The Bad News Bears Go On Vacation

In this episode the coaches are back from vacation with tons of stories. The Box family went to Texas to get some family time at the lake but it turned out to be an episode of the Bad News Bears! Lunchbox's wife did something that cause Lunchbox to lose his mind, surgery was required on Lunchbox, and one dog ended up at the Vet. Ray headed down to South Beach and got some inside information on an A-List college QB breaking the law down in Miami. Also Ray gives us his report on the topless beach of Miami! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Listen, you're sitting here dilly dicking around? Did you start
the time I did?

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm not dilly dickon, I'm not dilly dalllying. I mean
I am back from vacation and I got I mean
an extravaganza of stories.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Well, I would hope, because if you think about it,
we are ease of mind. We are more creative when
we're on vacation. And it's five entire days for just
stories to just create this swell, this ground swell. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
And I'm gonna tell you I was so excited for vacation.
I was driving to Texas, going to Lake LBJ seeing
the family. We were gonna spend you know, five six
days in the water, NonStop fun. You were going to
Miami South Beach to be exact, Yes, guess where I
went South Beach.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Okay, no you didn't, but all right, uh yeah, yeah
I did. Ray, that's the tie in. No.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Literally, you were in South Beach Beach and I was
in South Beach. It was amazing. As I rolled up
to the house, I was like, oh, me and Ray
were in the same freaking spot, and you don't believe me.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Here's where Look. I texted Chess day and he said,
here we go. Where is it at? Yeah, we're here,
come on.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Uh And I texted him the address South Beach, right here,
right there in blue Top, South Beach. All right, wild
but anyway you want, let's just start.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
You were a Kidding's gonna be huge me if you
guys came here for good content. That was it.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Chess Day came out and visited. He came out for
a couple hours, and he brought the swimsuits. He wore
a swimsuit, but didn't get in the water.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Chess Day was he got a kid, dude, No, he's
just chilling.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
He was partying. Uh, he was going out that nice.
They needed to get back and take a nap. But
he came and he said, I was being optimistic. I
brought my swimsuit and then like, all work, we're gonna
get in the water. And he was like, all right,
I'm gonna take off. And I was like, wait, you're
not gonna get in the water.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
All right.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I thought you brought you were wearing your swimsuits. They're
gonna get in with us. But he didn't get in,
so maybe he was you know, I don't know, I
don't know. Too many kids you know, a lot of
chaos going on. He was probably like, I'm a little overwhelmed.
It's kind of crazy, but yeah, yeah he thought time
to dip.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
He did. When you dip, I dip, We dip.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Put your hand up on my hip when you did
we you know that song.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
That's pretty nice of those guys, though, to leave vacation
bits for everybody to listen to while we were on vacation.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
I was really nice to those guys. I mean, they
did a great job.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
But it wasn't our current selves. It was us a
month ago.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, it was us, like not knowing what we had
talked about, so trying not to reference things and back
reference and come up with stories. And I didn't see
a lot of chatter. So I don't know if people
didn't even listen or they didn't enjoy them, but either way,
they were there for your play and h if you listened,
you listened. If you didn't, you didn't.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
We'd wish you'd listen, but hey whatever. They're essentially those
people on Instagram that don't like the photos. They're just
vultureing them. You know, they're seeing a little bit of butt,
seeing a little bit of boobs in a bikini, but
you don't actually like the photo. That's what they're doing
with our podcast.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Ah, they look at it, see it, listen, but don't
rate it. Don't comment. Yeah, don't email. We are the
sore losers at gmail dot com. Don't give us your opinions.
Don't say welcome back, guys, we missed you. How was
your vacation? Didn't get one email asking that.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
And it's weird. It's a weird time in sports because
they're talking about thirteen run pools and is there any golf?
Was there a John Deere Classic? Dude?

Speaker 2 (03:39):
It went in over, dude? The last two tournaments playoffs.
I even got my mom to watch golf last Sunday's
relaxing and it's a good vacation watch. Well, there were
some people out in the water and I was hanging
out inside with my mom and I saw the score
and they were going to the playoff. They were tied
on number eighteen, really, and I turned it on just

(04:00):
to see the last hole because I thought, oh, someone
will thirty eighteen.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
And they'll win. I think it was the Rocket Mortgage
is the one it was, and they did.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
And so then there was three guys going to a
playoff and I was like, Mom, which one do you
think's gonna win? And she picked the guy in the
pink shirt Castellelos, and I picked Taylor No Gracerman, oh
was a week before? Yeah that one? And I picked
the guy in the green shirt was pock Eater, and
so she was like all right. So then it went

(04:27):
one playoff hole, two playoff holes, three playoff holes, and
my mom goes, okay, this was fun for one hole.
I didn't know this was going to be an excuse
to watch golf for an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
Loser has to do dishes.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
But the kids came in from the lake and they're cheering,
go pink shirt, go pink shirt. And whenever pock Eater
went to the green shirt, min sit minisit min mitst
So they were cheering against me and cheering for Granny.
But it was kind of fun because the kids got
into it. My mom was into it, and I didn't
even know what the hell the tournament was. We watched
a total of six hole, the five playoff holes and

(05:01):
the one number eighteen that was it don't even know
who was in contention until we turned it on at
that moment, but it was a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
That was not one of my good stories. The vacation
sports are golf and tennis. Wimbledon talk about a beautiful
vacation sport. It hit last year when I was in
Charleston Wimbledon. This year in South Beach Wimbledon. It is
so relaxing. I just wanted to take a nap and
I did, and I every day did.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
I'll be honest, I didn't want Literally the only sports
I watched was that playoff with Pockeater Gracerman and some
other guy Captain Kirk, but he got eliminated after like
two playoff holes. That was the only sports I watched.
Didn't watch any Wimbledon. Didn't even know who was winning
baseball games. Don't know about any trades that happened in
the NBA. Nothing, I had no regular I was not

(05:49):
paying attention. I didn't turn on sports. It was so
relaxing to be by the water.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Well. The place I stayed at, we will have Wimbledon on.
They put on the big screen.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
There's nothing else going on.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
We're talking in eighty by eighty screen. At this hotel,
it would say breakfast seven to eleven. The minute eleven
am hit Wimbledon live coverage all day. They streamed it.
We will be playing Wimbledon. You're looking for the baseball game. Oh,
you mean football soccer cut FEFA. No, I mean Major

(06:21):
League baseball smack of the BALLA. I want to correct myself.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
I lied World Cup, Ray did. I did turn on
the Gold Cup Wednesday night. When I looked at the score,
it was two to two. B fuck Cup and USA
versus somebody.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
Honduras mares Costa Rica.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
We went into penalty kicks, and so we turned it
on and watched the penalty kicks.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
We did audio Arabia. That's all we watched. And I
had heard that the Nashville soccer team is on fire,
that we are unstoppable in playgo. They say it Ray South.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
They're in second place, one point out of first. They
beat the Philadelphia Union on Saturday. I don't know how
they won, but I guess it was dramatic.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
We won one.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Nothing PK in the ninetieth plus eleven minutes of stoppage time. Minute.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
A girl I follow the only reason I know said
in the final minute we scored PK, which you just said,
but it sets up my story. And then it was
the crowd going crazy, and I said, I didn't know
she was a soccer fan. And then she spun the
camera around and I also did not know that she
doesn't wear bras nice. So when is the next game? Uh?

Speaker 2 (07:30):
But let's get to the show so I can tell
you my stories. I can hear your stories, because I
got so many stories.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
I heard the golf story about you and your mom.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
Now that wasn't even the story.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
That was even fuego.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
No, that was just me telling you the only the
sports I watched over the week.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
I didn't know I was cooking. Man, we were at
our best during the third overtime. Pink shirt. Pink shirt. No,
that that really wasn't That wasn't a point. That wasn't
a point. Man.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
I really had stuff to come out of the gate
with and that wasn't it.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
All right, we will not be with Arnold. He was
murdered last night. No he wasn't. No, he wasn't. NOI wasn't.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
It was not that is you were reading the onion.
You were reading the onion.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
That was not true. It did not happen. All right,
we will we will probably see him on Wednesday. Yeah,
we're gonna do a lot. We oh the one two three,
so loser? What up everybody? I am lunchbox.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
I know the most about sports, so I gave you
the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much
a sports genius.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Y'all. It is Sison. I'm from the North. I'm an
alpha male. I live on the North Side with Baser.
We have property two point two acres tons of cornfields.
I have been questioned as of late if there is
in fact Ray and Baser. I cannot talk about that.
Over to you man, to you man, listen man.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
Vacation starts that last Friday, and I talked to my
wife and I'm like, look, we gotta get on the road.
We are driving twelve hours, twelve and a half hours.
We gotta make great time. I don't want to get
there at eight pm Saturday, where we don't even get
any late time on Saturday.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
So we're saying starting at square one.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Square one, dude, No, no, no.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
Continue right and thurday right away. When I got on
sixty five, some guy flip me off.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
I flipped him off, and my wife then asked them,
so we get packed on Thursday night, and I'm like,
you want me to pack the car right now, and
she's like, no, just leave it by the door. I
will pack it in the morning. We'll be good to
go when you get home from work. I'm like, perfect.
And I run to the grocery store Thursday night because

(09:34):
I got to get some stuff for breakfast because we
have no breakfast food because my wife doesn't want to
make dirty dishes. So I'm like, all right, why i'm there.
Do you want me to grab snacks for the road.
She says, no, I can get that in the morning. Okay,
no problem. Sounds good.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
That's a team that's.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
A team effort. We are communicating we're ready to go.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Ray.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
We got out of work about twelve forty five on Friday,
and I drive home. Takes about thirteen minutes to get home.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Pit stop.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
I pull up, and I am expecting the family to
be buckled in their seats and we are going to
pull out of that driveway. My wife's not even.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
Home, still getting groceries and stuff, Still getting groceries and stuff.
You just repeated what I just said. What about the
kids were they?

Speaker 2 (10:18):
Oh they were with her?

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Oh right, they're home alone. Don't tell anybody. So they
don't show up until two o'clock, brutal. I would have
lost my cot.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
In my mind, we are already an hour and fifteen
minutes of wasted time from when we said we were
going to leave from to when we actually leave, because
I am sitting there waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting.
When I said, Hey, do you want me to grab
the snacks the night before? She said no.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
So this vacation is off to a great start, Ray,
a great start that can't happen.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
So then we drive and it's time for dinner, and
we're in Memphis. God Almighty, let me tell you could
have been the home of it.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
You can mention at one point.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
Drove through you know, the hills neck of the Woods
of Jackson, Tennessee. Thought about stopping there, but now let's
just keep going. And we're looking for a dog friendly
restaurant and we find this great Italian place that has
a first come, first serf patio. We find it on
the internet and it's right in Harbortown, right on the river.
And I'm gonna tell you what, Ray, there's actually a

(11:19):
nice part of Memphis.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
There is Harbortown, We Jumbertown.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
It's right down the street from Bass pro shop right
by the Saint Jude's Hospital and if you want to
become a partner and hope, it only costs twenty dollars
a month, go to Saint Jude dot org and it's
first come, first serve. So we park and there's all
these people in the great moods. They got their golf
carts driving around Harbortown. I don't know if they're there

(11:43):
for vacation and all these people live there. Walk up
to the Italian Place and we sit down at a
table on the patio and the waitress comes up and goes, oh,
you need to go see the hostess, and we're right, no, no, no,
Online it says like first come, first serve. She's like,
oh no, that's not true.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
On the weekends, semantics, man eat some food, all right. Cool?

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Cool, So we go in and see the hostess like,
oh yeah, it'll be an hour and a half. Wait,
another delay, another delay. But there's another restaurant right down
the old strip of the Harbor Town, some bar restaurant,
and so we walk in there. They're like, oh, do
you guys allow dogs? Like, oh, we do, allowing dogs
on our patio, but our patio is not open currently.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
Whoa, you guys had a dog with you?

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, And I'm like, oh, okay, cool, and they're like,
what would you like to sit inside? And we're like, well,
we have the dog. And they asked my wife is
it a service animal? My wife says no, and the
hostess goes, I think I heard you say yes, honey,
learned a lot. So we are in this restaurant with

(12:49):
a damn dog, just in the restaurant hanging out. So
I go get cheesesticks out of the car, letting the
dog eat treat all over the floor, just laying there.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Kids act like it.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
And let me tell you, slow, slow, slow.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
Slow service.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
Dinner takes about an hour and forty five minutes, so
we have been wasting nothing but time A way I'm traveling.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
That's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
It is so frustrating. I'm trying to be in a
good mood because it's part of the adventure, is the
road trip and making memories.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
But my in herself just wants to get there and
be on vacation. Mom, why is dad so mad I'm
leaving you guys goodbye? No?

Speaker 2 (13:35):
I mean the fact that she wasn't home to leave
when I got home from work.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
But at that point you just have to say to yourself,
I'm on vacation. As long as you're in that mindset,
you're good. You can't be in the productive, ambitious mindset
that's work.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
I understand. And I should have tried to. I should
just let it go right when they weren't home. I
should have just flushed it.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
The best. You gotta flip the switch. The best dads can.
The worst not the good dads can't flip that switch.
The best dads know how to flip it.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yeah, And so we're driving after we get done with dinner,
she's like, I'm sorry. We should have just gone through
the drive through, like you said, gone to a park,
eating on the you know, at a park bench, something
like that, and be a lot of easier.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Mike, it's okay, it's okay. Hold on, doesn't matter with
good or bad dads. Dads that don't flip the switch,
that's what your kids are going to remember. Dads that
do flip the switch, that's what your kids are going
to remember. Correct, You've gotta flip the switch. I know, Ray,
I couldn't find a light bulb.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
I couldn't find it. I couldn't find the switch in
the dark. I was frustrated. I was angry. But it's okay.
We're on vacation and we stop in Little Rock for
the night.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
We're not making very good time. We've only made it
five hours. We still got like seven and a half
to go. I'm not happy about this. Like it's been
a rough, rough first day. And I said, hey, we
got to get up early, and we got to go.

Speaker 1 (14:54):
Gotta find spot HBO thirty two inch screen.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
And we get in, we get to bed, and we
get up and we hit the road early, seven thirty am.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
We are on the road.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Then it takes thirty minutes of Chick fil A. Okay,
that's okay, no big deal, that's all right. Not gonna
be angry. I flipped the switch. I'm in vacation mode.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
My pleasure kids. Anything else I can do for you.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
And let me tell you, Ray, we drove so well
that second day.

Speaker 1 (15:19):
Well, sure, kid, I'll get you an extra sauce.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
Then the seven hours that we had left on a
road trip starting on Saturday morning, we only stopped twice.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
Only stopped twice. Ray, call the cops. Wooooo.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
It was amazing. We get to the lake. We go
swim in, we stay up late. It was pure chaos
at the lake. It was so fun.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
All the family arrived at the same time or staggered starts,
shotgun finish, staggered starts.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
My mom, dad, sister, her three kids, and Batter's Box's
kid all showed up on Saturday, got it, and then
we showed up a few hours after them.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
It's pretty good timing. Yes, so you would have you'd
have been there by yourselves. Why would you have one, Well,
they would have got there when we were getting there.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
They could have got there Friday, if we were getting
there Friday, all that, they could have been there earlier,
if we were going to get there earlier. They just said, okay,
you know you're not here yet. We'll take our time.
And so we go swim in, stay up late, cousins
all going crazy catching. Oh good to see good to
see it. Go to bed, wake up. The next day
we go fishing and let me tell you, they fished

(16:24):
more than I've ever seen anybody fish in my life.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Cabin on the lake or what are we at?

Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, yeah, we're at a house on the lake.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
I mean we had a rich Carlton for all I know.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
No, No, we're at a little lake lake house on
the lake. And when I say little, it's a one story,
three bedroom, small, just what you need, run of the
mill house.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
I already picture it, no fanciness, nothing, And you pictured
my wife's lingerie in the corner of the bed.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
No, not with all that family around, there's no lingerie happening.
And one thing about the lake is you don't You
don't shower anything like that. You don't do any of that,
so there's no lingerie happening. Kids are sleeping on the floor.
We got an air mattress, and the air mattress I
realized the kids are getting too big to fit three
on one air mattress, so then we had to rotate nights.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
Each kid got to.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Sleep in the bed because two people could only fit
on the air mattress.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
So then what oh a kid would come in to
bed with you and your wife. Yes, that's a lot.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
And the youngest one is the worst because I don't
know what he does when he's sleeping. He does a
damn circus act.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
Cat gets in and tries to get in the king
size California king. I'm like, get out, flips around, kick
it in the head. He's upside down. I don't know
how he turns all these ways, but he does. It's
super annoying. What are you doing mouth tape? No? Oh,
A lot of them women are doing that now.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
Now I'm not doing mouth tape.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
I just sleep. I just close my eyes, go sleep.
Paser's doing the mouth tape. So if you tried talking
to her after ten pm, take off the mouth tape.
I can't understand what you're saying. I only have a
couple more mouth tapes. I can't do this too much
or it loses its stick. Great, Please don't put on
the mouth tape before ten pm.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, so I'm gonna tell you what happened.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
And we fish.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Nothing exciting, go swimming. Then cousin Andrew shows up and
I'll tell you all about it. Right after this.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
Are we allowed to guess? Yeah? You got touched by
a bear?

Speaker 2 (18:13):
No, no bears, no bears, dude. We swim, and it's
time for lunch and we're getting you know, the lunch
together sandwiches, and do you want ham or turkey? Ham?
All right? Ham ham?

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Hey, babe, can you hate me the pickles? Sure's reading?
She gets the pickles.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Out of the fridge and we're talking a large jar
of pickles, okay, not you know huge, like where you
got the full sized pickles. These are sandwich slice pickles.
And she hands it to me and I guess I'm
not really paying attention classic and it's kind of wet
from the you know, the condensation and the.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
Fridge very moist at camp.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah, and it's a glass jar and I grab it,
and I guess I really didn't grab it all the way.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yes, jef yah, chef, Yes, chef, great show. Never seen it,
just know the reference, got it. It goes slipping through
my hands. Oh what dude, what are you? Who's the
guy that fumbels a lot? But Marco Murray and shatters
on the ground.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
But it's heading for my right foot.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Kids, get out of the kitchen. My dad would have
sent us out of the house for five hours minimum.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
I guess it was really heading from my left foot,
So I pulled my left foot back and up in
the air, just misses my right foot, but the glass shatters.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
That would have been a major artery.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
And my wife's like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
are you okay? And I was like, no, there's a
glass on my foot. Oh no, She's like, you stepped
on glass. I was like, no, no, no, I did
not step down. The glass shot into my foot after
I dropped the jar.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
And she's like are you sure? And she's like, are
you sure? And I said, yeah, I am sure.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Why is she questioning you at this time of pain?

Speaker 2 (20:02):
And she looks she goes, I don't Oh, I see
the blood and I'm like, yeah, it's there. I can
feel it. And my sister, luckily as a nurse, and
she starts looking at it and there's just blood coming
out of my foot right.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
Like what point was she gonna believe you? When the
gush started to shoot her in the eye.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
I don't know. I don't know why she's questioning me.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
I'm on my last breath. Are you sure you got
hit with class?

Speaker 2 (20:27):
And I'm like, yes, I'm sure I got hit with
glass and it is I'm in pain.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
I gotta change your voice. Her voice sounds like arnold,
and are you sure you got hit with class? Yes? Honey,
I losey God, just this, Are you sure?

Speaker 2 (20:42):
And so then I have to sprawl out on the countertop.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Are the kids seeing this? Oh my gosh, yes, we
got a live version of er. I mean, look at
the floor. Oh, you're not lying. And was anybody concerned
about the pickles being lost? The kids? We right?

Speaker 2 (20:58):
Can I have piles? I'm like, no, guys, there's no
pickles allowed to be had. There's glass everywhere, guys. So
here I am. Look at me, dude, I'm up on
the counter and they're trying to do operation on my foot, brute.
And my sister looks at it goes, oh, why was
your dad the night nurse?

Speaker 1 (21:17):
What was he doing?

Speaker 2 (21:18):
I don't know what he was doing.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
He was comforting. Cute.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
No, my mom was comforting me.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
Here, Dad gave you a pillow to clinch, and.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
I mean I did give a shout out to Saint Jude.
And then my mom is wearing a Saint Jude's shirt
in the picture.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
Oh that's great.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
Yeah, And I am like. My sister goes, oh my god,
that's in there deep.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
How does that just fall in there? Is beyond me,
That is what I'm saying. That denies gravity.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
And the physics of it is just crazy to me.
That I didn't even step, and that it could shoot,
that it had that much velocity that it was then
it went so deep into my foot that I velocity
hit her pitcher pitch velo.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
I'm gushing blood right there on the floor. And so
I'm laying there and anybody called nine to one one,
not yet. That's America right there.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
And my sister's like, man, it is really deep and
I'm and she goes, I can't. I can't believe you're
letting me dig this deep into your foot. And I'm like,
how deep could it be? And then she's like, oh,
I got a little piece. I'm like, there's still more
in there. I feel it. I can feel there's more
glass in there. And so she is sitting there digging,
like fifteen twenty minutes of digging in my foot.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
Dude, what do you Tatum and Brown man? You sound
like Kyrie right now.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
And she's like it's too deep. I can't get it.
You're gonna have to go wait die, No, I'm about
to go to the minor emergency, the urgent care.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
Did you tell her not to use terminology? Like we're
gonna have to let you go? Right? What is she
talking about it?

Speaker 2 (22:47):
And my middle son is like, Dad, are you okay?
My cab man, it's just a little glass.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
But just tell me the game, tell me the score
of the Concaft game.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
And so cousin Andrew, who came to hang out with
the family and see the kids and everything, He's like,
I guess I'll take you because you're my wife needs
to stay here with your kids.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
I guess he could have been a little bit more helpful.
And hey man, I was just picking my ass. I
guess I'll drive you to the hospital. What was he doing.
There's no Wi Fi? So well he was gonna swim,
I mean, hang out with the kids. Man, Hey man,
I was about to go do another lap out there
in the front pool plays him back and forth.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
No volleyball, there was no pool man, there was no pool.
And so he's like, all right, So we had to
drive into Marble Falls and go to the urgent care
and show up and there's only one person in front
of me. So I'm thinking it's gonna be in and
out quick. I've never been somewhere so slow in my life.
I thought the restaurant in Memphis was slow. Good God almighty.

(23:46):
We sat there for two hours when there was only
one patient in front of me.

Speaker 1 (23:53):
One patient. This core memory. I hope you flipped the
switch and remember you're on vacation. I remember I'm on vacation.
The kids are to remember how Dad was yelling.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
My cousin there was stuff he had to get at
the grocery store for the you know, because we were
running out of stuff already. On day one. He went
to get more pickles.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
So we're gonna get groceries before we get you to
urging can.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
He's already got me at the urgens gear and it's like,
oh man, there's only one patient in front of you.
I guess I'm just run to the you know, HGB,
get some groceries and come back and you'll be out.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
I'm not calling it urgent anymore. They took you to care.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
Yeah, they took me to care exactly. And I'm there
just sitting and sitting and he comes.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Back, Hey are you Jason Gills? How's it going?

Speaker 2 (24:30):
And the lady calls me back and I'm like, I'm limping.
She's like, oh, what glass in your foot? She goes,
let me get your wheelchair.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
They take your clothes off and I'm like, no, no,
I don't need a wheelchair. She goes, wait, did they
think some glass could have been in your taint? No? Okay,
and she was like, we've ruled out all areas.

Speaker 2 (24:48):
I'm just because it's up by my toes is where
the glasses So I'm walking on my heel.

Speaker 1 (24:54):
Okay, it's painful, but continue. And she's like it would
really make me feel better if you got a wheelchair.
Oh my gosh, we're getting old right in front of
my eyes.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
And I'm like I'm okay. She goes, no, no, I need
to put you in a wheelchair.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
Just in case you're in a wheelchair. We need to
get this guy a wheelchair. Rip at iHeart so ray.
She puts me in a wheelchair and I'm like, all right, dude,
what if somebody leaks that photo?

Speaker 2 (25:20):
She literally wheels me three doors and it's like all right,
and I'm like this is it and she's like yeah, yeah,
hold on, hold on. I was like, I'll get out
right here. She goes no, no, and she reverses it
back up, turns it and wheels me in and I'm like,
I can get out here. She goes, no, no, let
me get you closer to the bed. All over a
velastic shard, all over a velastic shard, dude, And she

(25:42):
wheels me right up next to the bed and then
she comes up and here, let me get your arms
just in case you fall. And I'm like, I am
not a ninety year old woman that's about to fall over.
I have a piece of glass in my foot.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
Was she hot? No? Oh, and so she yeah, let
me just grab your don't feel a lot more safe?

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Oil fell.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Oh my gosh, sorry about that.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
Thank you for the support being there. And she's like, oh,
you know, we're gonna have you soak your foot for
five minutes and then the doctor will be right in.
Twenty six minutes later, I'm still soaking my foot when
the doctor comes in. Five minutes turned into twenty six.
Cousin Andrew's back from the store. He got my mom yogurt,

(26:25):
he got some other cold items. They are roasting in
the car because it is taking so long.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
Hey this cousin Andrew yet, does anybody have any prescription
medicine I need to pick up. I got the time.
Oh you' meal with a mailbox, perfect, no worries. So
he's like, I'm gonna run to the paint store across
the street, Sherwin Williams, and we need to touch up
that door before we leave the Airbnb actually he was looking.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
He was going to Benjamin Moore because the type of
paint they needed that Benjamin Moore is the only one
that carried that color. And it just happened to be
across the street from the care, not urgent care, and
it had a big open sign on the window. So
he's like, I'll be right back, and he was gone
for about six minutes and he comes back. He goes, well,
it says open, but it's not open.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
And then the doctor comes in and goes, all right,
let me take a look, and he goes, oh, man,
that's deep, and he starts to digging on.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
Oh. He goes, let me go ahead and numb your
foot before you go on. Are we losing blood? Because
what you showed me the picture in the kitchen looked
like a significant amount of pint. If you will, have
we been able to stop the bleeding, You've been able
to stop the bleeding.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
We got it bandaged up at the house.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Because I mean, there hasn't been a lot of urgency
if you were bleeding.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
Right, And so I am face down on the chair.
He pulls down the big light and he starts digging
in there, and I'm like twitching I'm like, oh, I
don't know about that. So then he goes and gets
the big needle in numbs it and he's like, I'm
gonna have to cut it open more, but I gotta.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
Be able to do something with colors where they can
just tell where it is.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
I'm like what, and he goes, yeah, it's in there
so deep I can't reach it. And I'm like, oh
my gosh. So he slices some more in.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
My open.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
And it's digging. He goes, I can feel something. I
can feel it, and then he finally got it out.
Oh sees and I was like all right, and he goes,
I'm about to stitch up your foot.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
I said, what like that? It's that big of a cut.
So he sewed it up. Doc, I don't lose it all.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
And I told him. I looked at him. I said, man,
I'm on vacation, so uh, I'm gonna be honest with you. Doc,
I'm not gonna stay out of the lake, so just
start me on the antibiotics now, because if it's gonna
get infected, I need to beat it. And he goes,
I gotta be honest with you, man, I don't think
the lake water is gonna hurt it at all.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
You go have a good vacation. That's probably not the
best advice. I'm like, I don't know if I trust you, Doc,
but okay, whatever. So that was it. That was my
trip to the r man. Who did you say? Drop
the jar? I just wanted to go back real quick,
ask one final question, you or your wife? You dropped
it me? Okay? So I was gonna say, are you
sure your wife wasn't trying to kill you? No?

Speaker 2 (28:59):
It was definitely mean. She handed it to me and
I grabbed it and I turned to put it on
the counter.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Right except for yes the next day, the coffee tastes
a little bitter, like she puts some viz in it.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
But I don't drink coffee.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
Cox. She was trying to kill me all we can,
She kept saying, here and drink this coffee. Huh, I
don't drink coffee. What the hell? Hey, how's it going, Sarah? Yeah?
I hate this son. So Ob won't go down. He
won't drink the coffee. I tried to kill him with
the blastic shard. What do you think I should do next?
Have you tried putting a pickle on it?

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Have you tried to hooking him with a fish hook.
I mean that that'll get him every time. And let
me tell you, so, I'm I got stitched. I come
back home and everybody celebrates me.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
And that was my trip to the r kids will
never forget. We'll take a break, we'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
And I mean, I got more, but I need to
hear some Miami stories. I feel like people don't want
to just hear about my vacation. But I got so.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Many stories.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
That was on that was on Sunday, dude, and I
mean it just it went downhill from there?

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Do you need to save it? What's wrong? No? No, no, man.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
Are you trying to pick which one's the best?

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Oh? Man? No man? The thongs? Thongs in Miami? Can
I just address this? And topless beaches? So our friend
what is Miami known for topless beaches? Okay? So our
friend sends us this, Guys, we gotta get better with
these screenshots randomly. She's our good friend, Heather, She comes

(30:28):
over all the time, and she sends us this going
topless and nude sunbathing in Miami and it says topless
sunbathe This is an article from Miami Tour company, and
it says topless sunbathing in the United States is forbidden. However,
Miami Beach is the exception where women are allowed to
sunbathe topless on the beach between First Street and sixteenth Street.

(30:55):
Our hotel was on sixteenth Street. Let's go yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
And then it's so if bays are interested in the
topless sunbathing, I.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
Actually low ki asked her and she said that she
would have done a thong if we found the right spot.
Got it. But but and then it says there's also
a clothing optional beach at north end of Haulover Beach
Park which people are completely naked. Okay, so this is
just me addressing the topless sunbathing in Miami. It's complete

(31:28):
bull crap. Nobody's topless there. There's not one topless chick. Oh.
We from right. We were at a nice hotel, though richer.
We didn't intend for this to be a rich but
we can get into that story. At some point. Never
intended for this to be rich rich. It turned rich
rich quick. So those places have no no thongs, they
have no topless Oh. So sixteenth I went out, I said, hey, Bazer,

(31:52):
I'm gonna go out hit the beach. Go check out
this topless sunbathing. There's no topless sunbathing. I was on
sixteenth Street, I can tell you right now. Wow. The
article says, first to sixteenth, sixteenth Street has no topless women.
There were thongs, though, lots of them. There was a
lot of thongs, not specifically right in front of ours,

(32:12):
but fifteenth fourteenth, thirteenth. Because I walked down a little bit,
got a drink. You can walk the beach there with
a drink. It was thng to dongtong Thong. Baser said
she had brought one. I don't necessarily know if it
was the thong. Might have been more of the whale tail,
she said she would have could have been talked into it.
Never had enough beach days. A little bit of rain
in Miami. Apparently I learned that the hard way spring

(32:34):
up storms. Ugh, So truckers, if you guys are curious, thongs, Yes,
no topless chicks in Miami. That is from the seventies
when Scarface was alive. That's my story. There's five others.
We can get to them whenever you want. I wanted
to make note of these, and everybody can pick them.

(32:57):
So it is the five one thousand dollars overcharge. Oh uh,
A list college quarterback that's playing this year caught doing
this at the pool. Something illegal, got it. Tom Brady

(33:22):
at a sister hotel spotted doing this. I went to
a return of the restaurant dis but it's not called Dix,
and they're rude and it was the worst experience of
my life. But it's the new version of Dicks. But
it was the worst experience of your life. Worst experience
because I hate Dix. Why don't I want to go

(33:42):
to a restaurants where people are dicks? There's that story,
this one. This one is the pasta Sauce was made
by Rows. We went to the original Rouse pasta Sauce
restaurant was delicious. I was gonna give you my review.
That's the tease. And then uh, the return of STANCHI guy. Oh,

(34:07):
I mean we got stories all week, folks, And then
I mean, this one doesn't even I don't know, you
know how to tease this one. My wife booked this hotel.
This stuff, so the entire week this isn't even a tease,
but the entire week the staff called me her last name, Oh,
I was mister Bidwell. The entire week. Like my last name,

(34:30):
mister Bidwell, thank you for staying with us. Not my name,
my name is uh senior Slater. Thank you, mister Bidwell.
Have you enjoyed your stay with us? I have my
name Slater, so's heirs. I have no idea why you're
calling me Bidwell, thank you. So however you book it,
they're gonna call you that the entire week, every department,
at every breakfast, at every coffee shop, because they pull

(34:53):
up your room and it always says Bidwell, thank you
so much, mister Bidwell, good morning. My name's not Bidwell, Slater,
senior Slater, thank you, Thank you. Guys. Oh, so there's
your stories. We can hit one none push to Wednesday.
I gave you the Thong song thong to the thong
Thong Thong. I rest my case and I'll hang up
and listen.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
It's very disappointing that you were staying on sixteenth. You
had me built up that you were about to see
boobs galore and it was about to be the most
amazing beach and it turned out there was nothing now.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
And I ran all the way to around because I
would go the street all the way around four street,
so unless the breasts are on the beach, which they're not.
I checked. Unless the breasts are on the street, they're not.
I checked. They must be on a street, either Washington

(35:44):
or Collins, because I checked the entire quarter mile to
the beach for breast and there were none. So unless
if somebody's got some free time, check Collins Avenue. Check Washington,
because that must be where the breasts are. Because my
name Bennett, and I didn't see them.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
My name see him?

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Uh? I didn't. Uh, I didn't spot spot him. Hey,
my name is Bob. There are no boobs. My name's Tottim.
I didn't spot him. There you go. So I want
to hear about this quarterback? Okay, what was my teath
on that one?

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Doing something illegal at the pool?

Speaker 1 (36:21):
Okay? So I can never name this one. I maybe
can tell you.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
Wait, you're gonna tell me that hold of hunt.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
It is an illegal activity spotted at a pool. Absolutely,
I will not be naming them. I said a list,
You said.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
A list starting quarterback this year?

Speaker 1 (36:38):
Yeah, I know it is. You can narrow it down
to the top ten and you can do the math.
I got an idea. So the pool boy he he
and me became real sure and what no, but that
is top ten, he said, Carson back, we can roll
that one off. But that's my he's a good call,

(37:01):
but he's probably twenty one. That's where the story goes.
They were underage drinking. Oh no, so at this pool,
this hotel pool, I was at very very high end.
We intend for it to be high end. No, the
high end came to us. We don't try to go
rich rich. But the pool boy said, this quarterback on
spring break was getting housed a list college quarterback starting

(37:26):
this year, top ten arch Manning was in Miami for
spring break. Allegedly. You can say all the names of people.
I am not going to confirm nor deny, but this
quarterback was with his boys. No idea really their age,
but the pool boy told me definitely underage house and

(37:48):
some drinks on spring break at the at the hotel.
So if you're a star quarterback, is what I'm hearing,
you can drink underage guys. There's no rules when you're
in the freaking the sheets party, you're in the streets.
You know what I'm saying. They can do what they
want with this nil money. And he said they were

(38:09):
having a great time.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
So what I hear is he was being a college
student on spring break doing nothing wrong.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
That's illegal to drink under the age of twenty one.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
You are acting like this dude was committing murder at
the pool. The dude was being a college That is
how Arnold was killed. This dude was enjoying some bruskis
with his boys, and you are hanging him out to
dry like he did something so terrible that nobody else
does in this world. So he had a couple of

(38:40):
beers under twenty one more than a couple.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Who care? He was getting drunk. That doesn't matter. He
was sawtaed. It's okay to be sawtaed.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
He was slamming, knockered, slover, knocker, tipsy, turvy, dervy.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
I don't care. The dude deserves a break from the
rigorous studies of academia. He was three sheets to the
wind and how wendy was it in Miami? It was
sheety and windy and three sheety? Are you gonna name
the quarterback? Because all he was doing was drinking. Get
out of here. These people are not as stories. People

(39:20):
can look it up. My point is this, it wasn't
the illegal thing because you batted that down. Why are
we not worried about white and blue games or whatever
that they got or whatever they gained. They were probably
already over what happened to these one Whatever they do
the spring game, spring game, what we're not training for
that they probably already trained. Ray.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Here's the thing about college athletes and professional athletes. When
they're younger, they can drink sixteen seventeen beers and be
fined by six am when they got a report to
the locker room.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
Well, what if they're only selling Stella R twah six
percent alcohol, mothercker.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
And he probably had sixteen stellar artoires.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
You murdered Nutterer dose Echi's mother per.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Then they were drinking dose seconis. Is that what the
quarterback liked to drink? Did you get a report on
the beer he liked to drink? Because you told me
it was an a lister and you built me up
like you were about to break some news, and then
you won't even tell me the quarterback. You won't even
tell the nation. So the story falls flat when you
don't include a name.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
So what I'm saying with this is this is not
out in the media. This quarterback likes to party that
he had to he was fiending for this alcohol, this,
this bud, this SuDS in a bucket so much that
he had to get housed. As the kids are calling

(40:48):
as the kids are calling it, he was cooked. So
you're telling me he's putting his alcohol before his football,
and I think that affects the team this year. And
if you on it out off air, I'll give it
to you for twenty dollars. But that's my story, and
I'll hang up and listen. Yeah, off Air, tell me
Arch got it here, Ray, here's twenty. Here's twenty dollars

(41:11):
twenty for your crappy story. We're gonna take a break
out of that. We'll be right back. Dude, you don't
like my pool boy? I get personal relations with a
pool boy.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
Yeah, I like it. But the the whole audience is
there going.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
Who is it? Who is it? Who is it?

Speaker 2 (41:30):
I'm not gonna reveal who it is. I'm not.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
I'm not. You can look it up. If I said
top ten, check out the top ten team in the
country Oregon, Penn State, Georgia or are they up in Alabama? Tennessee? Nico, Immali, Texas.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
So after I got surgery, you know what I mean,
go back to the house. And on that Monday, I mean,
the kids are fishing so fun. One of the dogs,
there's a pole laying there on the ground, grabs the
b and starts running, running through the yard, dragging the pole,
and I'm like, whoa, stop, stop stop. The dog has

(42:08):
been hooked in the leg from the bobber from the
He got the bobber in his mouth and he's running.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
So the hook is in his leg.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
So we got to lay him down and we're trying
to get it out fish and the barber is just
so far in there. We can't get it out. We
got to get the plyers and we got to cut
it once. Still doesn't come out. Cut the thing twice.
We had to cut it three times before we could
get out of its leg.

Speaker 1 (42:32):
Lake life sounds like an injury waiting to happen.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
It was a lot of injuries. And so then that
night we had promised one of the twins he had
been begging for somemore. So we're gonna do the s'mores.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
Whoa you have twins?

Speaker 2 (42:44):
My sister does, and so we light up the fire,
we're doing that. We're ready to go, all right, everybody,
get the crackers, get the marshmallows, and we're like, listen, guys,
be careful. Carry him with them pointing down. You don't
want to stab anybody. You don't want to burn anybody. Everything.
And they do the first thing of marshmallows and batters

(43:04):
Box son does his marshmallow, gets it nice and hot, turns.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
And the box here with this battery box kid.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
The kid that had been begging to do s'mores gets
the from Battersbox Kid turns with the marshmallow right on
his arm. We got our first burn of the night.
It has been fifteen seconds of doing s'mores and the
kid has a burn on his arm and he has
melted more. He pulls it off and there's melted marshmallow there.

(43:36):
His arm is starting to bubble up. We got to
run inside, get some cold, get some water on it.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Neo sporn, neo sporn wrap it. Ray. We could have
used you out there.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
So we have a dog get hooked. We got a
guy get suffering burns from s'mores.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Who's the guy that said he would drive you, cousin,
Andrew Cousin Andrew, Well, I guess I'll take the kid
that has third degree burns. Why don't you do that
stead of waiting in two feet of water and looking
at minnows for the third day.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
Well, cousin Andrew was only there for a few hours.
He was out, He drove kid knocked, he drives back home.
But he did come back on Monday with his wife,
brought his dogs, let them run around and that was
a blast. But he left before the s'mores and so
we're like, all right, guys, this is it. We gotta
go to bed. It's eleven o'clock. So we go to bed.
We had one burned, one hook of dog in the

(44:26):
with the fishing lure, and we go to bed. And
I wake up probably six am, and I feel like
my stomach is about to explode.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
I'm in pain.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
I have stomach fer pains like you wouldn't believe. So
I just lay there in the feenal position. I fall
back asleep for thirty minutes and then I wake up
to hear boo boo, and I text my sister and
I'm like, hey, your daughter's throwing up. Let She goes, sorry,
I'm outside with my one of my sons. He's throwing up.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
Also, you don't think they got into daddy's brown liquor.
Do you. I'm like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
And so I sit there for a little bit, and
while she's thrown up, I was like, I gotta go,
I gotta go, and I run. I mean, I waddle
to the other bathroom and I explode straight liquid and
I'm sitting on the sitting on the toilet. I yelled

(45:28):
at my wife. I said, hey, give me some towels.
I'm about to I'm gonna pass out.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
I'm gonna wipe with towel.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
No, I'm about to vomit because I started getting the
sweaty feeling on the back of my neck and that's.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
I got mud on this towel. I'm about to shower
with it.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
And I'm like, I'm gonna pas I know I'm gonna
throw up. I'm gonna pass out. So my wife runs
throws some towels. I can build a fortress so I
don't hit my head on anything. And I get over
the toilet. I flushed it first, and I don't throw up.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
You guys treated this Airbnb house like a frat house, dude.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
And then every time I burned that day plastic, it
tasted like it tasted like throw up. I never threw up,
but I had the rhea all day, So.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
You just had that at the top of your bays.
The same thing from Margaritas. Oh my god, dude, she
said she just couldn't get it down where you could drink.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
I couldn't get it, would just burp, just like throw
up all day, all freaking day.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
Did you think about a fire burner you can do
like a fireball shot.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
I thought about sticking my finger down the throat and
just making myself vomit, right, I thought about jumping. And
then I go to bed Tuesday night, and I wake
up at like three thirty in the morning, and I mean,
I've never had stomach cramps that hurt so bad. I
sit on the toilet for forty five minutes, just like
a raging river. And then I think, oh my god,

(46:51):
I don't know I'm gonna throw up. So I go
outside because I'm like, if I'm gonna pass out throwing up,
at least I'm in the yard.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
At least the bears behind me.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
At least at least i'll pass out in the So
I go out.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
Dude, if you pass out in bear territory in the grass,
they'll come right up behind you.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
There are no bears in Texas. Oh, I'm not in pigeon,
for he said cabin. I thought pigeon, dude, And I
kept thinking a bear was gonna touch you the whole
time I'm out there on all fours, ah in the grass,
all right? Who left the dog out? Oh?

Speaker 1 (47:23):
Wait, that's lunch.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
And I mean, I've got to tell you. My sister's kid,
he's such a he was dedicated to fishing. Like we're
sitting there fishing Tuesday morning after you had thrown up
and had diarrhea. That he had his pole in the
water and he was leaned over the dock vomiting in
the water.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
That's actually good for the chum.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
And he caught three fish in about a twenty minute period.
It was unbelievable. And then he uh, and then.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
He catch a fish.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
So I and I don't and I'm out in the
grass and there's too many bugs, and I'm like, all right,
I gotta go back inside. So I go in the
bathroom floor and I am stretched out, face down, just
trying to stretch my stomach out because my cramps hurts
so bad. Smart and I go to bed and the
next day it's gone.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
That happens. It comes twenty four hour bug.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
I don't know if it was a bug. I don't
know if we if me and the two kids ate
something that no one else ate and we had a
little food poisoning, or we just had a bug. But
it was absolutely.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Miserable, stomach virus, hook glastic charred burn victim.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
And then Wednesday camp life is a movie. Batter's Box
is finally going to show up. He is finally gonna
arrive here with a special and he shows up at
like four o'clock.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
Does anybody need some neasparn or band aids?

Speaker 2 (48:41):
Oh, we need everything, man, and we are just it's
out of control crazy. I mean kids hooking kids with
fishing poles. My dad might be the most patient person
I've ever met in my life now because I don't
know how kids.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
Do it right. He knows how to turn the switch.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
But I've decided that if you have a job that
requires patience, if you want to find out if someone
is going to be okay for that job, don't interview them.
There's no need to interview them. Don't even ask them
about their skills, their personality, anything. You just sending them
fishing with three kids six and under for two days,

(49:21):
and if they can survive that, you hire them for
the job. Because these kids, Wow, that's genius. I have
never seen people get fishing poles tingled as much as
these kids did and as often as they did. I mean,
you would hand them the pole and thirty seconds later
they're like, uh, I'm twisted on the dock, or I'm

(49:43):
tied up on this, or I'm tied around his pole,
and I mean it's like the biggest knot you've ever seen.
I'm like, I just put a warm on your pole.
How did you do that?

Speaker 1 (49:52):
You sound like my dad. It was unbelievable, man, I
couldn't flip the switch again.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
I can't tell you how many times my dad had
to cut the string and redo everything because those kids
got so many polls, tangled, so many unbelievable. But Batter's
Box shows up and I gotta say, Wednesday, no injuries.
We went one day injury free, no accidents, no nothing.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
I wish the NBA could say the same. Thursday morning,
we had Achilles want of Battersbox's dogs got a hook
at his tail. I mean, you guys needed a bottom
screen on the ESPN crawl of all the injury report
got a oh my gosh an injury report from people
at Lake Life during fourth of July. Man cuts off leg,

(50:45):
mom exposes breast to child. Dude bottom line of people
at camp.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
So we had to lay his dog down. We're trying
to take it out, and the dog and squelching, So
gotta go into the vet and they're like, you're gonna
have to drop them off. We're too busy. And they
were like, yesterday we had a dog come in with
a hook through its mouth.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
They're like, y'all want to just stop fishing and just
go out.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
Yeah, you guys want to like put the hooks away
because you guys seem to like get everybody injured.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Y'all ever heard along John Silvers?

Speaker 2 (51:17):
And so we leave the dog there and they called
back about four or two thirty saying, all right, we
had to sedate the dog to get it out because
it was in there so deep. Luckily it didn't get
any bone, but we're gonna need the dog to stay
till about four thirty so it can you know, come
out of you know, sedation wheelchair. It was not in

(51:38):
a wheelchair. So we got we got the dog back
and it was just that. I mean, it was an
amazing week. And then on the ride home, Oh right,
you thought we were done.

Speaker 1 (51:51):
Save it for Friday's podcast. I got Wednesday's podcast covered.

Speaker 2 (51:55):
No, no, no, save it. This is just a quick one.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
We get to the hotel and we stop in Texas Arcana. Right,
I'm gonna be real. I preacked up a prostitute.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
Don't know if any of those exists in Texas Arcana.
We're right there on the state line.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
Well our boys did know, Yeah, boys and the lizards
out there let us know.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
And baby Box one's waking up and he's like, aha,
a ah, my ear hurts.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
He's doing this all night. I'm like, it can't be
that bad. Finally, at two in the morning, he's just
beside himself.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
Is that your family's favorite line? Your wife? You have
plastic shards in your foot. He can't be that bad.
And maybe that was the only time the kid earache
can't be that bad at some point, Let's just take
it for face value. It's that bad.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
Yeah, And so I'm like, all right, I'm gonna I'm
gonna go get men's. I'm gonna go get some you know,
motrin or tiling off for kids. I'll be back and
I google Walmart closed, Walgreens, closed gas station, clo oh,
twenty four hours CVS. All right, cool, it's two am.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
Let's go. Oh. Shouldn't be any matheadicts there looking for
a yah bathroom agent for anything.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
So I drive the one point three miles to the CBS.
That's twenty four hours, and right there in the front
it says CBS twenty four hours.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
Perfect. One of the letters is missing. Security guys playing
on his.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
Phone, park the car.

Speaker 1 (53:23):
Get out happy to me every time at South Beach.
That's why I said the reference Waazer'll get it.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
Walk up to the door. This location is currently closed.
Your sign right there says open twenty four hours. It
says twenty four hours, CBS pharmacy on the internet. And
right there on the freaking sign right there in the
parking lot, the big sign on the road side, it
says CBS open twenty four hours. Yeah, it's two fifteen am.

(53:51):
That would be part of those twenty four hours. It
has a taped sign on the door we are currently closed.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
Ray, I'll tell you what I did. Pulled down my
pants and I vomited.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
Out the rear. So then I'm like, all right, So
I drive around town looking for something. I find a
gas station. I'm like, they'll have it.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
You're going for gas station yellow jackets.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
I'm going for anything with Hopefully they'll have children's sign.
All well, they have it at a gas station, probably
not right next to.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
The motor oil. And then those uh.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Yeah, air fresheners. I don't know if they have that
at the gas station. But I'm not ready for my kid.
I don't think he has it what it takes.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
We got two moon piles for one. If that tickles
your fancy, welcome to Texarkana.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
I don't know if he is able to take a pill,
like just an advila or tilen All.

Speaker 1 (54:48):
You folks traveling through or through traveling, that was a joke,
laugh when you want.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
And I pull in the parking lot and I'm about
to get out of the car to go in there
and look for some tilenoll er advil for children, motrin
is what they call it. And I surveyed what was
going on in that parking lot. I was like, I
better kno, get out of this car.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
Lizards.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
We found our first lizard, and so I reversed the
car pulled out of there, and I went back to
the hotel empty handed.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
No, I guess you didn't find what you were looking for.
We're called Texas Arcana because we're not Texas or Arkansas.
I'll see you later. You'll come back. Only place open
twenty four hours. You fell for that CVS twenty four hours.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
So my advice to you, if you ever traveling and
you're gonna be at the Texa Canna of the state
line and you're gonna need medicine in the middle night,
by it before you go to bed man, because nothing
is open.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
Nothing is open.

Speaker 2 (55:52):
The gas station right there might have been a SIP code,
could have been a shell, don't remember, but it was.
It was not gonna be I don't know.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
It was not. I don't think it was safe. Well,
welcome to my truck stop. You want to make an
honest woman out of me, you're gonna make me keep
on being a serpent. And that was our vacation. Man.
You think there were lizards in that parking lot.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
I know there wasn't lizards. Other kinds, yeah, I mean,
it was just there was a lot going on on
the mingos, maybe flamingos. I don't know, but there was
a lot going on in that parking lot.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
But I noticed now a lot of the people, the
seven eleven by me. It's not your lizards, it's your uh,
it's your flamingos, the male ones, and they're they're looking
for not lizards, They're looking for something else, something that
helps with their allergies. Gosh, it was, it was.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
It was a great vacation. A lot of injuries. I
mean it felt like a sitcom. Everybody getting hurt. I mean,
I was putting a worm on my my baby boxes
hook and for some reason, he yanked the pole. Ah
hooked me, He got hooked by his cousin hooked your
I hooked my thumb, he got hooked. Baby box got
hooked in the armpit. My batter's box's son.

Speaker 1 (57:11):
Yeah, they may have been a little too young for
the hooks. Batter's Box's son caught a turtle. That's impressive. Turtle.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
Yeah, he caught a turtle. We had to reel it
in and get it off the hook, which was hard
because he kept putting his head inside his shell.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
Yeah. Were you catching releasing or were you cooking them? Catching?

Speaker 2 (57:28):
Release?

Speaker 1 (57:31):
Who else?

Speaker 2 (57:31):
I mean, we got so many kids hooked, like it
was unbelievable how many kids were hooked.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
See, probably not a great airbnb. They need a dock
where you can juts out and that'll keep you guys
from hooking. If you're all on shore, you're gonna hook
the hold. No.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
No, they were on the dock, dude, they were walking
around just I mean, here's what's funny. This is what's
great about kids. They would get a bite. One kid
would get a bite, and guess.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
What would happen. They'd all drop their poles and go
to that.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
They would all run over there and drop their poles there.
So that's hower bite because oh my gosh, my dad
kept going, guys.

Speaker 1 (58:02):
There are fish everywhere. There are fish.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
Everywhere, or the ones that just want to cast it
and so they take it way over their head and
there's a kid standing three feet behind him. It hooks
them and he's like, guys, you've got to leave the
worm in the water. I've never seen you catch anybody
catch a fish with their worm out of water.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
He's in correct, fly fishermen, the flies stay above the water. Okay,
I said worm.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
I didn't say fly.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
Keep your worms in your pants. Boys, that's men talk.
Don't tell your moms. I told you that.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
But I will say fourth of July it did rain
all day. It did rain all day and nine pm
it finally stopped. We did get to do fireworks and
the lake did flood. Like we were there where the
floods were. I saw boats floating down the lake and
I did almost catch a fish on July fifth from

(58:56):
the flooded waters. I saw a bobber come up out
of the water, go back under the water and it
was flying. It was swimming against the current, so I
know there was a fish on there. I got the net,
couldn't catch it. We had one kid throw a pole
in the water when he was trying to cast. I
was holding a dog and I tried to cast and
I forgot I was holding the dog. The dog yanked,

(59:18):
I dropped a pole in the water. I mean it
was it was like the Bad News Bears go to
the Lake nine one one that needs to be reincarnated
camp life. I mean it was crazy, It was wild.
It was a wild, wild time.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
Coming up on Wednesday's show, return of Stanching Guy, Pasta Sauce,
the reincarnation of Dick's Restaurant, a quarterback wearing a disguise.
I don't know if that's how I teased it the
last time. No, and the five thousand dollars overcharge on Wednesday. Spot.

Speaker 2 (59:57):
Hey, maybe my story my stories may not have been interesting,
but I just that was my vacation.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
Dude. So my foot.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
My sister on Saturday morning before we hit the road,
she had to cut my stitches.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Out because she's a nurse. If that's not the Sunday Scaries,
I don't know what is.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
And my foot still hurts. I don't know how long
it's supposed to be sore, but it's been over. It's
been almost a week. No, it's been a week, and
I still have a sore foot. So I don't know
if there's still glass in it or if my foot
is just bruised from them digging in it. My cousin
said he was watching the doctor and he was taking
like four steps and like peeling the skin back, and

(01:00:35):
he was in there and he.

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Was all right, I can't. I got goosebumps because there's
that in the hooks. All give me goosebumps, dude, the hooks.
There are so many kids hooked this weekend. I mean
it was unfreaking believable. How many kids got hooked? You're
doing that there. Billy was up in Dallas getting hooked,
different kind. Oh it was raining there too, torrential downpour.

(01:00:59):
It dude, it was crazy the amount of rain that
came down.

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
I mean it was wild.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Yeah, it just looked like sheep. Billy sends me a
video middle finger and it's just in the background, driving
up sixty five or thirty five up to Dallas, sheets
of rain coming down behind him.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
Uh. Garrett's parents they live in Austin neighborhood next to
my parents. They got three inches of rain in fifteen minutes.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
I saw some got twenty five inches. Not in that
amount of time. He said.

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
They were out there trying to keep the water from
coming in their back door.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
At that point, it's too late.

Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
Unbelievad. I mean it was crazy. The floods were crazy.
We drove through it on the way back, Like we
saw some of the devastation, like, uh are Lake Lake LBJ.
The docks were under the water, like we couldn't swim
the last day. There's so much debriege.

Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
Ah. But yeah, at the end of the day, and
then when.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
We drove from Lake LBJ to Dallas rain the whole way,
the whole freaking way.

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
You luck you made it back. Boy.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
There was one time we had to take a road
we had to turn around, not drown. It was over
the water because over the road. Yeah, it's terrible, but yeah,
that was my vacation.

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
Man.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
I'm sorry. My vacation is not as important as is
not more important than yours. But I feel like your
stories are going to be more bangers.

Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
I just said, we'll slot it for Wednesday, and then
your vacation follow up is Friday. I don't have any
vacation follow up. Well, you got to come up with something.

Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
We did go to the urgent care yesterday.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
I was something that happened at one of the gas stations.
I don't really want to talk about till Friday. No,
baby Box does have.

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
An ear infection, so he was not faking the injury.
He was not, you know, exaggerating the pain. He does
have an ear infection.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
So dude, it was funny you talked about cvs because
the one I went to right next to his CVS
I was open twenty four hours, twenty four hours because
I'd go there at three am when i'd wake up
thinking I had a radio drop. Oh I'm on vacation.
I forgot so I'll go get gatorades and stuff. Every
time I was propositioned, most of the time by men.
Oh right, even more interesting, right, I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:03:05):
Gonna tell you well, we kept the worm business in business.
We bought probably thirty boxes of worms.

Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
Actually I'm incorrect. Most of the time didn't know it
was manimal. Oh all right, that's a long pod, dude.
I was a little cut and a half. Put one
on one Monday, one Wednesday.

Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
Yeah, that's my fault. Man a vacation pot. It's always long.
But yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
It was great to see the family though, Dude. It
was really fun that fishing right there. Last time you'll
ever do it. No, they were so they loved it
so much, dude. They were fishing every minute. They can,
we go fishing. If we weren't swimming, they wanted to
go fishing. But my point is, you never know the
last time you're gonna play wiffle ball, and you never

(01:03:50):
know the last time you're gonna go fishing. I think
the last time I went was when I was twelve
at a church retreat with my dad around a lake
that was twenty eight years ago. Never been fishing since.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
I mean, we brought the whiffleballs they did. Dad did
throw some pitches to the kids, so did cousin Andrew.
My sister bought this cool thing. It's like a water tea,
like you hook it up and then you hit the ball.
But we never even got it out. Dude. We had
so much going on. We played some great games. My
mom found this one game. It's called.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
SoC hockey.

Speaker 2 (01:04:30):
You cut noodles in half and you have a beach
ball and you hit the beach ball and that's how
you play.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
It's like a I like it so fun. What do
you do for the nets?

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
You tie noodles together and you put them over It's
like an arch.

Speaker 1 (01:04:43):
So you think that could have been what gave me
the reverse diarrhea when you took one of those to
the anus.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
No, I don't. I don't think that was it at all.
But yeah, I mean, I'm just telling you. And we
caught some big fish, dude, it wasn't small. I mean,
look at this fish.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
I'd say, big fish. Yeah, Pops does look pretty patient there,
I mean, just big fish after big fish. I mean,
was there a final tally or does it all just
blend together.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
I couldn't I couldn't tell you how many. And it's
so funny because we had to send them in and hey,
caught another fish, caught another fish, and then we played.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Another good game we played was this ping pong game.
You get the like twenty four pack of eggs the
crate carton, and you put it on the table and
you play ping pong balls. You bounce them and you
gotta get four in a row.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
Yeah. So it's actually a littlegit game though.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
I mean, look at the kids. They were into it.
It was kids versus adults, and they were going but bananas.

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
But you realize it's an actual game. No, I didn't.
They make boards for it and stuff. Me and Baz
are played when we go to her parents and your
boy caught a couple of fish, John, man, you have
no tally, No, dude, I couldn't even tell you. I mean,
would you get like eighty, I would say, like forty,
you caught forty fish? Yeah, because I believe my family's

(01:06:02):
record at hog Park, Me, my sister, brother and dad
caught twenty two. See and here's hawker. I mean a
great yard they got. It was great dude.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
Oh wow, I mean it was so fun. They were
I mean, boom, yeah, fantastic. We played a lot of
goat Fish, and then we brought back the game that
we used to play this. I mean we used to
play this all the time, Raco. Oh my gosh, guys,
that is a game from the past. It was in
the closet and we're like what and we played that
every night card game. Yeah, so fun, due racked you.

(01:06:37):
I really wish I knew how many fish we caught.

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
I really do wish. I don't. Well, that's what I'm
saying because I was curious because I remember the exact total.
Maria can confirm. Uh Muffy, I believe it was around
twenty one or twenty two at hog Park Pig Park
in Wyoming. Me. Dad, you Rob caught and then you
guys didn't even have a total. I'm tony. The kids
need to know in thirty years when they're on a

(01:07:01):
radio podcast, how many fish they caught that time at
the camp box. Iok, at, look at Gramps just in
the water because they're all stuck on the rocks, and
we went down the street and they were getting caught
in a rock.

Speaker 2 (01:07:12):
He's just in the water, getting getting him out of
the rocks. Dude, he's just so patient, so nice. I mean,
did that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
Place have a boat? I mean I have stuck those
kids in a boat, not even taking the poles out.
I mean, why I pick pulls when you go drink
on a boat. Like. Check out this big old fish
my niece caught. That might be the biggest one. That's
a massive fish, I mean, just so big. Those action
photos are good too. Who took those?

Speaker 2 (01:07:39):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:07:40):
Here go, man, here's the foot all right, man, all right, sorry,
here's doc working on me. Dude, you were reverse.

Speaker 2 (01:07:50):
I was reversed.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
He's coming in from the backside. Ray. He had me
put my pants down, even though it's in my foot.
That's awesome. All right, we gotta go. We went way
too long, Foy