June 8, 2024 • 41 mins
In a world where kids have access to everything, how often do you adhere to parental guidance when watching mature content with your kids? Kathryn Berkett from Engage Training joins the Weekend Collective to discuss.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks,
Ed Bay, that.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Nast and job job in Sticky and a very good
afternoon too. If you've just joined us, I'm Tim Beveridge.
This is a Weekend Collective and this is the Parents
Quite taking your calls over one hundred eighty ten eighty.
You can text from nine nine two. If you missed
the Parents Sorry, the wonder If Radio show, or indeed
the panel, then you can go and check out why
(01:06):
podcast for the Weekend Collective. I suggest iHeart Radio as
a good starting point actually probably yeah, good starting point
and a good endpoint really because it is all on
iHeart Radio. But right now it is time for the
Parent Squad. And my guest is from Engaged Training. She's
a neuroscience educator and all around genius. I guess we
(01:28):
could call it possibly. I didn't want to overplay my hand.
Katherine Burkett, how are you.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
I'm very good, thank you. I'm okay. I'm watching the
Hurricanes Rebels score, so I'm okay.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Currently ah, okay. I thought you were going to say,
I'm watching the game and I'm multitasking while I'm doing
an hour on radio.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I no, No, I've just got the Pender score, So
I'm all right, I'm not watching it. I'm focusing him.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Well that's that's that's good. I was going to say
some cheeky remark about anyway. Look, look, and how are
you in general apart from the apart from the results
of the game. You're keeping out of the.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Well yeah, keeping busy. That keeps out of the chief.
That's the only way to do it.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Really, Ah, what is the What's what's been the focal
point of some of the stuff you've been working on
lately in your professional capacity.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
It's it's a really big thing in schools now. I'm
working with a lot of schools helping them understand how
to concentrate more on the child and the state they're in,
rather than assuming our kids are ready to learn. We're
sort of just we've got to shift out focus a
little bit. So that's a lot of my work at
the moment.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Okay, I want to kick off with a question that
hit me the other day actually about the about films
and the ratings of films and mature content. And you
know how much we need to keep an eye on
this in fact, and if you're listening how much do
(02:55):
you pay attention? When was the last time you checked
a rating on a film or a television program that
you that your kids were watching. Because I this is
going to make me sound like a terrible parent, but
and I haven't done it yet, and I'm glad I didn't.
But for instance, one of my daughters was asking me
(03:15):
about D Day and Norman d and there were some
news articles going on. Of course, it doesn't, you know,
show what those soldiers went through. But and I was
part of me, don't worry. I didn't let her watch
it she wanted. I started watching later on Saving Private Ryan,
and she was like, oh, can I watch that? Daddy.
I was like, no, no, I don't think you can
(03:36):
watch that. And part of me was like, what's some
stage you're going to watch it? But then I thought,
I have no idea when I should show this, when
you should see this movie, because even as an adult,
the opening scenes of the trauma and the carnage at
D Day, because they're sort of historically important. But I
(03:56):
suddenly it raised the question to me. It's like, oh
my goodness, I don't I'm not sure I have a
handle because when I was a teenager it was a
adge of honor if you were thirteen and you could
get into an R sixteen movie. And of course we
went and as teenage boys to our sixteen movies for
obvious reason for having to see someone in the nude.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
But anyway, how important is it to check out the
ratings of things?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Because I think most of the time most parents sort
of watch programs and then something will prop up and
they'll think, oh, maybe we should have thought twice about
this particular program.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yeah, I mean, can I just say, first of all,
we have so little ability to watch. I mean, you
might watch care for what your daughter's watch at your place,
but they can go to a friend's place and if
that parent's not onto it, they can be watching whatever
they want there. And that's the issue, is that we
really need to talk to our kids about why we
don't want them watching this stuff too early. You know
(04:58):
that you can watch it later, and I'm not even
saying that it's going to work, But the problem now
is you had to sneak into a movie to see that.
Now they just type it into their device and they
can see it whenever they want, so, you know, like
that's one of the issues and the brain. The you know,
the brain gets to a point, and it's not until
it's we're really sixteen, seventeen, maybe eighteen years old that
(05:20):
we can really start to put into perspective what we're
seeing and then sort of put some logic around it.
But before that, and especially around that thirteen fourteen, fifteen
year old, it's when they're really starting. When our kids
started to learn to walk, they wanted to run everywhere.
They had no idea. They're just so excited about this
new thing that they did it too much. And that's
(05:42):
sort of why. Around about that time, our kids get
really into the future, so i e. Death and dying
and the end of the world and all of those
sorts of things, and they're not ready. So you're sitting
and in fact, if you think your daughter's going to
watch d Day with someone else, it's almost better to
sit with her and sit with her and help her
process it and pause it and contextualize it.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I'm not saying you should, no, No, I mean see,
because she has she's a smart girl, and she's she's curious,
and she's going to want to find out things before
I maybe want her to find out about things. And
so and I did find myself googled. I actually googled
what age can I show can your kids? What's saving
(06:24):
private Ryan? And I found a few and one said Locke, No,
eleven's too young and fourteen's too young, but probably that's
probably an age where you might be able to talk
to them about it. But I remember just sitting in
the cinema and watching that opening scene, and when the
opening scene finished, the whole cinema almost breathed a sigh
of like, oh my goodness. That was a powerful, confronting,
(06:47):
difficult scene to watch.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
And as adults, we can sort of process that in
our heads and we can sort of go, yes, I
know that happened, but we're back here. You know, you
can put so much context around it, whereas with an
adolescent at that age watching it via they and they
sort of don't have the capacity to contextualize it so much.
And that's why if you can't, sometimes it would be
(07:12):
better even just to say, hey, if these things happen,
come and talk to me. If you watch this and
it makes you feel really weird, an upset or different,
then just come to me and we can go through
it and we can talk about it. You know, sometimes
leaving those doors open. But these days we have just
got so little ability to control what our kids watch.
(07:32):
In some ways, we do have to be a bit
more aware of that, Like your parents didn't really have
to worry about it.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
But well, for.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Instance, for instance, when I was in third or fourth
m history, we studied it and I'm not looking. I'm
not going to get by the way, if you're listening,
I'm not going to fix that in World War two.
But it's a useful analogy or just a sub subject
matter where you can And we studied in history about
Nazi Germany, and we knew about the figures of the
death camps and the Holocaust and things like that, but
(08:01):
it's one thing to get the numbers. And it's funny
because there's a part of me that thinks, okay, you
know when they say six million people were murdered in
the in the in the Holocaust, the Jews and other
people who didn't fit into Nazi society. You can talk
about those numbers. But sometimes kids, I mean, I'm trying
(08:22):
to find that world where they can really understand what
that means, because sometimes just hearing these figures, it's like, oh,
apparently so many people million people died in that and
yet if you saw a movie about it, you'd be
it's so much better.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, and when that movie portrays someone that you actually
connect with and then that person, you know, there's all
of that that goes with it, isn't it in a
movie compared to just looking at some numbers. Yeah. And
all of our kids are different, by the way, so
we do have to I mean, ages are ages are ages,
which are a good guide, but you know, my kids
were so different. I know that, you know, one of
my kids would be able to watch things at a
(08:57):
much earlier age and the other one they would be
more likely to process it differently and internalize it more.
So we do also have to realize that kids are
a little bit different, and we can if we are
honest about that, we can be aware of that. And
they are exposed to so much so much earlier now,
which I don't like, but does in a way to
(09:17):
sensitize them more than I would have been or you
would have been desensitized to that stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Well, I think that that's that maybe you've hit on
the issue that I'm thinking about is I don't want
them to and I want to find the opportunity that
if they are curious about something, to sit with them
and watch something where they get an idea of it,
and I actually realize that they're actually our choices available.
(09:42):
Probably there are some very good documentaries about D Day
which are not going to be as well, nothing like
The Saving Private Ryan, which is just thoroughly brutal. But
you know, there.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Are trying to get you watching, you know, if the
documentary is not trying to get you hopped in and watching,
and you know, like which the film is trying to
do well.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Also a film can I mean luckily the well Obviously
the footage of those events isn't nearly as dramatic as
what a filmmaker can do when they have the opportunity
of close ups and special effects to portray and explicit,
gruesome detail what went on to people. But it's it is,
it is. It is a quandary in a way because yeah,
(10:21):
as you say, you don't want them to learn too
much out of context without yeah, fun, it is a
difficult one. Did you used to pay any attention to
the ratings of movies with your kids?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
And my kids, I mean my kids are seventeen and
twenty now, so I was really lucky. It was still
the time when you could do a lot more. You know,
I'm not saying they didn't go and watch things I
didn't know, but it really wasn't as available and open
as it is now. But yeah, we've watched I mean,
we used to watch some of these things on TV
and I'd often pause if it was if it was
(10:53):
a subject, and to go, hey, do you realize that
this is happening or that? And I just sort of
put it out there and so that there was a
point where they're with me and we could I'd sort
of show them that I was open to talking about
it if they found that troubling from other spaces, do
you know. So that's sometimes what you can do as
a parent is let them know that if they watch
(11:14):
something or see something, then they could come to you
and go, man, that felt really okay, Well let's watch
some documentaries or it's understand this together and unpack it together.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I mean, what's what sort of concept conversations should you
have with your kids when you, for instance, you want
them to be able to you don't want them to
watch something, but by virtue of mentioning you don't. I
mean there's nothing like forbidden food. Is this like don't
watch this? Is like all dad says, don't watch this.
This must be cool because the last thing I wanted
to do is go on to go on to you know,
(11:47):
Netflix and Google, you know, opening seeing Private Ryan, because
it'll all be there one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
And it's not just what you say, by the way,
it's just it's it's there's just too much availability now.
And another kid's parent says, don't till somebody else, and
they said, we'll come around to my place because my
parents said not to watch. It's defining to watch it,
you know. So the thing is is now there is
significantly less control we have over this stuff, so we
do have to be ready to be having discussions before
(12:15):
we want to. Like I've had some parents going no, no,
my kids aren't allowed to watch that, so we don't
talk about that, And I'm like, well, actually, you sort
of don't have that capacity anymore. If they are inquisitive,
and some kids won't want to and if you're honest,
you will know the kids that are and the kids
that aren't. But if they are inquisitive and they are
starting to show signs, I mean they start talking about
(12:36):
things more, I would be really, really keen, even if
you think they're too young, is to inquire as if
they watch have you watched something? You know, let's just
talk about it. So try and open up that dialogue,
which and by what I'm still saying, is so hard
with our kids because they want to deny everything.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
We'd like to have your cause as well. I waite
hundred eighty ten and eighty. How careful are you with
the content that your children watch? And while you know
we obviously you don't have so much as you're listening
to Catherine Burke and she's pointing out, the obvious is
that we don't have as much control over what our
kids watch as we'd like. How careful are you with
the stuff when the TV's on, say in the lounge
(13:14):
and you're watching something the other It is quite funny.
The other story that made me think of this was
we're watching the You might have seen the Big Bang
Theory at some stage, but there's the prequel sequel type
of thing called Young Sheldon, which is very much, pretty
much wholesome family entertainment. But there is a scene where
(13:36):
Sheldon as a tot, is in the cot and he's recalling.
He realizes how much he can remember when he's only
twenty months old. And there's a scene where he's in
the cot and mum and dad are clearly in bed
having quite a happy time, and they're rolling over and
the father's talking about I haven't you heard you use
the lord's name in vain like that for a while
and everything, and I mean our kids. It's more looking
(14:00):
to us to see what our reaction are is and
my youngest daughters at that a it's like, are we
going to when she sort of asks us and she
has a rough idea what's going on, but she doesn't
really what's going on there sort of looking at us.
And I was thinking I wasn't about to censor it
because it was sort of but it was done in
a way that was strongly suggestive of a fairly vigorous romp.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
And I see those.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I didn't know what the rating for the show.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Was because it's it's all They have to have a
certain amount of information to learn it, right. It's like
kids watching movies and they have no idea what's going
on because they have no basis to understand the innuendos
and stuff like that, so they have to have a
certain amount of knowledge. So if it's not direct, the
ratings can be really low. But that's an opportunity for me,
(14:51):
And it doesn't need to be like you could just
let it go, but that's an opportunity for me, like
either when it stops or just to pause it and go,
oh hey, if this stuff, if you you know, if
this stuff is confusing, or if there's anything you want
to ask, you know, you can always talk to me
about this stuff, you know, and then just leave it
at that and then push play and then they go, oh, okay,
I did see something or someone showed me something about that.
So you could take opportunities like that to highlight your
(15:14):
kids that you know. Obviously this is uncomfortable and it's
a bit strange, but I just go, oh hey, if
you've ever got questions about stuff like that, just get
you know, just you know, you can ask me and
then leave it at that.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
You have that conversation, yeah, because that's there is that
conversation that goes on between parents. It's like when I
say something, my wife say, are you riding for that
conversation yet? And I'll go, oh, good point, No, I'm
not ready for that yet.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Okay, but they're going to find it out somewhere if
they go and google that stuff. I really would prefer
them to learn it from me then googling it. And
that's the issue.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Now.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
If they don't get it from us, they're going to
get it from somewhere, or they're probably also going to
get it from somewhere.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Actually, I've just looked it up. Actually, to be honest,
I'm not really approved Young Sheldon that the series it's
G rated, which is GGG. I'm actually surprised it wasn't
PG because there's simply some parents would be like, I'm
not sure how I'm going to explain that moment under
the sheets there. Not that I'm approved. Look, I'm actually
that's the problem is because I'm more inclined to push
(16:15):
the boundary in terms of teasing the kids about stuff
that I haven't really talked to them about. So I'm
asking for trouble. And my wife does tell me that
all the time. She says, are you ready for that conversation?
That's her that's her way of censoring me.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Ready for that?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah? Anyway, Hey, look, we want to hear from you, though.
I eight one hundred eighty and eighty in text as well.
Nine two nine two. We'd love to text some calls.
Is how careful are you with the content that your
children watch? And what sort of conversations do you have
around those moments where something crops up and you're like, oh,
I wasn't expecting a love scene there, and I'm going
to need to explain that to my children right now.
(16:49):
Give us a call. I weight one hundred and eighty
ten eighty text nine two nine two. It's coming up
to twenty four past five. News Talk said, be welcome
back to this is the Parent Squad. I'm Tim Beverage.
My guest is neuroscience educator Katherine Burker. We're talking about
how much key you should take or you do take
(17:11):
with the content you kids see, just when they're in
the room with you watching TV. Do you check up
the ratings? And I'm mildly surprised that young Sheldon that
episode was only was rated G when it was fairly
frisky little episode. Anyway, Let's have a look on a
few texts here. Some quite confronting texts in a way here,
but just good honest ones. I watched Shindler's List with
(17:32):
my parents at the cinema when I was eleven. We
are Jewish, so it had relevance. I don't think I
processed it all, but I wasn't traumatized. That's sort of
surprising in a way, isn't it, Catherine.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah, I mean, and by the way, again with words,
And I appreciate that person's honesty because the word traumatized
is thrown around a little bit too much. If we
can process it well, and that's what I think, if
we can do with our kids, we can go say
this is it, and this is how it happened. And
I'm pretty sure that person's parents would have the world.
You know, they had discussed it and they understood it,
so it would have been confronting. It would have taught
(18:10):
them something. It probably would have changed how they think
about things. But traumatizing is when it's unpredictable, overwhelming, too much,
you know, And we can have bad that happened to us,
but it doesn't have to be traumatizing. So I'm guessing
that person maybe is using the word correctly rather than
people go, oh my goodness, that was traumatizing. I tripped
over and hurt my toe, you know, like we sometimes
(18:30):
use it a little bit too freely, so I would
obviously I'm assuming a lot about that person.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
But yeah, actually I think you're right because there are
certain things. I mean, one of my text is referred
to watching, you know, making sure that no adults should
see the stuff that went on in October the seventh
recently that and that's because it is it would be overwhelming,
and that's that's probably quite a good probably a good
lead in a way too. If you are going to
watch a slightly you know, full on movie with your kids,
(18:58):
if they are ready for what's coming, then that's that's
probably it. Because as I mentioned, when I first watched
in private run, that first scene was overwhelming because I
wasn't expecting it either, and that was what was so
sort of powerful.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Trauma is there's a lot of the word predictability has
to deal with trauma. So when it's so, when it's
put on you and you don't, are you not ready?
Whereas a few yourself, i mean, even deep grief, you'd
understand there's a few choose to go there. If you
choose to, you know, that can be really difficult, but
it's not traumatosed. But when it gets put on you,
do you know, so that's there's a lot about that
(19:32):
that we need to understand. That word trauma.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
But yeah, Christen says, tell them the truth I learned
from a very I mean a lot of this is
focused on World War two stuff and capt in fact,
quite a few of the texts are just about children
who have learned about the Holocaust at quite a young age.
But then one of the person people said, I learned
about it in form two, but I was horrified. But
it has left me with a deep understanding and compassionate
(19:56):
about what those people endured. And yeah, there's a few
a good texts there. I probably don't need to read
them all out.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
Actually bother the way, but done in the right way,
it can be really positive. Right and done in the
wrong way, it's just like anything so preparing sitting with them,
those sorts of things. But again I'm saying the problem
with today is that it's significantly less likely that you're
going to be able to sit with or or you know,
sit with your kids to watch that stuff.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Yeah, well, Kristin said, I was eight years old. Want
I noticed Anna. Obviously I don't know who Anna is,
but a relative of hers her tattoo numbers and that
my parents spoke Polish and French and struggle with English.
Oh my god, it's going to get me. Um. Thanks
for sharing that, Kristin. Let's take some calls. Elaine, Hello,
Hang on a second, Hang on a second, Elane. I
just need to do something technical here. I've just got
(20:49):
because I've cut Katherine off, stand by for a second.
Excuse me, people, I've just got to do a little
technical thing there. And they can get both Catherine and
Elaine on. Gooday.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
Oh I'm treveling and listening with amusement, and I you
you know, you've got to be mindful of this that
and everything else. Well, I'm at Grandma's status. And last night,
for example, it's happened sort of before with other questions.
We watched decide to watch pork Pie, Goodbye pork Pie,
(21:22):
and and yeah there's a few squear words, but hey,
you know, farming and whatever. But anyway, long story short,
they're on the road and he stops to pick up
this woman headchhiker.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
By the way. Just remember it, by the way, Catherine,
just remember it's five point thirty pm and there are
people listening to this with their with their kids just
getting in the earlier.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Okay, oh, okay, all right, Well he.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Slowed it down anyway.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
So she announced that she was a vision and this
eleven year old kids, who Grandma, what's that? And I'm
going this single So when mother comes home tomorrow and
(22:18):
I hand over, I will be saying an update the report.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Sorry, so you just say, Tom, you've got some work
ahead of you.
Speaker 5 (22:30):
I'm very mindful. It's not the first time I've been
asked certain questions and it's not my place to to say.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Too much details.
Speaker 5 (22:42):
Yes, I give the parents an update, but they caught
me lift field last night. Holy crep.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Like I must say, I'm not sure how I actually
mind You've given that that we we're on there might
be a few kids asking I'm that question right now? Hey,
thanks a lot. That's quite funny. I'm not sure how
I'd explain that when next I wasn't really ready to
talk about that.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
But do you know and my answer to that, and
I'm not going to help you the answer of how
I explain it that. Literally, if you're explaining anything, you
do it in such small doses, and you say one
little thing and you clarify what the question is, You clarify,
and then you talk. It always reminds me. I think
it was a toyota to add and the kid gets
in the car and he goes, Dad, where did they
come from? And then the whole add is the birds
(23:26):
and the be song. And then they get home and
they pull up and he goes, oh, that's cool because
my mate's from Scotland.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
You know.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
And it's like, actually, clarify the question that's there. You
have a little bit of information and ask do you
want more or do you want me to stop? And
that's what I suggest parents do if that's comfortable in
those situations. Don't delve into a massive and they go, ah,
just want to know what the word meant, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
It's funny sometimes how just a little information is often
enough for especially very young ones. So I do have
quite a funny story I heard from it might have
been a quarter actually, that asking how the baby gets
out of mummy's body, and whoever was explaining said, explained
exactly how it comes out, and then the question was
(24:11):
how does it get in there? And the answer was
the same way it comes out, and they were like, oh, okay,
I didn't want to know anything else. It's like hooray.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Anyway, yes, that's what I'm saying. Sometimes you don't need
to stress too much. Just say a little bit and
then go oh good, and they kid, I go, yeah,
that's fine. Oh no, I do want more info, So
don't yet launch into a great, big description. Take your time.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Hey, there was something else I wanted to touch on,
and I don't want to short change it either, But
I would like to talk about this because there's a
lot of talk about stress and anxiety with kids when
we were talking about trauma and things like that, and
just from a neuroscience point of view, because we have
a generation of pearance who want to save their children
from stress and anxiety, and we're trying to protect them
(24:59):
as much as possible. But there is a certain amount
of stresses and anxiety, which is this sort of hell see,
were necessary when kids are growing up? What's your what's
your whatsent? What's your take on that? And how much
should we try and protect kids from? You know that stuff?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:18):
So the easiest And I do this all the time.
This is my bread and butter, and honestly, what we're
doing in our day and age. And I did it
to my kids more than my parents did to me.
Is protect them. But what we need to understand the
most important word in this is tolerable. So if you
went to the gym and you wanted to build your
arm muscle, you'd lift a weight that hurt. It didn't
hurt massively. It's not like you've picked up the timy weight,
(25:41):
but you picked up one that struggle, you know, like,
but it was okay, like, oh that hurts a bit,
but I can do this, It's all good. And then
the more you lifted it, then you went, oh, okay,
now I've got to go on to a bigger weight.
That's exactly what it is with emotions. We've got to
step back and let our kids feel these emotions that
are challenging, that hurt a bit, that they fail, that
(26:02):
they get things wrong, that they don't get the certificate,
or they don't get the Player of the day, or
they don't get that stuff, or they don't win. Because
we bounce a lot easier as kids, and it's not
as big if we lose a game of rugby at
you know, ten years old, compared to if we don't
get the job you know that we really want when
we're an adult. So tolerable is the word so tolerable
(26:24):
stress is extremely important, really big important for resilience. When
it gets above that, that's when it's damaging. But only
the people that know that young person know the difference.
We can't say, oh, are two, so it's two minutes
or the six so they can jump off a you know,
it has to be individualized. But just like if we
went to the gym, we'd individualize the weight to the
(26:47):
capacity of the person. So that's the analogy I use,
which and I tell you what we've got to notice
because we've got to let our kids endure a lot
more tolerable stress than we are because we are taking
away a lot of this resilience.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Also, I think also by doing it that I mean,
children's imaginations are powerful be so if you try to
they know when something's being shielded from them, and I
think that there's potential that they can become more anxious
worrying about this is Mum and Dad are avoiding talking
about it. That must be really bad, and that it's
just like we'll actually just tell them what it is
and they might be the tangible. It's almost like any
(27:23):
sort of stress. You're worried about what might happen and
when the worst possible thing happens, sometimes you're like, oh, well,
that wasn't as bad as I thought. You know, I
put that clumsily, haven't I?
Speaker 3 (27:34):
But no, no, no, no, no, totally. But that's the
thing we try and shield our kids. And then we go, oh,
they got teased at school. And by the way, the
word teas is really important. Bullying is ongoing. Targeted teasing
is normal, and it's actually it's called life. Unfortunately, I'd
love to have stopped my kids being teased, but it's
called life. But if they come home in a state
(27:55):
of stress or whatever, yeah, chatting to them, but not
saving them, not saving them because feeling sad, feeling stressed,
feeling anxious, all of them actually part of life and
we don't get to get rid of those. So the
only way we can handle them is to grow our capacity,
which is like going to the gym and growing our
capacity to lift that weight. So, yeah, parents need to
(28:18):
be okay with a bit of tears and anger and
stress and frustration and anxiety or you know all those
words that talk to the stress response activation.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
That's why I guess, you know, as long as they're
there to give them a cuddle, and pick up the pieces.
Then that's something that helps them learn that, you know,
while this is they've had a negative experience, that everything's
all right as long as they feel sort of safe. Ultimately,
I guess does that help one hundred percent?
Speaker 3 (28:43):
We need that basis of safety. But it's like if
you're at the gym and someone was on the bench
lifting a weight and you notice that they were struggling,
you wouldn't go over and rack it and take it
away from them. You would say what can I do
to just sort of you know, you'd spot them, you
put your hand under that, and do you see what
I mean? And that's all that to do with our
kids is not going and go oh it's okay, sweetheart.
That person was just horrible and you're my favorite person,
so don't worry about it. Just actually made leaves them
(29:05):
in there an the stress response for a little while
and then wait to see if they can calm down,
and then afterwards go, man, you did so well there.
I saw you calm yourself down. And you know that's
hard life, isn't you know? Whatever you want to say
to them, but let them actually physically experience a lot
more of this tension than we do because it's the
physical tension, the physical tolerable activation that their bodies need
(29:28):
to feel to learn it, you know. And it's not
nice a lot of my kids to go through life
never feeling sad, dad, anxious, whatever. But it's actually not
it's not real. It's not likely that they're going to
not have that stuff as an adult in that way.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Is it? You know over there that there's a trend
sometimes with some kids sport to not keep score and
things like that. And I tend to think, I don't
I don't want to get hot onto this, but I
think that sport is one of those wonderfully benign, competitive,
exciting things where kids can learn to deal with disappointment
that's not affecting them in terms of their safety or existence.
(30:05):
And so it's like, hey, look the other team. You know,
they were very good and they beat you. You've got
to learn to I mean, I wonder if we're robbing
kids of that resilience opportunity when we, you know, pretend
that oh no we're not keeping score, we're just playing
sport for well, for what point? Why is there a
goal there? You know?
Speaker 3 (30:24):
I still remember one of my favorite stories is when
my son was playing rugby, and that one there was
such a good team and he had nothing to winning.
By the way, he wasn't part of the you know,
he was. He was on the team, but he wasn't
exactly that his player. I tell him that. But they
kelp got off the end and they lost. They lost
one game, and in the in the coach afterwards said, oh,
(30:45):
I know the rest said we lost, but that last try,
as far as I'm concerned, it wasn't a real try.
So we actually won that game. So just know that
we won it. And so we got the car and
my kids are used to me, right, and we're driving home,
and I says, can I just say that? Ian Mason goes,
I know we lost. You totally lost. Okay, just let's
get this real. You lost, you know, And I'm not
(31:05):
I will not take that opportunity because he hadn't lost anything.
And in fact, the next year he got picked and
he wasn't in this in this team of this coach.
And I saw the coach in the cafe and I
said to him, and he goes, oh, Mason's someting my team.
I said, you know what, I'm really glad he's not.
He actually needs to lose. He needs to play some
more games and lose at the sage he has read
he's six or seven, right, he needs to lose a
(31:26):
lot more games. And I didn't want this coach was amazing.
He was such a good coach and he pretty much
made them win. He regame. I didn't want him to.
I want him to play for a team that was losing,
because that was and it's part of the way so resilience.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
You're trying to trigger our text machine there Catherine saying
I want my child to playing a team that's losing.
That'll provoke people.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Actually you want to get some when to get some,
you know, pix machine.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Just before we go, I'm just going to tell I've
just got a little anecdote from today my daughter's hockey
about a young guy who was on the opposite team
who did something that I thought was actually quite cool.
So it was because it's sort of mixed with you
often that my girl ghost and all girls scored. But
there were quite a few boys in the other team.
But it was a great game we and our team lost.
(32:10):
And there was one boy who was actually really he
was really good, like he's he was a very head
and shoulders. You could tell he was a bit of
a star player. And there was a moment where the
ball hit his foot and the ref misplayed it and
he gave them the penalty rather than us, and the
kid actually said when they were prepared to take the penalty,
he just took himself out of play. He said, don't
(32:31):
hit it to me because he knew it was the
wrong call, and he just said, don't play me, and
he just he took about a minute out of the game.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
And I remember thinking it's amazing that.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
I just was pretty impressed with that. I thought that's
pretty cool. I must have met it at the time.
I was like, eh, But then I saw him do that.
He said, don't play. No, I'm not taking it. I'm
not don't play to me. He didn't say why, but
he just knew that it should have been a penalty
the other way. So he just took himself out for
a minute. And I just thought, that's I can't remember
the name of the team, otherwise i'd give him a
shout out, but you know, he'll know who he is.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
In the team. Well, but do you see this is
where we can learn. You see that ought is a
place where we can learn this. I mean that his
that value that he's just shown is way more than
winning that game, and and modeling is massive for our
kids to see and learn. So thanks for him and
his parents for obviously modeling that to him rather than
(33:22):
going no, no, I just get in there and win
sun you know, like that's not what life is about.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Yeah, he was, he was, Actually, he was pretty bloody good.
First name was Marcus. Actually I was pretty impressed with him. Anyway,
he might not be a target market. Hey, Catherine, thanks
so much for your time today. I can't believe how
time's flown so much. But we'll look forward to talking again.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
And if people want to check your website out, it's
Engaged Training dot cod.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
And said correct, Yeah, and honestly, podcast Catherine Burkett on
any podcast platform. I dealt with Peel today and they
are really cool for just real good conversational spaces for
understanding a lot of the stuff we're talking.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Hey, good stuff, great to talk to you.
That wraps up the Parents.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
Squad and welcome back to the Weekend Collective.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
In fact, that was the Parents Squad. But guess what
it's that wonderful time of day at thirteen minutes to six.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Good weekend collective sports rat.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Yeah, I'd like to add my own little bit of grunting.
And there it's time to talk sport with Bonnie Jansen
and News Talks the b Sports Reporter and whizz Hi Bonnie,
how are you?
Speaker 6 (34:47):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I'm good?
Speaker 5 (34:47):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (34:48):
How are you? I'm very good. Let's not talk about
the black Cats because they suck. The Hurricanes Rebels is
going on right now, isn't it, And it's twenty one
to six. It's probably all over, but that's half time.
Rebels are still putting up a good fight. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (35:03):
Yeah, the Rebels have done really welcome so doing that.
This is probably their last game ever. I mean, this
is their last game ever if they're to lose tonight,
obviously being disestablished next season, which is a real shame
for them. They've got going out, got nothing to lose.
But yeah, they put on a pretty good start against
against the Hurricanes. Good defense, but yeah, the Hurricanes have
started to pull away.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
With it still half an hour ago. The Rebels on
our attack. You never know, if they score a trick,
could be Yeah. Look that's face that the Hurrican it's
going to be hard to beat tonight, Blues Versus and
Dura called by our fantastic man, the voice of Karagate
Chicken on the Voice of Rugby Elliott Smith.
Speaker 6 (35:38):
Yes, in Auckland here and Tommackimkodo. The Blues should come
away with this fairly easy again like the Hurricanes. Obviously
they deserve to probably be finish at the top of
the table. But yeah, hopefully they put on a good
show for the Auckland as I know, it'll be quite
pumping down there Atton Park.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
You'll be wondering why I caught him. The voice of
Kragate Chicken scned by Tim Rocksborough because before he went
to Japan, Tim said, mate, when you're going to Japan,
you've got to go try the Karagate Chicken. And Elliott
loves the Kragate Chicken, so he just jokingly referred to
him as the voice of Rugby and the voice of
Kragate Chicken. It's kind of cute anyway. So the Blues, yeah,
they should pull away with this.
Speaker 6 (36:16):
The Blues should pull away. It would be a massive
upset if not. And obviously then after that we've got
the Highlanders Brumbies, which will be a little bit.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
That'll be a little bit tougher. So who's at the
top there?
Speaker 6 (36:26):
And the Brumbies are the favorites for that one. Obviously
it's over in camera, so they'll probably be the first
New Zealand side to go from the bill calling it
now I hope not, but yeah, I mean, what.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Part of New Zealand are you historically sort of connected
to in terms of rugby? I'm from That's why you're
looking so happy talking about the Hurricanes. A hot girl,
A good hot girl. Hey, look that leaves us with
we've got a bit of time to let's talk about
the tennis because I've I'm not sure if I should
admit this, but on the TV on the overnight, they
had a game and it says live right now, and
(37:01):
I thought, this looks weird because I'm sure that I'm
sure that Raphael Nadala has already played, and I was
giving people updates and then Andrew Ordison said coming and
came and said, mate, it's not like Rockie era I
own because why not? But anyway, rolling gas the Women's.
Speaker 6 (37:19):
Final tonight, Yes, one AM should be getting underway. Eigishi
on Tech number one seed is the favorite on Tech.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Eager Have you not heard of it? No, I just
was curious. It's an interesting Tech's the name, but yeah,
that's her name.
Speaker 6 (37:35):
She's taking on an Italian rookie, not really a rookie.
She's twenty eight Jasmine Paulini and she's never got gone
past the second round before in a Grand Slam. So
she's had an incredible tournament so far. Nothing to lose,
nothing to lose, clay. But again, Eager Tech is going
for her fourth rolling Garris title. It's a preferred.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Surface, so I mean preferred surface.
Speaker 6 (38:00):
I think the ta B has Eager paying one dollar six.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
That's pretty order the odds for the other one. Then
I didn't for Paulini, but I mean, yeah, well you
stick ten bucks on. What the hell it's a couple
of cups of coffee.
Speaker 6 (38:13):
I mean it could be another Emma Reda Carnu situation
where you know, she just has this incredible tournament and
goes all the way.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
So who knows, Actually, you are tennis fan, aren't you?
Where is Reddikar? I mean, I know she's not the
story of the day, but because she had that wonderful
win at Wimbledon but then suffered from injury and fell off.
Where is she on the pace these days?
Speaker 6 (38:32):
Yeah, she's definitely not on the pace. She obviously came
to Auckland but didn't didn't do too well. It didn't
make the final, I don't believe. But no, she's it
was one of those really really good seasons that she
had and I'd like to see her back, you know,
competing up the top. But she's still young as well,
like I don't I think, you know, she's early twenty,
so we can't forget that.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
I guess we should mention the men.
Speaker 6 (38:53):
I've got a game at some stage, Yeah, the me
and Carlos al Karez versus Alexander Zirev. It should go
and should go in the favor of al Karez. But
obviously Zero is going through a trial.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
He now, well, Zero have actually look pretty good when
he when I watched him the other night.
Speaker 6 (39:12):
I know, well, he's going through a trail right now,
a case for the abuse, I think, and he you know,
it's obviously put the spark in him because he's on
fire at the moment.
Speaker 5 (39:24):
He is.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Hey, by the way, being a tennis fan, have you
ever played on play?
Speaker 6 (39:28):
No, I haven't. I'd love to and What I quite
like about it is that there's less delays going on
at the tennis. They've had heaps array but you can
still play rain a little bit of drizzle.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Yeah, a little bit of drizzle. It just sucks it
up and you just keep going. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
It is a weird service, but you know, good on
the frogies, you know, say that to be a slightly
alternative you would you have you been to Roland Garris?
Speaker 6 (39:50):
No, no, I'd love to the dream Well.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Note to our sports bosses. Bonnie wants to get on
the plane. Don't hold your breath binding. I'm not sure
I have much influence. Seven and a half minutes the
Sex and News Talks, he'd be.
Speaker 7 (40:00):
You will hold hands. The thunder speaks for the sky
on a cold wind, I cry, try.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Do you want to come.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
And welcome back? This is a week and collective, Well
that was the weekend collective. Actually stick around for Roman
travers in my day. He'll have a riveting show ready
for you all to go and tomorrow don't forget to
join us. It's Men's Health Week. By the way, Kent
John's joins us for the Health Hub and we talk
about what it takes to get a man to adopt
her sometimes and it's like that, it's screaming out. They
need to get to check up. And also Hanna McQueen
(40:42):
joins us for smart money. And also of course we've
got politics central, and I don't know what it is
because we work on that feast over the next twenty
four hours. So we'll look forward to your company tomorrow,
ramand travers as next. Have a great night. Thanks Joe Coglan,
my producer. Catch us soon.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen Linten News Talk
zed B weekends from three pm, or follow the podcast
on iHeartRadio
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks,
Ed Bay, that.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Nast and job job in Sticky and a very good
afternoon too. If you've just joined us, I'm Tim Beveridge.
This is a Weekend Collective and this is the Parents
Quite taking your calls over one hundred eighty ten eighty.
You can text from nine nine two. If you missed
the Parents Sorry, the wonder If Radio show, or indeed
the panel, then you can go and check out why
(01:06):
podcast for the Weekend Collective. I suggest iHeart Radio as
a good starting point actually probably yeah, good starting point
and a good endpoint really because it is all on
iHeart Radio. But right now it is time for the
Parent Squad. And my guest is from Engaged Training. She's
a neuroscience educator and all around genius. I guess we
(01:28):
could call it possibly. I didn't want to overplay my hand.
Katherine Burkett, how are you.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
I'm very good, thank you. I'm okay. I'm watching the
Hurricanes Rebels score, so I'm okay.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Currently ah, okay. I thought you were going to say,
I'm watching the game and I'm multitasking while I'm doing
an hour on radio.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I no, No, I've just got the Pender score, So
I'm all right, I'm not watching it. I'm focusing him.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Well that's that's that's good. I was going to say
some cheeky remark about anyway. Look, look, and how are
you in general apart from the apart from the results
of the game. You're keeping out of the.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Well yeah, keeping busy. That keeps out of the chief.
That's the only way to do it.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Really, Ah, what is the What's what's been the focal
point of some of the stuff you've been working on
lately in your professional capacity.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
It's it's a really big thing in schools now. I'm
working with a lot of schools helping them understand how
to concentrate more on the child and the state they're in,
rather than assuming our kids are ready to learn. We're
sort of just we've got to shift out focus a
little bit. So that's a lot of my work at
the moment.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Okay, I want to kick off with a question that
hit me the other day actually about the about films
and the ratings of films and mature content. And you
know how much we need to keep an eye on
this in fact, and if you're listening how much do
(02:55):
you pay attention? When was the last time you checked
a rating on a film or a television program that
you that your kids were watching. Because I this is
going to make me sound like a terrible parent, but
and I haven't done it yet, and I'm glad I didn't.
But for instance, one of my daughters was asking me
(03:15):
about D Day and Norman d and there were some
news articles going on. Of course, it doesn't, you know,
show what those soldiers went through. But and I was
part of me, don't worry. I didn't let her watch
it she wanted. I started watching later on Saving Private Ryan,
and she was like, oh, can I watch that? Daddy.
I was like, no, no, I don't think you can
(03:36):
watch that. And part of me was like, what's some
stage you're going to watch it? But then I thought,
I have no idea when I should show this, when
you should see this movie, because even as an adult,
the opening scenes of the trauma and the carnage at
D Day, because they're sort of historically important. But I
(03:56):
suddenly it raised the question to me. It's like, oh
my goodness, I don't I'm not sure I have a
handle because when I was a teenager it was a
adge of honor if you were thirteen and you could
get into an R sixteen movie. And of course we
went and as teenage boys to our sixteen movies for
obvious reason for having to see someone in the nude.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
But anyway, how important is it to check out the
ratings of things?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Because I think most of the time most parents sort
of watch programs and then something will prop up and
they'll think, oh, maybe we should have thought twice about
this particular program.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yeah, I mean, can I just say, first of all,
we have so little ability to watch. I mean, you
might watch care for what your daughter's watch at your place,
but they can go to a friend's place and if
that parent's not onto it, they can be watching whatever
they want there. And that's the issue, is that we
really need to talk to our kids about why we
don't want them watching this stuff too early. You know
(04:58):
that you can watch it later, and I'm not even
saying that it's going to work, But the problem now
is you had to sneak into a movie to see that.
Now they just type it into their device and they
can see it whenever they want, so, you know, like
that's one of the issues and the brain. The you know,
the brain gets to a point, and it's not until
it's we're really sixteen, seventeen, maybe eighteen years old that
(05:20):
we can really start to put into perspective what we're
seeing and then sort of put some logic around it.
But before that, and especially around that thirteen fourteen, fifteen
year old, it's when they're really starting. When our kids
started to learn to walk, they wanted to run everywhere.
They had no idea. They're just so excited about this
new thing that they did it too much. And that's
(05:42):
sort of why. Around about that time, our kids get
really into the future, so i e. Death and dying
and the end of the world and all of those
sorts of things, and they're not ready. So you're sitting
and in fact, if you think your daughter's going to
watch d Day with someone else, it's almost better to
sit with her and sit with her and help her
process it and pause it and contextualize it.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I'm not saying you should, no, No, I mean see,
because she has she's a smart girl, and she's she's curious,
and she's going to want to find out things before
I maybe want her to find out about things. And
so and I did find myself googled. I actually googled
what age can I show can your kids? What's saving
(06:24):
private Ryan? And I found a few and one said Locke, No,
eleven's too young and fourteen's too young, but probably that's
probably an age where you might be able to talk
to them about it. But I remember just sitting in
the cinema and watching that opening scene, and when the
opening scene finished, the whole cinema almost breathed a sigh
of like, oh my goodness. That was a powerful, confronting,
(06:47):
difficult scene to watch.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
And as adults, we can sort of process that in
our heads and we can sort of go, yes, I
know that happened, but we're back here. You know, you
can put so much context around it, whereas with an
adolescent at that age watching it via they and they
sort of don't have the capacity to contextualize it so much.
And that's why if you can't, sometimes it would be
(07:12):
better even just to say, hey, if these things happen,
come and talk to me. If you watch this and
it makes you feel really weird, an upset or different,
then just come to me and we can go through
it and we can talk about it. You know, sometimes
leaving those doors open. But these days we have just
got so little ability to control what our kids watch.
(07:32):
In some ways, we do have to be a bit
more aware of that, Like your parents didn't really have
to worry about it.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
But well, for.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Instance, for instance, when I was in third or fourth
m history, we studied it and I'm not looking. I'm
not going to get by the way, if you're listening,
I'm not going to fix that in World War two.
But it's a useful analogy or just a sub subject
matter where you can And we studied in history about
Nazi Germany, and we knew about the figures of the
death camps and the Holocaust and things like that, but
(08:01):
it's one thing to get the numbers. And it's funny
because there's a part of me that thinks, okay, you
know when they say six million people were murdered in
the in the in the Holocaust, the Jews and other
people who didn't fit into Nazi society. You can talk
about those numbers. But sometimes kids, I mean, I'm trying
(08:22):
to find that world where they can really understand what
that means, because sometimes just hearing these figures, it's like, oh,
apparently so many people million people died in that and
yet if you saw a movie about it, you'd be
it's so much better.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, and when that movie portrays someone that you actually
connect with and then that person, you know, there's all
of that that goes with it, isn't it in a
movie compared to just looking at some numbers. Yeah. And
all of our kids are different, by the way, so
we do have to I mean, ages are ages are ages,
which are a good guide, but you know, my kids
were so different. I know that, you know, one of
my kids would be able to watch things at a
(08:57):
much earlier age and the other one they would be
more likely to process it differently and internalize it more.
So we do also have to realize that kids are
a little bit different, and we can if we are
honest about that, we can be aware of that. And
they are exposed to so much so much earlier now,
which I don't like, but does in a way to
(09:17):
sensitize them more than I would have been or you
would have been desensitized to that stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Well, I think that that's that maybe you've hit on
the issue that I'm thinking about is I don't want
them to and I want to find the opportunity that
if they are curious about something, to sit with them
and watch something where they get an idea of it,
and I actually realize that they're actually our choices available.
(09:42):
Probably there are some very good documentaries about D Day
which are not going to be as well, nothing like
The Saving Private Ryan, which is just thoroughly brutal. But
you know, there.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Are trying to get you watching, you know, if the
documentary is not trying to get you hopped in and watching,
and you know, like which the film is trying to
do well.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Also a film can I mean luckily the well Obviously
the footage of those events isn't nearly as dramatic as
what a filmmaker can do when they have the opportunity
of close ups and special effects to portray and explicit,
gruesome detail what went on to people. But it's it is,
it is. It is a quandary in a way because yeah,
(10:21):
as you say, you don't want them to learn too
much out of context without yeah, fun, it is a
difficult one. Did you used to pay any attention to
the ratings of movies with your kids?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
And my kids, I mean my kids are seventeen and
twenty now, so I was really lucky. It was still
the time when you could do a lot more. You know,
I'm not saying they didn't go and watch things I
didn't know, but it really wasn't as available and open
as it is now. But yeah, we've watched I mean,
we used to watch some of these things on TV
and I'd often pause if it was if it was
(10:53):
a subject, and to go, hey, do you realize that
this is happening or that? And I just sort of
put it out there and so that there was a
point where they're with me and we could I'd sort
of show them that I was open to talking about
it if they found that troubling from other spaces, do
you know. So that's sometimes what you can do as
a parent is let them know that if they watch
(11:14):
something or see something, then they could come to you
and go, man, that felt really okay, Well let's watch
some documentaries or it's understand this together and unpack it together.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I mean, what's what sort of concept conversations should you
have with your kids when you, for instance, you want
them to be able to you don't want them to
watch something, but by virtue of mentioning you don't. I
mean there's nothing like forbidden food. Is this like don't
watch this? Is like all dad says, don't watch this.
This must be cool because the last thing I wanted
to do is go on to go on to you know,
(11:47):
Netflix and Google, you know, opening seeing Private Ryan, because
it'll all be there one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
And it's not just what you say, by the way,
it's just it's it's there's just too much availability now.
And another kid's parent says, don't till somebody else, and
they said, we'll come around to my place because my
parents said not to watch. It's defining to watch it,
you know. So the thing is is now there is
significantly less control we have over this stuff, so we
do have to be ready to be having discussions before
(12:15):
we want to. Like I've had some parents going no, no,
my kids aren't allowed to watch that, so we don't
talk about that, And I'm like, well, actually, you sort
of don't have that capacity anymore. If they are inquisitive,
and some kids won't want to and if you're honest,
you will know the kids that are and the kids
that aren't. But if they are inquisitive and they are
starting to show signs, I mean they start talking about
(12:36):
things more, I would be really, really keen, even if
you think they're too young, is to inquire as if
they watch have you watched something? You know, let's just
talk about it. So try and open up that dialogue,
which and by what I'm still saying, is so hard
with our kids because they want to deny everything.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
We'd like to have your cause as well. I waite
hundred eighty ten and eighty. How careful are you with
the content that your children watch? And while you know
we obviously you don't have so much as you're listening
to Catherine Burke and she's pointing out, the obvious is
that we don't have as much control over what our
kids watch as we'd like. How careful are you with
the stuff when the TV's on, say in the lounge
(13:14):
and you're watching something the other It is quite funny.
The other story that made me think of this was
we're watching the You might have seen the Big Bang
Theory at some stage, but there's the prequel sequel type
of thing called Young Sheldon, which is very much, pretty
much wholesome family entertainment. But there is a scene where
(13:36):
Sheldon as a tot, is in the cot and he's recalling.
He realizes how much he can remember when he's only
twenty months old. And there's a scene where he's in
the cot and mum and dad are clearly in bed
having quite a happy time, and they're rolling over and
the father's talking about I haven't you heard you use
the lord's name in vain like that for a while
and everything, and I mean our kids. It's more looking
(14:00):
to us to see what our reaction are is and
my youngest daughters at that a it's like, are we
going to when she sort of asks us and she
has a rough idea what's going on, but she doesn't
really what's going on there sort of looking at us.
And I was thinking I wasn't about to censor it
because it was sort of but it was done in
a way that was strongly suggestive of a fairly vigorous romp.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
And I see those.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I didn't know what the rating for the show.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Was because it's it's all They have to have a
certain amount of information to learn it, right. It's like
kids watching movies and they have no idea what's going
on because they have no basis to understand the innuendos
and stuff like that, so they have to have a
certain amount of knowledge. So if it's not direct, the
ratings can be really low. But that's an opportunity for me,
(14:51):
And it doesn't need to be like you could just
let it go, but that's an opportunity for me, like
either when it stops or just to pause it and go,
oh hey, if this stuff, if you you know, if
this stuff is confusing, or if there's anything you want
to ask, you know, you can always talk to me
about this stuff, you know, and then just leave it
at that and then push play and then they go, oh, okay,
I did see something or someone showed me something about that.
So you could take opportunities like that to highlight your
(15:14):
kids that you know. Obviously this is uncomfortable and it's
a bit strange, but I just go, oh hey, if
you've ever got questions about stuff like that, just get
you know, just you know, you can ask me and
then leave it at that.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
You have that conversation, yeah, because that's there is that
conversation that goes on between parents. It's like when I
say something, my wife say, are you riding for that
conversation yet? And I'll go, oh, good point, No, I'm
not ready for that yet.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Okay, but they're going to find it out somewhere if
they go and google that stuff. I really would prefer
them to learn it from me then googling it. And
that's the issue.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Now.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
If they don't get it from us, they're going to
get it from somewhere, or they're probably also going to
get it from somewhere.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Actually, I've just looked it up. Actually, to be honest,
I'm not really approved Young Sheldon that the series it's
G rated, which is GGG. I'm actually surprised it wasn't
PG because there's simply some parents would be like, I'm
not sure how I'm going to explain that moment under
the sheets there. Not that I'm approved. Look, I'm actually
that's the problem is because I'm more inclined to push
(16:15):
the boundary in terms of teasing the kids about stuff
that I haven't really talked to them about. So I'm
asking for trouble. And my wife does tell me that
all the time. She says, are you ready for that conversation?
That's her that's her way of censoring me.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Ready for that?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah? Anyway, Hey, look, we want to hear from you, though.
I eight one hundred eighty and eighty in text as well.
Nine two nine two. We'd love to text some calls.
Is how careful are you with the content that your
children watch? And what sort of conversations do you have
around those moments where something crops up and you're like, oh,
I wasn't expecting a love scene there, and I'm going
to need to explain that to my children right now.
(16:49):
Give us a call. I weight one hundred and eighty
ten eighty text nine two nine two. It's coming up
to twenty four past five. News Talk said, be welcome
back to this is the Parent Squad. I'm Tim Beverage.
My guest is neuroscience educator Katherine Burker. We're talking about
how much key you should take or you do take
(17:11):
with the content you kids see, just when they're in
the room with you watching TV. Do you check up
the ratings? And I'm mildly surprised that young Sheldon that
episode was only was rated G when it was fairly
frisky little episode. Anyway, Let's have a look on a
few texts here. Some quite confronting texts in a way here,
but just good honest ones. I watched Shindler's List with
(17:32):
my parents at the cinema when I was eleven. We
are Jewish, so it had relevance. I don't think I
processed it all, but I wasn't traumatized. That's sort of
surprising in a way, isn't it, Catherine.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah, I mean, and by the way, again with words,
And I appreciate that person's honesty because the word traumatized
is thrown around a little bit too much. If we
can process it well, and that's what I think, if
we can do with our kids, we can go say
this is it, and this is how it happened. And
I'm pretty sure that person's parents would have the world.
You know, they had discussed it and they understood it,
so it would have been confronting. It would have taught
(18:10):
them something. It probably would have changed how they think
about things. But traumatizing is when it's unpredictable, overwhelming, too much,
you know, And we can have bad that happened to us,
but it doesn't have to be traumatizing. So I'm guessing
that person maybe is using the word correctly rather than
people go, oh my goodness, that was traumatizing. I tripped
over and hurt my toe, you know, like we sometimes
(18:30):
use it a little bit too freely, so I would
obviously I'm assuming a lot about that person.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
But yeah, actually I think you're right because there are
certain things. I mean, one of my text is referred
to watching, you know, making sure that no adults should
see the stuff that went on in October the seventh
recently that and that's because it is it would be overwhelming,
and that's that's probably quite a good probably a good
lead in a way too. If you are going to
watch a slightly you know, full on movie with your kids,
(18:58):
if they are ready for what's coming, then that's that's
probably it. Because as I mentioned, when I first watched
in private run, that first scene was overwhelming because I
wasn't expecting it either, and that was what was so
sort of powerful.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Trauma is there's a lot of the word predictability has
to deal with trauma. So when it's so, when it's
put on you and you don't, are you not ready?
Whereas a few yourself, i mean, even deep grief, you'd
understand there's a few choose to go there. If you
choose to, you know, that can be really difficult, but
it's not traumatosed. But when it gets put on you,
do you know, so that's there's a lot about that
(19:32):
that we need to understand. That word trauma.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
But yeah, Christen says, tell them the truth I learned
from a very I mean a lot of this is
focused on World War two stuff and capt in fact,
quite a few of the texts are just about children
who have learned about the Holocaust at quite a young age.
But then one of the person people said, I learned
about it in form two, but I was horrified. But
it has left me with a deep understanding and compassionate
(19:56):
about what those people endured. And yeah, there's a few
a good texts there. I probably don't need to read
them all out.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
Actually bother the way, but done in the right way,
it can be really positive. Right and done in the
wrong way, it's just like anything so preparing sitting with them,
those sorts of things. But again I'm saying the problem
with today is that it's significantly less likely that you're
going to be able to sit with or or you know,
sit with your kids to watch that stuff.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Yeah, well, Kristin said, I was eight years old. Want
I noticed Anna. Obviously I don't know who Anna is,
but a relative of hers her tattoo numbers and that
my parents spoke Polish and French and struggle with English.
Oh my god, it's going to get me. Um. Thanks
for sharing that, Kristin. Let's take some calls. Elaine, Hello,
Hang on a second, Hang on a second, Elane. I
just need to do something technical here. I've just got
(20:49):
because I've cut Katherine off, stand by for a second.
Excuse me, people, I've just got to do a little
technical thing there. And they can get both Catherine and
Elaine on. Gooday.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
Oh I'm treveling and listening with amusement, and I you
you know, you've got to be mindful of this that
and everything else. Well, I'm at Grandma's status. And last night,
for example, it's happened sort of before with other questions.
We watched decide to watch pork Pie, Goodbye pork Pie,
(21:22):
and and yeah there's a few squear words, but hey,
you know, farming and whatever. But anyway, long story short,
they're on the road and he stops to pick up
this woman headchhiker.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
By the way. Just remember it, by the way, Catherine,
just remember it's five point thirty pm and there are
people listening to this with their with their kids just
getting in the earlier.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Okay, oh, okay, all right, Well he.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Slowed it down anyway.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
So she announced that she was a vision and this
eleven year old kids, who Grandma, what's that? And I'm
going this single So when mother comes home tomorrow and
(22:18):
I hand over, I will be saying an update the report.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Sorry, so you just say, Tom, you've got some work
ahead of you.
Speaker 5 (22:30):
I'm very mindful. It's not the first time I've been
asked certain questions and it's not my place to to say.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Too much details.
Speaker 5 (22:42):
Yes, I give the parents an update, but they caught
me lift field last night. Holy crep.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Like I must say, I'm not sure how I actually
mind You've given that that we we're on there might
be a few kids asking I'm that question right now? Hey,
thanks a lot. That's quite funny. I'm not sure how
I'd explain that when next I wasn't really ready to
talk about that.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
But do you know and my answer to that, and
I'm not going to help you the answer of how
I explain it that. Literally, if you're explaining anything, you
do it in such small doses, and you say one
little thing and you clarify what the question is, You clarify,
and then you talk. It always reminds me. I think
it was a toyota to add and the kid gets
in the car and he goes, Dad, where did they
come from? And then the whole add is the birds
(23:26):
and the be song. And then they get home and
they pull up and he goes, oh, that's cool because
my mate's from Scotland.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
You know.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
And it's like, actually, clarify the question that's there. You
have a little bit of information and ask do you
want more or do you want me to stop? And
that's what I suggest parents do if that's comfortable in
those situations. Don't delve into a massive and they go, ah,
just want to know what the word meant, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
It's funny sometimes how just a little information is often
enough for especially very young ones. So I do have
quite a funny story I heard from it might have
been a quarter actually, that asking how the baby gets
out of mummy's body, and whoever was explaining said, explained
exactly how it comes out, and then the question was
(24:11):
how does it get in there? And the answer was
the same way it comes out, and they were like, oh, okay,
I didn't want to know anything else. It's like hooray.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Anyway, yes, that's what I'm saying. Sometimes you don't need
to stress too much. Just say a little bit and
then go oh good, and they kid, I go, yeah,
that's fine. Oh no, I do want more info, So
don't yet launch into a great, big description. Take your time.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Hey, there was something else I wanted to touch on,
and I don't want to short change it either, But
I would like to talk about this because there's a
lot of talk about stress and anxiety with kids when
we were talking about trauma and things like that, and
just from a neuroscience point of view, because we have
a generation of pearance who want to save their children
from stress and anxiety, and we're trying to protect them
(24:59):
as much as possible. But there is a certain amount
of stresses and anxiety, which is this sort of hell see,
were necessary when kids are growing up? What's your what's
your whatsent? What's your take on that? And how much
should we try and protect kids from? You know that stuff?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:18):
So the easiest And I do this all the time.
This is my bread and butter, and honestly, what we're
doing in our day and age. And I did it
to my kids more than my parents did to me.
Is protect them. But what we need to understand the
most important word in this is tolerable. So if you
went to the gym and you wanted to build your
arm muscle, you'd lift a weight that hurt. It didn't
hurt massively. It's not like you've picked up the timy weight,
(25:41):
but you picked up one that struggle, you know, like,
but it was okay, like, oh that hurts a bit,
but I can do this, It's all good. And then
the more you lifted it, then you went, oh, okay,
now I've got to go on to a bigger weight.
That's exactly what it is with emotions. We've got to
step back and let our kids feel these emotions that
are challenging, that hurt a bit, that they fail, that
(26:02):
they get things wrong, that they don't get the certificate,
or they don't get the Player of the day, or
they don't get that stuff, or they don't win. Because
we bounce a lot easier as kids, and it's not
as big if we lose a game of rugby at
you know, ten years old, compared to if we don't
get the job you know that we really want when
we're an adult. So tolerable is the word so tolerable
(26:24):
stress is extremely important, really big important for resilience. When
it gets above that, that's when it's damaging. But only
the people that know that young person know the difference.
We can't say, oh, are two, so it's two minutes
or the six so they can jump off a you know,
it has to be individualized. But just like if we
went to the gym, we'd individualize the weight to the
(26:47):
capacity of the person. So that's the analogy I use,
which and I tell you what we've got to notice
because we've got to let our kids endure a lot
more tolerable stress than we are because we are taking
away a lot of this resilience.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Also, I think also by doing it that I mean,
children's imaginations are powerful be so if you try to
they know when something's being shielded from them, and I
think that there's potential that they can become more anxious
worrying about this is Mum and Dad are avoiding talking
about it. That must be really bad, and that it's
just like we'll actually just tell them what it is
and they might be the tangible. It's almost like any
(27:23):
sort of stress. You're worried about what might happen and
when the worst possible thing happens, sometimes you're like, oh, well,
that wasn't as bad as I thought. You know, I
put that clumsily, haven't I?
Speaker 3 (27:34):
But no, no, no, no, no, totally. But that's the
thing we try and shield our kids. And then we go, oh,
they got teased at school. And by the way, the
word teas is really important. Bullying is ongoing. Targeted teasing
is normal, and it's actually it's called life. Unfortunately, I'd
love to have stopped my kids being teased, but it's
called life. But if they come home in a state
(27:55):
of stress or whatever, yeah, chatting to them, but not
saving them, not saving them because feeling sad, feeling stressed,
feeling anxious, all of them actually part of life and
we don't get to get rid of those. So the
only way we can handle them is to grow our capacity,
which is like going to the gym and growing our
capacity to lift that weight. So, yeah, parents need to
(28:18):
be okay with a bit of tears and anger and
stress and frustration and anxiety or you know all those
words that talk to the stress response activation.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
That's why I guess, you know, as long as they're
there to give them a cuddle, and pick up the pieces.
Then that's something that helps them learn that, you know,
while this is they've had a negative experience, that everything's
all right as long as they feel sort of safe. Ultimately,
I guess does that help one hundred percent?
Speaker 3 (28:43):
We need that basis of safety. But it's like if
you're at the gym and someone was on the bench
lifting a weight and you notice that they were struggling,
you wouldn't go over and rack it and take it
away from them. You would say what can I do
to just sort of you know, you'd spot them, you
put your hand under that, and do you see what
I mean? And that's all that to do with our
kids is not going and go oh it's okay, sweetheart.
That person was just horrible and you're my favorite person,
so don't worry about it. Just actually made leaves them
(29:05):
in there an the stress response for a little while
and then wait to see if they can calm down,
and then afterwards go, man, you did so well there.
I saw you calm yourself down. And you know that's
hard life, isn't you know? Whatever you want to say
to them, but let them actually physically experience a lot
more of this tension than we do because it's the
physical tension, the physical tolerable activation that their bodies need
(29:28):
to feel to learn it, you know. And it's not
nice a lot of my kids to go through life
never feeling sad, dad, anxious, whatever. But it's actually not
it's not real. It's not likely that they're going to
not have that stuff as an adult in that way.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Is it? You know over there that there's a trend
sometimes with some kids sport to not keep score and
things like that. And I tend to think, I don't
I don't want to get hot onto this, but I
think that sport is one of those wonderfully benign, competitive,
exciting things where kids can learn to deal with disappointment
that's not affecting them in terms of their safety or existence.
(30:05):
And so it's like, hey, look the other team. You know,
they were very good and they beat you. You've got
to learn to I mean, I wonder if we're robbing
kids of that resilience opportunity when we, you know, pretend
that oh no we're not keeping score, we're just playing
sport for well, for what point? Why is there a
goal there? You know?
Speaker 3 (30:24):
I still remember one of my favorite stories is when
my son was playing rugby, and that one there was
such a good team and he had nothing to winning.
By the way, he wasn't part of the you know,
he was. He was on the team, but he wasn't
exactly that his player. I tell him that. But they
kelp got off the end and they lost. They lost
one game, and in the in the coach afterwards said, oh,
(30:45):
I know the rest said we lost, but that last try,
as far as I'm concerned, it wasn't a real try.
So we actually won that game. So just know that
we won it. And so we got the car and
my kids are used to me, right, and we're driving home,
and I says, can I just say that? Ian Mason goes,
I know we lost. You totally lost. Okay, just let's
get this real. You lost, you know, And I'm not
(31:05):
I will not take that opportunity because he hadn't lost anything.
And in fact, the next year he got picked and
he wasn't in this in this team of this coach.
And I saw the coach in the cafe and I
said to him, and he goes, oh, Mason's someting my team.
I said, you know what, I'm really glad he's not.
He actually needs to lose. He needs to play some
more games and lose at the sage he has read
he's six or seven, right, he needs to lose a
(31:26):
lot more games. And I didn't want this coach was amazing.
He was such a good coach and he pretty much
made them win. He regame. I didn't want him to.
I want him to play for a team that was losing,
because that was and it's part of the way so resilience.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
You're trying to trigger our text machine there Catherine saying
I want my child to playing a team that's losing.
That'll provoke people.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Actually you want to get some when to get some,
you know, pix machine.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Just before we go, I'm just going to tell I've
just got a little anecdote from today my daughter's hockey
about a young guy who was on the opposite team
who did something that I thought was actually quite cool.
So it was because it's sort of mixed with you
often that my girl ghost and all girls scored. But
there were quite a few boys in the other team.
But it was a great game we and our team lost.
(32:10):
And there was one boy who was actually really he
was really good, like he's he was a very head
and shoulders. You could tell he was a bit of
a star player. And there was a moment where the
ball hit his foot and the ref misplayed it and
he gave them the penalty rather than us, and the
kid actually said when they were prepared to take the penalty,
he just took himself out of play. He said, don't
(32:31):
hit it to me because he knew it was the
wrong call, and he just said, don't play me, and
he just he took about a minute out of the game.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
And I remember thinking it's amazing that.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
I just was pretty impressed with that. I thought that's
pretty cool. I must have met it at the time.
I was like, eh, But then I saw him do that.
He said, don't play. No, I'm not taking it. I'm
not don't play to me. He didn't say why, but
he just knew that it should have been a penalty
the other way. So he just took himself out for
a minute. And I just thought, that's I can't remember
the name of the team, otherwise i'd give him a
shout out, but you know, he'll know who he is.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
In the team. Well, but do you see this is
where we can learn. You see that ought is a
place where we can learn this. I mean that his
that value that he's just shown is way more than
winning that game, and and modeling is massive for our
kids to see and learn. So thanks for him and
his parents for obviously modeling that to him rather than
(33:22):
going no, no, I just get in there and win
sun you know, like that's not what life is about.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Yeah, he was, he was, Actually, he was pretty bloody good.
First name was Marcus. Actually I was pretty impressed with him. Anyway,
he might not be a target market. Hey, Catherine, thanks
so much for your time today. I can't believe how
time's flown so much. But we'll look forward to talking again.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
And if people want to check your website out, it's
Engaged Training dot cod.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
And said correct, Yeah, and honestly, podcast Catherine Burkett on
any podcast platform. I dealt with Peel today and they
are really cool for just real good conversational spaces for
understanding a lot of the stuff we're talking.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Hey, good stuff, great to talk to you.
That wraps up the Parents.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
Squad and welcome back to the Weekend Collective.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
In fact, that was the Parents Squad. But guess what
it's that wonderful time of day at thirteen minutes to six.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Good weekend collective sports rat.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Yeah, I'd like to add my own little bit of grunting.
And there it's time to talk sport with Bonnie Jansen
and News Talks the b Sports Reporter and whizz Hi Bonnie,
how are you?
Speaker 6 (34:47):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I'm good?
Speaker 5 (34:47):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (34:48):
How are you? I'm very good. Let's not talk about
the black Cats because they suck. The Hurricanes Rebels is
going on right now, isn't it, And it's twenty one
to six. It's probably all over, but that's half time.
Rebels are still putting up a good fight. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (35:03):
Yeah, the Rebels have done really welcome so doing that.
This is probably their last game ever. I mean, this
is their last game ever if they're to lose tonight,
obviously being disestablished next season, which is a real shame
for them. They've got going out, got nothing to lose.
But yeah, they put on a pretty good start against
against the Hurricanes. Good defense, but yeah, the Hurricanes have
started to pull away.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
With it still half an hour ago. The Rebels on
our attack. You never know, if they score a trick,
could be Yeah. Look that's face that the Hurrican it's
going to be hard to beat tonight, Blues Versus and
Dura called by our fantastic man, the voice of Karagate
Chicken on the Voice of Rugby Elliott Smith.
Speaker 6 (35:38):
Yes, in Auckland here and Tommackimkodo. The Blues should come
away with this fairly easy again like the Hurricanes. Obviously
they deserve to probably be finish at the top of
the table. But yeah, hopefully they put on a good
show for the Auckland as I know, it'll be quite
pumping down there Atton Park.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
You'll be wondering why I caught him. The voice of
Kragate Chicken scned by Tim Rocksborough because before he went
to Japan, Tim said, mate, when you're going to Japan,
you've got to go try the Karagate Chicken. And Elliott
loves the Kragate Chicken, so he just jokingly referred to
him as the voice of Rugby and the voice of
Kragate Chicken. It's kind of cute anyway. So the Blues, yeah,
they should pull away with this.
Speaker 6 (36:16):
The Blues should pull away. It would be a massive
upset if not. And obviously then after that we've got
the Highlanders Brumbies, which will be a little bit.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
That'll be a little bit tougher. So who's at the
top there?
Speaker 6 (36:26):
And the Brumbies are the favorites for that one. Obviously
it's over in camera, so they'll probably be the first
New Zealand side to go from the bill calling it
now I hope not, but yeah, I mean, what.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Part of New Zealand are you historically sort of connected
to in terms of rugby? I'm from That's why you're
looking so happy talking about the Hurricanes. A hot girl,
A good hot girl. Hey, look that leaves us with
we've got a bit of time to let's talk about
the tennis because I've I'm not sure if I should
admit this, but on the TV on the overnight, they
had a game and it says live right now, and
(37:01):
I thought, this looks weird because I'm sure that I'm
sure that Raphael Nadala has already played, and I was
giving people updates and then Andrew Ordison said coming and
came and said, mate, it's not like Rockie era I
own because why not? But anyway, rolling gas the Women's.
Speaker 6 (37:19):
Final tonight, Yes, one AM should be getting underway. Eigishi
on Tech number one seed is the favorite on Tech.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Eager Have you not heard of it? No, I just
was curious. It's an interesting Tech's the name, but yeah,
that's her name.
Speaker 6 (37:35):
She's taking on an Italian rookie, not really a rookie.
She's twenty eight Jasmine Paulini and she's never got gone
past the second round before in a Grand Slam. So
she's had an incredible tournament so far. Nothing to lose,
nothing to lose, clay. But again, Eager Tech is going
for her fourth rolling Garris title. It's a preferred.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Surface, so I mean preferred surface.
Speaker 6 (38:00):
I think the ta B has Eager paying one dollar six.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
That's pretty order the odds for the other one. Then
I didn't for Paulini, but I mean, yeah, well you
stick ten bucks on. What the hell it's a couple
of cups of coffee.
Speaker 6 (38:13):
I mean it could be another Emma Reda Carnu situation
where you know, she just has this incredible tournament and
goes all the way.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
So who knows, Actually, you are tennis fan, aren't you?
Where is Reddikar? I mean, I know she's not the
story of the day, but because she had that wonderful
win at Wimbledon but then suffered from injury and fell off.
Where is she on the pace these days?
Speaker 6 (38:32):
Yeah, she's definitely not on the pace. She obviously came
to Auckland but didn't didn't do too well. It didn't
make the final, I don't believe. But no, she's it
was one of those really really good seasons that she
had and I'd like to see her back, you know,
competing up the top. But she's still young as well,
like I don't I think, you know, she's early twenty,
so we can't forget that.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
I guess we should mention the men.
Speaker 6 (38:53):
I've got a game at some stage, Yeah, the me
and Carlos al Karez versus Alexander Zirev. It should go
and should go in the favor of al Karez. But
obviously Zero is going through a trial.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
He now, well, Zero have actually look pretty good when
he when I watched him the other night.
Speaker 6 (39:12):
I know, well, he's going through a trail right now,
a case for the abuse, I think, and he you know,
it's obviously put the spark in him because he's on
fire at the moment.
Speaker 5 (39:24):
He is.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Hey, by the way, being a tennis fan, have you
ever played on play?
Speaker 6 (39:28):
No, I haven't. I'd love to and What I quite
like about it is that there's less delays going on
at the tennis. They've had heaps array but you can
still play rain a little bit of drizzle.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Yeah, a little bit of drizzle. It just sucks it
up and you just keep going. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
It is a weird service, but you know, good on
the frogies, you know, say that to be a slightly
alternative you would you have you been to Roland Garris?
Speaker 6 (39:50):
No, no, I'd love to the dream Well.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Note to our sports bosses. Bonnie wants to get on
the plane. Don't hold your breath binding. I'm not sure
I have much influence. Seven and a half minutes the
Sex and News Talks, he'd be.
Speaker 7 (40:00):
You will hold hands. The thunder speaks for the sky
on a cold wind, I cry, try.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Do you want to come.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
And welcome back? This is a week and collective, Well
that was the weekend collective. Actually stick around for Roman
travers in my day. He'll have a riveting show ready
for you all to go and tomorrow don't forget to
join us. It's Men's Health Week. By the way, Kent
John's joins us for the Health Hub and we talk
about what it takes to get a man to adopt
her sometimes and it's like that, it's screaming out. They
need to get to check up. And also Hanna McQueen
(40:42):
joins us for smart money. And also of course we've
got politics central, and I don't know what it is
because we work on that feast over the next twenty
four hours. So we'll look forward to your company tomorrow,
ramand travers as next. Have a great night. Thanks Joe Coglan,
my producer. Catch us soon.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen Linten News Talk
zed B weekends from three pm, or follow the podcast
on iHeartRadio
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