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May 29, 2024 11 mins
On today's P1 Podcast, Eddie talks about Jack's odd birthday request and the accomidations his wife was willing to make to have this birthday wish come true
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(00:00):
Well, today is my son Jack'sbirthday, twelve today, thirteen. Damn
it year, damn it. Iwas hoping to get a job thirteen.
Yeah, well, he asked forsomething very specific for his birthday this year.
Came out of nowhere. Did notthink this was ever going to be

(00:22):
a thing, and didn't really thinkhe was into this. But Jack has
asked for a treadmill this year forhis birthday, which I thought was very
bizarre and I immediately kind of shutit down. But my wife Deborah said,
oh, I think we should getit for him, but where she
wants to put the treadmill was theissue. We ain't done yet. It's

(00:44):
time for the podcast Year completely uncensoredand unacting, filtered except for that part
the show's after show starts. Now. Yeah, so Jack has never really
been that great at running. Sohe when he was young, he was

(01:07):
really good at soccer, but hehated it because of the running, and
like he would you know, hegets like really red cheeks, and he
gets nauseous and all this shit wouldhappen when he was, you know,
a young kid. But he wasreally good at soccer, and I kind
of want him to keep playing becausehe was pretty good, Like he was
the best on his team every year, like for scoring goals and shit.

(01:29):
And he played for like three orfour years, and I was like really
impressed with how good he was.But then he'd come over and be like,
I hate this, I hate runningaround NonStop, and I don't want
to play soccer anymore. I'm like, all right, that's when we started
baseball. And so again, baseballyou're kind of doing spurts. You don't
have to run super a lot oranything like that. So he enjoyed that
a little bit more. And it'slike, okay, well, out of

(01:51):
the blue this year, suddenly theguy enjoys running. And how do I
know that? Because he told meour of the Blue again that him and
a couple of his buddies at schoolhave started a run club just on their
own. And I go, well, what does that mean? What do
you mean he goes before school andI like, at recess we do laps.

(02:13):
Oh man, it's probably sweaty forthe rest of the day with a
very twelve year old thing to do. In about two years, he's knocking
be sweating doing gym in the firstperiod. Well, girls would actually you
know, yeah, that's kind ofgross. Yeah, but he's running and
he's actually gotten in really good shapebecause of it. I've noticed it.
You know. It wasn't like hewas ever overweight by any means, but
you know, he had a littlebit of a gut, you know,

(02:35):
starting to go a little bit.You know. I remember that last summer
while we were swimming and I couldsee him, you know, his body's
changed and stuff like that. Wellnow it's gone. I mean, dude
is like slim down and he looksgreat. And I was like, dude,
good keep running. And I evensaid to him the other day,
I go, you know, nextyear when you start junior high, join
like the cross country team or somethinglike that. Like, you know,
there's different kind of track and fieldthings that you could do. You know

(02:59):
who did cross country? Who?My dad? Oh? Really cross country
runner. I can't imagine your dad. Obviously, obviously this was years ago.
It's hard to vision still talk aboutit like it was yesterday. I
mean, what the fuck do youthink you out? And that's my dad.

(03:23):
So my dad's claimed the fame.Liise. Remember we were talking about
earlier about trophies and you're a loserwhat you were so earlier we were saying,
if you had your trophy, ifyou had trophies from when you were
a kid in your house in yourtwenties, then you were a loser.
But I was saying that, youknow, but because I have those trophies,
I put him in like a storagesomewhere. Yeah. Not my dad.
Really, My dad has a picturefrom the New York news Day is

(03:46):
the big Long Island newspaper. Okay, it's like as big as senne Gus
Tribune out here. So in theseventies, when my dad was in high
school, he was running track andit was was a cross country run and
he was one of the first people. He was the first guy to cross
a certain mark. And because hewas the first person to cross the mark,
news Day took a picture, sohis picture was in the paper.

(04:06):
He has that picture framed, stillhas it in the house today, in
the house. Yeah, by allmy childhood it was in the house and
now it's still in their Florida housetoday. He looks great. But if
I asked, but when growing up, whenever I needed advice years ago,

(04:26):
yeah, whenever I vonger, wheneverI needed advice on running, without asking,
he would tell me. To thisday I'll be like today to this
day, I'll say, yeah,my feet hurt when I run. I
tried to. I got to stretcha lot. He'll give me advice on
shoes because he ran fifty years becausehe ran fifty years ago, he ran
cross country. So my point is, if Jack needs advice because he hit

(04:54):
that first he hit that first markon the creek in Brentwood, New York.
Huge Stunn, Yes, amazing.Well, yeah, we'll see what
happened with Jack and running. Buthe did ask for his birthday for a
treadmill because he enjoys running. That'sit was very random and odd. I'm

(05:15):
like, why I go If youreally want to run, just go outside.
You can run to wherever you want. I don't give Shiitur even knows
what a treadmill is too, Like, I don't know. I feel like
that's an old thing. See,my daughter requested a treadmill a little while
ago because she had gone to noshe had gone to the y m c
A. And then she went ona treadmill for the first time, and
all of her friends told her thatshe runs weird and she doesn't know what

(05:40):
to do with her arms, andso she really wanted us to buy her
a treadmill so she could figure outhow to not run weird. That's why
you're going to get a treadmill,And I said, I said the exact
same thing, Eddie, I gorun, That's why I said. I
said, you could go outside thefront door and just run and work out
in front of people. Yeah.Yeah, we're just running place in a
mirror. Yeah, was it alane that ran weird? Like, didn't

(06:02):
move around something? Phoebe, that'sa lad, Yeah, Phoebe. Phoebe.
My wife runs like feet because Phoebeshe doesn't move she she doesn't.
Yeah, she runs, that's howmy wife. Wow. Yeah, so
I I said a strong no tothe treadmill, but ours was for a
different reason, not because she actuallyenjoyed running. Well, yeah, I

(06:23):
don't understand this treadmill. Yeah,but apparently my wife was all about it.
Oh, she keeps me and shegoes So what do you think,
you know? Should we get hima treadmill for his birthday? Treadmill?
Well, what happens in like,yeah, ten minutes when he decides I
don't like. Also, he's notlike massively obese, No, like he's

(06:44):
in shape kid and We have apeloton too, So I mean you really
want to work out ride the bike. Yeah, it's more about he enjoys
runnunning. So okay, that's fine. You can go run wherever you want.
We don't need a treadmill. It'sgoing to gather dust. I've seen
this before, like you know,I mean, everybody has a tread mill
doesn't really use it. Yes,I mean Emily is a perfect example.
Right now she started working. Yeah, that was before the treadmill, was

(07:09):
before that fit out. He's beenaround for a while. It has been
around for a long time. AndI thought I had this grand plan that
I was going to put my phoneon and I was going to watch TV,
and I was going to make thetime go by, and I was
gonna either lightly jog or power walk, and I was going to do this
every afternoon. I can't imagine Emilyrunning. Well, remember we saw the
race. She lost the sky.You race unbelievable, that's crazy. I

(07:31):
can't imagine losing the sky. Istill can't believe it. Okay, Okay,
I can win it. That's alittle okay, yes, fair enough.
So, yes, treadmills, Ijust feel like they're the biggest waste
of money, the space, wasteof time. But my wife, of
course goes, what do you think? Oh? And I look at her

(07:51):
and I give her this stink look. That's why I go, where's it
going to go? If we geta treadmill, where's it going to go?
Her thoughts on where the treadmill willgo in my house are fucking insane.
So the first place she decides,she goes, well, we could
put it right in the front room. So literally, in my we have

(08:11):
the area walking through the front doorand there is like a living room,
family room space you want to puta fucking treadmill. So when people come
over, the first thing they seeis going to be a treadmill. And
that's like an eye catching space asa house nerd. There's like big windows
and a beautiful, big fireplace.It's like she wants the treadmill room into

(08:37):
your house? Are your mind andyou can watch a jack run on the
really enjoying. Plus, what's wheremy Christmas tree goes? What is there
any other running things that he wants? Is he want like new running shoes?
The only thing he asked for?Very So then I go, okay,

(09:01):
well that's not that's a giant.No, yes, no way,
am I putting a treadmill on thatfront room? She goes, huh okay,
well what about the garage? Igo, oh, wait a minute,
there's two massive problems with that.Number One, when it's hot,
it's a ga billion degrees in there, the kid will die like that's insane.
And number two where Yeah have youseen my wife is a giant hoarder.

(09:24):
There is no space in my garage. I can't park my car.
I've never been o park my car. Yeah, since the day we moved
in, she has just piled shipin there and it's still still in there.
And I every year I go throughthe same thing. Hey do you
think you can get rid of someof this stuff? Oh? Yeah,
yeah, yeah, no problem.Nothing ever happened, Nothing ever happens.
It's always it's giant crap, bagsof crap and whatever. And I go,

(09:46):
where are you gonna put it inthere? Yeah? You're actually gonna
have to move her ship. Ifshe found a spot for it in there,
you guys would lose Jack forever,Like you would end up on some
weird fucking documentary because the garage,Oh stupid, have you thought about putting
is there? Any room in hisroom to put it. No, no,
he's got a pretty small takes upmost of the space. Kids are

(10:09):
so weird, man, because that'ssuch an odd thing. But I'm sure
I went through a phase where Iwant something really weird and I loved it,
like a treadmill. I just wouldn'tyou want like a video more video
games? He's asked for that stuff. I mean that's like out of the
blue, he wants a treadmill.Okay, not gonna happen. Do we
have another option? So then shegoes, okay, well we can't put

(10:31):
it in your game room? Ohmy god, what do you love that?
Just the sound? You do havethe room? Okay, there is
there is space, But isn't therealreadyn exercise bike in there? That's gone
because we got the peloton, sothat things go. I'm not putting a
treadmill a little gym. Yeah,watch a peloton. You get treadmill,

(10:56):
you get some weights. No no, no, no, the whole family
I watched. No no, no, no, you can be playing video
games that could be working out.No no, no, no, no,
no no no no. It clasheswith all my Star Wars stuff.
I don't want you could put StarWars stickers on it. I'm not helping
me, dude, No way,no how. The fucking treadmill in my
game room never gonna happen, Okay, So I don't know. I don't

(11:20):
know what's gonna happen. So he'sjust gonna have to run. Like idea,
I think slaps of Star Wars stickerson that back.
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