April 23, 2024 • 18 mins
A crazy Palestine protester harasses Alec Baldwin in a coffee shop. John Fetterman once again makes a based remark about Israel and violent protesters. Illegal immigrants who were shipped to Martha’s Vineyard are given “crime victim visas”.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his laugh mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida Man, a nice Florida man story
to Florida women drove they well,they were attempting to drive from Jacksonville five
hundred miles down the coast of Floridato earn the Guinness World Record for longest
(00:23):
distance by toy cars. That's athing that people do. Okay with the
toy cars, all right? Imean, do you have real tires on
it? It doesn't say. Thepiece doesn't say. I would imagine the
little plastic tires aren't going to holdup, just saying a Florida man used
a cardboard box to hide his facewhile breaking into a port Orange business.
(00:44):
Say deputies, Yes, this Floridaman tried to conceal his identity with a
cardboard box over his head. Hewas stealing all kinds of stuff and he
in these multiple businesses. Detectors werethe footage and then they saw him,
uh literally go out to the dumpster, get on his bicycle and take the
(01:04):
box off his head and then tryto pedal away, Which goes into my
theory that you don't see kids buyon bicycles anymore. It's just crackheads.
Uh. And they found the boxthat he used discarded in the alley outside
the business. They did catch him, uh and he was arrested Alan Gudreau
for a burglar of an unoccupied structural, criminal, mischief, and petty theft.
(01:29):
Cardboard box doesn't do anything when youtake it off in full view of
the CCTV. Okay, stick withus. We got we got more in
store, Aleck. Can you please? They've be pounced down one time?
Why did you kill that lady?You kill that lady? Got no jail
(01:51):
time, No jail time, Alec, No jail time, Alex. You'll
put it innocent people in jail,Alec Goldwin. Free Palistine, Alex,
just one time and I'll leave youalone. I'll leave you alone, I
swear. Just say free Palestine onetime, one time, one time,
(02:12):
one time, Alex. You acriminal. You he's a criminal. Come
on, Alex, just say freePalistine one time, one time, just
one time, please, and I'llleave you alone. Free Palestine is real
Zionism. Please say it and onetime? Then there oh the there it
(02:36):
is? That was uh So Cainand I are kind of joking about this.
That was this Alec Baldwin was insome bakery in Manhattan getting coffee or
whatever. I don't know what he'sdoing. I don't care. He's not
in jail, and uh, thisbroad decides, I mean it was funny,
but also at the same time,let them eat each other. I
(02:58):
don't care. I don't care.Canaan and we're having a conversation about this.
We're like, yeah, two dumbsusually don't make a rite, but
it is entertaining and I'm okay withthat. Welcome back to the show,
Dana lash with you. We're atthe bottom of this first hour. I'm
okay with that. I don't knowif y'all. There was community notes on
this because this chick had said,oh my gosh, white devil Alec Baldwin
assaulted me because because I said hewas a murderer or something like that,
(03:22):
and the community note was something tothe effect of, well, he has
not been yet, he's not beenconvicted yet, and there's no evidence that
he's actually a white devil, butthis woman is a bee and very annoying,
and it was it's comical. Theywere getting the community notes were getting
spicy. Yesterday but it is justlet him eat each let him meet themselves.
(03:44):
Can I get an then? Whatwhat a free what a fictional place?
How about free Atlantis? How aboutthat same same effect? Right,
good grief? Except Atlantis now isa resort on the Bahamas. They could
have a resort in Gaza, butthey're too busy digging tunnels and blowing people
up and shooting rockets off of elementaryschool roofs. So there, you don't
(04:10):
speaking of Gaza. I guys,I gotta tell you, I'm at a
loss of words where it concerns oneJohn Futterman. Now we've given him a
hoodie pass, and is he goingfor the umbro pass for life? I
don't know. Everybody knows what umbrosare, right? Does anyone not know
(04:33):
what umbros are? I'm looking specificallyat our millennials and our older gen zers.
Everybody knows what umbros are, right? He does not know what umbros
are? No? Okay, firstup before we continue on this, because
it's it's referenced a lot. Umbrosis the short uniform of choice for all
(04:59):
high school athletes in the nineties.Girls and guys come in all colors,
and they were so useful Kane,Were they not? You had all different
types of the umbros, all differenttypes. You wore them for soccer practice.
You weren't for track you want,I mean for everything softball. Everybody
wore umbros. You wore them ingym class, you wore them on the
weekends when you went bike round inyour friend's house. Cane, right,
(05:21):
you had umbros. I had umbros. Sever Yeah, like everybody had umbros.
It was the thing that everybody had. Steve, you know what umbros
are? Oh my gosh. SometimesI love them so much. It's like
working with Martians. It's my faces. I love it. They're like,
what gonna buy them? Rotary phonesfor Christmas? Oh? Man? Are
(05:42):
the clear phones where you can seeall the guts and it has the long
cord. Man, those are thejam That's when you know you arrived as
a teen. Did you have aclear phone where you all the guts inside
were color? Yeah? Lit upwhen it rang so great? Everybody had
umbros. Now, I don't thinkhe wears umbros because these are quite long,
and I think their most mostly ofa jersey knit material. We'd call
(06:02):
that sweat, you know, likea sweat material sweatshirt. Sweatshort. But
no, no, no, Nowyou got to say it's a jersey knit
material. You got to make thefabric sound way fancier than it is because
you know inflation, right, Soyou got to it's a five dollars up
charge for a damn pair of sweatshorts. No, no, no, no,
sweatshort. It's a jersey knit.See that's how you do it.
(06:23):
I just sold you into paying fivedollars extra for sweatshorts. So I think
he's going for like the perpetual umbropass now, so he I can't read
how this is written on my audiolist, sadly, but audio SoundBite five,
if you please. It's completely reasonableto want to cease fire or to
(06:46):
have a different view on that.Absolutely, that's a democracy, but it
is not appropriate or illegal or it'shelpful to advance your argument. If you
show up in a Starbucks, Imean the Starbucks with a bullhorn and start
yelling at people, and that doesn'tmake you noble, it just makes you
asshole. It's very American to protest, and to do that in the appropriate
(07:11):
way, then I absolutely support that. I'm not suggesting that you have to
agree with my view, but it'sjust saying it doesn't really allow you to
disrupt lives and to inflict those kindsof damages on people that are just trying
to get on with their lives.Wow. Wow, I really wish that
I could use that as a bandname. The Noble blank Hole so great.
(07:34):
He's not wrong. It's like ifyou're taking a bullhorn into Starbucks.
That just first off, how doyou make an annoying place more annoying?
You take a bullhorn into it andyou start screaming about freeing a fictional place
that isn't actually not free. Right, That's how you make a place more
annoying. He's not wrong. Where'shis wife at? I love the fact
(07:56):
that we don't know where's she at? It's like where she She's not there?
He's on fire? What is upwith that? I don't know.
I don't want to like, Idon't want to be mean to him,
And I'm not gonna sit here andsay I have a friend who's like,
stop celebrating every damn thing that JohnFutterman says. He's a Democrat, he's
still stupid on everything else. Buthold up, hold up, we live
in weird times. I will takeallies on certain issues where I can get
(08:20):
them. I'm okay with that.I am okay with walking us back to
a ground of normalcy by giving backpats for things that someone may do that
their rest of their party doesn't do, and the rest of their party makes
it difficult for someone to do that. I bet he's not invited to sit
at the cool kids table and theSenate lunch room anymore. I mean,
(08:41):
I'm sure they do that because they'reall petty little democrats. I'm sure they
do that. We got to sendhim, yeah, we first off,
we got to get those Kane Kanegoes. We need to send him a
Dana Show hoodie. He would neverwear it, but maybe he would.
I don't care. But I justfeel he's got the hoodie pass. Now.
Now it's like he's he's going forthe umbro pass. Do you know
(09:03):
what's gonna have? Have you everseen that meme where it's Vince McMahon and
it's a three panel thing and hemakes a happy face and then he's real
excited and then his head blows upfor the third panel, Like if Fetterman
were to come out and be like, yeah, everybody needs to leave the
Second Amendment alone, I would bethe third panel. Vince McMahon. My
head would explode. I wouldn't knowwhat to do with myself. I don't
I don't know. I don't knowhow how would I deal with that?
(09:24):
I'm not quite sure. He justneeds, I think, to stay on
this line, to stay on thisstay on this path. Uh. It's
uh. At least he's saying it, and he's and he's right. Why
why are people afraid to say that? Why are people afraid to say that?
Like, you're just a jackwagon ifyou're going into these private businesses and
you're doing this stuff, if you'reblocking roads our partners who help bring you
(09:48):
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(11:16):
E C. Weapons dot Com.Tell them Dana sent you, and now
all of the news you would probablymiss. It's time for Dana's Quick five.
This makes me sad because I don'twant to see two bruhs suing each
other, you know what I'm saying, And I like, I don't dislike
either of them. David Beckham isapparently suing Mark Wahlberg after a fitness brand
deal soured and it left him afew million out of pocket. His firm
(11:39):
dB Ventures Limited as claiming that Isomehow that he was duped into working with
F forty five. That's Mark Wahlberg'slike, he's got investments in that gym.
And he's also suing the actors firm, the Wahlberg Investment Group and Group,
and the gym group F forty five'sfounders as well. He says the
last point five million win stocks hewas promised were withheld until after shares the
(12:03):
share price is plummeted. So theWaalberg and his codefendants are saying that it's
fraud, the fraudylent conduct or faceless. They're asking to have the suit dismissed.
Why, Like, it's just sosad, Stop fighting. It's like
watching your brothers fight and you don'tknow who's side to get on. Stop
it. I mean, I letMark Wahlberg because you know, it's come
(12:24):
on, he's cool. But thisis still sad. America's fight to save
handwriting from extinction because people are gettingdumber and teachers are warning that some twenty
year olds can't even sign checks anymore. But can I be honest with you,
after seeing the way some of themvote, I'm actually in favor of
not teaching them to write. Uh. And in fact, I would be
in favor of not teaching them toread and then duping them into signing their
(12:46):
voting rights away. I'm just notabove any of this. Be honest with
you right now. It's too bad. It's not It's not my fault that
they're stupid. It's not my fault. You know. This is what happens
if you don't get taught handwriting inschool. I mean, I can't even
read half of these people. It'slike, did you write with your feet?
Have you seen the way some ofthem write? I can't even read
it. I think chickens write cleanerand they stay on the line better.
(13:07):
But states, several states just totell you what's up. Several states are
trying to prevent handwriting from going instinctbecause everybody's been using tablets and computers,
and the robots are gonna laugh atus because we're not gonna be able to
communicate with each other, because we'regonna have typed everything, and we're gonna
live in this wally universe where we'reall fat, and we're all in these
inflatable floaty chairs and basically incinerated forfood because there's no other way that we
(13:28):
can get our protein on that giantship. You didn't expect it to go
there, did you, But itdid. Let's see here, a pensioner
was stabbed in front of a SanFrancisco church in broad daylight, and that
Ladies and Gentlemen is the avatar storyfor San Francisco and the lipstick effect.
So there's this stupid measure that peopleare using saying that experts allege that a
(13:50):
surgeon makeup purchases is a signal ofbad times for the economy to come,
because women will buy lipsticks and otherthings as a win to indulge in affordable
luxury. And I just think thatmaybe some women just want to buy some
damn lipstick and some of y'all needto stop reading so much into it.
What about buying gold and ammo?What does that poortend for the you know
(14:13):
what's that forecast? And people whouse aspirin daily are at a lower risk
of colon cancer. Studies suggest wehave a lot more on the way stick
with us. This is the headlinethat is a New York Post illegal immigrants,
because I don't use the term migrants. Migrants. That's if you're coming.
If I were to go to anothercountry legally, you could call me
(14:35):
a migrant. If I were toinjure another country illegally, I would be
an illegal alien in that country.Same applies here. Illegal immigrants ship to
Martha's Neyard by Governor Ron DeSantis,are given crime are given crime victim visas?
Cain yea, what is a crimevictim visa? My first initial thought
(14:58):
I thought it has something to dowith like the asylum seekers. I'm a
crime victim. I just had thegovernment still a whole hell lot of my
money last week. I am avictim of crime. We're all victims.
We're all victims of crime. Where'smy crimes? Crime victim visa? It's
a good point, but I wouldhave magine, isn't this the asylum?
Is this what they're trying to do? Like visa so weird? So they
(15:20):
got they got convinced that they wereduped into boarding charter flights even though they
were told where they were going.And now they're going to be like,
well we weren't told, Yes,you were shut up. You don't you
know what? You go where wetell you to go. You come in
illegally. Just be happy that we'renot, you know, I mean,
there's there's crazier things that could bedone. Oh you got sent to Martha's
vineyard. Oh tears, you gotsent to a super rich liberal enclave.
(15:45):
Oh crind for you. They saidthey were duped into boarding these charter flights.
They even got on a charter flight. I bet they could take bigger
now, I bet they could takebigger items than three point four ounces of
liquid? What you want that?So they got sent with false promises of
jobs and housing. Well it's thegovernment they lied to you. Wyeah.
(16:07):
Welcome to America, morons. That'swhat they do to us every day.
Oh yeah, you're social Security,you're gonna have it. It's broke it's
empty. We don't got nothing.Don't tell them that you're gonna do something.
It's totally broke. We don't gotanything in there. We spin it
all in studying lesbian obesity and shrimpon treadmills. We don't know what the
hell we got. So they werelied to. They're like the government lied
(16:30):
to us. Get in line.At least three of the forty nine illegal
immigrants involved in the flight operation theyreceived bona fide determinations for the their U
visas applications. Wait, you canapply for that, but you couldn't,
like, I don't know, underthe country legally, they said that they
(16:52):
can't. They got these U visas, they can't be deported while they wait
for the visa to come through.And they're called basically crime victim V.
So you get rewarded for breaking thelaw. Wait, you're you broke the
law? How are you a crimevictim? You broke it? Oh,
they're super excited. The lefties aresuper excited. Oh, they backfired the
(17:15):
migrant flight stunt, even though JoeBiden was doing it long before any Republican
governor was. But they said thatthese and they're all from Venezuela and they
get the crime Victim Visa or theU visa, and it can lead to
permanent lawful status in the United States. Kine does not like that outcome.
(17:41):
Nobody would like that. It's avictim visa, and it's designed for victims
of certain crimes who have suffered mentalor physical abuse and are blah blah blah
helpful law enforcement whatever. I don'tknow what, but you broke the law.
You're not a victim of a crime. You did the crime. I'm
a victim of your crime. Where'smy victim visa? I want a victim
(18:02):
something. Where do I get where? Where's mine? Where's yours? Cane,
We've been all victimized crime, victimvisa, you visa? So that's
But now it's interesting in that they'reclaiming that somehow they were falsely manipulated into
get in on these flights because Decantasaid of it. Never because Biden's done
(18:23):
this. They've had planes leaving Jacksonville, Florida, at like two am.
There's video of it, there werelocal reports of it, and the White
House got super mad when they wereasked about it. Think they still are
doing it. Thanks for tuning intotoday's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Tooth podcast.
If you haven't already, made sureto hit that subscribe button on Apple
(18:45):
Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you getyour podcasts.
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his laugh mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida Man, a nice Florida man story
to Florida women drove they well,they were attempting to drive from Jacksonville five
hundred miles down the coast of Floridato earn the Guinness World Record for longest
(00:23):
distance by toy cars. That's athing that people do. Okay with the
toy cars, all right? Imean, do you have real tires on
it? It doesn't say. Thepiece doesn't say. I would imagine the
little plastic tires aren't going to holdup, just saying a Florida man used
a cardboard box to hide his facewhile breaking into a port Orange business.
(00:44):
Say deputies, Yes, this Floridaman tried to conceal his identity with a
cardboard box over his head. Hewas stealing all kinds of stuff and he
in these multiple businesses. Detectors werethe footage and then they saw him,
uh literally go out to the dumpster, get on his bicycle and take the
(01:04):
box off his head and then tryto pedal away, Which goes into my
theory that you don't see kids buyon bicycles anymore. It's just crackheads.
Uh. And they found the boxthat he used discarded in the alley outside
the business. They did catch him, uh and he was arrested Alan Gudreau
for a burglar of an unoccupied structural, criminal, mischief, and petty theft.
(01:29):
Cardboard box doesn't do anything when youtake it off in full view of
the CCTV. Okay, stick withus. We got we got more in
store, Aleck. Can you please? They've be pounced down one time?
Why did you kill that lady?You kill that lady? Got no jail
(01:51):
time, No jail time, Alec, No jail time, Alex. You'll
put it innocent people in jail,Alec Goldwin. Free Palistine, Alex,
just one time and I'll leave youalone. I'll leave you alone, I
swear. Just say free Palestine onetime, one time, one time,
(02:12):
one time, Alex. You acriminal. You he's a criminal. Come
on, Alex, just say freePalistine one time, one time, just
one time, please, and I'llleave you alone. Free Palestine is real
Zionism. Please say it and onetime? Then there oh the there it
(02:36):
is? That was uh So Cainand I are kind of joking about this.
That was this Alec Baldwin was insome bakery in Manhattan getting coffee or
whatever. I don't know what he'sdoing. I don't care. He's not
in jail, and uh, thisbroad decides, I mean it was funny,
but also at the same time,let them eat each other. I
(02:58):
don't care. I don't care.Canaan and we're having a conversation about this.
We're like, yeah, two dumbsusually don't make a rite, but
it is entertaining and I'm okay withthat. Welcome back to the show,
Dana lash with you. We're atthe bottom of this first hour. I'm
okay with that. I don't knowif y'all. There was community notes on
this because this chick had said,oh my gosh, white devil Alec Baldwin
assaulted me because because I said hewas a murderer or something like that,
(03:22):
and the community note was something tothe effect of, well, he has
not been yet, he's not beenconvicted yet, and there's no evidence that
he's actually a white devil, butthis woman is a bee and very annoying,
and it was it's comical. Theywere getting the community notes were getting
spicy. Yesterday but it is justlet him eat each let him meet themselves.
(03:44):
Can I get an then? Whatwhat a free what a fictional place?
How about free Atlantis? How aboutthat same same effect? Right,
good grief? Except Atlantis now isa resort on the Bahamas. They could
have a resort in Gaza, butthey're too busy digging tunnels and blowing people
up and shooting rockets off of elementaryschool roofs. So there, you don't
(04:10):
speaking of Gaza. I guys,I gotta tell you, I'm at a
loss of words where it concerns oneJohn Futterman. Now we've given him a
hoodie pass, and is he goingfor the umbro pass for life? I
don't know. Everybody knows what umbrosare, right? Does anyone not know
(04:33):
what umbros are? I'm looking specificallyat our millennials and our older gen zers.
Everybody knows what umbros are, right? He does not know what umbros
are? No? Okay, firstup before we continue on this, because
it's it's referenced a lot. Umbrosis the short uniform of choice for all
(04:59):
high school athletes in the nineties.Girls and guys come in all colors,
and they were so useful Kane,Were they not? You had all different
types of the umbros, all differenttypes. You wore them for soccer practice.
You weren't for track you want,I mean for everything softball. Everybody
wore umbros. You wore them ingym class, you wore them on the
weekends when you went bike round inyour friend's house. Cane, right,
(05:21):
you had umbros. I had umbros. Sever Yeah, like everybody had umbros.
It was the thing that everybody had. Steve, you know what umbros
are? Oh my gosh. SometimesI love them so much. It's like
working with Martians. It's my faces. I love it. They're like,
what gonna buy them? Rotary phonesfor Christmas? Oh? Man? Are
(05:42):
the clear phones where you can seeall the guts and it has the long
cord. Man, those are thejam That's when you know you arrived as
a teen. Did you have aclear phone where you all the guts inside
were color? Yeah? Lit upwhen it rang so great? Everybody had
umbros. Now, I don't thinkhe wears umbros because these are quite long,
and I think their most mostly ofa jersey knit material. We'd call
(06:02):
that sweat, you know, likea sweat material sweatshirt. Sweatshort. But
no, no, no, Nowyou got to say it's a jersey knit
material. You got to make thefabric sound way fancier than it is because
you know inflation, right, Soyou got to it's a five dollars up
charge for a damn pair of sweatshorts. No, no, no, no,
sweatshort. It's a jersey knit.See that's how you do it.
(06:23):
I just sold you into paying fivedollars extra for sweatshorts. So I think
he's going for like the perpetual umbropass now, so he I can't read
how this is written on my audiolist, sadly, but audio SoundBite five,
if you please. It's completely reasonableto want to cease fire or to
(06:46):
have a different view on that.Absolutely, that's a democracy, but it
is not appropriate or illegal or it'shelpful to advance your argument. If you
show up in a Starbucks, Imean the Starbucks with a bullhorn and start
yelling at people, and that doesn'tmake you noble, it just makes you
asshole. It's very American to protest, and to do that in the appropriate
(07:11):
way, then I absolutely support that. I'm not suggesting that you have to
agree with my view, but it'sjust saying it doesn't really allow you to
disrupt lives and to inflict those kindsof damages on people that are just trying
to get on with their lives.Wow. Wow, I really wish that
I could use that as a bandname. The Noble blank Hole so great.
(07:34):
He's not wrong. It's like ifyou're taking a bullhorn into Starbucks.
That just first off, how doyou make an annoying place more annoying?
You take a bullhorn into it andyou start screaming about freeing a fictional place
that isn't actually not free. Right, That's how you make a place more
annoying. He's not wrong. Where'shis wife at? I love the fact
(07:56):
that we don't know where's she at? It's like where she She's not there?
He's on fire? What is upwith that? I don't know.
I don't want to like, Idon't want to be mean to him,
And I'm not gonna sit here andsay I have a friend who's like,
stop celebrating every damn thing that JohnFutterman says. He's a Democrat, he's
still stupid on everything else. Buthold up, hold up, we live
in weird times. I will takeallies on certain issues where I can get
(08:20):
them. I'm okay with that.I am okay with walking us back to
a ground of normalcy by giving backpats for things that someone may do that
their rest of their party doesn't do, and the rest of their party makes
it difficult for someone to do that. I bet he's not invited to sit
at the cool kids table and theSenate lunch room anymore. I mean,
(08:41):
I'm sure they do that because they'reall petty little democrats. I'm sure they
do that. We got to sendhim, yeah, we first off,
we got to get those Kane Kanegoes. We need to send him a
Dana Show hoodie. He would neverwear it, but maybe he would.
I don't care. But I justfeel he's got the hoodie pass. Now.
Now it's like he's he's going forthe umbro pass. Do you know
(09:03):
what's gonna have? Have you everseen that meme where it's Vince McMahon and
it's a three panel thing and hemakes a happy face and then he's real
excited and then his head blows upfor the third panel, Like if Fetterman
were to come out and be like, yeah, everybody needs to leave the
Second Amendment alone, I would bethe third panel. Vince McMahon. My
head would explode. I wouldn't knowwhat to do with myself. I don't
I don't know. I don't knowhow how would I deal with that?
(09:24):
I'm not quite sure. He justneeds, I think, to stay on
this line, to stay on thisstay on this path. Uh. It's
uh. At least he's saying it, and he's and he's right. Why
why are people afraid to say that? Why are people afraid to say that?
Like, you're just a jackwagon ifyou're going into these private businesses and
you're doing this stuff, if you'reblocking roads our partners who help bring you
(09:48):
free radio. The folks over atCaltech you've heard me talk for months now
about the Celtech Sub two K.Nothing's changed. It's still a brand.
They came out with it earlier thisyear. Uh, and it's been shipping.
And so the sub two a ninemillimeter carbine. It folds in half.
It's great when space is limited,and it's just a very innovative.
The whole the way it's designed isincredibly innovative. And I like the previous
(10:11):
iterations and I have the Gen twonow, the Gen three that they have.
You don't have to detach your opticsanymore to fold it in half,
which is nice. The whole thingthat twist and turn rotating for in it's
patent pending. It just you know, quickly and easily folds it half.
Also can just as quickly and easilydeploy it as well. And some of
(10:33):
the other upgrades that they made toit include they have the trigger redesign mechanics.
You get a lightened five pound pool, so that translates into improved accuracy.
The action's been updated, the operatinghandles is super it's easier to pull
back. You have an internal bufferthat means softer felt recoil. There's just
(10:54):
a lot of really cool stuff thatthey've improved on this. And so if
you haven't seen the Gen three Subtwo Kate reaches sub two thousand on the
website, you got to go checkit out. It's from Celtech, family
owned and operated, made in America, Florida based, and all their stuff
super innovative, and I mean it'sthis sub two k is one of the
cooler things that they make. Yougotta check it out. To learn more
about it, visit kel tech weaponsdot com. K E L T.
(11:16):
E C. Weapons dot Com.Tell them Dana sent you, and now
all of the news you would probablymiss. It's time for Dana's Quick five.
This makes me sad because I don'twant to see two bruhs suing each
other, you know what I'm saying, And I like, I don't dislike
either of them. David Beckham isapparently suing Mark Wahlberg after a fitness brand
deal soured and it left him afew million out of pocket. His firm
(11:39):
dB Ventures Limited as claiming that Isomehow that he was duped into working with
F forty five. That's Mark Wahlberg'slike, he's got investments in that gym.
And he's also suing the actors firm, the Wahlberg Investment Group and Group,
and the gym group F forty five'sfounders as well. He says the
last point five million win stocks hewas promised were withheld until after shares the
(12:03):
share price is plummeted. So theWaalberg and his codefendants are saying that it's
fraud, the fraudylent conduct or faceless. They're asking to have the suit dismissed.
Why, Like, it's just sosad, Stop fighting. It's like
watching your brothers fight and you don'tknow who's side to get on. Stop
it. I mean, I letMark Wahlberg because you know, it's come
(12:24):
on, he's cool. But thisis still sad. America's fight to save
handwriting from extinction because people are gettingdumber and teachers are warning that some twenty
year olds can't even sign checks anymore. But can I be honest with you,
after seeing the way some of themvote, I'm actually in favor of
not teaching them to write. Uh. And in fact, I would be
in favor of not teaching them toread and then duping them into signing their
(12:46):
voting rights away. I'm just notabove any of this. Be honest with
you right now. It's too bad. It's not It's not my fault that
they're stupid. It's not my fault. You know. This is what happens
if you don't get taught handwriting inschool. I mean, I can't even
read half of these people. It'slike, did you write with your feet?
Have you seen the way some ofthem write? I can't even read
it. I think chickens write cleanerand they stay on the line better.
(13:07):
But states, several states just totell you what's up. Several states are
trying to prevent handwriting from going instinctbecause everybody's been using tablets and computers,
and the robots are gonna laugh atus because we're not gonna be able to
communicate with each other, because we'regonna have typed everything, and we're gonna
live in this wally universe where we'reall fat, and we're all in these
inflatable floaty chairs and basically incinerated forfood because there's no other way that we
(13:28):
can get our protein on that giantship. You didn't expect it to go
there, did you, But itdid. Let's see here, a pensioner
was stabbed in front of a SanFrancisco church in broad daylight, and that
Ladies and Gentlemen is the avatar storyfor San Francisco and the lipstick effect.
So there's this stupid measure that peopleare using saying that experts allege that a
(13:50):
surgeon makeup purchases is a signal ofbad times for the economy to come,
because women will buy lipsticks and otherthings as a win to indulge in affordable
luxury. And I just think thatmaybe some women just want to buy some
damn lipstick and some of y'all needto stop reading so much into it.
What about buying gold and ammo?What does that poortend for the you know
(14:13):
what's that forecast? And people whouse aspirin daily are at a lower risk
of colon cancer. Studies suggest wehave a lot more on the way stick
with us. This is the headlinethat is a New York Post illegal immigrants,
because I don't use the term migrants. Migrants. That's if you're coming.
If I were to go to anothercountry legally, you could call me
(14:35):
a migrant. If I were toinjure another country illegally, I would be
an illegal alien in that country.Same applies here. Illegal immigrants ship to
Martha's Neyard by Governor Ron DeSantis,are given crime are given crime victim visas?
Cain yea, what is a crimevictim visa? My first initial thought
(14:58):
I thought it has something to dowith like the asylum seekers. I'm a
crime victim. I just had thegovernment still a whole hell lot of my
money last week. I am avictim of crime. We're all victims.
We're all victims of crime. Where'smy crimes? Crime victim visa? It's
a good point, but I wouldhave magine, isn't this the asylum?
Is this what they're trying to do? Like visa so weird? So they
(15:20):
got they got convinced that they wereduped into boarding charter flights even though they
were told where they were going.And now they're going to be like,
well we weren't told, Yes,you were shut up. You don't you
know what? You go where wetell you to go. You come in
illegally. Just be happy that we'renot, you know, I mean,
there's there's crazier things that could bedone. Oh you got sent to Martha's
vineyard. Oh tears, you gotsent to a super rich liberal enclave.
(15:45):
Oh crind for you. They saidthey were duped into boarding these charter flights.
They even got on a charter flight. I bet they could take bigger
now, I bet they could takebigger items than three point four ounces of
liquid? What you want that?So they got sent with false promises of
jobs and housing. Well it's thegovernment they lied to you. Wyeah.
(16:07):
Welcome to America, morons. That'swhat they do to us every day.
Oh yeah, you're social Security,you're gonna have it. It's broke it's
empty. We don't got nothing.Don't tell them that you're gonna do something.
It's totally broke. We don't gotanything in there. We spin it
all in studying lesbian obesity and shrimpon treadmills. We don't know what the
hell we got. So they werelied to. They're like the government lied
(16:30):
to us. Get in line.At least three of the forty nine illegal
immigrants involved in the flight operation theyreceived bona fide determinations for the their U
visas applications. Wait, you canapply for that, but you couldn't,
like, I don't know, underthe country legally, they said that they
(16:52):
can't. They got these U visas, they can't be deported while they wait
for the visa to come through.And they're called basically crime victim V.
So you get rewarded for breaking thelaw. Wait, you're you broke the
law? How are you a crimevictim? You broke it? Oh,
they're super excited. The lefties aresuper excited. Oh, they backfired the
(17:15):
migrant flight stunt, even though JoeBiden was doing it long before any Republican
governor was. But they said thatthese and they're all from Venezuela and they
get the crime Victim Visa or theU visa, and it can lead to
permanent lawful status in the United States. Kine does not like that outcome.
(17:41):
Nobody would like that. It's avictim visa, and it's designed for victims
of certain crimes who have suffered mentalor physical abuse and are blah blah blah
helpful law enforcement whatever. I don'tknow what, but you broke the law.
You're not a victim of a crime. You did the crime. I'm
a victim of your crime. Where'smy victim visa? I want a victim
(18:02):
something. Where do I get where? Where's mine? Where's yours? Cane,
We've been all victimized crime, victimvisa, you visa? So that's
But now it's interesting in that they'reclaiming that somehow they were falsely manipulated into
get in on these flights because Decantasaid of it. Never because Biden's done
(18:23):
this. They've had planes leaving Jacksonville, Florida, at like two am.
There's video of it, there werelocal reports of it, and the White
House got super mad when they wereasked about it. Think they still are
doing it. Thanks for tuning intotoday's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Tooth podcast.
If you haven't already, made sureto hit that subscribe button on Apple
(18:45):
Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you getyour podcasts.
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