Absurd Truth: Thanksgiving Protests, Meats of Choice & More

Pro-Palestinian protesters blocked the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and their messages don’t add up. Meanwhile, The Dana Show recaps their holiday.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his life mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida man and irate. Florida man whacked
a man with a leaf blower aftera fender bender, say deputies. This
took place in Lake County, Florida. A Florida man found himself behind bars.

(00:23):
He hitted this dude with a leafblower after they had a little fender
dust up. Patrick Edison, sixty, was arrested in charge with burglary with
battery and criminal mischief after the incidentthat unfolded on hibiscus driving Leithburg on late
Saturday morning. Deputies were called tothe scene of the crime and the victim
said he was trying to operate aGPS while driving and it caused his work

(00:46):
truck to hit a trailer attached toanother truck, and then that forced it
to collide with another vehicle and that'swhen he as When Edison apparently ran out
of his house armed with a leafblower, he was irate bashed the leaf
blower into the hood of the man'struck. The victim opened the door to
was truck. Edison met him atthe driver's side. The man tried to
tell him calm down, but that'ssomething that you don't tell either women or

(01:07):
this Edison fellow, and he wasstocked with the leaf blower in response,
and then he was trying to climbinto the guy's truck while hitting him in
the face. So there was witnesses. He's in Lake County Jail, where
he remains on twenty six thousand dollarsbond. Yeah, you can't be doing
that kind of stuff, all right, this one, well, it's a

(01:29):
story. This is the village's Yes, a villager sentenced in a chair throwing
disturbance at a Lake Sumter Landing restaurant. A villager. That's literally how they
described them, like. It's literallyit's like the NPCs from Minecraft. They

(01:49):
were sentenced in a chair throwing disturbance. Peter Hannatt, fifty four, of
the village of Chatham, pleaded nocontest earlier this month battery trespassing. He
showed up after closing time at RJ. Gator's restaurant he'd been permanently banned just
a month prior. He walked intothe from the patio area and when he

(02:09):
couldn't get in, he decided tohave a tantrum and start throwing all the
chairs in the patio, all ofthem, and an employee walked outside told
him to leave, and then Hannat, who is five feet eleven and ways
two hundred twenty five pounds, pushedthe dude and then threw more chairs.
It was all captured on video.Why would you do that? Like it
means sometimes their clothes, Dude,just come earlier, you know what I

(02:30):
mean? Like you don't need tobe getting yourself a permanent record and going
to jail and all this stuff overit. A woman trying to eat counterfeit
bills as the cops arrested her toMiami Dade Airport, Sorry to Miami Dade
Walmart. Police say she was tryingto pay lost prevention. Officers caught her
and she tried to eat them realquick before they could take the evidence.

(02:53):
That's not going to happen, notgonna happen at all, they said,
Zipporah Abraham, she's thirty eight yearsyearsold, and uh, yeah, you
can't she. I mean they shetried to eat like hundreds of dollars worth
of counterfeit bills. That's crazy.They were trying to stop her. She

(03:13):
just kept nomenal like cookie monts arethere at the checkout. She tried to
eat them all and they had tolike grab them try to fish them out
of her mouth. That's so gross. Don't do that. That's so nasty,
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l t Ec Weapons dot com.Tell them, Dana, sn't you did
everybody have a relatively good Thanksgiving?Everybody had great Thanksgiving? Yeah? I

(05:05):
didn't hear any stories about people havingfights at the Thanksgiving table. Everybody?
Did you watch the Thanksgiving Day parade. I know, people keep it.
It was It's always horrible. Iliked the when I was a kid and
they had the misshapen floats and theweird terrifying characters. Go back and look
at some of the stuff, likein the early nineties and late eighties of

(05:26):
the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. There'ssome terrifying things there. My mom said
it was even more terrifying in theseventies. So because it just you know,
I guess the tech wasn't there rightto have like really nice looking looking
floats. But they had some terrorists. Where's this app that decide? Were
they pro Hamas people, were theyclimate people? I don't know, they're

(05:46):
all I mean, they pulled usup. They glued themselves to the street
to try to disrupt the parade.Oh, they were the pro Hamas people.
They were chanting on about the quoteunquote liberation of a fictional country.

(06:06):
There is no I mean, thecountry is as fictional as the occupationists.
But they said thirty protesters, thirtythirty criminals jumped over barricades. Hamas terrorist
lovers jumped into the street where theparade was occurring, and they very smartly
glued them. I would have justripped them off. Just leave your fingerprints

(06:28):
behind. They glued themselves to thestreet. I'm not kidding, Like,
if you're going to be that stupidto do it, then that sucks for
you. They said that the demonstratorscovered themselves in red liquid, they wore
white jumpsuits. They had words capitalism, consumerism. I'm sure they recorded everything
with their capitalist consumer phones, right, I'm sure they had to purchase things

(06:50):
for their protest right to make theirprotests happen. In order to make their
protest happen, the protest tours hadto engage in capitalism and consumerism. Don't
tell me that they made the paintand they actually made the paper themselves,
and they made the shoes that they'rewearing and the tech that they're wearing.
But they got is that the McDonald's. They got in front of the McDonald's

(07:11):
car. You had a weird lookinggrimace sitting in the car as a weird
looking grimace, this purple thing sittingin the car, and the McDonald's people
are like what and these people aregluing themselves to the street. Just rip
them off and let it continue.That's simple. It's super easy to do,
man, just have it be likethat, super easy. In fact
audio somebody thirteen. Here's the videoslash audio the pro Homas people gluing themselves

(07:35):
to sixth Avenue. All right,because the fictional company and our point of
the two separate things of him.Why is there like a watermelon and a
sunflower? Is that supposed to meansomething? Is this a troll where people

(07:56):
getting trolled? This is like thelamest protest. This is like, that's
the leamest thing I've ever seen.So they have a very confusing sign.
Their messaging is all over the place. Let's grade them, Okay, let's
grade them like Simon Cole would.So first off, I don't even understand
the white jumpsuit thing. That's juststupid. Number one. Number two,
their sign said free the fictional countryPalestine and the planet because apparently they're two

(08:22):
separate things. Throwback to New Kidson the block. With their lyric,
we met a lot of people andgirls like they're two separate things. And
then on the sign on the bannerthey had a piece of watermelon and a
cornflower. Kane any ideas here?No, I have no idea. It

(08:43):
painted Palestine in red letters, isthat supposed to be a crescent or something.
Is that why they picked a watermelonidea a crescent, a green crescent
holding blood red because that would make, you know, sense or do they
just enjoy those two items? Werethey were? They told, hey,
for free, you can put twoemojis on here, and they just did

(09:07):
it for free, like you getyou know, with included in the price
of this banner you can throw upthere two emojis and they're like, okay,
well we love watermelon and then maybesome cornflowers that are blue with the
planet in it. I don't knowright, it hurts to try and figure
it out. I'm really on thestruggle bus with this one. So they

(09:28):
want to liberate a fictional country,like literally a fictional country, and then
also our planet, liberate the planetfrom what their stupidity perhaps, I don't
know, but that's the lamest floatthat was there. That was the lamest
thing. I would have boot them. Boom, you're boring, blank your
protests booze, totally not entertaining atall. Did they get free candy to

(09:52):
the kids? Nope? You knowwhat they should have done, They should
have tried to kidnap kids that weresitting there watching it and then had their
parents beat them in the street.That would have been an amazing float that
now, I that would have beeninteresting and it would have probably been much
more like real life too. ButI don't understand their whole protest. They
glued themselves to the street. Ifyou glue your hands to the street,
rip it off, super simple,like vulcra. Just you know, if

(10:16):
you're gonna be dumb like that,go ahead. So that that took place
over That was at the Macy's Dayparade, and I did watch the Dog
Show after. I did watch theWest as much of it as I could,
But you know, I watched someof the Dog put I just don't
understand. And apparently they they triedthe same people they tried interrupting the Nantucket

(10:39):
Christmas tree lighting. There was anotherChristmas tree lighting that they that the pro
Hamas people apparently tried to interrupt aswell. What do they have against the
Christmas thing? Lorraine says that theuh the pro Hamas group is that they
are similar to the just Stop Oilpeople who are morons. The just Stop

(11:00):
Oil people text yeah, yeah,yeah, they're pro Hamas. I love
the just Stop Oil people. Withtheir shoes made of petroleum. They're clothes
made with petroleum, driving in theirvehicles, their phones. Literally they're there
because of petroleum. But they hateit except when they love it so amazing.
And now all of the news youwould probably miss. It's time for

(11:24):
Dana's Quick five. All right,So first up, this American Indian group
sues the NFL and the team owner. This is interesting all over the Redskins
name, the name change. Theywant to restore it. Yeah, it's
not what you think it is.There is a rival Native American organization that
says that they did this all improperlyand they changed it to its dumb name,

(11:48):
and we want it back. Andthey said that they were huge Redskin
fans. Our members were because theywere they were the Redskins. That was
like the name of a warrior people. That's a bunch of white progressive communists
that don't understand American Indian history,and so they want to project all of
their ignorance onto certain things and reallyappropriate the meaning of words for minorities.

(12:11):
That's what white communists do. Theywant to sit here and say, well,
we think that this is offensive,so we're gonna appropriate the true meaning
of this term and project our interpretationon it, our stupid white communist interpretation
on it, and steal it fromAmerican Indians. That's what happened with this
name, and all of these stupid, weak, puny commies out there went

(12:31):
with it. They said that nineand ten Native Americans were not offended by
the Redskins name because they're not stupidlike the white communists are that want to
pretend to be upset over everything.Gosh, I hate communism. Also,
I'm gonna get really mad about thatsome bookmark, that one you could buy.
Okay, I don't want to likeget into like Dusty Hills life.

(12:52):
He's easy top. But I wouldnot if you would have asked me what
would Dusty Hills house look like?I would not have pictured this amazing four
and a half million dollars stunning homein Texas hill country. But that's exactly
I mean. It is gorgeous looking. It is, so it's a pretty
I mean it's like modern looking andit's glass and metal, and you know
it's their late Basis and his wife. It hit the market for four and

(13:15):
a half million. It's in CollegeStation, it's on the market. On
the market is beautiful. I don'tknow why I thought that they would have
had like a rockabilly type of house. I don't even know what that looks
like. But you know that's whatDusty Hill's house, and he's allowed to
where they live, so it's gorgeoushouse anyway. You know you're gonna have
some history there. You're can needbuy his house? People are they said,
I love this stupid story. They'renow trying to say that people are

(13:37):
leaving Texas over rising costs, partisanpolitics, and a sense of disenchantment.
Yes, please leave, go aheadand go. That's right, go ahead
and leave, get out, goahead and go. There's no raising.
They just like there's and it's all, Uh, it's all leftists that are
in a reddit sub thread a subredditabout leaving Texas. It's all a bunch

(13:58):
of whiny baby progress. Bye.Please go. You're right, it's bad
here, so bad. Don't staymuch bad so discontent. New reports as
housing prices have increased nine hundred andtwenty five percent since nineteen sixty. That's

(14:18):
insane, because you know, afterWorld War Two, people bought a ball
house they stayed in raise their familyused to be able to buy it.
I know your wasted to INCREASEE ninehundred and twenty five percent, But that's
the USBU of Liberal statistics pricing forhousing nine hundred and twenty seven percent higher
in twenty three versus sixty seven.Stay with us a lot more in store.

(14:39):
Cain and I were talking about Thanksgiving. We ate all our turkey.
We only have a little bit ofpumpkin pie left. How long should one
have leftovers? I mean I realizedthat like three days tops. But see
this is why I'm like, maybe, like I don't know, like a
couple of days after Thanksgiving, youmake another thing, because I just feel

(15:00):
like to have one Thanksgiving Day meallike that Thanksgiving two electric boogleo. Yeah,
Thanksgiving to electric boogloo. I justI could eat Thanksgiving. I hate
turkey, but I love it onThanksgiving. I don't know what it is
wet Like the gravy was the firstthing to go. I am serious about
the gravy man, and I madegood gret I got good gravy. I
make go gravy and I that's likethe first thing to go. The mashed

(15:22):
potatoes mashtato It's like you can,I'll make a whole big bucket of them.
Yeah, I mean, like adozen big rescid potatoes. Boil them
all. Why do they go sofast? Gone? It doesn't matter how
much you could make. You couldmake all the potatoes in the world and
pounds of mashed potatoes, and that'slike the first thing to go. And

(15:43):
then the next day there's only likea little smidge a little smattering of the
mashed potatoes left. And then yougot to divide equally between everybody who wents
and mash. But and that's alie, because you know, whoever wields
the spoon is the person that makesthat to you know. So I don't
know, man, I'm just Iwas. I felt like there wasn't enough

(16:03):
of it because you got to havethe construction on the plate, you know
what I'm saying, Like, yougotta you have your mashed potatoes. You
gotta make the crater for the reservoirof gravy. But then I take it
a step further came and the constructionof my dish. So yeah, so
I have the mashed potato reservoir,okay, and then I have the turkey,
and then I will very carefully constructthe reservoir. But I just dump

(16:25):
all the gravy on my turkey,like, just dump it. I have
two gravy boats always. Every year. I gotta have two gravy boats because
I don't share with the south endof the table. The south end of
the table is on its own.You people are on your own, okay,
the north end of the table,it's where it's at. That's where,
you know, we get our owngravy boat. You get your own
gravy boat. That way, youknow, we don't share. The gravy
does not pass the invisible border ofthe north and South table. Yeah,

(16:49):
I'm telling you so, you know. And I mean, like halfway through
the meal, I'm like, whyis there like a like literally a quarter
of the gravy left of this boat? What's happening? What is happening with
this? So okay with that.But for Christmas, though, you're into
more of a ham thing and nota Turkey thing, right, Yeah,
but I could do turkey too.Sometimes we do both. So could Christmas

(17:11):
be like the Turkey Thanksgiving to electric? Yeah? But then we got people
who are weirdos and I'm not goingto name names. There's some people who
sit at the south end of thetable and they're psychos and their taste buds
change and they only want ham forChristmas. They're communists. It seems like
you talk about someone specific, butyeah, uh huh, I'm talking about
somebody very specific. Somebody's very specific. That's correct. Interesting. So I'm

(17:36):
just you know, I don't know, and you got to have great because
you can't really do gravy with ham, right you can't. Yeah, one
last quick thing, you know,you also know what kind of gravy is
really good? Right now? Chocolategravy. Chocolate gravy. Have you never
heard of chocolate gravy? Isn't thatjust melted chocolate? Yes? And no?
How have you never heard of it? I'm today years old. My
kids had never heard of it.And I was like, I have failed

(18:00):
as a parent, Like I've preparedyou for everything else in life. Chocolate
grit and I've heard of chocolate sauce, chocolate drizzle, melted chocolate, chocolate
fudge, all the different types ofchocolates. We've grown up with knowing and
loving what is chocolate gravy? SoI would make my grandma always made around
the holidays for the grandkids chocolate gravyand just drop biscuits. Right, and

(18:23):
so good. And it's basically likemilk gravy with chocolate. Seriously. Yeah,
now I'm really curious. Yeah,it's so good. It's so I
mean, you can use it withIt goes on everything. Yeah, like
Frick's Red Hot. Yeah, it'slike Frank's Red Hot. It's like the
gravy version of Frank's Red Hot.For real. It legit goes on everything.

(18:45):
It's so good. But yeah,look it up. If you've never
done it, look up chocolate gravy. You are welcome. That's free for
you. That's a service I haveprovided. I'm serving my country right now.
Chocolate gravy. Two words. Everythingis amazing with it. You're welcome,
Kane. We're gonna make some now, sure, why not? I
think I will. I mean,I'm curious enough to do it. So

(19:07):
good, Oh my gosh. Allright, today's stupidity. All right,
this is Karine Jean Pierre just anhour or so ago, claiming this about
the economy. One please, Thefact is the data shows that the economy
is improving. What the data showsthat households remain in a strong financial position.
Households are down two trillion over thelast two years, where Are they

(19:29):
getting this from the data does notshow what she's saying in shows? Did
they actually purchase their own groceries forThanksgiving? Did they purchase their own groceries?
Do they know how much things we'regoing for this year? Apparently not.
Thanks for tuning into today's edition ofDana Lash's Absurd Youth podcast. If
you haven't already, made sure tohit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts,

(19:52):
Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts