Absurd Truth: Get Your Free COVID Tests!

More free COVID-19 tests are available to order! Meanwhile, Dana revisits the story of her Breitbart days when they confronted Media Matters.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Dana Lashes of seard Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his laugh mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida Man. All right, So how
did Florida Man has been busy?All right? First up this huh?

(00:25):
I guess it's a I'm trying tofigure out. It's Big pine Key,
Florida. It's like a semi truckpontoon. That's what I was thinking of,
a pontoon boat. And so thisguy creates a half semi truck,
half pontoon. Uh. And thiswas from w I and K news in

(00:46):
Big pine Key. He said,it doesn't get more Florida than that.
He was voting with a half semitruck, half pontoon in Big pine Key.
I'm just amazed that it doesn't sink. Uh. And he said,
just something that they did for justfor the fun of it. Once.
Got some photos of it in thesimulcast. Like that's probably one of the

(01:07):
Yeah, Florida Man claims that voicesmade him rob a dollar General twice and
actually it was more than that,and one time it was two times in
one day and then it was anotherday three days. Technically. During the
investigation, police set an employee immediatelyrecognize the suspect as a thirty one year
old Matt Pringle. They said thathe said that he heard voices, and
apparently the voices told him to goand rob the dollar store. That's pretty

(01:32):
specific, like if you hear avoice and it goes, just go rob
the dollar store, go and robit sounds. He took cash from the
registered and fled on foot. Werethey gonna what did he think they were
gonna tell him? Oh, thevoices told you. That's okay, you're
you get to go. The voicestold you to do it. You cant
do it. Tell him like oneof the voices gonna say, get an

(01:53):
education in the job, or yeah, why don't the voices ever say get
a job. That's a great point. I don't know why, but that's
some million dollar question. A Floridaman shoots an intruder who tried to break
into his home. This was onThursday. The incident occurred after midnight in
Vlucia County, according to law enforcement. They said via the Washington Examiner.

(02:15):
They said that it was twelve inthe morning, a little after midnight.
Port Orange police responded. They saidthe homeowner defended himself against the intruder,
the home invader who was trying toforcibly enter the residence the homeowner. They
said they that it's believed the homeowneracted in self defense. They were investigating
anyway, but it sounds like standyour ground right there, because you have

(02:35):
the right to defend yourself against peoplewho want to do you harm in your
home. And so it looks likethat's exactly what happened this LEOTLDS. See
I go on there. I'm notreading this one. I'm not reading this
one. This guy cannot Okay,So I got a village's story. This
seems so mean to do, liketo keep. A former employee was arrested

(02:58):
after allegedly reaching into it tip bucketnot once, but twice at a car
wash. Daniel Prevett, forty three, was arrested Friday after he was caught
on surveillance reaching into the tip bucketat the Sweetwater Cash Wash, and they
said that he was found to alsobe in possession of a controlled substance.
He apparently previously worked with the carwash. She was fired because he took
money from the tip bucket. Andthen they get about two hundred three hundred

(03:21):
dollars a day in tip money,so he went back after the same car
wash. He was fired at fortaking money out of the tipucket, and
then he took more money out ofthe tip bucket. He was booked in
a Sumpter County detention center on afour thousand dollars bond. Why like what
again? Get a job so easy? Get a job? Oh my gosh.
A woman buys a BMW with abogus check she had and adds one

(03:45):
hundred dollars tip. What Marion CountyFlorida deputies and Marion County are searching for
a Florida woman accusing accused of purchasinga BMW from an auto shop with a
fake check. She's one of hergrand theft of a motor vehicle. She
visited Baseline Autocare and then she alsoadded a one hundred dollars tip in the
memo. What oh my gosh.That it is not like a tip right

(04:09):
there? Shouldn't they be a redflag? That? Wait? What?
They tried to deposit the check becausethey're dumb, and they were told that
it was fraudulent and they contacted her. She said she'd go back to the
shop to pay for the car,but still hasn't. So they found the
BMW. They found the printers,the blank checks, and an iPad in
the trunk, So there you go. They're still looking for though. Can
I just touch on the coronavirus thingbecause I saw this tweet? Let me

(04:30):
pull this out? Who's still buyingthis? I saw this over? This
is it time? Might they wrotethis today? This is today years old?
This story quote more free COVID nineteentests are available for the holiday season.
You can order more free COVID testsfor on that home delivery. The
government is offering to send another roundof four at home virus tests. You

(04:56):
can order free free meaning we paidfor it tests. Who the hell is
still doing this? Who is stilldoing this? I have not tested myself
or done anything with it since thelast time during lockdown I had it.
And remember they said it was notlike going out in public that was driving

(05:16):
it. They said it was justlike in home stuff that people had been
that was driving it. But theysaid that government's mailing these out. They're
trying to ride off blue season andthe spike and RSV, which you knew
was coming. You knew they weregoing to do that. But they're saying
that they immunity from previous facts andnations is kept Kiscott's flower. No,
it hasn't. I mean unless youtalk about, you know, killing people.

(05:38):
Maybe I digress, censor me YouTubeYou a bunch of rat bastard fascist
thugs, censor me pound sand Yeah, they'll totally if I talk about it,
If I say the word that runswith schmivermectin, they'll demonetize me.
Kant is it suzulas? So who'sordering these? Still? Is anybody still

(06:02):
doing this? I don't know ifI've ever had it again, because I
have never cared. I didn't care. It was like a bad is a
bad cold the first time. Inever cared. No, I need to
worry about it. If you werenaturally infected and you naturally recovered, you
have natural immunity to all of thefuture variants of it as well. Unfortunately,
the vaccine doesn't do anything but damage. Hmm yeah, yeah, apparently

(06:27):
it doesn't. I'm just curious aboutthis. I mean, why are we
still doing the schmaz the shmack viensmack vien. Yeah, I can't say
vaccine because she just did it.Gosh, we're still gonna get to monetized
they're gonna pull us in, censorus and all the fingers in the air.
So I'm just you know, whyare they still pushing this now?
One of the things that's interesting tonote in Texas and the Republic of Texas,

(06:49):
they only just now. Actually itwas in June. I take that
back, so not just now,but there was this COVID Disaster declaration,
right and they kept renewing it.The governor the kept renewing it every year,
every month, and I always wonderedwhy they were renewing it. It
doesn't make sense because it grants thegovernor's sweeping powers that apparently they never used,

(07:15):
specific especially to go after some ofthese county judges and some of these
other local officials that like in myarea before we had an election that mandated
the mask wearing. I mean,I remember the Glenn Whitley was the judge
and he's been replaced, thank heavens, by Tim O'Hare, who's a fabulous

(07:38):
judge who's great in this role.But like this Glenn Whitley guy. I
remember when we were still locked down, my kids couldn't go to school.
I had a friend that had tobury her mother and she has a twin
sister had to bury her mother.Only one of the twins could go.
Only her Her sister went, andeveryone else they couldn't. She can even

(07:58):
bury her mother. And I'm watchingthese county judges, like I saw this
Glenn Whitley guy have like a partyfor one of his kids, no mask.
I saw the other Klay Jenkins,the Dallas County judge that was threatening
people with fines that they didn't weartheir masks in Dallas, he had literally
held a big backyard wedding for hisdaughter, no mask. They're pictures of
it all over. I mean,these people are absolute rat bastards who disrupted
life. Furthermore, I remember inthe state of Texas, do you guys

(08:22):
remember the raid they did raids onLike there were people who would pick up
food at this bar or would getdrinks at this bar, and then they
staged a protest and they raided them. They had a SWAT team show up
and they arrested these people. Doyou guys remember out in West Texas the
nail tech and the eyelash extension ladythat got arrested. They literally set up

(08:43):
a sting and they arrested them forviolating the quote unquote stay at home orders.
Who could forget Shelley Luther, thehairstylist who needed to keep doing what
she was doing because she was goingbroke and couldn't pay her her mortgage.
See that was the other fun facttoo. The government was talking about paying

(09:03):
everybody's leases and you're gonna have arent moratorium, but they didn't talk about
the property owners. They still hadto pay everything and taxes on top of
it. But yet they were toldthrough economic eminent domain that they couldn't go
out and earn a living. Theywere forcing people into poverty. Our government
was It's the most communist damn thingI've ever seen in the United States,

(09:24):
and Texas's government and the governor wascomplicit in it. And you can try
to dress that turn up six waysto Sunday, but it's still a pos.
At the end of the day,that action happened. That action is
garbage, and we had our Texasleadership that went along with it. So
forgive me if I don't take youknow, I just feel like, and

(09:46):
I know we're playing the endorsement game. I think that some endorsements of some
governors are worth more than others.And I've always had a good relationship with
my governor, But I'm not goingto pretend that I care about any kind
of endorsement, especially when you had, like our leaders had the ability to
weigh in and stop some of thisstuff a hell of a lot sooner than
they did, but they didn't doit because they were worried about optics.

(10:07):
Like when you only that declaration,by the way, that COVID declaration that
kept going, that kept open thesweeping powers for the executive office here in
Texas, that literally was just allowedto expire of June in June this year,
June, just this past June,this past summer. There was nothing
done to stop these county judges fromdoing this. Nothing, So you can't

(10:31):
say what was it state or localjudges? Yes, empowered by the head
of the state, because they hadthe power to do something and they didn't
do it, and they allowed theseand then they're going to and then to
try to campaign or trade influence onthe back of having done something only in
the eleventh hour, after all thefacts came out and everybody who has suffered
and been rendered bankrupt. That doesn'tdo it for me. That's like throwing

(10:52):
somebody a life raft after they've alreadydrowned. Politics is a dirty game,
and there are too many cowards inthis game, and a lot of them
are Republicans in Texas. There isno sacred cow to me. I don't
give a rats ass about being yourfriend. I get enough campaign donation solicitations
and everybody else to paper my damnoffice. I don't care. But let's

(11:15):
be honest about stuff. Especially whenyou're trying to trade on influence with things,
and you're trying to influence people inan election, you know, you
kind of want to make sure thatmaybe maybe you should worry about your own
influence in your own state. Afterpeople were arrested, after there were legit
sting operations to Bush to bust eyelashextension people, Oh, they violated the

(11:39):
sacred stay at home order. Iremember people had to actually like be very
very public and getting Abbot to getinvolved in Sholley Luther's case. And it
was dan Patrick that paid her fines. By the way, it wasn't Paxton,
and it wasn't Abbot. For allthe people who went to bat for
Paxton, it was Dan Patrick.And I've gone round and around with him

(12:00):
for gun stuff. It was himhe was the one who paid for her.
Fine. Not everyone's perfect. Idon't expect people to be, but
by god, when you've got theevidence out there and it's twenty three,
twenty twenty three in June, andyou're still like going with these these declaration
orders for COVID, Are you seriouswith me? Right? Now? Come
on, come on, and nowall of the news you would probably miss.

(12:22):
It's time for Dana's Quick five.All right, So first up,
has your four oh one K?Has it decreased? Diminished significantly? Average
Americans are finding their retirement balance hasfallen four percent as more and more people
are dipping into their life savings tomake ends meet. But hey, we're

(12:43):
told that that biden aconomy has beenworking wonder so just suck it up and
love it. Nothing's wrong, Everything'sgreat, right, everything's wonderful. Hunter
can still go and buy his expensivesports cars, and he can still have
his pad in Malibu, and Bidencan still have two three different houses.
It doesn't matter. They're good,so shouldn't you be. Dogs are coming
down with an unusual respiratory illness inseveral US states. This story, coming

(13:07):
from the AP, says that vetsare in several states are saying that take
precautions to keep your pets healthy.Oregon, Colorado, and New Hampshire.
They've seen cases of this respiratory illnessand pneumonia that doesn't respond to antibiotics.
And they say that dogs will coughand they sneeze, and they have nasal
and eye discharge and are lethargic.And they said some dogs are really really

(13:28):
sick within twenty four to thirty sixhours. They said in Oregon alone,
there's been more than two hundred casesof this since mid August. So people
are told to contact their vets,just you know, smart about They said,
just be smart about your dogs andbe proactive because they can get sick
too, just as people do.If you buy cantilope, apparently there's a
recall. Daily caller says there's arecall of salmonella outbreak across fifteen states because

(13:50):
of cantalops pre cut canalopes can.I ask why in the world people buy
pre cut fruit? Why do youjust love burning money? You just like
setting your money on fire. Isee like like pre cut fruit, like
pineapple slices, and I see,did you? I mean there's like pre
cut apple slices, pre cut apple. What in the world did you know

(14:13):
what this is? How rum fell? It felt just like this, just
like this. Centers for z blahblah blah SADC. They said that salmonella
outbreak across fifteen states. There havebeen seventeen hospitalizations and forty three illnesses related
to just this since Friday. Arizona, Minnesota, Missouri, Texas, Nebraska
was constin Illinois, Kentucky, Ohio, Virginia, Georgia, Oklahoma, Washington,
Maryland, and California are all thestates that have reported this. The

(14:37):
tainted candilopes have been sold at variousretailers to main brands. They said that
the forty fifties, according to thereport, the Malachita, the whole canalopes
and many They said that some ofthese the pre cut version Vineyard brand,
they're cantilop cubes, melon medleys andfruit medleys and Oklahoma stores and all the
apparently has sold some. So justyou know, look at your free and

(15:00):
don't buy pre slice fruit because thatkind of that stuff happens. Apparently Snoop
Dogg is not smoking pot anymore andweed stocks are hit. Are you serious?
Good grief? A teenage grocery bagger. Started working at Kroger and is
processing a lot of returns. Intwo weeks, discovered they nearly a million
dollars was missing. This is ateenage grocery bagger, and this was started

(15:24):
working at Kroger processing all these returns. Took a million dollars in two weeks.
He spent in two weeks, hetook a million dollars. How do
you not notice that in two weeks? How do you not notice a million
dollars going out like all these returns. Oh my gosh, somebody is not
paying attention. Trey Brown nineteen andso he bought guns, cars and clothes

(15:45):
is what he bought. We've beentalking about everything with Media Matters. I
tweeted out a fun flashback of whenAndrew Breibart, Mike Flinn, and myself
who Mike Flynn ran big government,I ran big journalism. We dropped in
for Media Matters nine to ninety andwe scared David Brock half to death when

(16:07):
we showed up and he ran forthe elevators and Andrew blocked him. It
was one of the funniest things ever. And we took Mike Flynn because Mike
Flynn if you never knew Mike Flynn, who edited Big Government, he was
the most American irishman I've ever met. And he hated everything about DC.
He hated it, and he waslike this old gumshoe reporter. He was

(16:30):
very old school. I mean,he wasn't old, but he was very
old school. And he and Andrewboth passed since and Mike had a gravelly
voice. I've never seen him withoutActually, this video, I think is
the only time I've ever seen himwithout a cigarette. He's just like an
old school reporter. He worked inDC, hated DC, knew everything about
DC, knew everybody's dirty secrets.He knew everything about everybody. He could

(16:53):
tell you something about the most obscureperson in DC that you think nobody knows.
And he knew everything to ask about, you know, tax structures and
everything else. So the nine ninetywhat that is is a form that certain
quote unquote nonprofits have to have onhand by demand, that anybody can walk
in and ask for. And itwas just really, I mean, it
was just nuisance. We were justthere to we were trolling them, we

(17:15):
were just there to ANOI and wewere actually driving in a vehicle. I
can't remember what road it was on, but it was right outside Media Matters
Washington, DC headquarters. And wewere in a vehicle. And when I
tell people like whenever I criticized bythe way Steve Vannon, and people are
like, oh, that's so mean. I've known him for over a decade,
so I can say that. Buthe was driving the vehicle actually,
So we were in the vehicle withhim, and it was us three.

(17:37):
Andrew asked if we wanted to takea field trip to Media Matters, and
we had no idea what that wasgoing to entail, but in the car
he came up with the idea orMike did, of asking about the nine
ninety. So in the middle ofa road we were driving down, and
Andrews saw David Brock walking with hisI guess bodyguards because David Brock's like three
foot four. And saw David Brocksilver hair, always looks like he's tweaking,

(18:00):
probably because the cocaine. Allegedly,and uh per Daily caller uh And
saw him walking down the street andscreams to stop. The car stop,
the car, car stops. Weall pile out of the back in the
middle of a damn road like inthe middle of a road in DC,
in the middle of a week dayat noon, and he's yelling, Tane,
are you recording? Are you recording? I'm trying to record. You

(18:21):
know how difficult it is record whilerunning, and then also following to Andrew,
and I've never seen him run thatfast in his ever loving life.
And it was the funniest thing I'veever seen. Uh. As we were
running up to David Brock, youcould put it in slow mo. David
Brock sees us coming. And Andrewwas not small. He was a tall
dude, and he was, youknow, he wasn't exactly like athletically shaped.

(18:45):
And he sees Andrew and and Mikeand I trailing Mike with a cigarette.
I still and trailing him, andI'm trying to record and keep it
study as Andrew's turning back, yellingat me, making sure I'm recording,
and you can see David David's face. He sees Andrew, and at first
it's like who is this strange confusion, like who is this running towards me?
And then it just goes blank,and then the terror creeps in and

(19:08):
he realizes that it's Andrew Breybark barrelingtowards him as fast as his California lace
could take him. And then atthat point, David and all the dudes
that were with him, we allrun towards the Media Matter door at the
front door at the exact same time, and David Brock is trying to race
back to the elevator to go upto their Media Matter's floor, and it's

(19:30):
one of those elevators we have tohave the fob to get through and all
that. And Andrew was not goingto allow that to happen, so we
all race back. David Brock runsinto the elevator. He's in a corner,
his lackeys are in front of him, and Andrew just casually stops.
He's so out of breath, andhe's leaning up in the open door of
the elevator, so the elevator doorcan't close, and at some point the
little bear but alarm sounds and he'sout of breath and he's like, so

(19:52):
hi, David, and he takeshim in it. And then Mike finally
catches up. I think they madehim stay and he threw away a cigarette.
I'm not kidding. And then hecatches up and he's like, yeah,
we're here for the nine ninety,and it was just hysterical, so
we would it was so anti climatic, But it was funny in that,
I mean, who does that?That was your job? Like you just
drop in on you know, MediaMatters and you troll them and you demand

(20:14):
their nine ninety because they're rat bastardsand you all act like, you know,
you're all supposed to be civil inthe public square. They've tried to
ruin people's lives at Media Matters,so and it's funny they brought it out.
Andrew and I, I'm gonna bereal because I was in my twenties.
That was in my late twenties,I think, or maybe I was
thirty when this happened. We Andrewand I legit had no idea what the
hell we were looking for. Imean, I'm super young. I was

(20:38):
the youngest person at the company.It was me and Ben Shapier were the
youngest people of the company. Ihad no idea what to look for.
Andrew honestly had no idea what tolook for. Mike did. He was
the one. And it was hystericalbecause they bring in the nine ninety and
he's holding it and he's flipping throughit like, yes, yes, he's
looking at it. I mean justreally short thing. It was like two
pages. He was looking at itlike, and Andrew's like, oh,
yes, this looks on the upand I no, oh, I dea

(21:00):
what. It was hysterical, butMike knew exactly what he was looking for.
But it was funny. That's whatwe did. That's what we did.
So flashback to media matters because theyhave made so Musk said that it's
going to be a quote thermonuclear lawsuit. My only sadness is that we can't
donate to it. That's my onlysadness, you know, like to just
be able to pitch in and delivera kick that would be so epic.

(21:25):
But I had to share this becausethat was one of the funniest I'm like,
that was our time. And thenafter night we went to lunch.
It's this hysterical like we dove outin the middle of a busy, busy,
busy road in downtown d C.Traffic everywhere. It was like playing
Frogger. People honked at us.I think Mike almost got hit, but
he looked so mean and grizzled thatnobody dared try it was just funny.
It was too funny, But Ihope that Thermo nuclear lawsuit goes through.

(21:48):
Thanks for tuning into today's edition ofDana Lash's Absurd Footh podcast. If you
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