you don't have to be on medication,
you don't have to be any of those things. But
we're all a little bit kooky and that ain't no
problem for me, because life would be boring if we
were if we weren't mental.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
Look absolutely agreed, And so I think at this point,
you know, we want to actually say that we'd like
to open up the calls tonight, and we have a
few copies of the book to actually give away, So
if you get your calls in, we're just going to
give them out randomly. I think basically, if Jmo goes,
great caller, here's a book. Yeah, I like everyone so well,

(25:32):
we might need some more copies of the book, but
we've got four more. Well, we've got four that will
give away tonight, So if you would like to potentially
have that, then I think the topic that we need
to talk about tonight is actually about responding to mental
health diagnosis. You know when when we actually do get
told that this is the thing. And for you it

(25:53):
was addictions. You know, you cannot be you cannot be
a drug user, a drinker.

Speaker 3 (25:59):
Like it was also why was I addicted to these things?
And why was I abusing myself? And why what was
I covering up? The other thing about the book is
and the reason I put everything in there is that
I'm not famous, but I have a profile in Australia
and I am a have a profile as a journalist

(26:21):
and interviewing all the biggest stars you can ever imagine.
And if I can fall to rock bottom, then so
can you. And I felt that if I don't put
everything in there, I would be lying to myself and
to others. So there's stuff in that book that I'd
never admitted to anyone. Sniffing petrol, doing all sorts of stuff,
not to do any harm to myself, but because it

(26:45):
was whatever it was. And I did all of these things,
and I never even admitted it to anyone, and I
find it. I'd forgotten that had happened, but I put
it in there. And I refuse to write the book
that publishers and other journalists and friends had told me
to write, and that was a really boring book. Celebrity

(27:07):
tell all right, So.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
Look what we want to hear from you tonight is
you know your experiences worth the mental health diagnosis? What
is it that you responded? You know when what JMO's
talked about tonight is actually knowing through the through the diagnosis,
knowing then what you need when the symptoms start showing themselves.
And I think that is a critical part of being

(27:30):
able to understand our mental health is knowing when we
actually need to up the up the nty go and
do the work. In New Zealand. Another way we say
this is do the mahi ma he's marty for work.
So that's another way of putting it. But the whole
point is actually having that insight in the in the
in the first place. Otherwise, like you've said, it's it

(27:51):
can be a roller coaster, but it's actually coming off
the track somewhat.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
You know what it is though it's really bloody hard
when you don't even admit to yourself that you need
to do the work. And I've lied to myself a lot.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
And a diagnosis can sometimes make it real, right, because
there's actually something which you are falling into. And it's
not about putting labels on, is it, Kyle. It's actually
about being able to give a bit of assured direction
of anything.

Speaker 4 (28:17):
No, I mean, I often say diagnosis. A diagnosis is
only as useful as the fact that it points to
a treatment plan. So you know, any diagnosis will hopefully
give you a really clear idea of what you need
to do to solve the problem with it's medication or talking,
hopefully both. But it starts to day out a map.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
Someone here, they just text and j moo and they said, look,
I've got an addictive personality. I haven't done drugs or
touched alcohol for twenty six years. However, currently I've got
a bad relationship with after pay. And if you don't
know after pay, that's the I can relate.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
I just said, I spent the whole weekend in New
Zealand shopping. I spent a lot of money this weekend
on shopping. I bought Laboo Boos that I don't need.
It's a trend at the moment, and yeah I get it.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
La Boo Boos for people who don't know.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
They are a little toy that people hang on their bags.
Basically really ugly and they originated by a in China
through PopMart Is. The owner of PopMart is a multi
multi billionaire. It's from an artist called Kaisan le Ling.
And yeah, there's this little toy that has no purpose

(29:26):
in it at all and they just hang on your bag.
But people like them, and they're hard to get, and
they prey on people's need or desire for a dope
mein hit by limiting the number of them, but also
making that secret in the box or you don't know
what one you're going to get, so you get the
adrenaline of what am I getting in that box, which

(29:48):
is not great for people like me, because then I
buy the whole box if I can.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Karen says here that was a great interview. In my
early thirties, I had a psychotic breakdown and went years undiagnosed.
Finally I was committed and diagnosed as psychotic and mitigated.
It turned my life around and with an eighteen months
I had an awesome job. I held the job until
I retired. I worked on my mental health and now

(30:15):
only need half the dosage of meds I normally had
to take. Today, I'm involved in the mental health group
in Wellington called Amigos Amazing. I still have psychosis, but
my life is no longer ruined by it.

Speaker 3 (30:28):
Can I just say one thing.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
One thing that's certain, and you're not allowed to say
anything the.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
Rest of the show. I just want to say one
thing that really helped me at the earlier stage but
even now, is that my doctor said to me that
I had multiple things going on, chemical imbalance, So this
was a chemical thing going on for me, So it
was there. And I also had trauma a lot of
trauma from being abused and things that had happened in life.

(30:54):
Those two things coming together are kind of catastrophic but
also liberating and knowing that, yeah, does that make sense?

Speaker 4 (31:04):
It makes complete sense. And I mean, I guess the
thing is and we didn't really get back to it,
but you said that, you know, one of the things
you said, Jamo, when you were in the hospital the
first time, was it you You didn't talk about it
and you didn't want to talk about it, but eventually
obviously you talked about it.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
Yeah, And you.

Speaker 4 (31:19):
Know we can medicate the you know, the genetic historical
bit that but that you describe as the chemical bit.
You know you have mental illness mood disorders in your family.
But when it comes to trauma, what we know works
for that is talking.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
And I do a lot of talking about it offline.
We're talking about some therapy I've been having recently, and
it's been really intense, but I walk out of the
sessions and have been feeling a million bucks because we've
been getting to the roots of it and and it's
and it's great every time. A lot of times I'll
go into therapy and think, oh, this is going to

(31:54):
be a nightmare. I don't have anything to talk about.
And I guarantee you every time I come, I go
through the hour or whatever, and I do not stop talking.

Speaker 4 (32:04):
But are rule of thumb. Whenever a client turns up
and says I've got nothing to talk about, those are
wizard by sessions.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
Every session I say that, well, let's go back to
the lines. We've got Louise here. Louise, good morning to you.

Speaker 5 (32:18):
Oh, good morning, Hamish, Kyle and Jamo. Yeah. When I
was listening to your story, I'm medicated, so I don't
have a huge amount of emotional you know, I was
actually really moved listening to your story. It's just at me.

(32:39):
I don't know, it's somewhere you know that's me, and
I was going to take it back. I've been listening
to these stories for ages years and this is the
first time this has happened, so I can really relate
to it. Congratulations on being so you know, having enough counting,

(33:02):
enough awareness now to get out of it, you know,
out of the addiction part of it. I don't. I
haven't had too many problems with that, but I do
my go beneath it. I admit that I had a
we have a tendency in my family called depression and anxiety,

(33:22):
and I've had a couple of nervous breakdowns as a teenager.
And then I thought, oh, well, I think I'll just drink.
So you know, but drinking works quite well for a while,
doesn't it, to get were with pain? And yeah, then
I had to doze in specks and rock and Roll

(33:44):
had a great time for a while. But in the
early thirties, I decided I had to deal with the stuff,
so I went to lots of counseling phytosy for you
name it was. I had to divorce my husband because
when you were talking about you were a really addictive personality.

(34:07):
My husband was like that. He just he just couldn't stop,
you know, he just couldn't stop for anything. He's about
having sex and who knows what any woman, you know,
I'm drinking until he passed out, drugging't take many for

(34:27):
the drug that was offered. It was just like living
in hell, really, and I could see the the person
that he really was underneath that that. Unfortunately, he then
progressed to abusing my daughter's and it was so it's
got really messy, and yeah, it's just it's just such

(34:52):
a just would you think that you've got a handle
on it, It hits you again. There's another bit of
the onion to feel, you know, well.

Speaker 4 (35:04):
Having feelings isn't the same as not having a handle
on it though, And I think, you know, we've talked
a lot over the last few years on the show,
and I think, actually, what I what I heard you say,
was it actually Jamo's story already touched you and you
know it's okay, it's okay to have feelings about it.

Speaker 5 (35:21):
Oh yeah, yeah, I know that. Yeah, I know that,
It's just it just took me by surprise.

Speaker 6 (35:26):
Yeah, yeah, respecting it.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
But also, Louise, I just wanted to say, you know,
congratulations to You should be incredibly proud of what you've
been able to do because standing up to you know,
abusive people and especially people you're in a relationship with
and kids, you know, that is really really hard. And
yet you did it, and you can look back now

(35:51):
on that, on that challenging time and know that you know,
you did what was needed, not just for yourself, for
other people as well.

Speaker 5 (35:59):
Oh yeah, yeah, I don't know how I got through that.
So I don't know how I actually survived. It was
either me or him. Someone's done die.

Speaker 2 (36:07):
If I'd say, well, I think I know how you
got through it. You got through it because you're an
awesome person.

Speaker 5 (36:13):
Yeah, well, he died of the addiction.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
Yeah, well that's it. But he didn't he didn't take
you with him. You know, that was that was his choice,
and he could have had he could have done things
differently you.

Speaker 5 (36:25):
Did, didn't and did? I just feel for my girls
about you know, oh for sure.

Speaker 6 (36:32):
You know they lost their.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Father really yeah, absolutely had they never had him mate,
But you know they've got They've got mum that they
can talk to about that because Mum did what needed
to be done. Hey, Louise, well well done. And I'm
just gonna I'm just going to look at Gemo and
just be like I think, I think we're sending Luis
to book.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
I'm really touched by you by your words. To Louise,
it actually means more than I can express in my
own words to hear that you're I just want to
say that I sometimes feel like an impostor, and I
think that we all do. And so coming on here
and getting that validation from someone that goes, hey yeah

(37:14):
I can, I can relate to your story is why
I wrote this book and why I have done it.
And so before I get emotional, I just want to
say thank you for sharing that with me, and and
I just wish you every beautiful moment with your gorgeous
girls and just all the love and the light and

(37:37):
the things. So yes, I would love you to have
a book.

Speaker 5 (37:40):
Oh Thank you, James, and good luck to you Joe.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
Okay, Loise, So look, you just stay on the line,
don't hang up. I'm going to put you back to Boris.
He'll get your he'll get your address, and then we'll
get the book set out to here this week. All right,
thanks as talk. So yeah, I've got a couple more
texts here. This one's it needs a nice short one
from Bob. Bob says, greetings, We're all just visitors on
this planet. If there is a god, it doesn't communicate

(38:06):
very well. That's where you guys step in. Keep up
the good work, Bob, cheers Bob. Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 3 (38:15):
I love that. I don't know what's up there, down there,
wherever they are, but that's a beautiful way to look
at life.

Speaker 4 (38:22):
To work on his communication skills, don't we all? She does?

Speaker 2 (38:25):
Or do they do well? I mean interestingly? Because then
Phil has texted him with a question for you and says, hey, Jmo,
welcome to New Zealand. I was just wondering, did any
type of religion help you and or might help you
with your story? Phil?

Speaker 3 (38:41):
Yeah, Phil, Phil, I am not religious, but I have
found faith over recent years. I went to a yoga
retreat in Romania, of all places, and I can't cross
my legs. But a girlfriend rang me and said do
you want to go?

Speaker 6 (39:01):
Rang me?

Speaker 3 (39:02):
And so do you want to come with me to
Romania to go on this retreat? And I said absolutely
hell no and hung up the phone, sat there for
five minutes and went, that's why I should do it.
I called her back and said, let's go to Romania.
So I went and did the retreat and we did yoga,
and we did breathing and we did all of that stuff.
And so phil I believe in energy, and I don't

(39:25):
know if if there is a god, but I believe
that there is something, a power, a something that is there,
that is there, and yes, that helps me. My mum,
who died sixteen years ago, I think she's guiding me too.

Speaker 4 (39:45):
Fantastic and didn't only you probably know this was a
ton of research about yoga and mental health. It's really
good stuff.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
I need to get back into it. I'm also riddled
with arthritis.

Speaker 4 (39:54):
And you don't have to do the gym thing, you know,
you don't have to do the hard out yoga. It's
actually good. Tool's fine too.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
I'm not going to I love the year yoga. We
have to sit in it and you have to sit
in a posture, and they say that it could make
you cry. I just I just love it, the breathing
and the yeah it's beautiful.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
Well, I mean I think you know, when it comes
to when it comes to spirituality and faith, you know
that can look very different and come and represent itself
in so many different ways.

Speaker 5 (40:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
Absolutely, and so I always think about that, you know,
for me, some of those some of those spiritual moments,
if you like, I have those all the time, when
you know, out in nature where you're just kind of
there and you're kind of going, wow, this is just
incredible and it feels so overwhelming. I think, you know
growing up but Mainlanders North Islanders you won't. You won't
get this car, but Mainlanders will understand. Is there is

(40:48):
something about standing, you know, with with the you know,
the mountain ranges all around you and it's not man made,
it's it's just the natural world, and you do you
feel like really small and quite insignificant and yet also
too just so connected to the beauty of what's around you.
So it's different for different folk, but it's there.

Speaker 3 (41:08):
I volunteer for a nature a wildlife charity called Wires
out of Sydney, and I specialize in possums. And I
know that's controversial to stay here and said, and snakes
also controversial for here, but I rescue them. And there
is something deeply beautiful about putting ego aside, putting anything

(41:29):
else aside that's going on in your brain, and having
to focus on just feeding this baby animal or adult animal.
That's really nice. I'm also a religion thief. When I
travel around the world, I steal bits of everything and
I put them in my head and my little toolkit
and I go, yeah, I really like that bit. Oh,
I really like that. And so I don't know what

(41:50):
I am, but I'm equally respectful of all of them
and whatever your faith is. And good luck to here.

Speaker 4 (41:57):
Well, like we often say on the show, whatever works.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Right, Let's get back to the lines. Neil, good morning
to you.

Speaker 6 (42:08):
Past midnight.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
It is past midnight now because of daylight saving Neil.

Speaker 5 (42:14):
Wow.

Speaker 6 (42:15):
And I haven't brushed my hair one hundred times yet.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
Anywhere there still Well. Look, I won't tell anyone, Neil
to tell you what even though you haven't done brushed
you here, you're still looking great.

Speaker 6 (42:26):
Saha, with your permission, and I'd just like to share
a bit of my story that might just be relevant.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
We'd love to hear it, Neil, go for it.

Speaker 6 (42:38):
Mental health condition, Now I can't always bring you because
I'm not always compassmentous because I have a bit of
Alzheimer dementia. But I'm good tonight, so I'm passing the dimension.
It does have a lot of challenges, to tell you
the truth. I've also been diagnosed with cancer, and that's

(43:01):
all right, and I take a lot of pain tablets
and I find joying that because I think, thank you,
thank you that it's me and not ma'am my wife.
I call her ma'am because I can handle the pain
and I couldn't bear to see her. And so maybe

(43:25):
I'm a bit of a candidate for depression, but I'm
honestly and I'm truly not. There is so much loveliness
and beauty all around me. My family. I love them
daily and it's wonderful. And I also have my faith.

Speaker 7 (43:46):
And so.

Speaker 6 (43:48):
That lady that rang before, what a hero, What a wonderful,
wonderful lady. And I would like, with your time permission,
to say to all your callers who call to share,
maybe get advice and support. God bless you all. Look

(44:10):
for the beauty and don't forget to be kind to yourself.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
Absolutely, Neil, you are an absolute highlight of the show.
Or you really are, and you light up our evenings
when you call in on a Sunday night or Monday morning.
So thank you so much for being being able to
do that for us.

Speaker 6 (44:31):
I'm all sure the proud owner of a Nutter's jacket.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
Well, look I'm getting I'm getting a hand signal from Jamo.
I think you might be about to be the proud
owner of a copy of his book Mental as anyone?
Would you like a book? Would that work for you?

Speaker 6 (44:47):
How incredibly kind? How incredibly kind? Well?

Speaker 3 (44:52):
Can I ask you a question? It's Jamo here. I
just want to give you a hug for a start.
I just think you're deliciously lovely, and I just want
to ask you a question, given that you're not someone
that is prone to depression, what drives you to listen
to the Noters Club each week?

Speaker 7 (45:12):
Because sorry, I've lost your name, Sir Jonathan Jamo. Jamo,
Because Jmo, it is only very occasionally that I can
ring the nutters club, because I'm usually in a bit
of a fog and I don't know which ways up,

(45:32):
and I find that the people who ring, the beautiful,
beautiful people who ring, and.

Speaker 6 (45:39):
The response from the host sou's names I can't remember,
but who I like very very much, help me. And
when I can ring, Jamo, I do because I want
to verbelize, verbelize my appreciation and thanks.

Speaker 3 (46:01):
Yeah, well you're a beautiful man. You're a beautiful man, Neil.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
Neil, thank you for your kind kind words. Somebody here
yeah said Hi, guys, well done, Jmo, what a life?
And you survived? Any tools on stopping meth. I'm sixty
one and told at forty two years old I had
ADHD by my doctors. I've used myths since nineteen ninety eight.

(46:25):
Take care, Thank you guys. So when it comes to
a long time meth addiction, where do you start?

Speaker 4 (46:31):
Cole Well, I mean I often say with addictions that
you know, everyone wants to do the least amount of
treatment that they can get away with to solve the problem.
So start at the beginning. Talk to your GP, talk
to cads, maybe try ina arcotics anonymous. You know these
are things you can do once a week. My guess

(46:51):
is you probably tried a number of those things, but
you know there are also rehab services around that you
can go and stay for, you know, sort of a
month or you know, twenty eight days being the cliche,
but you know, even just a couple of weeks can
be enough to give you a break. But also, if
you have had a diagnosis of ADHD, you feel like
you are self medicating, it's really worth actually considering going

(47:12):
and talking to a psychiatrist openly about how you've been
using the medicai, the drug to medicate yourself, because it
might be worth exploring actually being prescribed one of the
pharmaceuticals for ADHD that does actually work for some people
when it comes to getting off me.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
Text to here Seys tex Well text to here Sees Hi, guys,
I identify with a number of symptoms of a certain
health condition, but my health professional has determined that I
don't fit the criteria for a formal diagnosis. I still
experience the symptoms, but now my path forward feels not
as clear am I'm and I'm unable to be part

(47:48):
of the community of sufferers of the condition of which
I've just been cleared of. This makes me feel lonely.
Any advice for those in my position.

Speaker 4 (47:57):
Well, the first thing I would say is get a
second opinion. You know that, whether that's seeing another GP
or potentially seeing another specialist. Doctors are people. You know,
they don't always get it right, and you know the
other option, of course, is that you know, depending on
the condition. But lots of people self identify, and you
know a diagnosis. Diagnosis is not necessarily a certificate or

(48:21):
a degree. It doesn't have to be bestowed upon you
by someone. If you find yourself struggling with the problems
that the thing causes, there's no reason why you can't
actually get the support too.

Speaker 3 (48:30):
Can I just read a text that I got the
other day for our sixty one year old friend. I
didn't get their name, but that asked about meth.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
No, there was no name on the text, but you
go for it. I read you.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
I got a text the other day, if you're still
listening from my old housemate who I've known for twenty years,
and he sent me a message saying, six years clean
and sober today. I'm deeply ashamed of I was six
years ago and how unwell I became. And you experienced
the worst of my behavior and integrity. I hope my
new life is somewhat of a living amends to you
and everyone in my life. Kiss Kiss, Gosh.

Speaker 4 (49:03):
That was a good text to get lovely, miss.

Speaker 3 (49:05):
Because my mate was d plea deeply into meth and
I was thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars in
out of pocket because of that. He was living with
me and it was a very tough time. My response
to him, I don't know if this gives you any thoughts,

(49:28):
but I wrote, my dear friend, you should be immensely
proud of the work you've done. Try not to feel shame,
but pride in the amazing steps you've taken to get
well and be this wonderful version of yourself. We both
have hit bottom. There is no judgment, just stories we
can tell each.

Speaker 4 (49:44):
Other when we are old nice.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
Just want you to hear that. I don't know if
that helps, It's just my thoughts. Maybe one day in
six years time, you'll be texting someone and saying thanks
for being there.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
It always reminds me and I always hold onto this
really tight. Is that you know people's ability to actually
affect positive change in your life as without limitation you
know when anyone ever tells you that you know, oh well,
you know you've been on myth too long. You know
you've been on it since ninety eighth. You know it's
you can't do it? Well why not? Why not with

(50:19):
the right kind of support, with the right kind of
self belief which you've actually got to grow for yourself,
anything's possible. Change you can do. Doesn't mean it's going
to be easy, but it will be worth it.

Speaker 3 (50:29):
Sounds like this person is willing to. They're at a
point where they want to. They're really asking and saying, hey,
I'm ready, so carp A DM.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
Well look I'll tell you what to The text are
just saying, keep in touch with us. If you know,
you do find that you're getting yourself into some kind
of treatment, then let us know. And if not, then
keep coming back to us as well. We'll be here
to support as we are every week. Hey, look on
that notes to this point that I have to say
to our guests tonight, Jonathan, thank you so much for

(51:01):
being here. JMO. Has been wonderful to have you be
part of this our Nutters Club this week, and all
the best for all of your future writing. Nobody. If
you didn't hear it again. The book as mental as anyone.
It's available where all good books are sold. Thanks for
being here.

Speaker 3 (51:16):
The pleasure was all mine. I can't oh sorry, I
thought the music was cut pumping through there. The pleasure
was all mine. In fact, this is one of the
greatest moments of my life. Right now, I feel beyond thrilled.

Speaker 2 (51:27):
You're far too grand.

Speaker 3 (51:28):
You're very grateful for this opportunity to have been here
and to have shared in all these stories.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Well that's it for this episode of The Nutters Club.
Thanks to our guest Jonathan Jamo Moran psychotherapist Carl MacDonald,
as well as all our brilliant callers and equally awesome texters.
If you liked what you heard and think it might
help someone out there, then please share this episode on
your own channels or with family and friends. And if

(51:57):
you ever want to be part of the show, then
just give us a call or a text when we
broadcast live on News Talk seed B eleven pm Sunday nights,
New Zealand standard time. Check out News Talk said B
for local frequencies or a link to the live stream.
A big thanks to New Zealand on Air for their
ongoing support in making the show. Take care and always

(52:20):
remember the world is a better place with you in it.
Life isn't easy, that is, however.

Speaker 4 (52:26):
Worth it.

Speaker 1 (52:31):
For more from news Talk said B, listen live on
air or online, and keep our shows with you wherever
you go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio