Absurd Truth: Gavin Newsom's Press Office

Gavin Newsom’s press office has been embarrassingly tweeting ridiculous things to try and troll Trump and his Truth Social. Meanwhile, Dana is having a difficult time getting her son to properly pack for another year of college.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsored by Keltech.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's his laugh mission to make bad decisions. It's time
for Florida man.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
This is so bad.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
A Florida man was arrested after using sprinklers to spray
disabled children. True story. Antonio Roman, sixty one. Can I
just say, I've never seen a much shot that says
DGAF more than this guy. Is he smirking? He's smirking?
Sixty one years old. I get what Caine says about

(00:37):
hating old people. I mean, I don't get it. It's
still mean, you know, not all of them are like that.
He used a surveillance system to activate his sprinkler system
to spray his the disabled children next door because he
was mad about their bus stop location.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
He did look at his little man.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
For those watching the simulcast I swear to he's smirking.
This is so ignorant. What a mean person. He consistently
activated his sprinklers twice a day when the victims they
were they have to be literally loaded and unloaded from
the school bus that they can't go to like a
bus stop blocks away. They have to have help to

(01:18):
get on the bus, and so investigators actually surveiled his
home and they confirmed that it was directly aimed at
the school bus stop, so it was activated. Now can
you imagine getting, you know, sprayed, and you're soaking wet
when you're getting on the bus going to school and
the dad had to start wearing swimming attire to shield

(01:38):
his children from the sprinklers. And when deputies made contact
with this guy where the phony said he was upset
about the location of the bus stop and he did
not like that it utilized part of his driveway for
the wheelchair ramp of one of the victims needed. Oh
my gosh, can I just have sixty seconds in the
locker room with this guy? It's all I need, all
I need. I don't even need that sixty Give me

(01:59):
thirty second, thirty seconds.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
I'll just take thirty. That's it.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
He faces charges of a stocking battery on disabled persons,
in battery or yeah, battery on a disabled person and
just regular battery.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Wow, what a jerk?

Speaker 1 (02:14):
Can you imagine? Like, I what a horrible person. Now,
if he felt that somebody was trespassing, why didn't he
talk to his neighbor about it? Why did he? I
don't know, And I bet he thinks he's in the
right this whole time too.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
That's just horrible.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
See, these are the kind of stories that made me
so incredibly mad. Oh let's see here. Oh boy, oh boy.
So two guys got into a fight, and one of
over Trump and bankruptcy, and then one of them got stabbed.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Okay, because one of them stabbed the other.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
A Florida man fatally stabbed his friend during a heated
political argument about Donald Trump's business ventures, and now he
faces the possibility of dying behind bars because a jury
convicted him of murder. Okay, I have a real problem
with his middle name, Donald James Brown Henry. It's one word,

(03:09):
the James. I'm not making this up. That James Brown
is one word, Donald James Brown Henry.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
It's like Mark Wayne.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
So you have three.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
First names in one last one and the last one's
the middle name. That's too many names for you. At
some point you have enough. Thirty eight years old. Thirty
eight years old, he was found guilty of second degree
murder for killing Sean pop I swear these names are
made up and what authorities describe as a shocking example
of how political divisions can turn deadly. So he's gonna

(03:37):
have minimum seventeen, no parole. And apparently they were arguing
and they were doing they were smoking pot. But I
thought that, like, totally, doesn't that space you out? Or
wait does aren't they all? Or is it tweakers? The
people who are always suspicious are paranoid? Okay, well maybe

(03:59):
it was the pair marijuana. I don't know, are sure
there's different kinds. I guess that make you more paranoid.
So he said that they were both arguing over Trump
going bankrupt.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
That's the statement.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
And then apparently that enraged the mister James Brown Henry
Donald James Brown Henry, and then the.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Henry Henry.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
He became the antagonist, became aggravated, and he was convinced
that Pop was talking to him like he was stupid.
He was sharpening apparently a kitchen knife while all this
was happening. So let's just hold up for a second.
They're smoking pot, he's sharpening a kitchen knife, and they're
arguing over Trump's business. And so he took the knife
and plunged it right into the Pop's chest. The victim

(04:43):
walked outside and then collapsed. So he's absolutely he's totally
charged with murder. Because he did it, so seventeen.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Years minimum, no parole. It's wild, wild, wild wild. Let's see.
Oh we got a well, I'll.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Have to tell you about the just sure who is
actually arrested for felony assault tomorrow. Kel Tech at Florida
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(05:20):
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(05:41):
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I wanted to talk about I had a great song
line up. I wanted to talk about the whole uh
Gavin news because what is Gavin Newsom doing? Like he

(06:03):
keeps picking fights with Texas over this stuff he's been
He's picking fights with everybody.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Understand what the what he thinks the serves, what purpose
he thinks the serves.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
And not?

Speaker 1 (06:21):
I I don't get it. He apparently has like a
whole social media team that runs it's the governor Governor
Newsom Press office, so it's verified.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
You know what he said?

Speaker 1 (06:34):
He told one person who criticized him, quote, your husband
keeps poop and porn in his pockets?

Speaker 3 (06:44):
What that is his official account? That?

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yes, not even making this up, that is his actual
official governor knew some verified No, yes, I mean you
pulled up I am that's his actual If you don't
believe me, hold up here it is.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
I'm giving it to you right now.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Leaning all the way in I'm trolling is basically what
you're saying.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
That's not even like funny or clever. It's just like cringe, like,
what what are you doing?

Speaker 3 (07:15):
What do you think this is?

Speaker 1 (07:17):
He has three people that run his comms team. I
had this where's the story at gosh, I hate these
gestures on this. I'm gonna take this whole new computer. Iowa,
I'm gonna just shoot it. The Mosburg uh he had
there was this article that was quoting his uh oh
here it is.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
This is so funny.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
So his social media person is some I don't know,
some chick and they said, oh, she's part of a
team of three. This is Camille Zapeida. She's the genius
behind a social media post. She's a part she's a
part of a team at three. Well, she can't wear
clothing that fits her. She's wearing like this slouchy stuff
in her little photo.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
I don't know. He has three people that run this account.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
Three people came, three whole people, and then you have
Izzy Garden. Oh, for the love, seriously, that sounds like
a bad HGTV show. I don't know what the genius
is doing a lot of heavy lifting here with us.
I mean not kidding. This is actually some of the

(08:25):
I can't even Some of them are so cringe. I
don't want to read them on the show because it's
just it. You just get secondhand cringe and it doesn't
help anybody. But they have this great comms team.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
Guys.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
They're really they've had they've been calling people Voldemort. Hang on,
I'm just looking at all of these different tweets of
his that he has. Our WiFi is we're having technical
issues here, so bear with us. So we've got the
him making So they're making fun of I mean, everybody.

(08:58):
They went after, no different conservative accounts. They went after
Casey DeSantis. They cussed out Stephen Miller, they called someone
Voldemort stupid. I mean, it's bad, it's I I don't
even understand what this is. Just so it's pointless. It's embarrassing.

(09:21):
It's absolutely embarrassing.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
It really is.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
And I just no, I don't see any sign of
it ever ending. This is their this is their comms team.
And there this account was the one that did the
caps lock like version of the stuff Trump does, of
Trump's style of posting. So they were talking about Texas

(09:44):
and jerrymandering, and they said, oh gosh, I don't want
to read this. It's so oh gosh, it's killing me.
I'm doing it for you, guys. They went after who
are they going after? They were they were saying that
final warning Donald Trump, maybe the most important warning in
history stop cheating, or California will redraw their maps. This
is all caps lock and all of it. And guess

(10:07):
who will announce it this Weekkevin Newsom, many say, the
most loved and handsome governor and a very powerful team.
Don't make us do it. Many exclamation points, thank you
for your attention to this matter. See only he can
do this. You guys just look stupid doing it. It
just looks thirsty. And then you have these leftists who
are like, we think it's so great. They're like they're
falling all over themselves to praise it. Three people, three people,

(10:35):
and they were talking about their comms team. They said,
this is the one check that I mentioned. She leads
a team of three. They troll forty seven by mimicking
his words in poor grammar.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
They don't back down.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
Imagine going to college and this is what that's your job.
I troll for covenuwsom. I don't even have my own byline.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
I just troll for his press office as all I do.
It's embarrassed.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
What did they I mean? You could have AI do
this better. Probably you know that cane. You don't even
need these three people. You could just eliminate their jobs,
and I think.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
These three people may be AI created.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
They've gone after they've tried to give the people nicknames.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
They've I.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
And it doesn't even honestly doesn't even sound like the
stuff that Trump would say. It doesn't even sound like
the stuff he would say. This is what gets me.
The Free Press, David Mammont, who we're gonna have back
on the show. I can't say what the headline of
this was, but I was reading these tweets from Newsom's
press office and then I saw this piece over at
the Free Press from David Mammont. The subhead is brilliant.

(11:42):
Profanity was once a useful weapon, and now it's a
dull blade. Now I'm gonna tell you guys, I don't
have I don't have any vices. Really, I'm not. I've
never done I don't do drugs. I've never done drugs.
I you know, every now and then I'll socially drink
a driving dinner.

Speaker 3 (11:59):
I don't smoke. I don't, but I you.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
Know, when you come from a family of sailors, yeah,
you get creative with your language.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
And so that's my only vice. I should say.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
But now because I hear it so often on the left.
I'm like, oh, no, I don't want to do that anymore.
I catch myself like, no, that's a no, no Democrat word. M.
I think what he says here is brilliant, and he
basically talks about how the left is. They're they're ruining
profanity like everything else. They're ruining profanity like they're ruining

(12:35):
everything else. And I think that that's I mean, I
think it's smart. That's it's absolutely true. And he said,
profanity of the streets was you know, in those days,
it was way, it was so much more aggressive, and uh,

(12:57):
it meant something basically what you're saying. Now, they're throwing
it out out as a veneer. They're costplaying tough, and
they think that hijacking profanity is the way to convey
that toughness without actually having anything else that defines toughness,

(13:18):
if that makes sense. They're ruining it like they're making
it cringe. They're ruining everything they try. They ruin comedy,
they've ruined everything. They've ruined music, they've ruined arts and entertainment,
they've ruined government.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
What have they not ruined?

Speaker 1 (13:32):
They are a plague upon the earth, this ideology, And
he's right I mean it was a useful weapon. It
was a sign that you.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
Went too far.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Oh wow, wait that was a line. Oh there's a
boundary I crossed. Oh that person's upset or joyfully just
out of their mind with exuberance.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
Whatever. Now it's I mean you have Beta or Rourke waving.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
Around his noodle arms. I mean, if you he's like
the same proportion in size as his wife. I just
I don't know. It ruins it. It makes it cringe.
And Kane, have you noticed have you have you sort
of now you kind of recoil and horror cringe whenever

(14:23):
you hear a salty word. Now, just because the Left
is ruined it so much.

Speaker 4 (14:27):
Yeah, yeah it is. We always say that it's a
spice cursing.

Speaker 3 (14:33):
That's a good way to put out.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
You overdo it. It's no good.

Speaker 3 (14:36):
It's the spice minage. You overdo it. And it's exactly.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
I completely agree it's but now it's just and this is,
this is what Newsom and his social media counter doing.
They're trying to act like they're so tough. They're trying
to act like they're so tough. Look, we're cursing at
you know, Dana Perino or we're cursing at you know, somebody,
good heavens, it's just it's so oh my gosh, it's
just it's just cringe.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
It's cringe.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
So, I don't know, I don't think that this is
going to serve the purpose that he thinks it does.
I don't think that Newsome doing this is going to
attract any like independence or leftist or progressives that are
going to see him or hear him talk like this
or see the stuff that he's tweeting and go, oh,
that's so edgy, because it just seems so contrived and forced.
And that's the other thing that Mammont you know, gets to.

(15:25):
He's like, you know it it was it was a
spontaneous thing. It wasn't something that was focus grouped and
planned out and released at a certain time as like
some sort of toughness buff It's that's not what it's like.

Speaker 3 (15:40):
That's not what it's for. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
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Speaker 4 (16:51):
Exclusions apply, and now all of the news you would
probably miss it's time for Dana's quickfive.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
Okay, So this study says that apparently one out of
what three people are considered highly sensitive, meaning they feel
things more deeply than others.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
I have a different word for it.

Speaker 1 (17:15):
A review of thirty three studies thirteen thousand people found
that higher sensitivity is linked to more symptoms of anxiety
and depression. They say, it's not a disorder, but it
does shape how people experience mental health. I think there's
something too that. I think there's some people that are
way more empathic, empathetic, but empathic than others. Yeah, so

(17:36):
I think that, you know, they may take it personally,
or they may feel slighted because they observe something that
other people didn't.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
But stop being pantings.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
For real, to stop, like you know, it's not stop
taking everything that everybody does seriously because it's not worth it.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
It just not worth it. Just to shrug it off.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
And let them, you know, let's just got to go
through life. I know that's very bob new heart of
me a but okay.

Speaker 3 (17:58):
Let's see.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
OH law to help sex abuse victims is creating an
insurance crisis for public schools and local agencies. Well, rather,
people are creating these problems, not the victims.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
H A new California law open gates for victims of
childhood sexual assault that consue public entities that said fail
that fail to keep them safe. And now apparently there's yeah,
well that's what happens right at AFO. You don't do
your job, you don't protect your students, and guess what,
this sort of stuff happens without penalties, it will continue
to happen. Sadly, you can't appeal to someone's morality to

(18:30):
do their job and make sure that people are protected,
but you can if there is a financial penalty. How
sad is that MSNBC is changing its name because they
were going to joke about this letter, because they think
that you're not gonna know, PMSNBC. It's going to be
called ms now miss now that's what I.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
Say, Are you gonna know? I'm not gonna loadge it.
I don't care. It just sounds goofy.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
But they're they're trying, they're they're separating, and I don't know,
I just don't think that's going to assist them, because
I think that the reason that they even lasted this
long is because they had that veneer of respectability with
the NBC on it, not that NBC is you know
what I mean. Gave them a little bit of a legacy.
A forty year old man got stuck in a slide

(19:16):
at a school playground in Vernon, Illinois.

Speaker 3 (19:20):
That's what you get.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
He got stuck in the slide Northeast Elementary School. The
fire department responded because the dude got trapped at four
thirty pm on Saturday. He was literally wedged in the
middle of the slide and they had to get him out.
They gave them an oxygen and it was really hot outside.
They had to set up ventilation. It took him thirty
minutes to free him.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
Took him down. Oh my gosh. I mean, you know
you should know.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
Look at you, look at the slide, look at you again,
and then make the determination as to whether or not
you're going to go down there.

Speaker 3 (19:52):
Welcome back to the program, Dana Lash with you.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
We're at the top of this third hour, and you
can just make Radio Magic Channel three forty seven Direct
TVs a simulcast.

Speaker 3 (20:02):
The chat is it's rumble all kinds of good stuff.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
So I gotta tell you a little sidebar for moms
and dads that are dealing with the back to school stuff.
So for my friends, my husband I got married very young.
So our kids, out of all of our friend group,
are the oldest of all the kids because everybody waited
until like they were basically in their thirties before they
started having kids. And we, I mean we started right away.

(20:29):
And I always hear them talk about, oh my gosh,
back to school, like going to high school, going to
which it is there's always a list of stuff that
you have to get. There's things that you have to get,
you know, and there's specific items, and then everybody goes
to the same stores and so you know, you got
to go earlier. It's slim pickens. Nothing prepares you, though, Boy,

(20:50):
mom's out there. I know you're gonna feel me. Nothing
prepares you, though, for when you have sons that are
going to college and it's worse than the high school,
junior high going back to school stuff.

Speaker 3 (21:04):
Now.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
Love the boys, they're great, they're responsible. And I always
tell people, I don't think college is for everybody. I
think there's certain disciplines and my son he got scholarships.
I like, it's be stupid to not take them. But
I also think his discipline is one that I would
suggest college for if you're going into a particular field.
You know, if you're going into certain engineering and you're

(21:26):
going into medicine, law, I think that's fine. And he's
going into one of the three. So to that point,
boy moms, at some point your sons go from chatty
Kathy's too. Here is a one syllable answer to everything,
And then you have to take out your runs and

(21:50):
basically try to figure out from your runs what that means.
You have to use magic to try to figure out
what they mean from this one syllable word. It is
the most frustrating thing ever. And when you have a
bunch of boys that are like rooming together, it's even crazier. So,
for instance, I'm like, okay, well they don't think you
always think that you prepare your kids for everything right,

(22:13):
and I feel like, you know, we've been doing a
really good job with that stuff. And then you get
weird questions like can I put this in the microwave?
Or can I use metal on a nonstick pot? You know,
things like that, and then you go full stop, what
did I not teach you? And so every year at
this time. For those who have left the house, I

(22:36):
go through this crazy list of I need to repeat
this as often as possible. Send them a list of
things that they need to understand basic just in case
I didn't cover this. You're like, oh my gosh, don't
put foil in the microwave. Oh my gosh, you know
all this crazy stuff. And just my son's getting stuff
together and he's going to college, and he's roomy.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
He's got three other roommates.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
And they have like a kitchen, right, and they were
talking about, you know, I guess what stuff that they
can make and things like that, And like I said
of my son, casual was like, we guys, do you
have like plates and utensils? I mean, you can't eat
out all the time and you have a meal plan
with school, so that's gonna be helpful.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
But what about inclement weather? You know what? You know? What?
What was something? I guess? We need plates? Like you
guess you guess? Like I can't even tell you.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
For someone who I plan methodically everything everything out, if
we go anywhere, if we travel, if we do anything,
if we Christmas, Thanksgiving, I mean, my meals are planned out.

Speaker 3 (23:46):
Everything I do.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
I will go to a restaurant if we host like
a business thing and everything is planned out. I mean
I will literally pre order things.

Speaker 3 (23:54):
I'm so type A.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
And your days you know, away from like going somewhere
moving in and you're like, iyes, I need some plates.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
I don't know. Maybe I'll just see it with my feet.
I don't know, And I'm just thinking, how are you
gonna laugh when I can't.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Even hardly verbalize it, and it just gives I don't
get anxiety, So I don't know if that's what this is.
But I am unsettled, and I feel like, ah is
that I don't know if that's I don't want to
be like hunter drive anxiety. I feel unsubtled. And you know,
because of this instance, because they don't know if they
need plates and they don't have any silverware, what are

(24:36):
you gonna cook it in?

Speaker 3 (24:37):
You're gonna use your hands? Like what are you doing?

Speaker 4 (24:41):
That's the difference between moms and dads, because I think
dads would be like, oh, you know what, it's a
good opportunity for the kid to learn a little lesson.
I'm not gonna sit there and like help him out
with dishes. Something basic like that he's gonna have to
figure it out for himself.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
And guess what he'll learn and it'll be fine and
everybody will be and he'll be a self sufficient individual.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
Well, I told him, I'm like, so, you know you
could get like Melanie, you know, dishwashers safe melomy. Now
we don't have to get like a nice plate that's
gonna break. And then I get, well, I guess any
plastic No, no, no, it's to shoot.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
Some leaden plates.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
Oh my gosh. Oh boy, moms, please, I know you
feel me out there.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
And the girls I don't even under Oh the Lord
did not give me daughters for a reason.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
Because I've been watching all of my girlfriends their daughters
that are going to college. What is up with the rooms?
So one of our friend's daughters was telling me about
the site. I swear they don't advertise. It's just the
whole name screams cupcake, love, shack, fancy. I don't even know,
like three random words. We're gonna throw it together. It's

(25:51):
basically like if unicorns explode on sale.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
That's what it is.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Everything like we're ruffly and litter, rhinestones, and these girls
rooms look like someone. It looks like the cupcake room
in Willie Wonka's factory. I don't know how to describe it.
Like they go in and they have like whole entire
houses in their dorm rooms.

Speaker 3 (26:12):
I don't get this.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
And they like the frilly curtains and they feathers on
the lamps and multiple rugs and things.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
Are hung on the walls. And you go in the
like my.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Son's room and he has an anti Comi poster taped
to the wall and like a couple of hodgepodge things
and that's it.

Speaker 3 (26:34):
It is super spartan, very spartan.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
And he's I think he honestly, I think that guys
pride themselves on how spartan they can be.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
Is that true? Is that true?

Speaker 1 (26:47):
Kane?

Speaker 2 (26:47):
There's a level of truth to that, I'll admit it.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
Like they move in and it takes a second, and
then they get messages from their friends that are girls like.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
Can you help me?

Speaker 4 (26:57):
I don't know that?

Speaker 1 (26:59):
And they, you know, they have to go and hang
up things with like feathers and boas and you know, ruffles,
and it's just so crazy.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
But the rooms could not be more different.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
You go into some of these girls rooms, and it's
like you walked into a boutique.

Speaker 3 (27:14):
It's like not even a dorm.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
You it's like a Harry Potter tent, you know where
they throw a little tent down and it looks a
little tiny and you walk in and it's like a
whole thing. That's like the girls college dorm rooms. It
is the wildest thing ever. And then you go into
these like the boys rooms, and they just look like hobos,
like the poorer hoboes. I like, there was this sliding

(27:36):
scale of hoboes there on the other end of it,
and I just like, how do you live?

Speaker 3 (27:41):
How do you live? I don't understand it.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
So I don't know. I'm just sitting here thinking they're
gonna burn this place down. They're gonna cook, and like
my son can cook because he does his own laundry.
I have not done my kids laundering forever because I
am not that mom. I'm like, I'm not gonna be doing.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
This for you.

Speaker 1 (27:57):
But I missed apparently the whole You need plates and
utensils and some other basic necessities when you're moving out
into your own thing for the first time, and you
just I just figure they knew that, and they don't right,
Like I you know what it's like to get a
text like can you actually put plastic wear in the dishwasher? No?

Speaker 3 (28:17):
You can't, not even on the bottom rack. That's not words.
This is gonna melt to death. That's gonna die.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Don't do it, you know, like we just oh my gosh,
and then to have all of this happen and I'm
I'm I'm juggling a few things. You're gonna have, Please
indulge me, give me some grace because it is it's
I don't know, man, it's weird. I don't like this
part of it. This is the part that they don't
prepare you for. It was easier when they were toddlers,
and you know, your worst worries were like fevers and

(28:44):
stranger danger. I feel like this is way worse. It's
a way worse because it's like now the danger is you.
It's just like you're gonna set your house on fire.

Speaker 3 (28:55):
Oh my gosh. So I don't know.

Speaker 1 (28:56):
I just get little little worried, low worried. Boy mom's
out there, but man, the girl moms are.

Speaker 3 (29:03):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
I'm so glad I couldn't. I'd be like, do you
really need another limp with others? Do you really need this?
Do you really need all these things? And it takes
them hours to move into like a box size of
a room. I know, y'all out there feeling on that
good Heavens, it is wild.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
It's wild. So I don't know.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
And I consider myself a maximalist. And when I'm even going,
that's a lot. You know, that's a big thing. That's
a big thing.

Speaker 3 (29:30):
So I don't know.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
I'm a little All your parents with kids going back
to school, I feel you, it gets worse, gets worse.
I'm gonna tell you that it just gets you know,
to throw your kids.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
In the pool to teach them how to swim. You
didn't do anything like that, Like, well, how protective are you?

Speaker 4 (29:45):
Because in this instance, I gotta tell you, as a dad,
I'm like, you're on your own.

Speaker 3 (29:49):
You're the dad.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
The dadays.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
This is not about hovering. I'm like, what are you
going to eat off of?

Speaker 1 (29:58):
You?

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Hobo?

Speaker 3 (30:01):
You don't even have a plate.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
But what I'm saying is.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah, you have plates, right, did you?

Speaker 2 (30:07):
Only he's admitting it, he's being honest about.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
But no, Steve, dear heaven save us, please tell me
please tell me that when you moved out that you
at least had like some plates and some eating utensils.
You like, when I moved to my freshman year dorm,
anything you didn't.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yeah, no, I had half meal plan. But when I
ate it home, I had like plates to wash and stuff.
We didn't have a dishwash. We'd hand wash them.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
But yeah, okay, there's some hope. I mean, I just
it's just like the little things, like they like to
not know the difference between a blind and a shutter.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
I'm like, what do you want.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
People looking in your room at night? You got some
recover them windows, you know. I just, oh, my gosh,
it is the craziest thing ever. So I had to
vent to you guys right now. I know we always
talk about me and potatoes, but I'm over here like
looking at my list. I always make a list, even
though it's not for me. And then I'm looking at
my list and I'm like, too many.

Speaker 3 (31:01):
Things they're done? What is happening?

Speaker 1 (31:04):
And it just is And I'm you know, I'm not
that mom that's gonna be all up in there like
this is hard.

Speaker 3 (31:07):
I'm not gonna cook for you. I'm not doing your lundery.
I'm not cleaning your.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
Place, but I think failure is a great lesson, That's
all I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
I also don't want to.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
I also don't want to be somebody going to you know, uh,
Walmart at like ten o'clock at night.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
Because we don't have anything to eat off of just and.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
Then they're gonna buy something dumb that breaks or you know,
I don't know, or they're gonna think it's meloanine and
it's not, and they're gonna set something on fire, you know,
if they have They didn't even know if they had
a dishwasher. Like that's like the first thing that I'm sorry,
I just alerted everybody's dogs just then.

Speaker 3 (31:38):
But I'm like, how do you not know this?

Speaker 1 (31:41):
How are these things you don't know? Oh my gosh,
Oh I guess like when we when we travel. When
we travel, I'm that person. I will literally Google tour
the area and I don't even need a map, any
need GPS. I get there and I'm like, no, we're
going here and here, And Chris is like, why are
you alien?

Speaker 3 (32:00):
You are psycho?

Speaker 1 (32:02):
And but I know exactly where to go, and I'll
be like, yeah, we're going here, here here, this is
where we're eating. This is breakfast dinner. I'm like reservation
here this you know, everything is set. I go in
and there is nothing left to chance. So it is
just crazy to me. For I don't know some of
this stuff, but I know it's the life of a boy. Ma,
it really is. So man, I don't know, but uh

(32:25):
who oh my gosh, and thank the boy ma, oh
my gosh. Literally so David, one of our listeners out
of Orlando. She says, I literally just used a pot
and spoon my first year of college. Fun and spoon.
That's like an instrument. Oh, I know that, but I

(32:46):
know that, But I'm you know, I'm just like, I can't.
You're gonna live your life even if it's stupid.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
That's the perils of being a great mom. The pair
the perils are being a good parent.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
And I had one.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
Another listener, Julelsey, said, I had to go shopping from
my eldest first first apartment because he didn't know he
needed plates cook where I think they think they go
into the They're gonna go into the apartment and open
the cabinets.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
In the glasses. It's like mom's house. It's plates like home.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
It's not like that. You gotta put that stuff in there.
It doesn't just operate into the cabinet.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
If you're eating pizza and instant rum and you're.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
Just gonna eat bad carbs and sodium.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
Right, that's what did you do in college. That's very
little meat.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
And that's why everybody has the butt cancer cane. That's
why they all got it because that's all they eat
in college.

Speaker 3 (33:37):
Horrible, all right, it should be.

Speaker 1 (33:39):
Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's
Absurd Shoot podcast.

Speaker 2 (33:43):
If you haven't already, made sure to hit that subscribe
button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.