Absurd Truth: Dana's Artwork Reprisal

The Dana Show wants to try to see if they can draw artwork similar to Hunter Biden and make millions. Meanwhile, Dana hides her phone in a secret Faraday bag after her content from YouTube got taken down.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his laugh mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida man. Hm hm oh. Let's
see here, man. I gota couple, I got, I gotta,

(00:23):
I can't. There's one I wantto read, but I don't know
if I have the courage to doit yet. So we'll come back.
But let's talk about this airbnb host, shall we. Airbnb host was shocked
after finding a Florida man hiding underher bed. What so uh? The
airbnb host found a Florida man hidingunder the bed in a Union unit,

(00:48):
I said to her. But ashe was cleaning up after a guest's stay,
Luis Lopez showed the moment that hespotted the Florida man. The police
had to get involved. He didn'tpress charges, but it's fun because it's
on video. And he was cleaningthis unit and he discovered the dude under
the bed with his phone plugged underthe charger, and Luis goes, you
got to get out from under thebed, bro, this isn't our Airbnb.

(01:11):
I mean it's on video. He'slike recording the guy under the bed
with his phone charging and then youput up a second video where police had
to deal with the problem because theguy would leave. And so he said
that the guests who stayed in theunit had let this guy in and then
allowed him to remain there when theyhad left. And so because he never
broke in, the guy like neverpressed charges. He said, they let
him in there and then they left, and so he stayed there and tried

(01:34):
to hide, and so he goes. I did take it up with the
renter and we're getting that under control. I thought that was a nice way
that he'd you know, although he'sa dude. Can I just say that
this is a dude. He's alarger dude, and he's got the luxury
of that if that had been awoman, that dude had been pumped full
of lead, because a woman isnot going to sit here and take that.
I'm saying, you don't know,like, can you give me a

(01:55):
can you give me some kind ofaffirmation that you're not gonna rate me,
you know what I mean? Like, So I'm glad that he was able
to take care of it. We'regonna have to start widening Florida Man here
to include Florida Bear. Wp TVFlorida. Bear swipes a forty five dollars
top. It's an expensive taco bellorder a forty five dollars taco bell order

(02:19):
from a porch after an Uber Eatsdelivery. Now this bear walked up to
the porch, stole their money,came back for the soda. Not even
making this up Longwood, Florida.I mean, it's not a bear straight
up came up, captured on thedoorbell camera. He went right up,
grabbed the bag in his mouth.Then he came back and took the soda.

(02:39):
He took all of it. UberEats reimburst them for the bear.
Man, I I man, Idon't know. I just find that hysterical.
This is like the Fifth Story andthe two months that we had where
a bear is eating stuff, drinkingsomebody's beer doing this. Man, those
bears with Florida a while. Forthe for the last hour on break,

(03:07):
I was made myself sick high ona sharpie. Basically, this is powerful
when I whenever I have a wheneverI have books come out, and I
go through almost a half a boxof these things and I sign I have
to sign books at a book event. I mean, after a while,
those fumes, kitchen you got,but not in a good way. I
mean, you're just so. Iwas wondering because you know, I'm so

(03:30):
artistic, and I thought, well, I bet I could draw a picture
of Caine. I mean, what'sthe difference between us and a Hunter Biden?
You know what I mean? AndCrack Well, yeahsides, Well,
he's a boy and uh he's amale and also on watts on the drugs
and growth cookers, infant baby son. Yeah, he's probably the only old

(03:53):
dude that is to like. Theytry to act like he's younger than us,
and then of course don't forget he'sPresident's son, merches out the elected
office, all those good things.So I drew a picture. I've not
shown this to Kane. I waslike, why, I bet I could
draw a picture of Kane. Yeah. I was getting excited about it.
And I feel like I'm at likesix Flags or some sort of theme park
where you pay the person to kindof sketch you. You know, you

(04:15):
sit there at the don't get yourhopes up. Okay, I'm just saying,
you know, although I'm super artisticto believe that, I don't believe
anything. There's certain things I cando drawing, well, I can.
Let's just say I can master anything. This is a Renaissance master piece.
Really, it's a masterpiece. SoI did this, I in my defense,

(04:38):
just to say, just to addthe perspective, no perspective. Okay,
you're in the dark over there.True. So it was hard to
get your visage what your visage gotit? So I drew a picture of
you. I think the likeness isamazing. That actually not accurate at all.

(04:58):
No, it looks just like itlooks just like you. We got
For the people watching the simulcast,he's always in like a hoodie of some
sort. I can't really do shouldersor arms that well, it's still a
Renaissance masterpiece. He's got headphones onhis eyes. I can't draw eyes totally
great, but you know, it'sstill a Renaissance masterpiece. The facial hair

(05:19):
was a little tricky, so Ijust put it all there where the facial
hair is supposed to go, thelower face portion, right. Got the
he's got the headphones, the hisKansity wears for radio. It's over his
hair. He's got the core.Look at the cord I did. I
did a cord for those not ableto detail. I know the attention to

(05:40):
I got the buttons on your shirt. I got the cord that goes.
I mean it looks literally just likeHolden. What is that? What are
those words at the bottom? Readit for the audience that's listening at home,
brought to you by probiotics it uhgee. I think that this is
probably worth a million dollars. I'dsay it's more than that. I mean

(06:01):
I might be a little biased.Yeah, I think it's I think it's
worth a million dollars. Completely okaywith the fact that it doesn't look anything
like me, but yeah, no, it does. It looks totally like
you. That is your shirt.I'm okay with that. Wand will agree.
That's a shirt. That's a shirt. That's your shirt, Kane,
your that's your outfit. I don'twant to break the news. Those are
scribbles on paper. That's not scribbles. It's Renaissan. That's artistry of stinky

(06:26):
sharpie on paper. That's what thatis. It's and it's your face.
I got your nose. Your noseis there? Your eyebrows? Yeah,
those aren't exaggerated either, they're not. I can see them your eyes and
eyebrows or anything that includes eyes.I guess you have a problem with no.
I mean, did you want meto draw something with your eyes?
I mean you mean accurate? Huh? Do you mean? Do I want

(06:47):
you to be more accurate with it? You know? What? Should I
use? The Christmas car? TheGreg abbits to me, Greg Abbits,
and that's a Christmas car? Igot it? Siate the governor for that.
Yeah, he says, very nice. They send us to Christmas.
I said, I don't know.I'm awkward. Can you tell like I
was? I was raised with y'all, I wasn't raised with them all.

(07:10):
I'm like, and they send usa Christmas card? I don't have any
more paper otherwise. I maybe it'ssomething I can do. But I think,
I mean, if you're comparing itto Hunters, finished better than anything
Glenn Beck would, better than GlennBeck's work right here? Get that masterpiece.
So how do we get the biddingstarted? Is what I'm wondering,

(07:30):
because I think we should have starteda million dollars. You think the starting
should be. Yeah, at amillion, I mean, I'm sure we're
gonna get tons right out of thegags, like right, I didn't even
spit on it. A million dollars. A million dollars Who wouldn't want this
Renaissance masterpiece came? Probably if you'dspit it probably worth a million. Maybe,
yeah, I mean maybe you knowwhat we should do? We should

(07:54):
uh we should maybe gift it toone of the people that's in the YouTube
chat. Oh as like know,because it's like a million dollars we're gifting
to you right here, hand drawnon break by me. Brain cells were
damaged by the SHARPI scent of thisimage. Yeah, it's pretty. It's

(08:15):
like, what are they put inthis? This is wild? Like it's
one marker and it felt we're alllike dizzy. It filled at the whole
studio. It's one marker. Butuh, I like it a lot.
I think the bidding at a millionmight be a little much to start a
bid, but I'm on board.This is a man. Did you see
my attention to detail in the background, right, the crosshatch detail in the

(08:39):
background. I didn't spit through astraw. See, the bidens could easily
you know what, Democrats could easilyprove to me right now that him getting
a million dollars for a painting isdue to his I mean, they it's
not due to his name or anythingelse. They could do that right now,
because this is better than his stuff. This has form and it looks

(09:00):
like something absolutely and it has meaningbecause it says Caine, it means Caine
up at the top. Clearly asponsored message as well, brought to you
a big pro biotic who doesn't sponsorus, but I think secretly they do.
Can't, but I mean this theycould. Democratic Democrat could give me
a million dollars for this right now, and that would take care of any

(09:22):
suspicions I have that Democrats defending HunterBiden's work that it wasn't just because they
weren't a money laundering thing. Somillion dollars it is starting bid. Now.
You know we could also again andyou know, I could gift it
to somebody in in the in thechat, I'm just saying, you know,
we could gift it to somebody amillion dollar donation, a million dollar

(09:45):
Christmas gift right here tis the Christmasseason. I mean, I'm just it's
just it is. There's no wayI can display this, but I'm going
to set it right here on thethe thing. So there you got right
there. That's pure talent. Iam actually impressed I worked. Really,
it took me. It took mean hour to shave your upper lip where
I heard that. I didn't stealit. I didn't biden it from Napoleon

(10:09):
Dynamite at all. I didn't bidenit from that at all, not at
all. But for real though,like I mean, it's normal to draw
pictures for your friends and have themgive you millions of dollars for it,
right is it though? And yeah, how it's that's normal. That happens
all that. You guys deal withthat in your friendships, right with the

(10:31):
bidens. No, I've even playedMonopoly with friends, and they haven't.
They don't even I don't play Monopolywith friends. They don't hand over many
I won't have any for stuff likethat. It's bandit. We can't play
Monopoly in our house. It alwaysends with tears and threats of litigation.
Never, it's never gonna huhuh.And we play risk, and it ends
with usually I because I will dominatein risk, I will dominate. I

(10:54):
will risk own souls teens. Ihaven't played risk since I was in my
teens. You know what else?You haven't played a little bit Warhammer?
Okay? And now all of thenews, you would probably miss it's time
for Dana's Quick five. So peoplewill with children live longer, says a
new study, But only if youhave this many kids. Yeah, so

(11:16):
the whole dink thing, the dinkydinks, double income, no kids.
They are dinks who prefer changing timezones by traveling the world as supposed to
changing diapers. Study from University inMichigan suggests that parenting actually can extend your
life expectancy to longer. And theysaid, however, you know, there
is kind of a limit. Youknow, you can't have like a having

(11:37):
like more undercuts the benefits, accordingto their survey. So they said that
if you have what like two kids, that that seems to be a pretty
good job. That's a pretty gooddeal. Two to three. I think
you're all full of it. Idon't care. Just do what makes you
happy, right, as long asyou take care of it. You don't
go on don't permanently live on welfare, all right. The nation's largest pharmacy

(11:58):
chain, cb Kroger and write Aidapparently. Washington Post has reported that they
could hand prescription records to police andgovernment investigators without a warrant. According to
a Congressional Investigation. Information is thenew oil. It is. Think about
it. Good grief. Oh,this was in Missouri. It's at Panda

(12:20):
It's just this is what we callPanda Express. A dude is accused of
stabbing a Panda expressworker over food quality. Dude, you're at a panda Why
are you get on mad? Itwas in Richmond Heights. Cain a dude,
Yeah, Panda in Richmond Heights.Yeah, cane from Saint Louis.
In case you're just tuning in,A dude's accused of stabbing this Panda Express

(12:43):
employee. He punched another one inthe face in Missouri, Richmond Heights.
It's about like what northwest of SaintLouis, downtown Saint Louis, over the
quality of his food. The SaintLouis County Prosecuting Attorney's Office charged thirty three
year old Philip Person, mister Personwith felony assault and weapons charges. And
it was about four pm Wednesday oflast week. The guy who works at

(13:05):
the restaurant was legit stamped in theback. He apparently got in and would
argument with employees over his food andthen he punched, Oh the chicky,
the duty the other person he punchedin the head was a female and they
got him outside he stabbed the mailemployee. He was arrested and they took
the knife into evidence. You're ata Panda Express, you know, like,
like, what are you upset about? Yeah? So this this woman

(13:31):
was arrested after running down a MontanaAirport runway. Helena police reported that they
arrested a forty two year old Tennesseewoman who was acting erratic. They said
in an email that they were calledto the airport six point thirty in the
morning Saturday. They had a dealwith a woman who was trying to board
a plane. She ran down therunway climbed a fence before police arrival.

(13:54):
They did locate her. No furtherinformation was available. Caine adds that she
must have eaten all of her gummiesbefore she got to t s A are
those those pot gummies? Seems logical? I mean, does that make you
do that? Does it make youact nuts? Just because you don't like

(14:18):
it doesn't make it a conspiracy theory, you know what? Hold on,
I gotta put my thing in mymy case because we gotta talk about big
tech for a moment. I can't. I can't can they can they hold

(14:39):
up? I'm gonna put my socketon my computer. I can't put it
on my my head because it'll messup my hair. We literally just did
this, we we we begged thesepeople to send us stuff. So this
is I'm not where. Don't worry. I'm gonna put my phone in my
thing. Do me favor real quick. Uh, I can't call my phone
real quick right now, I'm gonnasay something. Hold up. I want

(15:01):
to show you, guys, becauseI want to do my redick because we
got to talk about how big techis censoring the hell out of us right
now. So just want to makesure. Just call my phone real quick.
It'll ring at some point because Igot to talk about big tech going
at us. Why is it notring? I mean as supposed to be
rain. All my stuff's up.Oh there it is. Okay, So

(15:22):
all right, you're calling me.I'm not taking your call obviously, So
I'm gonna put it in the thingand then you can try. You can
try call it because then we gotto talk about big tech is slamming us
so bad. Right now I'm puttingit in my my fair Oh yeah,
yeah, yeah, so we are. It's actually Kane, who is crazy.
I was wrapping his whole head andtinfoil, and we're like, you're

(15:43):
gonna die. Can you find somethingthat's not gonna hurt you? Right?
And so he found that. It'slike they're called it's called Fara day Labs.
This thing will not ring call myphone again. I haven't turned it
all off. I haven't turned itoff. I'm doing this because I want
to talk smack and I don't wantthem to get me. Let's see what
it does. Are you gonna doit? Yeah? I call it.
It's not well, it's not ringing. No, it's not ringing at all.

(16:06):
This is crazy. It's literally notringing. Yeah. And then I
have I purposely lead my voicemail fullbecause I hate messages and I hate all
of it. Anyway, I'm justgonna keep this in here because yeah,
uh so anyway, So here's what'sup. Uh So we got I got
another little thing on Instagram. Igot a whole bunch of more notices on

(16:27):
like a whole handful of notices onFacebook. This comes after YouTube took down
two of my videos because they tothe videos for the Dana Show because we
had on Doctor Robert malone. Wehad on doctor Tess Lori Laurie was only
talking about ivermectin as a method totreat symptoms, and she was talking very

(16:48):
specifically about how it works to alleviatesome of the symptoms that go along with
having the rona and some you knowBarista out button pusher at at thug tube
YouTube mootube. They decided that theythey didn't like our The video was like

(17:10):
this was posted over a year ago. So they started taking these videos down.
And they told me yesterday because Idisputed it, and they're like,
no, sorry, you know,you just didn't. They didn't actually tell
me what in the video they thoughtwas misinformation. They claimed that I was
spreading misinformation, which I think isa is an indignation of my character.
And they said that I was spreadingmisinformation, and I said I had asked

(17:32):
them, can you actually articulate what? And they couldn't. They wouldn't like,
no, it's yes, we justdon't we hate you. They didn't
say it like that, but that'sbasically what it is. They they couldn't
actually say a single thing as towhy they couldn't put to a single thing
in any anywhere They couldn't actually articulatewhy any of it would be considered in

(17:52):
any way misinformation, and so sowe got that. Then we get the
notice and I had this and thiswas from They didn't even show me what
this was. They didn't even showme what what uh this one video was.

(18:14):
They were just they told me thatI'm pull this up that and I
sent this to canaan Wan. Theyshowed that they had removed these posts on
Facebook. They said it went againstour rules. But then they didn't tell
me what post it was, whatvideo was, or what rules it violated.
They just said, no, itviolates our community standards. Violation.

(18:37):
That means I'm going to post moreof it. Whatever it was, was
it, I don't know what itwas. Was it somebody who was mad
that I was saying that Palestine isthe fictional country. I don't know,
because it is fight me. Idon't know. These people are these fascists.
This is so stupid. This isabsolute, you know. But these

(18:57):
are the same people that are like, no, no, no. If
you sit here and glorify Hamas andyou say from the river to the sea,
that's okay. If you sit hereand scream kill the Jews, on
college campuses. That's okay, butheaven forbid you point out that you know,
i've vermectin actually can help alleviate symptomsthat go along with rona, or
that you point out that you know, Palestine actually isn't a real country.

(19:18):
It was completely made up. It'sa fictional place. There's no Palestinian people
that's not supported by two thousand yearsof antiquity, and it was completely fabricated
out of the ether after by Hadrian, after the second Judeane Uprising, because
he quelled that and then he waslike, yeah, I'm going to be
a spiteful d bag. So I'mgonna name this Syria Philistine Philistina after the
Philistines who are Greek and they're allhere like whatever, like a half a

(19:41):
century before Arabs even got into thearea. So I'm just gonna say,
I don't know, just history infact. So I just feel like,
you know, I'm gonna have towrap all our stuff because these people,
now they're like Colman, They're likelistening to everything. Now, Okay,
can I talk on a smack aboutit? Because it'll I also don't like
it if I talk about stuff andit shows ads. It shows ads.

(20:08):
You know how I was talking aboutpossum stuff, was showing me possum stuff
yesterday. Dude. For real,Dude, I bet I could put my
phone on my socket too. Ibet it would do the same thing.
Thanks for tuning in to today's editionof Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If
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