The Unlock Lab

Welcome back to The Unlock Lab. After six live coaching sessions with my client Kathleen (a pseudonym to protect her privacy), I wanted to take a moment to share what’s still sticking with me, a question I often ask my clients at the end of a session: ‘What’s sticking with you now?’ 

The first thing that stuck with me is that nobody wants to be told what to do. Coaching as a discipline is about showing s...

This was the final session in the series of six live coaching sessions, and we dive into the topics of money, value, and worth as Kathleen recognized her resistance to paid clients vs unpaid clients.

Early on Kathleen names the belief she's been living: that she has to choose between income, fulfillment and legitimacy. She then shares her experience of what’s going on inside her head once a paying client comes knocking at her ...

In this session number 5 of 6 with Kathleen we started with a debrief from a Dreams and Obstacles event that she attended, which was inspired by Barbara Sher's framework. It was a power move for her to do the work to get ready to say her dream out loud and make the ask in front of room filled with generous people eager to help. The surprise twist is that she didn’t get the chance to do so, but realized that the journey of the...

Something shifted for Kathleen between her third and fourth coaching sessions. This is such a powerful example of how the sessions are a container for what needs to come to the surface. AND the real transformation takes place in the integration and digestion of the conversation, and even more so in the choices my clients make when I’m not standing by their side.

Kathleen came to the session with momentum and the decision to co...

This is the third session (out of six) with my client Kathleen, and we explored options for the focus of our conversation as she didn’t have something in mind at the start—which is common with lots of clients.

There was palpable resistance for a good portion of the session, but then you’ll feel how the energy started to shift as Kathleen bravely stayed in the process.

Pay attention to the 9-box exercise that you can...

This is the second session for my client Kathleen, and we start with what she noticed after our first conversation. We talked about how she felt completely drained afterward, like someone had drugged her. I shared how that’s not a bad sign, and that it’s a sign that the work is happening in her body and not just in her head.

Next we explore what she'd been sitting with between sessions, and something surfaces that neithe...

Welcome to this special series where you get to bear witness and experience live coaching with a real client. Through the generosity of my client, who we're calling Kathleen to protect her privacy, you get to sit in on six full coaching sessions, recorded live. It’s the first time I’ve ever done this, and I’m thrilled for you to discover your own unlock in the process.

In this first session, I skip most of the usua...

Today I talk about the difference between asking the top-layer question about getting unstuck and going to the deeper question underneath it.

Getting unstuck requires asking yourself different questions. The reason it's so hard to do on your own is that you’re used to asking yourself the same questions over and over—and giving yourself the same answers over and over.

For the past eight years, folks have come to me to help...

I want to talk about being in between things, and more specifically being in between jobs, because it can be a really difficult place. We don't get much direction and almost no education about the emotional journey that comes with it. Even placement companies that help people find their next role don't address the emotional roller coaster that comes with being let go, or choosing to leave. Addressing this ride will do more good tha...

It's eight years to the month, almost to the day, since I put in my notice and left corporate for good. It’s not a sexy story, which is exactly why I wanted to talk about it.

I first share the story about how I never wanted to be an entrepreneur, nor was that encouraged. I was encouraged to go get an education and get a J-O-B in an office, versus the very labor-intensive path that my father took.

So you can imagine why entrepre...

I'm with you for my first solo episode in a few weeks and am being honest about where I am right now: in the middle of a liminal phase. Asking what's the next phase of me, what do I not want to bring with me, and what more of my truth do I want to bring to the table. Most of us are somewhere in that journey of becoming the next version of ourselves, and it can be the most difficult place to be. I'm in it, I don't have it all figure...

In this episode I have a riveting conversation with Susan A. Miele; author of the recently released 'PAUSED.', scholar, and former HR C-suite executive. Drawing from her own experience and her PhD in Human and Organizational Systems, her passion is at the intersection of personal transformation, theory, and leadership.

Susan is one of the 12% of women who went through menopause before 45, and hers went undiagnosed for years. Her per...

Most communication advice tells you to say X words in Y tone and get Z outcome, but influence has never worked that way.

In this episode I sit down with Casey Erin Clark and Julie Fogh, co-founders of Vital Voice Training (VVT) and co-authors of The Authenticity Code. These are the women behind the support around my own keynote work, so I have been blessed to be on the receiving end of their magic. They founded VVT in 2014, in the m...

When was the last time you completely shut down? No email, no chores, no doing anything at all. If that question makes you squirm, your vacation inner critic is louder than you think.

In this episode, I'm calling out the voices that keep you from taking real time off. The ones that say 'you'll fall behind', 'you'll lose momentum', 'now is a terrible time.' Those voices are lies. We've been conditioned by a system that treats two wee...

Today I'm sharing a simple two-question practice that will change the way you lead, the way you show up, and your results. I counsel my clients to ask themselves these two questions before every single meeting, and it works.

The first question is: What are my expectations? Oftentimes you have low-key expectations you don't even know about, and this question is about unearthing them and bringing them to the conscious level. Maybe you...

Today I talk about the leaky faucet of leadership, and this whole thing starts with a story about my dishwasher at home. About a year ago it started leaking about once every ten times we ran it. It was a nuisance, but I had no idea how to diagnose the situation. So I ignored solving the problem for good, and my husband wasn’t pushing for that either. We told ourselves it would go away, but of course it didn't. Many months lat...

Let's talk about the hardest decisions you'll make in your career: when to stay and when to leave your leadership role. There are two big mistakes I see leaders make, and I've made both myself. You leave too soon, or you overstay your welcome.

Leaving too soon usually happens when you decide everyone else is the problem. The company is broken, nobody can do their job, and you've never stopped to look at your own part in the equation...

Today I’m talking to you about something that’s hard to learn until you go through it: starting new jobs in new industries, new companies, and even new roles. In this episode, I share the counsel I’ve gained from my own career transitions, including the time I entered a new company where the product was entirely in Spanish.

The most critical step to take before you begin a new role is to clear out the baggage and n...

We evolve as leaders, and that's normal. But we operate in environments, and around people that want us to stay the same. In this episode I talk about what it really takes to grow: letting old parts of who you are die off so that new growth can take root. This old version might be operating from a place of fear, from people pleasing, or from ways of working that aren't working anymore.

To bring this idea to life, I share the story o...