January 5, 2024 • 19 mins
Biden kicks off his 2024 campaign by focusing on January 6th. Meanwhile, Dana gives an update on her new pet owl in her attic.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his life mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida man. This is one of the
nastiest stories that I've ever read.So a man issuing Duncan Donuts because he
said that their toilet exploded. Gosh, it sounds like a USPS office says
(00:28):
that their toilet exploded and that hewas left filthy and injured. He's accusing
them of negligence. And the lawsuitsays this is Winter Park, Florida,
Flaker County, Florida man. Hesaid he two years ago toilet exploded.
Paul Kerouac was visiting the Dunkin Donutsand there was January sixth, twenty two,
(00:51):
and he says while he was there, a toilet in the men's bathroom
totally exploded and covered the bathroom andhim in human feces and urines. According
to the he came out asked employeesfor this at the store for help cleaning
himself, and the employees told himthey were aware of the problem with the
toilet due to prior incidents. Sohe said he required mental health care and
counseling as a direct result of thetrauma experienced in the restroom, and it
(01:15):
says that he got severe and longterm injury. I just even wants damages
over fifty thousand dollars and says thatDuncan did not maintain the toilet or warn
him ahead of time. I mean, I think if you're going to be
so stupid is to have an explodingtoilet, you're gonna be messing around with
suits like this. You know whatI'm saying. It's pretty simple. I
mean, good heavens, that's howdo you not I mean, I don't
(01:37):
even understand how it would explode either. That was just my next question.
It's like, you're gonna that's abigger problem than just the toilet. It
sounds like, I mean, yeah, I don't, I don't know.
It just uh. This story fromFlorida, a Florida woman had two horses
stolen from her and they were slaughteredfor their meat. According to Miami Dade's
(02:00):
who eats horse meat? I knowsome people do, but I mean,
who, why do you need toeat Why do you need to eat horse
meat? They said that the bodiesof the horses were found in the home
near the home and they were appearedto be butchered for their meat. The
investigation is ongoing. If I foundout if someone kidnapped my if I had
horses and someone kidnapped my horses ormy pets, imagine John Wick on every
(02:22):
steroid known to man. Though thatis not an exaggeration. Oh no,
and oh no, it would beoh man, because john Wick started as
a movie about a dog. Let'sbe honest, this is the dog movie,
right. Oh can you imagine?First, how do you kidnap?
How do you steal somebody's horses?Anyway, though they're horses, they're like
(02:43):
pretty big. How do you getOh? So they said that they The
owner of the horses told the NBCaffiliate that she thinks that they may have
been watching her to even know howto get the horses out and all this
other stuff. And uh she saidthat, uh, you know, they
she had apparently she had been undersome kind of surveillance or something. How
did That's just crazy? Now,speaking of pets, a Lakeland nurse was
(03:07):
charged with poisoning her neighbor's pets.Oh boy. Fifty one year old Tamisha
night And, a licensed practical nurseat United Healthcare at WellMed, is charged
with three kinds of animal cruelty.One kuindt of depositing poison in public after
detectives said she poisoned two cats anda pregnant huhuahua. She also killed eight
puppies. Oh my gosh. Sothey said that they investigated that, well,
(03:34):
it was a pregnant shuahwah in herI guess the puppies her puppies,
And so they said that it wasdiscussing to horrifying a hainus crime, et
cetera. Uh. And then theyfinally found her. She apparently had threatened
to poison the pets were coming intoher yard before, and they said that
that, oh gosh, it wasjust awful. The sheriff said that it
made him really angry, and soshe's now being charged with that. I
(03:55):
also think again, in cases likethat, you should allow the pet owners
to be able to slap her arounda little bit, just a little bit,
you know what I'm saying. Again, I would not allow I don't
I always. I'm very protective ofmy animals. I wouldn't let them.
They wouldn't be in anybody else's yardin the first place. But say,
if there was an accident or somethinghappened. Somebody did point. Oh my
(04:16):
gosh, there's just no amount.There's no limitation to the physical pain that
I would inflict on somebody. Therejust isn't. Oh my gosh, who
does that to an animal? Whodoes that? What is wrong with you?
Oh? All right? So movingon, Kyle Lee, we have
something that Okay, here we go. You want a good one. This
(04:38):
hardcore Florida woman saved her rottweiler froman alligator attack. I did not have
rottweiler versus alligator like right on mybingo card for the first week coming back,
But here we go. Gwen Cashwas taking her rottweiler, Maximus,
out for a walk in her penbook Brian's home, and an alligator swiftly
approached her dog. She said itwas within five minutes, she said.
(04:59):
In that she said the gator justcame for him and was trying to go
for her dog's throat. She said, I put my arm around my dog's
chest. She got scratched. Shegoes, but I'm glad he didn't close
his mouth. She saved her dogfrom the gator's clutches. And this is
an older woman too. This olderwoman apparently out rottweiler, her rottweiler in
fighting this gator. So she's havingthe alligator removed. She's talking at Florida
(05:20):
Fish and Wildlife and they're having Trappercome down to do it because she's like,
look, if it came for thatbig dog, it's not going to
hesitate to go out for free akid, which is she's right or anybody
else, so good to her.Our partners are friends over at Celtech.
The P fifteen this should be partof your EDC if you're unfamiliar with the
P fifteen. It is the lightest, slimmest double stack concealed carry nine millimeter
on the market, fourteen ounces unloaded, hold standard capacity of fifteen plus one
(05:44):
rounds. It's fifteen one chamber.Tried them in fiber optic front sight fully
adjustable, fiber optic grier and strikerfire reliability and nice trigger. So there's
two different versions. You have thepolymer and the metal version. The metal
version has a really vintage looking field, has these gorgeous classic wood grips,
very comfortable, same great modern side, same great trigger, great capacity,
the same capacity. Uh, andthe polymer version has gator grip texture.
(06:06):
I mean they're both awesome, awesome, uh awesome handguns. They're they're they're
both gorgeous. Give both of them. I mean, why not. It's
America for public Safety and self defense. P. Fifteen should definitely be one
of your concealed carry go tos,lightest, thinnest, and it's uh.
I like that, particularly because youknow, ladies car a little bit differently
than dudes. Learn more at celtechweapons dot com. That's k E L
(06:27):
T e C Weapons dot com.Tell them Dana sent you. I don't
think that that's this is not agood thing, especially as he's going into
because tomorrow is oh boy, king, what's tomorrow Saturd Day? Yeah,
but the number it's a big dayto the left, that's right, the
j sixth anniversary. I forgot aboutthat or whatever it is. And he's
(06:51):
so biden. I mentioned this.I sent this out to you. If
you get my emailed newsletter, youwill have this out because he's we talked
a little bit about this yesterday,but more details are coming out, so
he's trying to make his whole He'sgonna he's basically kicking off his campaign in
Earnest tomorrow, and he's going toCharlottesville, and he's doing two speeches this
(07:16):
week, and he's focusing on theriot on the sixth, which they say
is an insurrection. But if youcopy and paste other people's work unattributed,
that's not plagiarism. Uh. Theythere, they've got it crafted to where
he's going to try to couch.He's going to frame his campaign relaunch around
(07:39):
whether it's you know, he's goingto be in Valley Forge talking about fighting
the British and he's going to bein Charlotte. He's going to try to
use and say and act like he'slike Washington and Washington's army. It's basically
what it is. And these peopleare all the bad people. You are
all the bad people. And inCharlottesville he's going to and they're also he's
apparently also going to is an't hemaking a visit to the church in which
(08:01):
that I'm not going to mention themurder's name. That one dude went shot
up a church and he was allowedto purchase his firearm because they messed up,
and the FBI literally had to writea letter that's still available online saying
that they was a paperwork error orthey literally that's what it was, and
that allowed him to purchase his firearm, and he was kind of a known
entity already. Yeah, I know. But hey, it's like Republicans fault
(08:24):
or something. I don't know.So he's his campaign. If you thought
you were already tired of the campaignseason, just wait until Biden kicks off,
because it's going to be doom andgloom. Everyone's going to die,
and and you're not black unless youvote for him. That's what it's going
to be, pretty much. Ithink we covered all of that, right,
Yeah, that's what it's going tobe. He's dedicated the entire kickoff
to his campaign to all these tragicplaces. Yeah, there's a narrative afoot.
(08:50):
So they said, he's going thisis how they have it. They
pull this up. This is whatthey this is what they were sending out
to the media. So he they'reso appalled by Trump's role in January sixth,
that's what that's literally how they're startingthis. So they're keeping that,
trying to keep that alive. Andthen they're gonna say he's putting the deadly
(09:11):
assault on the Capitol. Yeah,it was a Capital police officer that shot
and killed an Houn honored woman.That had an entire swat team behind her
and it was all on video.But okay, in going to focus on
that. He's going to talk aboutCharlottesville, and then he's going to he's
doing a speech today at Valley Forgeand he's talking about the twenty twenty election
(09:35):
and et cetera, et cetera.And these campaign officials say the venue is
at because it's where George Washington's armyin jord A frigid winter in seventeen,
seventy seven and seventy eight. He'sgoing to offer a contrast with Trump.
He really wants Trump to be thenominee, really does. So that's how
(09:56):
he's Are you guys, from whatI just shared with you, does it
give you any insight on how tohandle inflation his plans for dealing with that?
Has it giving you any insight onhis plans for dealing with energy costs?
Jobs? Now? Because that's allthey have to offer, That's literally
(10:22):
all they have to offer. Theyhave nothing else, Golly, we gotta
And then his son has the documentarycameras following him everywhere. You can't make
this stuff up? Yeah, isit gonna? Is it gonna solve the
problem? With the border. Nope, but that's that's the goal. Though
(10:43):
that's the goal. They don't theydon't care about any of it. And
now all of the news you wouldprobably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick
five. So first up, tworestaurant employees were allegedly allegedly pepper sprayed over
an automatic TI charge SOS in SouthBend, Indiana, and investigation is underway.
A group of ten people were accusedof trying to outsmart In Indiana restaurant's
(11:07):
tipping policy and then two employees endedup getting pepper sprayed. Really eighteen percent
gratuity that was automatically added to partiessix or more, and they said the
group in ten came in acting likethey weren't together, sat in different sections
and tell I mean, that's nothow that that's not how that works.
So they added an eighteen percent gratuityand then it got out of there was
(11:28):
like video got out of control.Because the world sucks. Oh my gosh,
So don't talk about calendars. Vintagecalendars from the year nineteen ninety six
are worth of money in twenty twentyfour, do you know that? I
mean how much money they're talking about, Like vintage like Star Wars stuff.
Nineteen ninety six apparently is the yearthat both it has to do with like
(11:50):
a leapyar thing. So there someare going online like for sale for like
two hundred dollars and they said it'sbecause they can be used in twenty twenty
four because they match up. They'reboth they're both ears or leap Ears,
and they each started on a Monday. I wonder if I have one of
those, why would you why wouldyou have pipped a calendar from I don't
know. I remember I used towrite in the you know those little those
(12:13):
little scheduler bookie things that you usedto buy like landers. Yeah is that
what they call. I haven't hadone for a while, but yeah,
I'm thinking I had one in thenineties. Might be able to use it.
Seriously, you would keep that,you would have it that long?
Look, there was some personal informationthey I wouldn't I want to keep that.
That's funny. A father says thathis daughter's car is melting in the
(12:37):
driveway, and Handa says it's notcovered by the warranty. They said,
So this family in Georgia say thatone of their cars is literally melting away
and they're trying to get it situated. Parts of the car from the driver's
sidemere to the front bump, fromfrom the front bump or to the passenger
side mirror. They said started towarp, the paint began to bubble up.
They said that it's just literally disintegrating. It's been sitting in their drive
(13:00):
way and they took it to alocal Honda dealer because it's Honda, and
they said, Oh, it's justcaused by the sun. Uh what,
it shouldn't melt by sitting just likeoutside. And they're like, oh,
it's not covered by the warranty.Sorry, So they've the families. I
what what in what case of that? Is it like a faulty paint.
(13:20):
But it's warping too, so it'smore than just paint. I've never heard
of anything like that happening. HYeah, I don't know. Let's see,
a burglar was busted because he wastrying to use Uber as a getaway
driver. This is so stupid.Why would you do this? That's why
they're burglars. You know, they'vepicked crime. They're not the smartest people.
It's in Colorado. Police say theycaught a burglar trying to get away
(13:41):
in an Uber. Last week,wheat Ridge wheat Bridge Police Department TUEAT officers
responded to reports of a burglary atBlue Sky Plumbing. There was a hole
in the fence, a guy,security footage of a guy stealing tools,
and then the driver. The Uberdriver said he was called to pick up
a dude named Jose who was lookingtowards the car. Officers stopped them all
and he got in trouble. Thatyou can't order Uber as your getaway driver.
(14:05):
It makes it's like, really makesit really easy to bust you for
the crime. I can't even believethat that has to be explained. I
just maybe it shouldn't be. Idon't I don't know. But and apparently
the latest Epstein Epstein documentation has dropped. Now this is stuff that's been out,
but it hasn't been unredacted, meaningyou didn't know who was involved because
(14:26):
you didn't know what was said.So now so I don't have saying dropped
is the accurate unredacted now officially unmasked. So I got to give you an
OWL update. My uh, Itold you this yesterday. We have I
don't know how else to describe it. It's an accidental attic owl. Apparently
we have like an opening in ourattic, and I feel like I should
(14:46):
be more freaked out about this thanI am. It was large enough for
a little screech owl to get intoand my husband was up in the attic
yesterday and boom, there's an owlin the attic. Now, I think
this is the owl that has livedin our patio and lived and I wouldn't
let Chris get rid of it,and he gosh, he guess he's like
the owl droppings were crazy. ButI think it's the same owl that's lived
(15:11):
here for a while. Like whenwe first bought our house, there was
an owl that we saw on therafters and the patio and and I'm like,
oh, it's an owl. It'smeant to be. I've always wanted
one, and now it's now it'sin the attic. Though, does this
mean we're wizards? And then howthat works? Like you get an owl?
I think yeah, I think them'sthe rules. I think that's right.
(15:33):
But anyway, so this he's stillthere and we have to have like
someone come and get him, kindlyget him and move him. Although I
want to build an owl house forhim. But I don't know anything about
construction or power tools or anything likethat. So I feel like that could
(15:54):
be a very interesting venture for me. There's a wand shows that that's a
picture of this owl Bundy. Yeah, so thank you for reminding me of
that. So we had a pollyesterday on social media. I left it
up for a couple of hours andI'm like, here's I here. I
threw some name suggestions out. Whatdo we have? Edgar Owl, Lynn,
poll Poe, Owl Bundy, Jarethbecause Jarreth. Okay, some people
(16:19):
were like, what is this garbage? David Bowie's character in Labyrinth turned into
an owl, and his character namein Labyrinth was Jareth. That's why.
That's where it comes from. Ifelt like that required too much explain.
Yeah yeah, yeah. So anyway, Owl Bundy ran away with the vote.
So that's its name, Owl Bundy, and he seems pretty chill so
(16:42):
far. And I so my otheroption was can we build like a little
owl to or I don't even knowwhat that would look like. I just
I'm just trying to come up becauseI really want to keep it. And
my husband was like, you realizethat possums and all that use doors too.
That's not just like they're not gonnago oh, this is just for
the owl. But wouldn't the owleat the possum if you had a screech
(17:06):
owl versus a possum. Who winsin that fight? I don't know.
Possums can get pretty big. Iknow I can. I don't know.
I don't baby. All I knowabout owls is that they're whys. I
mean, I really I had afriend that used to go through their feces
for bones. Yeah. I don'tknow. It is a thing. Yeah,
(17:27):
but I could sell that. I'mjust think thinking of capitalist opportunities here.
Anyway. I I don't know whatit is. So it's there.
And apparently one of the other thingsthey said that they're attracted to manufactured boxes.
So you have this giant box inour attic and it's a posable dummy.
(17:48):
You guys have seen it before.I don't know why. I bought
this at a whim on a whimat a spear Halloween, and I would
randomly pose it around the house toscare the living daylights out of my friend
and family. I don't know,like I would when we would have get
if we would have family to stayover. I would literally put it in
the bed that the family was goingto sleep in and cover it up and
they'd walk in. Ah. Iused to stick it in, you know,
(18:10):
the bathroom at night, just toscare people. I mean, it
was like a thing. I don'tknow. That's how we're weird. So
anyway, I don't know. Itloves this. It loves the box.
It likes to sit on the box. And apparently I looked it up screech
owl was like manufactured boxes. Ididn't know that. Yeah, so I
I really want to try to buildand I don't know what's got. Maybe
it'll still be here monday. Idon't know. That's my wish, but
(18:33):
I it can't Chris says, itcan't stay in the attic or I got
to clean it up. I don'treally like that option. So because I'm
a girl. Anyway, today's stupiditycame. Uh, well, we don't
have time to play the audio,but this is they talked about Owl Bundy.
That's right the view early earlier thismorning. They're claiming you shouldn't listen
to anyone but them on the detailsas it relates to the COVID of them.
(19:00):
Because I just had a brilliant ideathat's today's stupidy. But what if
it was like in a part ofthe show album look Back Here, I
didn't mean to totally hijack. I'msorry. Can I'll make up for it
Next week you can pet him.Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of
Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. Ifyou haven't already, made sure to hit
that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts,Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his life mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida man. This is one of the
nastiest stories that I've ever read.So a man issuing Duncan Donuts because he
said that their toilet exploded. Gosh, it sounds like a USPS office says
(00:28):
that their toilet exploded and that hewas left filthy and injured. He's accusing
them of negligence. And the lawsuitsays this is Winter Park, Florida,
Flaker County, Florida man. Hesaid he two years ago toilet exploded.
Paul Kerouac was visiting the Dunkin Donutsand there was January sixth, twenty two,
(00:51):
and he says while he was there, a toilet in the men's bathroom
totally exploded and covered the bathroom andhim in human feces and urines. According
to the he came out asked employeesfor this at the store for help cleaning
himself, and the employees told himthey were aware of the problem with the
toilet due to prior incidents. Sohe said he required mental health care and
counseling as a direct result of thetrauma experienced in the restroom, and it
(01:15):
says that he got severe and longterm injury. I just even wants damages
over fifty thousand dollars and says thatDuncan did not maintain the toilet or warn
him ahead of time. I mean, I think if you're going to be
so stupid is to have an explodingtoilet, you're gonna be messing around with
suits like this. You know whatI'm saying. It's pretty simple. I
mean, good heavens, that's howdo you not I mean, I don't
(01:37):
even understand how it would explode either. That was just my next question.
It's like, you're gonna that's abigger problem than just the toilet. It
sounds like, I mean, yeah, I don't, I don't know.
It just uh. This story fromFlorida, a Florida woman had two horses
stolen from her and they were slaughteredfor their meat. According to Miami Dade's
(02:00):
who eats horse meat? I knowsome people do, but I mean,
who, why do you need toeat Why do you need to eat horse
meat? They said that the bodiesof the horses were found in the home
near the home and they were appearedto be butchered for their meat. The
investigation is ongoing. If I foundout if someone kidnapped my if I had
horses and someone kidnapped my horses ormy pets, imagine John Wick on every
(02:22):
steroid known to man. Though thatis not an exaggeration. Oh no,
and oh no, it would beoh man, because john Wick started as
a movie about a dog. Let'sbe honest, this is the dog movie,
right. Oh can you imagine?First, how do you kidnap?
How do you steal somebody's horses?Anyway, though they're horses, they're like
(02:43):
pretty big. How do you getOh? So they said that they The
owner of the horses told the NBCaffiliate that she thinks that they may have
been watching her to even know howto get the horses out and all this
other stuff. And uh she saidthat, uh, you know, they
she had apparently she had been undersome kind of surveillance or something. How
did That's just crazy? Now,speaking of pets, a Lakeland nurse was
(03:07):
charged with poisoning her neighbor's pets.Oh boy. Fifty one year old Tamisha
night And, a licensed practical nurseat United Healthcare at WellMed, is charged
with three kinds of animal cruelty.One kuindt of depositing poison in public after
detectives said she poisoned two cats anda pregnant huhuahua. She also killed eight
puppies. Oh my gosh. Sothey said that they investigated that, well,
(03:34):
it was a pregnant shuahwah in herI guess the puppies her puppies,
And so they said that it wasdiscussing to horrifying a hainus crime, et
cetera. Uh. And then theyfinally found her. She apparently had threatened
to poison the pets were coming intoher yard before, and they said that
that, oh gosh, it wasjust awful. The sheriff said that it
made him really angry, and soshe's now being charged with that. I
(03:55):
also think again, in cases likethat, you should allow the pet owners
to be able to slap her arounda little bit, just a little bit,
you know what I'm saying. Again, I would not allow I don't
I always. I'm very protective ofmy animals. I wouldn't let them.
They wouldn't be in anybody else's yardin the first place. But say,
if there was an accident or somethinghappened. Somebody did point. Oh my
(04:16):
gosh, there's just no amount.There's no limitation to the physical pain that
I would inflict on somebody. Therejust isn't. Oh my gosh, who
does that to an animal? Whodoes that? What is wrong with you?
Oh? All right? So movingon, Kyle Lee, we have
something that Okay, here we go. You want a good one. This
(04:38):
hardcore Florida woman saved her rottweiler froman alligator attack. I did not have
rottweiler versus alligator like right on mybingo card for the first week coming back,
But here we go. Gwen Cashwas taking her rottweiler, Maximus,
out for a walk in her penbook Brian's home, and an alligator swiftly
approached her dog. She said itwas within five minutes, she said.
(04:59):
In that she said the gator justcame for him and was trying to go
for her dog's throat. She said, I put my arm around my dog's
chest. She got scratched. Shegoes, but I'm glad he didn't close
his mouth. She saved her dogfrom the gator's clutches. And this is
an older woman too. This olderwoman apparently out rottweiler, her rottweiler in
fighting this gator. So she's havingthe alligator removed. She's talking at Florida
(05:20):
Fish and Wildlife and they're having Trappercome down to do it because she's like,
look, if it came for thatbig dog, it's not going to
hesitate to go out for free akid, which is she's right or anybody
else, so good to her.Our partners are friends over at Celtech.
The P fifteen this should be partof your EDC if you're unfamiliar with the
P fifteen. It is the lightest, slimmest double stack concealed carry nine millimeter
on the market, fourteen ounces unloaded, hold standard capacity of fifteen plus one
(05:44):
rounds. It's fifteen one chamber.Tried them in fiber optic front sight fully
adjustable, fiber optic grier and strikerfire reliability and nice trigger. So there's
two different versions. You have thepolymer and the metal version. The metal
version has a really vintage looking field, has these gorgeous classic wood grips,
very comfortable, same great modern side, same great trigger, great capacity,
the same capacity. Uh, andthe polymer version has gator grip texture.
(06:06):
I mean they're both awesome, awesome, uh awesome handguns. They're they're they're
both gorgeous. Give both of them. I mean, why not. It's
America for public Safety and self defense. P. Fifteen should definitely be one
of your concealed carry go tos,lightest, thinnest, and it's uh.
I like that, particularly because youknow, ladies car a little bit differently
than dudes. Learn more at celtechweapons dot com. That's k E L
(06:27):
T e C Weapons dot com.Tell them Dana sent you. I don't
think that that's this is not agood thing, especially as he's going into
because tomorrow is oh boy, king, what's tomorrow Saturd Day? Yeah,
but the number it's a big dayto the left, that's right, the
j sixth anniversary. I forgot aboutthat or whatever it is. And he's
(06:51):
so biden. I mentioned this.I sent this out to you. If
you get my emailed newsletter, youwill have this out because he's we talked
a little bit about this yesterday,but more details are coming out, so
he's trying to make his whole He'sgonna he's basically kicking off his campaign in
Earnest tomorrow, and he's going toCharlottesville, and he's doing two speeches this
(07:16):
week, and he's focusing on theriot on the sixth, which they say
is an insurrection. But if youcopy and paste other people's work unattributed,
that's not plagiarism. Uh. Theythere, they've got it crafted to where
he's going to try to couch.He's going to frame his campaign relaunch around
(07:39):
whether it's you know, he's goingto be in Valley Forge talking about fighting
the British and he's going to bein Charlotte. He's going to try to
use and say and act like he'slike Washington and Washington's army. It's basically
what it is. And these peopleare all the bad people. You are
all the bad people. And inCharlottesville he's going to and they're also he's
apparently also going to is an't hemaking a visit to the church in which
(08:01):
that I'm not going to mention themurder's name. That one dude went shot
up a church and he was allowedto purchase his firearm because they messed up,
and the FBI literally had to writea letter that's still available online saying
that they was a paperwork error orthey literally that's what it was, and
that allowed him to purchase his firearm, and he was kind of a known
entity already. Yeah, I know. But hey, it's like Republicans fault
(08:24):
or something. I don't know.So he's his campaign. If you thought
you were already tired of the campaignseason, just wait until Biden kicks off,
because it's going to be doom andgloom. Everyone's going to die,
and and you're not black unless youvote for him. That's what it's going
to be, pretty much. Ithink we covered all of that, right,
Yeah, that's what it's going tobe. He's dedicated the entire kickoff
to his campaign to all these tragicplaces. Yeah, there's a narrative afoot.
(08:50):
So they said, he's going thisis how they have it. They
pull this up. This is whatthey this is what they were sending out
to the media. So he they'reso appalled by Trump's role in January sixth,
that's what that's literally how they're startingthis. So they're keeping that,
trying to keep that alive. Andthen they're gonna say he's putting the deadly
(09:11):
assault on the Capitol. Yeah,it was a Capital police officer that shot
and killed an Houn honored woman.That had an entire swat team behind her
and it was all on video.But okay, in going to focus on
that. He's going to talk aboutCharlottesville, and then he's going to he's
doing a speech today at Valley Forgeand he's talking about the twenty twenty election
(09:35):
and et cetera, et cetera.And these campaign officials say the venue is
at because it's where George Washington's armyin jord A frigid winter in seventeen,
seventy seven and seventy eight. He'sgoing to offer a contrast with Trump.
He really wants Trump to be thenominee, really does. So that's how
(09:56):
he's Are you guys, from whatI just shared with you, does it
give you any insight on how tohandle inflation his plans for dealing with that?
Has it giving you any insight onhis plans for dealing with energy costs?
Jobs? Now? Because that's allthey have to offer, That's literally
(10:22):
all they have to offer. Theyhave nothing else, Golly, we gotta
And then his son has the documentarycameras following him everywhere. You can't make
this stuff up? Yeah, isit gonna? Is it gonna solve the
problem? With the border. Nope, but that's that's the goal. Though
(10:43):
that's the goal. They don't theydon't care about any of it. And
now all of the news you wouldprobably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick
five. So first up, tworestaurant employees were allegedly allegedly pepper sprayed over
an automatic TI charge SOS in SouthBend, Indiana, and investigation is underway.
A group of ten people were accusedof trying to outsmart In Indiana restaurant's
(11:07):
tipping policy and then two employees endedup getting pepper sprayed. Really eighteen percent
gratuity that was automatically added to partiessix or more, and they said the
group in ten came in acting likethey weren't together, sat in different sections
and tell I mean, that's nothow that that's not how that works.
So they added an eighteen percent gratuityand then it got out of there was
(11:28):
like video got out of control.Because the world sucks. Oh my gosh,
So don't talk about calendars. Vintagecalendars from the year nineteen ninety six
are worth of money in twenty twentyfour, do you know that? I
mean how much money they're talking about, Like vintage like Star Wars stuff.
Nineteen ninety six apparently is the yearthat both it has to do with like
(11:50):
a leapyar thing. So there someare going online like for sale for like
two hundred dollars and they said it'sbecause they can be used in twenty twenty
four because they match up. They'reboth they're both ears or leap Ears,
and they each started on a Monday. I wonder if I have one of
those, why would you why wouldyou have pipped a calendar from I don't
know. I remember I used towrite in the you know those little those
(12:13):
little scheduler bookie things that you usedto buy like landers. Yeah is that
what they call. I haven't hadone for a while, but yeah,
I'm thinking I had one in thenineties. Might be able to use it.
Seriously, you would keep that,you would have it that long?
Look, there was some personal informationthey I wouldn't I want to keep that.
That's funny. A father says thathis daughter's car is melting in the
(12:37):
driveway, and Handa says it's notcovered by the warranty. They said,
So this family in Georgia say thatone of their cars is literally melting away
and they're trying to get it situated. Parts of the car from the driver's
sidemere to the front bump, fromfrom the front bump or to the passenger
side mirror. They said started towarp, the paint began to bubble up.
They said that it's just literally disintegrating. It's been sitting in their drive
(13:00):
way and they took it to alocal Honda dealer because it's Honda, and
they said, Oh, it's justcaused by the sun. Uh what,
it shouldn't melt by sitting just likeoutside. And they're like, oh,
it's not covered by the warranty.Sorry, So they've the families. I
what what in what case of that? Is it like a faulty paint.
(13:20):
But it's warping too, so it'smore than just paint. I've never heard
of anything like that happening. HYeah, I don't know. Let's see,
a burglar was busted because he wastrying to use Uber as a getaway
driver. This is so stupid.Why would you do this? That's why
they're burglars. You know, they'vepicked crime. They're not the smartest people.
It's in Colorado. Police say theycaught a burglar trying to get away
(13:41):
in an Uber. Last week,wheat Ridge wheat Bridge Police Department TUEAT officers
responded to reports of a burglary atBlue Sky Plumbing. There was a hole
in the fence, a guy,security footage of a guy stealing tools,
and then the driver. The Uberdriver said he was called to pick up
a dude named Jose who was lookingtowards the car. Officers stopped them all
and he got in trouble. Thatyou can't order Uber as your getaway driver.
(14:05):
It makes it's like, really makesit really easy to bust you for
the crime. I can't even believethat that has to be explained. I
just maybe it shouldn't be. Idon't I don't know. But and apparently
the latest Epstein Epstein documentation has dropped. Now this is stuff that's been out,
but it hasn't been unredacted, meaningyou didn't know who was involved because
(14:26):
you didn't know what was said.So now so I don't have saying dropped
is the accurate unredacted now officially unmasked. So I got to give you an
OWL update. My uh, Itold you this yesterday. We have I
don't know how else to describe it. It's an accidental attic owl. Apparently
we have like an opening in ourattic, and I feel like I should
(14:46):
be more freaked out about this thanI am. It was large enough for
a little screech owl to get intoand my husband was up in the attic
yesterday and boom, there's an owlin the attic. Now, I think
this is the owl that has livedin our patio and lived and I wouldn't
let Chris get rid of it,and he gosh, he guess he's like
the owl droppings were crazy. ButI think it's the same owl that's lived
(15:11):
here for a while. Like whenwe first bought our house, there was
an owl that we saw on therafters and the patio and and I'm like,
oh, it's an owl. It'smeant to be. I've always wanted
one, and now it's now it'sin the attic. Though, does this
mean we're wizards? And then howthat works? Like you get an owl?
I think yeah, I think them'sthe rules. I think that's right.
(15:33):
But anyway, so this he's stillthere and we have to have like
someone come and get him, kindlyget him and move him. Although I
want to build an owl house forhim. But I don't know anything about
construction or power tools or anything likethat. So I feel like that could
(15:54):
be a very interesting venture for me. There's a wand shows that that's a
picture of this owl Bundy. Yeah, so thank you for reminding me of
that. So we had a pollyesterday on social media. I left it
up for a couple of hours andI'm like, here's I here. I
threw some name suggestions out. Whatdo we have? Edgar Owl, Lynn,
poll Poe, Owl Bundy, Jarethbecause Jarreth. Okay, some people
(16:19):
were like, what is this garbage? David Bowie's character in Labyrinth turned into
an owl, and his character namein Labyrinth was Jareth. That's why.
That's where it comes from. Ifelt like that required too much explain.
Yeah yeah, yeah. So anyway, Owl Bundy ran away with the vote.
So that's its name, Owl Bundy, and he seems pretty chill so
(16:42):
far. And I so my otheroption was can we build like a little
owl to or I don't even knowwhat that would look like. I just
I'm just trying to come up becauseI really want to keep it. And
my husband was like, you realizethat possums and all that use doors too.
That's not just like they're not gonnago oh, this is just for
the owl. But wouldn't the owleat the possum if you had a screech
(17:06):
owl versus a possum. Who winsin that fight? I don't know.
Possums can get pretty big. Iknow I can. I don't know.
I don't baby. All I knowabout owls is that they're whys. I
mean, I really I had afriend that used to go through their feces
for bones. Yeah. I don'tknow. It is a thing. Yeah,
(17:27):
but I could sell that. I'mjust think thinking of capitalist opportunities here.
Anyway. I I don't know whatit is. So it's there.
And apparently one of the other thingsthey said that they're attracted to manufactured boxes.
So you have this giant box inour attic and it's a posable dummy.
(17:48):
You guys have seen it before.I don't know why. I bought
this at a whim on a whimat a spear Halloween, and I would
randomly pose it around the house toscare the living daylights out of my friend
and family. I don't know,like I would when we would have get
if we would have family to stayover. I would literally put it in
the bed that the family was goingto sleep in and cover it up and
they'd walk in. Ah. Iused to stick it in, you know,
(18:10):
the bathroom at night, just toscare people. I mean, it
was like a thing. I don'tknow. That's how we're weird. So
anyway, I don't know. Itloves this. It loves the box.
It likes to sit on the box. And apparently I looked it up screech
owl was like manufactured boxes. Ididn't know that. Yeah, so I
I really want to try to buildand I don't know what's got. Maybe
it'll still be here monday. Idon't know. That's my wish, but
(18:33):
I it can't Chris says, itcan't stay in the attic or I got
to clean it up. I don'treally like that option. So because I'm
a girl. Anyway, today's stupiditycame. Uh, well, we don't
have time to play the audio,but this is they talked about Owl Bundy.
That's right the view early earlier thismorning. They're claiming you shouldn't listen
to anyone but them on the detailsas it relates to the COVID of them.
(19:00):
Because I just had a brilliant ideathat's today's stupidy. But what if
it was like in a part ofthe show album look Back Here, I
didn't mean to totally hijack. I'msorry. Can I'll make up for it
Next week you can pet him.Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of
Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. Ifyou haven't already, made sure to hit
that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts,Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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