October 29, 2024 • 18 mins
On today's P1 Podcast, Eddie tells us about last night's dinner and how everything went wrong
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Have you ever had a night, or just a day
or whatever where your partner spouse just annoys the piss
out of you, Like literally everything they do one after another,
you can't relate, not at all. Literally. Last night it
was a string of events where one thing after another,
(00:21):
my wife was driving me fucking nuts. We ain't done yet.
It's time for the one podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
A year, completely uncensored and unacting filtered except for that part.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
The show's after show starts now. Man, it was one
of those nights. Oh yeah, it was not good where a.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Lot of drama happens in our house. Oh dinner, when
like my husband tries to give me his two cents.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
He doesn't cook, no like I do.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I do all the cooking, and then he'll just like,
sniper is fucking way And next thing I know, he's
standing next to me at the stove and it'll be
like pepper that.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
I get the fuck away?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Shepher that.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I mean, the pepper grinder's right fucking next to me.
What do you think it's there for?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I know nothing about cooking. I mean, like obviously I'm
not a cook. I don't like cooking. Sometimes I'd rather
not eat than cook myself.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It was one of the best things to happen to you,
that you married a cook and she's awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yesterday she made me the best damp and she's like,
I love feeding you.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
It was pretty great.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
I know. I gotta be careful though.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
But one the first time we lived together, she made
something and I saw her using a lot of seasoning,
and I know nothing about cooking, so.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
I go, aren't you using a little too much seasoning? Dude?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Not smart guys?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
So from that was seven years ago, do you get
your head back?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, and she'll still she'll still bring up remember that
one time you said that to me, Like I'm a
fucking moron.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
It was seven years ago.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
I mean, how insane is it? Could you imagine walking
up to Gore and Ramsey and being like, oh, a
little bit too ussault there on Gordon? Yeah, I mean
you know, I mean it's like that's the level.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
But that's my point. Like, so that was it. I've
remember saying anything since ever.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I don't believe there's there's That's like the only thing
where I really don't.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
You gotta be careful because.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
She gets so mad at me.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
But so it's crazy that the boo continuously does this,
and it's like.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
A fucking sniper move where he just strolls out of nowhere,
like I don't even realize he's home. And the next
thing you know, he's standing next to me asking me
if I greased the pan before I put the meat
in it. And I'm like, well, you don't see it sticking,
do you?
Speaker 4 (02:34):
I mean, I think.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
We're about spaghetti you were making the other day.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Oh that son of a bitch, I forgot that.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
You ever just look at him and want to punch
him in the face.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Yes, okay, Yeah, So I'm because, as you know, I
cater to my family, so I make things different ways
for everybody. So I got like talk about it in
san I got like two meals going on, right, and
he jumps in because he decides he wants to be
the state guy. So I'm doing everything besides the steak,
and I put the spaghetti in the boiling pot of water,
(03:05):
and as I do that, and and I won't break
the spaghetti.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I don't. I don't.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I learned. I used to, of course break it, until
I learned that that was horrible and so and at
that moment I put it in. He asked me a
question about like a recipe. So I go over to
look at the recipe real quick, and the second I
turned my back to the spaghetti, he goes, oh, are
you only planning on half cooking the spaghetti.
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Yeah, I'm gonna let it stands half of its.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Spaghetti. Knows that that's what happens until it like, you
get a little and you pu, that's crazy.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
It's impossible. We don't crack it and then put it in.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
We just said you can't break Italian. That's the most
ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Yeah, yeah, and so and you know me, you I
never I never say anything. I don't I don't you know,
I don't. I don't confront things. But I looked at
him and I go, is that a real fucking question?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
I go, do you Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, I go, yeah, I go, do you really think
my plan here was to half cook the spaghetti?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Weird plan?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
And then I just and then I just stared at him,
and then he starts to panic, and he goes, well,
I thought, maybe you and lovely we're going to do
an art project in the middle of cooking dinner.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I'm half cooking.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
I saw you, and yeah, terrible answer.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
So his credit though you guys do a lot of
weird art.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
We do, we do, but I mean, I'm in the
middle of cooking dinner. So anyway, when you brought up
the kitchen, that's a little bit.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Of a hot spot for me in the boot. Deborah
does not do any of that with me because I
taught her how to cook, so she knows she's not
going to come in and sniper comment or you know,
question anything I'm doing. I don't think Robert would do
that either.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
Right, No, Well, he just gets in my way when
I'm cooking, and he'll like be scrounged around for a
snack because he's starving, and then he starts rushing me
to make dinner ready.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
And sometimes I'll be cooking and Devor decides that's the
time she's gonna put dishes away. Yes, And I'm like,
what the fuck you had all day? Like, now you're
gonna do it when I'm in the kitchen.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
Yeah, yeah, So he does never really tell me. Sometimes
he will comment on comment on salts and stuff, because
Robert doesn't.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Like any salts.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
He doesn't care.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Well, that's one thing I.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Don't say too, The only thing, the only one thing
is said and she'll still fucking do it. I'm like, hey,
I don't like any spice, none, and she'll I don't
give a fuck, do you know what? You know, what
else I have to eat after all that food because
I get so much fucking heartburn, And she'll go, I
barely put any in there every time? How about don't
(05:45):
put any don't put any?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Oh god, we got a lovely situation over here. Coxcep
meals from just anyway. I have nothing to do with that.
Speaker 5 (05:56):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
So I had a busy weekend this past weekend where
I didn't get to do my normal grocery shopping trip.
It's a nightmare. I okay, I really gotta.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Haley sending me to the grocery stores. I call her
like six times. I don't know where anything is.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
But I mean, okay, but I understand what Hailey's talking about,
because literally, we have a list. We have a running
grocery list all week long, and then we go grocery
shopping on the weekend. I didn't have a chance this weekend,
and so there's a list there. It's not that fucking top,
you know. And she's this check who brings a pen
with her to cross very efficient Listen, do I need that? No?
(06:38):
But she does.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Okay, that time, Haley sent me a screenshot of the
list you made, but I didn't press on it. I
kept it in the text thread, so I missed like fourth.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Stupid proof.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
I mean, how is that stupid? I didn't know it
was all on the list?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Okay, anyway, so she comes home, puts down the old
list and I look at it and there's like seven
things not crossed out. But you can't it's on the list.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
You can't leave until understand.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I guess, honestly, I guess that's what happened, because I'm serious.
I've never gone the grocery store. I've never not once
ever gone to the grocery store and not got everything
on the list. Even if they're out of something, I'll
go to a different store and get it. I mean,
it's not that top.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
Are you asking for exotic things on the.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
On the list?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Are you getting so complicated?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I mean, fucking bananas? Of the things I don't remember
what There was a couple of things. I'm trying to
remember what was on it. I don't remember one. But
I was like, it's not that hard to find that.
Don't like you just pick and choose the life. Man,
you gotta get life on the list. So yeah, that
that immediately annoyed. And so then I realized, okay, well
(07:58):
we're making spaghetti for dinner. I am going to cook both.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Plan on cooking both.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Okay, So I I knew on the list was lettuce.
We want to make a little, nice little sight salad,
nice lee, And I said, you got lettus, right, yep,
I got lettuce. She goes, in fact, I got the
spring mix because I know you like the spring mix.
And I go, okay, you know, I mean it wasn't
what I would buy, but you know, because I like
to double up. If you get regular like leaf lettuce
(08:25):
or whatever, then I can use it for sandwiches things
like that. But whatever you do, that's fine. It is
what it is. And so uh, usually, Debra, I'll do
all the cooking. Debora's in charge of the salads. Oh
really yeah, yeah, hand handle the salads. Not that tough, okay,
all right, tomatoes and onion or whatever, trust me, okay. Ship,
(08:49):
So I'm doing my thing whatever, and I hear her
go ooh coming from the refrigerator, and I go, what
could that?
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
What the fuck'?
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Something mold in there or something.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
She goes, yeah, I didn't. It looks like I didn't
buy spring mix. I bought just spinach.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
I've done that probably, I mean.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Looks what the fuck? It's not that tough.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
I mean, and it says it right on the front
real base.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I don't know, throw you off.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
The spring has some reds in there, but in looks
the same. So you're just grabbing.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
This is what we're doing. So this is what we're doing. Okay,
we don't go I don't go. Sorry, I mean never
don't go shopping twenty four seven.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I don't go shopping twenty four seven. Figured, Okay, this
is it's just I'm like, okay, well, I guess we're
having spinach tala.
Speaker 5 (09:47):
I don't really want I like spinach, and I don't
even like spinach.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Fine with some spinach and it. I don't want an
entire spinach. Okay, what do I what can I do?
I have no recourse with So this is this is
where it begins. My annoyance is like h and part
of me also goes. I kind of have a slight
feeling maybe she did this on purpose. Purpose, explain explain explained.
(10:16):
During the week she does like these little healthy breakfasts
where she'll make because she's a big avocado toast basic bitch.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Out. We're out to brunch and you could order anything
in the world, and you go.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Off every everything, every single time. Whatever you want to
be healthy, be healthy, all right. So sometimes she'll make
a little concoction with spinach or broccoli or greens, you
know whatever that we have, mix it with egg and
put that on the avocado toast or very similar to
Emily's part eggs and things like that. So buying all spinach,
(10:57):
I wouldn't put it past and then just play like
dumb of like, oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
You'll never know.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
You think that she could have probably you would have
been okay with her springing for the spring mix.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
And listen, I'm not saying she did. I'm not saying
she did.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Okay, I feel like you're saying she did.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I almost wish she would be that manipulative and weird
about it, because it would make more sense than fucking
buying the wrong spring mixed salad, spinach whatever territory. Yeah,
so this is where it begins. I'm a little annoyed.
I'm not like pissed yet. I'm a little annoyed. So
she's over there making the cell blah blah blah. I
am not joking and I'm not exaggerating. Probably the last
(11:39):
five times she's made salads, we have, you know, just
regular bowls. We don't make it like a giant salad,
because me and Deborah are really the only ones to
eat salad. My kids will cut up like tomatoes for
them or whatever. They're not big salad either. Eventually they
probably will, and everyone's wile to make them eat it.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
But oh you don't, you say, oh, if you don't want,
don't have it.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
No, they gotta get they got to get their greens
in and so yeah, so we just have these regular
upright bulls whatever. So last like five or six times
she's made salads, she piles the salad so high that
I go, Deborah, now I can't mix it. If you put.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Anywhere it's because you're tossing.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It's not like a full salad. So I do individual salad,
and so I go, I can't. I can't mix it,
And so I go, can younot load it so much
so that I can actually mix the salad and everything?
Oh yeah, yeah, okay, okay, what happens yesterday.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Take guests guess like a loaded bake.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I go, are you telling me right now? You don't
remember the last five fucking times I've asked you don't
overflow this salad? And she's like, oh yeah, like this
fucking breaking news, I've never heard of it. All right,
here's another check. Now I'm getting no, getting pretty strike
(13:04):
Now I get prettys.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
There and judge, we're on two strikes. You know what's
coming next?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
It could be struck out here we go, we're gonna
be waving at something. So now I go, Okay, Normally
I'll just do oil and vinegar, make it pretty simple,
especially with a nice Italian meal like my spaghetti or whatever.
But I got a hankering and it's also like too
annoying to mix it all up together. I go, I'm
just gonna go straight up ranch. I'm just gonna do
ranch on the salad, simple, easy, whatever. And we have
(13:32):
a new ranch, which I was like kind of excited.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Do you do the yogurt thing that me and my
wife do with the ranch?
Speaker 5 (13:38):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (13:39):
We we take Greek yogurt and then we mix in
ranch powder. Right, No, No, I just got whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I really like it. Yeah, so no, I just go bottle,
So I get the bottle out, squeeze it. Struggle to
not have that there was it was all over.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Over you could do you ever think about did you
think about putting the lid on it and shaking it
around my bowl?
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Giant lid.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Some of these I don't have a big contains a bowl,
like I would take a cup of lid.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
I see what's thinking?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Stop having her back right out. I'm literally gonna kill you. Whatever, Debora,
she does whatever I do. So she's getting to have
ranch as well. Now ranch, ranch, ranch, whatever, and so
uh the meals commencing here. I noticed when she squirted
her ranch, it kind of like did the ketchup thing
(14:46):
where he is all over the top of it.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
And so.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
I see her do something that I'm like completely baffled
by because right now we're sort of in a mode
of like really reinforcing manners at the table, because you know,
we're getting to the age where my kids are starting
to like boys and girls and dates and things like that. Yeah,
and so I'm like, I don't ever want them to
go out on a date and look like fucking idiots.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Yes, you're traumatized from the way that chick Helder, You'll never.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
I can't have bad table man, Like it's just so
right now. My son Jack is twelve, and he's growing
and he's going through all these changes and stuff like that.
So the kids eating like a machine and so he's
doing things where he's just shoveling it. Yeah, but you're
still growing growing, You're still growing, boys, I don't think
you are. And so I'm literally like telling him, dude,
(15:38):
slow down.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
The same at my house with my son, slow down.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Crazy man. He's like done before I've had two bites.
I'm like, bro, do you.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Guys need me to come over and train your children?
And how they're all weak?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yeah? That either. And then for some reason, and this
has been since she was a baby, my daughter Taylor
is just mess So there's like always ship all around her.
She's just messy. And I'm always like tailor, like what
is going on? Like what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Like you like you?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
No boy is gonna want to, you know, sit down
to a meal with me. So I'm trying to reinforce
these things, you know. And so and she'll make really wet,
wild decisions where I'm always looking at her like Taylor,
what are you doing? What's wrong with you? Okay? So
I look over across the table to DEBRAA sits across
from me. Two kids sit on the side, and I
look over and I see Debra Deborah make this move,
(16:31):
and I'm like, holy shit, I can't believe what she's
doing right now. And I bit my tongue on the
ranch bottle. Yeah, it's messy, so you gotta imagine if
you're gonna clean it, You're gonna pick up a napkin
or something and just wipe it off.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
She goes with her fucking finger and goes cleans it off,
and I'm stunned. I'm sitting like holy shit. And so
I sit there in rage silence, like fuck, I'm so
angry that you just did and in front of the
(17:06):
kids who were trying to teach manage. So I wait
for them to finish. They're up. I'm sitting there stewing
on this, and as soon as they're out of the room,
I go, I don't like this tone. Let me ask you,
because she's more on Taylor and I'm more on Jack.
I don't know why that is, but just the way
it is. Let me ask you a question. If Taylor
(17:30):
would have cleaned that ranch bottle with her fucking finger?
What would you have said to her? And I could
see her immediately pucker and be like, oh fuck. And
she wanted to come up with something. She's got nothing
in there. She couldn't nothing in the whole. She wanted
to like be like she went, I see your point,
(17:54):
but I mean at that point, I'm over it. I'm
fucking done. I got spinach.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
That's insane.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I literally had it coming out of my ears because
the bull is over everywhere and now I got this
fucking pickle it over here wiping ranch bottles with her finger,
and I'm now, I'm just I'm done. I'm going to
retire back to the bed and just you know, watch
this amazing Monday night football game. For texting me, that's
(18:24):
it was bad. Not a fun evening.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
No, that's not a funny evening at all. I'm surprised
that if it was Robbert, he would have like licked
the bottle himself.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
God.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
Yes,
Have you ever had a night, or just a day
or whatever where your partner spouse just annoys the piss
out of you, Like literally everything they do one after another,
you can't relate, not at all. Literally. Last night it
was a string of events where one thing after another,
(00:21):
my wife was driving me fucking nuts. We ain't done yet.
It's time for the one podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
A year, completely uncensored and unacting filtered except for that part.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
The show's after show starts now. Man, it was one
of those nights. Oh yeah, it was not good where a.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Lot of drama happens in our house. Oh dinner, when
like my husband tries to give me his two cents.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
He doesn't cook, no like I do.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I do all the cooking, and then he'll just like,
sniper is fucking way And next thing I know, he's
standing next to me at the stove and it'll be
like pepper that.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
I get the fuck away?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Shepher that.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I mean, the pepper grinder's right fucking next to me.
What do you think it's there for?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I know nothing about cooking. I mean, like obviously I'm
not a cook. I don't like cooking. Sometimes I'd rather
not eat than cook myself.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It was one of the best things to happen to you,
that you married a cook and she's awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yesterday she made me the best damp and she's like,
I love feeding you.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
It was pretty great.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
I know. I gotta be careful though.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
But one the first time we lived together, she made
something and I saw her using a lot of seasoning,
and I know nothing about cooking, so.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
I go, aren't you using a little too much seasoning? Dude?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Not smart guys?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
So from that was seven years ago, do you get
your head back?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, and she'll still she'll still bring up remember that
one time you said that to me, Like I'm a
fucking moron.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
It was seven years ago.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
I mean, how insane is it? Could you imagine walking
up to Gore and Ramsey and being like, oh, a
little bit too ussault there on Gordon? Yeah, I mean
you know, I mean it's like that's the level.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
But that's my point. Like, so that was it. I've
remember saying anything since ever.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I don't believe there's there's That's like the only thing
where I really don't.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
You gotta be careful because.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
She gets so mad at me.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
But so it's crazy that the boo continuously does this,
and it's like.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
A fucking sniper move where he just strolls out of nowhere,
like I don't even realize he's home. And the next
thing you know, he's standing next to me asking me
if I greased the pan before I put the meat
in it. And I'm like, well, you don't see it sticking,
do you?
Speaker 4 (02:34):
I mean, I think.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
We're about spaghetti you were making the other day.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Oh that son of a bitch, I forgot that.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
You ever just look at him and want to punch
him in the face.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Yes, okay, Yeah, So I'm because, as you know, I
cater to my family, so I make things different ways
for everybody. So I got like talk about it in
san I got like two meals going on, right, and
he jumps in because he decides he wants to be
the state guy. So I'm doing everything besides the steak,
and I put the spaghetti in the boiling pot of water,
(03:05):
and as I do that, and and I won't break
the spaghetti.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I don't. I don't.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I learned. I used to, of course break it, until
I learned that that was horrible and so and at
that moment I put it in. He asked me a
question about like a recipe. So I go over to
look at the recipe real quick, and the second I
turned my back to the spaghetti, he goes, oh, are
you only planning on half cooking the spaghetti.
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Yeah, I'm gonna let it stands half of its.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Spaghetti. Knows that that's what happens until it like, you
get a little and you pu, that's crazy.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
It's impossible. We don't crack it and then put it in.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
We just said you can't break Italian. That's the most
ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Yeah, yeah, and so and you know me, you I
never I never say anything. I don't I don't you know,
I don't. I don't confront things. But I looked at
him and I go, is that a real fucking question?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
I go, do you Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, I go, yeah, I go, do you really think
my plan here was to half cook the spaghetti?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Weird plan?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
And then I just and then I just stared at him,
and then he starts to panic, and he goes, well,
I thought, maybe you and lovely we're going to do
an art project in the middle of cooking dinner.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I'm half cooking.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
I saw you, and yeah, terrible answer.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
So his credit though you guys do a lot of
weird art.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
We do, we do, but I mean, I'm in the
middle of cooking dinner. So anyway, when you brought up
the kitchen, that's a little bit.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Of a hot spot for me in the boot. Deborah
does not do any of that with me because I
taught her how to cook, so she knows she's not
going to come in and sniper comment or you know,
question anything I'm doing. I don't think Robert would do
that either.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
Right, No, Well, he just gets in my way when
I'm cooking, and he'll like be scrounged around for a
snack because he's starving, and then he starts rushing me
to make dinner ready.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
And sometimes I'll be cooking and Devor decides that's the
time she's gonna put dishes away. Yes, And I'm like,
what the fuck you had all day? Like, now you're
gonna do it when I'm in the kitchen.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
Yeah, yeah, So he does never really tell me. Sometimes
he will comment on comment on salts and stuff, because
Robert doesn't.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Like any salts.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
He doesn't care.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Well, that's one thing I.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Don't say too, The only thing, the only one thing
is said and she'll still fucking do it. I'm like, hey,
I don't like any spice, none, and she'll I don't
give a fuck, do you know what? You know, what
else I have to eat after all that food because
I get so much fucking heartburn, And she'll go, I
barely put any in there every time? How about don't
(05:45):
put any don't put any?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Oh god, we got a lovely situation over here. Coxcep
meals from just anyway. I have nothing to do with that.
Speaker 5 (05:56):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
So I had a busy weekend this past weekend where
I didn't get to do my normal grocery shopping trip.
It's a nightmare. I okay, I really gotta.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Haley sending me to the grocery stores. I call her
like six times. I don't know where anything is.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
But I mean, okay, but I understand what Hailey's talking about,
because literally, we have a list. We have a running
grocery list all week long, and then we go grocery
shopping on the weekend. I didn't have a chance this weekend,
and so there's a list there. It's not that fucking top,
you know. And she's this check who brings a pen
with her to cross very efficient Listen, do I need that? No?
(06:38):
But she does.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Okay, that time, Haley sent me a screenshot of the
list you made, but I didn't press on it. I
kept it in the text thread, so I missed like fourth.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Stupid proof.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
I mean, how is that stupid? I didn't know it
was all on the list?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Okay, anyway, so she comes home, puts down the old
list and I look at it and there's like seven
things not crossed out. But you can't it's on the list.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
You can't leave until understand.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I guess, honestly, I guess that's what happened, because I'm serious.
I've never gone the grocery store. I've never not once
ever gone to the grocery store and not got everything
on the list. Even if they're out of something, I'll
go to a different store and get it. I mean,
it's not that top.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
Are you asking for exotic things on the.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
On the list?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Are you getting so complicated?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I mean, fucking bananas? Of the things I don't remember
what There was a couple of things. I'm trying to
remember what was on it. I don't remember one. But
I was like, it's not that hard to find that.
Don't like you just pick and choose the life. Man,
you gotta get life on the list. So yeah, that
that immediately annoyed. And so then I realized, okay, well
(07:58):
we're making spaghetti for dinner. I am going to cook both.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Plan on cooking both.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Okay, So I I knew on the list was lettuce.
We want to make a little, nice little sight salad,
nice lee, And I said, you got lettus, right, yep,
I got lettuce. She goes, in fact, I got the
spring mix because I know you like the spring mix.
And I go, okay, you know, I mean it wasn't
what I would buy, but you know, because I like
to double up. If you get regular like leaf lettuce
(08:25):
or whatever, then I can use it for sandwiches things
like that. But whatever you do, that's fine. It is
what it is. And so uh, usually, Debra, I'll do
all the cooking. Debora's in charge of the salads. Oh
really yeah, yeah, hand handle the salads. Not that tough, okay,
all right, tomatoes and onion or whatever, trust me, okay. Ship,
(08:49):
So I'm doing my thing whatever, and I hear her
go ooh coming from the refrigerator, and I go, what
could that?
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
What the fuck'?
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Something mold in there or something.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
She goes, yeah, I didn't. It looks like I didn't
buy spring mix. I bought just spinach.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
I've done that probably, I mean.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Looks what the fuck? It's not that tough.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
I mean, and it says it right on the front
real base.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I don't know, throw you off.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
The spring has some reds in there, but in looks
the same. So you're just grabbing.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
This is what we're doing. So this is what we're doing. Okay,
we don't go I don't go. Sorry, I mean never
don't go shopping twenty four seven.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I don't go shopping twenty four seven. Figured, Okay, this
is it's just I'm like, okay, well, I guess we're
having spinach tala.
Speaker 5 (09:47):
I don't really want I like spinach, and I don't
even like spinach.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Fine with some spinach and it. I don't want an
entire spinach. Okay, what do I what can I do?
I have no recourse with So this is this is
where it begins. My annoyance is like h and part
of me also goes. I kind of have a slight
feeling maybe she did this on purpose. Purpose, explain explain explained.
(10:16):
During the week she does like these little healthy breakfasts
where she'll make because she's a big avocado toast basic bitch.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Out. We're out to brunch and you could order anything
in the world, and you go.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Off every everything, every single time. Whatever you want to
be healthy, be healthy, all right. So sometimes she'll make
a little concoction with spinach or broccoli or greens, you
know whatever that we have, mix it with egg and
put that on the avocado toast or very similar to
Emily's part eggs and things like that. So buying all spinach,
(10:57):
I wouldn't put it past and then just play like
dumb of like, oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
You'll never know.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
You think that she could have probably you would have
been okay with her springing for the spring mix.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
And listen, I'm not saying she did. I'm not saying
she did.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Okay, I feel like you're saying she did.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I almost wish she would be that manipulative and weird
about it, because it would make more sense than fucking
buying the wrong spring mixed salad, spinach whatever territory. Yeah,
so this is where it begins. I'm a little annoyed.
I'm not like pissed yet. I'm a little annoyed. So
she's over there making the cell blah blah blah. I
am not joking and I'm not exaggerating. Probably the last
(11:39):
five times she's made salads, we have, you know, just
regular bowls. We don't make it like a giant salad,
because me and Deborah are really the only ones to
eat salad. My kids will cut up like tomatoes for
them or whatever. They're not big salad either. Eventually they
probably will, and everyone's wile to make them eat it.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
But oh you don't, you say, oh, if you don't want,
don't have it.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
No, they gotta get they got to get their greens
in and so yeah, so we just have these regular
upright bulls whatever. So last like five or six times
she's made salads, she piles the salad so high that
I go, Deborah, now I can't mix it. If you put.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Anywhere it's because you're tossing.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It's not like a full salad. So I do individual salad,
and so I go, I can't. I can't mix it,
And so I go, can younot load it so much
so that I can actually mix the salad and everything?
Oh yeah, yeah, okay, okay, what happens yesterday.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Take guests guess like a loaded bake.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I go, are you telling me right now? You don't
remember the last five fucking times I've asked you don't
overflow this salad? And she's like, oh yeah, like this
fucking breaking news, I've never heard of it. All right,
here's another check. Now I'm getting no, getting pretty strike
(13:04):
Now I get prettys.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
There and judge, we're on two strikes. You know what's
coming next?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
It could be struck out here we go, we're gonna
be waving at something. So now I go, Okay, Normally
I'll just do oil and vinegar, make it pretty simple,
especially with a nice Italian meal like my spaghetti or whatever.
But I got a hankering and it's also like too
annoying to mix it all up together. I go, I'm
just gonna go straight up ranch. I'm just gonna do
ranch on the salad, simple, easy, whatever. And we have
(13:32):
a new ranch, which I was like kind of excited.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Do you do the yogurt thing that me and my
wife do with the ranch?
Speaker 5 (13:38):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (13:39):
We we take Greek yogurt and then we mix in
ranch powder. Right, No, No, I just got whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I really like it. Yeah, so no, I just go bottle,
So I get the bottle out, squeeze it. Struggle to
not have that there was it was all over.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Over you could do you ever think about did you
think about putting the lid on it and shaking it
around my bowl?
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Giant lid.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Some of these I don't have a big contains a bowl,
like I would take a cup of lid.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
I see what's thinking?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Stop having her back right out. I'm literally gonna kill you. Whatever, Debora,
she does whatever I do. So she's getting to have
ranch as well. Now ranch, ranch, ranch, whatever, and so
uh the meals commencing here. I noticed when she squirted
her ranch, it kind of like did the ketchup thing
(14:46):
where he is all over the top of it.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
And so.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
I see her do something that I'm like completely baffled
by because right now we're sort of in a mode
of like really reinforcing manners at the table, because you know,
we're getting to the age where my kids are starting
to like boys and girls and dates and things like that. Yeah,
and so I'm like, I don't ever want them to
go out on a date and look like fucking idiots.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Yes, you're traumatized from the way that chick Helder, You'll never.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
I can't have bad table man, Like it's just so
right now. My son Jack is twelve, and he's growing
and he's going through all these changes and stuff like that.
So the kids eating like a machine and so he's
doing things where he's just shoveling it. Yeah, but you're
still growing growing, You're still growing, boys, I don't think
you are. And so I'm literally like telling him, dude,
(15:38):
slow down.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
The same at my house with my son, slow down.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Crazy man. He's like done before I've had two bites.
I'm like, bro, do you.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Guys need me to come over and train your children?
And how they're all weak?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yeah? That either. And then for some reason, and this
has been since she was a baby, my daughter Taylor
is just mess So there's like always ship all around her.
She's just messy. And I'm always like tailor, like what
is going on? Like what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Like you like you?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
No boy is gonna want to, you know, sit down
to a meal with me. So I'm trying to reinforce
these things, you know. And so and she'll make really wet,
wild decisions where I'm always looking at her like Taylor,
what are you doing? What's wrong with you? Okay? So
I look over across the table to DEBRAA sits across
from me. Two kids sit on the side, and I
look over and I see Debra Deborah make this move,
(16:31):
and I'm like, holy shit, I can't believe what she's
doing right now. And I bit my tongue on the
ranch bottle. Yeah, it's messy, so you gotta imagine if
you're gonna clean it, You're gonna pick up a napkin
or something and just wipe it off.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
She goes with her fucking finger and goes cleans it off,
and I'm stunned. I'm sitting like holy shit. And so
I sit there in rage silence, like fuck, I'm so
angry that you just did and in front of the
(17:06):
kids who were trying to teach manage. So I wait
for them to finish. They're up. I'm sitting there stewing
on this, and as soon as they're out of the room,
I go, I don't like this tone. Let me ask you,
because she's more on Taylor and I'm more on Jack.
I don't know why that is, but just the way
it is. Let me ask you a question. If Taylor
(17:30):
would have cleaned that ranch bottle with her fucking finger?
What would you have said to her? And I could
see her immediately pucker and be like, oh fuck. And
she wanted to come up with something. She's got nothing
in there. She couldn't nothing in the whole. She wanted
to like be like she went, I see your point,
(17:54):
but I mean at that point, I'm over it. I'm
fucking done. I got spinach.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
That's insane.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I literally had it coming out of my ears because
the bull is over everywhere and now I got this
fucking pickle it over here wiping ranch bottles with her finger,
and I'm now, I'm just I'm done. I'm going to
retire back to the bed and just you know, watch
this amazing Monday night football game. For texting me, that's
(18:24):
it was bad. Not a fun evening.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
No, that's not a funny evening at all. I'm surprised
that if it was Robbert, he would have like licked
the bottle himself.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
God.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
Yes,
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