June 13, 2024 • 16 mins
On today's P1 Podcast, Eddie tells us about his daughter being asked on her first date.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, I knew this day wascoming, and I thought I was ready
for it. But I'm not.I don't think anybody can be. When
my daughter got asked out on herfirst date. We ain't done yet.
It's time for the one podcast overa year, completely uncensored and uncting,
(00:23):
filtered except for that part the party. The show's after show starts. Now.
Well, it is so hard towrap my head around. But my
daughter will be fifteen next month,so think about fifteen. Oh yeah,
so she's she's a young for hergrade. Then right, yeah, because
(00:46):
she's going in she's going to sophomore. So sophomore because I was fifteen going
into my sophomore year. Yeah,so she was born in the summer.
My daughter was born in November,so my daughter's oldest and then she's yeah,
yeah, okay, So it's it'sjust weird to think about. When
I was fourteen, fifteen, Iwas trying to you know, I had
(01:07):
the first my fond up with girls. My first high school love was grade
You were in love? I love, Rachel Fisher to Jews. Rachel,
did you think you'd be together forever? Uh? Duh? We did?
For our three month anniversary, Idid so I remember doing candles in my
(01:34):
basement and getting chicken parmesan for her. You are you serious? That is
incredible. It was incredible. Iwas fifteen, I know, but like
I never was treated that way bylike a dude, even my boyfriend.
Girl, I'm a nice guy becauseit because a romantic. Yeah, gentleman's
(01:57):
kind of nerdy, to be honest, you know when the nerdy the first
finger bang, I did candless fingerbags work these too. He was the
chicken parm but whatever. Yeah.Yeah, I remember getting like a little
(02:23):
necklace for my first girlfriend, thingslike that that. No, I remember
getting like little bracelets or necklaces.Like they would go on vacation with their
family the summer. You would thinklike, like the jewelryes is the top.
Yeah, you know, I wouldsteal fifteen dollars. I would steal
it from my sister's jewelry clutch.You need to stop admitting stop it.
(02:43):
I remember this on the grocery grosserthan the chicken parm Yeah, that was
a really sweet thing that I did. Anniversary. We were in ninth grade.
Come on, kid, Anthony gavemy friend Gina this ring and it
turned out it was a diamond ring, and it was his mom's one of
(03:04):
most moms ring. Like the dadgave a further anniversary, had to get
it back. That's humillions insane.So yeah, I remember all these times,
so it's not that weird. Andthen what really makes me fucked up
in my head is thinking, what'sthe age that Sky lost her virginity?
Like ten? No, fifteen?Like how gross is what? That doesn't
(03:28):
make honesty ever since? Then you'vegone the opposite direction. Not a true
skank. Again, I was theyoungest one in my grade, so I
was anything. I was a junior. I was a junior at the time.
You were junior fifteen? Are youso yeah, no, there's no
way you left back? No,no not were you opposite? Yeah no,
(03:52):
no, no, no, nofifteen And then I turned sixteen my
junior year. I graduated from highschool when I was seventeen. I wasn't
even eighteen yet. When I graduatedfrom high school, I was seventeen.
So yeah, so I it wasthe It was the I lost my flower
the summer going into my junior yearwith my boyfriend. We had been together
for I don't know, maybe aboutsix months at the time. Did you
(04:13):
chicken parm. I didn't get chickenfarm, nor did I get candles.
And then this happened. You guysall remember my gangbanger face, right,
yeah, finger bang? What Iwas doing? Fifteen again? And I
was actually now my friends were alla bit older than me, because again
I was the youngest one in thegrade. But I was the last one
out of all my friends to havesome. Really, so you were with
(04:33):
a bunch of well, I mean, I did I feel pressure to a
zillion person? Are you smoking cigarettestoo? Yeah? You did? Well?
Yeah? Because again horrible, Idon't I just can't picture Sky smoking
cigarette. So I don't even thinkI actually inhaled, you know. But
Scott, yes, exactly, skystick, yeah smoking it? Get out,
(04:58):
Yeah, let's get out of here. Bro. He's got a small
dick. Bro. It's like thesing yeah, this thing is about to
be done, so yeah, herewe go. Yo. That's a lot
to think about it. And wereopposite. You want us to share more
(05:18):
stories rather than not. Okay,if I hear my daughter is going to
have chicken parm, it's over.Okay, stop yesterday? How does this
go down? I need to knoweverything. I get home from baseball practice
and my wife has like a giddyattitude to tell you. And I'm like,
(05:44):
I've been hearing a lot of likestupid mom drama this whole week because
of like volunteering and stuff like that, and I'm just like, God,
just shoot me. I've had along day. I don't need this crap.
Please don't do this too. Whatwas worse? To be honest with
you, she tells me that mydaughter has been asked out on her first
date, and I went, Ican't register what is being said, Like,
(06:09):
what the fuck are you talking about? Now? She's gone to a
couple of like school dances and promsand things like that, but it's always
a group of friends. And Idon't think she's danced with a boy yet.
I mean I've asked her and shesaid, no, you we all
dance together and you know so,and I think she'd tell me, so
I don't know. Although I dothreaten to always show up and be like
(06:29):
a chaperone dad, they don't havechafferons anymore. I don't care. I'll
go. Maybe I'll show up asa student. Derek Derek Derek schools into
music. Hey man, why doyou have a full beer? It's great
(06:53):
anyway, So I don't understand what'sbeing said, Like what are you talking
about? How does she get askedout on who's this boy school? Who's
done for? So I'm like whatwhat? So? Yesterday was my son's
(07:15):
what is it? Sixth grade?He's leaving sixth grade going into seventh grade?
Is sixth grade promotion or seventh gradepromotion? I think he's going into
seventh grade. Sixth grade, sixthgrade promotion. It doesn't make sense.
You're being promoted to sixth grade graduation, but it's not a graduation. We
would go in to moving up ceremony. That's not weird. I mean I
(07:41):
didn't just you made that up inelementary. That's what. No chi so
yesterday. There was no podcast yesterdaybecause I had to bolt out of here
to get to this promotion. Butwhatever, Uh so I get there.
You know, they give them theirdiplomas or guests. I don't even know
what it is. It's so pointless, but whatever, I do my duty
(08:03):
as as parents. I show up, you do his thing whatever. By
the way, there is such adifference of what people how seriously, some
people take this and don't like therewas they made kids fully dressed up in
like a suit. Oh yeah,well that's insane. Or kid who just
wore what he wore to school,that normal day shirt. Some people the
(08:24):
same with parents, So parents therewas there's dad's. There was button downs
and whatever. You remember what Iwas wearing yesterday. I was wearing a
millennium falcon. What you have?I showed up like that. You have
parents are just like this is ridiculous, and then you have and then you
have parents taking take it a littleseriously. You wear sky that I'm looking
(08:45):
at it right now, do you? She probably wore like her coal's top
with the jewelry attached to it werefancier than that. I wore one of
the dresses that I wear to likewhen we win an award as a show,
the like short green one. Ithink when we got the reward,
(09:07):
she's got like three dress exactly.It's one of the three heels. I
was considering it, but it wereher nice flip flops. Yes, I
wore. I wore my lifted flipflops, so kind of like heels.
So anyway, we get through thewhole promotion thing. It's fine. My
daughter, since she's off, shevolunteered to help because my wife is was
(09:30):
setting up and doing all that stuff, by the way, took it a
little too seriously, seriously tetting aroundacting like she was running the school.
She had a set of keys.I go, I go, where did
you get those? And I go, why do you have keys? She
(09:52):
was walking around power walk and lookinglike she was a superintendent, and I
go, you're not in charge.Did she sees somebody and be He's not
supposed to be there. There wasreserved seating for the kids, so if
a parent tried to sit there,like, he's get that crazy. So
(10:16):
that was that was annoying. Andand so my daughter was there at the
ceremony and she was helping out doingstuff, and I didn't wasn't really paying
attention to anything else. So whenI get home, they my wife is
telling me what happened. Well,I guess she ran into one of her
old classmates who used to go tothat school with her. And now his
(10:37):
little sister is in the same gradeas my son. So they they went
to school together. Now his littlesister, but he goes to a different
high school. Now now he's inhigh school. This is only elementary school.
Okay, so different school, andso they reconnected chatting it up.
I get you don't need to say, oh, hello, Okay. I
(11:01):
immediately went to like a rom calmsitch, you know what I mean.
Fourteen, she's gonna they're gonna ripa dollar bill in half. Stuff.
Okay, okay, sorry. Iwas kind of excited, like I'm getting
now. And so my wife goes, oh, you remember this boy he
(11:22):
did bah And I'm like, what, I don't know what you're even talking
about. Remember he used to drawTaylor little pictures. He always first grade.
Yeah, I don't even know whattotally I remember, yes, whatever.
So yeah, apparently this kid hasalways had a little crush on Taylor.
Well, now they're both grown andthey were chatting it up. Well,
(11:43):
this kid then after the day goeson. It didn't happen at the
school. He they guessed they goteach other's phone numbers. Well, they
were chatting up and this kid sendsher text and to his credit, it
was pretty legit. Really. Thekid says, hey, I probably should
(12:03):
have asked you this while we wereat the school, but I would love
to reconnect and go take you tolunch sometime and talk about whatever. Yeah
wow lunch. Wow, it's notchicken palm. No, thank god,
you know what happened? Months okay, three months? Sorry, okay saying
(12:26):
that? Oh my god. Andso Deborah's telling me this is what he
said, and I said, well, what did Taylor respond? And she
goes nothing yet she you know,asked me what I thought. And then
I said, well, let metalk to your dad about it. Blah
blah blah. Oh, and Iwent, holy shit, I go,
Deborah, do you know what thisguy is going through right now? What
(12:48):
did the text come through? Hesaid, I don't know this afternoon.
I go, holy shit, it'snot like seven o'clock at night. So
she didn't respond, like, hey, I got to look into it.
Nothing. Just now I no longercare about my daughter. All I care
about is this kid because I've beenthere, man, were you? You're
putting everything out there. This isprobably his first date too, and so
(13:11):
I'm like, this kid is probablyshipping bricks, right yeah, And that's
all I can think about. NumberOne, respect the text. I thought
I was pretty legit and it wasa nice respectful way to ask out a
girl. You know. He wasn'tlike a creepyzoid about it. And I
saw the kid, which is crazybecause I even saw this kid when I
was leaving and I saw this kidand I went, oh, he doesn't
(13:33):
go to the school. What's goingon here? And so I know what
he looks like? Yeah, kindof hunky. Respect, So you're so
you're excited about him? Respect?It was some ugly kid. I'm like,
like, what are you doing?Yeah? My dad would tell me
if I was dating ugly chick,excuse me, my dad would tell me,
I don't know what you mean.That doesn't make any sense. He's
(13:54):
a school counselor. And how muchsay that. It wouldn't be so much
what he said as how his facialexpressions, He's like still dating her,
huh. And then after the facthe'd be like, listen, you made
the right choice in his life.Better heads on beer? Was he school
(14:15):
counselor? Looks crazy? It iscrazy? So you know who this kid
kind of looks like is Emily's oldcrust. What was that kid's named?
Jonathan Brandmeier? Jonathan brand Brand LadyBugs. Yeah, a couple of hopefully
only looks like what happened? Doessomething happened? Oh? No? Oh?
(14:39):
Yeah? About the tiger beat kid, but on the wrong path,
he reminded me of that like hairstyle, you know, the partners that it
is, Yeah, prospect. Butnow all I could think about is what
is this poor kid going? Yeahthat sucks because now you're just like because
(15:01):
now if I'm him, because I'vebeen in this situation, I'm like,
did my text go through? Youstart thinking did it not go through?
Did she not see it? She'slike, caugh, I text again,
asking your friends, your parents.She can go through the whole thing of
like she hates me, Like Ifucking fun up? Yeah blocked? Now
like what an asshole? Like you'reyou're going through it as a dude right
(15:24):
now. And so I got veryupset and I'm like, death, bra,
what the fuck man this poor kidis? And she's like, why
do you care about the kid?I go, well I do. I've
been there, Like it's awful.And so I said, you tell her
to write him back right now andtell tell him yes, She's going I
feel I feel for this bro.I'm like, I'm hanging out with this
(15:52):
guy. I don't think you shouldhang that's weird. Will you show up
at the date at some point itor like will you like if he comes
to pick her up like his parents. But if the parents had come here
or you want to meet him?Oh yeah, so you like shake his
hand, give him the once over? Are you kid? Look at me?
Dude, I'm a big dude.You got you Take one look at
(16:17):
me and I mean mug you.Damn you ain't insert no chicken parme.
Well, I knew this day wascoming, and I thought I was ready
for it. But I'm not.I don't think anybody can be. When
my daughter got asked out on herfirst date. We ain't done yet.
It's time for the one podcast overa year, completely uncensored and uncting,
(00:23):
filtered except for that part the party. The show's after show starts. Now.
Well, it is so hard towrap my head around. But my
daughter will be fifteen next month,so think about fifteen. Oh yeah,
so she's she's a young for hergrade. Then right, yeah, because
(00:46):
she's going in she's going to sophomore. So sophomore because I was fifteen going
into my sophomore year. Yeah,so she was born in the summer.
My daughter was born in November,so my daughter's oldest and then she's yeah,
yeah, okay, So it's it'sjust weird to think about. When
I was fourteen, fifteen, Iwas trying to you know, I had
(01:07):
the first my fond up with girls. My first high school love was grade
You were in love? I love, Rachel Fisher to Jews. Rachel,
did you think you'd be together forever? Uh? Duh? We did?
For our three month anniversary, Idid so I remember doing candles in my
(01:34):
basement and getting chicken parmesan for her. You are you serious? That is
incredible. It was incredible. Iwas fifteen, I know, but like
I never was treated that way bylike a dude, even my boyfriend.
Girl, I'm a nice guy becauseit because a romantic. Yeah, gentleman's
(01:57):
kind of nerdy, to be honest, you know when the nerdy the first
finger bang, I did candless fingerbags work these too. He was the
chicken parm but whatever. Yeah.Yeah, I remember getting like a little
(02:23):
necklace for my first girlfriend, thingslike that that. No, I remember
getting like little bracelets or necklaces.Like they would go on vacation with their
family the summer. You would thinklike, like the jewelryes is the top.
Yeah, you know, I wouldsteal fifteen dollars. I would steal
it from my sister's jewelry clutch.You need to stop admitting stop it.
(02:43):
I remember this on the grocery grosserthan the chicken parm Yeah, that was
a really sweet thing that I did. Anniversary. We were in ninth grade.
Come on, kid, Anthony gavemy friend Gina this ring and it
turned out it was a diamond ring, and it was his mom's one of
(03:04):
most moms ring. Like the dadgave a further anniversary, had to get
it back. That's humillions insane.So yeah, I remember all these times,
so it's not that weird. Andthen what really makes me fucked up
in my head is thinking, what'sthe age that Sky lost her virginity?
Like ten? No, fifteen?Like how gross is what? That doesn't
(03:28):
make honesty ever since? Then you'vegone the opposite direction. Not a true
skank. Again, I was theyoungest one in my grade, so I
was anything. I was a junior. I was a junior at the time.
You were junior fifteen? Are youso yeah, no, there's no
way you left back? No,no not were you opposite? Yeah no,
(03:52):
no, no, no, nofifteen And then I turned sixteen my
junior year. I graduated from highschool when I was seventeen. I wasn't
even eighteen yet. When I graduatedfrom high school, I was seventeen.
So yeah, so I it wasthe It was the I lost my flower
the summer going into my junior yearwith my boyfriend. We had been together
for I don't know, maybe aboutsix months at the time. Did you
(04:13):
chicken parm. I didn't get chickenfarm, nor did I get candles.
And then this happened. You guysall remember my gangbanger face, right,
yeah, finger bang? What Iwas doing? Fifteen again? And I
was actually now my friends were alla bit older than me, because again
I was the youngest one in thegrade. But I was the last one
out of all my friends to havesome. Really, so you were with
(04:33):
a bunch of well, I mean, I did I feel pressure to a
zillion person? Are you smoking cigarettestoo? Yeah? You did? Well?
Yeah? Because again horrible, Idon't I just can't picture Sky smoking
cigarette. So I don't even thinkI actually inhaled, you know. But
Scott, yes, exactly, skystick, yeah smoking it? Get out,
(04:58):
Yeah, let's get out of here. Bro. He's got a small
dick. Bro. It's like thesing yeah, this thing is about to
be done, so yeah, herewe go. Yo. That's a lot
to think about it. And wereopposite. You want us to share more
(05:18):
stories rather than not. Okay,if I hear my daughter is going to
have chicken parm, it's over.Okay, stop yesterday? How does this
go down? I need to knoweverything. I get home from baseball practice
and my wife has like a giddyattitude to tell you. And I'm like,
(05:44):
I've been hearing a lot of likestupid mom drama this whole week because
of like volunteering and stuff like that, and I'm just like, God,
just shoot me. I've had along day. I don't need this crap.
Please don't do this too. Whatwas worse? To be honest with
you, she tells me that mydaughter has been asked out on her first
date, and I went, Ican't register what is being said, Like,
(06:09):
what the fuck are you talking about? Now? She's gone to a
couple of like school dances and promsand things like that, but it's always
a group of friends. And Idon't think she's danced with a boy yet.
I mean I've asked her and shesaid, no, you we all
dance together and you know so,and I think she'd tell me, so
I don't know. Although I dothreaten to always show up and be like
(06:29):
a chaperone dad, they don't havechafferons anymore. I don't care. I'll
go. Maybe I'll show up asa student. Derek Derek Derek schools into
music. Hey man, why doyou have a full beer? It's great
(06:53):
anyway, So I don't understand what'sbeing said, Like what are you talking
about? How does she get askedout on who's this boy school? Who's
done for? So I'm like whatwhat? So? Yesterday was my son's
(07:15):
what is it? Sixth grade?He's leaving sixth grade going into seventh grade?
Is sixth grade promotion or seventh gradepromotion? I think he's going into
seventh grade. Sixth grade, sixthgrade promotion. It doesn't make sense.
You're being promoted to sixth grade graduation, but it's not a graduation. We
would go in to moving up ceremony. That's not weird. I mean I
(07:41):
didn't just you made that up inelementary. That's what. No chi so
yesterday. There was no podcast yesterdaybecause I had to bolt out of here
to get to this promotion. Butwhatever, Uh so I get there.
You know, they give them theirdiplomas or guests. I don't even know
what it is. It's so pointless, but whatever, I do my duty
(08:03):
as as parents. I show up, you do his thing whatever. By
the way, there is such adifference of what people how seriously, some
people take this and don't like therewas they made kids fully dressed up in
like a suit. Oh yeah,well that's insane. Or kid who just
wore what he wore to school,that normal day shirt. Some people the
(08:24):
same with parents, So parents therewas there's dad's. There was button downs
and whatever. You remember what Iwas wearing yesterday. I was wearing a
millennium falcon. What you have?I showed up like that. You have
parents are just like this is ridiculous, and then you have and then you
have parents taking take it a littleseriously. You wear sky that I'm looking
(08:45):
at it right now, do you? She probably wore like her coal's top
with the jewelry attached to it werefancier than that. I wore one of
the dresses that I wear to likewhen we win an award as a show,
the like short green one. Ithink when we got the reward,
(09:07):
she's got like three dress exactly.It's one of the three heels. I
was considering it, but it wereher nice flip flops. Yes, I
wore. I wore my lifted flipflops, so kind of like heels.
So anyway, we get through thewhole promotion thing. It's fine. My
daughter, since she's off, shevolunteered to help because my wife is was
(09:30):
setting up and doing all that stuff, by the way, took it a
little too seriously, seriously tetting aroundacting like she was running the school.
She had a set of keys.I go, I go, where did
you get those? And I go, why do you have keys? She
(09:52):
was walking around power walk and lookinglike she was a superintendent, and I
go, you're not in charge.Did she sees somebody and be He's not
supposed to be there. There wasreserved seating for the kids, so if
a parent tried to sit there,like, he's get that crazy. So
(10:16):
that was that was annoying. Andand so my daughter was there at the
ceremony and she was helping out doingstuff, and I didn't wasn't really paying
attention to anything else. So whenI get home, they my wife is
telling me what happened. Well,I guess she ran into one of her
old classmates who used to go tothat school with her. And now his
(10:37):
little sister is in the same gradeas my son. So they they went
to school together. Now his littlesister, but he goes to a different
high school. Now now he's inhigh school. This is only elementary school.
Okay, so different school, andso they reconnected chatting it up.
I get you don't need to say, oh, hello, Okay. I
(11:01):
immediately went to like a rom calmsitch, you know what I mean.
Fourteen, she's gonna they're gonna ripa dollar bill in half. Stuff.
Okay, okay, sorry. Iwas kind of excited, like I'm getting
now. And so my wife goes, oh, you remember this boy he
(11:22):
did bah And I'm like, what, I don't know what you're even talking
about. Remember he used to drawTaylor little pictures. He always first grade.
Yeah, I don't even know whattotally I remember, yes, whatever.
So yeah, apparently this kid hasalways had a little crush on Taylor.
Well, now they're both grown andthey were chatting it up. Well,
(11:43):
this kid then after the day goeson. It didn't happen at the
school. He they guessed they goteach other's phone numbers. Well, they
were chatting up and this kid sendsher text and to his credit, it
was pretty legit. Really. Thekid says, hey, I probably should
(12:03):
have asked you this while we wereat the school, but I would love
to reconnect and go take you tolunch sometime and talk about whatever. Yeah
wow lunch. Wow, it's notchicken palm. No, thank god,
you know what happened? Months okay, three months? Sorry, okay saying
(12:26):
that? Oh my god. Andso Deborah's telling me this is what he
said, and I said, well, what did Taylor respond? And she
goes nothing yet she you know,asked me what I thought. And then
I said, well, let metalk to your dad about it. Blah
blah blah. Oh, and Iwent, holy shit, I go,
Deborah, do you know what thisguy is going through right now? What
(12:48):
did the text come through? Hesaid, I don't know this afternoon.
I go, holy shit, it'snot like seven o'clock at night. So
she didn't respond, like, hey, I got to look into it.
Nothing. Just now I no longercare about my daughter. All I care
about is this kid because I've beenthere, man, were you? You're
putting everything out there. This isprobably his first date too, and so
(13:11):
I'm like, this kid is probablyshipping bricks, right yeah, And that's
all I can think about. NumberOne, respect the text. I thought
I was pretty legit and it wasa nice respectful way to ask out a
girl. You know. He wasn'tlike a creepyzoid about it. And I
saw the kid, which is crazybecause I even saw this kid when I
was leaving and I saw this kidand I went, oh, he doesn't
(13:33):
go to the school. What's goingon here? And so I know what
he looks like? Yeah, kindof hunky. Respect, So you're so
you're excited about him? Respect?It was some ugly kid. I'm like,
like, what are you doing?Yeah? My dad would tell me
if I was dating ugly chick,excuse me, my dad would tell me,
I don't know what you mean.That doesn't make any sense. He's
(13:54):
a school counselor. And how muchsay that. It wouldn't be so much
what he said as how his facialexpressions, He's like still dating her,
huh. And then after the facthe'd be like, listen, you made
the right choice in his life.Better heads on beer? Was he school
(14:15):
counselor? Looks crazy? It iscrazy? So you know who this kid
kind of looks like is Emily's oldcrust. What was that kid's named?
Jonathan Brandmeier? Jonathan brand Brand LadyBugs. Yeah, a couple of hopefully
only looks like what happened? Doessomething happened? Oh? No? Oh?
(14:39):
Yeah? About the tiger beat kid, but on the wrong path,
he reminded me of that like hairstyle, you know, the partners that it
is, Yeah, prospect. Butnow all I could think about is what
is this poor kid going? Yeahthat sucks because now you're just like because
(15:01):
now if I'm him, because I'vebeen in this situation, I'm like,
did my text go through? Youstart thinking did it not go through?
Did she not see it? She'slike, caugh, I text again,
asking your friends, your parents.She can go through the whole thing of
like she hates me, Like Ifucking fun up? Yeah blocked? Now
like what an asshole? Like you'reyou're going through it as a dude right
(15:24):
now. And so I got veryupset and I'm like, death, bra,
what the fuck man this poor kidis? And she's like, why
do you care about the kid?I go, well I do. I've
been there, Like it's awful.And so I said, you tell her
to write him back right now andtell tell him yes, She's going I
feel I feel for this bro.I'm like, I'm hanging out with this
(15:52):
guy. I don't think you shouldhang that's weird. Will you show up
at the date at some point itor like will you like if he comes
to pick her up like his parents. But if the parents had come here
or you want to meet him?Oh yeah, so you like shake his
hand, give him the once over? Are you kid? Look at me?
Dude, I'm a big dude.You got you Take one look at
(16:17):
me and I mean mug you.Damn you ain't insert no chicken parme.
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