October 24, 2023 • 16 mins
Hillary Clinton gets shouted down by a Leftist protester. Trump tells people not to vote. Dana brought a fake new soap into the studio bathroom.
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Change the lives of Veterans and their families with the Boot Campaign with every purchase of the Ready-to-Drink Coffee!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Celtech. It's his laugh mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida man, all right. So this
he's a Tampa man in a Buccaneersjersey and he posed as a police officer
(00:22):
and was trying to pull over carson I seventy five that he's facing because
you can't impersonate law enforcement. Sohe was trying to pull people over in
Brooksville, said troopers Earl Cesario sixtytwo of Tampa. He was arrested taking
a Sumter County jail with his TampaBay Buccaneers charsey on. A trooper pulled
(00:44):
him over because he was getting allthese reports that this red GMC pickup was
using red and blue flashing lights pullingover other cars in his truck. Like
who would pull over for that?Though? Would you pull over for a
truck like the A Hell, Iwouldn't. I'd be like, you come
get me now. They're like youweren't in a mark. I didn't trust
you. I just said I seelights. I'm not gonna dude, he's
got red fuzzy dye in his car, like right on the you know,
(01:07):
because that's what police do in theirfor in their GMC pickups. So they
said he told authorities that they wereapparently lying that he did not actually have
his lights on, but he did, uh, And he the driver said
he thought it was undercover law enforcementat the time, and he started pulling
over, but then he became suspiciousafter the truck sped off, So he
was the one who ended up uh, contacting law enforcement. They did detain
(01:30):
him. They they he took himinto custody without incident. But oh my
gosh, oh, let's see here, boy, we got some Parents of
the Year here coming up in thistoo. Uh a Florida. So we
got a Florida man arrested for stealingand damaging an excavator. Let me,
(01:51):
let's do the iguana. This isa thing. So this is a new
one, not the same one thatI had like last month. This is
brand new. A guy in Hollywood, Florida found an iguana straight up in
his toilet. Took a video ofit too. He sent it to Channel
six NBC in South Florida, andthe lizard was hanging out in the dude's
toilet bowl. It looks huge.They called animal control. They got it
(02:15):
out. They said that the iguanatried to slither back down the sewer system
in the same way that it camein. This seems like it's common.
And also the guy has a potleaf mat right there by his toilet.
I don't understand the mats by thetoilet. I don't get that. Florida
man saanest person in our country.Right now, stick with us third hour
(02:36):
on the way. You all knowthat I have several celtech firearms that I
love, but the PMR thirty isperhaps my favorite. Great all around reliable
Celtech and for those of you whomight be recoil shy, the PMR thirty
is great for personal or home defense, but it's also really recreationally. It's
lightweight, accuracy, and thirty roundtwenty two magnum capacity make it perfect for
hiking, backpacking, camping, boating, and an all out fund rangy planking.
(03:00):
Right out of the box, thePMR thirty offers excellent target acquisition with
the tie viz fiber optic front andrear sites. If you want a recreational
carbine, the CMR thirty is thePMR thirties big brother and accepts the same
thirty round twenty two Magnam magazines withthe ballistic advantage. Visit keltech weapons dot
com to learn more about the PMRthirty and while they are, sign up
(03:20):
for the Celtech Insider. To stayup to date and follow them on social
media, go to kel tech weaponsdot com. That's k E l t
e C Weapons dot com celtech thirtyyears of innovation to help secure your world,
visit cal tech weapons dot com todaykell tech weapons dot com. Speaking
(03:40):
of robots, you know you havenow wait a minute, hear me out.
Do you remember Spaceballs when they hadlike the giant made robot. She
was vacuuming all the air out ofthe planet. So it's like Hillary Clinton.
It's like the same thing. It'slike a bit fold run right.
(04:02):
It's just you get all the justmeanest, horriblest feminists together and they make
her right. So she snapped.She was interrupted mid speech because people were
demanding that she call it Joe Bidenfor walking us right to the precipice of
World War three. Uh, thisis audio sold Fit eighteen. She gets
mad, I'm sorry, We've gottwo more people to hear from. You
(04:26):
know you have a chance. Well, I'm not sorry. You can sit
down and we're gonna let other people. We're gonna let other people talk.
I'm gonna turn now to Frankisha isa leading civil rights organizer who is because
(04:50):
he's like, nobody wants to givehim a mic. He's an audience.
The way he's gesturing, I wantto bully him. I mean, he's
a leftar. It's not making thisis not this is not the way to
have a conversation. You're welcome tocome talk to me afterwards. No,
she doesn't. She doesn't mean that. Yeah, you're welcome because you and
(05:14):
I will listen to you and Iwill respond to you. Right well,
people, Oh, man, dude, you're gonna get suicided. Sit down,
sit down. Well that's your opinion. That's your opinion. Oh that's
just like your opinion, man,your opinion. She's so mad. Oh
(05:36):
my gosh, I can't deal rightnow. I can't deal. Oh I
can't. Okay, I got toplay this for you, So I don't.
I saw this on This is Newso he so Trump was in New
Hampshire, he filed for the primary. I listened to there was a like
a sixteen minute clip of this.There's nothing to here that's out of contact
(06:00):
because I wanted to make sure.Now, wait a minute, is he
talking to like, what's he talkingabout here? Wait? Wait, wait
a second. Sometimes he gets aheadof his skis and he needs to not
say these things. Audio sound biteleven. Please, So we have to
be careful. You gotta get outthere, and you gotta watch those voters.
You don't have to vote. Don'tworry about voting. The voting.
We got plenty of votes. Yougotta watch. Oh my gosh, no,
(06:26):
no, he said, don't botherwith voting. Oh my gosh,
girl, what's you doing? No, baby, what you doing? No?
Why does he do this? Hedid this in Georgia too. Do
(06:46):
you remember that one dude? What'shis name? Oh? Lynn Wood?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hewas out there telling everybody don't vote,
your vote doesn't count. Okay,that's You're not gonna like what I'm about
to say, So just like deal, because this is the truth. This
is how we lost Georgia, Thisis how we lost the Senate. I
was on the ground in Georgia.I was helping with some of the get
(07:08):
out the vote stuff. I cannottell you how demoralized volunteers were. I
cannot tell you the number of peopleI talked to who said, yeah,
we're just not gonna go vote.We're just seeing it doesn't matter anymore.
And it was turnout. Republicans literallysuicided themselves in the Georgia runoff. That's
(07:31):
how we lost the Senate. AndI I mean, I talked to so
many grassroot conservatives who were so desperateto not lose the Senate and they were
trying to get out there. Theyhave hard numbers. I mean, we
talked about this after it happened.I went back. I tweeted out a
piece yesterday because there was an AJACwhere and these are just hard. It's
(07:56):
hard numbers. It's from every theSecretary of State, they tally all this
stuff. Turnout fell. It wasone of the most precipitous declines amongst Republican
voters that the state had seen inrecent elections. And that is from Emory
University. In addition to Emory University, there was also an AJC survey,
(08:18):
there was a lot Center for Responseto Politics Politics did a survey. It
was one of the most precipitous declinesin Republican voter turnout that they had ever
seen. The overall turnout fell fromfive million to just a little over.
So you had almost a million peoplewho didn't go vote in Georgia for the
(08:41):
special election. And that's how welost the Senate. That's not because anything
was written. People were Democrats convincedRepublicans to steal their own votes. That's
what happened. I need Trump notto tell people ever again to not vote.
Please, do not ever do thatagain. No, do not do
that. Your vote matters. Itdoes matter, it does matter. We
(09:03):
got more on the way. Iwas like, girl, what you're doing.
Stop. So many of America's collegesand universities today are less concerned with
critical thinking than within doctrination. Soit's no wonder that so many young Americans
embrace cancel culture, or deny freespeech to conservatives, and celebrate terrorism.
I'm happy to report that there isan American college where students debate ideas openly
and honestly, where they pursue truthtogether with their professors, and where America's
(09:26):
great heritage of liberty is studied andrevered, Hillsdale College. Hillsdale College continues
its original mission of offering the kindof serious liberal arts education needed to preserve
the blessings of civil and religious libertyacross the land. At Hillsdale College,
students grow in heart and mind bystudying timeless truths in a supportive, dedicated
community. To learn more about themission of Hillsdale College, visit Dana four
(09:46):
f R Hillsdale dot com. Thereyou will find a short video showing you
how Hillsdale's work is effective in defendingAmerican liberty not only on its Michigan and
Washington, DC campuses, but acrossthe nation. Takes some time to watch
today at day four Hillsdale dot com. That's Dana four Hillsdale dot com,
Hillsdale College, Developing Minds, improvinghearts and now all of the news you
(10:07):
would probably miss. It's time forDana's Quick five. So a passenger is
up in arms because he got kickedoff. Uh for she got kicked off
a flight, a Southwest flight forpetting a puppy. Uh. Yeah,
there was a series of clips thatanother passenger uploaded detailing this particular passenger's predicament.
(10:31):
So it happened the passenger was flyingon south West Airlines. They said,
uh, and they in the videohad an eight week old puppy named
Sidka into going from Colorado back hometo California. Uh, the puppy began
to whine a little bit. Uh. The flight attendant was checking boarding passes
and she told the passenger if theif the dog continues to make noises,
(10:52):
you may not be able to fly. Uh. And she petted the dog
to comment, which calmed it downright away. But then uh, the
she was petting it through the topof the carrier. The flight attendant said,
Oh, it has to be zippedat all times and under the seat.
Apparently they hadn't even taken off yet, like they were still people were
still boarding, and so she saidit has to be secure in the pet
(11:13):
carrier. If you don't follow,then you're gonna be I mean, she
was like saying, it has tobe zipped under the seat, then you
but your dog has to not whindall this other stuff. Long story short,
the attendant was getting was giving hersome according to the video contradictory request,
and they ended up ejecting her offthe flight. I think that's stupid.
That's so dumb. I just Ican't. This is why I say
(11:35):
I like I like dogs, butI like that woman. I feel totally
fine in saying that that's that's sogoofy. Come on, just just Australia
points a feral pig as a czaras its population. Feral hogs are a
huge problem. Balloons up to whattwenty four million? I think this is
kind of crazy because it's an AOLarticle and it's trash. It won't load,
(11:58):
So that's just we're gonna get withthat headline. Doctors could soon prescribe
a video game for ADHD. Ithink video games are helpful for a lot
of stuff. China beer maker,a worker was caught urinating in a raw
material warehouse. That's disgusting. They'reactually telling people giving them tips to prevent
hand injuries during pumpkin carving. Ijust think some people shouldn't handle knives.
(12:22):
I've seen some of these people cutvegetables. Stop it. I wouldn't trust
you with a knife for pumpkin carvingat all. They're saying, apparently that's
like a big problem, like tripsto urgent care because people cut themselves with
this. So goofy. All right, so some radio business. Most of
you don't care about inside baseball stuff. Caine, I got the false soap
(12:43):
in for the radio bathroom. I'mthe only chick here. These guys don't
care if they wash their hands withactivated charcoal. They don't care. I
do. And I'm like, oh, it's fall. I'm like doing like
my basic bitsh stuff. It's fall. We gotta have like the fall soaps
and everything. Yeah, and everyseason is a new type of soap.
(13:05):
Yeah, So I got the I'mnot I'm not advertising for these people,
so I'm not gonna but I gota tear, so I'm gonna hide the
It's Fig soap. It's Fig.I was like, everybody does like Apple
Fig. Yeah, I was.I get Christmas presents for people all year
long and then I hoard it untilChristmas because I don't like wait until last
minute to do anything. And Iwas out picking stuff up and I saw,
oh, and I like to shoplocal. And it's a Fig soap,
(13:28):
So you're gonna your hands are gonnasmell like Fig. I cannot tell
you what Cain said in response tothis, because I will probably get dropped
from a number of affiliates that.But it is the most always sunny and
Philadelphia thing you could probably have asa response. It is so politically incorrect
and hysterical. Actually, after Isaid it, I was thinking, what
(13:54):
does fig smell like? Does itsmell like fig Newton's? I don't know
fig? Am I supposed open?Do we know what fig smells? I
mean, I know what a figNewton smells, That's what I'm saying.
But am I going to I guessthat smells like fig? Like fig Newton's.
Yeah, it sells like fig.I mean, is it smell like
fall? I don't know. Imean, do I necessarily associate fig with
(14:16):
fall? I don't know, butit sounded nice because I have like melted
cheese with figs. Isn't there somethingabout figgy pudding? Yeah? Yeah,
yeah, that's like a Christmas thing. Yeah, so I'm guessing it's a
fall. So this will be anice false scent. Your hands will smell
like figs. Yay. I don'tknow what that is, but yay.
But you drink bacteria tea. Butyou're making fun of my fig so gosh.
I wish I could, Oh mygosh, it was one of the
(14:39):
funniest, craziest I wish so badlyI could tell everybody what you said celebrating
the fig soap. I don't knowwhy you're now today you're celebrating yesterday,
you were not celebrating the fig soap. That was my way of celebrating.
You're like, oh, figs soI have a unique way of celebrating.
And then he made a joke aboutwhat he was going to do after he
(15:01):
washed his hands with the fig soap. It's gonna say like, I'm I'm
easing you into the fall season,right, we don't really have a fall.
Oh sorry Europeans autumn. We caughtthe fall because the leaves fall on
the ground. Uh. And youknow, I'm just like making it a
little more, you know, autumny. Sorry, you're accusing me of being
(15:22):
a bigot. Yeah, a figot, right is what I was. And
it's very very close to what yousaid. I was making your hands.
But the figure. I celebrate thenew soap every season. I see.
You know what fig smells like?Right? You like fig newtons? How
would you describe what fig smells like? I mean, I know what it
(15:45):
sells like. I don't want toput in my mouth what no, what
it smells? That know? Whatit tastes like? Oh? Yeah,
how would you describe? How wouldyou describe the fig smell to someone?
How would you do that? Describeit it's it's like fruity trees, right,
I don't know it spells figgy.So we're gonna have a new segment
(16:06):
on the show called make Steve Describestuff. So Steve, what it smells
like fruity trees? I don't know, like fruity trees. I love it.
All right, we gotta get rolling. We have today in's Stupidity on
the way. Oh my gosh.All right, as we do, get
moving, No thanks to the figSoap. Thanks for tuning in to today's
edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Tooth podcast. If you haven't already, made sure
(16:29):
to hit that subscribe button on ApplePodcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Celtech. It's his laugh mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida man, all right. So this
he's a Tampa man in a Buccaneersjersey and he posed as a police officer
(00:22):
and was trying to pull over carson I seventy five that he's facing because
you can't impersonate law enforcement. Sohe was trying to pull people over in
Brooksville, said troopers Earl Cesario sixtytwo of Tampa. He was arrested taking
a Sumter County jail with his TampaBay Buccaneers charsey on. A trooper pulled
(00:44):
him over because he was getting allthese reports that this red GMC pickup was
using red and blue flashing lights pullingover other cars in his truck. Like
who would pull over for that?Though? Would you pull over for a
truck like the A Hell, Iwouldn't. I'd be like, you come
get me now. They're like youweren't in a mark. I didn't trust
you. I just said I seelights. I'm not gonna dude, he's
got red fuzzy dye in his car, like right on the you know,
(01:07):
because that's what police do in theirfor in their GMC pickups. So they
said he told authorities that they wereapparently lying that he did not actually have
his lights on, but he did, uh, And he the driver said
he thought it was undercover law enforcementat the time, and he started pulling
over, but then he became suspiciousafter the truck sped off, So he
was the one who ended up uh, contacting law enforcement. They did detain
(01:30):
him. They they he took himinto custody without incident. But oh my
gosh, oh, let's see here, boy, we got some Parents of
the Year here coming up in thistoo. Uh a Florida. So we
got a Florida man arrested for stealingand damaging an excavator. Let me,
(01:51):
let's do the iguana. This isa thing. So this is a new
one, not the same one thatI had like last month. This is
brand new. A guy in Hollywood, Florida found an iguana straight up in
his toilet. Took a video ofit too. He sent it to Channel
six NBC in South Florida, andthe lizard was hanging out in the dude's
toilet bowl. It looks huge.They called animal control. They got it
(02:15):
out. They said that the iguanatried to slither back down the sewer system
in the same way that it camein. This seems like it's common.
And also the guy has a potleaf mat right there by his toilet.
I don't understand the mats by thetoilet. I don't get that. Florida
man saanest person in our country.Right now, stick with us third hour
(02:36):
on the way. You all knowthat I have several celtech firearms that I
love, but the PMR thirty isperhaps my favorite. Great all around reliable
Celtech and for those of you whomight be recoil shy, the PMR thirty
is great for personal or home defense, but it's also really recreationally. It's
lightweight, accuracy, and thirty roundtwenty two magnum capacity make it perfect for
hiking, backpacking, camping, boating, and an all out fund rangy planking.
(03:00):
Right out of the box, thePMR thirty offers excellent target acquisition with
the tie viz fiber optic front andrear sites. If you want a recreational
carbine, the CMR thirty is thePMR thirties big brother and accepts the same
thirty round twenty two Magnam magazines withthe ballistic advantage. Visit keltech weapons dot
com to learn more about the PMRthirty and while they are, sign up
(03:20):
for the Celtech Insider. To stayup to date and follow them on social
media, go to kel tech weaponsdot com. That's k E l t
e C Weapons dot com celtech thirtyyears of innovation to help secure your world,
visit cal tech weapons dot com todaykell tech weapons dot com. Speaking
(03:40):
of robots, you know you havenow wait a minute, hear me out.
Do you remember Spaceballs when they hadlike the giant made robot. She
was vacuuming all the air out ofthe planet. So it's like Hillary Clinton.
It's like the same thing. It'slike a bit fold run right.
(04:02):
It's just you get all the justmeanest, horriblest feminists together and they make
her right. So she snapped.She was interrupted mid speech because people were
demanding that she call it Joe Bidenfor walking us right to the precipice of
World War three. Uh, thisis audio sold Fit eighteen. She gets
mad, I'm sorry, We've gottwo more people to hear from. You
(04:26):
know you have a chance. Well, I'm not sorry. You can sit
down and we're gonna let other people. We're gonna let other people talk.
I'm gonna turn now to Frankisha isa leading civil rights organizer who is because
(04:50):
he's like, nobody wants to givehim a mic. He's an audience.
The way he's gesturing, I wantto bully him. I mean, he's
a leftar. It's not making thisis not this is not the way to
have a conversation. You're welcome tocome talk to me afterwards. No,
she doesn't. She doesn't mean that. Yeah, you're welcome because you and
(05:14):
I will listen to you and Iwill respond to you. Right well,
people, Oh, man, dude, you're gonna get suicided. Sit down,
sit down. Well that's your opinion. That's your opinion. Oh that's
just like your opinion, man,your opinion. She's so mad. Oh
(05:36):
my gosh, I can't deal rightnow. I can't deal. Oh I
can't. Okay, I got toplay this for you, So I don't.
I saw this on This is Newso he so Trump was in New
Hampshire, he filed for the primary. I listened to there was a like
a sixteen minute clip of this.There's nothing to here that's out of contact
(06:00):
because I wanted to make sure.Now, wait a minute, is he
talking to like, what's he talkingabout here? Wait? Wait, wait
a second. Sometimes he gets aheadof his skis and he needs to not
say these things. Audio sound biteleven. Please, So we have to
be careful. You gotta get outthere, and you gotta watch those voters.
You don't have to vote. Don'tworry about voting. The voting.
We got plenty of votes. Yougotta watch. Oh my gosh, no,
(06:26):
no, he said, don't botherwith voting. Oh my gosh,
girl, what's you doing? No, baby, what you doing? No?
Why does he do this? Hedid this in Georgia too. Do
(06:46):
you remember that one dude? What'shis name? Oh? Lynn Wood?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hewas out there telling everybody don't vote,
your vote doesn't count. Okay,that's You're not gonna like what I'm about
to say, So just like deal, because this is the truth. This
is how we lost Georgia, Thisis how we lost the Senate. I
was on the ground in Georgia.I was helping with some of the get
(07:08):
out the vote stuff. I cannottell you how demoralized volunteers were. I
cannot tell you the number of peopleI talked to who said, yeah,
we're just not gonna go vote.We're just seeing it doesn't matter anymore.
And it was turnout. Republicans literallysuicided themselves in the Georgia runoff. That's
(07:31):
how we lost the Senate. AndI I mean, I talked to so
many grassroot conservatives who were so desperateto not lose the Senate and they were
trying to get out there. Theyhave hard numbers. I mean, we
talked about this after it happened.I went back. I tweeted out a
piece yesterday because there was an AJACwhere and these are just hard. It's
(07:56):
hard numbers. It's from every theSecretary of State, they tally all this
stuff. Turnout fell. It wasone of the most precipitous declines amongst Republican
voters that the state had seen inrecent elections. And that is from Emory
University. In addition to Emory University, there was also an AJC survey,
(08:18):
there was a lot Center for Responseto Politics Politics did a survey. It
was one of the most precipitous declinesin Republican voter turnout that they had ever
seen. The overall turnout fell fromfive million to just a little over.
So you had almost a million peoplewho didn't go vote in Georgia for the
(08:41):
special election. And that's how welost the Senate. That's not because anything
was written. People were Democrats convincedRepublicans to steal their own votes. That's
what happened. I need Trump notto tell people ever again to not vote.
Please, do not ever do thatagain. No, do not do
that. Your vote matters. Itdoes matter, it does matter. We
(09:03):
got more on the way. Iwas like, girl, what you're doing.
Stop. So many of America's collegesand universities today are less concerned with
critical thinking than within doctrination. Soit's no wonder that so many young Americans
embrace cancel culture, or deny freespeech to conservatives, and celebrate terrorism.
I'm happy to report that there isan American college where students debate ideas openly
and honestly, where they pursue truthtogether with their professors, and where America's
(09:26):
great heritage of liberty is studied andrevered, Hillsdale College. Hillsdale College continues
its original mission of offering the kindof serious liberal arts education needed to preserve
the blessings of civil and religious libertyacross the land. At Hillsdale College,
students grow in heart and mind bystudying timeless truths in a supportive, dedicated
community. To learn more about themission of Hillsdale College, visit Dana four
(09:46):
f R Hillsdale dot com. Thereyou will find a short video showing you
how Hillsdale's work is effective in defendingAmerican liberty not only on its Michigan and
Washington, DC campuses, but acrossthe nation. Takes some time to watch
today at day four Hillsdale dot com. That's Dana four Hillsdale dot com,
Hillsdale College, Developing Minds, improvinghearts and now all of the news you
(10:07):
would probably miss. It's time forDana's Quick five. So a passenger is
up in arms because he got kickedoff. Uh for she got kicked off
a flight, a Southwest flight forpetting a puppy. Uh. Yeah,
there was a series of clips thatanother passenger uploaded detailing this particular passenger's predicament.
(10:31):
So it happened the passenger was flyingon south West Airlines. They said,
uh, and they in the videohad an eight week old puppy named
Sidka into going from Colorado back hometo California. Uh, the puppy began
to whine a little bit. Uh. The flight attendant was checking boarding passes
and she told the passenger if theif the dog continues to make noises,
(10:52):
you may not be able to fly. Uh. And she petted the dog
to comment, which calmed it downright away. But then uh, the
she was petting it through the topof the carrier. The flight attendant said,
Oh, it has to be zippedat all times and under the seat.
Apparently they hadn't even taken off yet, like they were still people were
still boarding, and so she saidit has to be secure in the pet
(11:13):
carrier. If you don't follow,then you're gonna be I mean, she
was like saying, it has tobe zipped under the seat, then you
but your dog has to not whindall this other stuff. Long story short,
the attendant was getting was giving hersome according to the video contradictory request,
and they ended up ejecting her offthe flight. I think that's stupid.
That's so dumb. I just Ican't. This is why I say
(11:35):
I like I like dogs, butI like that woman. I feel totally
fine in saying that that's that's sogoofy. Come on, just just Australia
points a feral pig as a czaras its population. Feral hogs are a
huge problem. Balloons up to whattwenty four million? I think this is
kind of crazy because it's an AOLarticle and it's trash. It won't load,
(11:58):
So that's just we're gonna get withthat headline. Doctors could soon prescribe
a video game for ADHD. Ithink video games are helpful for a lot
of stuff. China beer maker,a worker was caught urinating in a raw
material warehouse. That's disgusting. They'reactually telling people giving them tips to prevent
hand injuries during pumpkin carving. Ijust think some people shouldn't handle knives.
(12:22):
I've seen some of these people cutvegetables. Stop it. I wouldn't trust
you with a knife for pumpkin carvingat all. They're saying, apparently that's
like a big problem, like tripsto urgent care because people cut themselves with
this. So goofy. All right, so some radio business. Most of
you don't care about inside baseball stuff. Caine, I got the false soap
(12:43):
in for the radio bathroom. I'mthe only chick here. These guys don't
care if they wash their hands withactivated charcoal. They don't care. I
do. And I'm like, oh, it's fall. I'm like doing like
my basic bitsh stuff. It's fall. We gotta have like the fall soaps
and everything. Yeah, and everyseason is a new type of soap.
(13:05):
Yeah, So I got the I'mnot I'm not advertising for these people,
so I'm not gonna but I gota tear, so I'm gonna hide the
It's Fig soap. It's Fig.I was like, everybody does like Apple
Fig. Yeah, I was.I get Christmas presents for people all year
long and then I hoard it untilChristmas because I don't like wait until last
minute to do anything. And Iwas out picking stuff up and I saw,
oh, and I like to shoplocal. And it's a Fig soap,
(13:28):
So you're gonna your hands are gonnasmell like Fig. I cannot tell
you what Cain said in response tothis, because I will probably get dropped
from a number of affiliates that.But it is the most always sunny and
Philadelphia thing you could probably have asa response. It is so politically incorrect
and hysterical. Actually, after Isaid it, I was thinking, what
(13:54):
does fig smell like? Does itsmell like fig Newton's? I don't know
fig? Am I supposed open?Do we know what fig smells? I
mean, I know what a figNewton smells, That's what I'm saying.
But am I going to I guessthat smells like fig? Like fig Newton's.
Yeah, it sells like fig.I mean, is it smell like
fall? I don't know. Imean, do I necessarily associate fig with
(14:16):
fall? I don't know, butit sounded nice because I have like melted
cheese with figs. Isn't there somethingabout figgy pudding? Yeah? Yeah,
yeah, that's like a Christmas thing. Yeah, so I'm guessing it's a
fall. So this will be anice false scent. Your hands will smell
like figs. Yay. I don'tknow what that is, but yay.
But you drink bacteria tea. Butyou're making fun of my fig so gosh.
I wish I could, Oh mygosh, it was one of the
(14:39):
funniest, craziest I wish so badlyI could tell everybody what you said celebrating
the fig soap. I don't knowwhy you're now today you're celebrating yesterday,
you were not celebrating the fig soap. That was my way of celebrating.
You're like, oh, figs soI have a unique way of celebrating.
And then he made a joke aboutwhat he was going to do after he
(15:01):
washed his hands with the fig soap. It's gonna say like, I'm I'm
easing you into the fall season,right, we don't really have a fall.
Oh sorry Europeans autumn. We caughtthe fall because the leaves fall on
the ground. Uh. And youknow, I'm just like making it a
little more, you know, autumny. Sorry, you're accusing me of being
(15:22):
a bigot. Yeah, a figot, right is what I was. And
it's very very close to what yousaid. I was making your hands.
But the figure. I celebrate thenew soap every season. I see.
You know what fig smells like?Right? You like fig newtons? How
would you describe what fig smells like? I mean, I know what it
(15:45):
sells like. I don't want toput in my mouth what no, what
it smells? That know? Whatit tastes like? Oh? Yeah,
how would you describe? How wouldyou describe the fig smell to someone?
How would you do that? Describeit it's it's like fruity trees, right,
I don't know it spells figgy.So we're gonna have a new segment
(16:06):
on the show called make Steve Describestuff. So Steve, what it smells
like fruity trees? I don't know, like fruity trees. I love it.
All right, we gotta get rolling. We have today in's Stupidity on
the way. Oh my gosh.All right, as we do, get
moving, No thanks to the figSoap. Thanks for tuning in to today's
edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Tooth podcast. If you haven't already, made sure
(16:29):
to hit that subscribe button on ApplePodcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.
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