What do you do when your child want to pursue a career that will make life financially tough - and is it okay to discourage them from pursuing their dreams? Expert Sara Chatwin joins the Weekend Collective to discuss.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks edb.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
And welcome back to the Weekend Collective. I'm Tim Beverage
and this is the Parents Squad. We want your calls
one hundred eighty ten eighty. You can text on nine
to nine two. By the way, if you've missed any
of our previous hours, gosh, it was a fun chat
with Ed McKnight. Lots of laughs during the during in
the context of getting some great information as well, and
the panel as well from three to four. If you
want to check out the podcast, go to iHeartRadio look
(00:53):
for the Weekend Collective. Right now. As I say though,
it is time for the Parents Squad. And my guest
is from an organization called mind Works. She's a psychologist
and her name actually she lives in my neck of
the woods, as I found out when I was going
for a run and I heard someone wolf was to
let me and it is a chat one.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Yeah, don't you actually go around wolf whistling me. But
you're looking pretty fit, Tim, I've got to say, there
you go.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Atual after the showy, thanks for that. Actually at the
end of it, so I'm not sure if I was
looking that fresh was I was at the start. I
can't remember anyway. How are you doing anyway?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Pretty good? Yeah, a little bit chilly, but box of
box of bods. Yeah, well you're you're pretty.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Have I got their conditioning down to.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
A lovely little temperature in the studio. I've got to
tell the listeners you're a bit spoiled what being in
here with.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
You knowing it's a woman here.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
It's lovely in here.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I love being in here with my guests and having
a good chat about stuff. Hey, by the way, you're
not going to the rugby tonight, are you?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
No?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I'm here and then I'm scarving off home to do
a little bit of Edmond and then have a nice
relaxing Saturday night and okay, good bit of a good
lazy weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yea. By the way, we'll be having people, if you're listening,
we'll be having a chat with Elliott Smith before the
rugby and what's rapid about court to sex? But let's
talk about the first topic that I threw out there
just as a teaser when I began the show, the
choice of career for your kids. And the example I've
had a chat with someone is like when there are
(02:19):
an increasing number of kids who say, well, they make
their decisions about careers, and I don't know if the
parents should get too involved with that. But the question is,
what if you think they're choosing our career which is
going to consign them to a life of struggle and
poverty and the chances of success are low?
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Hond you read bored? How much negativity?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
But how much? But for instance, people who want to
be YouTubers. Okay, there are some examples of YouTubers who
make millions of dollars and the others make probably pocket money.
But if you what do you do? If you are
naturally concerned and we're all concerned about our kids' futures.
Of course that's the plight of being a parent. But
(03:01):
what if you think, I really think they need to
think twice about this?
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Yeah? I mean that is part of parenting, isn't it
That you do care and you're concerned, and you have
an eye on you know what's going on, and you
keep conversation and pathways of communication open with your child
with regard to future. You might some parents start talking
about the stuff relatively young, you know, ten twelve.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
One of the thing is who knows what you want
to do. I didn't have a clue all over them.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
A lot of people are like that, and of course
I think a lot of parents give their children options
and again are available to have the discussion so that
a child feels that they can talk about things with
their parents. Got to watch that kind of vicarious stuff,
you know, living a little bit vicariously through your children,
and you know, hitting them or pointing them in the
direction of careers that perhaps you felt you wanted to achieve,
(03:48):
but never did.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I think that. Actually, it must be tough for kids
who are born into a successful family business where there's
this huge expectation that they've and you know, if it's
a family business, many of them incredibly successful, and.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Well, hang on, we're talking rugby. It could be a
family business, could be a sporting you know, born into
a family of elite athletes or athletes.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's always amused when a rugby player says, on my
boys play soccer or something. I'm like and actually they're
quite happy about it. But I think all you want
is for your kids to be happy. And I think
probably the time when you might feel that you want
to chip in is if they're making a decision that's
going to limit their options in life. And look, I
mean you're talking to someone who look I did a
(04:31):
lawd agree. But I went off and I said to
my mom, I want to be a singer of musical theater,
hardly having sung a note. And I think she was
a little bit that's nice to here, and then when
she thought I was really serious, she said, we'll go
and get singing lessons into it properly. And I must
say I if I would having been through that, yes,
I would not really want my kids to do it,
(04:52):
but only because if you really want to do it,
you need to overcome some resistance as well, because if
you're easily put off, then you shouldn't do it anyway.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Well, what a lovely open minded mum that you had
for that day, because generally people were probably more of
a mind mindset that you know, you went out into
something that was a little more established and not so far.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I was surprised. I was, really, I mean, that's.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
A very supportive mindset. I do think that we need
to be careful that we don't want to live our
lives through our children. It's really helpful, I think, And
as a psychologist, I see that this is helpful with
clients and with children of clients, teenagers of clients, that
parents allow them to explore and give them options and
(05:33):
talk them through the options, give them all the information
they need to make informed decisions and choices. That's really helpful.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
I think.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Also, if you've got say you've got a ten year
old he says I want to do something in there,
and you don't think it's a great idea, you can
probably prefer to take a breath and think it's early days.
You know, they've got seven years worth of school hopefully left,
and a lot of influence from peers and teachers and
just let things play them. So I have no idea
what I wanted to be when I was ten, but.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Some people do. I mean, it's different for everyone. And
the other thing is with that conversation, if you have
a ten year old that you know comes up with
something absolutely, you know, out of this universe, and you think, wow,
that's pretty out there. I'm not sure that I want
to see my kid walk down that pathway. At least
you can open the conversation and you can give them
(06:21):
some facts, some information. You could actually you know, explore
those options together. You could make it a little thing
that you and your child do together. Okay, well that's
an interesting kind of one. I didn't think that you'd
be interested in that, but let's talk about it. You know,
why do you want to be why do you want
to go down that path? What interests you about that
career choice. I mean, it's quite nice to just get
(06:42):
those you know, those neurons in the brain popping and
discuss things.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
And you know, actually, actually I've my daughters have suggested
different things they want to do, and I've there have
been some things I think, oh that'd be that sounds good,
and I mean, but it all sounds feels early days.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
But I think when the when the rubber hits the
road in a way, when they start saying, well, becaurse,
I want to do this, so I'm going to do
these subjects or I guess in the end, when it
comes to studying, I think, just keep furthering. I fall
back on the things whatever you're studying, keep furthering your education,
and just keep furthering your education. No matter what you choose,
(07:22):
things will come out of the fact that you have
just kept on building those building blocks. I guess, no
matter what the subjects are.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
So if it's education, I think that's great. And if
people choose to walk down that pathway and extend their education,
you're talking tertiary and beyond great. I like information gathering.
I mean, we have seen example after example of people
who have relatively sketchy educations who have made it big.
(07:52):
Now I'm not suggesting that everybody gives up on education,
not at all, but for some people university isn't, oh no,
great an option for many reasons, whether it's financially not
an option for people, whether it's the system, doesn't you
know they you know, square pegs, round holes, that kind
of thing. So I think everyone is different. But I
like information gathering. I like knowledge. I think ignorance is
(08:16):
definitely not bliss certainly these days. I think information is
far more empowering and gives a person a sense of
self esteem when you understand, you know what you're about,
where you're coming from, and have a direction.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Do you think the rule is generally regardless of what
your kids say about what they want to do with
their lives, you just have to suck it up and
butt out, because if you try and steer them. I look,
I don't know. I think you can encourage, But I
think if you as soon as you say, I really
think you need to, Well, there's one thing to say,
you are to do this for a living. I think
(08:50):
it's a really really bad move. But if somebody, if
your child, is limiting their options early on, I think
the most I would do is, like I think you need,
is encourage them. I think I'd like to know that
you've got other options outside of that, because not everything
works out. So what do you think else? What are
the other options? What else excites you? What do you
enjoy doing? And try and just encourage that, which does
(09:12):
send a subtle signal that Dad's not redision to my
first choice?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Well, I think too. You've got to watch your language.
You've got to watch how you present things. It's like
giving somebody a present. People are going to be absolutely
thrilled when they receive a beautifully packaged and delivered present.
So with the messages that you're sending your children, watch
how you frame it. Watch the times when you have
those conversations. Don't make them stressy times around getting the
(09:36):
dinner ound. Just wait for an opportunity. And if you
feel ill at ease about things that your children have
said with regard to vocation and vocational options, you know,
pick it up again, but in a non confrontational way
when they're ready to receive the messages that you're there
to give. And I agree with you, push push push
is not the way to go, but just giving them information,
(09:59):
allowing them to think things through, getting alongside them and saying, hey,
you mentioned that you were quite interested in this, what
about this?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
This?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
And this? You want? You can actually manage those conversations
quite beautifully to direct and guide in a way that
perhaps you feel is a little more positive than.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Life actually taking you know, a side of it. There's
there's a secondary question attached to this, you know, the
career choice of your kids is I think the biggest
challenge for any anyone. I was going to say any child,
but anyone is trying to work out what you're what
you want to do, as opposed to I want to
do this you know profession and mom and dad don't
(10:38):
like it. But I think the biggest challenges is helping
your kids work out what they want to do. I
remember when I did law. I think I did it
because I was the youngest my three brothers, well two
out of my three brothers. No, they're all done tertiary
education in the end, and because of what they did.
I was just saying, I just assumed that that's what
you did, and he's here's how it worked out for me.
(11:01):
So I no, No, I mean not how it worked
out the decision making. I was quite good at history.
I quite liked studying history, right, I thought, I don't
think historians sounds like a serious career.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
And yes, today I like words, I like.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Forming an argument, and I thought maybe laws for me.
And I'd seen a television program about a Dunedin law
called handling, which I quite liked. And actually that probably
wasn't really the right it could have been the right
call for me. But and I enjoyed studying it. But
I'm not sure I really did what I had found
what I was passionate about. I sort of did what
I thought I should do with a bit of interest
(11:38):
from me. Well, and maybe I.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Quite I think you're being a bit hard on yourself, Tim,
I think you need to just settle back on that
couch and be part of the session with me tonight. No,
I think you made some really good decisions because you
looked to your strengths you looked to some things that
you liked, which was history and reading, and you know,
and you took the time to think about things and
(12:00):
from that, from those beginnings, you've ended up here doing
something that you've really liked, and along the way had
many adventures. And you know, also you've experienced success. I'm
sure like everybody, you've experienced some failure. But failure is
an opportunity to learn and grow and not to make
the same mistakes twice. So what's wrong with the pathway
that you took? Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
No, actually I look it back. No, no, no, no,
nothing necessarily go. But I just remember that. I Oh,
to be honest, if i'd really don't what I wanted
to do, I probaly would have got my part's license
when I was younger, I think.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
And why didn't you do that?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Because I think I've got some parental disapproval. Okay about
there you go about flying, and I think that was
something that one of my parents was a bit worried about.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Just worried about the safety fact.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I think, so that just me flying around in a
small system, So that is yeah, actually, no, so I
did get that. Isn't that funny that.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
I mind boggles with you on a plate and a
small plant.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Well, I have got my pilot's license. I got to
go later on, but that was much later on. But anyway,
that's another story. But look, I want to hear from
you out there. I one hundred eighty ten. It's and
it's a question that helps, whether you're just talking about
your own when you look back when you were a
child or a youth, or maybe just a young adult,
when did you work out what you wanted to do,
and how has it affected the way you help encourage
(13:20):
or hinder, perhaps on occasions your children from making a
decision about their careers. Would love to hear from you.
You can give us a call on eight hundred eighty
ten eighty in text on nine two nine two. We'll
be back in just a moment.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
I'm a dumb shadow wishes the jay down down Stish.
There's a party downtown fish. Everybody had bardet, everybody.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Had this news talks. It'd be this is the parents
Squad with Sarah Chatwin. It's not Sarah, not Sarah. I
keep I'm going to keep my mind on that mind works.
By the way, if you want to go and check
out the work that Sarah does mind works dot? That's
the one. Okay, let's take some calls. How did you
decide what you wanted to do? And how what do
(14:11):
you do with encouraging your kids or what if they're
doing you think that's not a good decision? Do you
just need to let them make work it out for themselves?
Eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is a number? Peter, Hello,
Hello Peter. Hang on a second, We just need to
bring a fader up there because we've got you there
in now high Peter.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
All right, thank you, great topic and just brought back
so many memories of my second daughter. Yes, second daughter
was first rugby first fifteen sort of girls at school, captain,
captain of the netball. Everyone loved her at school, et cetera,
et cetera. Um, babysat for all our farming neighbors. Everyone
(14:54):
loved to break cook, milk the cows. It's a strong woman.
When it came to the end of school, what do
you want them to do? You know you're so and everything?
No self esteem? Wow, my older sister, my older sister
is better. I haven't got good results.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I it blew us away because so competent and.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Exactly. And but for her, she didn't feel that she
was that good, you know, so it was quiet was
a shock for us. And so look, you can just
be early childhoods, be a teacher. You could be a
nurse that's so caring, who looked after our grandfather as
he was passing. She's just such a good nurse, cleaned
and everything, you know, just outstanding. But this is what
(15:49):
when it comes down to whom they want to decide something.
Was her decision to go and do something she couldn't decide.
So I got a little bit angry that got to
do something, you know, and then backed off. And we
got a polytechnic, can't go, don't want to go to investing. Okay,
we'll go to poor technique. And here we've got the
book book from them, and she went through the whole
(16:12):
book of only like one year courses, two year courses.
I won't get in there. My results aren't good enough there.
And then we found nannying a one year course and
I only took twenty people, and she said, well, I
won't get in there twenty and you had to have
(16:33):
and you had to have three babysitting people that had said,
you know, you know that you're good with kids changing
napping references. Yeah, references, Yeah took them. Man, she got
them amazing.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
That's so cool. So is that what she ended up doing.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
All over nannying all over the world.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
How long did it take you to discover her confidence?
Speaker 5 (17:00):
It was only once she decided to do something. That's
I think the hardest thing is that in the end
she just took the minimum one year course. And of
course the beauty of that is that in these courses
at Polytechnic, if they wanted to go to childcare or
if they wanted to go their credits.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Go with them, great options.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
But that didn't just start small. If they don't know
what they're doing, do something for a year. And just
like you were commenting, term do something. It wasn't in
the end, I wasn't really good enough. That wasn't. But
you made the step.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I think that, Yeah, I think you've known just taking
a decision. I've told the story before, but I made
of mine who his family didn't have a traditional going
to university. But he didn't know what to do, and
I said, look, just just go for the first year
and see what happens. And now he's been a teacher
all his life, I think, and but it's just whatever
it is, just take this first step and then another
(17:58):
one and then another one.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
Yeah, Nana, And it was just amazing. Yeah, through London,
all over the world, and came back and hooked up
with a guy in London she was working for. She
was working there. They're not millionaires, the billionaires, I said,
Mom and I are king gardeners. Do they need gardners?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
She's creating enowment opportunities for the whole family.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Thanks, thank you. Hey, by the way, just probably go
to Neil. When did you make your mind up to
be a psychologist?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
In Sarah, I always quite liked the idea of helping people.
I was quite into you know, I liked grandparents and
doing things around the house and doing things for people.
So I did quite like helping professions. So by the
time I was about ten or twelve, I had an inkling.
Like you, I thought about law because I'm quite a
fair minded person. But then when I watched those law
(18:55):
programs on Telly, I didn't like the way they had
to defend really horrible criminals. So that put me off law.
And when I got to university, you know, starting with
a pretty nebulous kind of degree, like a BA. But
I loved that BA. I found psychology, I found education,
and I was just absolutely sold. So I'd made a
decision about a helping profession. Didn't like blood, so I
(19:16):
didn't want to be a doctor or a nurse, you know,
So you're cutting down your options there. And I mean
I have been here ever since and I've loved it
so fairly early on for me, But I did have
a parent. My mum was very conversational and very open to,
you know, encouraging discussion in and around. You know, what
do you think you like, what do you like doing?
(19:36):
What are you passionate about stuff?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah, it's funny. I've come across people who don't like
their own blood, but they're actually they're okay with other people.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
So well, you know what the funny thing is, I
bred a doctor. My oldest son is a doctor, so good,
and so where that comes from with her mother who
does not like blood, I forget, you're not grown up
A couple of grown up kids.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Child right, Look, it's twenty nine past five, Neil, Hello, Hello, Hello?
Speaker 7 (20:00):
Is that Sarah Hei?
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Neil?
Speaker 7 (20:02):
Good? So I I was just doing like garden duties
like you know, winging and all sort of carry on
to a little bit of mine. I would have been
about forty nine and one of the first kids from
my brother's family was born, and I says to myself, well,
(20:28):
you know, things I had to change. So we've got
getting children into the family now so and then I
when grandchildren. I could see that far ahead, and it
always up to that time, even though I've got pretty
good shoulders in a built chest, always started to put
frail in my shoulders and chests. So I thought, I'm
going to have to be positive about let's take responsibility.
(20:51):
It's only one step, one step, baby step. So I
started mowing lawns by contract, all right. And then when
a child reached twenty, they went to Australia and came
back for a holiday here, and he'd been wishing in
an office and I said, do you think I'm tough?
Speaker 4 (21:13):
No?
Speaker 7 (21:13):
Which is not, which is teen nephew. But I was
trying to feel much more.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Robust, good stuff. I was trying to tie this into
the parenting topic about but that you've made your decisions
a bit later in life than Neil.
Speaker 7 (21:27):
Yeah, very much. So I wanted something outdoors because I
don't believe in offer sweep myself and fair enough.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
So oh I think we've lost Sorry, Neil, but we
are glad anyway outdoors. Nice to hear you, Neil. Take
take care of yourself. Hey, actually, there is another thing
I just want to touch on before we for the
rest of the hour, because uh, well, I think we've
covered that one. We've we've had some good chats about
(21:59):
the career talk. There's another one issue around a parenting
about if you have a new partner, and not so
much the step partner side of things, but when you
know a lot of huge number of relationships that don't
last right through and there are families coming in all
sorts of shapes and sizes, whether the new families and
(22:22):
stepmoms steped out and things like that. But of course,
if you have kids, when when do you think you
should When should you introduce your kids to your boyfriend
or girlfriend? I guess because it doesn't need to be
I mean, I guess it's how you introduce them, isn't it.
Because if you say, here's your new mum or here's
a new dad, that's probably not the best start as
(22:43):
opposed to I'm dating And this is the new because
this person can come into your child's life and all
of a sudden it doesn't work out. They suddenly disappear,
and that's another slight trauma for the kids, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Well, it's about when, and it's about how. There are
a lot of questions and issues around this. I think
the rule of thumb is if you are dating some
and it becomes a stable relationship and it looks like
it has longevity and you know you'll commit, there's some
level of commitment you would think about doing it. That
might be two, three, four, five, six months. People have
(23:18):
very different values in and around this. So for one
person in one psychologist certainly to say hey, by month
two or by month six, you should be doing this,
you can't say that because you don't know how the
dating situation has played out. It may be that you
you know, there was an instant connection and you have
you know, agreed to proceed with you know, haste because
(23:40):
you feel that there's love and all the rest of it.
It may be that you're dating casually for six months
and then you decide, no, this person's really cool and
I want them to be part of that.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
But also you don't want to be dating in secret either,
do you, and so in avoiding that person meeting your kids.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Yeah, but I also think that children don't need to
be bought into anything too soon, because, as you say,
there is the potential for things not to quite work
out because you do not know a person after a
couple of weeks or even a couple of months. It
takes a little bit of time to get to know
that person. And if children are young, if they're teenagers,
if they're going through, you know, the grief of a
(24:19):
marriage that's broken down, of a family that's split, they
don't necessarily need more trauma and stress. I also think
tim that people know their children, their own children, so
far be it from anyone else to kind of say
to you or to me, to anyone, hey, listen, you
need to get your kids in front of that new partner,
you know, within the first couple of months. People need
to take ownership of the knowledge that they have about
(24:43):
their children and then make the judgment and the call
based on that.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Look. And I guess the thing is life is full
of bumps and relationships that come and go. I wonder
if you can live it. I wonder if there is
also that thing that no matter how wonderful it seems
and how much you might think this person is going
to get on well with your kids, Ultimately you still
don't know, because relationships come and go, and you might
(25:07):
have a fantastic relationship, but then again it might last
you know, it might not last for more than and
it might last for a while where you're not going
to I just wonder if you can overthink the stuff.
It was what I'm saying, because I do think no
relationship is guaranteed.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
There's a degree of going with the flow, but there
are a whole lot of other variables that come into account.
For example, an ex partner coming into a new dating
I mean that can be if they're nice, that's great.
If they're supportive, if they are putting their kids at
the forefront and working on that basis, you know, not
using their children as porns, then that's fine. But if
(25:43):
you have an ex who you know is frustrated or
nasty or has a gender negative agenda, then you're in
for trouble. And those are all variables that you have
no knowledge of how they're going to impact on the relationship.
So there's a lot of things to consider, and that's
why I think rule of thumbers just take time to
integrate and to assimilate.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Actually that it amazes me the number of times you
encounter loving parents who have separated who still it's like
they can't help themselves, but they use the kids as pawns.
And you wonder if they actually realize they're doing it,
but they make the Yeah, I don't know. Is it
quite common that you know that parents end up forgetting
(26:27):
that actually, whatever you do the kids, what is in
the children's best interests right now?
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah? Unfortunately, I have to say that I see a
lot of people and these are you know, they might
be really nice people, they might be people who are
a little damaged by that dissolution, divorce process, separation process.
But I yeah, on the daily, on the weekly, I
am very surprised, often overwhelmed at how much manipulation goes
(26:57):
on with regard to kids. The parents that do that
are not thinking about their children. They are thinking about themselves.
And that is not that's abdicating responsibility as a parent.
That's not parenting in my view.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Is it something that they do without realizing what they're doing,
Like if it's sort of dawned on them or was
presented to them, do you have you thought about and
they'd stop and go I hadn't really thought about that.
I was just so angry.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
So yeah, I think there are definitely people who are
driven by anger and frustration and grief. I mean that
when a relationship falls apart, there's a component of grief
associated with particularly if you've been with a person for
a long time, so associated with that dynamic. But you know,
(27:42):
parents are big kids, they're house so they are really
tasked with making decisions that are in the best interests
of their children and decrying the other person and you know,
not supporting really positive, good things to do with their
or even what I've noticed in some is that, you know,
(28:06):
if there is a lot of anger and angst and negativity,
one or other of the couple tries to cut the
relationship between the children and the other parent out. That's
just weird. The children are the progeny of those two people,
and if they are, then they you know, unless there
are very very good reasons not to see both parents.
(28:29):
Children should have relationships or be you know, should be
allowed to have relationships with both parents. There are a
lot of really good parents out there, good mums and
good dads who are not parenting together. But the children
should be able and the children should be able to
have relationships equally and not have the notion of family
(28:51):
completely decimated.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
What is the when you're thinking about the new boyfriend
or girlfriend? What is the I mean, there's no hard
and fast rules to these sens. No, you can never
draft hard and fast rules.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
But because we're all so different, and I guess.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
You say is it's about knowing your kids and having
a sense of how they're going to take some news.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
But in general, if you are concerned about if you're
just cautious about when you introduce that person, I mean,
how do you actually introduce that person and describe to
maybe I don't know whatever age. Teenagers are probably a
little they know a bit more about the facts of life,
I guess just for a while.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
Well, look, you know, we don't want to give teens
a bad rap, because I think teenagers are incredible. I've
had incredible teenagers. Absolutely, you know, not a whole heap
of problems that you wouldn't expect that when you know,
outside the realms of normality. So we don't want to
give them a bad rap. But certainly they are in
a position where they can make more informed decisions and
(29:49):
they have the the you know, the cerebral wherewithal to
make sense of what's going on. I would say, you know,
before you actually physically bring a person into the space
with your kids, and certainly I'm not talking about living together.
I'm talking about just introductions, you know, mention about the
dating process and about the fact that you know, and
(30:11):
then let them kind of mull that over, and then
mention about a person that is particularly nice and stand out,
and let them get comfortable with the notion of a
person who you know has has taken your fancy, and
then somewheres down the track you roll up and you say, hey, listen,
would you like to meet this person and just see
(30:32):
how that's received. But certainly, you know, not absolutely sticking
this stuff in people's faces is going to work, or
being confrontational with it, I guess I have.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Heard I have heard heard of stories as well, where
you know, the parents sort of taken a while and
they've and they've been a bit nervous about and the
kids have almost been the ones that been like, Mum,
more dad, goodness, we just want to see you. We
just want to see you happy sort of thing, and
actually you know that. I know it's not what we've
set for conversation, but decide issue on that is, you
(31:02):
know that. And I think entertainment feed into this because
we're often reading about the problems that kids are having
in teens. But actually my experiences has been just with
my girls as they grow up, and maybe you know,
I'm happy with the school that they're going to, and
everything is actually seeing that the role that the school
places with role models influencing and coaching and the girls
(31:24):
and things. And actually, you know what, young people, or
at least the young people I've come into, and you
get a range of behaviors as you do with all
human beings, right, but there are some awesome kids out there.
There are amazing role models, and I just look at that,
for instance, the women, the young women, the girls who
help coaching my daughter's netball and hockey teams. I just
(31:44):
think they're fantastic. They're just such great role models and
it's so important.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
I think sometimes particularly i've been talking to international clients.
I work with Australians and Americans, and you know, sometimes
when we sit in this little geographical corner of the world.
We can get a little bit inward, looking a little
bit insular, and sometimes that translates into a bit of
negativity and perhaps a deficit oriented approach to things where
(32:10):
we're looking for issues. You're quite right. I have also
encountered some amazing teenagers and great kids, and they just stella.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Actually, one of the pleasures I get when I watch
my daughter play hockey today. I love Saturday morning sport,
but I think one of the kicks that the other
parents get out of it as well is just seeing
the kids in a team environment with one of another
student who's a coach, and watching them how they're responding
to that, and it's just it's bloody fantastic.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
It fills the cup, it really does, and we need
to see more and do more of that kind of stuff.
No issues here in the Parents.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Squad, absolutely they win to nil. Fantastic player of the
day show off. Anyway, Hey, thanks so much, Sarah, nice
to see You'll look forward to next time. That is,
the Parents Squad will be back in just a moment.
Elliott Smith joins us from I think from Eden Park
of course is I think there's a game that won't
be going on tonight. We'll be back in just a moment.
(33:08):
It is about seventeen and a half minutes to six
on Newstalk's Hit B.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Then the Bull No, maybe see week bill.
Speaker 5 (33:19):
Lit then the hell.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Yeah, a little bit of Beatles there, Yes, that Raps
appearance squad. Actually, you can go and check out the
podcast on iHeartRadio. Look for the Weekend Collective And right
now it is. It's fourteen minutes to six new Stalks
hed B.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Good Weekend Collective Sports Raute.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yes, enjoining us to wrap sport. He is at Eden
Park getting ready for the big game. It's Elliott Smith.
Good afternoon, Elliott.
Speaker 8 (33:50):
Good a toim house.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Things not too bad now, look, let's just first things first.
I had a beverage on sport moment when I was
We were talking about the Warriors a few days ago,
and I thought, you know how they love to knock
off the really top rated guys from time to time
and surprise us. The problem is is when they play
the bottom of the table, they often in danger of
not going so well. And I predicted that they might lose,
(34:11):
which was ungenerous of me. But twenty four nil Titans Warriors,
what the hell?
Speaker 4 (34:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (34:16):
Twenty four nil down obviously on the back of that
lost to the Storm last week. But eih, the Titans,
fear to say, aren't creating too many waves this season,
right at the foot of the ladder, and somehow they've
struck gold against the Warriors excused the pun this afternoon
and are on fire against some twenty four nil up.
I suppose a cautionary tale for them. The Warriors are
(34:38):
up fourteen nil against the Storm last week and still
lost relatively comfortably, so there is hope if you're a
Warriors fan. But they have just missed so many tackles
this afternoon. It's just approaching half time, about thirty seconds out. Yeah,
twenty four nil down and I think they've mist twenty
seven tackles to about five. So the Titans have been
(34:58):
on form in this first half as they look to
break through again. In fact, I think they're going to
score another one. Just on the stroke of half time
they asked, it's going to be probably thirty zerl heading
into the halftime break. So things are not going well
for the Warriors. The Sun No.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
I actually you did have a little turn of phrase
there which I think sums up the optimism of the
Warriors supporters who have got to be some of the
best sports fans in the country. And you said, there
is hope if you're a Warriors fan, they should get
a T shirt made like that, because.
Speaker 8 (35:24):
Exactly, I mean, they had a whole marketing campaign around
the matter of fate. What was it about twenty years ago?
Speaker 4 (35:30):
You know?
Speaker 8 (35:30):
And then I suppose that the great thing about Warriors
fans isn't it the matter of faith and up the
wise whatever goes wrong with this team? And then there's
been a lot they still maintained that, you know, it's
going to be the year.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I guess why it's so exciting all the time. You
never know what's going to happen. Well, we don't know
what it's going to do. Yeah, we don't know what's
going to happen tonight. But you're there for the big game.
Now it's it's well earliest days, but the crowd will
be rolling in. It's sold out. Tell us about what's
the atmosphere like right now with a bit of quite
a bit of time to go before you call the game.
Speaker 8 (35:58):
Yeah, well, I was just down at ground level when
the gates opened, bang on five o'clock. I was at
one of the gates getting a coffee and the crowds
streamed in. There were plenty of fans waiting at the
gates waiting for it to be opened up at five o'clock.
And I tell you it's him that at that point
the Chiefs fans were outnumbering the Blues by a rick
in five to one that was streaming through the game.
So the Blues maybe they've stuck around the bars in Kingsland.
(36:21):
They know their way to the ground, they know how
to get here and how the attack them. But the
Chiefs fans have got it nice and early for this one.
But a lot have had to go back underneath the
concourse because we've had over the last forty five minutes.
Also since gates open, probably two or three showers that
have swept over the ground and another one at the moment. Look,
it's not heavy by any stretch of the imagination, but
(36:42):
it is enough to create some of an impact. And
I can see plenty of ponchos and jackets on around
the ground in front of me, some hardy fans sort
of sticking it out on the stands, but a lot
of sneaked up to the top of the concourse to
try and brave or avoid the rain for the time being,
just over an hour to kick off.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Well, yeah, the forecast I'm looking at it does look
like there's going to be a bit of moisture. Well,
I hadn't thought of that at all because it was
such a lovely morning.
Speaker 8 (37:06):
Well, Nathan Lyne's gonna be running touch for us tonight
on the Godswall coverage and he's got a rain jacket
ready to go. So there's going to be, yeah, perhaps
a few showers to contend with them, which will probably
suit the Blues in all honesty, Tim that they keep
it in tight. They have this year. You know, the
expansive Blues that we've thought of so long haven't really
been the case this year. They've kept it in tight.
(37:26):
They barged their way over the line. The Chiefs play expansively.
The weather could stop them from doing that.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Yeah, well, I mean the Blue success has been based
on sort of doing what the opposite of what we've
got to know them for, which is playing expansively with flair.
But their forward pack this year have been pretty blooming good, haven't.
Speaker 8 (37:45):
They They have? Year? Like so Offaton get fast, he's
been superb, but he's scored six tries this season. Patrick
toy Beloto, making him miraculous come back this week to
get the start at Locke and captain this team tonight.
You're supposed to be out for six to seven weeks
with a medial.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Wow and tier Yeah what was that? Was it actually
a tear or something else? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (38:06):
It's remarkable that he's come back so quickly. Look, you
hope he's not going to aggravate it further. I know
there was a bit of doubt in certain Chiefs fans
that he it was all a bit of a run.
He wasn't going to start. But we'll see the final kickoff.
The final teams are due for in about fifteen minutes
for kickoff, so we'll see if he's there at that
point ready to go for for tonight's game. But a
(38:27):
remarkable kickoff. But they have been built around that full
play this season and that's been the real strength of
their game. They lose Ford Trio, Hoskins Tudu. The Fords
have done the work for them this season. The backs
have been good, but I haven't had that expansive style
that they've played in recent times.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
What are the key matchups where's the game going to be?
I mean it's a cliche question, but seriously, where's it
going to be? One and lost? What's what's key for
each play?
Speaker 8 (38:50):
Well, it is the full back and both have got
remarkable strengths. You look at the loose Ford trio and Hoskins,
Tuto Dold and Papaletti, a kidd of Yuani for the Blues.
Wallace to Titi has been superb in the last couple
of weeks for the Chiefs. At the back of the
scrup Luke Jacobson there alongside him and Samma Penny Fena
can there loose Ford trio. So out of that Max
(39:12):
there's five players there. You can make a very good
argument to be in the All Black squad when that's
announced on Monday. The Lock's a good matchup as well.
I think the edge where the Blues have it probably
is in the front row off of tong a fast
he was he touched on their mars 'netta. The scrum's
been a weapon this year in terms of getting penalties
and getting them into the right areas, the parks that
could be crucial.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Well, look, I won't ask you to make too much
of a prediction. Given the job you've got to do
in the next a short little while. But who do
you think is going to win?
Speaker 4 (39:39):
Though?
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Don't worry about Marchins.
Speaker 8 (39:41):
I'm not gonna argue for a production.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
But I mean in terms of I was going to
say that I reckon the Blues are going to do
them by more than fourteen points.
Speaker 5 (39:48):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
But that's because I like to make bold predictions.
Speaker 8 (39:51):
That is a bold prediction. I think Blues by five tonight.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Tim excellent, Elliott, Well, have a great call. And by
the way, just quickly, did you get mobbed when you
go for a coffee at the ground. That's the great
Eliot Smith.
Speaker 8 (40:01):
We're not quite there, you know, no, not quite at
their point yet, but I'm sure it's come. It's coming.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Hey, have a great call. I'm sure that our listeners
are in great hands. Elliot Smith. Good luck, mate, and
thanks for your time. There we go Elliott Smith at
Eden Park. Back in just a moment. Yeah, back to
the week being collective. Hey, thanks for tuning in. Just
let you know what's happening tomorrow for the health aub
We're joined by the folk from Trenton Hearing talking about
all any question you have around looking after your hearing
(40:28):
and hearing solutions and a new guest as well from Concilium.
Are we going to joins us for excuse me for
smart money and of course Politics Central from three o'clock.
By the way, when I asked when I asked Elliott
for a prediction, I meant I wasn't going to ask
him for a big score prediction. But I did still
ask him for a prediction, so I realized I'd basically
contradict myself instantly and that one. Anyway, up next is
(40:52):
it's time for In My Day with Roman Travers. He's
going to talk about the stuff you've collected over the years.
What are the things that you well, hoarding could be
a word, but do you hang on to things on
the off chants and actually what have you got if
you were to go in a rummage in the back
of your closet, old letters and all sorts of things,
what have you kept or hoarded? That's an In My
Day next with Roman Travis. Thanks to my producer Joe Coughlin.
(41:12):
Enjoy your evening, go the Blues and we'll catch you
again tomorrow three o'clock Catch your son
Speaker 1 (41:24):
For more from the Weekend Collective listen live to news
Talk said Be weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks edb.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
And welcome back to the Weekend Collective. I'm Tim Beverage
and this is the Parents Squad. We want your calls
one hundred eighty ten eighty. You can text on nine
to nine two. By the way, if you've missed any
of our previous hours, gosh, it was a fun chat
with Ed McKnight. Lots of laughs during the during in
the context of getting some great information as well, and
the panel as well from three to four. If you
want to check out the podcast, go to iHeartRadio look
(00:53):
for the Weekend Collective. Right now. As I say though,
it is time for the Parents Squad. And my guest
is from an organization called mind Works. She's a psychologist
and her name actually she lives in my neck of
the woods, as I found out when I was going
for a run and I heard someone wolf was to
let me and it is a chat one.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Yeah, don't you actually go around wolf whistling me. But
you're looking pretty fit, Tim, I've got to say, there
you go.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Atual after the showy, thanks for that. Actually at the
end of it, so I'm not sure if I was
looking that fresh was I was at the start. I
can't remember anyway. How are you doing anyway?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Pretty good? Yeah, a little bit chilly, but box of
box of bods. Yeah, well you're you're pretty.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Have I got their conditioning down to.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
A lovely little temperature in the studio. I've got to
tell the listeners you're a bit spoiled what being in
here with.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
You knowing it's a woman here.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
It's lovely in here.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I love being in here with my guests and having
a good chat about stuff. Hey, by the way, you're
not going to the rugby tonight, are you?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
No?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I'm here and then I'm scarving off home to do
a little bit of Edmond and then have a nice
relaxing Saturday night and okay, good bit of a good
lazy weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yea. By the way, we'll be having people, if you're listening,
we'll be having a chat with Elliott Smith before the
rugby and what's rapid about court to sex? But let's
talk about the first topic that I threw out there
just as a teaser when I began the show, the
choice of career for your kids. And the example I've
had a chat with someone is like when there are
(02:19):
an increasing number of kids who say, well, they make
their decisions about careers, and I don't know if the
parents should get too involved with that. But the question is,
what if you think they're choosing our career which is
going to consign them to a life of struggle and
poverty and the chances of success are low?
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Hond you read bored? How much negativity?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
But how much? But for instance, people who want to
be YouTubers. Okay, there are some examples of YouTubers who
make millions of dollars and the others make probably pocket money.
But if you what do you do? If you are
naturally concerned and we're all concerned about our kids' futures.
Of course that's the plight of being a parent. But
(03:01):
what if you think, I really think they need to
think twice about this?
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Yeah? I mean that is part of parenting, isn't it
That you do care and you're concerned, and you have
an eye on you know what's going on, and you
keep conversation and pathways of communication open with your child
with regard to future. You might some parents start talking
about the stuff relatively young, you know, ten twelve.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
One of the thing is who knows what you want
to do. I didn't have a clue all over them.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
A lot of people are like that, and of course
I think a lot of parents give their children options
and again are available to have the discussion so that
a child feels that they can talk about things with
their parents. Got to watch that kind of vicarious stuff,
you know, living a little bit vicariously through your children,
and you know, hitting them or pointing them in the
direction of careers that perhaps you felt you wanted to achieve,
(03:48):
but never did.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I think that. Actually, it must be tough for kids
who are born into a successful family business where there's
this huge expectation that they've and you know, if it's
a family business, many of them incredibly successful, and.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Well, hang on, we're talking rugby. It could be a
family business, could be a sporting you know, born into
a family of elite athletes or athletes.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's always amused when a rugby player says, on my
boys play soccer or something. I'm like and actually they're
quite happy about it. But I think all you want
is for your kids to be happy. And I think
probably the time when you might feel that you want
to chip in is if they're making a decision that's
going to limit their options in life. And look, I
mean you're talking to someone who look I did a
(04:31):
lawd agree. But I went off and I said to
my mom, I want to be a singer of musical theater,
hardly having sung a note. And I think she was
a little bit that's nice to here, and then when
she thought I was really serious, she said, we'll go
and get singing lessons into it properly. And I must
say I if I would having been through that, yes,
I would not really want my kids to do it,
(04:52):
but only because if you really want to do it,
you need to overcome some resistance as well, because if
you're easily put off, then you shouldn't do it anyway.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Well, what a lovely open minded mum that you had
for that day, because generally people were probably more of
a mind mindset that you know, you went out into
something that was a little more established and not so far.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I was surprised. I was, really, I mean, that's.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
A very supportive mindset. I do think that we need
to be careful that we don't want to live our
lives through our children. It's really helpful, I think, And
as a psychologist, I see that this is helpful with
clients and with children of clients, teenagers of clients, that
parents allow them to explore and give them options and
(05:33):
talk them through the options, give them all the information
they need to make informed decisions and choices. That's really helpful.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
I think.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Also, if you've got say you've got a ten year
old he says I want to do something in there,
and you don't think it's a great idea, you can
probably prefer to take a breath and think it's early days.
You know, they've got seven years worth of school hopefully left,
and a lot of influence from peers and teachers and
just let things play them. So I have no idea
what I wanted to be when I was ten, but.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Some people do. I mean, it's different for everyone. And
the other thing is with that conversation, if you have
a ten year old that you know comes up with
something absolutely, you know, out of this universe, and you think, wow,
that's pretty out there. I'm not sure that I want
to see my kid walk down that pathway. At least
you can open the conversation and you can give them
(06:21):
some facts, some information. You could actually you know, explore
those options together. You could make it a little thing
that you and your child do together. Okay, well that's
an interesting kind of one. I didn't think that you'd
be interested in that, but let's talk about it. You know,
why do you want to be why do you want
to go down that path? What interests you about that
career choice. I mean, it's quite nice to just get
(06:42):
those you know, those neurons in the brain popping and
discuss things.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
And you know, actually, actually I've my daughters have suggested
different things they want to do, and I've there have
been some things I think, oh that'd be that sounds good,
and I mean, but it all sounds feels early days.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
But I think when the when the rubber hits the
road in a way, when they start saying, well, becaurse,
I want to do this, so I'm going to do
these subjects or I guess in the end, when it
comes to studying, I think, just keep furthering. I fall
back on the things whatever you're studying, keep furthering your education,
and just keep furthering your education. No matter what you choose,
(07:22):
things will come out of the fact that you have
just kept on building those building blocks. I guess, no
matter what the subjects are.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
So if it's education, I think that's great. And if
people choose to walk down that pathway and extend their education,
you're talking tertiary and beyond great. I like information gathering.
I mean, we have seen example after example of people
who have relatively sketchy educations who have made it big.
(07:52):
Now I'm not suggesting that everybody gives up on education,
not at all, but for some people university isn't, oh no,
great an option for many reasons, whether it's financially not
an option for people, whether it's the system, doesn't you
know they you know, square pegs, round holes, that kind
of thing. So I think everyone is different. But I
like information gathering. I like knowledge. I think ignorance is
(08:16):
definitely not bliss certainly these days. I think information is
far more empowering and gives a person a sense of
self esteem when you understand, you know what you're about,
where you're coming from, and have a direction.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Do you think the rule is generally regardless of what
your kids say about what they want to do with
their lives, you just have to suck it up and
butt out, because if you try and steer them. I look,
I don't know. I think you can encourage, But I
think if you as soon as you say, I really
think you need to, Well, there's one thing to say,
you are to do this for a living. I think
(08:50):
it's a really really bad move. But if somebody, if
your child, is limiting their options early on, I think
the most I would do is, like I think you need,
is encourage them. I think I'd like to know that
you've got other options outside of that, because not everything
works out. So what do you think else? What are
the other options? What else excites you? What do you
enjoy doing? And try and just encourage that, which does
(09:12):
send a subtle signal that Dad's not redision to my
first choice?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Well, I think too. You've got to watch your language.
You've got to watch how you present things. It's like
giving somebody a present. People are going to be absolutely
thrilled when they receive a beautifully packaged and delivered present.
So with the messages that you're sending your children, watch
how you frame it. Watch the times when you have
those conversations. Don't make them stressy times around getting the
(09:36):
dinner ound. Just wait for an opportunity. And if you
feel ill at ease about things that your children have
said with regard to vocation and vocational options, you know,
pick it up again, but in a non confrontational way
when they're ready to receive the messages that you're there
to give. And I agree with you, push push push
is not the way to go, but just giving them information,
(09:59):
allowing them to think things through, getting alongside them and saying, hey,
you mentioned that you were quite interested in this, what
about this?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
This?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
And this? You want? You can actually manage those conversations
quite beautifully to direct and guide in a way that
perhaps you feel is a little more positive than.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Life actually taking you know, a side of it. There's
there's a secondary question attached to this, you know, the
career choice of your kids is I think the biggest
challenge for any anyone. I was going to say any child,
but anyone is trying to work out what you're what
you want to do, as opposed to I want to
do this you know profession and mom and dad don't
(10:38):
like it. But I think the biggest challenges is helping
your kids work out what they want to do. I
remember when I did law. I think I did it
because I was the youngest my three brothers, well two
out of my three brothers. No, they're all done tertiary
education in the end, and because of what they did.
I was just saying, I just assumed that that's what
you did, and he's here's how it worked out for me.
(11:01):
So I no, No, I mean not how it worked
out the decision making. I was quite good at history.
I quite liked studying history, right, I thought, I don't
think historians sounds like a serious career.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
And yes, today I like words, I like.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Forming an argument, and I thought maybe laws for me.
And I'd seen a television program about a Dunedin law
called handling, which I quite liked. And actually that probably
wasn't really the right it could have been the right
call for me. But and I enjoyed studying it. But
I'm not sure I really did what I had found
what I was passionate about. I sort of did what
I thought I should do with a bit of interest
(11:38):
from me. Well, and maybe I.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Quite I think you're being a bit hard on yourself, Tim,
I think you need to just settle back on that
couch and be part of the session with me tonight. No,
I think you made some really good decisions because you
looked to your strengths you looked to some things that
you liked, which was history and reading, and you know,
and you took the time to think about things and
(12:00):
from that, from those beginnings, you've ended up here doing
something that you've really liked, and along the way had
many adventures. And you know, also you've experienced success. I'm
sure like everybody, you've experienced some failure. But failure is
an opportunity to learn and grow and not to make
the same mistakes twice. So what's wrong with the pathway
that you took? Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
No, actually I look it back. No, no, no, no,
nothing necessarily go. But I just remember that. I Oh,
to be honest, if i'd really don't what I wanted
to do, I probaly would have got my part's license
when I was younger, I think.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
And why didn't you do that?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Because I think I've got some parental disapproval. Okay about
there you go about flying, and I think that was
something that one of my parents was a bit worried about.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Just worried about the safety fact.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I think, so that just me flying around in a
small system, So that is yeah, actually, no, so I
did get that. Isn't that funny that.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
I mind boggles with you on a plate and a
small plant.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Well, I have got my pilot's license. I got to
go later on, but that was much later on. But anyway,
that's another story. But look, I want to hear from
you out there. I one hundred eighty ten. It's and
it's a question that helps, whether you're just talking about
your own when you look back when you were a
child or a youth, or maybe just a young adult,
when did you work out what you wanted to do,
and how has it affected the way you help encourage
(13:20):
or hinder, perhaps on occasions your children from making a
decision about their careers. Would love to hear from you.
You can give us a call on eight hundred eighty
ten eighty in text on nine two nine two. We'll
be back in just a moment.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
I'm a dumb shadow wishes the jay down down Stish.
There's a party downtown fish. Everybody had bardet, everybody.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Had this news talks. It'd be this is the parents
Squad with Sarah Chatwin. It's not Sarah, not Sarah. I
keep I'm going to keep my mind on that mind works.
By the way, if you want to go and check
out the work that Sarah does mind works dot? That's
the one. Okay, let's take some calls. How did you
decide what you wanted to do? And how what do
(14:11):
you do with encouraging your kids or what if they're
doing you think that's not a good decision? Do you
just need to let them make work it out for themselves?
Eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is a number? Peter, Hello,
Hello Peter. Hang on a second, We just need to
bring a fader up there because we've got you there
in now high Peter.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
All right, thank you, great topic and just brought back
so many memories of my second daughter. Yes, second daughter
was first rugby first fifteen sort of girls at school, captain,
captain of the netball. Everyone loved her at school, et cetera,
et cetera. Um, babysat for all our farming neighbors. Everyone
(14:54):
loved to break cook, milk the cows. It's a strong woman.
When it came to the end of school, what do
you want them to do? You know you're so and everything?
No self esteem? Wow, my older sister, my older sister
is better. I haven't got good results.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I it blew us away because so competent and.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Exactly. And but for her, she didn't feel that she
was that good, you know, so it was quiet was
a shock for us. And so look, you can just
be early childhoods, be a teacher. You could be a
nurse that's so caring, who looked after our grandfather as
he was passing. She's just such a good nurse, cleaned
and everything, you know, just outstanding. But this is what
(15:49):
when it comes down to whom they want to decide something.
Was her decision to go and do something she couldn't decide.
So I got a little bit angry that got to
do something, you know, and then backed off. And we
got a polytechnic, can't go, don't want to go to investing. Okay,
we'll go to poor technique. And here we've got the
book book from them, and she went through the whole
(16:12):
book of only like one year courses, two year courses.
I won't get in there. My results aren't good enough there.
And then we found nannying a one year course and
I only took twenty people, and she said, well, I
won't get in there twenty and you had to have
(16:33):
and you had to have three babysitting people that had said,
you know, you know that you're good with kids changing
napping references. Yeah, references, Yeah took them. Man, she got
them amazing.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
That's so cool. So is that what she ended up doing.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
All over nannying all over the world.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
How long did it take you to discover her confidence?
Speaker 5 (17:00):
It was only once she decided to do something. That's
I think the hardest thing is that in the end
she just took the minimum one year course. And of
course the beauty of that is that in these courses
at Polytechnic, if they wanted to go to childcare or
if they wanted to go their credits.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Go with them, great options.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
But that didn't just start small. If they don't know
what they're doing, do something for a year. And just
like you were commenting, term do something. It wasn't in
the end, I wasn't really good enough. That wasn't. But
you made the step.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I think that, Yeah, I think you've known just taking
a decision. I've told the story before, but I made
of mine who his family didn't have a traditional going
to university. But he didn't know what to do, and
I said, look, just just go for the first year
and see what happens. And now he's been a teacher
all his life, I think, and but it's just whatever
it is, just take this first step and then another
(17:58):
one and then another one.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
Yeah, Nana, And it was just amazing. Yeah, through London,
all over the world, and came back and hooked up
with a guy in London she was working for. She
was working there. They're not millionaires, the billionaires, I said,
Mom and I are king gardeners. Do they need gardners?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
She's creating enowment opportunities for the whole family.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Thanks, thank you. Hey, by the way, just probably go
to Neil. When did you make your mind up to
be a psychologist?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
In Sarah, I always quite liked the idea of helping people.
I was quite into you know, I liked grandparents and
doing things around the house and doing things for people.
So I did quite like helping professions. So by the
time I was about ten or twelve, I had an inkling.
Like you, I thought about law because I'm quite a
fair minded person. But then when I watched those law
(18:55):
programs on Telly, I didn't like the way they had
to defend really horrible criminals. So that put me off law.
And when I got to university, you know, starting with
a pretty nebulous kind of degree, like a BA. But
I loved that BA. I found psychology, I found education,
and I was just absolutely sold. So I'd made a
decision about a helping profession. Didn't like blood, so I
(19:16):
didn't want to be a doctor or a nurse, you know,
So you're cutting down your options there. And I mean
I have been here ever since and I've loved it
so fairly early on for me, But I did have
a parent. My mum was very conversational and very open to,
you know, encouraging discussion in and around. You know, what
do you think you like, what do you like doing?
(19:36):
What are you passionate about stuff?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah, it's funny. I've come across people who don't like
their own blood, but they're actually they're okay with other people.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
So well, you know what the funny thing is, I
bred a doctor. My oldest son is a doctor, so good,
and so where that comes from with her mother who
does not like blood, I forget, you're not grown up
A couple of grown up kids.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Child right, Look, it's twenty nine past five, Neil, Hello, Hello, Hello?
Speaker 7 (20:00):
Is that Sarah Hei?
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Neil?
Speaker 7 (20:02):
Good? So I I was just doing like garden duties
like you know, winging and all sort of carry on
to a little bit of mine. I would have been
about forty nine and one of the first kids from
my brother's family was born, and I says to myself, well,
(20:28):
you know, things I had to change. So we've got
getting children into the family now so and then I
when grandchildren. I could see that far ahead, and it
always up to that time, even though I've got pretty
good shoulders in a built chest, always started to put
frail in my shoulders and chests. So I thought, I'm
going to have to be positive about let's take responsibility.
(20:51):
It's only one step, one step, baby step. So I
started mowing lawns by contract, all right. And then when
a child reached twenty, they went to Australia and came
back for a holiday here, and he'd been wishing in
an office and I said, do you think I'm tough?
Speaker 4 (21:13):
No?
Speaker 7 (21:13):
Which is not, which is teen nephew. But I was
trying to feel much more.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Robust, good stuff. I was trying to tie this into
the parenting topic about but that you've made your decisions
a bit later in life than Neil.
Speaker 7 (21:27):
Yeah, very much. So I wanted something outdoors because I
don't believe in offer sweep myself and fair enough.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
So oh I think we've lost Sorry, Neil, but we
are glad anyway outdoors. Nice to hear you, Neil. Take
take care of yourself. Hey, actually, there is another thing
I just want to touch on before we for the
rest of the hour, because uh, well, I think we've
covered that one. We've we've had some good chats about
(21:59):
the career talk. There's another one issue around a parenting
about if you have a new partner, and not so
much the step partner side of things, but when you
know a lot of huge number of relationships that don't
last right through and there are families coming in all
sorts of shapes and sizes, whether the new families and
(22:22):
stepmoms steped out and things like that. But of course,
if you have kids, when when do you think you
should When should you introduce your kids to your boyfriend
or girlfriend? I guess because it doesn't need to be
I mean, I guess it's how you introduce them, isn't it.
Because if you say, here's your new mum or here's
a new dad, that's probably not the best start as
(22:43):
opposed to I'm dating And this is the new because
this person can come into your child's life and all
of a sudden it doesn't work out. They suddenly disappear,
and that's another slight trauma for the kids, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Well, it's about when, and it's about how. There are
a lot of questions and issues around this. I think
the rule of thumb is if you are dating some
and it becomes a stable relationship and it looks like
it has longevity and you know you'll commit, there's some
level of commitment you would think about doing it. That
might be two, three, four, five, six months. People have
(23:18):
very different values in and around this. So for one
person in one psychologist certainly to say hey, by month
two or by month six, you should be doing this,
you can't say that because you don't know how the
dating situation has played out. It may be that you
you know, there was an instant connection and you have
you know, agreed to proceed with you know, haste because
(23:40):
you feel that there's love and all the rest of it.
It may be that you're dating casually for six months
and then you decide, no, this person's really cool and
I want them to be part of that.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
But also you don't want to be dating in secret either,
do you, and so in avoiding that person meeting your kids.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Yeah, but I also think that children don't need to
be bought into anything too soon, because, as you say,
there is the potential for things not to quite work
out because you do not know a person after a
couple of weeks or even a couple of months. It
takes a little bit of time to get to know
that person. And if children are young, if they're teenagers,
if they're going through, you know, the grief of a
(24:19):
marriage that's broken down, of a family that's split, they
don't necessarily need more trauma and stress. I also think
tim that people know their children, their own children, so
far be it from anyone else to kind of say
to you or to me, to anyone, hey, listen, you
need to get your kids in front of that new partner,
you know, within the first couple of months. People need
to take ownership of the knowledge that they have about
(24:43):
their children and then make the judgment and the call
based on that.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Look. And I guess the thing is life is full
of bumps and relationships that come and go. I wonder
if you can live it. I wonder if there is
also that thing that no matter how wonderful it seems
and how much you might think this person is going
to get on well with your kids, Ultimately you still
don't know, because relationships come and go, and you might
(25:07):
have a fantastic relationship, but then again it might last
you know, it might not last for more than and
it might last for a while where you're not going
to I just wonder if you can overthink the stuff.
It was what I'm saying, because I do think no
relationship is guaranteed.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
There's a degree of going with the flow, but there
are a whole lot of other variables that come into account.
For example, an ex partner coming into a new dating
I mean that can be if they're nice, that's great.
If they're supportive, if they are putting their kids at
the forefront and working on that basis, you know, not
using their children as porns, then that's fine. But if
(25:43):
you have an ex who you know is frustrated or
nasty or has a gender negative agenda, then you're in
for trouble. And those are all variables that you have
no knowledge of how they're going to impact on the relationship.
So there's a lot of things to consider, and that's
why I think rule of thumbers just take time to
integrate and to assimilate.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Actually that it amazes me the number of times you
encounter loving parents who have separated who still it's like
they can't help themselves, but they use the kids as pawns.
And you wonder if they actually realize they're doing it,
but they make the Yeah, I don't know. Is it
quite common that you know that parents end up forgetting
(26:27):
that actually, whatever you do the kids, what is in
the children's best interests right now?
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah? Unfortunately, I have to say that I see a
lot of people and these are you know, they might
be really nice people, they might be people who are
a little damaged by that dissolution, divorce process, separation process.
But I yeah, on the daily, on the weekly, I
am very surprised, often overwhelmed at how much manipulation goes
(26:57):
on with regard to kids. The parents that do that
are not thinking about their children. They are thinking about themselves.
And that is not that's abdicating responsibility as a parent.
That's not parenting in my view.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Is it something that they do without realizing what they're doing,
Like if it's sort of dawned on them or was
presented to them, do you have you thought about and
they'd stop and go I hadn't really thought about that.
I was just so angry.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
So yeah, I think there are definitely people who are
driven by anger and frustration and grief. I mean that
when a relationship falls apart, there's a component of grief
associated with particularly if you've been with a person for
a long time, so associated with that dynamic. But you know,
(27:42):
parents are big kids, they're house so they are really
tasked with making decisions that are in the best interests
of their children and decrying the other person and you know,
not supporting really positive, good things to do with their
or even what I've noticed in some is that, you know,
(28:06):
if there is a lot of anger and angst and negativity,
one or other of the couple tries to cut the
relationship between the children and the other parent out. That's
just weird. The children are the progeny of those two people,
and if they are, then they you know, unless there
are very very good reasons not to see both parents.
(28:29):
Children should have relationships or be you know, should be
allowed to have relationships with both parents. There are a
lot of really good parents out there, good mums and
good dads who are not parenting together. But the children
should be able and the children should be able to
have relationships equally and not have the notion of family
(28:51):
completely decimated.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
What is the when you're thinking about the new boyfriend
or girlfriend? What is the I mean, there's no hard
and fast rules to these sens. No, you can never
draft hard and fast rules.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
But because we're all so different, and I guess.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
You say is it's about knowing your kids and having
a sense of how they're going to take some news.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
But in general, if you are concerned about if you're
just cautious about when you introduce that person, I mean,
how do you actually introduce that person and describe to
maybe I don't know whatever age. Teenagers are probably a
little they know a bit more about the facts of life,
I guess just for a while.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
Well, look, you know, we don't want to give teens
a bad rap, because I think teenagers are incredible. I've
had incredible teenagers. Absolutely, you know, not a whole heap
of problems that you wouldn't expect that when you know,
outside the realms of normality. So we don't want to
give them a bad rap. But certainly they are in
a position where they can make more informed decisions and
(29:49):
they have the the you know, the cerebral wherewithal to
make sense of what's going on. I would say, you know,
before you actually physically bring a person into the space
with your kids, and certainly I'm not talking about living together.
I'm talking about just introductions, you know, mention about the
dating process and about the fact that you know, and
(30:11):
then let them kind of mull that over, and then
mention about a person that is particularly nice and stand out,
and let them get comfortable with the notion of a
person who you know has has taken your fancy, and
then somewheres down the track you roll up and you say, hey, listen,
would you like to meet this person and just see
(30:32):
how that's received. But certainly, you know, not absolutely sticking
this stuff in people's faces is going to work, or
being confrontational with it, I guess I have.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Heard I have heard heard of stories as well, where
you know, the parents sort of taken a while and
they've and they've been a bit nervous about and the
kids have almost been the ones that been like, Mum,
more dad, goodness, we just want to see you. We
just want to see you happy sort of thing, and
actually you know that. I know it's not what we've
set for conversation, but decide issue on that is, you
(31:02):
know that. And I think entertainment feed into this because
we're often reading about the problems that kids are having
in teens. But actually my experiences has been just with
my girls as they grow up, and maybe you know,
I'm happy with the school that they're going to, and
everything is actually seeing that the role that the school
places with role models influencing and coaching and the girls
(31:24):
and things. And actually, you know what, young people, or
at least the young people I've come into, and you
get a range of behaviors as you do with all
human beings, right, but there are some awesome kids out there.
There are amazing role models, and I just look at that,
for instance, the women, the young women, the girls who
help coaching my daughter's netball and hockey teams. I just
(31:44):
think they're fantastic. They're just such great role models and
it's so important.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
I think sometimes particularly i've been talking to international clients.
I work with Australians and Americans, and you know, sometimes
when we sit in this little geographical corner of the world.
We can get a little bit inward, looking a little
bit insular, and sometimes that translates into a bit of
negativity and perhaps a deficit oriented approach to things where
(32:10):
we're looking for issues. You're quite right. I have also
encountered some amazing teenagers and great kids, and they just stella.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Actually, one of the pleasures I get when I watch
my daughter play hockey today. I love Saturday morning sport,
but I think one of the kicks that the other
parents get out of it as well is just seeing
the kids in a team environment with one of another
student who's a coach, and watching them how they're responding
to that, and it's just it's bloody fantastic.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
It fills the cup, it really does, and we need
to see more and do more of that kind of stuff.
No issues here in the Parents.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Squad, absolutely they win to nil. Fantastic player of the
day show off. Anyway, Hey, thanks so much, Sarah, nice
to see You'll look forward to next time. That is,
the Parents Squad will be back in just a moment.
Elliott Smith joins us from I think from Eden Park
of course is I think there's a game that won't
be going on tonight. We'll be back in just a moment.
(33:08):
It is about seventeen and a half minutes to six
on Newstalk's Hit B.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Then the Bull No, maybe see week bill.
Speaker 5 (33:19):
Lit then the hell.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Yeah, a little bit of Beatles there, Yes, that Raps
appearance squad. Actually, you can go and check out the
podcast on iHeartRadio. Look for the Weekend Collective And right
now it is. It's fourteen minutes to six new Stalks
hed B.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Good Weekend Collective Sports Raute.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yes, enjoining us to wrap sport. He is at Eden
Park getting ready for the big game. It's Elliott Smith.
Good afternoon, Elliott.
Speaker 8 (33:50):
Good a toim house.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Things not too bad now, look, let's just first things first.
I had a beverage on sport moment when I was
We were talking about the Warriors a few days ago,
and I thought, you know how they love to knock
off the really top rated guys from time to time
and surprise us. The problem is is when they play
the bottom of the table, they often in danger of
not going so well. And I predicted that they might lose,
(34:11):
which was ungenerous of me. But twenty four nil Titans Warriors,
what the hell?
Speaker 4 (34:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (34:16):
Twenty four nil down obviously on the back of that
lost to the Storm last week. But eih, the Titans,
fear to say, aren't creating too many waves this season,
right at the foot of the ladder, and somehow they've
struck gold against the Warriors excused the pun this afternoon
and are on fire against some twenty four nil up.
I suppose a cautionary tale for them. The Warriors are
(34:38):
up fourteen nil against the Storm last week and still
lost relatively comfortably, so there is hope if you're a
Warriors fan. But they have just missed so many tackles
this afternoon. It's just approaching half time, about thirty seconds out. Yeah,
twenty four nil down and I think they've mist twenty
seven tackles to about five. So the Titans have been
(34:58):
on form in this first half as they look to
break through again. In fact, I think they're going to
score another one. Just on the stroke of half time
they asked, it's going to be probably thirty zerl heading
into the halftime break. So things are not going well
for the Warriors. The Sun No.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
I actually you did have a little turn of phrase
there which I think sums up the optimism of the
Warriors supporters who have got to be some of the
best sports fans in the country. And you said, there
is hope if you're a Warriors fan, they should get
a T shirt made like that, because.
Speaker 8 (35:24):
Exactly, I mean, they had a whole marketing campaign around
the matter of fate. What was it about twenty years ago?
Speaker 4 (35:30):
You know?
Speaker 8 (35:30):
And then I suppose that the great thing about Warriors
fans isn't it the matter of faith and up the
wise whatever goes wrong with this team? And then there's
been a lot they still maintained that, you know, it's
going to be the year.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I guess why it's so exciting all the time. You
never know what's going to happen. Well, we don't know
what it's going to do. Yeah, we don't know what's
going to happen tonight. But you're there for the big game.
Now it's it's well earliest days, but the crowd will
be rolling in. It's sold out. Tell us about what's
the atmosphere like right now with a bit of quite
a bit of time to go before you call the game.
Speaker 8 (35:58):
Yeah, well, I was just down at ground level when
the gates opened, bang on five o'clock. I was at
one of the gates getting a coffee and the crowds
streamed in. There were plenty of fans waiting at the
gates waiting for it to be opened up at five o'clock.
And I tell you it's him that at that point
the Chiefs fans were outnumbering the Blues by a rick
in five to one that was streaming through the game.
So the Blues maybe they've stuck around the bars in Kingsland.
(36:21):
They know their way to the ground, they know how
to get here and how the attack them. But the
Chiefs fans have got it nice and early for this one.
But a lot have had to go back underneath the
concourse because we've had over the last forty five minutes.
Also since gates open, probably two or three showers that
have swept over the ground and another one at the moment. Look,
it's not heavy by any stretch of the imagination, but
(36:42):
it is enough to create some of an impact. And
I can see plenty of ponchos and jackets on around
the ground in front of me, some hardy fans sort
of sticking it out on the stands, but a lot
of sneaked up to the top of the concourse to
try and brave or avoid the rain for the time being,
just over an hour to kick off.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Well, yeah, the forecast I'm looking at it does look
like there's going to be a bit of moisture. Well,
I hadn't thought of that at all because it was
such a lovely morning.
Speaker 8 (37:06):
Well, Nathan Lyne's gonna be running touch for us tonight
on the Godswall coverage and he's got a rain jacket
ready to go. So there's going to be, yeah, perhaps
a few showers to contend with them, which will probably
suit the Blues in all honesty, Tim that they keep
it in tight. They have this year. You know, the
expansive Blues that we've thought of so long haven't really
been the case this year. They've kept it in tight.
(37:26):
They barged their way over the line. The Chiefs play expansively.
The weather could stop them from doing that.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Yeah, well, I mean the Blue success has been based
on sort of doing what the opposite of what we've
got to know them for, which is playing expansively with flair.
But their forward pack this year have been pretty blooming good, haven't.
Speaker 8 (37:45):
They They have? Year? Like so Offaton get fast, he's
been superb, but he's scored six tries this season. Patrick
toy Beloto, making him miraculous come back this week to
get the start at Locke and captain this team tonight.
You're supposed to be out for six to seven weeks
with a medial.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Wow and tier Yeah what was that? Was it actually
a tear or something else? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (38:06):
It's remarkable that he's come back so quickly. Look, you
hope he's not going to aggravate it further. I know
there was a bit of doubt in certain Chiefs fans
that he it was all a bit of a run.
He wasn't going to start. But we'll see the final kickoff.
The final teams are due for in about fifteen minutes
for kickoff, so we'll see if he's there at that
point ready to go for for tonight's game. But a
(38:27):
remarkable kickoff. But they have been built around that full
play this season and that's been the real strength of
their game. They lose Ford Trio, Hoskins Tudu. The Fords
have done the work for them this season. The backs
have been good, but I haven't had that expansive style
that they've played in recent times.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
What are the key matchups where's the game going to be?
I mean it's a cliche question, but seriously, where's it
going to be? One and lost? What's what's key for
each play?
Speaker 8 (38:50):
Well, it is the full back and both have got
remarkable strengths. You look at the loose Ford trio and Hoskins,
Tuto Dold and Papaletti, a kidd of Yuani for the Blues.
Wallace to Titi has been superb in the last couple
of weeks for the Chiefs. At the back of the
scrup Luke Jacobson there alongside him and Samma Penny Fena
can there loose Ford trio. So out of that Max
(39:12):
there's five players there. You can make a very good
argument to be in the All Black squad when that's
announced on Monday. The Lock's a good matchup as well.
I think the edge where the Blues have it probably
is in the front row off of tong a fast
he was he touched on their mars 'netta. The scrum's
been a weapon this year in terms of getting penalties
and getting them into the right areas, the parks that
could be crucial.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Well, look, I won't ask you to make too much
of a prediction. Given the job you've got to do
in the next a short little while. But who do
you think is going to win?
Speaker 4 (39:39):
Though?
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Don't worry about Marchins.
Speaker 8 (39:41):
I'm not gonna argue for a production.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
But I mean in terms of I was going to
say that I reckon the Blues are going to do
them by more than fourteen points.
Speaker 5 (39:48):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
But that's because I like to make bold predictions.
Speaker 8 (39:51):
That is a bold prediction. I think Blues by five tonight.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Tim excellent, Elliott, Well, have a great call. And by
the way, just quickly, did you get mobbed when you
go for a coffee at the ground. That's the great
Eliot Smith.
Speaker 8 (40:01):
We're not quite there, you know, no, not quite at
their point yet, but I'm sure it's come. It's coming.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Hey, have a great call. I'm sure that our listeners
are in great hands. Elliot Smith. Good luck, mate, and
thanks for your time. There we go Elliott Smith at
Eden Park. Back in just a moment. Yeah, back to
the week being collective. Hey, thanks for tuning in. Just
let you know what's happening tomorrow for the health aub
We're joined by the folk from Trenton Hearing talking about
all any question you have around looking after your hearing
(40:28):
and hearing solutions and a new guest as well from Concilium.
Are we going to joins us for excuse me for
smart money and of course Politics Central from three o'clock.
By the way, when I asked when I asked Elliott
for a prediction, I meant I wasn't going to ask
him for a big score prediction. But I did still
ask him for a prediction, so I realized I'd basically
contradict myself instantly and that one. Anyway, up next is
(40:52):
it's time for In My Day with Roman Travers. He's
going to talk about the stuff you've collected over the years.
What are the things that you well, hoarding could be
a word, but do you hang on to things on
the off chants and actually what have you got if
you were to go in a rummage in the back
of your closet, old letters and all sorts of things,
what have you kept or hoarded? That's an In My
Day next with Roman Travis. Thanks to my producer Joe Coughlin.
(41:12):
Enjoy your evening, go the Blues and we'll catch you
again tomorrow three o'clock Catch your son
Speaker 1 (41:24):
For more from the Weekend Collective listen live to news
Talk said Be weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio
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