December 11, 2025 • 43 mins
Hamish Williams, host of The Nutters Club on Newstalk ZB, recently welcomed the show’s producer, Boris Sokratov, to share his personal journey of battling two rare forms of cancer. The episode, which aired on Sunday night, focused on the intersection of physical health challenges and mental resilience.
Boris revealed that his health struggles began in 2023 when he underwent two surgeries for a rare condition called perianal Paget’s disease, a form of cancer that typically affects the breast but had manifested in his lower body. Initially misdiagnosed as a skin rash, the condition was identified through a biopsy. Despite undergoing surgery, a follow-up colonoscopy in early 2024 revealed another rare and aggressive cancer: small cell neuroendocrine carcinoma. With a proliferation rate of 60%, Boris described the cancer as “cunning, fast-moving, and aggressive.”
Faced with a daunting prognosis, Boris candidly shared how he prepared for the possibility of death, drawing strength from his late mother’s approach to her own terminal cancer diagnosis. He emphasised the importance of maintaining a positive mindset, setting goals, and staying active. “Be careful with your thoughts, because as you think, so you become,” Boris said, highlighting the role of mental resilience in his journey.
Boris also discussed the physical toll of his treatment, which included intense chemotherapy and radiation therapy. Despite the challenges, he maintained his sense of humor, referring to his treatment as a “chemo and radiation cocktail adventure.” He also shared how he kept himself busy by cooking, cleaning, and completing household projects to avoid dwelling on his diagnosis.
Throughout the episode, Boris encouraged listeners to confront the fear and stigma surrounding cancer. “A diagnosis of cancer does not mean an automatic death sentence,” he said, urging people to ask questions, stay informed, and maintain hope. He also revealed that he is writing a book about his experience, humorously titled Pricked, Prodded, and Probed, to inspire others facing similar challenges.
The episode resonated with listeners, including Neil and Carol, who called in to share their own experiences with cancer. Both emphasised the importance of staying positive, keeping busy, and expressing gratitude. Boris’s story, coupled with the callers’ insights, served as a powerful reminder of the strength of the human spirit in the face of adversity.
The Nutters Club airs live every Sunday at 11 p.m. on NewstalkZB, offering a platform for open conversations about mental health and personal resilience.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
You're listening to a podcast from news Talk said B.
Follow this and our wide range of podcasts now on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Greetings and welcome. I'm Hamish Williams and you're listening to
the podcast version of The Nutters Club, a radio show
about mental health broadcast weekly on Newstalk shad B. Each
week we speak with people about their mental health experiences
in the hope that it might help you with your own.
The show is broadcast live on Sunday nights on Newstalk
(00:41):
said B right across New Zealand and around the world.
This week, I was joined by the producer of The
Nutters Club, Boris Sokratov. In early twenty twenty four, Boris
was given a diagnosis for a rare type of cancer
that had many medical experts guessing as to what was
the best course of treatment. With chemotherapy and radiation therapy
(01:04):
being applied, Boris found that the approach to managing his
mental health help to move through the cancer experience. Let
us know what you think about our conversation with Boris,
as well as what you learn from our chat with
them on any of our social media platforms. Just search
for The Nutters Club NZ let's get into this week's episode.
(01:24):
You had an incredible hell to climb in the form
of a really tough cancer diagnosis.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
That's correct.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Tell us a little bit about it, so in terms
of what were you diagnosed with and when and what
did the prognosis look like?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Okay, Well, in twenty twenty three, I had two surgeries
in a place where the sun don't shine for a
very rare condition called perianal Paget's disease. All right, Now,
(02:03):
Paget disease usually presents in a female old breast, not
in a male's rare end Okay, So a lot of
people would be very uncomfortable talking about these things. However,
I'm not because it's all part of life. And the
issue was I thought I had what I would call
(02:26):
a problematic hemorrhoid a pile, okay, And I went to
my doctor who also thought it may be that. But
I had a colonoscopy coming up, so I had my
(02:47):
cholorectal surgeon take a look at it. And these are
all terms that you have to learn all about. And
he also on first look, thought it was something that
looked like a skin rash, so he gave me a cream.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
It turned out to be a hell of a lot
more than just a skin rash, and you ended up
having a very very rare diagnosis made for you well.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
As a result. Fortunately, he biopside it and it came
back positive for that form of Paget's disease. And here's
the thing about Paget's disease. Because it presents like exma
usually in a female breast, it gets misdiagnosed and people
(03:40):
it won't go away, and by the time it gets
correctly diagnosed, it's usually often too late. It's a well
advanced cancer. But fortunately for me, they were able to
the first surgery, they actually missed a bit, so they
had to go back in and take out a second
And so in November twenty twenty three, my wife, sorry,
(04:07):
I had a colonoscopy and it showed that everything was gone.
And in March of twenty twenty four, or only four
months later, my wife said I needed to have a
follow up colonoscopy. Now, I said, why do I need
(04:28):
to have one of those? Sorry, that was in twenty
twenty four. Four, Yes, that's right, Yeah, that's right. Why
do I need to have one of those? And she
said to me because you do, and I'm going, well,
I don't think I do, so she wouldn't be safe. Well,
(04:49):
we were supposed to be going to Europe for the
l you know, overseas trip, and I didn't want to
get it because I said might ruin the trip. And
she said, well, if you don't, I won't come to
Europe with you, and me being me, I said, well
in that case, I'll go without you.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Okay, but you changed your mind.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well only after she came back and said, look, we've
got a lot on and she's quite right, I'm involved
in a lot of other things apart from the radio show.
If you wait a year, I'll come, And so I
conceded it and thought yeah, because I don't really want
to go without her. And I had that cholnoscopy and
(05:34):
the results took four weeks to come back, and then
when they did come back, I had that they came
back positive for another very rare condition called small cell
neuroendocrine carcinoma. And between me getting those results back in
(06:01):
me starting chemotherapy and radiation was two weeks. That's rocket pace.
Because the thing about small cell neuroendocrine carcinoma, and this
is the thing you become an expert in all.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Of this stuff.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Shall we cush me? It's a very variety that I've
had is a very cunning, fast moving and aggressive cancer. Now,
when I say cunning, fast moving and aggressive, here's what
I mean. The simplest metric is a thing called the
proliferation rate, the speed at which the cancer cell spread. Now,
(06:35):
a proliferation rate of twenty percent at stage three cancer
is considered high. My proliferation rate was sixty percent, and
I was just starting and I had no symptoms of
any cancer whatsoever. So with odds like that, you kind
(06:56):
of think not too much chance that I would actually survive.
And so, to be honest with your Hamish, I was
preparing to die.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Mental health show, and tonight we're talking about your experience
with cancer. Why are we talking about this when it
comes to mental health?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Simply because I want to help remove a lot of
the fear and the anxiety that people have around talking
about cancer and help and that people have talking to
people who have had a diagnosis of cancer. There's a
lot of There is a lot of fear and a
lot of anxiety. And if we don't talk about these things,
(07:44):
then you'll never know you'll never be able to understand
and you'll constantly be living with.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Fear when you get that diagnosis. And as you put it,
you prepared to think, well, the odds are stacked against
me when it comes to this. It's very unlikely that
I'm going to say, you know, I'm preparing that I
might I might die. How does it feel when you
actually confronted your own mortality for yourself?
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Well, I confronted my own mortality a very long time ago, Amish.
You know, I've always known from an early age I
was surrounded by a lot of death. And my mother
was very good at bringing us as kids to because
I'm a Bulgarian Mary, I went to a lot of
(08:35):
tangy right, and so from a young age we saw
a lot of the rituals around death and dying, and
we saw that some people actually it was quite a
celebration of life for some people. Other people feared it
(08:56):
and they weren't very wasn't very comfortable to be around them.
In my particular case, I guess I took a leaf
out of my mother's rule book, because my also died
from cancer, and her journey from her diagnosis to when
she died was three months, and unlike a lot of people,
(09:22):
I didn't go, oh, my goodness, we've only got three months.
I went, Wow, fantastic, We've got three months to do
the most amazing things.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
All right.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
I also, however, did approach it quite differently.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Now.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
When our GP, my mum's GP, phoned me to tell
me about my mum's cancer, this is when I began
the process of understanding the words that we use are
really important, and we're very careful with how we choose
to use words on this show in particular. Now I'm
going to give you an example here that GP phoned me,
(10:01):
and this was his opening line, There's something sinister happening
that's interesting. But because I know how to ask questions,
I said, what does that mean? He said to me
there are secondaries everywhere. Now again, because I know what
secondaries mean, I still asked the question where are they?
(10:22):
And he said, through the back of her brain, through
her lungs, down through her liver, into her stomach and
luck and into her bones. Now I know that means effectively,
it's over for her, all right. And I was working
in an office at that stage, and an advertising agency,
(10:47):
and I just I said to him have you told her?
And he said no. I said, do you want me
to do it? He said yes, and I went, actually,
it is better that I do this, And so I
hung up the phone and I just started crying, all right,
and everybody was coming up to me and saying, what's happening,
what's going on? And I said, I just have to
go and tell my mother that she's dying. And so
(11:10):
I got in the car and I drove from Kyber
Pass where the ad agency was, to Gleanness. When my
mother lived in a state house and it was the
middle it was February, and it was stinking hot, and
my mother wasn't there, and I thought, where are you woman?
This is ridiculous. You know you're dying and you're out.
(11:31):
So I had to sit there in the sun waiting
for my mother to come home. And when she did,
she came home with my youngest sister. My youngest sister
lived with mum. And for the first time when she
got out of that car, I looked at my mother
and I thought, wow, you look old, you look old.
And she was on a walking stick and I'd never
seen my mom on a walking stick. And she looked
(11:53):
at me and she said to me, what's wrong with you? Son?
And I went, oh, my goodness, there you are. You're dying,
you know you are, and your first thoughts are for me. Now,
what I forgot to say was once i'd phoned that,
once I had that conversation with that doctor, I always
get a second opinion. So I found my wife, who
(12:14):
at that time was working at Auckland Hospital, and I said,
this is what I've been told. Do you mind going
down to the oncology department and checking these results? She did,
and then she called me back. Now, listen to the
difference in what she said to me. She phoned me back,
and this is how she started. Her opening line was
I want you to know that there's always hope, sinister
(12:36):
to hope. I kind of like this. The next thing
she said, though, was I need to tell you, though,
everything that you have been told is correct. And I went,
that's good. So the next thing, again, because I'm a
meticulous planner, Hamish, I'm pretty sure you know that, I
said to her, how much time have we got? Again,
(12:58):
listen to what she said. She said to me, there
aren't You can never have any certainties in these matters,
And I went, Wow, that's a pretty good answer. But
I now how to ask questions in order to get
the information that I need to be able to make decisions.
So I said to her, based on your experience when
(13:18):
a prognosis like this presents itself, what's the time frame?
So I've effectively backed her into the court, into a corner.
And that's when she said, well, if you put it
like that, three months. So I'm now having in this situation.
I'm at my mother's place. We go into the house,
(13:39):
sitting around her kitchen table, Me on one side, my
youngest sister on the other side, my mom to my right,
and I'm thinking, how do you do this? How do
you do this? And one thing that I've learned is
that when the moments upon you, the words come. And
my mom and I, when I was a kid, used
(13:59):
to have a couple of signals. If Mom needed to
talk to me about anything that was really important, she
would say she would get up early in the morning,
I start rattling pots and pans. That meant boris, get
out of bed, We've got a talk. In my case,
I would say, we need to have a cup of
tea because I don't drink. To your coffee, but I
drink to your coffee with other people to put them
(14:22):
at ease. So I said to mom, I said to
my younger sister, would you mind getting us a cup
of tea? So she gets up to get a cup
of tea, and then I looked at Mum and I went,
how do you do this? How do you do this?
Start with the small stuff, and I said, Mum, how
have you been feeling? And she said to me, apart
(14:44):
from my arthritis, I've been doing okay. And I went,
that's my end. And I looked at her and I said, Mum,
it's not arthritis, You've got cancer. And I've just started
bawling again. She looked at me and then she said
three things. The first thing she said was, Mum's not
(15:04):
going anywhere in a hurry. That's pretty good. Second thing,
we're going to take every day one day at a time.
And the third thing, you need to stop your blubbering
because when Mum sees you like this, it hurts her.
So I'm looking at this situation going you're dying and
your yrk thoughts are about me, so you're raising me up.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
So look in the end, what happened borislide. Did she
make the next three months?
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Three months to the day. But everywhere we went, I
never allowed anybody to talk about a time frame or
a deadline, because I believe you know, they're called deadlines
for a reason.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
People worked with them. So when you got your diagnosis,
did you know what was different this time around for you?
I mean, did you be like, well, well that's it,
I've I've got a few months left, they guess I'll
make the most of it. Did you have a big,
a big emotional response. What was different when it came
to you?
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Well, in my case, it's slow different from me because
my wife's a doctor. Okay, it's helpful in a scenario
it is. It also makes it worse for her though, Okay.
So my wife came home and my doctor is another
(16:28):
doctor in the same practice, Okay, And so the results
had come in and she got to see she got
to see them. So when she came through the door
at home, and I was getting to get quite tired then,
and I was asleep on the couch and she came
(16:50):
in and I woke up and I saw her, and
I saw her face, and I said, what's wrong with you?
And she just burst out crying. And then, of course,
because of my mother's experience, guess what I said to
my wife. I said this same three things that my
mother had said to me.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Boris isn't going anywhere. It's right, We're going to take
every day at a time, yep. And you've got to
stop crying because when you do, it hurts.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Borus correct, all right. And then what we did is
we went into action action mode in terms of making
a plan about what would happen, what was going to
happen next, and the tests that I needed to get done,
the oncologists that I needed to see, the radioation people
(17:41):
that I needed to see, the CT scan, the MRI
scan that I needed to get done, and I have
to learn all of this stuff within a few days, okay,
because we're going to have to make some decisions. And
there was some of my results got lost and I
(18:04):
had to get my I can't remember if it was
the MRI or the ct SKI and the one that
you do we become radioactive. I had to get that
done twice, which isn't a lot of fun. And then
we sat down and talked with the oncologist and he
said to me, there's no protocol to how to treat you.
(18:29):
When I said, why, he goes, well, you know, in
the last sixty years in the United States, there's only
been sixty recorded cases of what I've got. And then
if you take the other rare condition that I have,
then you add this rare condition eight point five billion
people in the world. You're lucky if five people in
(18:51):
the world have ever had what I've had. So they said,
what we're going to do is basically throw everything at you,
which meant that my chemo was the harsh chemo drugs
that you could have a combination. I call it my radiation,
(19:17):
my chemo and radiation cocktail adventure. All right, My chemo
some days was seven and a half hours of a
thing called a top of side cisplatin, and then after
my first cycle of it three days three days on,
(19:40):
and then on the fourth day, my wife would have
to give me an injection of white cell stimulant. Because
the broad spectrum drench, as I call it, kills everything,
the good cells and the not so good cells, So
you have to be very careful about catching an infection.
So I had to keep away from a lot of people.
After my first treatment, I came home. I was driving
(20:04):
up past Forest Hill Road because we live on the
north Shore, and I saw a and I thought, you
know what, Hamish, I'm going to run half a dozen laps.
So I ran half a dozen laps of the park
and when I got home, I did a whole lot
of exercises and I said to myself, I'm going to
do this all the way through. After my second round
(20:24):
of chema, I thought, maybe all I can do is
four laps after my third round of chema, because that's
when they started the radiation, and I had twenty five
consecutive days of radiation. So I called my rear end
getting barbecued to a crisp. That's when I decided, you know,
(20:47):
maybe all I can do is walk the dog. And
what I started doing was making sure that the house
was painted, that the decks were done, that my will
was in order. You know, those are the kind of
things that's just me in case I wasn't there, And
I talked to my best friends and other friends to
(21:13):
say to them, look, if I don't make it, would
you look after my wife? And now say, it's just
what I do.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You know, Look, it's a funny thing, isn't it. Because
when you say cancer, it has all kinds of different
implications for people and in terms of how they react
to it. And for instance, in my household, you know,
it's God, she's asleep, she won't hear this. My wife
hates it. If there's a story, like a cancer story
(21:41):
on the TV, or there's something about you know, eat
too much bacon and you'll get cancer, or you know,
the crops up in the news all the time, and
so actually it can become a really scary word for
people and something that you know, unless it's a lot
of fear, because ultimately, let's be honest, we probably all
know someone that we've lost to cancer, right, so this
(22:02):
is the connotation that holds. And so when you're talking
to me about you know, you know, come on, wife's
support on it, and we got a plan together, and
I did this and I did that. But what was
the conversation you were having with yourself, because to me,
that would be actually really important and how you're actually
going to approach cancer. What is it you know, when
(22:25):
does no one else around, when you're in that quiet
moment when you're feeling tired and you're wondering about the
future of the unknown, what were you telling yourself?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Well, you see hermish. That's one of the things I
didn't allow myself to have too many quiet moments solitary
because I said to myself, I'm going to cook all
the meals. You know, I cooked all the meals. I'm
going to make sure that the house is clean. You know,
I would make myself physically tired, not tired because of
(22:56):
the treatment. Okay, And then I said to myself things like, well,
as I said to you during the break our sun, Well,
I had booked an overseas trip and he was going
to be away for three months. He's in his twenties, right,
He's in his twenties, and he was concerned that whether
(23:17):
he should go or not. And I said, so you've
got to go. And I remember being with him at
the airport and saying to him as he was about
to go through, I just took him aside and said,
you know, you have the best life that you possibly can.
You go away, have the most amazing time, and I'm
going to be still here when you come back. And
(23:38):
when he walked through that towards the gate, I had
a couple of tears in my eyes. I seemed to
cry because I said to myself, I actually don't know
if I'm going to be here, but I'm going to
do everything I possibly can to make sure that I am.
And that's what I did, you know, and to help
(23:59):
people what I'm doing at the moment as I'm writing
a book on it. And you'll need to sense a
human to understand this. The title of the book's called
pret prodded and probed because there's a cancer patient. That's
what happens to you. You get used as a sewing
pin like a pincushion. Pincushion, yep, okay, And these three
(24:22):
things I have learned. This is the first parrot coot
paragraph in the book. First thing is a diagnosis of
cancer does not meant an automatic death sentence. Second thing,
laughter is the best medicine. And the third thing, sex
is overrated.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
You're gonna have to explain that one to us.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Yeah. Well, if you've ever been as banged up and
constipated as I have, because trust me, this is what
these drugs do to you. Yeah, you'll know that the temporary,
fleeting pleasure of sex does not overcome everlasting I watering
(25:07):
absolute of a good bellel motion.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Well, here first the Nudus Club be oh okay, you know.
And the thing is too, is that you know you
did keep your sense of humor through all of this,
because I remember when we would talk about it, you
know often, and I just said, you know, I had
you know, everything always sounded like a pain in the
ass when it came to your cancer, because it literally was.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
And the other thing I said to all of my
friends and especially the guys, I don't want any of
you phoning me up and feeling sorry for me, all right.
If you do that or are going to do that,
don't bother. What I want you to do is phone
(25:55):
me up, treat me just the way you always did.
Give me heaps, make me laugh, take the p out
of me, all right, because that's.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
What I need.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
And just so you listening at home, no boris continued
to come in and do the show as much as
you could. That's during that time period. I know you
couldn't make it every week, but you were here as
much as you could. And at times we knew, we
knew that you were not well, that you know that
you were you were actually really struggling, but you still
came in here and told us exactly what we should
(26:27):
be doing and what we shouldn't because you know, one
thing that I've learned is be careful with your thoughts
because as you think, so you become you know, that's
very very important. It doesn't mean that you live in
la la land, you know, but you've got to be
(26:49):
careful when those when those voices of self doubt appear,
You've got to go, well, I'm going to do I'm
going to do this, and I'm always going to work
backwards from a goal and an objective.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
So, for example, my wife and I we agreed that
following my last treatment, we would go on a short
trip to Australia, regardless of what the results were, because
all the way through the treatment they can't do any
tests on you because the chema and the radiation MUCKs
(27:25):
everything up.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Sure, so we booked.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
I had a cholonoscopy scheduled, and I had an MRI
and a CT scan scheduled, and the day after my
appointment with the oncologist, we said, regardless of what those
results are, we're going to go and have a holiday.
If the results are bad, we're going to go and
(27:53):
have a holiday. If the results are good, we're going
to go and have a holiday, and as it turned out,
the results were good and we went to Australia. For
two reasons. I wanted to say thank you to two people.
To my older cousin who in my early twenties when
(28:14):
I went to live in Australia. In those days you
wrote letters to people, I wrote to him and I
hadn't seen him since I was eleven years old, and
I asked him if I could come and live with him,
and he said yes I could. I wanted to go
and thank him for doing that. My first boss now
lived in Australia. I wanted to go and thank him
for everything that he taught me.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
You know, so.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
I constantly had goals and things that I had to
look forward to. And as you know, that's what I
do with everything in my life. I set targets and
I work backwards from them and it works. Because here
you are. You aren't dead, that's your heaven't to come
to the cancer. Your cancer is in remission. The best
(28:59):
way to describe it is that the tumor is no
longer present.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Let's go to the lines and kneel. Good morning to you,
good evening. Sorry, oh hi, thank you so much for
taking my call. Hey, welcome, thanks for calling.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
I've just been diagnosed with stage four cancer. But I'm
being very positive, keep my sense of humor. I just
want to say that everybody out there is suffering from
this horrible, horrible word that stay positive. And yeah it's hard.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
How do you go about staying positive? Neil? What works
for you?
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Well? I love cars, I love history, I love music.
Keep yourself busy and that's what you've got to do.
Just keep positive and have a lot of fun, have
a sense of humor.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
How long have you had your diagnosis?
Speaker 5 (29:58):
For?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Neil?
Speaker 4 (30:00):
About three years ago and things were really good, but
then it came back about a month ago, and yeah,
pretty devastating. But yeah, that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
And in terms of, you know, what you would say
to anybody else out there, you know who might be listening,
who perhaps might not be as far down the road,
in terms of, you know, the time that they've had
to come to terms with the diagnosis, what would you
want them to know? I mean, I like the fact
you've got the plan, but you know what else would
you like them to be thinking about?
Speaker 4 (30:35):
Well, I'm so lucky. I live in dun Eden. I'm
a fourth generation here in the hospital here, absolutely wonderful.
I've had you know, about four for treatments and you
know all the rest of it in the hospital and
have been so wonderful, beautiful people, supportive, lovely people.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
You sound like a man with a lot of gratitude
in his heart.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
Yeah, I hear, Yeah, yeah, I'm not not everyone's cup
of tea.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Well, to be fair, I quite like people who are grateful,
and I quite like people from Dunedin. So I'll tell
you what, because it's my hometown, you're doing pretty well
in my box.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Neil, Oh, thank you so much. But you know, every
time I go down and have scans and everything, I
praise the staff down there. I just tell them they're wonderful,
and they really are. They go out of their way,
their friendly, helpful, supportive, and it's so good. I love
(31:41):
living in Dneda.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
So be grateful, be grateful, and stay busy and make
time for the things that you're passionate about. Is that
a good summary?
Speaker 5 (31:50):
Neil?
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Absolutely, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
No, Neil, thank you for calling. I thank you that
you're exactly that the best caller we could have possibly
had out of the gates tonight. So thank you for
being that person. Keep in touch though, Neil. I'd love
to continue to hear about how you're going.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
All right, well, thank you so much and I love you.
Talk to you'd be I love you.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Show it well, we love you too, Neil. So cheers mate.
You take care.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
The other thing that's really important is that you ask questions.
You really must ask questions, and not just questions of
the doctors asked. I asked questions of my oncology nurses.
I asked questions of my radiation technicians because it was
(32:37):
really quite interesting my medical oncologists, because I didn't know
the difference. I thought an oncologist was an oncologist. But
you have medical oncologists who are responsible for the medication
and a radiation oncologist who really is only interested in
the radiation treatment. And they don't you know, there are
(32:58):
certain things like, for example, you're going to get a
radiation burn. Now, it's not something that I've thought about,
and it's not something that the radiation oncologist had mentioned
to me. She's kind of skirted around it. But because
I was asking questions of my oncology nurses, one of
(33:20):
them said, oh, I used to be a radiation nurse.
Have they mentioned to you about radiation burn? And I went, no,
should they? And she said yes, I think they should.
So I asked the I asked my medical oncologist first,
and he said, oh, I don't know much about that,
(33:41):
but I do know that they have all these magic
lotions and potions that they can give you. Maybe you
should ask the radiation oncologist. And of course I did.
And then she brought out all of these these creams
and one cream which would have had an an anesthetic
in it, and that I'm mixed. I put it in
(34:04):
the kept it in the fridge, and then when you applied,
it was like, oh, oh my goodness, this is wonderful
because here's another thing. I couldn't sit down. I had
to eat sitting up standing up, you know, I couldn't
I couldn't sit in a car.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
The reality of this is the reality of actually going
through the treatment. Let's go to the course. Yep, yeah,
because we've got We've got a few of them coming
in here, and thanks for them so much. Let's go
to Carol, Carol, good morning to you.
Speaker 5 (34:33):
Good morning guys. Baris. I want to say I'm sending
you total love and Admira action for having the balls
to share your story and your compassion I find healing.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Thank you, and.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
I'm going to ask you to have no doubt that
you are worthy of total healing. And will you send
the Europa that has been affected with bad selves all
the love and hearts, whatever color you think love is,
(35:19):
bring it in through your head and surround the whole area,
and don't have any doubt that it is healing. And
I'll explain how I've had two miracle healings from tumor
(35:43):
and nerve damage. For I had a semi head on
with a truck and I lost the use of my
right arm. I had twenty three fractures all over the
body and severe pain. And so when the hospital gave
(36:03):
me the flip that they couldn't fix my arm, I
started looking at alternative things. Came across Deepak Chopra's book,
who was an oncologist, and he found that two patients
could have the same cancer and one be here two
(36:26):
years later, in one day, born in two months. And
he put it down to attitude. And I started, you know,
doing all sorts of other fulsit of healing books and treatment,
(36:46):
and then I came across Sealestine prophecy, and I liked
I couldn't put it down. It just tuned into me,
and I think it was book three. It says about
the tenth insight to healing is too be positive and
(37:15):
send it love and healing energy to the area. So
I was trying to do that with my arm. And
then I got involved with a South Auckland primary school.
My kids were at a death ol ten and then
I got diagnosed with a tumor.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
In my mouth.
Speaker 5 (37:41):
And they buy upside it and they said, we're going
to have to take out two teeth, the surrounding gum
and some of your chore and you're going to talk
like you've been to the dentist for six months. And
(38:03):
I thought, okay, if it's going to be, it's going
to be.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
If I'm going to live, I'm going to live.
Speaker 5 (38:07):
If I'm going to die, to die. And they wrung
me up to say when the appointments, and I said,
I'm sorry, you'll have to give me another one. I
started this behavioral program and it's very important that these
kids have their names read out correctly, so I have
(38:31):
to be able to talk properly. And they said that
I was meant to have this teeth and all that
stuff done pretty urgently, and I'd come across this tempt
in sight. I just kept sending love and healing and
(38:57):
that you know, I was worthy of healing.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
And you know, Carol, what I love what I'm hearing
there is that that idea about you know, that we
are actually worthy of being able to have as you say, healing.
But you know, I think about it, you know, being
able to have people who want to help us or
you know, ideas thoughts treatment that is there to help us.
And thank you because you know what, as we say
(39:22):
here on the show all the time, Carol, if it works,
keep on doing it, you know.
Speaker 5 (39:28):
Anyway, I a couple of years later, I came down
to Wellington and I had a sort of joan went
along to have this fancy mouth X ray and it
had gone. And they thought I was a bear sashist
(39:48):
because I had to have monthly X rays until Auckland
sent down the great records and I had go back
every three months to have the X ray. And I
actually went to a community dentist and he thought that
(40:12):
I had a melio BLUs omer, he said, and you
haven't had surgery, and I said, though, he said, people
in his country lose half their faith. Oh wow. Yeah.
So anyway, I started doing the same principles to my arm.
To cut a long story short, in twenty eleven, I
(40:40):
got back the use of my arm. Sorry, twenty ten eleven,
I got back the use of my arm. And in
twenty eleven I got discharged for the tumor. They finally
accepted after ten.
Speaker 4 (40:55):
Years that it had gone wow.
Speaker 5 (40:58):
Without surgery and my arm nerves had been held.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Carol.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
That that absolutely incredible and well done, and thank you
so much for sharing your experience with that. What a
great outcome. Fantastic and interesting to hear what you're talking
there about the you know, about having the I mean,
we call it positive thinking, but you know, as you
sort of talked about it, boris having that plan, you know,
(41:28):
being able to keep active and keep looking at actually
the idea that this is not a death sentence, that
I can and potentially will survive this.
Speaker 4 (41:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Well for me, you know, gratitude is an attitude, and
a gratitude attitude determines your altitude.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
You know, I always like to think it's we've probably
all had whole you know, all had experiences like this,
is that you remember back to the time when you
didn't have as much as you have now, and then
when you actually look back and then look at where
you are now, then that's where you can be really
grateful a lot of the time.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
That Hamish, I look at it this way. I came
into the world with nothing. If I go out with nothing,
I wouldn't have lost very much.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
That's it for this episode of The Nutters Club. Thanks
to our producer Boris Sokratov for sharing his experiences with cancer,
as well as all our excellent callers and texters. If
you like what you heard and think it might help
someone out there, then please share this episode on your
own channels or with family and friends. And if you
ever want to be part of the show, give us
(42:40):
a call or text When we broadcast live on Newstalk
SeeDB eleven pm Sunday nights, New Zealand standard time. Check
out Newstalk SeeDB dot co dot nz for local frequencies
or a link to the live stream. A big thanks
to New Zealand on Air for their ongoing support in
making the show. Take care and always remember the world
(43:02):
is a better place with you in it. Life isn't easy.
It is, however, worth it.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
For more from Newstalk st B, listen live on air
or online, and keep our shows with you wherever you
go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio
You're listening to a podcast from news Talk said B.
Follow this and our wide range of podcasts now on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Greetings and welcome. I'm Hamish Williams and you're listening to
the podcast version of The Nutters Club, a radio show
about mental health broadcast weekly on Newstalk shad B. Each
week we speak with people about their mental health experiences
in the hope that it might help you with your own.
The show is broadcast live on Sunday nights on Newstalk
(00:41):
said B right across New Zealand and around the world.
This week, I was joined by the producer of The
Nutters Club, Boris Sokratov. In early twenty twenty four, Boris
was given a diagnosis for a rare type of cancer
that had many medical experts guessing as to what was
the best course of treatment. With chemotherapy and radiation therapy
(01:04):
being applied, Boris found that the approach to managing his
mental health help to move through the cancer experience. Let
us know what you think about our conversation with Boris,
as well as what you learn from our chat with
them on any of our social media platforms. Just search
for The Nutters Club NZ let's get into this week's episode.
(01:24):
You had an incredible hell to climb in the form
of a really tough cancer diagnosis.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
That's correct.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Tell us a little bit about it, so in terms
of what were you diagnosed with and when and what
did the prognosis look like?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Okay, Well, in twenty twenty three, I had two surgeries
in a place where the sun don't shine for a
very rare condition called perianal Paget's disease. All right, Now,
(02:03):
Paget disease usually presents in a female old breast, not
in a male's rare end Okay, So a lot of
people would be very uncomfortable talking about these things. However,
I'm not because it's all part of life. And the
issue was I thought I had what I would call
(02:26):
a problematic hemorrhoid a pile, okay, And I went to
my doctor who also thought it may be that. But
I had a colonoscopy coming up, so I had my
(02:47):
cholorectal surgeon take a look at it. And these are
all terms that you have to learn all about. And
he also on first look, thought it was something that
looked like a skin rash, so he gave me a cream.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
It turned out to be a hell of a lot
more than just a skin rash, and you ended up
having a very very rare diagnosis made for you well.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
As a result. Fortunately, he biopside it and it came
back positive for that form of Paget's disease. And here's
the thing about Paget's disease. Because it presents like exma
usually in a female breast, it gets misdiagnosed and people
(03:40):
it won't go away, and by the time it gets
correctly diagnosed, it's usually often too late. It's a well
advanced cancer. But fortunately for me, they were able to
the first surgery, they actually missed a bit, so they
had to go back in and take out a second
And so in November twenty twenty three, my wife, sorry,
(04:07):
I had a colonoscopy and it showed that everything was gone.
And in March of twenty twenty four, or only four
months later, my wife said I needed to have a
follow up colonoscopy. Now, I said, why do I need
(04:28):
to have one of those? Sorry, that was in twenty
twenty four. Four, Yes, that's right, Yeah, that's right. Why
do I need to have one of those? And she
said to me because you do, and I'm going, well,
I don't think I do, so she wouldn't be safe. Well,
(04:49):
we were supposed to be going to Europe for the
l you know, overseas trip, and I didn't want to
get it because I said might ruin the trip. And
she said, well, if you don't, I won't come to
Europe with you, and me being me, I said, well
in that case, I'll go without you.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Okay, but you changed your mind.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well only after she came back and said, look, we've
got a lot on and she's quite right, I'm involved
in a lot of other things apart from the radio show.
If you wait a year, I'll come, And so I
conceded it and thought yeah, because I don't really want
to go without her. And I had that cholnoscopy and
(05:34):
the results took four weeks to come back, and then
when they did come back, I had that they came
back positive for another very rare condition called small cell
neuroendocrine carcinoma. And between me getting those results back in
(06:01):
me starting chemotherapy and radiation was two weeks. That's rocket pace.
Because the thing about small cell neuroendocrine carcinoma, and this
is the thing you become an expert in all.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Of this stuff.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Shall we cush me? It's a very variety that I've
had is a very cunning, fast moving and aggressive cancer. Now,
when I say cunning, fast moving and aggressive, here's what
I mean. The simplest metric is a thing called the
proliferation rate, the speed at which the cancer cell spread. Now,
(06:35):
a proliferation rate of twenty percent at stage three cancer
is considered high. My proliferation rate was sixty percent, and
I was just starting and I had no symptoms of
any cancer whatsoever. So with odds like that, you kind
(06:56):
of think not too much chance that I would actually survive.
And so, to be honest with your Hamish, I was
preparing to die.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Mental health show, and tonight we're talking about your experience
with cancer. Why are we talking about this when it
comes to mental health?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Simply because I want to help remove a lot of
the fear and the anxiety that people have around talking
about cancer and help and that people have talking to
people who have had a diagnosis of cancer. There's a
lot of There is a lot of fear and a
lot of anxiety. And if we don't talk about these things,
(07:44):
then you'll never know you'll never be able to understand
and you'll constantly be living with.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Fear when you get that diagnosis. And as you put it,
you prepared to think, well, the odds are stacked against
me when it comes to this. It's very unlikely that
I'm going to say, you know, I'm preparing that I
might I might die. How does it feel when you
actually confronted your own mortality for yourself?
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Well, I confronted my own mortality a very long time ago, Amish.
You know, I've always known from an early age I
was surrounded by a lot of death. And my mother
was very good at bringing us as kids to because
I'm a Bulgarian Mary, I went to a lot of
(08:35):
tangy right, and so from a young age we saw
a lot of the rituals around death and dying, and
we saw that some people actually it was quite a
celebration of life for some people. Other people feared it
(08:56):
and they weren't very wasn't very comfortable to be around them.
In my particular case, I guess I took a leaf
out of my mother's rule book, because my also died
from cancer, and her journey from her diagnosis to when
she died was three months, and unlike a lot of people,
(09:22):
I didn't go, oh, my goodness, we've only got three months.
I went, Wow, fantastic, We've got three months to do
the most amazing things.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
All right.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
I also, however, did approach it quite differently.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Now.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
When our GP, my mum's GP, phoned me to tell
me about my mum's cancer, this is when I began
the process of understanding the words that we use are
really important, and we're very careful with how we choose
to use words on this show in particular. Now I'm
going to give you an example here that GP phoned me,
(10:01):
and this was his opening line, There's something sinister happening
that's interesting. But because I know how to ask questions,
I said, what does that mean? He said to me
there are secondaries everywhere. Now again, because I know what
secondaries mean, I still asked the question where are they?
(10:22):
And he said, through the back of her brain, through
her lungs, down through her liver, into her stomach and
luck and into her bones. Now I know that means effectively,
it's over for her, all right. And I was working
in an office at that stage, and an advertising agency,
(10:47):
and I just I said to him have you told her?
And he said no. I said, do you want me
to do it? He said yes, and I went, actually,
it is better that I do this, And so I
hung up the phone and I just started crying, all right,
and everybody was coming up to me and saying, what's happening,
what's going on? And I said, I just have to
go and tell my mother that she's dying. And so
(11:10):
I got in the car and I drove from Kyber
Pass where the ad agency was, to Gleanness. When my
mother lived in a state house and it was the
middle it was February, and it was stinking hot, and
my mother wasn't there, and I thought, where are you woman?
This is ridiculous. You know you're dying and you're out.
(11:31):
So I had to sit there in the sun waiting
for my mother to come home. And when she did,
she came home with my youngest sister. My youngest sister
lived with mum. And for the first time when she
got out of that car, I looked at my mother
and I thought, wow, you look old, you look old.
And she was on a walking stick and I'd never
seen my mom on a walking stick. And she looked
(11:53):
at me and she said to me, what's wrong with you? Son?
And I went, oh, my goodness, there you are. You're dying,
you know you are, and your first thoughts are for me. Now,
what I forgot to say was once i'd phoned that,
once I had that conversation with that doctor, I always
get a second opinion. So I found my wife, who
(12:14):
at that time was working at Auckland Hospital, and I said,
this is what I've been told. Do you mind going
down to the oncology department and checking these results? She did,
and then she called me back. Now, listen to the
difference in what she said to me. She phoned me back,
and this is how she started. Her opening line was
I want you to know that there's always hope, sinister
(12:36):
to hope. I kind of like this. The next thing
she said, though, was I need to tell you, though,
everything that you have been told is correct. And I went,
that's good. So the next thing, again, because I'm a
meticulous planner, Hamish, I'm pretty sure you know that, I
said to her, how much time have we got? Again,
(12:58):
listen to what she said. She said to me, there
aren't You can never have any certainties in these matters,
And I went, Wow, that's a pretty good answer. But
I now how to ask questions in order to get
the information that I need to be able to make decisions.
So I said to her, based on your experience when
(13:18):
a prognosis like this presents itself, what's the time frame?
So I've effectively backed her into the court, into a corner.
And that's when she said, well, if you put it
like that, three months. So I'm now having in this situation.
I'm at my mother's place. We go into the house,
(13:39):
sitting around her kitchen table, Me on one side, my
youngest sister on the other side, my mom to my right,
and I'm thinking, how do you do this? How do
you do this? And one thing that I've learned is
that when the moments upon you, the words come. And
my mom and I, when I was a kid, used
(13:59):
to have a couple of signals. If Mom needed to
talk to me about anything that was really important, she
would say she would get up early in the morning,
I start rattling pots and pans. That meant boris, get
out of bed, We've got a talk. In my case,
I would say, we need to have a cup of
tea because I don't drink. To your coffee, but I
drink to your coffee with other people to put them
(14:22):
at ease. So I said to mom, I said to
my younger sister, would you mind getting us a cup
of tea? So she gets up to get a cup
of tea, and then I looked at Mum and I went,
how do you do this? How do you do this?
Start with the small stuff, and I said, Mum, how
have you been feeling? And she said to me, apart
(14:44):
from my arthritis, I've been doing okay. And I went,
that's my end. And I looked at her and I said, Mum,
it's not arthritis, You've got cancer. And I've just started
bawling again. She looked at me and then she said
three things. The first thing she said was, Mum's not
(15:04):
going anywhere in a hurry. That's pretty good. Second thing,
we're going to take every day one day at a time.
And the third thing, you need to stop your blubbering
because when Mum sees you like this, it hurts her.
So I'm looking at this situation going you're dying and
your yrk thoughts are about me, so you're raising me up.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
So look in the end, what happened borislide. Did she
make the next three months?
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Three months to the day. But everywhere we went, I
never allowed anybody to talk about a time frame or
a deadline, because I believe you know, they're called deadlines
for a reason.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
People worked with them. So when you got your diagnosis,
did you know what was different this time around for you?
I mean, did you be like, well, well that's it,
I've I've got a few months left, they guess I'll
make the most of it. Did you have a big,
a big emotional response. What was different when it came
to you?
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Well, in my case, it's slow different from me because
my wife's a doctor. Okay, it's helpful in a scenario
it is. It also makes it worse for her though, Okay.
So my wife came home and my doctor is another
(16:28):
doctor in the same practice, Okay, And so the results
had come in and she got to see she got
to see them. So when she came through the door
at home, and I was getting to get quite tired then,
and I was asleep on the couch and she came
(16:50):
in and I woke up and I saw her, and
I saw her face, and I said, what's wrong with you?
And she just burst out crying. And then, of course,
because of my mother's experience, guess what I said to
my wife. I said this same three things that my
mother had said to me.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Boris isn't going anywhere. It's right, We're going to take
every day at a time, yep. And you've got to
stop crying because when you do, it hurts.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Borus correct, all right. And then what we did is
we went into action action mode in terms of making
a plan about what would happen, what was going to
happen next, and the tests that I needed to get done,
the oncologists that I needed to see, the radioation people
(17:41):
that I needed to see, the CT scan, the MRI
scan that I needed to get done, and I have
to learn all of this stuff within a few days, okay,
because we're going to have to make some decisions. And
there was some of my results got lost and I
(18:04):
had to get my I can't remember if it was
the MRI or the ct SKI and the one that
you do we become radioactive. I had to get that
done twice, which isn't a lot of fun. And then
we sat down and talked with the oncologist and he
said to me, there's no protocol to how to treat you.
(18:29):
When I said, why, he goes, well, you know, in
the last sixty years in the United States, there's only
been sixty recorded cases of what I've got. And then
if you take the other rare condition that I have,
then you add this rare condition eight point five billion
people in the world. You're lucky if five people in
(18:51):
the world have ever had what I've had. So they said,
what we're going to do is basically throw everything at you,
which meant that my chemo was the harsh chemo drugs
that you could have a combination. I call it my radiation,
(19:17):
my chemo and radiation cocktail adventure. All right, My chemo
some days was seven and a half hours of a
thing called a top of side cisplatin, and then after
my first cycle of it three days three days on,
(19:40):
and then on the fourth day, my wife would have
to give me an injection of white cell stimulant. Because
the broad spectrum drench, as I call it, kills everything,
the good cells and the not so good cells, So
you have to be very careful about catching an infection.
So I had to keep away from a lot of people.
After my first treatment, I came home. I was driving
(20:04):
up past Forest Hill Road because we live on the
north Shore, and I saw a and I thought, you
know what, Hamish, I'm going to run half a dozen laps.
So I ran half a dozen laps of the park
and when I got home, I did a whole lot
of exercises and I said to myself, I'm going to
do this all the way through. After my second round
(20:24):
of chema, I thought, maybe all I can do is
four laps after my third round of chema, because that's
when they started the radiation, and I had twenty five
consecutive days of radiation. So I called my rear end
getting barbecued to a crisp. That's when I decided, you know,
(20:47):
maybe all I can do is walk the dog. And
what I started doing was making sure that the house
was painted, that the decks were done, that my will
was in order. You know, those are the kind of
things that's just me in case I wasn't there, And
I talked to my best friends and other friends to
(21:13):
say to them, look, if I don't make it, would
you look after my wife? And now say, it's just
what I do.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You know, Look, it's a funny thing, isn't it. Because
when you say cancer, it has all kinds of different
implications for people and in terms of how they react
to it. And for instance, in my household, you know,
it's God, she's asleep, she won't hear this. My wife
hates it. If there's a story, like a cancer story
(21:41):
on the TV, or there's something about you know, eat
too much bacon and you'll get cancer, or you know,
the crops up in the news all the time, and
so actually it can become a really scary word for
people and something that you know, unless it's a lot
of fear, because ultimately, let's be honest, we probably all
know someone that we've lost to cancer, right, so this
(22:02):
is the connotation that holds. And so when you're talking
to me about you know, you know, come on, wife's
support on it, and we got a plan together, and
I did this and I did that. But what was
the conversation you were having with yourself, because to me,
that would be actually really important and how you're actually
going to approach cancer. What is it you know, when
(22:25):
does no one else around, when you're in that quiet
moment when you're feeling tired and you're wondering about the
future of the unknown, what were you telling yourself?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Well, you see hermish. That's one of the things I
didn't allow myself to have too many quiet moments solitary
because I said to myself, I'm going to cook all
the meals. You know, I cooked all the meals. I'm
going to make sure that the house is clean. You know,
I would make myself physically tired, not tired because of
(22:56):
the treatment. Okay, And then I said to myself things like, well,
as I said to you during the break our sun, Well,
I had booked an overseas trip and he was going
to be away for three months. He's in his twenties, right,
He's in his twenties, and he was concerned that whether
(23:17):
he should go or not. And I said, so you've
got to go. And I remember being with him at
the airport and saying to him as he was about
to go through, I just took him aside and said,
you know, you have the best life that you possibly can.
You go away, have the most amazing time, and I'm
going to be still here when you come back. And
(23:38):
when he walked through that towards the gate, I had
a couple of tears in my eyes. I seemed to
cry because I said to myself, I actually don't know
if I'm going to be here, but I'm going to
do everything I possibly can to make sure that I am.
And that's what I did, you know, and to help
(23:59):
people what I'm doing at the moment as I'm writing
a book on it. And you'll need to sense a
human to understand this. The title of the book's called
pret prodded and probed because there's a cancer patient. That's
what happens to you. You get used as a sewing
pin like a pincushion. Pincushion, yep, okay, And these three
(24:22):
things I have learned. This is the first parrot coot
paragraph in the book. First thing is a diagnosis of
cancer does not meant an automatic death sentence. Second thing,
laughter is the best medicine. And the third thing, sex
is overrated.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
You're gonna have to explain that one to us.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Yeah. Well, if you've ever been as banged up and
constipated as I have, because trust me, this is what
these drugs do to you. Yeah, you'll know that the temporary,
fleeting pleasure of sex does not overcome everlasting I watering
(25:07):
absolute of a good bellel motion.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Well, here first the Nudus Club be oh okay, you know.
And the thing is too, is that you know you
did keep your sense of humor through all of this,
because I remember when we would talk about it, you
know often, and I just said, you know, I had
you know, everything always sounded like a pain in the
ass when it came to your cancer, because it literally was.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
And the other thing I said to all of my
friends and especially the guys, I don't want any of
you phoning me up and feeling sorry for me, all right.
If you do that or are going to do that,
don't bother. What I want you to do is phone
(25:55):
me up, treat me just the way you always did.
Give me heaps, make me laugh, take the p out
of me, all right, because that's.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
What I need.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
And just so you listening at home, no boris continued
to come in and do the show as much as
you could. That's during that time period. I know you
couldn't make it every week, but you were here as
much as you could. And at times we knew, we
knew that you were not well, that you know that
you were you were actually really struggling, but you still
came in here and told us exactly what we should
(26:27):
be doing and what we shouldn't because you know, one
thing that I've learned is be careful with your thoughts
because as you think, so you become you know, that's
very very important. It doesn't mean that you live in
la la land, you know, but you've got to be
(26:49):
careful when those when those voices of self doubt appear,
You've got to go, well, I'm going to do I'm
going to do this, and I'm always going to work
backwards from a goal and an objective.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
So, for example, my wife and I we agreed that
following my last treatment, we would go on a short
trip to Australia, regardless of what the results were, because
all the way through the treatment they can't do any
tests on you because the chema and the radiation MUCKs
(27:25):
everything up.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Sure, so we booked.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
I had a cholonoscopy scheduled, and I had an MRI
and a CT scan scheduled, and the day after my
appointment with the oncologist, we said, regardless of what those
results are, we're going to go and have a holiday.
If the results are bad, we're going to go and
(27:53):
have a holiday. If the results are good, we're going
to go and have a holiday, and as it turned out,
the results were good and we went to Australia. For
two reasons. I wanted to say thank you to two people.
To my older cousin who in my early twenties when
(28:14):
I went to live in Australia. In those days you
wrote letters to people, I wrote to him and I
hadn't seen him since I was eleven years old, and
I asked him if I could come and live with him,
and he said yes I could. I wanted to go
and thank him for doing that. My first boss now
lived in Australia. I wanted to go and thank him
for everything that he taught me.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
You know, so.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
I constantly had goals and things that I had to
look forward to. And as you know, that's what I
do with everything in my life. I set targets and
I work backwards from them and it works. Because here
you are. You aren't dead, that's your heaven't to come
to the cancer. Your cancer is in remission. The best
(28:59):
way to describe it is that the tumor is no
longer present.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Let's go to the lines and kneel. Good morning to you,
good evening. Sorry, oh hi, thank you so much for
taking my call. Hey, welcome, thanks for calling.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
I've just been diagnosed with stage four cancer. But I'm
being very positive, keep my sense of humor. I just
want to say that everybody out there is suffering from
this horrible, horrible word that stay positive. And yeah it's hard.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
How do you go about staying positive? Neil? What works
for you?
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Well? I love cars, I love history, I love music.
Keep yourself busy and that's what you've got to do.
Just keep positive and have a lot of fun, have
a sense of humor.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
How long have you had your diagnosis?
Speaker 5 (29:58):
For?
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Neil?
Speaker 4 (30:00):
About three years ago and things were really good, but
then it came back about a month ago, and yeah,
pretty devastating. But yeah, that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
And in terms of, you know, what you would say
to anybody else out there, you know who might be listening,
who perhaps might not be as far down the road,
in terms of, you know, the time that they've had
to come to terms with the diagnosis, what would you
want them to know? I mean, I like the fact
you've got the plan, but you know what else would
you like them to be thinking about?
Speaker 4 (30:35):
Well, I'm so lucky. I live in dun Eden. I'm
a fourth generation here in the hospital here, absolutely wonderful.
I've had you know, about four for treatments and you
know all the rest of it in the hospital and
have been so wonderful, beautiful people, supportive, lovely people.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
You sound like a man with a lot of gratitude
in his heart.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
Yeah, I hear, Yeah, yeah, I'm not not everyone's cup
of tea.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Well, to be fair, I quite like people who are grateful,
and I quite like people from Dunedin. So I'll tell
you what, because it's my hometown, you're doing pretty well
in my box.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Neil, Oh, thank you so much. But you know, every
time I go down and have scans and everything, I
praise the staff down there. I just tell them they're wonderful,
and they really are. They go out of their way,
their friendly, helpful, supportive, and it's so good. I love
(31:41):
living in Dneda.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
So be grateful, be grateful, and stay busy and make
time for the things that you're passionate about. Is that
a good summary?
Speaker 5 (31:50):
Neil?
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Absolutely, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
No, Neil, thank you for calling. I thank you that
you're exactly that the best caller we could have possibly
had out of the gates tonight. So thank you for
being that person. Keep in touch though, Neil. I'd love
to continue to hear about how you're going.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
All right, well, thank you so much and I love you.
Talk to you'd be I love you.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Show it well, we love you too, Neil. So cheers mate.
You take care.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
The other thing that's really important is that you ask questions.
You really must ask questions, and not just questions of
the doctors asked. I asked questions of my oncology nurses.
I asked questions of my radiation technicians because it was
(32:37):
really quite interesting my medical oncologists, because I didn't know
the difference. I thought an oncologist was an oncologist. But
you have medical oncologists who are responsible for the medication
and a radiation oncologist who really is only interested in
the radiation treatment. And they don't you know, there are
(32:58):
certain things like, for example, you're going to get a
radiation burn. Now, it's not something that I've thought about,
and it's not something that the radiation oncologist had mentioned
to me. She's kind of skirted around it. But because
I was asking questions of my oncology nurses, one of
(33:20):
them said, oh, I used to be a radiation nurse.
Have they mentioned to you about radiation burn? And I went, no,
should they? And she said yes, I think they should.
So I asked the I asked my medical oncologist first,
and he said, oh, I don't know much about that,
(33:41):
but I do know that they have all these magic
lotions and potions that they can give you. Maybe you
should ask the radiation oncologist. And of course I did.
And then she brought out all of these these creams
and one cream which would have had an an anesthetic
in it, and that I'm mixed. I put it in
(34:04):
the kept it in the fridge, and then when you applied,
it was like, oh, oh my goodness, this is wonderful
because here's another thing. I couldn't sit down. I had
to eat sitting up standing up, you know, I couldn't
I couldn't sit in a car.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
The reality of this is the reality of actually going
through the treatment. Let's go to the course. Yep, yeah,
because we've got We've got a few of them coming
in here, and thanks for them so much. Let's go
to Carol, Carol, good morning to you.
Speaker 5 (34:33):
Good morning guys. Baris. I want to say I'm sending
you total love and Admira action for having the balls
to share your story and your compassion I find healing.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Thank you, and.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
I'm going to ask you to have no doubt that
you are worthy of total healing. And will you send
the Europa that has been affected with bad selves all
the love and hearts, whatever color you think love is,
(35:19):
bring it in through your head and surround the whole area,
and don't have any doubt that it is healing. And
I'll explain how I've had two miracle healings from tumor
(35:43):
and nerve damage. For I had a semi head on
with a truck and I lost the use of my
right arm. I had twenty three fractures all over the
body and severe pain. And so when the hospital gave
(36:03):
me the flip that they couldn't fix my arm, I
started looking at alternative things. Came across Deepak Chopra's book,
who was an oncologist, and he found that two patients
could have the same cancer and one be here two
(36:26):
years later, in one day, born in two months. And
he put it down to attitude. And I started, you know,
doing all sorts of other fulsit of healing books and treatment,
(36:46):
and then I came across Sealestine prophecy, and I liked
I couldn't put it down. It just tuned into me,
and I think it was book three. It says about
the tenth insight to healing is too be positive and
(37:15):
send it love and healing energy to the area. So
I was trying to do that with my arm. And
then I got involved with a South Auckland primary school.
My kids were at a death ol ten and then
I got diagnosed with a tumor.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
In my mouth.
Speaker 5 (37:41):
And they buy upside it and they said, we're going
to have to take out two teeth, the surrounding gum
and some of your chore and you're going to talk
like you've been to the dentist for six months. And
(38:03):
I thought, okay, if it's going to be, it's going
to be.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
If I'm going to live, I'm going to live.
Speaker 5 (38:07):
If I'm going to die, to die. And they wrung
me up to say when the appointments, and I said,
I'm sorry, you'll have to give me another one. I
started this behavioral program and it's very important that these
kids have their names read out correctly, so I have
(38:31):
to be able to talk properly. And they said that
I was meant to have this teeth and all that
stuff done pretty urgently, and I'd come across this tempt
in sight. I just kept sending love and healing and
(38:57):
that you know, I was worthy of healing.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
And you know, Carol, what I love what I'm hearing
there is that that idea about you know, that we
are actually worthy of being able to have as you say, healing.
But you know, I think about it, you know, being
able to have people who want to help us or
you know, ideas thoughts treatment that is there to help us.
And thank you because you know what, as we say
(39:22):
here on the show all the time, Carol, if it works,
keep on doing it, you know.
Speaker 5 (39:28):
Anyway, I a couple of years later, I came down
to Wellington and I had a sort of joan went
along to have this fancy mouth X ray and it
had gone. And they thought I was a bear sashist
(39:48):
because I had to have monthly X rays until Auckland
sent down the great records and I had go back
every three months to have the X ray. And I
actually went to a community dentist and he thought that
(40:12):
I had a melio BLUs omer, he said, and you
haven't had surgery, and I said, though, he said, people
in his country lose half their faith. Oh wow. Yeah.
So anyway, I started doing the same principles to my arm.
To cut a long story short, in twenty eleven, I
(40:40):
got back the use of my arm. Sorry, twenty ten eleven,
I got back the use of my arm. And in
twenty eleven I got discharged for the tumor. They finally
accepted after ten.
Speaker 4 (40:55):
Years that it had gone wow.
Speaker 5 (40:58):
Without surgery and my arm nerves had been held.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Carol.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
That that absolutely incredible and well done, and thank you
so much for sharing your experience with that. What a
great outcome. Fantastic and interesting to hear what you're talking
there about the you know, about having the I mean,
we call it positive thinking, but you know, as you
sort of talked about it, boris having that plan, you know,
(41:28):
being able to keep active and keep looking at actually
the idea that this is not a death sentence, that
I can and potentially will survive this.
Speaker 4 (41:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Well for me, you know, gratitude is an attitude, and
a gratitude attitude determines your altitude.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
You know, I always like to think it's we've probably
all had whole you know, all had experiences like this,
is that you remember back to the time when you
didn't have as much as you have now, and then
when you actually look back and then look at where
you are now, then that's where you can be really
grateful a lot of the time.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
That Hamish, I look at it this way. I came
into the world with nothing. If I go out with nothing,
I wouldn't have lost very much.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
That's it for this episode of The Nutters Club. Thanks
to our producer Boris Sokratov for sharing his experiences with cancer,
as well as all our excellent callers and texters. If
you like what you heard and think it might help
someone out there, then please share this episode on your
own channels or with family and friends. And if you
ever want to be part of the show, give us
(42:40):
a call or text When we broadcast live on Newstalk
SeeDB eleven pm Sunday nights, New Zealand standard time. Check
out Newstalk SeeDB dot co dot nz for local frequencies
or a link to the live stream. A big thanks
to New Zealand on Air for their ongoing support in
making the show. Take care and always remember the world
(43:02):
is a better place with you in it. Life isn't easy.
It is, however, worth it.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
For more from Newstalk st B, listen live on air
or online, and keep our shows with you wherever you
go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Betrayal: Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a brand new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack. And make sure to check out Seasons 1-4 of Betrayal, along with Betrayal Weekly Season 1.