EP 552 - Cristina Mariani - What's Up Fool? Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Try what What's up?

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Fool?

Speaker 3 (00:33):
What's a full podcast? The only podcast where the where
the guests? So then get to talk and we speak
and the host talks over the guests, and the psychic
laughs over the the guesses, monologues, trying Martin reserve here man,
his feet are hanging off to a couch. That's okay,
back with him and I were the same side legs.

(00:54):
I'll six foot one. I'll tell you my little my
little giant right hair man five seven pant.

Speaker 4 (01:01):
Size sized waist twenty eight, but I wear a size
thirty three.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
Oh my god. See I'm a fucking forty four forty
six waists and I wear a thirty pants. How tall
are you here? I guess your Christina? She fucking passed
the Golden ticket and killed Tony right, No, no, no,

(01:26):
So you're not allowed to just show up to the
mothership and go up. No.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
I mean I can go and do spots that mother ship,
but I can't just crash kill tone.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Do you know you're eating get the golden ticket? What
does the golden ticket mean?

Speaker 2 (01:38):
I think golden ticket means you get to go up
when you want.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Well, that's that's our boy. He got one of those no,
Rik Rika Chacon.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
Oh yeah, so it's like the fast pass.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
You know what that is? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:52):
I ever heard? Yeah wait yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Yeah. Like he looked like my like my little son. Bro.
He's shorter, and he has like big hair.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
Bro, like real big hips like birthing hips.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
Well, the same size, legs taller because of my my
tors so that was given me by the color nizers
that came here from Spain.

Speaker 4 (02:09):
So his torso is actually taller.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
And the torso is this part of the body. Bro.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
Yes, so you're like, yeah, the torsill.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Look, I'm telling everybody here, it's like, have your legs.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
It's like that you wear the thing from the Looney
Tunes of red thing.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
I know what a tors is.

Speaker 4 (02:24):
I'm not about like the high I can't found out.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
But how tall are your legs? Thirty two? Right?

Speaker 2 (02:33):
Thirty two?

Speaker 3 (02:34):
Your legs? Your length on your legs?

Speaker 2 (02:35):
Oh man, I never measured my legs, but I think
my torso and my legs are long.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
I'm just like that Marcella Broke. She must get she's
she's a well proportioned woman, Like she's a really long legs.

Speaker 4 (02:49):
And torso the same like smaller.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Yeah, and my torso, Bro, like it's weird blowing when
I walk, and everything on my top part looks good,
you know, nice and tight. But then my pants, Bro,
they're they're really wet from the fucking floor and the
bottom of the bottom of my pants are ripping.

Speaker 4 (03:11):
Like he was trying to say, your body looks like
there's like two people like trying, you know.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Like I make it look like Brad Williams is holding
me and his souldiers basically in.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
A trench coat.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
What's up? Food?

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Shut out to everybody. Those five fans that went to
go see me at kang Fest this weekend, thank you
very Bro. I was walking around bro murdering, Bro. No pressure.
A lot of the a lot of the people from
Scampfest only know me from Story Wars and being on
the legion of Kang once, so no like. And so

(03:46):
although New York Comics they are, they probably already know
their materials, so they have to work extra harder to
write new material for the festival. Me, Bro, I was
fucking passing off bubble gum over there, Bro. A lot
of the people never heard, never bothered to check out
my whole hour. So I was just who is this guy?

(04:06):
Who is this Who is this guy? The only Mexican
on the fuck is kank festival problem? Do my own skank? First?
Bro in Spanish called scnker festival.

Speaker 4 (04:17):
That's a good names Conka.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
It is Conca and skank the same thing.

Speaker 4 (04:21):
Yes, school, yeah, I mean at the first I heard
skunk Spanish was skank okay.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
In California, Right yeah, lots of Mexicans.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
She grows, shout up to me clad right here, people,
blood and blood out, white girl raised by Mexicans.

Speaker 4 (04:38):
So you grow upround Cholitash lots okay right here? So Sid, Sid,
look all right, my liver, my liver?

Speaker 3 (05:11):
Yeah, man, have you done? Have you been on skank
fest or leaving a skanks? No? You should bro, everybody,
bro everybody over there on skank pest. There were three
types of people that they look like. One of them
was Jack Black, like Jack Black, like a lot of

(05:31):
people that were like Jack Black, or different variations of
Jack Black.

Speaker 4 (05:34):
Like somebody looked like nat somebody looks like.

Speaker 3 (05:37):
Jack Black like the beard and the gray. A lot
of food looked like that, all but all sizes. The
second popular look was people who look like Big Jake Orkerson, okay,
like with the different sizes bro, like little little little four,
four eleven man, and all different people bro. And people

(06:01):
who looked like any peppertone bro.

Speaker 4 (06:03):
Oh okay cool cool.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yeah man, those were the genres over there also. Man,
there was like you could count the women that were there. Bro.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
It wasn't that it was more of a sausage fest.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
Hell yeah, Bro, I've never been to a festival at that,
bro where everybody was just happy to see each other.
Really festival festival where people get beat up waiting in line,
turning it in, festival where people get pulled over on
the way in fast where people go they might be iceier,
So I ain't gonna go yeah man. So like there

(06:39):
was a there was a shot up to this band
I never heard of called Hate Breed, Hate Breed, Hate
Breed Bro fucking speed metal bro like and it was
just fast, bro, and I got I got in a
marsh pid Bro. You got a hell yeah bro, my
older kind of mosh prep because needed two thousand more
steps on my.

Speaker 4 (06:56):
Phenam, might as well just speed it up right there.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
So I sped it up. Bro. I was like, and
I thought that, you know, have you seen marsh Pits
by General Generation z maush pits. It's I know the
fuck that really is trying to kill somebody.

Speaker 4 (07:08):
The new the new generation is really trying to be hardcore, bro.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Oh Man. So there's this mush pit where the bunch
of General gen Zers and a guy standing right there
just watching, and some guy just starts swinging the way
you swing your elbows and knocks his teeth out, bro,
and then he just tends they're like this all mad
that he gets in the middle like he'll gonna hit somebody,

(07:32):
and then somebody roundhouse is hit bro right at the
same face. Then somebody grabs them and sits them down.
Then he wipes all the blood in his mouth. He
starts laughing. Then he goes in that pit, Bro, and
start punching the ship at everybody like a violent man.

Speaker 4 (07:47):
This was at the Skank fanst.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
Fuck No, this was General gen Zers, but the Skank Fast.
But people like people were like thirty and over, Bro.
So I got in that marsh paper, I got in
the older section. Bad people that wear braces, people that
wearing knee pads.

Speaker 4 (08:03):
They separated by holding their.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
Friend up and then dude, I fell you felt and
I really thought that I was gonna get stopped, you know,
like people were gonna jumped me. Yeah, but so I
held my head like this in my face.

Speaker 4 (08:17):
You went to survival mode.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
Survival mode. Yeah, so not man, somebody picked me up
and they gave me a water run and sat me down. Though. Man, amen,
yeah man with hardcore bad Bro hardcore bad I heard
of everyone they opened for Damn.

Speaker 4 (08:34):
Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Really, I was on someone's shoulders.

Speaker 4 (08:40):
Oh, and they went.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
They were kind of getting tossed around, but I was
like having a great time. I was on molly probably.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
We were trying to punch people's heads from the toime.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
No, I didn't notice that it was a marsh pit
until I got down and he was like, I was
just in a marsh pit, didn't you see? I was struggling.
I was trying to I was like, oh, sorry, no,
I didn't notice.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
What do he want you to do? He was like,
what do you know?

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Just I should have noticed and been like, oh, let
me get down, because you're like he kept his balance
though that was crazy.

Speaker 4 (09:07):
That's actually a good skin. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
He was really tall, bad center of gravity like me.

Speaker 4 (09:11):
He was trying not to die. That's a very wow.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
Yep, there's a big march bit dude.

Speaker 4 (09:19):
Hmm, that's crazy, dude.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
Thursday the first night.

Speaker 4 (09:23):
So you're there for like like five days New Orleans.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
Oh there for long ass time? Bro.

Speaker 4 (09:28):
How was the food out there? Was there a lot
of uh like Vignan's.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (09:32):
I don't really know what.

Speaker 3 (09:34):
There was a lot of food, man. But the festival
was a good man. Man. It was very organized and
you should go. Did there something different, man? Which I
thought was not neat, Like there's some people who couldn't
make it to the festival, but they sold like a
three day web pass where you could watch the whole
festival on the internet.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Oh that is cool, So why would you do that?

Speaker 4 (09:58):
What if you can't?

Speaker 3 (09:59):
Kids? You watching female wrestlers? You know, they were like
guys comedians boxing each other and then and then a
lot of comedian were fighting each other for like Jamar Neighbors.
You were fighting like to a black dudes and for
the audience on stage.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
I wouldn't want to fight Jamar. He's fucking He's been
buffed since he was a teenager. Dude.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Somebody did it with one of his paintings.

Speaker 4 (10:20):
Bro I remember me and Jamal would always say when
he lived out here and we uh, I take him
home and we'd be like, oh, I'm glad we're from La, man,
because like we talked about it too, because you know,
like people that come from far away they move to
l A. If you don't, you got to really try
hard because you don't make it, you got to move

(10:41):
back home, like we live here, man like.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
But so that's it's different because we live in LA
and would have to go anywhere to perform. We have
to have to go to Austin?

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Is it for you guys?

Speaker 3 (10:53):
It's harder for us? I think because for us if
we quit, it's nobody.

Speaker 4 (10:57):
Notices because we're still in the area.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
Was doing the area. For us, people just looked at it.
We wasted our time.

Speaker 4 (11:04):
It hurts more, hear a lot more because we see
our friends advancing.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
We see people like you have that Flyery gave me
you quit like two years ago.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
Yeah, you gotta drive through the fucking laugh Factory Marquee
to work. You know, you're like, fuck man.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
You have passed out uber and see the fucking momo
getting a pizza.

Speaker 4 (11:21):
Yeah, A long time Agot delivered. I delivered the food
so many comedians back in the day. I might deliver
food to Adam Ray back in the day.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
I want a comedian delivers you an uber or or
something like that. They't want to be on your podcast. Ha, yeah,
don't want to be a guest, but.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
Do you have me?

Speaker 3 (11:41):
I see if a comedian not going up, Like if
I see like to his page, like he's not going
up every day, or he's he's slacking and not like
really doing a podcast, but he just wants to go up,
I'm like, hell, no, bro, you're not even doing anything. Bro,
you don't even trying.

Speaker 4 (11:59):
Yeah, it's you.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
I want to see the one people to come up.
I want people to tell me, Bro, I saw this
guy and R today. He fuck is socked. I mean
he goes up every night and socked. Then I go
check him out and I think he's just all right.
You guys just don't like the motherfucker he gives up
every day.

Speaker 4 (12:17):
See, it's easy to slack off when you're from l A,
you know, because you can just like take off a
couple of days because you're like it's I don't it's
down the street, you know.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
So it's a lot of pressure too, Like when you're
funny as fuck and your friends aren't bro especially and
then one of them and then you've been in a
show where you murdered. Bro, like you killed Christina, you
killed and the guy who drove the car to the
cake bomb hard.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (12:42):
Oh, I've been. I've been both. I've been. I've been
on both sides of the spectrum, spectrum, both sides of
the end of the stick. I bombed really bad, and
I've had to drive the person that bombed really bad.
So like it was.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
I bombed hard one time, bro that the girl was
facts with a guy that killed in a backseat while
I was driving.

Speaker 4 (13:03):
Wow, that but that's hard. That's how I bombed. So
about once iime I at a car show and my
ex girlfriend she did not want to get near me
the whole time, Like like what the fuck?

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Bitch?

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Like, no, that makes sense.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
Lately lately, like when you used to Mattice, it's tough.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
Hmm. I don't know. I did one show that where
I just couldn't get into it and then I bombed
really bad, and I was like, but I know every
time I bomb. You know, the worst is when people
don't know they bombed, and they're really excited and you're like, oh, no,
I'm gonna have to interact with them. And then they're
like excited about oh I did so good, and I'm oh,

(13:41):
thank god, No, no, they think they did good. So
I don't have to be weird around because I don't
like to lie to people, like if they bombed.

Speaker 4 (13:47):
I don't you don't tell me they bombed.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
Well, I don't say anything at all because I don't
want to be like, good job, because that's not helpful.
It's not you know, like people should know if they're bombing.

Speaker 4 (13:57):
I think I think so out here we will see
a lot of people, like because we do comedy shows
like at a nightclubs and after the show it turns
to nightclub, so people they wouldn't cared they bombed. They
were just like I'm gonna go try and get pussy
bro remember, like those fucking comedians and like.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
Dude, but that's why they're comedians, right.

Speaker 4 (14:13):
I mean, I'm d I feel they're in the wrong.
I don't know. I feel like if you bomb, you
should like reflect, go to the car, go over your set,
listen to your ship, and like you shouldn't try get like,
don't try get pussy, you know, like I don't know,
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
I don't know. I mean like let them do what
they want. That's what they wanted. I mean, they're probably
comedians because they want to get girls like funny guys,
you know, but they're not so hopefully the girls aren't
at the show?

Speaker 4 (14:42):
What comed to? What do you say coming to say that?
When you do get out a show, and then you
should stay at the club because some people try to leave,
but your powers are at the show. If you try
to go to a different bar, the girls there won't
know that you were a comedian. So stay at the bar.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
Unless you start doing your material at the girl at
the bar up, lying you do your whole set, she's like,
what's your You're like, no, no, I'm not done. I still
have three minutes. I didn't get the light yet.

Speaker 4 (15:07):
Can you please stop? No, no way, I'm not Yeah, or
the show?

Speaker 3 (15:11):
You should? You should have done those clothes on stage?

Speaker 4 (15:14):
Yeah, how can we do a better off station than
you did on stage? With the hell?

Speaker 3 (15:20):
Would you start stand up comedy yet in Austin?

Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah? I gotta say, was that a double shot?

Speaker 4 (15:26):
I know, it's actually a little bit bigger than a
than a regular I dan, it's a shot in a half.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
Did we just take a tea cup of teguila?

Speaker 4 (15:34):
Yeah, it's pretty big. Yeah, do you want another one?

Speaker 2 (15:37):
There's more in here. I didn't even take the whole thing.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
Yeah, it's it's pretty big. It's bigger. That's why I'm
feeling like a little Yeah. It took me a while
to realize that these were like, actually a little bit bigger,
because I do you.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
Weigh less than me? You're probably fucked up right now?

Speaker 4 (15:51):
I weigh one twenty five?

Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah, you waits.

Speaker 4 (15:58):
Twenty five? Baby?

Speaker 3 (16:00):
One of my testicles.

Speaker 4 (16:02):
Five? Say, thirty seven years old? Baby? Is that?

Speaker 3 (16:07):
Is that forty already?

Speaker 2 (16:09):
No food?

Speaker 3 (16:09):
Though?

Speaker 4 (16:09):
I'm not fucking forty?

Speaker 2 (16:10):
Do you?

Speaker 3 (16:11):
What the fuck?

Speaker 4 (16:11):
Dude?

Speaker 2 (16:12):
Not?

Speaker 3 (16:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (16:13):
Deal with the fuck.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
I told somebody thirty seven. They believe they didn't blink twice?

Speaker 5 (16:17):
Bro?

Speaker 3 (16:18):
Hell yeah, then that person was waiting for me to
tell water.

Speaker 2 (16:22):
They think I'm wasted. No, I'm not.

Speaker 4 (16:28):
I'm just kidding. I'm thirty one. That's my new I'm
twenty nine. Can I hold am?

Speaker 3 (16:34):
I you're thirty?

Speaker 4 (16:36):
Bro, I'm thirty.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
That's a check.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
What's that in Mexican years.

Speaker 4 (16:41):
See in Mexican. Yeah, in Mexico they lose your paperwork
so they don't know what they say when you go
to school, so that they lie about your age.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
Even in Mexico, we don't have paper.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
Oh yeah, yeah, even in Mexico you're undocumented. That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
You guys just don't like documents. We don't need to
keep trying filing cabinets.

Speaker 4 (17:02):
We just we just like to just.

Speaker 3 (17:06):
To a different state or city. They have a whole
different name.

Speaker 4 (17:10):
It was funny because my mom.

Speaker 3 (17:11):
Should my dad's name bro. For a long time, people
come look for him and be like, is Manny. There's
that manual Manny, and like Manny manual labor. I don't
know Manny. Then I found out that my dad had
a fake He was telling everybody I work his name
was Manny, but the real name was his us. I

(17:32):
see my Manuel, but it's not manual like manual name.

Speaker 4 (17:36):
You start trying to get like an extra paycheck or something.

Speaker 3 (17:38):
A fake ID liar.

Speaker 4 (17:40):
Everybody did everybody? Does you know? I used to go
to a MacArthur park to get fake id's back in
the day.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
You know, when you're passed by MacArthur Park. If you
if you just try buy and if you stake.

Speaker 4 (17:53):
Your hand out like this, I mean you want to take.

Speaker 3 (17:55):
I mean they want to fake ID.

Speaker 4 (17:57):
Yeah, but if.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
They're like, I don't need to know your penis sizer exactly.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
Man, my brother will get drunk, broke, crackhead. You no,
pat by the all, Gabe Broy What I did to
the guys, mh, you asshole brother Angel. So he started
in Austin.

Speaker 4 (18:15):
So you moved to Austin to do comedy.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
No, I'd moved to Austin just randomly, and then it
ended up being like a really big comedy and I've
always wanted to try a comedy, but I was just
too anxious. So but I was going through a thing
where I was doing things that scared me and.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
Do a breakup.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
No, it was just a buckets bucket list.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
No, I mean it was after a breakup. But I
dealt with the breakup and then I was like, let
me figure out what I want to do with my life.
And then I just started doing things that scared me
because I think that's how you find out what you
like to do, or like what you should be doing.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
And what were What were the things on his list
besides comedy on my list?

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yeah, well if there's skydiving. But I know I wouldn't
be like a professional skydiver or any thing like that.
But comedy was one of the things that really was
and I always wanted to do it too, but I
was just too scared.

Speaker 4 (19:06):
That's cool.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
Yeah, So then I did it, and then I really
liked it, and then I just kept doing it.

Speaker 4 (19:10):
That's cool. Sky diving's crazy because they have schools, right
for skydiving, do they Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
They have school They teach you how to jump.

Speaker 4 (19:17):
Yeah, they have like little I think they have courses.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
Like really like practice jumping, like I think.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
So yeah, if you fail, I guess yeah, yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Like less than one you jump out of the plane.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
I think they're that think I can't see that far.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
You skydive.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
No, No, I haven't done skydiving yet, but I want
to eventually. But that one's I'm really really scared of skydiving.

Speaker 4 (19:44):
Yeah you can actually, and.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
Especially because right now I really like, I love like
what I'm doing and everything, and I don't want to
skydive and like die maybe like I would have like
a few years.

Speaker 4 (19:57):
Ago, but not now, No, you got a lot going
for you now.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, yeah, now I'm okay.

Speaker 4 (20:04):
Oh yeah. Somebody said sky with sky diving is for why?

Speaker 3 (20:10):
And come on, I want to skydive. And also like
I thought about doing that. That's that skydiving they're doing
that in the mall, you know.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
With the big fan.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
I thought about that. But I don't trust him. Man.
I always feel like even the fan one, even the
fan one, because I always feel like the day that
I try these things is the day that that somebody
that works is going to be piste off and quit
or someone that distract him, you know, and then turn
leave me up there.

Speaker 4 (20:42):
Hear me flying the whole time.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
Have you ever seen Charlie in the Chocolate Factory. Yeah,
you know in the scene where they like keep rising
up and.

Speaker 4 (20:49):
They got each hairy, No, they got a burp, right,
and I keep going down. Yeah, that movie scared me
as a camera. That little fact that fell inside the
chocolate water you got psycked up in the tube. Yeah,
that scarn me. Bro.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
That was the scariest one for you.

Speaker 4 (21:07):
Yeah, that was very because I kept it.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
Was the scariest for me.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
But I just kept thinking throughout the home week, like
what happened to the kid?

Speaker 3 (21:13):
Bro?

Speaker 4 (21:14):
Like what happened? I don't know?

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah, yeah, but at least you got to be like
in a chocolate river.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
I've been doing kind of common.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
Oh four years, four years.

Speaker 3 (21:27):
And you're murdering it already. You have a Netflix special?

Speaker 4 (21:29):
No you can't it? Hell yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
I'm okay.

Speaker 3 (21:37):
Are you touring a lot now? Are doing clubs?

Speaker 1 (21:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (21:41):
I'm going around to different places and am I being weird?

Speaker 4 (21:46):
No?

Speaker 1 (21:47):
No?

Speaker 3 (21:47):
No, days coming up? We have first odor here? We
have days coming up?

Speaker 2 (21:53):
Do I have?

Speaker 3 (21:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (21:54):
Yeah, I want to tell us. We'll put them up
here for okay.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah, what's my next one? My next one is tomorrow.
Huh oh, there we go. That's not updated. Maybe yeah,
there's more than that now. But that was I posted
that a while ago.

Speaker 4 (22:14):
Hell yeah. What what's been your favorite place to uh
perform comedy yet?

Speaker 3 (22:20):
Like that?

Speaker 4 (22:20):
You never thought we're going.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
To be where? I didn't think that I would like it. Seattle.
I loved Seattle. I didn't think everybody was like, oh
Seattle is going to be No, they were great. I
love Seattle and Raleigh. I really liked.

Speaker 4 (22:36):
Raleigh, North Carolina.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
Phoenix.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
Yeah, it's fun there. Yeah. Would you did you start
traveling more the US when you started doing comedy or before?

Speaker 2 (22:48):
No, I was definitely doing comedy And I like never
being in the same place. So I love traveling. I
like being on planes. I feel like plains, time doesn't
exist on them. That makes sense, Like it's you just
kind of yeah, does that make sense?

Speaker 3 (23:03):
No?

Speaker 4 (23:03):
Yeah, it kind of. It's like a it's like a
little vortext right.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
And then you can't.

Speaker 4 (23:10):
We have a homie that like that ships on planes?

Speaker 2 (23:12):
Like literally, I mean everyone shot on planes?

Speaker 4 (23:16):
Do you shot on planes?

Speaker 3 (23:17):
Hell?

Speaker 4 (23:17):
No, Roger you go, he can, he can. He can
drop a duce bro like Roger goes a homely but
he can drop.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Oh I thought you meant ship on planes.

Speaker 4 (23:25):
No, no, no, like take a ship on a plane.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
Oh oh okay, like poop on a plane.

Speaker 4 (23:29):
Yeah, I'd be too self conscious conscience is that the word?

Speaker 2 (23:34):
And then you take a dump? What if you take
a really big dump and then two people try to
have sex in the bathroom right after?

Speaker 4 (23:42):
That would ruin it. I wouldn't want to be a
cock balker like that.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
Well, wouldn't be me having stayed in that bathroom bro
then one of my legs a little door open.

Speaker 4 (23:54):
The one time we were on a plane and somebody
was having a heart attack. Remember that one time they
were about to land the plane. Well what do the
g I have? When we're in They're like, who's the
doctor here? It was pandemonium. Remember that time. I believe
it and had to get the defibrillators of what.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
I broke out on my flight of spirits so obviously
normal over a buzzball.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
They do serve buzzballs. That's on Spirit Airlines bus buzzballs.
My Mexican came on bus balls buzzball.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Around at this They serve cup of noodles too, but
it's always the worst flavor of coup of noodles. I
want to get a couple of noodles every time, but
then it's the grossest.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
I got Frontier Airlines man or Spirit buzzballs and couple
of noodles.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Oh my god, you have to shoop on the plane
after that.

Speaker 4 (24:47):
You need to even know that. Yeah, they do sell
a couple of which is pretty girt. Do a couple
of noodles, that's like that is ah, like your way
to get poodles.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
But it's like the specialty couple. The ones that are
like the fancy flavors, those are the worst ones, those aren't.

Speaker 4 (25:05):
I like the little shrimps. Where do they find these
little shrimps at?

Speaker 2 (25:08):
Why are they so tiny? They're borded shrimps. Their abortion
is their abortion shrimps. Of course, that's all cup of
Noodle can afford.

Speaker 4 (25:16):
Or the playing parenthood of fucking shrimps.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
Bro, what's up for? Do you think that the president
has sex with Bill Clinton?

Speaker 4 (25:26):
No, he didn't have sex, but then he sucked his dick.
That's what it's a there's a different intimate. That's yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
I think it's funny because I think that's way more intimate.
You know it is because it's na have to look
at each other and they're having sex, but a blowjob.
You know.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
He was like yeah, not not not not not.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Now.

Speaker 4 (25:44):
I'm like, YO, give me a gimme a fucking donny
g Donny J instead of BJ is the DJ, you know,
give I want to get a couple. There you go.

Speaker 5 (25:54):
There.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
I don't believe it, bro, No, I don't. That's what
that question is between When when I see that emails
between two brothers and I think they're just joking around,
like kind of he was like I tell my brother
was kissing the word for the government. I'd be like,
hey man, you got nake. Your pictures are such and such.
Just joking around, you.

Speaker 4 (26:15):
Know, but they made But I'm thinking maybe this happened.
They're doing a threesome, you know, like the girls in
the middle they're doing like Eiffel Tower, you know. And
then I don't. I've never been in that position where
like you look at the homie like you know what,
let me like, let me try it, you know, I don't.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
He wasn't getting hard and he's like, here, let me,
I'll do what you whore move aside was a nipple.

Speaker 4 (26:35):
He was fluffing it up, you know. Yeah, Bill Clinton,
It's crazy, dude. I told I told my mom about
it yesterday and she was like, no, is that real? No,
because I guess like in like Spanish news, they don't
like talk about that stuff, you know, and like, is.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
It weird to think your mom is this giving blowjobs?

Speaker 4 (26:56):
I hope she is.

Speaker 5 (26:56):
You know.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
I don't want her to be lonely, you know, like
I want my mom to get.

Speaker 3 (26:59):
Some were like fall asleep and you hear like somebody
like blowing up balloons. What he thought like, look, as
a little kid, you wouldn't think of a blow job,
but she probably heard somebody blowing the balloons.

Speaker 4 (27:12):
Like my dad was my mom and my dad would
never take up.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
It was just oh and then your parents having sex.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
But they just because a little kid, you know, you
hear like, yeah, I actually hear the neighbors having sex.

Speaker 4 (27:29):
Bro.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
And I lived above them, Bro, and I could.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
Hear like the bed was moving.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
The lady her husband left her and then like she
was left with like three kids by herself, and she
started dating people from the neighborhood. Bro. And she was
dating this guy from peopmen of flats that food used
to go rob people and then go into the house

(27:56):
like it was his house. Like and he was dating
that trollo. Now, Bro, she hot and they were both
not hot.

Speaker 4 (28:03):
Oh so they're made for each other.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
They were both like he would he look like a
native and a native man and he was boff, Bro.
But they were like you know, like he did a
lot of time, but he ended up he ended up
raising those two kids. But I could hear them, bro,
like screet having sex, chewing it up and at one
time they were arguing, and then they were arguing and

(28:30):
she was saying, get the fuck out of here, loser whatever,
you're just the loser. Fuck you, you're making me mad. And
then some guy go Some guy was just randomly walking
at this, and he asked them, am I any crack?
He goes, oh, I'm so pissed off, and he went
over there to beat the fuck out of that guy
for no reason. And he came back and you see

(28:52):
what you made me do? I had to fucking somebody up.
I had to go fuck somebody up instead because I
love you, bitch, Damn. That's and I was like, I
was looking out the window, going, now, I'm glad I
didn't go outside until I watched this. I got my
ass beat too. Imagine, brother, you're in a he didn't match,
he didn't fight with your lady, and you love her

(29:13):
so much that you don't want to beat her ass,
so you go beat up a random guy. A pathy
Byrooo just looked at him and he said, what the
fuck you're looking at homes? And I go so that
fool said nothing, stupid, what bitch, And he went over there.
Bro beat the fuck out of here. Bro, And they

(29:35):
kept arguing and then finally like after the fight, some
people picked up that guy and who was sorry Holmes.
It gets like that over here.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
You know what I think of your business ideas. There's
some people that like to get beat up, right, So
all the people that want to beat their wives, they
sign up for membership like a gym to go and
beat up someone else who wants to get beat up.
And so then they get their anger out and they
get they get to come.

Speaker 4 (30:05):
That's actually a good business idea. Wish it's pretty good.
How about start an LLC and and then we'll do
have you had? Have you ever had somebody love you
so much that they hit somebody else?

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Have I ever had? I hope so right? That'll be
flattering because when punched.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Somebody that was crazy.

Speaker 4 (30:26):
Are they still together to this day?

Speaker 3 (30:27):
You know, I don't believe that dude was crazy? Man
he broke into There was a beauty salon. They used
to be a beauty salon on First Street, and then
right next to it with a Lauingro matt and then
a little Asian store where they sold like meats, you know,
a grocery store for the projects.

Speaker 4 (30:45):
Like those like ninety supermarket was.

Speaker 3 (30:47):
Far, Bro, It was really far. So we had like
little little tiny markets in New York, the couples and
stock them they just called.

Speaker 4 (30:55):
Liquor stores, but the beanies and tea.

Speaker 3 (30:58):
But there was a beauty salon right and above the
there was a whole building, the top with apartments and
the bottom with businesses, liquor store in the corner whatever.
But it was all businesses, Chinese restaurant. So this fool,
this guy, Bro, he fucking did a home invasion and

(31:22):
he tied everybody up or kicked him out, I don't forget,
but the toy was that he tied everybody up huge
in the house and then got a sledgehammer and fuck
kid fucked up their house to get inside through the
beauty salon. Yeah, so he were, and then he just

(31:43):
jimmy down and he stole everything and went out the
front door, Bro, without sudden off the alarm or I
don't know, but I don't know he just because I
don't know why you go through all that trouble to
just fucking tie people up, and anyways, he got away
with it. He was crazy. This isn't that I grew
up in Man, What was Stockton.

Speaker 4 (32:02):
Like like that?

Speaker 2 (32:04):
I think similar, right, like similar, but so you said
he did that he like dug a hole to vagina
like but right, like yeah it was, but it was
for sexual reasons.

Speaker 4 (32:17):
Pussy makes it do crazy thing.

Speaker 2 (32:20):
It is.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
I could say this guy's last name, bro, but their legends, Bro,
everybody will know who they are.

Speaker 4 (32:25):
Yeah, you don't know. So like Stockton was like this,
and then when you moved to Austin it was very
different from Stockton.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
I love growing up in Stockton because well I moved
to Stockton when I was eleven. I grew up in Italy.
Really but what yeah, but Stockton really sketchy, right.

Speaker 4 (32:43):
But I didn't have That's a huge difference.

Speaker 3 (32:47):
Mona Ray, California to stocked In a difference too.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
Everywhere to Stockton is really different Stockton. I didn't know
Stockton was that bad until I went anywhere else.

Speaker 4 (32:58):
You laugh at Stockton here, I didn't think.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
It was that bad. I mean, you couldn't go to
the movie theaters after like four pm because there's like
shootings and stuff. But other than that, you know, oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
So.

Speaker 4 (33:12):
A lot of your homegirls were like a Cholas.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, I think I've always gotten along with Mexicans I
think culturally we're pretty similar. Yeah, Italians and Mexicans.

Speaker 4 (33:24):
The flag looks pretty similar.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
Yeah, you guys, your looks more Mexican though somehow you
got you did a little more extra.

Speaker 4 (33:31):
You have the ego, that's why you But also like
the language is pretty similar to Spanish and Italian.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
Both Catholic.

Speaker 4 (33:40):
We were all both Catholic.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
Uh, we're colonized by the Spaniard. They were colonized by
the Moores.

Speaker 4 (33:48):
Yeah, the Moors, the Moors is it.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
They're called that because they kept colonizing more more.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
The color. The Moores were like the people that colonized
Spain before Spain.

Speaker 4 (34:00):
And they're they're basically Arabian. So my high school, I
went to a hammer high school here in l A.
And it's called Hambra because there's a city in Spain
called a Hambra, and it was never heard of Hambra
and then uh so it was so there's not a
parking on Hambra and it was colonized by the Moors,
and that's what we're called the Mors and on Hambra
because the Moors, that's what There's a lot of uh,

(34:23):
a lot of Gypsies and uh, I don't know if
that's where you can say anymore. Yeah, I know it's
people say that, but but there's that band, the Gypsy Kings,
but also the word Yeah, but the word gypsy comes
from Egyptian originally Egyptian gypsy, and that's why there's a
lot of Arabian uh influence the brain down rizzle, yeah,

(34:43):
so to this day. So yeah, but that's all the
Gypsy Kings and uh, if you listen to the music
is Spanish, but there's like a lot of Arabian like influencing. Dude,
they're bad ass gypsy Kings. They have good music, Dude,
it's it's a good Spaniard band.

Speaker 3 (34:57):
So what are they called gypsies? Now? They don't call
them gypsy.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
Man, So a band just needs to have a surn it.
So if there was like a band that was called
words and we'd be able to say it, that's I mean.

Speaker 4 (35:08):
There is a band.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
Gypsy is not what they call They are called travelers.

Speaker 4 (35:13):
But Gypsy Kings were formed like in the in the seventies. Yeah,
peel spect there please in al Hambra. Yeah, feel spect there.
He's from Alhambra, the city.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
But there's Irish Gypsies too, Bro.

Speaker 4 (35:26):
There's a lot, dude. Yeah, there's a lot like my
h in the neighborhood al Hambro. There's so many Gypsies
and they're known for like giving. When this one time,
this gypsy family they paid us. They told me my
cousin will pay you guys ten dollars to go up
in the room and put Christmas trees Christmas lights. When
I fuck yeah, we went up there. We almost died
and then they just gave us ten bucks for the
both of us, like fucking shit. So the they are

(35:48):
Gypsy Kings, so they are a very popular band. So
they're actually really good. Yeah, Brook, they look like like
like a little Bookie.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
Holie, my dad's breath best friend.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
They kind of looks like my family to see. Italians
and Mexicans.

Speaker 4 (36:06):
Yeah, Spaniards, Okay, Bro, are they all related? Maybe? For
the longest, I thought fucking was Mexican. Bro for the longest,
because he came out in.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
A is he not?

Speaker 4 (36:19):
No, he's Spanish. Spanish, He's a Spaniard. He's a Spanish
fucking colonizer, Bro, But look at him. But he came
out of the movie The Mariachi right or he sings
the most popular like song for the what's it called
Mariachi or what's the movie called the Sparado Mightacchi song, Spacito,

(36:43):
the samhaik and samahaiks. She's actually she has a Lebanese origins.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
She's my sister.

Speaker 4 (36:52):
Yeah, a lot of look a look at it. See
like he's dressed like a fucking Mexican.

Speaker 3 (36:58):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (36:59):
Even Johnny alps Esperto too, and he was dressed as
a Mexican. I thought, Johnny that was Mexican.

Speaker 3 (37:06):
The whole time.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
Yeah, I feel like it's okay to do Mexican face.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
It seems like Mexican. Yeah, look at see he looks Mexican.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
Bro.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
Was Esprato too, Brook?

Speaker 4 (37:20):
Yeah, sexy motherfucker. I mean.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Yeah, because even not your libre Jack Black does Mexican face.

Speaker 4 (37:29):
Well, he in the movie, he's supposed to be half
his dad is a Mexican, and then his mom's like from.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
A oh you're a real notachal libra fan Bro.

Speaker 4 (37:41):
I'm defending that movie till I die. Okay, Once upon
a Time in Mexico is a sequel to The Spratto Bro,
that's what it is.

Speaker 5 (37:51):
Oh, I'm replied to Flip that was well, dude, tell
somebody else but Johnny Desperto is actually a sequel or
to Once Somebody's Out of Mexico, or it's a prequel
or something like that.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
I think it is no stupid bro, that movie.

Speaker 4 (38:08):
I've never seen it.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
But, uh, what's your favorite movie right now?

Speaker 4 (38:10):
Right now? My favorite movie? It's always been Uh. Actually,
I just saw I've been watching the hung Guy Read documentary.
It's really good, dude. I saw the Selena documentary last night,
the new one that came out on Netflix. I do
at the end of the movie, I wanted to he came.
I came and said, whoa, what happened?

Speaker 3 (38:30):
Did she die again?

Speaker 4 (38:31):
She keeps dying in every in every remake, but there's
so much unreleased footage that they showed in this documentary
is pretty good, dude. So yeah, Selena fucking Yolanda, she's
still alive.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (38:42):
She was supposed to die like two years ago electric Chair.
Why because she killed Selina for so.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
I actually don't know. I know that somebody killed her,
but I didn't know that.

Speaker 4 (38:58):
That bitch right there, that fucking.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
Little Egyptian kid.

Speaker 4 (39:02):
She looks like hah. So she was a president of
the Fant Club and she was like pocketing all the money. Yeah,
and I didn't. Comedians said, I forgot. Comedian said, but
she's the worst president of all time. She's a president
of the fan club of Selina.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
No, it's like Jesus Judas killed them and disciples.

Speaker 4 (39:24):
Look at that. What does that say? I can see
that far. Have you seen the movie I.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
Did a while ago. I don't remember Super I remember
like the end.

Speaker 4 (39:40):
Yeah, hm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
So Christie what a coincidence? Right?

Speaker 3 (39:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (39:50):
Because Christie is like christ.

Speaker 4 (39:53):
Yeah, she's she's up in heaven because I dream.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
Corpus Christia's body of christ. Oh right, it's miss Spanish.
Where are you guys going on?

Speaker 3 (40:06):
We went to Latin.

Speaker 4 (40:08):
We went to Corporus Christie a couple of years ago.
It is fund people party out there.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
People are pretty hard, like it was crazy. So that's
been the most fun place to go for Seattle.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
Well, I don't know, There's been a lot of really
fun places, but the ones where I went in and
everybody was telling me like, it's not you're not gonna
like it, and then I ended up liking it. The
Seattle I haven't done any of the Central Valley.

Speaker 4 (40:39):
But Presnel spawn Baker's will spawn to think.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
I like Seattle. I've been going through my whole life now.

Speaker 4 (40:52):
Seattle's found that really good food out there.

Speaker 3 (40:55):
The Neptune Theater, the Comedy Club, the Tacoma.

Speaker 4 (40:58):
Yeah. Portland's fun too.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
Yeah, I also liked your Portland. Really good weed in Portland.

Speaker 3 (41:04):
Great Boston.

Speaker 4 (41:05):
Boston. Boston was cool. Do you like Boston. We went
to a hockey game. It was cool.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
I forgot that. We went to a walking game.

Speaker 4 (41:13):
You guys.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
Favorite sport to watch hocke.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
I like the new one where they slap each other
and they got to hold on to the table slaps. Yeah, yeah,
that's a new one when they slap each other, well
you know where they take turns with the pillow fight.
That like. I like the new sports. I want to
support the new sports are coming out, you know.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Because there's new sports.

Speaker 4 (41:34):
Yeah, like the slap fight. That's a new one. Yeah, yeah,
they slap each other.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
Why is it that buff? Did they get that buff
from slapping too much?

Speaker 4 (41:43):
You had to be that buff to do you slap people?
Look at that? Yeah, yeah, you don't get You don't
want to get slapped by someone.

Speaker 3 (41:51):
That's all fat, huh that look at that? Dude?

Speaker 4 (41:56):
That is a sports. That's a sport, dude, those fucking
look at you get fucked up?

Speaker 3 (42:01):
Then I got sucked up. That guy you got you go.

Speaker 4 (42:04):
Oh my gosh, dude, they win. It might be a
sport in twenty twenty nine.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
You feel like that's gonna end up being a sport.
Slapping is a sport. I feel like farting is going
to be a sport, like who can fart the loudest?

Speaker 3 (42:15):
Who can find somebody's face and hold it?

Speaker 4 (42:18):
The pinky Olympics. That's a but but look at the
clips online. There's actually a page and it's very it's.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
Very what if it's like who can do it first?
Kind of like like the Old West, but with farts.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
There's not a fight with l l la la la la.

Speaker 4 (42:40):
That fool and knocked them out. Oh it's a compliction.
I love this, dude. Look at that. Oh my gosh.
But see people actually are able to take the slaps.
You know, if you grew up with like by the
mom you already mean to this ship. Dude, look at
these guys.

Speaker 3 (42:55):
But what if like like they're getting slapped off, palm right, yeah, fingers.

Speaker 4 (43:01):
You can't slap, so they covered they plug your ears
up because they don't want to give you an ear.
What's it called you're you're not infection, but you're hearing aids.
Hearing aids, not the aids. But sorry, my way, my parking. Yeah,

(43:26):
you're really bring that bitch to Thanksgiving? Fuck you.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
Hey, dude, ladies, fake out agnology.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
This is where all the guys who can't hit their
wives go. Now, this is what you're talking about. This
is their release idea. Somebody already did it is where
you're going.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
Yeah, that's a that's a guy from the comedian Major
Laser right there again from.

Speaker 4 (44:00):
Lost Uncle.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
Bro, you know, like a Horsey at that.

Speaker 4 (44:06):
He's majestic as like that Uncle Laser. Right, that's him
right there getting But you know.

Speaker 3 (44:10):
The best slap pis Bro, the one in the subway
by with that guy from the eight ball Jacket.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
See. I like the sport look and they have good
fucking sponsors to look at the floor. Look at that
fucking dairy queen.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
My way.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
I like that. They just called it slack.

Speaker 6 (44:29):
Philippa was right there now hold up, they should way
go back. They show Philippa right now, hold up where
maw we from fucking Molana Holmie. Oh that's fucking. That's
fucking the.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
Guy from uh London brother turning the fish gate from
loved God.

Speaker 4 (44:53):
That guys are bigger back then.

Speaker 3 (44:56):
Five between comedy owners. Bro, guy, that guy's head a.

Speaker 4 (45:02):
Buch No, you can't you can't find us.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
Funk you up, bro, little hair.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
Bro, feel like those are Guy Karen's.

Speaker 4 (45:10):
I don't know those are guys. These guy guys will
call the cops on you for sucking not taking out
your Christmas lights, you.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Know, like.

Speaker 4 (45:19):
H o a homies. You know that's right there.

Speaker 3 (45:22):
They're turning the fish gay boom bro, he tasted that one.

Speaker 4 (45:27):
It's like it's like they're fucking making tortillas before with
the fucking the powder and then sucking. Boom boom Bro.
That's your aunt slapping your other hand.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
You know why do they get on those stakes? So
if you let those stakes, you lose.

Speaker 4 (45:39):
I think you're supposed to hold that for a pressure
to so you know, like when you like, this is the.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
Two hospital workers fighting each other. I told you one
of the girl cheese sandwich.

Speaker 4 (45:49):
Yes, that's a that's the mayor from New York, the
one right there. I like, what's his name?

Speaker 3 (45:57):
Mark, Norman, bro, I got slap. I can't look at
where is he going with my order? I ordered too?

Speaker 4 (46:06):
I ordered two baby donuts.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
I wanted a history, right they.

Speaker 4 (46:17):
Look that's.

Speaker 3 (46:19):
How you do it?

Speaker 4 (46:20):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, look mean and ship two.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
You look kind of sad to me. They're sad. They're like, please,
just I need to feel something.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
He can't get.

Speaker 4 (46:31):
That's the only way they can come like that.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
They're just practicing. That's like, so do you think they
get to slap them back or.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
You slap the Back's so you get to slap the bag.
You gotta get up before, dude.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
It looks like a fucking team overage to get into this,
like as opposed to anything else. There's no training how
it's like skydiving.

Speaker 4 (46:56):
Let the bank around school.

Speaker 3 (46:57):
They look at their bank account and they're negative one
hundred and twenty dollars.

Speaker 4 (47:02):
Domestic violence. What's it called? Records there?

Speaker 3 (47:06):
The manager goes up to it or listen and you've
lost a UFC. You've lost that pickleball. You've lost Oh
he took it.

Speaker 4 (47:14):
You can't fight some moments. I told you, bro, that's
Kevin James right there.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
What if the way they got recruited. Is like they
saw them slap their wife in public and everyone's terrified.
But then there's one like a scoundary yeah, and he's like, you've.

Speaker 4 (47:27):
Got potential, let me recruit. I like what you did
out there.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Yeah yeah exactly, Like, man, you have a really good arm.
You should come do the sport. His wife's on the floor,
just like help me. It's like, no, come over, your kid.
You got a bright future ahead of you.

Speaker 4 (47:44):
You have moxy kid. He took that fucking yeah, yeah
that's what again. I was supposed to make all the
all sandwiches for his kids. Fucking baseball team.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
Where's a horn punch?

Speaker 4 (47:57):
Yeah? You got moxy kid. I like that you slapped you. See.
I can't make jokes about women getting You can make jokes.

Speaker 3 (48:03):
About show women getting slap fighting.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
Slap women's slap fighting.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
Yeah, let's know they had a bud slap contest.

Speaker 4 (48:11):
How does that work?

Speaker 3 (48:12):
Well, a girl showed her butt and another girl slaps.

Speaker 4 (48:14):
It hard, really like the one like take that boom.
I told you, Sarah, my husband hits me for fun
and just getting Maybe they can't take it. You know,
they all look like my queens, my kings, my Queen's.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
Oh that she saidd to fight? Man, what's wrong with you? Look?
Would you do this if you're not doing stand?

Speaker 4 (48:42):
This is not when you're thinks in the buckets.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
No, I do not. I would not like to get
slapped in the face now, even I think.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
The most slap watch ever watched. I never watched it.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
Whoa, why why are they? Why did they sign up for?

Speaker 3 (48:56):
Why?

Speaker 2 (48:57):
I just want to know why?

Speaker 4 (48:58):
What is the what is the rice money on this?
You know?

Speaker 3 (49:02):
Well they all get a big purse. That's taste kudo
on it.

Speaker 4 (49:08):
It's like that will be the burning band, you know,
with Fara faucet.

Speaker 3 (49:12):
They get two thousand dollars. Bro.

Speaker 4 (49:13):
That is nothing, Bro for the medical.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
The medical is more than that.

Speaker 4 (49:17):
Right, Yes, you gotta go to fuck Tejuana to get
fucking fixed up for this ship. Dude, that is not
two thousand dollars a show. You know, I'm honestly go
there with sponsors. I don't know, dude. Way, Oh your
your YouTube at plaque.

Speaker 3 (49:33):
Bloody elbow? What's on full parking? We have Christina right here? Man,
funny ass comedian.

Speaker 4 (49:39):
From Austin, originally from Stockton, originally from Italy. It so
do you like Olive Garden?

Speaker 3 (49:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (49:50):
I like the unlimited breadsticks and soup and salad.

Speaker 4 (49:54):
See, it's like us, we love Taco Bell, you know. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
I don't know why people it's never actually people from
Italy or Mexico are hating on these things. It's always
white people that want to be different. They don't like
pineapple and pizza. That's good too, by the way that
I like it. Yeah, scientifically, sweetness enhances saltiness. I watched
the documentary.

Speaker 4 (50:15):
There's a science behind it.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
Dude.

Speaker 4 (50:18):
The best thing in Olive Garden is a salad.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
It is. It's really good and the soup's good too.

Speaker 4 (50:23):
I went there. I had the limitus agrea one time.

Speaker 3 (50:25):
Oh to do that?

Speaker 4 (50:26):
I got fucked up, bro, you fucking eating bread sticks
and uh Alfredo and not Fredo the guy.

Speaker 3 (50:31):
But I went to all the New Orleans and and
don't get mad. But mainly I went to that cheesecat pastory.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
I like cheesecake fas.

Speaker 4 (50:39):
I love Felipa. We went to beat a cheesecake factory
in Hawaii.

Speaker 3 (50:45):
That's the best one.

Speaker 4 (50:46):
We were in Hawaii, Hawaii.

Speaker 3 (50:50):
We went to a cheesecare factory with fucking levery bubbles
brown because and they made a fucking a mohito bro. Yeah,
and then around the around the thing they put coconut
coconut salt that we'll just instead of fucking you know,
step putting salt, the rim was covering coconut.

Speaker 4 (51:10):
Oh yeah, yeah. We also ate a Duke's Dukes is
very good in that Hawaiian restaurant.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
What's lessa means that.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
Lisa, that's his our wife, the producer, she's outside watching us.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
I don't know if we were supposed to pretend like
the that didn't exist.

Speaker 4 (51:26):
So oh no, you can look at the comments and
even like call it out.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
Oh okay, oh.

Speaker 3 (51:31):
Look now that one of our opening for the Larry
Bubble bro.

Speaker 4 (51:34):
He was a legend in the eighties. He's still a
legend today. He actually did the Tonight No Letterman Letterman
Show in the eighties.

Speaker 3 (51:42):
And then he did again in two thousand.

Speaker 4 (51:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
Yeah, hi Francisco.

Speaker 4 (51:46):
Oh not like that Francisco.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
He had a bunch of jokes, just like you do,
like all joke riding mubble rounds. Yeah, a good writer.

Speaker 4 (51:54):
He's a legend. He's been at the same apartment for
like forty years because he's what's it called the he's
a ren control recontrol. So he's been so in San Francisco.
His apartment pays like five hundred bucks a month, but
because he hasn't moved out, uh, they try to kick
him out or they try they're waying from to die
so they can't charge.

Speaker 3 (52:14):
Like fucking everybody around him is paying seven grand yea
months and he had a parking garage.

Speaker 4 (52:19):
So he's faking up the San Francisco.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
He's sucking up ship speaking of losing apartments. Shut out
to Bob's Donuts in San Francisco. No, they're closing no, yeah,
the coronut, the cronuts, Bro, after fucking twenty four hours opening,
they're fucking closing their doors and they're moving down to

(52:41):
Oak Street. But that's the original one Bob's Donut. You're
in San Francisco, but I haven't been to two big
fat donut, this big.

Speaker 4 (52:52):
They created the cronut.

Speaker 3 (52:53):
Yeah, look dot and then one that one whole rack
just vegan.

Speaker 4 (52:58):
That's a big donut, Bro Simpson. That's a wheel, Yeah yeah,
that's that's actually a spur wheel.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
You can put a Chinese birthday cake.

Speaker 4 (53:09):
The Chinese birthday cake.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
That place is fucking good.

Speaker 4 (53:14):
Man, it's so good your car. Your car might get
jacked the fucking doggy.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
It's okay, you can build a car.

Speaker 4 (53:22):
Give me more breadth. It's like something called the fucking
wreck around.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
I'm happy. Stephen pointed that out. Everybody always spells my
name wrong, even clubs. Sometimes. Have you ever shown up
to a club and they have your name spelled wrong
all the time.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
See that's even poster at that festival. But I didn't
say anything.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
What was it on there?

Speaker 3 (53:41):
I'll just give it away.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
Yeah, because it's spelled the like Latin without the H.
The H is redundant to Why do you need an
H in there?

Speaker 3 (53:53):
Christ?

Speaker 4 (53:54):
Christ?

Speaker 2 (53:55):
Like an Italian? It's Cristo. It doesn't have the.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
Eight to man.

Speaker 4 (54:01):
Yeah, it's my name, my last name. It has two z's.
My last name is one z. That's the fucking Mexican Rizzo.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
Dude, you're like raised.

Speaker 3 (54:13):
Your name is actually Choiso Bro. That's why.

Speaker 4 (54:17):
My kid cho Cho Riso bro yea one homie spell
one z bro.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
Your real name is Martin cho.

Speaker 4 (54:28):
The Chorizos. But I did my ancestry. Actually, it's funny
because they keep updating the ancestry all the time. You
get that where they're like, guess what, there's more to
your DNA. How come you to find this before?

Speaker 3 (54:39):
You know?

Speaker 4 (54:39):
So, I'm actually two percent Italian.

Speaker 3 (54:41):
Every year, every year if I make more money. They
had another person Anglo blood, I mean.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
Little Italian is the lowest of the white.

Speaker 3 (54:53):
Like in terms of the spectrum, they got me eleven
percent Greek Italian bro on the ancestral DNA.

Speaker 4 (55:02):
Your dress like landlord bro Bro. I'm just like, but yeah,
so it just tried it like Italent. To me, it's
always been like a lot of like Native American, uh, Spanish, and.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Then yeah, what are they confused about?

Speaker 4 (55:19):
Well, Francisco, what was she talking about?

Speaker 2 (55:22):
The spectrum thing? Like, I think it's really like it's
like Europe. The further up you are in Europe, the
wider the people. Then the further down you get closer
to Africa Italy, it gets and the.

Speaker 4 (55:33):
Food gets better, the spy, more spices. Yeah, yeah, he's
got you got some You got some Polynesian in you.
I can see that some African. I got one percent
African in me.

Speaker 3 (55:48):
Hell yeah, we're all pirates here, Yeah we are what
some food podcast? We have the very funny Christina Marianni here,
very funny. I think you actually go check out all
her YouTube stuff. She's very funny. Man, great joke writing.
Oh my god, I told one of your jokes to

(56:09):
this old lady that kept bothering me with cheesy ass jokes.
She shut her up. Who really, Yeah, because she kept
telling me like, she kept saying these jokes man, like
I'm a comedian too, you know one of those people.

Speaker 4 (56:24):
I hate those people.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
Yeah. So she was telling me that. I don't know, man,
they were all playing words. Bro, they were not funny,
but that's to laugh to be nice. We're standing in
line together. Something about Boby. That's a guy with a
man with no arm, with no legs you're throwing in
the water. His name is Bob bobbing.

Speaker 6 (56:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:47):
Yeah, she was throwing me jokes like that. Yeah. And
a girl in one leg Eileen, Oh I heard that one. Yeah.
So the joke about one of the comedians, and I
told the joke about the hanger.

Speaker 6 (56:58):
Bro.

Speaker 3 (56:59):
She shut it up. She said, that's dark.

Speaker 4 (57:02):
What's the joke?

Speaker 2 (57:04):
I don't know? Should I say?

Speaker 3 (57:07):
Okay, well you don't have to look for it.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
Oh yeah, make him it was really good.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
Yeah, it looks for Christina Rihanna. My mind used to
be middle of the cloth Hager bit hilarious. Yeah, how
do you like how much time you spent writing and
going over your jokes or do you Yeah?

Speaker 2 (57:35):
First question, Oh, I'm very all over the place. So
some days I just skip, like I want to write,
and then I don't make myself and I sabotage myself.
And then some days I'll just write all day. Were
kind of I'm trying to every day I write a
little bit at least so I feel good about myself.
But some days I'll spend like obsessively like hours writing

(57:59):
and everyone. And some times, like the other day, I
was just doom scrolling most of the day and then
at the end I thought of a joke like and
I tried it and it was good. So sometimes I
think I wasted a day, but maybe something happened behind
the scenes. I don't know how it works.

Speaker 4 (58:14):
Your brain Your brain is marinating, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
I don't know. Well, how long do you guys? What's
your guys? This process?

Speaker 3 (58:24):
Me? I do the I do my hour on stage,
and the next day I listen to it the whole thing,
like three times five times a day. Yeah, and that
out of mind. Man. I listen to it when I
go for a walk. I listen to it. I three times,
and then I started coming up with tags and then
new jokes come up and I change everything around. And

(58:47):
I've been doing it for the last I remember.

Speaker 2 (58:50):
I feel like every time I listened to my set,
I always learned something. But I'm like this the whole time.

Speaker 4 (58:57):
Oh I hate it.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
I know I have to, and I I've gotten better
about doing it. Uh. Joe Rogan calls it eating your vegetables,
like you're listening to your set. It's like, because it's
good for you, but I don't know.

Speaker 3 (59:10):
Yeah, it was a lot of vegetables. I don't think
he should be vegan.

Speaker 4 (59:18):
Carnivore diary baby, No. But yeah, it's good to hear
listen you said, because it's basically it's like you're just
watching over your It's like giving yourself constructive criticism, you know,
and like, yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
But I noticed all these things and I'm like, oh,
I didn't know I was doing that.

Speaker 4 (59:32):
That's because you're like, okay, let me see.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
Yeah, yeah, but just seeing it, like, oh god, you're
so cringey. What are you doing, you know, like just
seeing yourself. I don't know, I get like a visceral
reaction when I see myself look at some of.

Speaker 4 (59:45):
My old sets, I'm like, fuck.

Speaker 3 (59:49):
Something. I go back to to like the horrible at
crowd work, like.

Speaker 4 (59:57):
Really bad bro you've mentioned on stage.

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
Asked the guy at the commerce to where you're from.
He said, Toronto, Toronto, Canada. And the first ticket of
my mother was fuck you and the Blue Jays that
everybody start laughing for no reason, and I said, I'm sorry,
sound horrible fucking crowd.

Speaker 2 (01:00:20):
That makes it funnier.

Speaker 4 (01:00:21):
I think, yeah, yeah, that's funny. If you pointed out
that's that's super hilarious.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
But I'm not like some people are quick because they
know like, oh, what do you do for a living?
Then they have a job and they know that what's
kind of job? That is my audience? You know. I
realized that they have technical jobs that I don't know
what they are.

Speaker 7 (01:00:41):
MultiMate advisor or they have multiple jobs job advise with
big words are hey, bro, what's up for me?

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
Of Christina here Man.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
Mari, how come you guys keep doing that?

Speaker 6 (01:00:56):
That?

Speaker 4 (01:00:56):
That's our catchphrase because the podcast What's I Feel Crazy?

Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
Happened for people are here too.

Speaker 4 (01:01:05):
What's so fool? You gotta say it?

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
What's up? Fool?

Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
What's up?

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
Fool? Man? You have you're from Sacramento, man, you say, right,
what's up?

Speaker 4 (01:01:15):
What's fools? What's up?

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
Fools?

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
Did you?

Speaker 4 (01:01:18):
Did you ever date some cholos out there?

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
I don't know is that that's not all mexicancholes.

Speaker 4 (01:01:25):
No, I mean some of them are, but not all
of them. You know, some are, you know, like like
like us, you know, we're like regular Mexicans, you know,
but like.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
What's the difference.

Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
I think I think everybody and I just think that
everybody in Socket is solo, you know, by default. What
does that mean? You didn't explain like a Mexican gang banger.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
You know, or or I kind of like white trash
like Mexican.

Speaker 4 (01:01:42):
It's a Mexican white trash. Yeah. So it's kind of
like what'll show homie, Like those kinds of food you
date those kind of guys, what's show homie?

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
I think I dated it well adjusted homie, like like
somebody that just like that wasn't like.

Speaker 4 (01:01:56):
I mean I was friends with like those homies right.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
There, yes, but like I dated one that was like
he jelled his hair.

Speaker 4 (01:02:05):
Oh you're like okay, so.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Like back like like he jelled it, which I actually thought,
but that was like nice, you know, like when when
a guy jaels his hair. I don't know, do you
guys think that's you guys don't have your hair jailed?

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
No, I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:02:18):
I don't know because our hair is a little bit
longer than these homies right here. You know, so these
guys are like more like kind of like you probably
did like a reform trollo, you know, somebody who kind
of got in trouble is that you had to get
a ship, you know, straight, but maybe like those kind
of guys right there. Mm hmmm, I got right there.
We're gonna we're gonna keep looking at a picture so
you find that no Edgar is with the.

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
Bowl cut is Yeah, I don't know more about your
culture than I got there. Uh No, it wasn't like that.

Speaker 4 (01:02:47):
We're gonna keep We're gonna keep looking until you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:50):
Those guys, those guys who give you a hickey over
the phone.

Speaker 4 (01:02:53):
Bro, I want that guy there. It's like like a no,
it was why do this?

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
Uh yeah, give you a career? The want squeeze your
neck what give you kisses? And I want you to
show me a picture that he gets just made over
the phone, will.

Speaker 4 (01:03:10):
Show HOMEI mm hmm. You ever somebody like as one
of these fools ever giving you a hickey like these
kind of foods?

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
Is it hicky spelled h e q U e h
I h.

Speaker 3 (01:03:25):
I c k y. Yeah, but she's gonna be a
hickey contest as conka fesst see.

Speaker 4 (01:03:31):
That should be like like instead of slap contents like
the hickey contest.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
Well, we'll have a hickey contest, bro, like five chicks,
two guys, and we'll get a white dude with a
world clean white neck, and they gonna do hickeys on him, bro,
and then we judge them.

Speaker 4 (01:03:44):
Yeah, I see like how that it's basically yeah, it's
like I actually hate hickeys.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
I hate getting you'll be a judge, You be a judge.

Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
It just feels like they're actually.

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
What's the biggest hickey you ever had on your neck?

Speaker 4 (01:03:56):
In high school? There's one guy I dated, She gave
me the nastiest hickey.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
Beat your ass.

Speaker 4 (01:04:02):
My mom thought somebody punched me in the throat. That's
what That's how bad I look. That's how nasty and
look hopie, you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:08):
Know, like you should see the other guy. Yeah, like
it was a punch on his penis.

Speaker 4 (01:04:14):
My ax was crazy, Bro. It looked like he looked
really bad.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (01:04:19):
I remember we had a homie who like try to
fool of us, trying to fool us that he had
a girlfriend because he gave up. He had hickey on
his shoulder. Like, motherfucker, you gave yourself that hickey.

Speaker 3 (01:04:28):
You know, Like.

Speaker 4 (01:04:30):
She goes to a different high school. Shut up, bro,
Like there's always those guys that my girl goes to different.

Speaker 3 (01:04:36):
That I found out. I had a wallet and I
kept the people that were in it. Bro. I bought
a wallet and then the wallet there were like these
three hot chase by the beach, and then it came
with my wallet and I kept it in it. Bro,
And I would be like my friend would be like jork,
stands up. Brother. They would look at it was my summer.

(01:04:58):
But you you were you wouldn't the projects of somewhere.
For when did you meet this kid? It was that
one time I took the bus to Bennett Beach.

Speaker 4 (01:05:06):
I took the bus and I didn't pull the string
and I just kept going.

Speaker 3 (01:05:10):
So you're married.

Speaker 4 (01:05:11):
No, No, do you ever give me any hickeys or
you ever given some hickey like crazy to mark your territory.

Speaker 3 (01:05:23):
No, are you heading hickey right now, bro with that hoodie. No,
you can do it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
Actually, you know what, I've mischievously given hickeys where it's
like I know they have to go somewhere, and then
I'm just.

Speaker 4 (01:05:34):
Like, oh really, And then you try to like their
girlfriend's house.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
Yeah, like they have I'm like, oh, you're no, but
like I don't know, just to be a little ship.

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
You had hickey's. And then you tell your girlfriend that
I lie about how you got them, so she wanted
to another girl left them.

Speaker 4 (01:05:51):
No, no, you tell us what I had.

Speaker 3 (01:05:56):
A girl told me that bro, that she was asleep
all drunk and her and her friend got a vacuum
clean that was messing around.

Speaker 4 (01:06:03):
Okay, dude, that you're you're you're girl.

Speaker 3 (01:06:06):
Cheating on glasses and broken in half. That is not what.

Speaker 4 (01:06:12):
Doesn't give hickeys. And word no, because we're in we're
in our thirty Nobody gives hickeys in their thirties anymore.
That's like embarrassing. That's like only like.

Speaker 3 (01:06:21):
People from Wilmington, California, get hickeys in their sixties. That
is ghetto at Wilmington, California. They gang bang to their
eighty or o there Broa they either die in a
drive by shooting or they die. Working on the docks
at the.

Speaker 4 (01:06:39):
Fucking Wilmington is like a It's like a in the
South Bay. It's kind of a.

Speaker 3 (01:06:42):
Womington where all the Mexican live who work in the
in the and the what do they call the place
where the fucking loading dogs.

Speaker 4 (01:06:51):
The loading dock.

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
It's the docks, Yeah, the loading docks.

Speaker 4 (01:06:55):
So it's basically like the most beach area of LA.

Speaker 3 (01:07:00):
It's kind of yeah. They work loading unloading boats.

Speaker 4 (01:07:02):
Off days, like San Pedro area on the waterfront.

Speaker 3 (01:07:04):
Mexicans. Yeah, like they control the whole area right there,
everything that comes in, all the shipping. They work two
hours two days out of the month and they get
paid mad money.

Speaker 4 (01:07:16):
So it's like it's like Carolina Carolina Island kind.

Speaker 3 (01:07:20):
Of people who live in that area bro San Pedro, Wilmington,
they can tell you how many times they've been to
downtown LA.

Speaker 4 (01:07:29):
I've been there once, because even though it's not that
far from to l A, it's like it's.

Speaker 3 (01:07:34):
It baffles me that you live in Los Angeles or Nero.
They can never go there, like people from sam Piedro,
like San Pedro, Cabrillo Beach, fucking even Hawthorn Harbor area,
like they only go to They only go to LA
to get into fights, to Dodger Stadium.

Speaker 4 (01:07:55):
Yeah, that's what you're doing. Are you are a Giants fan?

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
Shout out to mc pancho, bro mc.

Speaker 4 (01:08:02):
Pancho from San Pedro. He's like an old school rapper.
His CD or his cassette somehow got so he was
like a he was a rapper in the eighties, like
a Chicago rapper, and his cassette might have gotten like
I think, I think he put his I did he put.

Speaker 3 (01:08:14):
His his cassettes in like in the in the h
he put his cassette one of those packages brought in
a minute of China.

Speaker 4 (01:08:21):
And minute to Japan, and he became he blew up
in Japan because Japan Japanese, Japanese.

Speaker 3 (01:08:27):
People love friend. We had on our podcast that at
the MT so he blew up. He like a foody
of that area.

Speaker 4 (01:08:33):
We're talking about San Pedro, and I didn't think.

Speaker 3 (01:08:36):
I didn't think San Pietro having had the many restaurants
opened that late.

Speaker 4 (01:08:40):
Dude, there's a lot because it's by the beach Man.
So like his his CD blew up in Japan, Like
is his CD that he made in the eighties blew
up in Japan like in the two thousands, Like it
was a malfunction or just I think he just kept
put it in CDs inside the what's it called the
what's called the viral containing those containers and they made
it to Japan. And then yeah, so he's big in

(01:09:01):
Japan right now.

Speaker 2 (01:09:02):
Oh so interesting?

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
What show? Hold? What's your Instagram? People can follow you
c R I, I M a r II And you
have shows coming up like a Los Angeles.

Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
Yeah, next month I have a show at the Comedy Store.

Speaker 3 (01:09:19):
Are you paid regular yet?

Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
No, I've just been I've been here for the past month,
just kind of doing spots and yeah, like I yeah,
I love LA.

Speaker 4 (01:09:30):
Are you are you going back home for the Four
Things Giving?

Speaker 2 (01:09:33):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (01:09:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
I think so. Hell yeah, dude, it's funny because Italians,
I don't know, the Mexican celebrate Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 (01:09:40):
We love it.

Speaker 2 (01:09:41):
Yeah, it's not really an Italian thing.

Speaker 4 (01:09:43):
No, we love it, dude. And and we fuck it
up by adding we just we just add our fucking Mexican.

Speaker 2 (01:09:49):
Pasta and Joki and do all that too. It's just
an excuse to eat food. And then we put like
a turkey because it's.

Speaker 3 (01:09:56):
Now they make the turkey and they make everything, and
they also make now a side of Mom's spaghetti.

Speaker 4 (01:10:03):
Bro, yeah you do that too, No if you don't,
but you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:07):
Have to make spaghetti with red sauce and meat for Thanksgiving? No,
we have, bro. Well look look Thanksgiving pasta.

Speaker 4 (01:10:14):
Do you guys see the manus for Thanksgiving?

Speaker 3 (01:10:16):
She's Italian?

Speaker 4 (01:10:16):
Bro, I don't know if it made a cross.

Speaker 3 (01:10:22):
No, not that one. See put up black family Thanksgiving spaghetti.

Speaker 4 (01:10:28):
Minolki's are my favorite, dude.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
Do I like dragons? Yeah? Who doesn't. It's like dinosaurs,
but with wings. It's like a caterpillar versus a butterfly.

Speaker 3 (01:10:38):
I don't go out there boom, that's a that's spaghetti
bro for Thanksgiving.

Speaker 4 (01:10:45):
So we we add like I feel different cultures out
there things, you know, because like when I go to
like STEP's family, it's all Filipino and it's like all
it's like loom piano like that. I love it, dude,
I love mixtures, you know, and you guys ad.

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
The yolki and pasta and just like cold cuts, deviled eggs.

Speaker 3 (01:11:02):
My mom.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:11:09):
Do you believe in ghost mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (01:11:11):
You do, Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 2 (01:11:14):
I was raised Catholic, so I believe in a lot
of stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:11:17):
You believe in stuff like that.

Speaker 3 (01:11:18):
Yeah, you've seen it.

Speaker 4 (01:11:19):
Ghost bro never either. I mean I've gotten ghosted before.
I've ghosted before too, So like.

Speaker 3 (01:11:27):
Shut up to this guy right here, Brouch McLeod. Now,
I know why your name always pops up in my head.
And I didn't know this, but somebody emailed me recently
named Butch McLeod and I thought it was Busch McLeod
from our podcast. But if not Busch McLoud, this is
actually a black guy named Busch McCloud that I used
to work for wacken Hut security guards. And he was

(01:11:50):
a dispatcher at the wacken Hut security So if I like,
I would call it manage Philippe's barter checking in right.
This is Charles, all right, this is Charles. Okay, this
is Charles. This is Charles. So finally I got to
work in the office and I got to media's fools,
black ass bro. He was black, he was cool, and
he was a big ass nerd bro. We to talk

(01:12:11):
about the Highlander and he loves the Highlander because of
his last name McLeod. So I always thought it was
this fool, but now, man, this guy's met a straight
up Miklo from northern California and my homie, Charles McLeod.
If you're listening to the podcast, now welcome to the
what'saw Ful Family.

Speaker 4 (01:12:31):
So when we say Miklow is basically like like a
white homie that grew up blood, you're a Mikla. You know,
you're a bro.

Speaker 6 (01:12:39):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:12:40):
Yeah, it's sucked and that is So that's Mikla. You
guys se Blood and Blood at It's like the best
Disney movie ever.

Speaker 3 (01:12:46):
So that's our god That's our Godfather movie.

Speaker 4 (01:12:49):
That is our Godfather movie.

Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
So do you guys get annoyed by Miklas.

Speaker 3 (01:12:54):
No, we won't get annoyed by kids the.

Speaker 2 (01:12:59):
W word right like with like black people with white
people that like try to be blacks.

Speaker 4 (01:13:05):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
That's why I didn't.

Speaker 3 (01:13:06):
Say it to Watsonville.

Speaker 4 (01:13:09):
Man, It's the pepper, The pepper Italian food free yeah,
I love I love it, dude.

Speaker 3 (01:13:16):
Watsonville man, shout out to Watchingilla man. There's there's a
lot of beautiful women in Wattonville, California.

Speaker 4 (01:13:22):
Where's that?

Speaker 3 (01:13:22):
But they all get married after high school?

Speaker 2 (01:13:24):
Bro?

Speaker 4 (01:13:24):
Because there's nobody. There's nobody like us there.

Speaker 3 (01:13:26):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (01:13:27):
That's why I'll just get sorry. I don't know what
with short legs, Yes, exactly. There's no fucking little homes.

Speaker 3 (01:13:36):
The last short leg people in Watchingville.

Speaker 2 (01:13:37):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:13:39):
I want to say, I want to promote something before
we leave next Thursday on the twenty fifth, Is there
a Thursday on the twenty fifth of November. I'm gonna
be restaurant. Make it to Mondays in this basically in
the city there. I'm gonna be giving away free food
to the people that are in the neighborhoods. If you
come down join us for our annual free breakfast. Every

(01:14:02):
year they give away free breakfast. Andro they make their
own castle Fresco. Homie. It's fucking good, dude. It's in
the city of La Puente. So come on down the
twenty fifth Thanksgiving from seven to eleven am. So I'm
gonna be out there serving food to the people.

Speaker 3 (01:14:17):
So I'm doing a show in Solano Beach, or a
Lajomie with a fortune Thimster, Oh she's fine, and Eddie
Iift and Brad Williams. I forgot who else. People always
tell me, Philippe, you should get healthy. But if they
knew my age, and they knew that I'm like ten

(01:14:41):
years fifteen years older than them, and they know that
I'm vegan, they should know that I already outlived your father. Yeah, dude,
I outlived your father, Bro, I'd done the things.

Speaker 4 (01:14:56):
Every time I tell people you're vegan, they're like, what really? Why?

Speaker 3 (01:15:00):
Like cheat water every day? I don't drink alcohol?

Speaker 2 (01:15:04):
Or tortilla's vegan.

Speaker 4 (01:15:06):
No, it depends on the way you make tortilla.

Speaker 3 (01:15:08):
What killed Mexicans? Every day tortillas get wrapped around our
heart like that alien.

Speaker 6 (01:15:13):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (01:15:14):
Yeah, yeah, totilla is.

Speaker 3 (01:15:17):
Like bread for you guys. Bro, Yes, that we did
tortilla and wine.

Speaker 4 (01:15:22):
What what, I've never done that before. Tortillas are very
That's like Mexico, like the there's like a big what's
it called cholesterol problem because people love coca cola and tortillas.
You know, because if you think about a Mexican food's
pretty healthy because it's just actually me, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:15:40):
Like Italian food, right, it's like me, but I think
if you grew up on it then you're okay.

Speaker 4 (01:15:46):
But also I feel you Italy everybody walks around, right,
Nobody like fucking.

Speaker 2 (01:15:52):
Yeah, people walk around every Whey.

Speaker 4 (01:15:54):
Bicycles too, you know, yeah, because because that's the culture.
You get a bottle of wine and bread and cheese.
Then you write to your little cottage and then yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:16:02):
Yeah, you just like walk and people are healthy, I think.

Speaker 4 (01:16:05):
And that's in Mexico. But just we have so much
fucking bundles and.

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
I think bread is better than tortillas.

Speaker 4 (01:16:12):
Not to be your bread, the Italian bread, because we
have like sweet bread and like that ship.

Speaker 3 (01:16:16):
Foks you up are sweet bread, not really sweet, it's not.

Speaker 4 (01:16:20):
It's like mostly just it's like the layer, the top layer,
and that the rest is like all like.

Speaker 2 (01:16:24):
Fucking you guys just took a slice of bread and
you were like.

Speaker 4 (01:16:28):
Put sugar on top.

Speaker 2 (01:16:29):
Of no, just squish it so it it's it becomes paper.
You've made paper from a bread.

Speaker 3 (01:16:37):
You have a Christmas tree?

Speaker 4 (01:16:38):
H hell yeah, dude, ready for things given next week?

Speaker 3 (01:16:41):
Bro, when you put it up in October.

Speaker 4 (01:16:43):
But it's also a fake Christmas tree.

Speaker 3 (01:16:45):
When did you put it up?

Speaker 2 (01:16:46):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:16:47):
Probably a week after Halloween.

Speaker 3 (01:16:49):
Your Christmas tree up already.

Speaker 4 (01:16:51):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:16:51):
I mean, I guess I thought you meant. My mom's
probably is. That's who I count. She decorates.

Speaker 3 (01:16:58):
You gotta put a wreath around your your tre or pasta,
ornaments or canolas to Santa Claus come with another gun
or what motto?

Speaker 4 (01:17:14):
And the best canolius I had was in Monoray, California.

Speaker 3 (01:17:18):
Oh yeah, do Italians who are familiarly do look? Do
they do like American Italian? Like this motherfuckers? Not Italian.
That's where Mexican. Look at uscuse right hear to everybody
else and not Mexican like you, all white people were Mexican,
but to Mexico, Mexican, Mexicans were considered like no American,

(01:17:43):
no Mexican. Straight up.

Speaker 2 (01:17:46):
They can always recog like they recognize, they.

Speaker 3 (01:17:49):
Know right away that we're not from Mexico once we're
in Mexico.

Speaker 4 (01:17:54):
Because we're actually the.

Speaker 3 (01:17:56):
Way we walk and we have stronger bone structure.

Speaker 2 (01:17:59):
And they do the track suit.

Speaker 3 (01:18:02):
YESU like like Mexico. Like people in Mexico like their
milk has less vitamins than the one in America. Like
when they see us, they go down, you are eating
like three times a day. No, we're eating normal, motherfucker.
It's that the arch had more steroids.

Speaker 4 (01:18:19):
More hormones because what's it called.

Speaker 3 (01:18:25):
So man, we get we get bigger because in America
and we have a c guess what we turn.

Speaker 4 (01:18:31):
It on In Mexico, Bro, every uber driving in Mexico
wouldn't turnround their ac they just kept their windows down.
And it's funny because in Mexico, so we're.

Speaker 3 (01:18:42):
The guy the vaccine that window.

Speaker 4 (01:18:46):
We're considered a gringos in Mexico, they called gringos because
you have green cards. Gringos in American. Uh So basically,
if you're morning in the United States, you're called you're
considered greeno, which I thought just for white people. But
we're greenos.

Speaker 2 (01:19:02):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (01:19:02):
They kept calling me greeno the gringo way, Like what
the fuck, dide, I'm Mexican. No you're not, Bro'. You
don't have a Mexican citizenship, you know, So do.

Speaker 2 (01:19:10):
You need a citizenship?

Speaker 4 (01:19:12):
I mean no, but out there you can get a
if you're born out there, you have the Mexican citizenship,
you know. But it's just a different culture out there, because.

Speaker 2 (01:19:21):
They're turning people away in Mexico too, they are.

Speaker 4 (01:19:23):
Yeah, I mean I think you do need to apply
to be a Mexican citizen. But us we think in England.
I think in English. He thinks in English, but out
there they think in Spanish.

Speaker 2 (01:19:36):
I used to think in Italian, really yeah, when I
was living in Italy up until and then its switched
at some point.

Speaker 4 (01:19:42):
I don't know whoa yeah, did you ever think in
Spanish when you were a kid na?

Speaker 3 (01:19:49):
Thank you everybody for listening to the What's Upful Podcast?
We love being here every week with you guys. Shout
out to Christina for being on our podcast. Check out
her stand up comedy. Go check out our live shows.
And also people who are tuning in who saw me
last weekend in New Orleans Beach? Hell yeah, thank you

(01:20:13):
very much. Thanks coming up.

Speaker 4 (01:20:16):
Yeah, so I'm actually hellliny uh. I'm headlining next month
at the Mike Drop in Chandler in Arizona. It's by Phoenix.

Speaker 3 (01:20:25):
Come on down, Chandler. I don't know what you said
right now, Chandler, Chandler, Chandler.

Speaker 4 (01:20:30):
Bro I'm trying to sound like a gianet from a
friend's chandeler.

Speaker 3 (01:20:34):
You would never would have never.

Speaker 4 (01:20:38):
Sorry, So there it is. Get your tickets. It's after Christmas.
Is gonna be fun, but I'll be with you next month.
But next week I'm gonna be restaurant in Lae serving
enough food to all the people that want free food.
Come on down. Great Mexican food. They make their own
guesso fresco.

Speaker 3 (01:20:55):
Homie, what I am bro. They will drop mic in Arizona.

Speaker 4 (01:20:59):
Yeah, do their spreading brown fucking headed best or at
Leahomie

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EP 552 - Cristina Mariani

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}EP 552 - Cristina Mariani