February 9, 2024 • 23 mins
Biden gives an impromptu speech after the Special Counsel says Biden is “an elderly man with a poor memory”. Meanwhile, a couple is in a civil court battle over a trans woman named, “Dee”, and her refrigerated nuts.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his laugh mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida Man. Hmmm mmmm. Okay,
So if Florida Man has wrapped upover thirty one thousand dollars in charges on
(00:21):
his company card purchasing scratch off tickets, like, of all the things that
you're gonna do, you're gonna Imean, I'm not you shouldn't steer a
company card in the first place.But I'm just gonna say, if you're
gonna take your company card and thenyou're gonna go for scratch off tickets,
that's in thirty one thousand dollars ofthem. But that's what Warren Johnson did
Clearwater, Florida Man. He wasarrested thirty one thousand dollars worth of scratch
(00:44):
off lottery tickets on the company creditcard. You know he's gonna get caught.
Pennell's kind of Shriff's off a showthat he was charged with conducting a
scheme to defraud between twenty and fiftythousand, and they said that he's a
truck driver and Affi David found thatthe owner of the company discovered that one
of their credit cards had pretty hada lot of money on it worth fraudulent
(01:07):
charge of fraudulent charges going all theway back to September. So apparently he
was doing this for half a yearbefore he was caught. That's a lot.
That's a lot, and I thinkmaybe they need to run better books
too. I'm just gonna say,all right, so this Florida man,
if you're gonna steal a plane,you better know how to fly it.
(01:30):
La Times says a Florida man stolea plane in California, crash landed it
on an nearby beach and just walkedoff and well he crash landed it,
but it didn't like break up theplanet just well. Wan's got the photo.
Literally, the nose was right inthe sand. He stole a plane
in Palo Alto and then put itdown on a beach in Half Moon Bay,
and the fifty year old Miami nativeLuis Aurez is accused of committing grand
(01:55):
theft arrow at about five pm hetook to the sky's touchdown twenty five away
and apparently one of the officers says, I've been doing this for a long
time, and this is a firstto have someone who I mean, I
don't know. Did he think hewas playing grand theft auto like in person
or like with a plane like inperson? I don't know. Let's see,
this is CBS twelve. A man'spet kangaroo, which I didn't even
(02:23):
know you could actually keep as actuallycan that's kind of thing. A pet
kangaroo was trapped in a pool areaof a Florida apartment complex. So CBS
Channel twelve in Tampa says that akangaroo got into trouble in Tampa. It
made its way to an apartment complexpool. Hillsborough County Sheriff's authorities were called
regarding a kangaroo on the loose,and they released audio and some video as
(02:45):
well. They put it up onhis Facebook page and the dispatcher goes nine
one one do you need police,fire, medical? And nine to one
one goes, I guess police,there's a kangaroo in my apartment. So
they said that they got the hsC or hcso sorry, agricultural unit.
They were united the kangaroo with itsowner, so he did have proper registration
(03:07):
papers and could prove ownership. Ifhe didn't, though, I guess that
would have been you know, hewould have would have been in trouble.
But I mean, I didn't evenknow you could that. The kangaroo was
like bored, Like I feel badfor it. Yeah, is it?
Is it? A baby though,a joey. He's just chilling. He's
hopping around. He looks fun.I want to pet him, carry him
(03:30):
around, like we could be friends. Whenever he see animals, I'm like,
I get the snow white complex,Like I can go talk to them,
and like butterflies and hummingbirds will landon my hands and stuff like that.
You know, I just get thislike major snow white complex. In
fact, whenever anybody's animals like me, I feel like snow white. And
then I hear I hear a choirgo oh, and then the sun like
(03:51):
sun's rays come out, and thenall the animals come and talk to me.
That's what it feels like. Youguys know, he isn't exactly what
I'm talking about. Let's see thisis Two brothers were arrested. Two Florida
dudes were arrested. They robbed aseven year old child on a Broward County
transit bus. It occurred actually thevery end of last month. It was
(04:12):
a city bus. And the twobrothers, Danell Ohser and Darnellenson Ohser,
allegedly stole a cell phone from thechild, a seven year old, while
on the bus, and then theyran away on foot. Officers pursued on
foot. They quickly located them,and while detained, they conducted a live
lineup. Live line up, thevictim of witness positively identified them, and
(04:35):
so the officers noted that the brothersthey didn't use weapons. They used physical
force to take the child phone andthey were arrested in transport to transport it
to Broward County, Maine jail.A seven year old with a phone.
But you don't steal it just becauseyou know, maybe you don't approve of
it, or you want it foryourself. Don't steal like go out and
(04:55):
get a jobby job and you know, kind of kind of do it yourself.
There. That's I don't know.Let's see here. I'm not reading
this one. This one, thisis like a security one. No,
I don't want to read that one. That's boring and it gets too too
technical. Oh here's the one Iwant see. You guys know combos.
I love the combo snacks, right. A Florida man is suing the Combos
(05:18):
people, the people who make thethe snacks, because they were saying that
they didn't have enough cheese in them. Yeah, a Florida man sued Combos
because they said saying that they Idon't I mean, I don't know how
much money you're gonna get. It'sa class action suit. A Florida man's
(05:42):
demanded a trial. He says thatthey don't have enough cheese, and apparently
he says the filling was made withreal cheese, and it says natural flavors.
Real cheese doesn't have natural flavors becausecheese naturally is flavored like cheese.
And so they're literally like going tocourt over it a class action suit.
(06:04):
But something the special counsel said inhis court is that one of the reasons
you were not charged is because,in his description, you are a well
meaning elderly man with a horror memory. I'm well meeting. I'm an elderly
man, and I know what thehell I'm doing. I'm in president and
I put this country back on hisfeet. I don't need his recommendation.
(06:26):
It's totally is your memory, andcan you continue its president? My memory
is so bad, I let youspeak. That's that's memory has gotten worse
at My memory has not got Mymemory is fine. My memory. Take
a look at what I've done sinceI become president. Note even thought I
could pass any of the things Igot passed, how'd that happen? You
(06:48):
know? I guess I just forgotwhat was going on. That's your age?
How are you in this way?I mean, you get this report
of only going to do over theseon some of you. I mean,
I don't know what the hell Isigned up for last night, but I'm
(07:08):
like, you know what I'm gonnahave. Like it was one of those
rare evenings where I didn't have awhole lot going on, and I'm like,
you know, I got some projectsI gotta do. I got you
know, I got some I gotsome stuff going on. I you know,
I I'll maybe I'll get you know, maybe i'll get some stuff for
it, you know, to makea start playing on my Easter dinner.
Maybe I'll start doing this, startplaying on my Easter dinner, right or
(07:30):
maybe you know, maybe I'll playa little Warhammer, I don't know,
or maybe maybe I'll crouchet some It'smy old lady hobby. No, no,
because the president decided to add aspeech to his schedule. It wasn't
on there previously. He decided toadd this speech, and I and I
was doing all I was getting mystuff writing, and I was checking out
Tucker's uh putin interview, which we'regonna talk about. But I was checking
(07:54):
that out. And then and thenBiden was like, I'm gonna do my
speech, you know, and heI don't know what ipeed do people want.
I think they hate him. Ithink they hate him, and I
think they want him to lose.I that's the only reason I can seize
to why you would let that guygo out and do what he did.
Welcome to the show. It's Friday. We made it to Friday, ladies
and gentlemen. Dana Lash here withyou a lot to hit. You can
(08:16):
listen Coast to Coast all that goodstuff. You can also stream, Thank
you It's Friday. Stream the radioprogram, and you can also watch the
simulcast of the radio program as wellif you check it out on a channel
three forty seven, if you lookat direct TV, that's what it's on.
(08:37):
YouTube. Facebook. Always good discussionover at YouTube as well. But
I'm you know, I was excuseme. I'm still into the I'm still
recovering from the plague. It takesyour girl a little bit. And so
you know, I'm looking at this. I was, I was going over
all the clips of his speech.I don't even know where we're going to
start because I feel like you guys, because you guys, you were like
tucking your kids into bed last night. Y'all were getting your your clothes ready
(09:00):
for your work day to day.Y'all were packing your lunches, so you
didn't watch this stuff because you gotto work, right, This is my
job, so can I can?I also, wait a minute, where's
this at? Where's this at?Where's the one he threw his whole staff
under the bus. You heard hishis back and forth with Doocey there just
a minute, just a second ago. Oh my gosh, this is so
(09:24):
bad. Can we please play audiosounbody? Yeah. Seventh, thank you
responsibility seeing hairless with classified material.I take responsibility for not having seen exactly
what my staff was doing. Goesin in twenty out, things that appeared
in my garage, things that cameout of my home, things that were
(09:45):
moved not by me but my staff, but my staff This is the question
I had asked on social media lastnight because I was stunned. He oh
the giant a double snake's tower ofboxes in the corner of his garage next
(10:07):
to his corvette. He didn't notice, he didn't ask That's my question.
He didn't notice any of these things. He didn't ask about any other stuff.
That's my question. I don't getit. I got doesn't make any
sense to me. I mean,people know what's in their garages. My
garage is kind of a hot mess, but I know what's in there.
(10:28):
I can tell you every little thingthat's in there, every little bitty bit
thing. But that's me because Iknow what's going on in my life.
You know what I'm saying, Likethis was nuts. So he blames his
staff, He blames his staff.Can we do the flashback audio sound bite
one? This was when he wasraging on Trump with the classified docs at
(10:48):
mar A Lago. Listen and yousaw the photograph of the top secret documents
laid out on the floor at marA Lago. What did you think to
yourself looking at that image, howthat could possibly happen. I don't want
anyone could be that irresponsible, AndI thought what data was in there that
(11:09):
may compromise sources and methods. Bythat, I mean names of people will
help Thursday, et cetera. Andit's just totally irresponsible. Do we want
to do we want to play sevenagain just to just to compare again.
I mean we just played, butI mean it's a night and day difference.
Just hit it again. One,Just go ahead and play the hit
(11:31):
again. Seeing hairless would classified material. I take responsibility for not having seen
exactly what my staff was doing.It goes in in twenty out things that
appeared in my garage, things thatcame out of my home, things that
were moved not by me but mystaff. But my staff. See it
(11:52):
wasn't moved by him, it wasmoved by his staff. So the so
the classified document probe. What hewent and spoke about is that the guy
who controls the nuclear codes was foundto have mishandled classified info. But the
Department of Justice isn't going to pursueit because they literally say he's not competent
(12:13):
to stand trial. So this iswhat Special Council wrote. Quote. We
have also considered that ad trial,mister Biden would likely present himself to a
jury as he did during our interviewof him as a sympathetic, well meaning
elderly man with a poor memory.Based on our direct interactions with him and
observations of him, he is someonefor whom many jurors will still want to
identify reasonable doubt it would be difficultto convince a jury they should convict him.
(12:37):
By then, a former president willinto his eighties of a serious felony
that requires a mental state of willfulness. So Potatus doesn't have any state of
willfulness. He's just an empty basket, so to speak. They actually don't
believe that he is competent enough tostand trial. That's why they're not pursuing
(12:58):
this. Oh my gosh, butit gets worse. Oh, it gets
worse. Audio SoundBite eight. Iwant you guys to see if you can
spot what's wrong with a statement.Go ahead. The conduct of the response
(13:20):
in the Gaza strip has been overthe top. I think that, as
you know, initially the President ofMexico CC did not want to open up
the gate to allow humanitarian Mataria toget in. I talked to him.
(13:46):
I convinced to open the gate.I talked to Bbie to open the gate
on the Israeli side. So Bidenwent to Mexico to tell Egypt's president to
open the gate. I'm not kiddingbecause CC's the head of Egypt, not
of Mexico. If you get theif you get the newsletter in the morning,
(14:13):
if you're the subscriber that gets theprep that I send out in the
morning, thank me for not overloadingme with memes, because I just briefly
considered making the whole thing memes aboutthis. His geography, according to Joe
Biden, is that Mexico is rightthere under Gaza and right by Israel.
So he went and asked Egypt's presidentto open up, open it up down
(14:37):
there in Mexico. He was talkingto I can't That's what he did.
So he that was last night.You know, if you're if you're trying
to go out and make the casethat you're not an elderly geezer who's losing
his mind, that wasn't the bestway to do it. And then it
made me wonder, are they doingit on purpose? Are they sending him
(14:58):
out on purpose so that they canmake the case to take him out because
they would love to push Gavin Newsomin there. Are they trying to make
the case to force him to stepdown. It's like they let him go
out there, or made him goout there, and then they're doing this
to force him to step down.I mean, I really don't know what
else to say about it. Ireally I don't know. I mean,
(15:18):
the Babylon behead a headline that saysBiden calls for the president to step down.
I feel like we're moments away fromthat. This is crazy. Our
partners for this portion of our program, it's our friends over at Caltech.
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weapons dot com. That's k EL T e C Weapons dot com.
Tell them Dana sent you, andnow all of the news you would probably
miss. It's time for Dana's Quickfive. So apparently there's Fat Thursday.
Fat Thursday is the Thursday before ashWednesday in February day, so that was
(16:48):
yesterday. I never knew it existed. I knew Fat Tuesday, but Fat
Thursday it's known as I can't evensay this, but it looks funny.
Plus the Swartek and poland that,yeah, that sounds totally right. And
they eat a doughnut filled with rosehip jam and dusted with powdered sugar.
(17:10):
That sounds lovely. So I neverknew that there was like a fat Thursday.
Tons of rain forced gallons of rawsewage to spill from La County sewers.
What are all of the politicians doingand the sewer? Oh eight,
that's sewage. That's did you thinkI was gonna have be series about the
headline. No, they're trying todeal with muddy because it's the Pineapple Express,
the Atmospheric River and the La Basinis trying to cope and they can't.
(17:34):
So they had a huge spill.It was Rancho Dominga's eight million gallons
overflowed manholes, stream into storm brains. It was pretty bad. Ooh,
it's see this truck accident. Letme pull this up. This is w
G A L Channel eight. Atruck rolled over a highway in Franklin County,
(17:56):
splitting the truck open and it wasapparently there were a number of tractor
trailers involved. One of them wascarrying vics. It was a truck full
of the vis Vapo rub and someof the humidifiers. I bet everybody could
breathe easier now I'm just that wasa horrible joke. Be you know what
I mean. Let's see here thisthere was a tiny dog that made a
(18:21):
mess, had a little accident ona flight. This is New York Post.
It was because some people can bringtheir dogs into the cabin, but
the dog was let out of itscrate, which is something that's not supposed
to happen. And apparently the dogmade a mess and everybody in the cabin
had to deal with it. Theysaid it was horrible and that the lady,
the dog's owner, wouldn't clean itup. Yeah, and they said
(18:44):
that the flight attendants had to dealwith it. It was on the edge
of a seat and another lady refusedto move or take She refused to move
her dog or take responsibility for it. See, that's just being a bad
pet owner. Like that's I thinkthat's abusive to your dog and abusive to
every everyone else. Just like,be a decent human if you're going to
do this. So apparently there's nowan Ai toddler. This is just not
(19:06):
going to end. Well, it'scalled Tong Tong. Yeah, it's an
Ai model, or it means littlegirl in English. It was created by
the Beijing, of course, it'sChina Beijing Institute for General Artificial Intelligence.
That's what they want everyone to be. Just like a robotic little tititler' That's
what it is like SAMs through thehour glass. So are the days of
(19:26):
the United States? So hit misterBoyd Chakowski's response. He admits that he
possessed the medical specimen, and headmits that he disposed of them. Okay,
I twenty twenty two until July oftwenty twenty three when I disposed to
that. Yeah. So, becausethat physical anomaly has done a point of
(19:52):
stress in my life since I canremember. And my middle name that I
chose is D. Because my wholelife I've been called fig D com D
from the D. And I thankGod that these D's nuts were extracted.
Oh yeah, we're put into aBible hazard back. And for the giggles,
(20:17):
I put them in a Mason jarand I put them in the fridge
next to the eggs conversation. Whatis up with the headwear for these This
guy's wearing like Mario Brothers Toad's hat. I'm I'm I feel like I'm looking
(20:38):
at Eddie Izzard and Toad from SuperMario Brothers with the beard. I'm really
confused right now. This is whatthis is what Caine shows for days of
these United States. It's a dudewho had his his giblets snipped and put
because you know, that's what normaldudes do. They get their giblets snipped
and putting a mason jar pickled nextto the eggs nipped, you know,
(21:00):
for he got him wat he gotoff, he got his He got his
giblets cut off and pickled and putin a jar by the eggs. I'm
not kidding you. That's literally whathappened. And I'm I'm like, and
then an X took them and thatwas the ex the guy with Toad's hat
on I think youreys no toadstool fromSuper Mario Brothers. That was Toad's hat.
(21:25):
Like, what in the world Idon't understand that that. I'm confused.
So what happened is that the theguy who is costplaying as a woman
and thinks that if he just wearsa kerchief on his head and holds a
dog, that you know, voilavagina. That yeah, no, still
that doesn't mean I mean he's stilldo you mean you can you can you
(21:45):
can cut your beans off? Allyou want to is you. He doesn't
you know, you're not go doesn'tgive you, doesn't transform your bits into
a you know, a lady part. But anyway, so he had like
literally his uh giblets pickled in amason jar that his partner kept by the
(22:06):
eggs in the fridge. And thenwhat he got mad because the partner threw
him out? What did you thinkwas gonna happen with them? You can't
reattach them. They're pickled in ajar. And and but that's not the
question. Who does that, likekeeps them in a pickle? Who cuts
it off? And then who keepsthem in a pickle? Jars? I'm
(22:34):
trying and roll hard to be theshepherd kne right. Oh my gosh,
I just it is some mouth,but it is. He did look like
Eddie Hazard right at least Eddie Iszarddoesn't go around telling everybody what pronouns to
use. So I know, Idon't have no problem with Eddie Iszard because
Eddie Iszard just lives his life andhe's not gonna sit here and you know,
(22:56):
push up into your business and belike you need to change your bathroom,
and you were he don't do that. But that guy with the toad
hat that bothered me. I justhated the hat so bad. It just
I think I normally, I knowI'm not supposed to be mean in person
because that's how I was raised tonot be mean. But I really do
think that if I passed that guy, like, say, you know,
(23:18):
I was at Costco and I'm like, you know, with my cart,
and I watched that guy walk aroundwith this toadstool hat, I think I
legit would have to stop him andbe like, oh, I just have
to tell you I hate your hat. I hate it so bad. I
wish I could set it on fire, but sadly it's on your head and
that would be a crime. ButI hate your hat, and then I
would just go off and do mybusiness. Seems perfectly acceptable. Thanks for
(23:40):
tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash'sAbsurd Footh podcast. If you haven't already,
made sure to hit that subscribe buttonon Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever
you get your podcasts.
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his laugh mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida Man. Hmmm mmmm. Okay,
So if Florida Man has wrapped upover thirty one thousand dollars in charges on
(00:21):
his company card purchasing scratch off tickets, like, of all the things that
you're gonna do, you're gonna Imean, I'm not you shouldn't steer a
company card in the first place.But I'm just gonna say, if you're
gonna take your company card and thenyou're gonna go for scratch off tickets,
that's in thirty one thousand dollars ofthem. But that's what Warren Johnson did
Clearwater, Florida Man. He wasarrested thirty one thousand dollars worth of scratch
(00:44):
off lottery tickets on the company creditcard. You know he's gonna get caught.
Pennell's kind of Shriff's off a showthat he was charged with conducting a
scheme to defraud between twenty and fiftythousand, and they said that he's a
truck driver and Affi David found thatthe owner of the company discovered that one
of their credit cards had pretty hada lot of money on it worth fraudulent
(01:07):
charge of fraudulent charges going all theway back to September. So apparently he
was doing this for half a yearbefore he was caught. That's a lot.
That's a lot, and I thinkmaybe they need to run better books
too. I'm just gonna say,all right, so this Florida man,
if you're gonna steal a plane,you better know how to fly it.
(01:30):
La Times says a Florida man stolea plane in California, crash landed it
on an nearby beach and just walkedoff and well he crash landed it,
but it didn't like break up theplanet just well. Wan's got the photo.
Literally, the nose was right inthe sand. He stole a plane
in Palo Alto and then put itdown on a beach in Half Moon Bay,
and the fifty year old Miami nativeLuis Aurez is accused of committing grand
(01:55):
theft arrow at about five pm hetook to the sky's touchdown twenty five away
and apparently one of the officers says, I've been doing this for a long
time, and this is a firstto have someone who I mean, I
don't know. Did he think hewas playing grand theft auto like in person
or like with a plane like inperson? I don't know. Let's see,
this is CBS twelve. A man'spet kangaroo, which I didn't even
(02:23):
know you could actually keep as actuallycan that's kind of thing. A pet
kangaroo was trapped in a pool areaof a Florida apartment complex. So CBS
Channel twelve in Tampa says that akangaroo got into trouble in Tampa. It
made its way to an apartment complexpool. Hillsborough County Sheriff's authorities were called
regarding a kangaroo on the loose,and they released audio and some video as
(02:45):
well. They put it up onhis Facebook page and the dispatcher goes nine
one one do you need police,fire, medical? And nine to one
one goes, I guess police,there's a kangaroo in my apartment. So
they said that they got the hsC or hcso sorry, agricultural unit.
They were united the kangaroo with itsowner, so he did have proper registration
(03:07):
papers and could prove ownership. Ifhe didn't, though, I guess that
would have been you know, hewould have would have been in trouble.
But I mean, I didn't evenknow you could that. The kangaroo was
like bored, Like I feel badfor it. Yeah, is it?
Is it? A baby though,a joey. He's just chilling. He's
hopping around. He looks fun.I want to pet him, carry him
(03:30):
around, like we could be friends. Whenever he see animals, I'm like,
I get the snow white complex,Like I can go talk to them,
and like butterflies and hummingbirds will landon my hands and stuff like that.
You know, I just get thislike major snow white complex. In
fact, whenever anybody's animals like me, I feel like snow white. And
then I hear I hear a choirgo oh, and then the sun like
(03:51):
sun's rays come out, and thenall the animals come and talk to me.
That's what it feels like. Youguys know, he isn't exactly what
I'm talking about. Let's see thisis Two brothers were arrested. Two Florida
dudes were arrested. They robbed aseven year old child on a Broward County
transit bus. It occurred actually thevery end of last month. It was
(04:12):
a city bus. And the twobrothers, Danell Ohser and Darnellenson Ohser,
allegedly stole a cell phone from thechild, a seven year old, while
on the bus, and then theyran away on foot. Officers pursued on
foot. They quickly located them,and while detained, they conducted a live
lineup. Live line up, thevictim of witness positively identified them, and
(04:35):
so the officers noted that the brothersthey didn't use weapons. They used physical
force to take the child phone andthey were arrested in transport to transport it
to Broward County, Maine jail.A seven year old with a phone.
But you don't steal it just becauseyou know, maybe you don't approve of
it, or you want it foryourself. Don't steal like go out and
(04:55):
get a jobby job and you know, kind of kind of do it yourself.
There. That's I don't know.Let's see here. I'm not reading
this one. This one, thisis like a security one. No,
I don't want to read that one. That's boring and it gets too too
technical. Oh here's the one Iwant see. You guys know combos.
I love the combo snacks, right. A Florida man is suing the Combos
(05:18):
people, the people who make thethe snacks, because they were saying that
they didn't have enough cheese in them. Yeah, a Florida man sued Combos
because they said saying that they Idon't I mean, I don't know how
much money you're gonna get. It'sa class action suit. A Florida man's
(05:42):
demanded a trial. He says thatthey don't have enough cheese, and apparently
he says the filling was made withreal cheese, and it says natural flavors.
Real cheese doesn't have natural flavors becausecheese naturally is flavored like cheese.
And so they're literally like going tocourt over it a class action suit.
(06:04):
But something the special counsel said inhis court is that one of the reasons
you were not charged is because,in his description, you are a well
meaning elderly man with a horror memory. I'm well meeting. I'm an elderly
man, and I know what thehell I'm doing. I'm in president and
I put this country back on hisfeet. I don't need his recommendation.
(06:26):
It's totally is your memory, andcan you continue its president? My memory
is so bad, I let youspeak. That's that's memory has gotten worse
at My memory has not got Mymemory is fine. My memory. Take
a look at what I've done sinceI become president. Note even thought I
could pass any of the things Igot passed, how'd that happen? You
(06:48):
know? I guess I just forgotwhat was going on. That's your age?
How are you in this way?I mean, you get this report
of only going to do over theseon some of you. I mean,
I don't know what the hell Isigned up for last night, but I'm
(07:08):
like, you know what I'm gonnahave. Like it was one of those
rare evenings where I didn't have awhole lot going on, and I'm like,
you know, I got some projectsI gotta do. I got you
know, I got some I gotsome stuff going on. I you know,
I I'll maybe I'll get you know, maybe i'll get some stuff for
it, you know, to makea start playing on my Easter dinner.
Maybe I'll start doing this, startplaying on my Easter dinner, right or
(07:30):
maybe you know, maybe I'll playa little Warhammer, I don't know,
or maybe maybe I'll crouchet some It'smy old lady hobby. No, no,
because the president decided to add aspeech to his schedule. It wasn't
on there previously. He decided toadd this speech, and I and I
was doing all I was getting mystuff writing, and I was checking out
Tucker's uh putin interview, which we'regonna talk about. But I was checking
(07:54):
that out. And then and thenBiden was like, I'm gonna do my
speech, you know, and heI don't know what ipeed do people want.
I think they hate him. Ithink they hate him, and I
think they want him to lose.I that's the only reason I can seize
to why you would let that guygo out and do what he did.
Welcome to the show. It's Friday. We made it to Friday, ladies
and gentlemen. Dana Lash here withyou a lot to hit. You can
(08:16):
listen Coast to Coast all that goodstuff. You can also stream, Thank
you It's Friday. Stream the radioprogram, and you can also watch the
simulcast of the radio program as wellif you check it out on a channel
three forty seven, if you lookat direct TV, that's what it's on.
(08:37):
YouTube. Facebook. Always good discussionover at YouTube as well. But
I'm you know, I was excuseme. I'm still into the I'm still
recovering from the plague. It takesyour girl a little bit. And so
you know, I'm looking at this. I was, I was going over
all the clips of his speech.I don't even know where we're going to
start because I feel like you guys, because you guys, you were like
tucking your kids into bed last night. Y'all were getting your your clothes ready
(09:00):
for your work day to day.Y'all were packing your lunches, so you
didn't watch this stuff because you gotto work, right, This is my
job, so can I can?I also, wait a minute, where's
this at? Where's this at?Where's the one he threw his whole staff
under the bus. You heard hishis back and forth with Doocey there just
a minute, just a second ago. Oh my gosh, this is so
(09:24):
bad. Can we please play audiosounbody? Yeah. Seventh, thank you
responsibility seeing hairless with classified material.I take responsibility for not having seen exactly
what my staff was doing. Goesin in twenty out, things that appeared
in my garage, things that cameout of my home, things that were
(09:45):
moved not by me but my staff, but my staff This is the question
I had asked on social media lastnight because I was stunned. He oh
the giant a double snake's tower ofboxes in the corner of his garage next
(10:07):
to his corvette. He didn't notice, he didn't ask That's my question.
He didn't notice any of these things. He didn't ask about any other stuff.
That's my question. I don't getit. I got doesn't make any
sense to me. I mean,people know what's in their garages. My
garage is kind of a hot mess, but I know what's in there.
(10:28):
I can tell you every little thingthat's in there, every little bitty bit
thing. But that's me because Iknow what's going on in my life.
You know what I'm saying, Likethis was nuts. So he blames his
staff, He blames his staff.Can we do the flashback audio sound bite
one? This was when he wasraging on Trump with the classified docs at
(10:48):
mar A Lago. Listen and yousaw the photograph of the top secret documents
laid out on the floor at marA Lago. What did you think to
yourself looking at that image, howthat could possibly happen. I don't want
anyone could be that irresponsible, AndI thought what data was in there that
(11:09):
may compromise sources and methods. Bythat, I mean names of people will
help Thursday, et cetera. Andit's just totally irresponsible. Do we want
to do we want to play sevenagain just to just to compare again.
I mean we just played, butI mean it's a night and day difference.
Just hit it again. One,Just go ahead and play the hit
(11:31):
again. Seeing hairless would classified material. I take responsibility for not having seen
exactly what my staff was doing.It goes in in twenty out things that
appeared in my garage, things thatcame out of my home, things that
were moved not by me but mystaff. But my staff. See it
(11:52):
wasn't moved by him, it wasmoved by his staff. So the so
the classified document probe. What hewent and spoke about is that the guy
who controls the nuclear codes was foundto have mishandled classified info. But the
Department of Justice isn't going to pursueit because they literally say he's not competent
(12:13):
to stand trial. So this iswhat Special Council wrote. Quote. We
have also considered that ad trial,mister Biden would likely present himself to a
jury as he did during our interviewof him as a sympathetic, well meaning
elderly man with a poor memory.Based on our direct interactions with him and
observations of him, he is someonefor whom many jurors will still want to
identify reasonable doubt it would be difficultto convince a jury they should convict him.
(12:37):
By then, a former president willinto his eighties of a serious felony
that requires a mental state of willfulness. So Potatus doesn't have any state of
willfulness. He's just an empty basket, so to speak. They actually don't
believe that he is competent enough tostand trial. That's why they're not pursuing
(12:58):
this. Oh my gosh, butit gets worse. Oh, it gets
worse. Audio SoundBite eight. Iwant you guys to see if you can
spot what's wrong with a statement.Go ahead. The conduct of the response
(13:20):
in the Gaza strip has been overthe top. I think that, as
you know, initially the President ofMexico CC did not want to open up
the gate to allow humanitarian Mataria toget in. I talked to him.
(13:46):
I convinced to open the gate.I talked to Bbie to open the gate
on the Israeli side. So Bidenwent to Mexico to tell Egypt's president to
open the gate. I'm not kiddingbecause CC's the head of Egypt, not
of Mexico. If you get theif you get the newsletter in the morning,
(14:13):
if you're the subscriber that gets theprep that I send out in the
morning, thank me for not overloadingme with memes, because I just briefly
considered making the whole thing memes aboutthis. His geography, according to Joe
Biden, is that Mexico is rightthere under Gaza and right by Israel.
So he went and asked Egypt's presidentto open up, open it up down
(14:37):
there in Mexico. He was talkingto I can't That's what he did.
So he that was last night.You know, if you're if you're trying
to go out and make the casethat you're not an elderly geezer who's losing
his mind, that wasn't the bestway to do it. And then it
made me wonder, are they doingit on purpose? Are they sending him
(14:58):
out on purpose so that they canmake the case to take him out because
they would love to push Gavin Newsomin there. Are they trying to make
the case to force him to stepdown. It's like they let him go
out there, or made him goout there, and then they're doing this
to force him to step down.I mean, I really don't know what
else to say about it. Ireally I don't know. I mean,
(15:18):
the Babylon behead a headline that saysBiden calls for the president to step down.
I feel like we're moments away fromthat. This is crazy. Our
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weapons dot com. That's k EL T e C Weapons dot com.
Tell them Dana sent you, andnow all of the news you would probably
miss. It's time for Dana's Quickfive. So apparently there's Fat Thursday.
Fat Thursday is the Thursday before ashWednesday in February day, so that was
(16:48):
yesterday. I never knew it existed. I knew Fat Tuesday, but Fat
Thursday it's known as I can't evensay this, but it looks funny.
Plus the Swartek and poland that,yeah, that sounds totally right. And
they eat a doughnut filled with rosehip jam and dusted with powdered sugar.
(17:10):
That sounds lovely. So I neverknew that there was like a fat Thursday.
Tons of rain forced gallons of rawsewage to spill from La County sewers.
What are all of the politicians doingand the sewer? Oh eight,
that's sewage. That's did you thinkI was gonna have be series about the
headline. No, they're trying todeal with muddy because it's the Pineapple Express,
the Atmospheric River and the La Basinis trying to cope and they can't.
(17:34):
So they had a huge spill.It was Rancho Dominga's eight million gallons
overflowed manholes, stream into storm brains. It was pretty bad. Ooh,
it's see this truck accident. Letme pull this up. This is w
G A L Channel eight. Atruck rolled over a highway in Franklin County,
(17:56):
splitting the truck open and it wasapparently there were a number of tractor
trailers involved. One of them wascarrying vics. It was a truck full
of the vis Vapo rub and someof the humidifiers. I bet everybody could
breathe easier now I'm just that wasa horrible joke. Be you know what
I mean. Let's see here thisthere was a tiny dog that made a
(18:21):
mess, had a little accident ona flight. This is New York Post.
It was because some people can bringtheir dogs into the cabin, but
the dog was let out of itscrate, which is something that's not supposed
to happen. And apparently the dogmade a mess and everybody in the cabin
had to deal with it. Theysaid it was horrible and that the lady,
the dog's owner, wouldn't clean itup. Yeah, and they said
(18:44):
that the flight attendants had to dealwith it. It was on the edge
of a seat and another lady refusedto move or take She refused to move
her dog or take responsibility for it. See, that's just being a bad
pet owner. Like that's I thinkthat's abusive to your dog and abusive to
every everyone else. Just like,be a decent human if you're going to
do this. So apparently there's nowan Ai toddler. This is just not
(19:06):
going to end. Well, it'scalled Tong Tong. Yeah, it's an
Ai model, or it means littlegirl in English. It was created by
the Beijing, of course, it'sChina Beijing Institute for General Artificial Intelligence.
That's what they want everyone to be. Just like a robotic little tititler' That's
what it is like SAMs through thehour glass. So are the days of
(19:26):
the United States? So hit misterBoyd Chakowski's response. He admits that he
possessed the medical specimen, and headmits that he disposed of them. Okay,
I twenty twenty two until July oftwenty twenty three when I disposed to
that. Yeah. So, becausethat physical anomaly has done a point of
(19:52):
stress in my life since I canremember. And my middle name that I
chose is D. Because my wholelife I've been called fig D com D
from the D. And I thankGod that these D's nuts were extracted.
Oh yeah, we're put into aBible hazard back. And for the giggles,
(20:17):
I put them in a Mason jarand I put them in the fridge
next to the eggs conversation. Whatis up with the headwear for these This
guy's wearing like Mario Brothers Toad's hat. I'm I'm I feel like I'm looking
(20:38):
at Eddie Izzard and Toad from SuperMario Brothers with the beard. I'm really
confused right now. This is whatthis is what Caine shows for days of
these United States. It's a dudewho had his his giblets snipped and put
because you know, that's what normaldudes do. They get their giblets snipped
and putting a mason jar pickled nextto the eggs nipped, you know,
(21:00):
for he got him wat he gotoff, he got his He got his
giblets cut off and pickled and putin a jar by the eggs. I'm
not kidding you. That's literally whathappened. And I'm I'm like, and
then an X took them and thatwas the ex the guy with Toad's hat
on I think youreys no toadstool fromSuper Mario Brothers. That was Toad's hat.
(21:25):
Like, what in the world Idon't understand that that. I'm confused.
So what happened is that the theguy who is costplaying as a woman
and thinks that if he just wearsa kerchief on his head and holds a
dog, that you know, voilavagina. That yeah, no, still
that doesn't mean I mean he's stilldo you mean you can you can you
(21:45):
can cut your beans off? Allyou want to is you. He doesn't
you know, you're not go doesn'tgive you, doesn't transform your bits into
a you know, a lady part. But anyway, so he had like
literally his uh giblets pickled in amason jar that his partner kept by the
(22:06):
eggs in the fridge. And thenwhat he got mad because the partner threw
him out? What did you thinkwas gonna happen with them? You can't
reattach them. They're pickled in ajar. And and but that's not the
question. Who does that, likekeeps them in a pickle? Who cuts
it off? And then who keepsthem in a pickle? Jars? I'm
(22:34):
trying and roll hard to be theshepherd kne right. Oh my gosh,
I just it is some mouth,but it is. He did look like
Eddie Hazard right at least Eddie Iszarddoesn't go around telling everybody what pronouns to
use. So I know, Idon't have no problem with Eddie Iszard because
Eddie Iszard just lives his life andhe's not gonna sit here and you know,
(22:56):
push up into your business and belike you need to change your bathroom,
and you were he don't do that. But that guy with the toad
hat that bothered me. I justhated the hat so bad. It just
I think I normally, I knowI'm not supposed to be mean in person
because that's how I was raised tonot be mean. But I really do
think that if I passed that guy, like, say, you know,
(23:18):
I was at Costco and I'm like, you know, with my cart,
and I watched that guy walk aroundwith this toadstool hat, I think I
legit would have to stop him andbe like, oh, I just have
to tell you I hate your hat. I hate it so bad. I
wish I could set it on fire, but sadly it's on your head and
that would be a crime. ButI hate your hat, and then I
would just go off and do mybusiness. Seems perfectly acceptable. Thanks for
(23:40):
tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash'sAbsurd Footh podcast. If you haven't already,
made sure to hit that subscribe buttonon Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever
you get your podcasts.
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