April 18, 2025 • 23 mins
A woman goes viral for her extremely high expectations for a potential suitor. Meanwhile, the “torpedo bat” saga in Major League Baseball resulted in no improvement in batting statistics. The White House transforms the COVID.gov site into fact-checks on the lab leak theory.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsored by Keltech.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's his laugh mission to make bad decisions. It's time
for Florida Man. That's right, It's time for Florida Man.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
My name is Craig Collins, filling in on the Dana
Show d Lash Dana Lash Radio on.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
X on Twitter one.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Florida Man, a Florida keys man, is facing three felony
charges after deputies said he swung a knife at a
convenience store clerk and bystanders who confronted him about stealing
a bag of Chex Mix early Thursday morning. According to
the Monroe County Sheriff's Office, the armed robber happened. Armed robbery,
excuse me happened about two am at a Tom Thumb store.
(00:46):
The arrest report states that Jonathan Charles Sedek thirty five
I'm sure I got his last name wrong of Marathon, Florida,
went into the store, started drinking a mountain dew. I
found this so funny, bumped into and knocked over a
stand of donuts, then grabbed a bag of checks mix
and tried to walk out of the store without paying
(01:07):
for anything. A deputy set a clerk and multiple customers
tried to stop him, to which point he pulled out
and started swinging a knife around, so.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
They let him go. He allegedly accidentally cut himself during
the process. I love that too.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Of threatening other people and then leaving the establishment to
get apprehended, it is not okay to do that, So
of course there is a set of charges including armed robbery,
aggravated assault with the deadly weapon, felony, possession of a weapon, etc.
That he will be charged with. A no bond has
been listed. But I do love the fact that he
(01:41):
harmed himself. It feels like that was exactly appropriate karma
for what was going on there. Another Florida man is
accused of impersonating a deputy while trying to confront a
Walmart driver that he, for no reason at all, was
suspicious of human trafficking. So a guy walks up to
a Walmart driver in Orlando, flo tells him he's going
(02:01):
to need him to step out of his vehicle. We're
going to have to have a conversation about any of
the human trafficking he thought was going on inside the
Walmart truck that was full of Walmart products and not people.
This conversation led eventually to the person who was making
him get out of the car, claiming that he was
a police officer, a law enforcement deputy, eventually getting a
(02:23):
whole lot of trouble because that's a felony. That's a crime.
Michael Diaz is the name of the guy who was
caught doing this. He approached the vehicle, he knocked in
a window, He did all those things, as I said.
He even presented a business card that featured Florida Sheriff's
Association as a organization with a logo that apparently he
(02:43):
printed up himself. Because darne, it isn't that how all
police officers identify themselves to you? With a business card
that they printed at a local print shop. That's exactly
how they do it. Darn it, that's no way to
figure out this crime. The guy was arrested and is
going to face quite a few charges as well, because.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Again that's a felony.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
And finally, one other Florida person. This is actually a
Florida woman who decided to drug a Florida man. She
did this after a I love the way this is
described in the story nightclub encounter.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
We're not sure exactly what that means.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
At what point the two of them wound up alone
in some sort of place, but they started out at
the restaurant and nightclub at East Atlantic Avenue. The individual
that is accused of this crime is a Delray Beach
woman who drug demand and then, as I said, still
his seventeen thousand dollars rolex after they met outside at
the downtown club. According to the police report, one of
(03:38):
the women later accompanied him back to his home. Once there,
you know, other things promptly occurred that were bad, including
all the extra drugging and the sleep aids and whatnot. Wilson,
the individual who was accused of this crime, was arrested.
Twenty five year old woman. Her middle name is Sunshine.
I don't know why I found that amusing. Serena Sunshine
(04:00):
Wilson is the person who did this twenty five. She's
actually from Georgia. She was arrested and charged with a
grand theft, violation of Florida Anti Tampering Act, and other crimes.
So be careful who you're hanging out with at the
nightclub who offers to walk you to your car outside
and inevitably takes you home, as that person may be
someone that's drugging you. Even if that's a young woman,
(04:22):
a young lady. I don't know why I can't get
over this. The other thing I reacted to the story
on and there's a game that people can play called
Florida Man, where you put your month and day of
birth into your search engine of choice and then the
phrase Florida Man and you find out who your Florida
person is. You can go ahead and do it right
(04:43):
now if you're listening to the show and you want
to try it out. But the funny thing about this headline,
the Florida Man did nothing, He was drugged, stuff was
stolen from him, and yet the headline still says Florida man,
not Florida woman who committed the crime. I feel like
that's what should have led it. But I guess she's
from Georgia, so do that. So this guy gets to
be somebody's Florida Man from this past weekend. If your
(05:05):
birthday was this past weekend and you google it, you
are now just the victim of a crime, not someone
who did something crazy like wrestling alligator. By the way,
I am born on Halloween, so October thirty first, and
Florida Man goes into the old Google machine or again
whatever a search engine of choice you want, and the
first result I get is a Florida man takes epic
mugshot after driving naked and getting in a lot of
(05:29):
trouble for it, making some other terrible decisions. The mug
shot makes him look like he was definitely beat up.
Kurt Jenkins, fifty six years old and a whole lot
of trouble. That's my Florida dude, drunk guy who made
decisions he should not have made. I think he did
this in San Antonio too, by the way, So a
Florida man going rogue in Texas is apparently the first
(05:49):
result I get. If you want to tell Dana on
social media on x on a d Lash or Dana
Lash Radio who you're a Florida man or Florida woman
is based on your birth month, birthday and then that
phrase go ahead.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
She won't know why it's happening, which.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
I will immediately apologize to or four if she asked
me to, but go ahead and let her know who
you are Florida people are. So that can be maybe
research for a future Florida man segment on this very show.
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Speaker 2 (07:29):
This is the Dana Schelle. My name is Craig Collins,
filling in.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Thrilled to be with you, d Lash Dana Lash Radio
great ways to stay connected to her on x on Twitter,
a woman went viral. Actually, a dude who shared a
list from a woman went viral. That's the way I
should say it, because he saw a dating profile for
a woman that referenced her checklist. These are a checklist
of demands that absolutely have to be things that the
(07:52):
guy you know can check off for him to go
on even one date with her. She shared it with
him when he sent her a private message asking to
see the list. And I have that list in front
of me now. The number one thing in the list
doesn't seem that bad. Love me deeply, and always put
me first. Maybe put you first a little bit more
often than myself would be a little fair, but always
(08:13):
putting you first fine. Number two financially successful three hundred
thousand dollars plus salary. Anything less than you, poor jerk,
cannot date me. That's number two on the list. Be
very generous and spoil me. Not surprising. If you want
him to be very well off, you also want him
to be willing to spend a whole bunch of that.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Caseh on you.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
And again, this is just to date her, is not
if you're in a married relationship with her. Sophisticated and
enjoys luxury, emotionally intelligent and confident, chivalrous and protective, ambitious
and disciplined, family oriented, and well connected.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Which is also weird to ask for both of those.
Darn it.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
You better have a close family and you better have
a whole lot of friends, because I don't want to
have to supply you with either of those things. You
also better be fit, attractive, well groomed, take control and
make plans. His word and values support my goals and lifestyle, fun,
out going, socially respected, prefers privacy over social media validation,
(09:08):
which apparently you feel the exact opposite about, by the way,
and then finally, disciplined. In the world of well romance
is what I'll say, because it's the radio and I
don't want to be more specific than that. Oh and
one last thing needs to be needs to be get
a vosectomy excuse me, needs to be incapable of having
children handles pregnancy prevention is what it actually says, which
(09:33):
is crazy. So if you qualify for all that stuff,
and you don't mind the fact that she demanded it
up front, then you can date this lady who's somewhat
attractive and viral online more for her ridiculous demands than
anything else.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
This is amazing.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I love that that would be the early interaction between
two people online now in the world we live in,
as opposed to like something you'd figure out about someone
over the course of say several dates. Now that you
can just fire it off in a text message on
a dating app to someone you've never met before, it
makes it much easier for us.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
To know who you should and shouldn't even go on
a date with.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
She really did him a favor by showing him how
insane and crazy she was and how much of his
money she spent on her the minute they start any
sort of relationship, which seems like a really, really bad decision.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Financially. You know what, Actually, it's funny. I can't help this.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Every time I see one of these stories or talk
about one of these sort of things that goes viral
in media. I think about a Craigslist ad from years ago.
I think this went viral like in the early two thousands,
and it's just stuck in my brain ever since. The
ad was from a woman who had similar demands to
this woman now, things like you better be a millionaire,
(10:50):
you better give me a bunch of money. Anything else
is unacceptable. And I think in the Craigslist ad that
was viral years ago, the person even complained that she
couldn't find anyone that fit all of her qualifications to
date her. And she wondered why because she described herself
as incredibly attractive, And my favorite thing in why that
story is still in my brain today. A investment banker
(11:12):
responded to her ad and told her, since she's made
a business proposition, he will handle it the way he
does any other business proposal in his life and tell
her what the problem was. And this was my favorite
thing he said. He said, the things that you're selling
are not things that will retain their value over a
long term. If I was looking at them as long
(11:33):
term investments. All of the things you're promising me is
stuff that has a finite shelf life. Essentially, there's no
nicer way to say it. You won't be as hot
now or as hot years from now as you are
right now. And so if you're asking for me to
make a lifelong financial investment in you, you're simply a
bad financial investment.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Viral. People hated it, people loved it.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I thought it was kind of hilarious because at the
end of the day, when you're cutting down romance to
some sort of business transaction, you probably should expect a
business response to your business offer, But that person seemed
to not do that.
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Speaker 2 (13:10):
And now all of the news you would probably miss.
It's time for Dana's Quick five.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
All right, my favorite the first one producer Steven just
let me know about this, which is great. White House
dot gov is now pointing to the lab leak theory.
When you go to COVID dot gov, you type in
covid dot gov and it replaces it with white House
dot gov slash lab leak true Origins of COVID nineteen,
and you dive through all the different information that demonstrates
(13:38):
why President Trump and many other people believe that the
origin of COVID nineteen was the coronavirus lab in Wuhan, China,
something that even John Stewart made a joke about how
ridiculous it is that people question that that is the
likely scenario that caused COVID nineteen. This is something that
places like The Verge are saying is a conspiracy website still,
(14:00):
which is amazing how people hold on to those beliefs
and those things that I just can't accept this, It
can't possibly be true.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
How dare you?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
But the Trump administration doing an amazing job of flipping
that site. They also did a great job in social
media of correcting a New York Times headline. I might
get to that a little bit later on in the show,
but the New York Times put out a headline about
the guy who was deported to El Salvador and the
White House White House X on Twitter. I went ahead
(14:28):
and said in their post that they fixed the headline
for them by removing wrongly from the phrase about being
deported and also adding that he is never coming back.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Fairly hilarious as far as that goes.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Other things out there that I thought were interesting as
far as just quick stories go. A Michigan man was
upset that his girlfriend went on a cruise without him.
So this boyfriend decided to call in a bomb threat
on the ship. That is something that gets you in
a whole lot of legal trouble and also something that
seems to be be a good red flag and a
(15:01):
reason why you might want to break up with this dude.
But Michigan man, upset that he was left out of
a cruise, I decided to go ahead and threaten everyone
on the cruise. Also, this Sunday, of course, is Easter Sunday.
It's also four to twenty, which is a holiday that
a lot of people I guess celebrate by smoking pot.
Of course, if it's legal where you are, that's probably
(15:23):
a good thing to know or care about before you
celebrate the four to twenty version of Easter. Here's the
thing I couldn't get over. I saw a stat about
how almost sixty percent of American adults would like to
go on an Easter egg hunt, even though they're adults,
they don't care, they want to do that. And I
thought that maybe a decent percentage of the people who
said yes to that survey and would like to relive
(15:45):
their childhood might also be people who intend on celebrating
four twenty. And how ridiculous that would be if those
individuals showed up at a park after invibing in the
other stuff that they'd vibe in, and trying to find
Easter egg. Because I feel like that hunt will take
several days and we might not even find some people.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
They might never come back from that.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
But if you so want to, and I am not
encouraging you to do that at all, I am definitely
encouraging you not to do it. But Easter is also
four to twenty, which several people, at least online, are
quite amused about. One last thing that I saw is interesting.
A budget cuts are causing some people to decide to
forego a toilet in their house.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
This is a real story.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I can't imagine how many people are actually part of this. Also,
US national parks are deciding to skip creating toilet enclosures
in said parks. But some people are like, you know what,
going outside is good enough? For me, it's good enough
for people in the past who needs a toilet, so
they're going that road now. And I can't imagine that
this is a move that you yourself want to make,
or that many people are actually making. But again, a
(16:47):
story went viral from USA today talking about national parks
doing this, and people on social media claim that they
were doing it in their own homes as well. I
no ability to back that up with proof though, and
certainly a lot of assumption that some may be kidding,
but some people seem to claim this next is true.
I am familiar with the outhouse move, though by the way,
not personally, just based on you know, the legend that is,
(17:09):
and I am glad that it's not something I ever
lived with. But I'm sure if you're listening to the
show in certain parts of the country and you might
somehow still have that you think it's ridiculous that anyone
needs a toilet. I'm trying to be, you know, understanding
on all sides on this. For some reason, I don't
know why, but I love the fact that this is
a real story that's out there in the world. Finally,
when last thing, as far as quick stories go, Puerto
(17:30):
Rico went completely dark after another island wide power outage.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
This happened over the course of the last few days.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
It's got to be something when you figure out that
the power outage is hampering the entire island and not
just you and not just your block. It's not a
squirrel that just knocked down your power line. It's something
that's going on that's taking effect in the entirety of
the country. And you got to be like, all right, man,
well just wait for this to turn back on.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
It'll be fine at some point. Let's go ahead and
use the outhouse. That'll be good too.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Luckily that doesn't actually run on Electrica. All right, I'll
take a break. A lot coming up in a very
short time. Craig Collins filling in and having fun on
a holiday on the Danish show.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Actually, I love that.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I'm going to equate this to politics because I can't
help it. I am a Yankee fan and this is
a baseball thing and I can't help going here. So
anyone who follows baseball, and I promise this will lead
back into politics, might be aware of the torpedo bat situation.
Within the first week of the regular season of MLB baseball.
The New York Yankees were covered all over the place
(18:31):
for having several other players switched to something called the
torpedo bat, which supposedly moved the thick part of the
bat further down, which meant you could hit a home
run on a pitch that you usually would have popped
out if you swung at it and hit it with
the same part of the bat with a traditional bat.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
That's a lot to explain. I couldn't help it. I
did it. Anyway. Here's my favorite part of that.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Since that outcry, since that reaction to the torpedo bats
are unfair and they're ruining baseball, and people like Dave
Portnoy went out and went crazy about out how the
Yankees are basically cheating, even though nothing they did is
against the law or against the rules of MLP.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Excuse me, not the law.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Whatever they did. They also went really dry with home runs.
There aren't more home runs being hit by torpedo bat players.
In fact, several of the Yankees who use torpedo bats
have not been hitting a lot of home runs. Since
it's amazing, and so that immediate reaction of baseball is
ruined forever because of a specific change to a bat
(19:28):
is now gone, and no one is out there saying, hey,
you know what, the torpedo bats aren't having the impact
we thought they'd have. They're not ruining baseball the way
we thought they were. We're going to wait and get
more information before we have the same hot take.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
It's just silence.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
It's just over in the world of sports to have
that discussion that happens every day. In politics, that happens
all the time, specifically following around President Trump with the
immediate crazy, insane reaction and the predicting of doomsday in
the apocalypse and then the inevitable non occurrence of doom
(20:03):
doomsday in the apocalypse, and a whole bunch of people
just forgetting to give us a new update on that.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
And I guess to make.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
This full circle, I'll go back to the hilarious change
that the White House has made to COVID dot gov,
a website that when Biden was in office told you
how to get vaccines and shots and all of that
stuff and didn't do anything talking about the origins of
the COVID nineteen pandemic. And now if you go to
that same website, the Trump administration has given you a
(20:30):
thorough debriefing on the lab leak.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Proof or assumption.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I don't even want to just call it a theory
as to how this China has refused to actually let
us fully prove this.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
How this is the way that COVID started. And I
just love that.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I love this version of we're going to revisit that
part of history that no one else has really deemed
worthy of talking about because the reaction period is over.
So that might have been another long walk I couldn't
help take on a holiday show about something that I
care about that's not politics at all. But the torpedo
bat is not ruining baseball, even though people said it
(21:06):
would and players who aren't good would, so all of
a sudden act like you know, players on steroids, that
is not actually happening. And so maybe, just maybe the
lesson we can learn from my favorite sport, America's favorite pastime,
at least at one point it was, of baseball, is
to wait to not have the immediate reaction that fits
(21:26):
your narrative, but actually wait for all the information to
come across the old desk to decide whether or not
the thing you're saying is true or false. And the
same is probably even true about the current discussion about
the person deported to El Salvador, who when that story
first broke, a lot of people were saying was obviously
a mistake and a separation of a person from his
(21:48):
family that never should have been removed from the country.
And now we're talking about how that person had multiple
judges to find them as a member of MS thirteen,
a gang that is now seen as a terrorist group,
and that terrorist group and his involvement with it would
make him incapable of someone who's allowed to stay in
this country, even if he had a protection order in
twenty nineteen saying we can't send him back to Hel Salvador.
(22:11):
It's interesting. Has more time and information allows you to
have a more nuanced opinion about a discussion about a topic.
But darn it, how many people want that versut the
instant reaction. I'm thrilled that I just brought torpedo bats
up in a political discussion, and I'm not going to
get over that for a while. You probably don't care
a listener out there, but I'm very happy about it.
And on that note, I'll take a break and we'll
(22:32):
come back and do something probably just as silly or
just as I don't know if I want to say
stupid as torpedo bats and politics, but darn it, that's
the kind of show I'm bringing you today.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Craig Collins filling in on The Dana Show.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's
Absurdhooth podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
If you haven't already, made sure to hit that subscribe
button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsored by Keltech.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's his laugh mission to make bad decisions. It's time
for Florida Man. That's right, It's time for Florida Man.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
My name is Craig Collins, filling in on the Dana
Show d Lash Dana Lash Radio on.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
X on Twitter one.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Florida Man, a Florida keys man, is facing three felony
charges after deputies said he swung a knife at a
convenience store clerk and bystanders who confronted him about stealing
a bag of Chex Mix early Thursday morning. According to
the Monroe County Sheriff's Office, the armed robber happened. Armed robbery,
excuse me happened about two am at a Tom Thumb store.
(00:46):
The arrest report states that Jonathan Charles Sedek thirty five
I'm sure I got his last name wrong of Marathon, Florida,
went into the store, started drinking a mountain dew. I
found this so funny, bumped into and knocked over a
stand of donuts, then grabbed a bag of checks mix
and tried to walk out of the store without paying
(01:07):
for anything. A deputy set a clerk and multiple customers
tried to stop him, to which point he pulled out
and started swinging a knife around, so.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
They let him go. He allegedly accidentally cut himself during
the process. I love that too.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Of threatening other people and then leaving the establishment to
get apprehended, it is not okay to do that, So
of course there is a set of charges including armed robbery,
aggravated assault with the deadly weapon, felony, possession of a weapon, etc.
That he will be charged with. A no bond has
been listed. But I do love the fact that he
(01:41):
harmed himself. It feels like that was exactly appropriate karma
for what was going on there. Another Florida man is
accused of impersonating a deputy while trying to confront a
Walmart driver that he, for no reason at all, was
suspicious of human trafficking. So a guy walks up to
a Walmart driver in Orlando, flo tells him he's going
(02:01):
to need him to step out of his vehicle. We're
going to have to have a conversation about any of
the human trafficking he thought was going on inside the
Walmart truck that was full of Walmart products and not people.
This conversation led eventually to the person who was making
him get out of the car, claiming that he was
a police officer, a law enforcement deputy, eventually getting a
(02:23):
whole lot of trouble because that's a felony. That's a crime.
Michael Diaz is the name of the guy who was
caught doing this. He approached the vehicle, he knocked in
a window, He did all those things, as I said.
He even presented a business card that featured Florida Sheriff's
Association as a organization with a logo that apparently he
(02:43):
printed up himself. Because darne, it isn't that how all
police officers identify themselves to you? With a business card
that they printed at a local print shop. That's exactly
how they do it. Darn it, that's no way to
figure out this crime. The guy was arrested and is
going to face quite a few charges as well, because.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Again that's a felony.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
And finally, one other Florida person. This is actually a
Florida woman who decided to drug a Florida man. She
did this after a I love the way this is
described in the story nightclub encounter.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
We're not sure exactly what that means.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
At what point the two of them wound up alone
in some sort of place, but they started out at
the restaurant and nightclub at East Atlantic Avenue. The individual
that is accused of this crime is a Delray Beach
woman who drug demand and then, as I said, still
his seventeen thousand dollars rolex after they met outside at
the downtown club. According to the police report, one of
(03:38):
the women later accompanied him back to his home. Once there,
you know, other things promptly occurred that were bad, including
all the extra drugging and the sleep aids and whatnot. Wilson,
the individual who was accused of this crime, was arrested.
Twenty five year old woman. Her middle name is Sunshine.
I don't know why I found that amusing. Serena Sunshine
(04:00):
Wilson is the person who did this twenty five. She's
actually from Georgia. She was arrested and charged with a
grand theft, violation of Florida Anti Tampering Act, and other crimes.
So be careful who you're hanging out with at the
nightclub who offers to walk you to your car outside
and inevitably takes you home, as that person may be
someone that's drugging you. Even if that's a young woman,
(04:22):
a young lady. I don't know why I can't get
over this. The other thing I reacted to the story
on and there's a game that people can play called
Florida Man, where you put your month and day of
birth into your search engine of choice and then the
phrase Florida Man and you find out who your Florida
person is. You can go ahead and do it right
(04:43):
now if you're listening to the show and you want
to try it out. But the funny thing about this headline,
the Florida Man did nothing, He was drugged, stuff was
stolen from him, and yet the headline still says Florida man,
not Florida woman who committed the crime. I feel like
that's what should have led it. But I guess she's
from Georgia, so do that. So this guy gets to
be somebody's Florida Man from this past weekend. If your
(05:05):
birthday was this past weekend and you google it, you
are now just the victim of a crime, not someone
who did something crazy like wrestling alligator. By the way,
I am born on Halloween, so October thirty first, and
Florida Man goes into the old Google machine or again
whatever a search engine of choice you want, and the
first result I get is a Florida man takes epic
mugshot after driving naked and getting in a lot of
(05:29):
trouble for it, making some other terrible decisions. The mug
shot makes him look like he was definitely beat up.
Kurt Jenkins, fifty six years old and a whole lot
of trouble. That's my Florida dude, drunk guy who made
decisions he should not have made. I think he did
this in San Antonio too, by the way, So a
Florida man going rogue in Texas is apparently the first
(05:49):
result I get. If you want to tell Dana on
social media on x on a d Lash or Dana
Lash Radio who you're a Florida man or Florida woman
is based on your birth month, birthday and then that
phrase go ahead.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
She won't know why it's happening, which.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
I will immediately apologize to or four if she asked
me to, but go ahead and let her know who
you are Florida people are. So that can be maybe
research for a future Florida man segment on this very show.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
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Speaker 2 (07:29):
This is the Dana Schelle. My name is Craig Collins,
filling in.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Thrilled to be with you, d Lash Dana Lash Radio
great ways to stay connected to her on x on Twitter,
a woman went viral. Actually, a dude who shared a
list from a woman went viral. That's the way I
should say it, because he saw a dating profile for
a woman that referenced her checklist. These are a checklist
of demands that absolutely have to be things that the
(07:52):
guy you know can check off for him to go
on even one date with her. She shared it with
him when he sent her a private message asking to
see the list. And I have that list in front
of me now. The number one thing in the list
doesn't seem that bad. Love me deeply, and always put
me first. Maybe put you first a little bit more
often than myself would be a little fair, but always
(08:13):
putting you first fine. Number two financially successful three hundred
thousand dollars plus salary. Anything less than you, poor jerk,
cannot date me. That's number two on the list. Be
very generous and spoil me. Not surprising. If you want
him to be very well off, you also want him
to be willing to spend a whole bunch of that.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Caseh on you.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
And again, this is just to date her, is not
if you're in a married relationship with her. Sophisticated and
enjoys luxury, emotionally intelligent and confident, chivalrous and protective, ambitious
and disciplined, family oriented, and well connected.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Which is also weird to ask for both of those.
Darn it.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
You better have a close family and you better have
a whole lot of friends, because I don't want to
have to supply you with either of those things. You
also better be fit, attractive, well groomed, take control and
make plans. His word and values support my goals and lifestyle, fun,
out going, socially respected, prefers privacy over social media validation,
(09:08):
which apparently you feel the exact opposite about, by the way,
and then finally, disciplined. In the world of well romance
is what I'll say, because it's the radio and I
don't want to be more specific than that. Oh and
one last thing needs to be needs to be get
a vosectomy excuse me, needs to be incapable of having
children handles pregnancy prevention is what it actually says, which
(09:33):
is crazy. So if you qualify for all that stuff,
and you don't mind the fact that she demanded it
up front, then you can date this lady who's somewhat
attractive and viral online more for her ridiculous demands than
anything else.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
This is amazing.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I love that that would be the early interaction between
two people online now in the world we live in,
as opposed to like something you'd figure out about someone
over the course of say several dates. Now that you
can just fire it off in a text message on
a dating app to someone you've never met before, it
makes it much easier for us.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
To know who you should and shouldn't even go on
a date with.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
She really did him a favor by showing him how
insane and crazy she was and how much of his
money she spent on her the minute they start any
sort of relationship, which seems like a really, really bad decision.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Financially. You know what, Actually, it's funny. I can't help this.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Every time I see one of these stories or talk
about one of these sort of things that goes viral
in media. I think about a Craigslist ad from years ago.
I think this went viral like in the early two thousands,
and it's just stuck in my brain ever since. The
ad was from a woman who had similar demands to
this woman now, things like you better be a millionaire,
(10:50):
you better give me a bunch of money. Anything else
is unacceptable. And I think in the Craigslist ad that
was viral years ago, the person even complained that she
couldn't find anyone that fit all of her qualifications to
date her. And she wondered why because she described herself
as incredibly attractive, And my favorite thing in why that
story is still in my brain today. A investment banker
(11:12):
responded to her ad and told her, since she's made
a business proposition, he will handle it the way he
does any other business proposal in his life and tell
her what the problem was. And this was my favorite
thing he said. He said, the things that you're selling
are not things that will retain their value over a
long term. If I was looking at them as long
(11:33):
term investments. All of the things you're promising me is
stuff that has a finite shelf life. Essentially, there's no
nicer way to say it. You won't be as hot
now or as hot years from now as you are
right now. And so if you're asking for me to
make a lifelong financial investment in you, you're simply a
bad financial investment.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Viral. People hated it, people loved it.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I thought it was kind of hilarious because at the
end of the day, when you're cutting down romance to
some sort of business transaction, you probably should expect a
business response to your business offer, But that person seemed
to not do that.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
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Speaker 2 (13:10):
And now all of the news you would probably miss.
It's time for Dana's Quick five.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
All right, my favorite the first one producer Steven just
let me know about this, which is great. White House
dot gov is now pointing to the lab leak theory.
When you go to COVID dot gov, you type in
covid dot gov and it replaces it with white House
dot gov slash lab leak true Origins of COVID nineteen,
and you dive through all the different information that demonstrates
(13:38):
why President Trump and many other people believe that the
origin of COVID nineteen was the coronavirus lab in Wuhan, China,
something that even John Stewart made a joke about how
ridiculous it is that people question that that is the
likely scenario that caused COVID nineteen. This is something that
places like The Verge are saying is a conspiracy website still,
(14:00):
which is amazing how people hold on to those beliefs
and those things that I just can't accept this, It
can't possibly be true.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
How dare you?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
But the Trump administration doing an amazing job of flipping
that site. They also did a great job in social
media of correcting a New York Times headline. I might
get to that a little bit later on in the show,
but the New York Times put out a headline about
the guy who was deported to El Salvador and the
White House White House X on Twitter. I went ahead
(14:28):
and said in their post that they fixed the headline
for them by removing wrongly from the phrase about being
deported and also adding that he is never coming back.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Fairly hilarious as far as that goes.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Other things out there that I thought were interesting as
far as just quick stories go. A Michigan man was
upset that his girlfriend went on a cruise without him.
So this boyfriend decided to call in a bomb threat
on the ship. That is something that gets you in
a whole lot of legal trouble and also something that
seems to be be a good red flag and a
(15:01):
reason why you might want to break up with this dude.
But Michigan man, upset that he was left out of
a cruise, I decided to go ahead and threaten everyone
on the cruise. Also, this Sunday, of course, is Easter Sunday.
It's also four to twenty, which is a holiday that
a lot of people I guess celebrate by smoking pot.
Of course, if it's legal where you are, that's probably
(15:23):
a good thing to know or care about before you
celebrate the four to twenty version of Easter. Here's the
thing I couldn't get over. I saw a stat about
how almost sixty percent of American adults would like to
go on an Easter egg hunt, even though they're adults,
they don't care, they want to do that. And I
thought that maybe a decent percentage of the people who
said yes to that survey and would like to relive
(15:45):
their childhood might also be people who intend on celebrating
four twenty. And how ridiculous that would be if those
individuals showed up at a park after invibing in the
other stuff that they'd vibe in, and trying to find
Easter egg. Because I feel like that hunt will take
several days and we might not even find some people.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
They might never come back from that.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
But if you so want to, and I am not
encouraging you to do that at all, I am definitely
encouraging you not to do it. But Easter is also
four to twenty, which several people, at least online, are
quite amused about. One last thing that I saw is interesting.
A budget cuts are causing some people to decide to
forego a toilet in their house.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
This is a real story.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I can't imagine how many people are actually part of this. Also,
US national parks are deciding to skip creating toilet enclosures
in said parks. But some people are like, you know what,
going outside is good enough? For me, it's good enough
for people in the past who needs a toilet, so
they're going that road now. And I can't imagine that
this is a move that you yourself want to make,
or that many people are actually making. But again, a
(16:47):
story went viral from USA today talking about national parks
doing this, and people on social media claim that they
were doing it in their own homes as well. I
no ability to back that up with proof though, and
certainly a lot of assumption that some may be kidding,
but some people seem to claim this next is true.
I am familiar with the outhouse move, though by the way,
not personally, just based on you know, the legend that is,
(17:09):
and I am glad that it's not something I ever
lived with. But I'm sure if you're listening to the
show in certain parts of the country and you might
somehow still have that you think it's ridiculous that anyone
needs a toilet. I'm trying to be, you know, understanding
on all sides on this. For some reason, I don't
know why, but I love the fact that this is
a real story that's out there in the world. Finally,
when last thing, as far as quick stories go, Puerto
(17:30):
Rico went completely dark after another island wide power outage.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
This happened over the course of the last few days.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
It's got to be something when you figure out that
the power outage is hampering the entire island and not
just you and not just your block. It's not a
squirrel that just knocked down your power line. It's something
that's going on that's taking effect in the entirety of
the country. And you got to be like, all right, man,
well just wait for this to turn back on.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
It'll be fine at some point. Let's go ahead and
use the outhouse. That'll be good too.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Luckily that doesn't actually run on Electrica. All right, I'll
take a break. A lot coming up in a very
short time. Craig Collins filling in and having fun on
a holiday on the Danish show.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Actually, I love that.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I'm going to equate this to politics because I can't
help it. I am a Yankee fan and this is
a baseball thing and I can't help going here. So
anyone who follows baseball, and I promise this will lead
back into politics, might be aware of the torpedo bat situation.
Within the first week of the regular season of MLB baseball.
The New York Yankees were covered all over the place
(18:31):
for having several other players switched to something called the
torpedo bat, which supposedly moved the thick part of the
bat further down, which meant you could hit a home
run on a pitch that you usually would have popped
out if you swung at it and hit it with
the same part of the bat with a traditional bat.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
That's a lot to explain. I couldn't help it. I
did it. Anyway. Here's my favorite part of that.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Since that outcry, since that reaction to the torpedo bats
are unfair and they're ruining baseball, and people like Dave
Portnoy went out and went crazy about out how the
Yankees are basically cheating, even though nothing they did is
against the law or against the rules of MLP.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Excuse me, not the law.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Whatever they did. They also went really dry with home runs.
There aren't more home runs being hit by torpedo bat players.
In fact, several of the Yankees who use torpedo bats
have not been hitting a lot of home runs. Since
it's amazing, and so that immediate reaction of baseball is
ruined forever because of a specific change to a bat
(19:28):
is now gone, and no one is out there saying, hey,
you know what, the torpedo bats aren't having the impact
we thought they'd have. They're not ruining baseball the way
we thought they were. We're going to wait and get
more information before we have the same hot take.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
It's just silence.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
It's just over in the world of sports to have
that discussion that happens every day. In politics, that happens
all the time, specifically following around President Trump with the
immediate crazy, insane reaction and the predicting of doomsday in
the apocalypse and then the inevitable non occurrence of doom
(20:03):
doomsday in the apocalypse, and a whole bunch of people
just forgetting to give us a new update on that.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
And I guess to make.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
This full circle, I'll go back to the hilarious change
that the White House has made to COVID dot gov,
a website that when Biden was in office told you
how to get vaccines and shots and all of that
stuff and didn't do anything talking about the origins of
the COVID nineteen pandemic. And now if you go to
that same website, the Trump administration has given you a
(20:30):
thorough debriefing on the lab leak.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Proof or assumption.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I don't even want to just call it a theory
as to how this China has refused to actually let
us fully prove this.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
How this is the way that COVID started. And I
just love that.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I love this version of we're going to revisit that
part of history that no one else has really deemed
worthy of talking about because the reaction period is over.
So that might have been another long walk I couldn't
help take on a holiday show about something that I
care about that's not politics at all. But the torpedo
bat is not ruining baseball, even though people said it
(21:06):
would and players who aren't good would, so all of
a sudden act like you know, players on steroids, that
is not actually happening. And so maybe, just maybe the
lesson we can learn from my favorite sport, America's favorite pastime,
at least at one point it was, of baseball, is
to wait to not have the immediate reaction that fits
(21:26):
your narrative, but actually wait for all the information to
come across the old desk to decide whether or not
the thing you're saying is true or false. And the
same is probably even true about the current discussion about
the person deported to El Salvador, who when that story
first broke, a lot of people were saying was obviously
a mistake and a separation of a person from his
(21:48):
family that never should have been removed from the country.
And now we're talking about how that person had multiple
judges to find them as a member of MS thirteen,
a gang that is now seen as a terrorist group,
and that terrorist group and his involvement with it would
make him incapable of someone who's allowed to stay in
this country, even if he had a protection order in
twenty nineteen saying we can't send him back to Hel Salvador.
(22:11):
It's interesting. Has more time and information allows you to
have a more nuanced opinion about a discussion about a topic.
But darn it, how many people want that versut the
instant reaction. I'm thrilled that I just brought torpedo bats
up in a political discussion, and I'm not going to
get over that for a while. You probably don't care
a listener out there, but I'm very happy about it.
And on that note, I'll take a break and we'll
(22:32):
come back and do something probably just as silly or
just as I don't know if I want to say
stupid as torpedo bats and politics, but darn it, that's
the kind of show I'm bringing you today.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Craig Collins filling in on The Dana Show.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's
Absurdhooth podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
If you haven't already, made sure to hit that subscribe
button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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