May 23, 2024 • 12 mins
On today's P1 Podcast, Thor tells the story of how he broke his window with a surprising object
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So what's the deal. If youbreak a mirror, you get seven years
bad lucks? Like that's what Whatif you're a dumb ass and break your
own window? How many years forthat? We ain't It's time for one
podcast completely uncensored and unacting filtered exceptfor that part the show's after show starts.
(00:27):
Now, Dude, I cannot believethis. This is one of the
Listen, this guy I'm talking aboutfour has the dumb ship over the year.
Oh that's so true. And wewill always barking back to putting his
fork metal fork because it was toocold. You don't have told what a
(00:50):
fucking dumbass, Like I'll never forgetand like honestly still defends it to this
day of like it was just asecond or two, it's not going to
catch the place off and almost itwas sparking. Was yeah, insanity,
But this one, I mean,is it FOURK level? It may be.
Look, did you hear with thisdude what he was this? But
(01:11):
this guy did, yes tell astory? And yeah I think you do.
So I know you've tried to avoidit all day. Yeah, yeah,
I'm in my bedroom. Well,first I'm going to the gym,
so I take some pre work out. I got the blood flowing. I've
got pre doubt. It's chest day, so you know, I'm there's nothing
better than a good chest day.Chest and his arms, I don't know.
(01:34):
I don't just do the arms thatit's not weird. I just have
nice arms. Just never do legs. I do legs. Really, yeah,
I do legs on I did legson Tuesday. Really I do legs
and cardio your legs, yes,my legs, okay. So I have
my water bottle. If you don'tknow my water bottle, it's a very
(01:55):
motive if you don't know it,everybody, this is my water bottle.
It's a have a gallon and ithas motivational quotes on it. As you're
drinking, what like seven am,good morning, nine am, hydrate yourself,
eleven am, remember your goal.One pm, keep chugging, three
pm, feeling awesome, five pm, don't give up? Seven almost finished,
(02:19):
and at nine So so you're supposedto drink one of those. Two
of those. I want to doa galla day water from a gallon a
day. So it's funny because theysell these water bottles at like basically all
the basic bitch places and every timeI see them, I laugh, yeah,
because I think Ross and Marshalls.I recently saw one at Typo this
(02:44):
weekend. You know, type outthe store attached to cotton on So where
you can of those guys. Yougoing to the mall with the bolt bitches.
Okay, I'm going to the mallTypo cotton non cigarettes, booze and
bobo. Got it. Girls,I'm the cool mom. We have to
(03:07):
tell that guy I live with toleave. That's true. I'm just saying
I was in Typo. I sawthat and I laughed, and I thought
of you, because that water bottleis obnoxious, very obnoxious. I love
it. You love it because Idon't have to fill it up. I
felt twice a day that's it.Wow, once in the morning, but
then none of the times match up. Yeah, I know, I don't
(03:28):
know. I wish I could takethese times off. I love the size
and it was like eight bucks onAmazon. Wow, so I know.
And it's plastic, but it haslike a little it has like a little
handle lot strapped. Oh strap strapyes, m yea when it doesn't really
(03:51):
fit in a lot of the onlike the exercise bike or on the StairMaster.
So I wouldn't even sit it though, So I put it on.
So because of the strap, Iput it around the arm and it kind
of hangs and swim that perfect.Yeah. So I do feel really sassy
at the gym because you can't youcan't see me. But here I'll show
you guys when I walk around.What are you doing right now? You're
(04:13):
doing? Oh? He swings it? Why a little red riding hood.
Yeah. I have a couple,like of my cute handbags and I have
like and then they're the little oneswhen I'm wearing like a sweet like a
spring dress around. When I dothat, that's a good set. Wow.
So yeah, so I do that. So talking to my wife,
(04:35):
I just drank the pree and Ilet the dogs out. So now that
the dogs out, So the preehas been in my system now for about
ten to twelve minutes. It startspumping up. You start getting a little
jittery. Oh we're going to startgetting like that. Yeah, I mean
I could drive. It works thatI get a little jittery. Yeah,
but like you just want to startworking out. I'm not like that.
(05:01):
You know. Then, you guysnever take a pre workout. I don't
even know what that is so preworkout is it's like four hundred milligrams of
caffeine and it also opens up yourblood vessels, so you get a good
pump on. Why would I everneed that? Oh, you get a
good pump on. I don't workout the fo some have more than that.
Some have and some has fat burnersin them. I don't drink the
(05:23):
ones of fat burns because they makeme get a cold sweat and like my
mouth ors to salivate, and Ihate that feeling. Yeah, I used
to take a when I would workout at home, my abs and Buns
of Steel VHS tape prefre at home. Well, I used to back in
the day, back when, Yeah, when and I do my abs and
Buns of steel, and dude,I felt like I could fucking lift my
(05:43):
entire house over my head. Itpumps you up, like, yeah,
it's basically just a spark plug.It doesn't really do anything else. And
some morons will dry will dry gulshitwhen you're supposed to mix it with water
to dilute it, and they'll givethemselves like a heart attack, like it's
really fucking stupid. Yeah, it'sanywhere good, So I quick yeah,
(06:11):
man, and the pre Let's gothe pre. The pre names are always
insane, like the names of thepre workouts. They're very douchey, like
the one I'm taking right now isb M f H bad motherfucker. I
don't know anything or like you know, or like I don't know. Of
course, I'm drawing a blank ofall the names like steel yeah, or
(06:32):
like you or like get booked orlike you know what I mean, what
it is that doesn't sound like yeah? Like a real one? All right?
So so you're you know, mywife's sitting on the bed and I'm
talking to her. She's patting thedogs. Now to the right of me
(06:53):
is the wall in the window,double pane window, and I'm sitting there
and I'm swinging my water bottle likethis. I do this a lot,
and I don't know why I havea d D. So it's like a
fidget spinner. I'm just talking toher and I'm freaking, you know,
I'm spinning it and she says something. I don't know what we were talking
(07:14):
about, but somehow I go likethis, and like the water bottle slips
out of my hands and it's filled. Up to three pm. Feeling awesome.
What would you say? That isalmost a quarter again? And it
flies out of my hands and ithits the window. And then I hear
and I think Stone calls Steve Austin. Glass breaks and the window just completely
(07:39):
shatters. So you're sitting there talkingto Haley spinning your water ball like a
little kid. Yeah, and wiesout of your hand because I mashes your
window. It just breaks your bedroomwindow. Dumb. And I couldn't.
I couldn't believe it. I'm like, how did that happen? Well,
I could tell you, like Eddiesaid, like a little kid. I
could see my son read doing thatexact same thing him, and I go,
(08:03):
stop doing that. That's gonna flyout of your hands and it's going
to break the window. Right where'syour mommy? Where's your mom to do
that? Yeah, Florida, dude, she would have yelled at me,
what a stupid thing to do.And now I'm like, listen, it
was an accident. I'm not worrying. Yeah, and I'm not worried about
like my landlord or anything. Ijust don't want him in the house.
He's so annoying and nos he soI'm like, I gotta fix this.
(08:26):
Fucking thing. Obviously it's my fall. I'm gonna fix it, and I
just don't want to deal with mylandlord and like not that, Like I
said, not that I care,it's just he's no annoying and the dogs,
so like immediately, I got toclean up all the glass. That
takes a while because it was doubleand then there's glass everywhere. I got
to vacuum it up. We gotanimals, Like, I get the cats.
I'm worried about the cats because thedogs aren't going to go through the
(08:48):
window. But I'm fucking freaking outover the cats. Yeah, you got
Marshall's got a bacterial infections, Kim'sgot a uti Jesus insane right now,
I's wrong over there. So Iuh, so I the screen's bent,
So I take the curtain that wehave and I I I clean everything out.
Then I I'm like, okay,I pop open the window, like
(09:11):
come bring it down towards me,and I'm able to pop it off the
track and take it out and theframe is fine. So I don't need
a whole new window. I justneed a new glass, you know.
So I'm like, Okay, everything'scleaned out, and then I tape the
curtains to the wall across the windowso you can't get out of the window.
This is a horrible that's what youhave. You don't have like cardboard
or something that you can put oncardboard, or like another piece of furniture,
(09:31):
like a bookcase that you could bringover there or something. It's just
well, remember there's a okay,I have to mention this too. There's
there's bars on my windows. Solike, I'm not really that worried about
anybody breaking in. Someone's living inprison, so I'm not worried about people
breaking in. I'm just worried aboutthe cat's getting out. So I tape
(09:54):
the curtain exactly. So I tapethe curtain on the window so the cats
can't get out. That's so stupid. I hate everything about that. On
a rod well, yeah, butputting too much pressure could come on.
No, it's fun. Cats arecrazy. I'm gonna leave right now.
So then I go to home depotand I bring the uh frame frame with
(10:18):
me. You want to see apicture of it now, really I know
what a frame looks like. Well, the glass is still on it.
Okay, Wait, you're traveling aroundshards of glass still attached to the window.
That is so fucking dangerous. It'snot going anywhere. What do you
mean it's not going anywhere? Andyes, a fork won't catch the microwave
(10:39):
on fire. Guy, So Itake it to home depot And remember when
you used to going to home depotand they would have answers and they know
what they're talking about. Yeah,guys, they used to my dad.
I run into these two fucking idiotswho didn't even know where the window aisle
(11:00):
was, and then both of themcome over there to try to help me,
and they're just so confused. Theycalled three different managers and they're looking
at me like I should know,and I'm like, guys, I don't
know what Like, I'm just wondering, what kind of window do you guys?
Do this? Do you guys dothe glass? Did you leave the
window in the car or you brokearound home deepot with the broken by the
way, By the way, they'rethe idiots. It's completely stoked in.
(11:24):
It's compromised. Bro, you're oneof the dumbestans. Really, Oh my
god, So these idiots don't knowhow to help me at all. It's
just like what happened to home Depot. I'm so disappointed in Home Depot.
They did used to have professionals inthe aisles. My dad sold windows and
he worked in the window to partand he could help me out, like
people like fixed this broken glass,the glasses flying out, there's a stick
(11:48):
my head. Yeah, I can'tbe the first person to ever walk in
there with a broken window. Idon't know that. So I leave Home
Depot and I find this guy whojust does glass glass man last man named
Howard, Okay, Howard Glassy,and he wants me to go there today
(12:11):
before eleven with the window with thewindow because he could he could fix it
and then put the new glass on. So I'm going to do that.
But yeah, it's a nightmare.And I leave tomorrow to go somewhere.
So I'm like, I need thisfixed. Maybe don't be such an idiot
next time and swing your water bottlearound your room. Huh. Thanks, Okay,
So what's the deal. If youbreak a mirror, you get seven years
bad lucks? Like that's what Whatif you're a dumb ass and break your
own window? How many years forthat? We ain't It's time for one
podcast completely uncensored and unacting filtered exceptfor that part the show's after show starts.
(00:27):
Now, Dude, I cannot believethis. This is one of the
Listen, this guy I'm talking aboutfour has the dumb ship over the year.
Oh that's so true. And wewill always barking back to putting his
fork metal fork because it was toocold. You don't have told what a
(00:50):
fucking dumbass, Like I'll never forgetand like honestly still defends it to this
day of like it was just asecond or two, it's not going to
catch the place off and almost itwas sparking. Was yeah, insanity,
But this one, I mean,is it FOURK level? It may be.
Look, did you hear with thisdude what he was this? But
(01:11):
this guy did, yes tell astory? And yeah I think you do.
So I know you've tried to avoidit all day. Yeah, yeah,
I'm in my bedroom. Well,first I'm going to the gym,
so I take some pre work out. I got the blood flowing. I've
got pre doubt. It's chest day, so you know, I'm there's nothing
better than a good chest day.Chest and his arms, I don't know.
(01:34):
I don't just do the arms thatit's not weird. I just have
nice arms. Just never do legs. I do legs. Really, yeah,
I do legs on I did legson Tuesday. Really I do legs
and cardio your legs, yes,my legs, okay. So I have
my water bottle. If you don'tknow my water bottle, it's a very
(01:55):
motive if you don't know it,everybody, this is my water bottle.
It's a have a gallon and ithas motivational quotes on it. As you're
drinking, what like seven am,good morning, nine am, hydrate yourself,
eleven am, remember your goal.One pm, keep chugging, three
pm, feeling awesome, five pm, don't give up? Seven almost finished,
(02:19):
and at nine So so you're supposedto drink one of those. Two
of those. I want to doa galla day water from a gallon a
day. So it's funny because theysell these water bottles at like basically all
the basic bitch places and every timeI see them, I laugh, yeah,
because I think Ross and Marshalls.I recently saw one at Typo this
(02:44):
weekend. You know, type outthe store attached to cotton on So where
you can of those guys. Yougoing to the mall with the bolt bitches.
Okay, I'm going to the mallTypo cotton non cigarettes, booze and
bobo. Got it. Girls,I'm the cool mom. We have to
(03:07):
tell that guy I live with toleave. That's true. I'm just saying
I was in Typo. I sawthat and I laughed, and I thought
of you, because that water bottleis obnoxious, very obnoxious. I love
it. You love it because Idon't have to fill it up. I
felt twice a day that's it.Wow, once in the morning, but
then none of the times match up. Yeah, I know, I don't
(03:28):
know. I wish I could takethese times off. I love the size
and it was like eight bucks onAmazon. Wow, so I know.
And it's plastic, but it haslike a little it has like a little
handle lot strapped. Oh strap strapyes, m yea when it doesn't really
(03:51):
fit in a lot of the onlike the exercise bike or on the StairMaster.
So I wouldn't even sit it though, So I put it on.
So because of the strap, Iput it around the arm and it kind
of hangs and swim that perfect.Yeah. So I do feel really sassy
at the gym because you can't youcan't see me. But here I'll show
you guys when I walk around.What are you doing right now? You're
(04:13):
doing? Oh? He swings it? Why a little red riding hood.
Yeah. I have a couple,like of my cute handbags and I have
like and then they're the little oneswhen I'm wearing like a sweet like a
spring dress around. When I dothat, that's a good set. Wow.
So yeah, so I do that. So talking to my wife,
(04:35):
I just drank the pree and Ilet the dogs out. So now that
the dogs out, So the preehas been in my system now for about
ten to twelve minutes. It startspumping up. You start getting a little
jittery. Oh we're going to startgetting like that. Yeah, I mean
I could drive. It works thatI get a little jittery. Yeah,
but like you just want to startworking out. I'm not like that.
(05:01):
You know. Then, you guysnever take a pre workout. I don't
even know what that is so preworkout is it's like four hundred milligrams of
caffeine and it also opens up yourblood vessels, so you get a good
pump on. Why would I everneed that? Oh, you get a
good pump on. I don't workout the fo some have more than that.
Some have and some has fat burnersin them. I don't drink the
(05:23):
ones of fat burns because they makeme get a cold sweat and like my
mouth ors to salivate, and Ihate that feeling. Yeah, I used
to take a when I would workout at home, my abs and Buns
of Steel VHS tape prefre at home. Well, I used to back in
the day, back when, Yeah, when and I do my abs and
Buns of steel, and dude,I felt like I could fucking lift my
(05:43):
entire house over my head. Itpumps you up, like, yeah,
it's basically just a spark plug.It doesn't really do anything else. And
some morons will dry will dry gulshitwhen you're supposed to mix it with water
to dilute it, and they'll givethemselves like a heart attack, like it's
really fucking stupid. Yeah, it'sanywhere good, So I quick yeah,
(06:11):
man, and the pre Let's gothe pre. The pre names are always
insane, like the names of thepre workouts. They're very douchey, like
the one I'm taking right now isb M f H bad motherfucker. I
don't know anything or like you know, or like I don't know. Of
course, I'm drawing a blank ofall the names like steel yeah, or
(06:32):
like you or like get booked orlike you know what I mean, what
it is that doesn't sound like yeah? Like a real one? All right?
So so you're you know, mywife's sitting on the bed and I'm
talking to her. She's patting thedogs. Now to the right of me
(06:53):
is the wall in the window,double pane window, and I'm sitting there
and I'm swinging my water bottle likethis. I do this a lot,
and I don't know why I havea d D. So it's like a
fidget spinner. I'm just talking toher and I'm freaking, you know,
I'm spinning it and she says something. I don't know what we were talking
(07:14):
about, but somehow I go likethis, and like the water bottle slips
out of my hands and it's filled. Up to three pm. Feeling awesome.
What would you say? That isalmost a quarter again? And it
flies out of my hands and ithits the window. And then I hear
and I think Stone calls Steve Austin. Glass breaks and the window just completely
(07:39):
shatters. So you're sitting there talkingto Haley spinning your water ball like a
little kid. Yeah, and wiesout of your hand because I mashes your
window. It just breaks your bedroomwindow. Dumb. And I couldn't.
I couldn't believe it. I'm like, how did that happen? Well,
I could tell you, like Eddiesaid, like a little kid. I
could see my son read doing thatexact same thing him, and I go,
(08:03):
stop doing that. That's gonna flyout of your hands and it's going
to break the window. Right where'syour mommy? Where's your mom to do
that? Yeah, Florida, dude, she would have yelled at me,
what a stupid thing to do.And now I'm like, listen, it
was an accident. I'm not worrying. Yeah, and I'm not worried about
like my landlord or anything. Ijust don't want him in the house.
He's so annoying and nos he soI'm like, I gotta fix this.
(08:26):
Fucking thing. Obviously it's my fall. I'm gonna fix it, and I
just don't want to deal with mylandlord and like not that, Like I
said, not that I care,it's just he's no annoying and the dogs,
so like immediately, I got toclean up all the glass. That
takes a while because it was doubleand then there's glass everywhere. I got
to vacuum it up. We gotanimals, Like, I get the cats.
I'm worried about the cats because thedogs aren't going to go through the
(08:48):
window. But I'm fucking freaking outover the cats. Yeah, you got
Marshall's got a bacterial infections, Kim'sgot a uti Jesus insane right now,
I's wrong over there. So Iuh, so I the screen's bent,
So I take the curtain that wehave and I I I clean everything out.
Then I I'm like, okay,I pop open the window, like
(09:11):
come bring it down towards me,and I'm able to pop it off the
track and take it out and theframe is fine. So I don't need
a whole new window. I justneed a new glass, you know.
So I'm like, Okay, everything'scleaned out, and then I tape the
curtains to the wall across the windowso you can't get out of the window.
This is a horrible that's what youhave. You don't have like cardboard
or something that you can put oncardboard, or like another piece of furniture,
(09:31):
like a bookcase that you could bringover there or something. It's just
well, remember there's a okay,I have to mention this too. There's
there's bars on my windows. Solike, I'm not really that worried about
anybody breaking in. Someone's living inprison, so I'm not worried about people
breaking in. I'm just worried aboutthe cat's getting out. So I tape
(09:54):
the curtain exactly. So I tapethe curtain on the window so the cats
can't get out. That's so stupid. I hate everything about that. On
a rod well, yeah, butputting too much pressure could come on.
No, it's fun. Cats arecrazy. I'm gonna leave right now.
So then I go to home depotand I bring the uh frame frame with
(10:18):
me. You want to see apicture of it now, really I know
what a frame looks like. Well, the glass is still on it.
Okay, Wait, you're traveling aroundshards of glass still attached to the window.
That is so fucking dangerous. It'snot going anywhere. What do you
mean it's not going anywhere? Andyes, a fork won't catch the microwave
(10:39):
on fire. Guy, So Itake it to home depot And remember when
you used to going to home depotand they would have answers and they know
what they're talking about. Yeah,guys, they used to my dad.
I run into these two fucking idiotswho didn't even know where the window aisle
(11:00):
was, and then both of themcome over there to try to help me,
and they're just so confused. Theycalled three different managers and they're looking
at me like I should know,and I'm like, guys, I don't
know what Like, I'm just wondering, what kind of window do you guys?
Do this? Do you guys dothe glass? Did you leave the
window in the car or you brokearound home deepot with the broken by the
way, By the way, they'rethe idiots. It's completely stoked in.
(11:24):
It's compromised. Bro, you're oneof the dumbestans. Really, Oh my
god, So these idiots don't knowhow to help me at all. It's
just like what happened to home Depot. I'm so disappointed in Home Depot.
They did used to have professionals inthe aisles. My dad sold windows and
he worked in the window to partand he could help me out, like
people like fixed this broken glass,the glasses flying out, there's a stick
(11:48):
my head. Yeah, I can'tbe the first person to ever walk in
there with a broken window. Idon't know that. So I leave Home
Depot and I find this guy whojust does glass glass man last man named
Howard, Okay, Howard Glassy,and he wants me to go there today
(12:11):
before eleven with the window with thewindow because he could he could fix it
and then put the new glass on. So I'm going to do that.
But yeah, it's a nightmare.And I leave tomorrow to go somewhere.
So I'm like, I need thisfixed. Maybe don't be such an idiot
next time and swing your water bottlearound your room. Huh. Thanks, Okay,
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