April 26, 2024 • 19 mins
A heckler completely rolls “Morning Joe” calling them “fake news” as they covered Trump’s case. Meanwhile, why did Prince Harry give an award to a US combat medic?
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his life mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida man. Man. This was the
worst disguise I've ever seen a Floridaman and Tampa decide to put on his
best dress to go and steal himselfa boat. On Wednesday afternoon, according
(00:23):
to the Claye's kind Of Sheriff's Office, just after three pm, deputies were
investigating a stolen boat in the OkaloosaLodge in Lakeport. They said deputies were
surveying the area cane and they spottedthe suspect, identified as Joshua Kolkota at
thirty three years old. He lefthis house as a lady to disguise himself.
He did not want to be caughtby the police, and he was
(00:45):
arrested for the stolen boat, thetheft of a John Deere Gator vehicle,
and he was out. He alsohad two warrants out on his name and
they're working with the Seminole police tohelp identify some of these other stolen items.
He is in the worst wig everand that dress is heinous. Let's
put that out there. That isone ugly man. Unconvincing. I don't
(01:07):
know if one can put that pictureup on the screen. Well, wan's
getting it. I mean that haircutis heavy and is in need of some
serious layering. I convinced. Andwhat is up with them icy highlights?
Like what I actually I do?I don't. I don't, man,
I don't know. That's it.If you're going to try to dress as
a woman to disguise yourself, likebe convincing, you know, like we
ain't asking for a lot. AFlorida man passed out in the turn lane
(01:29):
starts singing to the radio and he'sarrested for suspected Really you think DUI?
Also in Tampa, Florida, manwas found passed out behind the wheel of
his truck in the middle of aturn lane and Mary County Sheriff's office.
When they arrived on the scene,he broke into song David Boose. He
was unresponsive when they first got there, and then as they as they awoke
him, he began to sing alongto the radio and quote showed signs of
(01:53):
impairedness. Really, deputy's ordered himout of the truck. They asked him,
this is the best, No,it's not, It's bad. But
it's funny. They got him.They asked them to get out of the
truck and they go how much didyou have to drink that night tonight?
And he said, quote, notenough. The deputy responded, I would
disagree with that. When they askedthem to perform a field sobriety test,
(02:15):
he denied, and he refused toprovide a breath sample at the jail.
But he was clearly inebriated. Andyeah, it didn't go well for him.
We have our third hour on theway. We got culture, we
got some stuff in DC. Wegot twenty twenty four November. Stick with
(02:35):
us. People who help bring yourfree radio include the folks over at Celtech.
You guys are very familiar with theSub two K, which is their
nine milimeter carbine. It's been shippingfor a while now, and if you're
familiar with the previous iterations, theGen three has some upgrades on it.
So makes it I mean the wholething folds in half. I mean all
of them fold in half. Itmakes it easy to store deployed, its
(02:57):
accurate. You can have fun onthe range this nine milimeter carbine. No,
you don't have to detach your opticsto fold it in half. It's
just just a super easy, simplesingular twist and fold motion in either direction
to get your to fold it inhalf. You don't have to detach your
optics anymore. It just the wholething folds right and half. And it
also takes glockmags. You've got glocknineteen mags that fit flush and better,
(03:21):
improved trigger, redesigned mechanics, lighterfive pump pool that translates to improved accuracy,
upgraded action as well and makes iteasier to rack and internal buffer means
software recoil. So it's awesome.It's from Celtech, made in America,
Florida based, family owned and operated, and they make some really innovative stuff
and we need more of them.So to learn more about the sub two
Kgen three, visit Keltech weapons dotcom. It's k E l t Ec
(03:45):
Weapons dot com and tell them Danasend you. And by not taking it
on an expedited basis sort of takingit under regular order here, they've already
created a magnificant delay here that meansthat this election case, however they rule,
can't go to trial probably before thefall. And now we come through
(04:08):
exactly what they're considering here, whichis the question of whether a president has
absolute immunity. And then there's asecond quesson here, which is whether anything
that Donald Trump is accused of wouldactually constitute a president a presidential act implicated
in the immunity plas. Yeah,just making sure you're okay, do you
(04:28):
need is everything okay? We hearsomeone yet, Yeah, it's fine.
We have a heckler here. Youknow, I've got to say, they
obviously have been following the David Peckertestimony. They're yelling fake news, and
they obviously want viewers to know thatDonald Trump lied about JFK's assassination, tried
to blame blame Ted Cruz. He'syelling fake news. Also because Donald Trump
(04:51):
lied along with David Pucker. He'stogether to lie about King's dying. Because
there was a troll that literally justrolled the whole MSNBC Morning show crew,
that guy go Affect. What exactlywas he saying something? Fake news?
Yeah, fake news, you're fakenews. At first, I didn't know
(05:13):
what he was saying. When Iheard it, I'm like, what is
he saying? Yeah, you're afake news is painful to the media,
And they were just like going ontrying to act like he wasn't back there.
That guy I feel like deserves deservesa metal really, you know,
I just first off, welcome backto the program, Dana Lash with you.
We are at the top of thisthird hour, and apparently we got
(05:34):
tornadoes rolling through Texas. It's supereasy to be on air and focus when
you got all your kids out therein tornado land. Uh huh yeah.
But uh anyway, so everybody besafe out there, right, and this
I was thinking about this. Youknow, you can listen to the show
by the way coast to coast.You can stream it simulcast, which your
watch if you're watching the simulcast simulcastwith the radio show you can catch on
(05:57):
three forty seven, Direct TV Xall the other platforms. I really you
know how some people you can getstickers made up or like cards made up,
or how people put ducks on people? What is that? When people
put ducks on people's cars? Haveyou guys seen that? What is that?
It's like a thing? See ifyou know what that is? I
(06:17):
got it because it's not a jeepthing either. I don't think like apparently
okay, so well maybe it's justa jep thing. Apparently, if you
get a duck, it is ashow of respect for your car from another
jeep owner. Jeep owners have theirown world. There's like you do the
jeep wave and all this stuff.They have their own thing. And I
(06:40):
love it because I google this andsomebody goes, why do people keep putting
ducks on my car? Usually it'slike nice regrets. It is a jeep
thing. It's it's called jeep ducking. Really it is. You know what,
Kine, We got a lot ofbad things that are happening in this
world. So if somebody, ifa grown man wants to place the rubber
(07:01):
duck on another grown man's jeep,let him, Okay, let him do
an active kindness. Let the brashave their moment. Okay. Although this
sounds like a chick thing if I'mbeing real, like, I don't care
if you all guys do it.But y'all guys did not come up with
this. This is a chick thatdid this. Now is there a law
that it would violate? I don'tknow. I don't think so. Yeah,
(07:25):
apparently there are badges of pride forthe jeep folks. I used to
have a jeep. I had ajeep for a long time, and you
put them on the dash for otherpeople who drive jeeps to see. So
if you get ducked, then youput the duck on your dashboard, it's
like a yeah, it's like aI don't know, it's like one of
(07:46):
them stick that. It's like gettinga book at sticker, right, how
many books you read? How manyducks you got? Right? Something like
that. Yeah, So if someoneleaves a duck on your jeep, it's
like if it's uh, it meansyou've been ducked and somebody likes your jeep
and wanted to make you smile.Caine's favorite topic is the ducky. It's
(08:07):
called ducking jeep. Duck okay,duckting. Have we not exhausted? No,
I'm it's a new word. We'relearning it today. It's educational,
this thing ye exhausted. No,we haven't. And apparently sometimes if you
sell your jeep, the ducks gowith it. Oh really, that's a
new one. I don't know,Kelly, it adds value, I don't
(08:31):
know. But can I also saythat if you've got all the ducks up
in your dash you're I'm going toimmediately assume that you are a hoarding cat
lady with like fifty cats, andyou're a hoarder because it looks something like
hoarders would do. Have you seenthe images of it of like a million
people that have like a million ducksin there and they're they could afford to
(08:56):
give a duck or two. Itjust looks like you look like a hoarder.
I mean, a couple is okay, but you don't need it from
end to end lined up. That'sa little much, you know what I'm
saying. Yeah, that seems likethat's a lot. You can't take turns
at that point or they're falling outthe side. Yeah, but I don't
know, but yeah, if youget a little duck like that, that's
what it means. And they're actuallycalled jeep ducks. People pay to get
(09:20):
this done. Anyway. I woulddo this with like little inexpensive metals.
So if I see someone being likethe real MVP that day, I would
give them like a great job citizenmedal, you know what I'm saying.
Like that guy, I'd be like, sir, sir, can I speak
to you for a moment, andthen on my phone I would play like
some award music like Pomp and circumstanceor something like that, and as that
(09:43):
played, I would bequeath the individual. I would lay the metal around their
neck. Great job, sir,it's your citizenship metal, good citizenship,
and i'd walk away maybe Olympic styletheme as you're putting the metal right on.
Yeah yeah, yeah, like i'dhave it ready to rock on my
on my phone. I don't knowhow many metal because it's every It's not
(10:05):
often, but every now and thenI see something on where I'm like,
yeah, good job, and it'susually something like this. But yeah,
that guy out there, oh backnotes and he just he he rolled the
whole morning show there. He gotJoe Scarborough all upset, and Joe Scarborough
had like like he was talking likethat dude could hear him? What he?
(10:28):
Well? I just this, thisguy's probably upset because all told Live
that like the dude could hear him? You dude, couldn't hear him?
Come on, this is ridiculous,y'all. So it looks ridiculous. So
anyway, I'm just saying I wouldlike the you like a citizenship and you
(10:52):
know you could put him on yourrearview mirror when you get one, right
right, yeah, like and you'rewalking in the parking lot and you see
one of those metals and you canwait a second, you double take that
person performed a good deed. That'sa good citizenship medal. So I'm just
saying i'd probably do or like thatunion worker audio we played yesterday and the
guy was like, you know,what would you tell to Nobody's like,
(11:13):
yeah, I told him to.I can't even say it. Be like,
sir, and then play the music, lay the medal around us around
his head. You're a good citizen, Well done, sir. That's it,
right, A good deed deserves agood recognition. Dost thou agree?
Radio Land? Yes, I'm actuallynot even joking. I think I actually
(11:37):
want to do this. We shouldalways acknowledge good deeds. That's how we
get more good deeds. Yeah,but I'm one of the kids who has
to have a sticker in order forit to count, like I need I
need a visible measure of it,so I can not brag personally. But
it can look like it's something youknow, just you know what I mean,
Like if it's if you can seeit, I don't need to brag
(11:58):
about it. It's like all theemblems and stuff that you get with dark
Tide, Right, you get yourskull frame if you kill like however,
many hundreds of thousands of bad dudes, and I got a skull frame,
right, I don't need a bragthat I've killed a lot of stuff.
I got my skull frame. Thatdoes it for me. So see that's
what the metal does. It doesit for you. And now all of
the news you would probably miss it'stime for Dana's Quick five. So I
(12:22):
thought pandas were like funny because they'retotal funny chaos. Whenever you look on
social media, right, if yousee anything about pandas that come up,
that's usually what it is. Thisis a story out of China where apparently
pandas attacked a zookeeper in front ofscreaming onlookers. The pandas ran towards a
zookeeper, she appeared with snacks.One of them bitter ankles, knocked her
(12:43):
to the ground. Then they wereclimbing over, burying her underneath them.
They're pawing at her head. She'srolling side to side trying to get them
off, not happening, And theysay, well, these are highly unusual,
so they had to have another justa zookeeper go in and help her.
But yeah, it was it thesnacks, Like, what was it?
Because aren't they supposed to be friendly? I don't know, they're they're
(13:05):
adorable looking. Aren't they supposed tobe friendly? Yeah, they're pandas?
Yeah, but they're pandas. Though, can someone explain to me why this
happened or how Neslie destroyed two millionPerie bottles because fecal bacteria was discovered in
one of its wells. Oh there'sthey said. Literally, this article starts
(13:31):
with it's ivy. It's ivy times. If you've had a gold class of
Perier recently, not to alarm you, there's a big chance that you probably
drink some fecal bacteria. French officialsdemanded that they stop using one of their
wells in god south of France dueto contamination concerns. That's so gross again,
(13:52):
I just I'd like get ol zarkawater I like, or if I
have to Aquapana or Fiji. Ijust I didn't know if it's human or
animal? What are they talking about? Somebody? Does it matter? Because
the difference would be a human's poopingin the well. Is that what's happens
France. I wouldn't doubt it.I mean, I don't know who knows.
Scientists forge an impossible material, ametal alloy with unmatched strength and toughness
(14:16):
in all temperatures. It's actually prettycool. Uh, they said that it's
uh researchers in the US. It'ssuper strong and tough. They can retain
these properties at both extremely low andhigh temperatures, which is unusual. It's
composed of a bunch of stuff Ican't say, and also titanium, and
uh, it's great for aerospace enginesand other things that are awesome. I
(14:39):
mean, do you want me totell you what it is? Niobium tantle,
its lodom efenium. Yeah, it'sbasically that. It's it. It's
made of wolverine stuff. That's allyou guys need to know. All right.
City removes and preserves a Chicago rathole after after complaints from the neighbor.
(15:01):
It's an infamous roadent shaped sidewalk dentthat was removed and preserved this morning,
and it's called the Chicago rat hole. It's valuable to those people that
live there. They don't got alot in Chicago with all the crime and
all that stuff, So let thepeople have their damn rat hole. Okay,
let them have it. It firstwent viral in January, and they've
made a makeshift shrine because that's whatpeople do, including a frame photo of
(15:24):
it, a cardboard coffin, andcoins strown across the sidewalk. People literally
would wait in line down the blockto see it. Chicago stick with us.
Speaking of metals, I wasn't goingto go this route start wand's like,
great, what is she doing?Now? Does she give me this
element? Do I have these assets? I'm sorry, Uh, let me
pull this up. It just mademe think of it. I ended up
(15:46):
saving it because I thought maybe I'lltalk about this, Maybe I won't.
It's one of those things that Isaved. I'm like, well, if
I talk about it, it'll beon a Friday when it's a little more
cash. So that Ginger Harold fromBritain, the guy who comes over here
(16:07):
and asks like he's prints. Idon't know that you know what I'm talking
about? Winge and ging Yeah,yeah, yeah, Winge and Gin him
and his briefcase girl. Anyway,so he presented a Soldier of the Year
award to US Combat medic and hesaid, I don't understand why we're having
(16:29):
a British dude give an award toa US soldier. That was weird to
me. But then he did thiscringe video. Well, we don't need
to play it, but if WANsfreezes it, we'll show you where he
was standing. According to the DailyMail, he was standing at the back
door of his Monk Decito mansion,his olive garden. Mcmanson, Yeah,
(16:56):
and he was wearing all his littlemedals on his thing, you know,
like the North Koreans do all hislittle medals on his thing. I don't
even know what they're off for.He hit a whole line of them.
I'm like, why are you doingYou're like British, no offense. You
know, I love my British friends, but like, you're in the US
and you're giving an award to it. You're a British dude. You're giving
an award to a US soldier.And I guess it was because the person
(17:22):
who won it participated in the InvictusGames, which is something that he does.
And I don't understand these, Likeapparently his wife out there is out
there selling crappy jam. He's withall of his medals we're watching. You
guys can't see it, but we'renow you guys can't watch it. See
he's got all his medals there,he's British. That's his back porch of
(17:44):
his Montecito Outlive Goden Mansion, Unlimitedstick and he's there giving an award to
a US soldier. Is that weird? Or am I being just? Or
am I allowing my extreme dislike ofhim? It's weird color everything, And
I think it has to do withhim wanting to America affy himself. Yeah,
but he doesn't bring his brit stuffover here to do it. I
(18:06):
agree with that boy. Those metalslook impressive, though, didn't they Like
the North Koreans. Do you knowjust where they they have all their blame?
The North Koreans tweet their they treattheir metals like flair at TGI Friday
right, like how many pieces offlair do you have? Or like h
office space, right, how manypieces you have to have? Eight pieces
of flair? And his wife,who desperately wants to get into politics,
(18:33):
has been she created give me,indulge me for a moment. Indulge me.
She created this stupid company that hasa weird name. And she's selling
crappy looking jam with labels improperly attachedto it. And she's has been giving
people baskets of wilted flowers, bruisedlemons, and bad jam. And that's
(18:55):
like her thing. She doesn't evenhave any products, but she came out
with a company. I get ahunter of Biden vibes from these two,
like major hunter Biden vibes. Maybeyou know they're not total well he's he,
maybe she isn't, but he did, you know, maybe snort and
crag off a hooker's backside. Idon't know that's there's a joke in there,
but it seems this is so cringe. It's so cringe. They need
(19:17):
to stop trying so hard. Butanyway, if you guys didn't, if
you guys missed the story, theywere trying to get information about whether or
not he was even eligible to bein the United States because of his past
admitted drug use, and the administrationblocked questioning from it because he's special.
See he's special. S p Es h u A L. Spacial.
(19:37):
Thanks for tuning in to today's editionof Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If
you haven't already made sure to hitthat subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
wherever you get your podcasts,
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsoredby Keltech. It's his life mission to
make bad decisions. It's time forFlorida man. Man. This was the
worst disguise I've ever seen a Floridaman and Tampa decide to put on his
best dress to go and steal himselfa boat. On Wednesday afternoon, according
(00:23):
to the Claye's kind Of Sheriff's Office, just after three pm, deputies were
investigating a stolen boat in the OkaloosaLodge in Lakeport. They said deputies were
surveying the area cane and they spottedthe suspect, identified as Joshua Kolkota at
thirty three years old. He lefthis house as a lady to disguise himself.
He did not want to be caughtby the police, and he was
(00:45):
arrested for the stolen boat, thetheft of a John Deere Gator vehicle,
and he was out. He alsohad two warrants out on his name and
they're working with the Seminole police tohelp identify some of these other stolen items.
He is in the worst wig everand that dress is heinous. Let's
put that out there. That isone ugly man. Unconvincing. I don't
(01:07):
know if one can put that pictureup on the screen. Well, wan's
getting it. I mean that haircutis heavy and is in need of some
serious layering. I convinced. Andwhat is up with them icy highlights?
Like what I actually I do?I don't. I don't, man,
I don't know. That's it.If you're going to try to dress as
a woman to disguise yourself, likebe convincing, you know, like we
ain't asking for a lot. AFlorida man passed out in the turn lane
(01:29):
starts singing to the radio and he'sarrested for suspected Really you think DUI?
Also in Tampa, Florida, manwas found passed out behind the wheel of
his truck in the middle of aturn lane and Mary County Sheriff's office.
When they arrived on the scene,he broke into song David Boose. He
was unresponsive when they first got there, and then as they as they awoke
him, he began to sing alongto the radio and quote showed signs of
(01:53):
impairedness. Really, deputy's ordered himout of the truck. They asked him,
this is the best, No,it's not, It's bad. But
it's funny. They got him.They asked them to get out of the
truck and they go how much didyou have to drink that night tonight?
And he said, quote, notenough. The deputy responded, I would
disagree with that. When they askedthem to perform a field sobriety test,
(02:15):
he denied, and he refused toprovide a breath sample at the jail.
But he was clearly inebriated. Andyeah, it didn't go well for him.
We have our third hour on theway. We got culture, we
got some stuff in DC. Wegot twenty twenty four November. Stick with
(02:35):
us. People who help bring yourfree radio include the folks over at Celtech.
You guys are very familiar with theSub two K, which is their
nine milimeter carbine. It's been shippingfor a while now, and if you're
familiar with the previous iterations, theGen three has some upgrades on it.
So makes it I mean the wholething folds in half. I mean all
of them fold in half. Itmakes it easy to store deployed, its
(02:57):
accurate. You can have fun onthe range this nine milimeter carbine. No,
you don't have to detach your opticsto fold it in half. It's
just just a super easy, simplesingular twist and fold motion in either direction
to get your to fold it inhalf. You don't have to detach your
optics anymore. It just the wholething folds right and half. And it
also takes glockmags. You've got glocknineteen mags that fit flush and better,
(03:21):
improved trigger, redesigned mechanics, lighterfive pump pool that translates to improved accuracy,
upgraded action as well and makes iteasier to rack and internal buffer means
software recoil. So it's awesome.It's from Celtech, made in America,
Florida based, family owned and operated, and they make some really innovative stuff
and we need more of them.So to learn more about the sub two
Kgen three, visit Keltech weapons dotcom. It's k E l t Ec
(03:45):
Weapons dot com and tell them Danasend you. And by not taking it
on an expedited basis sort of takingit under regular order here, they've already
created a magnificant delay here that meansthat this election case, however they rule,
can't go to trial probably before thefall. And now we come through
(04:08):
exactly what they're considering here, whichis the question of whether a president has
absolute immunity. And then there's asecond quesson here, which is whether anything
that Donald Trump is accused of wouldactually constitute a president a presidential act implicated
in the immunity plas. Yeah,just making sure you're okay, do you
(04:28):
need is everything okay? We hearsomeone yet, Yeah, it's fine.
We have a heckler here. Youknow, I've got to say, they
obviously have been following the David Peckertestimony. They're yelling fake news, and
they obviously want viewers to know thatDonald Trump lied about JFK's assassination, tried
to blame blame Ted Cruz. He'syelling fake news. Also because Donald Trump
(04:51):
lied along with David Pucker. He'stogether to lie about King's dying. Because
there was a troll that literally justrolled the whole MSNBC Morning show crew,
that guy go Affect. What exactlywas he saying something? Fake news?
Yeah, fake news, you're fakenews. At first, I didn't know
(05:13):
what he was saying. When Iheard it, I'm like, what is
he saying? Yeah, you're afake news is painful to the media,
And they were just like going ontrying to act like he wasn't back there.
That guy I feel like deserves deservesa metal really, you know,
I just first off, welcome backto the program, Dana Lash with you.
We are at the top of thisthird hour, and apparently we got
(05:34):
tornadoes rolling through Texas. It's supereasy to be on air and focus when
you got all your kids out therein tornado land. Uh huh yeah.
But uh anyway, so everybody besafe out there, right, and this
I was thinking about this. Youknow, you can listen to the show
by the way coast to coast.You can stream it simulcast, which your
watch if you're watching the simulcast simulcastwith the radio show you can catch on
(05:57):
three forty seven, Direct TV Xall the other platforms. I really you
know how some people you can getstickers made up or like cards made up,
or how people put ducks on people? What is that? When people
put ducks on people's cars? Haveyou guys seen that? What is that?
It's like a thing? See ifyou know what that is? I
(06:17):
got it because it's not a jeepthing either. I don't think like apparently
okay, so well maybe it's justa jep thing. Apparently, if you
get a duck, it is ashow of respect for your car from another
jeep owner. Jeep owners have theirown world. There's like you do the
jeep wave and all this stuff.They have their own thing. And I
(06:40):
love it because I google this andsomebody goes, why do people keep putting
ducks on my car? Usually it'slike nice regrets. It is a jeep
thing. It's it's called jeep ducking. Really it is. You know what,
Kine, We got a lot ofbad things that are happening in this
world. So if somebody, ifa grown man wants to place the rubber
(07:01):
duck on another grown man's jeep,let him, Okay, let him do
an active kindness. Let the brashave their moment. Okay. Although this
sounds like a chick thing if I'mbeing real, like, I don't care
if you all guys do it.But y'all guys did not come up with
this. This is a chick thatdid this. Now is there a law
that it would violate? I don'tknow. I don't think so. Yeah,
(07:25):
apparently there are badges of pride forthe jeep folks. I used to
have a jeep. I had ajeep for a long time, and you
put them on the dash for otherpeople who drive jeeps to see. So
if you get ducked, then youput the duck on your dashboard, it's
like a yeah, it's like aI don't know, it's like one of
(07:46):
them stick that. It's like gettinga book at sticker, right, how
many books you read? How manyducks you got? Right? Something like
that. Yeah, So if someoneleaves a duck on your jeep, it's
like if it's uh, it meansyou've been ducked and somebody likes your jeep
and wanted to make you smile.Caine's favorite topic is the ducky. It's
(08:07):
called ducking jeep. Duck okay,duckting. Have we not exhausted? No,
I'm it's a new word. We'relearning it today. It's educational,
this thing ye exhausted. No,we haven't. And apparently sometimes if you
sell your jeep, the ducks gowith it. Oh really, that's a
new one. I don't know,Kelly, it adds value, I don't
(08:31):
know. But can I also saythat if you've got all the ducks up
in your dash you're I'm going toimmediately assume that you are a hoarding cat
lady with like fifty cats, andyou're a hoarder because it looks something like
hoarders would do. Have you seenthe images of it of like a million
people that have like a million ducksin there and they're they could afford to
(08:56):
give a duck or two. Itjust looks like you look like a hoarder.
I mean, a couple is okay, but you don't need it from
end to end lined up. That'sa little much, you know what I'm
saying. Yeah, that seems likethat's a lot. You can't take turns
at that point or they're falling outthe side. Yeah, but I don't
know, but yeah, if youget a little duck like that, that's
what it means. And they're actuallycalled jeep ducks. People pay to get
(09:20):
this done. Anyway. I woulddo this with like little inexpensive metals.
So if I see someone being likethe real MVP that day, I would
give them like a great job citizenmedal, you know what I'm saying.
Like that guy, I'd be like, sir, sir, can I speak
to you for a moment, andthen on my phone I would play like
some award music like Pomp and circumstanceor something like that, and as that
(09:43):
played, I would bequeath the individual. I would lay the metal around their
neck. Great job, sir,it's your citizenship metal, good citizenship,
and i'd walk away maybe Olympic styletheme as you're putting the metal right on.
Yeah yeah, yeah, like i'dhave it ready to rock on my
on my phone. I don't knowhow many metal because it's every It's not
(10:05):
often, but every now and thenI see something on where I'm like,
yeah, good job, and it'susually something like this. But yeah,
that guy out there, oh backnotes and he just he he rolled the
whole morning show there. He gotJoe Scarborough all upset, and Joe Scarborough
had like like he was talking likethat dude could hear him? What he?
(10:28):
Well? I just this, thisguy's probably upset because all told Live
that like the dude could hear him? You dude, couldn't hear him?
Come on, this is ridiculous,y'all. So it looks ridiculous. So
anyway, I'm just saying I wouldlike the you like a citizenship and you
(10:52):
know you could put him on yourrearview mirror when you get one, right
right, yeah, like and you'rewalking in the parking lot and you see
one of those metals and you canwait a second, you double take that
person performed a good deed. That'sa good citizenship medal. So I'm just
saying i'd probably do or like thatunion worker audio we played yesterday and the
guy was like, you know,what would you tell to Nobody's like,
(11:13):
yeah, I told him to.I can't even say it. Be like,
sir, and then play the music, lay the medal around us around
his head. You're a good citizen, Well done, sir. That's it,
right, A good deed deserves agood recognition. Dost thou agree?
Radio Land? Yes, I'm actuallynot even joking. I think I actually
(11:37):
want to do this. We shouldalways acknowledge good deeds. That's how we
get more good deeds. Yeah,but I'm one of the kids who has
to have a sticker in order forit to count, like I need I
need a visible measure of it,so I can not brag personally. But
it can look like it's something youknow, just you know what I mean,
Like if it's if you can seeit, I don't need to brag
(11:58):
about it. It's like all theemblems and stuff that you get with dark
Tide, Right, you get yourskull frame if you kill like however,
many hundreds of thousands of bad dudes, and I got a skull frame,
right, I don't need a bragthat I've killed a lot of stuff.
I got my skull frame. Thatdoes it for me. So see that's
what the metal does. It doesit for you. And now all of
the news you would probably miss it'stime for Dana's Quick five. So I
(12:22):
thought pandas were like funny because they'retotal funny chaos. Whenever you look on
social media, right, if yousee anything about pandas that come up,
that's usually what it is. Thisis a story out of China where apparently
pandas attacked a zookeeper in front ofscreaming onlookers. The pandas ran towards a
zookeeper, she appeared with snacks.One of them bitter ankles, knocked her
(12:43):
to the ground. Then they wereclimbing over, burying her underneath them.
They're pawing at her head. She'srolling side to side trying to get them
off, not happening, And theysay, well, these are highly unusual,
so they had to have another justa zookeeper go in and help her.
But yeah, it was it thesnacks, Like, what was it?
Because aren't they supposed to be friendly? I don't know, they're they're
(13:05):
adorable looking. Aren't they supposed tobe friendly? Yeah, they're pandas?
Yeah, but they're pandas. Though, can someone explain to me why this
happened or how Neslie destroyed two millionPerie bottles because fecal bacteria was discovered in
one of its wells. Oh there'sthey said. Literally, this article starts
(13:31):
with it's ivy. It's ivy times. If you've had a gold class of
Perier recently, not to alarm you, there's a big chance that you probably
drink some fecal bacteria. French officialsdemanded that they stop using one of their
wells in god south of France dueto contamination concerns. That's so gross again,
(13:52):
I just I'd like get ol zarkawater I like, or if I
have to Aquapana or Fiji. Ijust I didn't know if it's human or
animal? What are they talking about? Somebody? Does it matter? Because
the difference would be a human's poopingin the well. Is that what's happens
France. I wouldn't doubt it.I mean, I don't know who knows.
Scientists forge an impossible material, ametal alloy with unmatched strength and toughness
(14:16):
in all temperatures. It's actually prettycool. Uh, they said that it's
uh researchers in the US. It'ssuper strong and tough. They can retain
these properties at both extremely low andhigh temperatures, which is unusual. It's
composed of a bunch of stuff Ican't say, and also titanium, and
uh, it's great for aerospace enginesand other things that are awesome. I
(14:39):
mean, do you want me totell you what it is? Niobium tantle,
its lodom efenium. Yeah, it'sbasically that. It's it. It's
made of wolverine stuff. That's allyou guys need to know. All right.
City removes and preserves a Chicago rathole after after complaints from the neighbor.
(15:01):
It's an infamous roadent shaped sidewalk dentthat was removed and preserved this morning,
and it's called the Chicago rat hole. It's valuable to those people that
live there. They don't got alot in Chicago with all the crime and
all that stuff, So let thepeople have their damn rat hole. Okay,
let them have it. It firstwent viral in January, and they've
made a makeshift shrine because that's whatpeople do, including a frame photo of
(15:24):
it, a cardboard coffin, andcoins strown across the sidewalk. People literally
would wait in line down the blockto see it. Chicago stick with us.
Speaking of metals, I wasn't goingto go this route start wand's like,
great, what is she doing?Now? Does she give me this
element? Do I have these assets? I'm sorry, Uh, let me
pull this up. It just mademe think of it. I ended up
(15:46):
saving it because I thought maybe I'lltalk about this, Maybe I won't.
It's one of those things that Isaved. I'm like, well, if
I talk about it, it'll beon a Friday when it's a little more
cash. So that Ginger Harold fromBritain, the guy who comes over here
(16:07):
and asks like he's prints. Idon't know that you know what I'm talking
about? Winge and ging Yeah,yeah, yeah, Winge and Gin him
and his briefcase girl. Anyway,so he presented a Soldier of the Year
award to US Combat medic and hesaid, I don't understand why we're having
(16:29):
a British dude give an award toa US soldier. That was weird to
me. But then he did thiscringe video. Well, we don't need
to play it, but if WANsfreezes it, we'll show you where he
was standing. According to the DailyMail, he was standing at the back
door of his Monk Decito mansion,his olive garden. Mcmanson, Yeah,
(16:56):
and he was wearing all his littlemedals on his thing, you know,
like the North Koreans do all hislittle medals on his thing. I don't
even know what they're off for.He hit a whole line of them.
I'm like, why are you doingYou're like British, no offense. You
know, I love my British friends, but like, you're in the US
and you're giving an award to it. You're a British dude. You're giving
an award to a US soldier.And I guess it was because the person
(17:22):
who won it participated in the InvictusGames, which is something that he does.
And I don't understand these, Likeapparently his wife out there is out
there selling crappy jam. He's withall of his medals we're watching. You
guys can't see it, but we'renow you guys can't watch it. See
he's got all his medals there,he's British. That's his back porch of
(17:44):
his Montecito Outlive Goden Mansion, Unlimitedstick and he's there giving an award to
a US soldier. Is that weird? Or am I being just? Or
am I allowing my extreme dislike ofhim? It's weird color everything, And
I think it has to do withhim wanting to America affy himself. Yeah,
but he doesn't bring his brit stuffover here to do it. I
(18:06):
agree with that boy. Those metalslook impressive, though, didn't they Like
the North Koreans. Do you knowjust where they they have all their blame?
The North Koreans tweet their they treattheir metals like flair at TGI Friday
right, like how many pieces offlair do you have? Or like h
office space, right, how manypieces you have to have? Eight pieces
of flair? And his wife,who desperately wants to get into politics,
(18:33):
has been she created give me,indulge me for a moment. Indulge me.
She created this stupid company that hasa weird name. And she's selling
crappy looking jam with labels improperly attachedto it. And she's has been giving
people baskets of wilted flowers, bruisedlemons, and bad jam. And that's
(18:55):
like her thing. She doesn't evenhave any products, but she came out
with a company. I get ahunter of Biden vibes from these two,
like major hunter Biden vibes. Maybeyou know they're not total well he's he,
maybe she isn't, but he did, you know, maybe snort and
crag off a hooker's backside. Idon't know that's there's a joke in there,
but it seems this is so cringe. It's so cringe. They need
(19:17):
to stop trying so hard. Butanyway, if you guys didn't, if
you guys missed the story, theywere trying to get information about whether or
not he was even eligible to bein the United States because of his past
admitted drug use, and the administrationblocked questioning from it because he's special.
See he's special. S p Es h u A L. Spacial.
(19:37):
Thanks for tuning in to today's editionof Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If
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