August 30, 2025 • 34 mins
Parenting in the modern world comes with a slew of challenges - not just in terms of technology and social media, but the people who have influence over your children.
The majority of those born into Generation Z or earlier looked up to sports tars, actors, and the like. But today, it's whoever the public finds interesting enough to follow online.
Whether it's a good or a bad thing, raising children in a modern world seems to bring more problems than parents have experienced in the past few decades.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks
at BUD.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You know I ain't no fooling.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
I don't need no most schooling. I'm born to just ball.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
Line in all those time, all toes time.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Will you know why I'm when I send my watch
back to it in all those time and welcome back.
(00:51):
This is the Weekend Collective. I'm Tim Beverage. Or welcome
in if you have just joined us, Sister the Parents Squad.
My guest is Sarah chat when she's a psychologist. I've
lost my nights here for a second, but I know
you're a psychologist, s because we we we've had a
few times from time to time from mind Works, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Yeah, you want to time every now and again when
you want the voice of reason here. I am big.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Big claim, big claim for Sarah. Anyway, Hey, now we
are going to talk about we want your calls on
eighty And this is again a discussion that I was
having when we get ready for our show, looking forward
to the weekend, and we're having a chat about parenting
and the model were in the modern world, and I
(01:35):
was actually just shooting from the hip. Suddenly thought, you know, what.
I hate to play the generation game, but I actually
do suspect maybe I actually think as well. Not suspect
that sounds like a bit of a gutless sort of
a starts to have on things. But yeah, but chat
around the office, and I don't know. I just get
(01:56):
the feeling that parenting is harder for this generation, for
today's generations than it maybe was years ago because and
I haven't worked out why, because I haven't rationalized it.
Speaker 6 (02:09):
A hell of a lot, and perhaps try to today, Yes, we.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Could try to, but I just wonder you look back
when I mean, there were more homogeneous societies if you
go back another fifty or sixty years, rightly or wrongly,
generally there was one parent who would stay at home.
Let's not let's not beat around the bush. It was
usually mum. And there were fewer distractions in terms of technology,
(02:37):
and kids today have access to amazing education and knowledge
and all sorts of things. But I just have a
suspicion that parenting is harder today, and I want to know.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I'm not about that, But is it different?
Speaker 6 (02:53):
Is it more complex? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (02:54):
I mean I was reading or listening to the startling
thing you know about Generation X so that's people born
between is it sixty five and nineteen eighty and evidently
so that's you and I. We fall in that gang,
and arguably we are the last generation before complete social connectedness. Now,
(03:16):
I'm not going to go down the rabbit hole of
social media, even though I really don't like it and
I'd like.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
To, but it's inevitable that it is part of our discussion.
Speaker 7 (03:25):
Ya.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Well, that's right, because it's a major difference, and it's
a difference that we have allowed to creep and go relatively,
you know, it's just become the being on and end all.
I mean, it was interesting because I was I think
it was part of an Andrew Humeman podcast or something
like that. I mean, I think that he gives some
great tips and you know, some suggestions and some strategies
(03:49):
that are very helpful. But you know, they were saying
that when Generation X were bored and they went to
their parents and they said, hey, mom, I'm really bored,
the response was, hey, well listen, you know, go to
your room, read a book, go outside, have a play,
pat the dog, do some drawing artwork. You know. It
(04:11):
wasn't get in front of your device, it wasn't that
instant an immediate gratification. And also we had time to
figure things out. We had time on our own, We
had time to just be. We had time to rest, sleep,
drink some water, write some things down, figure some things out,
(04:32):
read some books. It is so different today because kids
never turn themselves off. If then, you know, if parents
aren't aware of it, this can just go on and on. So,
you know, parenting that and enforcing that is difficult. It's trickier,
it's more complex, but life is just more complex and
it's interesting, isn't it Looking at it from that perspective.
(04:53):
Generation X the last generation for social connectedness.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I actually, as you were explaining a few things there,
I almost wanted to modify the question is is parenting
more complex today? Actually, look, I'm not gonna be around
the bush it is. I think it is more complex today,
But that doesn't mean it sounds like that's an excuse
for making bad choices as a parent. Because the other
side of it that we could ask is do modern
(05:19):
parents make it harder for themselves because their lives. You know,
we're tied up with social media and we're tied up
with instant connectedness and all sorts of things. Technology. I mean,
technology is supposed to be this amazing tool, and yet
I do think it also makes life a lot more complex.
It gives us many more choices, it gives us many
(05:40):
more distractions.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
I think it is and can be a really great tool,
a really great source of information, of education. But I
also think there's a dark side to it. And I
think we've all seen stories and heard about that. If
not experienced it, I will I'll pull you up on
one thing, though I don't think I know absolutely sinister
(06:02):
you watch out, Tom. I do think there are a
lot of parents today who are very values driven, some
of the old old school values. You know where you did,
you know, play sports with your children and you had
the backyard cracket and you tried to spend quality time
without devices. I mean, I've been having numerous conversations with
(06:22):
a friend and we don't call her an influencer because
neither of.
Speaker 6 (06:27):
Us like that.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
That the whole thing. But Caro Taylor from what now?
Do you remember Caro from what now?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
She's a lot of what are we talking? Would I
remember her as a child or.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
You would not have been a child, but you would
have been a young person and Caro had her first
childhood only child, Jasper at I think forty or maybe
late thirties, so she is a relatively new mum. She
is not. He's four, and we've been talking about, you know,
bringing up a child today. And I mean people like Caro,
(07:05):
like me, although you know I had my first child
when I was in my early twenties. You know, we
made choices to keep those values going, to not allow
our children to always be distracted, to allow them to
stand in their own space and sometimes be bored and
sometimes be a little lonely, and sometimes have to read
(07:27):
books and play outside on their own, to self regulate,
to self satisfy. And I think there are a lot
of parents out there who are doing a really good
job of instilling those really good values into their kids.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I think the reason I also asked the question do
we make it harder for ourselves as parents are because
I think modern living and life means both parents can
often work unless you've got one half he's pulling in
so much money that money is not an object, so
you both need and as a result, there's this trickle
down effect of mum or dad feeling I'm busy with work,
(08:03):
I need to and I need to make more of
an effort to do that. They end up sort of
trying too hard, or they end up trying to make
up in ways overcompensate, overcompensating in terms of simple questions
of discipline and indulgence and all that sort of thing. Sorry,
I must got lost in my thoughts. Thanks for bringing
me back on track there. But but I think there
(08:26):
is something to that that we It's a bit of
both that. I think it is more complex because of
the modern technological world we live in, but also I
think but we also make it hard for ourselves as
parents sometimes because we're trying to make up for maybe
the absence of time we have other kids in those
ways indulge.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
In well, I mean, that's one thing. That's one thing
in terms of parents who you know, work a lot,
put in a lot of hours at work and potentially
enjoy their work so that they feel that when they
come home to their children they really have to make
up and compensate. So that's one thing. But I do
think also parents need to stop and understand that children
(09:04):
are are fairly simple beings up to a certain age.
In that certain ages when they're heading more towards adulthood.
Children need love, they need commitment, they need understanding, they
need guidance. There's a whole lot of very simple organic
needs that children have. They don't need gifts all the time,
(09:24):
they don't need money thrown at them, they don't need
a lot of stuff. And I think sometimes parents get
lost in that, perhaps keeping up with the joneses mentality
or giving stuff instead of giving of themselves to their children.
And that can be a mistake that we all fall into,
for reasons of guilt, for reasons of time, you know,
(09:47):
for a lot of reasons that we can we can
work through.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Yeah, I mean, yeah, we'd love your thoughts on this.
And I look, I know these questions can often be
a bit inflammatory because people think it's a battle of
the generations, but it's every generation has different challenges. And
of course, look if you're parenting, if you're a parent
and you have to send your kids off somewhere, I
mean to think of what happened in World War Two
(10:11):
when all the kids got sent out of London to
live remotely, and I mean some people lost track of
their siblings, all sorts. Every generation has had some really
tough challenges and I guess maybe we have to put
wartime aside because there are extreme times where you know,
if you're talking about it. In fact, I think I've
got a text here that says I must well read
this one that says, I don't believe what I'm hearing.
(10:33):
Do you not think it was Do you not think
it was not complex? Hang on? Do you not think
it was not complex?
Speaker 4 (10:39):
A lot?
Speaker 8 (10:39):
Do you?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
I think there's an extra knot in there. I think
let's get rid of one of the knights. Do you
think it was not complex? In nineteen fifteen, explaining to
a child about a relative going to war different, yes,
easier or harder? No, you see, I think that blurs it.
I think in generally we can we have to step
aside from World War One and World War two, yes,
(11:01):
and look at just when people are living lives outside
of wartime.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Because also in response to that, if you remember your
great grandparents and great grandparents, as I kind of remember
some of mine, they were values driven, beautiful people. So
the war didn't affect that. Of course, it was a
time of hardship, but it was also a time of
social face to face connection and really good family values
(11:29):
and people, you know, loving each other and worrying about
each other, and of course being terrified and fearful of
what was going on in the world around them because
of war. But it wasn't a time like today when
children are becoming very insular. I mean, it has been
(11:50):
said that at the moment we're experience experiencing a crisis
of presence when our children are never by themselves, because
it doesn't matter that they haven't got people around them, the.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
Right people, good people.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
They've got their phone or a device or something that
they can refer to at any time that they go
to sleep with that they wake up to. And there
is a crisis of our children being able to actually
handle being alone, being bored, figuring things out, doing things
that are simple as opposed to just passively looking, and
(12:26):
also being influenced by people who shouldn't necessarily have influence
over young minds or any minds.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
So we'd love your cause on this eight hundred and
eighty ten and eighty in text on nineteen ninety, we'd
love your calls. Is parenting more complex these days or
or not? Just like that, I was trying to think
of a way of fleshing it out, But really that
is the simple question, do you think parenting is more
complex today or not? I mean we I think we
(12:57):
do need to set aside times when the world has
gone to war, and I think those are extraordinary times
and none of us would want to have lived through
World will wont World War two. But those sorts of things.
But if you go back, let's look at the fifties
and sixties. I mean, and especially it's probably more relevant
to look at the fifties and sixties because there are
people from that generation, parents from fifty sixties seventies listening.
(13:19):
Then you might think, actually, yeah, I look at my
kids now and they're trying to be mums and dads
and it is a lot harder for them. Back in
my day, things were a lot simpler. We didn't have
social media, we didn't have as many single parent families.
Perhaps cost of living pressures. Oh gee, I tell you what.
There's there's so many angles to it. But let's not
(13:39):
make it a battle of the generations. Just what do
you think would you rather be a parent back in
the fifties, sixties and seventies or now? Ooh, tough question,
because I don't know the answer to that myself. I wait,
one hundred eighty ten eighty text nine two nine two,
twenty one past five News Talks, dB News Talks. He'd
be with Tim Beverage eight hundred eight and eighty. I
(14:00):
was just teving an argument with my producer about whose
idea this was to discuss this topic, because I think
it's quite a good one. Clearly it was my Yeah,
what Sarah Chatwan is having her say as well, that
it's what we get run for. Andy, Hello, you.
Speaker 6 (14:13):
Know how you doing very well?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I probably think it is a lot harder these days
now to be a parent, because say, forty years ago,
there was no such thing as social media, and so
when you got bullied at school, it stayed at school,
and if you're unlucky.
Speaker 8 (14:31):
You got it.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
You got poll on the online and you can just
pick up the phone and leave it and engage. That
was an ultimate way. But now with social media, it's
worth you twenty four seven.
Speaker 6 (14:42):
Absolutely totally. I totally agree with you.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
And it is tough when you have that amount of
abuse from anybody, keyboard worries, anybody, anybody can pick up
on it, and you have it coming from every angle.
So I do agree with you.
Speaker 6 (14:55):
It's tough.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I mean I'm on an expectant first time parent, and
I've got friends who have all gotten through and the
teens now, and they're telling me what and I'm worried.
I'm scared.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Actually can get Can I offer your application? Andy? I
think be excited about being a dad. It's amazing. But
the other thing is, well, I think it's a challenge
for parents. I think actually, I look at my kids
and I was having a chat even on our panel
about some of the great things that I see my
(15:29):
kids getting up to at school and the different challenges.
I think that today's kids are going to be pretty amazing,
and I think they will. I think they'll cope with
social media better than we do.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Well. I think Andy sounds like a really cool parents.
You should be excited, Andy, don't let anybody take that
away from you. And also, you're level headed, and it's
quite good to be a little bit fearful about what's
happening because it means that you can focus on the
things that make you, that worry you, and you can
deal with them. You can have a bit of a plan.
You can achieve anything in life team with a plan.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Actually, Andy, by the way, you're also exhibiting something that
every parent of every generation has always felt, as you're
about to be a doubt and you're hoping it's going
to turn out all right, So it's quite normal. I reckon,
how long? How long togo?
Speaker 5 (16:20):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Ages, hell, you've only just sort of found out nice, it's.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Been a long in a long journey coming.
Speaker 6 (16:30):
Good stuff, mate, cool, best wishes.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
The reason I mentioned that as well, it is nice
to remember those that that optimistic time when you're bap
to a new parents and oh my goodness and all
that sort of stuff. Of course, Tyra, my producer has
got a young How old is Arthur now? I think
he's about too. She's just got married, as I tell
people every week, just because it's fun to remind everyone
about the beautiful bride. Let's carry on, though, shall we say?
(16:56):
Are we okay?
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Brian?
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Hello, Bryan? You sound like you're surfing.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Where you go?
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Sort of yeah? Where you go?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Sorry? Fifty like.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Brace?
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Oh tell you what, Ryan, I'm going to put you
back to my producer. You've just lost reception there, and
I'm sure that you'll come back into into zone. So
just stick around and and we'll get you back on
the line. In just a moment, we'll say hello to Liz.
Liz today, I.
Speaker 9 (17:37):
Haven't been in the education area because I'm a music
specialist in preschool normal. My take on it is that
in my day, we're married and we were quite selfish,
and that we didn't know that we had to have
(18:01):
all these rules, so we just gathered the kids up
with the bush and laughed and played and sounds lovely, honest,
how wonderful experiences. We're both young, and my take on
it is that we had to when we didn't need
(18:22):
to focus and appearance today above you absolutely studied the
barbers because they practically give themselves up to raise their children,
where we just actually loved them to pieces and they
all came out because are you saying you.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Didn't think about things so much? You just got on
with things and your kids just happened to be there.
Speaker 9 (18:49):
Not quite that way.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
We love them provocatives and that.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
But I guess actually one thing you mentioned, though, Liz,
is and maybe this is part of it. You had.
I think people in decades gone by had children a
lot earlier, and I think that complicates things in a
way for older parents.
Speaker 9 (19:11):
Well, the thing is having been in the area of
dealing with them. We didn't have to put so much
to the parents today.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
But I think wonders what's coming becoming clear to me.
There were there were less options. Life was more simple.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I think that there fewer choices. Perhaps actually it's nice
to hear a person from a different generation.
Speaker 9 (19:39):
It was just I don't think there were truer choices.
I think we were very astute. We had good background
from our parents, and we we made a point of
giving them everything that they were going to do. But
(20:00):
in terms of coming out the other side, and they
all came out the other aside as adults through a
calm and less anxious time because nothing was anxious for them.
They they didn't have a lot to be anxious. They
(20:21):
had loved But that.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
Is fewer choices.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Kids didn't have the social media, they didn't have the
constant input.
Speaker 6 (20:27):
They were able to.
Speaker 5 (20:28):
Play and go outside and enjoy green space and enjoy
the love of their families.
Speaker 9 (20:34):
I don't totally agree. I have to challenge you because
the matters there weren't. There was petier things I lived.
I could have had many choices of not respanting to
raise my children, I putting them in somewhere to be
looked after. I didn't put it around, and I was
(20:57):
still mindful it out for them to play. Yeah, and
they I mean I could only talk talk for the
generation that I brought my children up and and I
look at them all and they are very rounded, well
achieving out Yeah. Yeah, well I teach them today and
(21:23):
personally I'm just an occupation. I get upset for the
parents because it's just such a full on task for them.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
I know.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Yeah, Hey, thanks for your call, Thanks for your callers.
Really appreciate you, that your perspective on things. There actually
just a couple of texts before you get back to
the course because lots of callers. They're easy back then,
hands down, only Dad worked and enough for the whole
family's needs, plus enough with mum's help to get a
deposit for ninety ninety year old do up six six kids,
(21:58):
not the one and a half kids today, poor buggers.
That's from Bob regular correspondent, and another person says, you've
made it a battle of the generations. I think you've
made a mistake in the way you framed this discussion.
Speaker 6 (22:08):
No, we didn't make it a battle of generation.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Don't want it to be a better of the generations.
But anyway, this person says, my mum and dad would
have faced their own is shoes in the sixties, and
how can you reframe the discussion? Are okay? Look, I
think we did reframe the discussion, but we need that one.
Maybe that text was sent before I actually said I
don't want to make it about a better of generations anyway, Ryan, Hello,
I am back with you guys.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
Yes, we've got you again.
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Yeah, I'm a father of Third Studio and I know
I think it's not hard, but people can make it
harder than the messy.
Speaker 5 (22:50):
Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 7 (22:53):
And she said everything for me single mother, My parents
wor when I was around, but my father still loves
us and he raised us follows.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
So I had.
Speaker 7 (23:03):
Two loving parents, which a big thing, and I think
I'll just give.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
It back to my kids.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Well that's lovely, but I mean it sounds like you
had two parents who were involved and you've said they
both gave you love. They were both their few irrespective
of being in different houses.
Speaker 6 (23:22):
So you know, there you go.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
That's a little bit of the traditional old school values
right there, and something that's going to now be transmitted
to Ryan's kids or to your kids, Ryan, So that's great.
Speaker 7 (23:35):
Yeah, so I know, like I'm just driving home from work.
I spend a lot of time at work, but then
I do try and spend a lot of time my
kids as well.
Speaker 6 (23:43):
It's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Yeah. Is it hard? Do you have to make a
special effort to do that and change the way you're
working in things? Or is lucky enough that you can
do that pretty easily.
Speaker 7 (23:57):
I would just sacrifice my own time, like the time
that I can have of them in the morning, whether
I wake up at five o'clock and make their breakfast
and then it's done for them. They know that, and
then I'll get home and breakfast even though it's in there.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Actually, I think that's the point. Actually is some sometimes
parents have to put down their bloody phones.
Speaker 5 (24:22):
Yeah. Yeah, But I also think that Ryan speaks to
a parent who is mindful of his children's needs. And again,
you have a plan, you have a pathway with your kids.
You keep the pathway of communication open with your children.
It sounds like that Ryan had a couple of good
role models in his you know, with his parents, and
he can go on to be one himself.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Good stuff, right, matey. Thanks for cool. Appreciate it, Ryan, Right,
let's actually what have we got here? I was just
gonna I'll just read it, try and mix up a
few texts before with the cause as well. One another
one person says it's far more complex, not harder, just different.
(25:02):
There are no natural resets always on, and families struggle
to create space because it used to be done for us.
For example, most things were shut on Sunday, there was
no internet, there's no shopping on after ours. Nine tech
families would rest, reset and go again on Monday. Now
we roll through and wonder why so many are cooked?
Speaker 6 (25:21):
Actually that do you mean cooked as in tired? Anxiou?
Speaker 5 (25:24):
Yeah, bugget okay, Yeah, I get that. Yeah, that's probably
the perspective that I have. I'm not sure that parenting
nowadays is super difficult. It is different and there are
different things that come into play.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
And when I was growing up, that's right, the shops
used to shut at five or five o'clock and it
was Friday night, late night shopping, no Saturday shopping, no
Sunday shopping. That does simplify a few things, doesn't it.
Speaker 5 (25:50):
Well, it means that there's a natural reset. As that
texture is pointing out and it means that people learn
to self regulate and they can sleep and they can read.
But I mean, you know, the connect world is profoundly different,
and the world that kids grow up and now will
(26:12):
change the trajectory of what people look like, what they behave.
Speaker 6 (26:16):
Like I mean, it's it's all going to be very different.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Hey, we're going to take a quick break back callers.
Stick around with Birk and just to tick. We're just
talking about it's parenting harder these days? I guess we're
putting it eight hundred eighty and eighties twenty four minutes
to six.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
You don't have.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Shud YT's welcome back to the Parents Squad of the
week and collect on. My guest is Sarah Chatwah. And
we're talking about is parenting harder these days because of
the distractions of modern life, nod living, technology, all that
sort of thing. Is it actually harder? And I don't
mean it as a generation a bat. It all just
is all complex set.
Speaker 6 (26:57):
Don't we It's not a generational battle.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Is a disclaimer bridget Hello.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Hey, how's it go? And go hie? Really interesting chats
can sort of agree with a lot of them. I
think as you bring it down. It's not necessarily harder,
it's different, and I think a lot of it, as
you said, stems from the value. So I'm thirty five,
(27:23):
I've got a three year old boy. Even just as
a parent, you know, you're so we do we see
all across social media, You've got influences telling you how
to raise your baby, what's good for the baby. So
you're already getting, you know, all the information that like
my mum never had, you know, they had the Plunket book.
(27:45):
And whereas we're being told constantly what's right and what's wrong.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
And who are these people anyway, with the experiences come from?
Because when I mean, I am bridget As you know,
I am not a fan of social media and certainly
influences something that I have tried to.
Speaker 6 (28:04):
Yeah, shy away for most of my life. Influence doesn't
interest me.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
So I always look at this stuff and I think, oh, boy,
I hope these young mothers just like you actually reach
out to health professionals GPS, that I love psychologists, that
they trust people that actually know and have learned and
come from a place of intellectual rigors so that they
are able to disseminate this information.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
Because boy, there's a lot out there, right there is.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
And as a new mum, if this is the information
you're seeing, it's so easy to feel like you're doing
a ship job. Sorry, you're doing a bad job.
Speaker 6 (28:38):
It breaks my heart.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
No, will you sound like you're not because you sound
very level and very grounded and parenting.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
Yeah, it's a hard gig, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
And I think as well for being thirty five, Like,
I mean, so I was a quatic nineties baby. So
you know we've lived. I mean, I love the nineties
from what I can remember of it. We've seen the
benefits pre social media, but we've also seen what's happened
to the generation below us who have been raised on it. Yes,
so again going back to those values, like we made
(29:11):
a decision, you know, my son will never have Like
if we're out at a park, nobody's on a phone
in front of it, Like he certainly isn't on the phone.
And it is hard because you've got a lot of
people going it is what it is, it's their future.
There is pushback, you know, there's so many groups.
Speaker 6 (29:30):
We have a choice.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
We're able to actually can convey some of those values
that our parents instilled into us. That's lovely and that's
what we love about our memories and about the nostalgic
days that we were brought up in.
Speaker 6 (29:41):
I mean you sound really onto it.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
Go you oh, thank you like which we try. And
it's like there is that pushback. Now. You know, there's
a thing over in the States called Wait until eighth,
which is about keeping social media and phones off of
kids until they hit about fourteen. Yes, and you know
there's even a community bringing back landlines, you know, just
(30:05):
the foster that connection without the digital precise. So, yes,
it's about choice. And it's like my mum always said,
it's never everyone.
Speaker 6 (30:16):
No, you know, that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
You do have that choice.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
Yeah, and we also have the choice to remember those
values because WHI whilst I actually call them old school, hey,
they're not really honest and loyalty, kindness, concern, consideration, good manners.
I mean, these these are things that should Yeah, they
should never have gone, and I hope they haven't. I mean,
(30:39):
you know, I raised my kids with all of them.
You're doing a good job with your child hate. You know,
sometimes it's not the influences, it's not the loudest voice
or the voice of popularity that succeeds. It's the voice
that keeps speaking intelligently and reminding people that listening for
a moment can create a positive change for lifetime.
Speaker 6 (30:57):
So that's what I'm about.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
I think Actually, with the technology, I mean, you still
will have some challenges ahead from of you, absolutely, but
I have I mean, my kid's pretty good with the phones,
but I think they're much better at dealing with their
peer groups and contact with them. We don't have tiktoking
like that. But does I know I'm thinking that the
younger generations are handling it better than maybe.
Speaker 6 (31:20):
But are they?
Speaker 5 (31:21):
There are huge escalating rates of anxiety, teen suicide.
Speaker 6 (31:25):
Are they really handling it?
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Maybe?
Speaker 6 (31:27):
Are these influences contributing to that?
Speaker 5 (31:29):
I mean, this is something that we have not looked
into enough, and I just don't think we ever will
because it's it's growing at such a rate that we
have no control except you know. But when you are
a parent like you, Bridget, you're doing a great job
and you're mindful of it. And these conversations, Tim, thank
you so much for having them with people, because they
make us all mindful that we need to keep looking,
(31:52):
we need to stay engaged with our children. Because that's
and that's because we love them.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Okay, we'll take time to square. Thank you so much
for your call. Bridget got times one more quickly, Peter Geta.
Speaker 8 (32:05):
I think it is generational. I think guilt is a
thing that sets into a lot of parents. Back in
my day, I was laid home from work and I
was there for kids to bed with dinner, whatever, I
try and make up with with for it the next day.
And that's guilt. And I think today these modern parents
have got so much on their plate. They've got huge mortgages,
(32:29):
are both working, they've got kids and after school care
and and they I think a lot of it is
making up for what they can't deliver. And and that
kind of goes back to it's a very basic thing.
But it's like in my generation we've gone from outside
long drop toilets. Now our kids my house doesn't have
(32:51):
three bathrooms.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Nostalgia for the long drop toilet.
Speaker 8 (32:57):
Peter, but that, yeah, watch spiders, but that But that's
just one of the things that that has happened. And
with progress and and and kids won't go like we
didn't have a Washington team, we didn't have any of
those things. But that that's you can't blame. You can't
blame that, that's just progress. But I think I think
there's a there's a guilt factor in there. I mean,
(33:18):
my grand kids they get everything pretty much. I mean,
my my children want my daughter in law and my son.
They try and make up in many ways, like like
we wouldn't even know what avocado was back and how
they but they have advocado on toast. Now, I mean
I know that that's a yeah, but I know that's
(33:38):
only a basic thing. But that's where it's progressed to.
So so you think steen out there so they think
they want it all, and I think that the parents
do try and rightly so right so, I just I
couldn't live with myself away these parents are how hard
they work and what they have to put up with,
and they must feel terrible about some of the things.
The time that that don't spend with their children.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Yeah, well I think that that's I think that's thank you, Peter,
thank you so much for that. And I think you know,
that's why it's good to have these conversations because it
and as I said that it doesn't want to make
generational battles about things. But I think every generation can
learn something about what's been before and reflections on what
you know, what were the good things about the previous
generations right and bring.
Speaker 6 (34:20):
It forward or you know whatever.
Speaker 5 (34:22):
But that's I just think it is also key that
people try not to feel guilt. Rather than feel guilt,
spend some time up close and personal with your kids
and give them the love that they deserve.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Got time flies. Thanks so much, Sarah, lovely to see
you usure.
Speaker 5 (34:37):
I'm always a pleasure never at.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Are mindworks dot co dot n z. If you want
to catch up with Sarah, chatwe and we'll be back
to wrap sport with Christopher Reeve. Superman is with us
right after the break, It's twelve minutes to Sick.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen live to News
Talk z B weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks
at BUD.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You know I ain't no fooling.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
I don't need no most schooling. I'm born to just ball.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
Line in all those time, all toes time.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Will you know why I'm when I send my watch
back to it in all those time and welcome back.
(00:51):
This is the Weekend Collective. I'm Tim Beverage. Or welcome
in if you have just joined us, Sister the Parents Squad.
My guest is Sarah chat when she's a psychologist. I've
lost my nights here for a second, but I know
you're a psychologist, s because we we we've had a
few times from time to time from mind Works, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Yeah, you want to time every now and again when
you want the voice of reason here. I am big.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Big claim, big claim for Sarah. Anyway, Hey, now we
are going to talk about we want your calls on
eighty And this is again a discussion that I was
having when we get ready for our show, looking forward
to the weekend, and we're having a chat about parenting
and the model were in the modern world, and I
(01:35):
was actually just shooting from the hip. Suddenly thought, you know, what.
I hate to play the generation game, but I actually
do suspect maybe I actually think as well. Not suspect
that sounds like a bit of a gutless sort of
a starts to have on things. But yeah, but chat
around the office, and I don't know. I just get
(01:56):
the feeling that parenting is harder for this generation, for
today's generations than it maybe was years ago because and
I haven't worked out why, because I haven't rationalized it.
Speaker 6 (02:09):
A hell of a lot, and perhaps try to today, Yes, we.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Could try to, but I just wonder you look back
when I mean, there were more homogeneous societies if you
go back another fifty or sixty years, rightly or wrongly,
generally there was one parent who would stay at home.
Let's not let's not beat around the bush. It was
usually mum. And there were fewer distractions in terms of technology,
(02:37):
and kids today have access to amazing education and knowledge
and all sorts of things. But I just have a
suspicion that parenting is harder today, and I want to know.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I'm not about that, But is it different?
Speaker 6 (02:53):
Is it more complex? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (02:54):
I mean I was reading or listening to the startling
thing you know about Generation X so that's people born
between is it sixty five and nineteen eighty and evidently
so that's you and I. We fall in that gang,
and arguably we are the last generation before complete social connectedness. Now,
(03:16):
I'm not going to go down the rabbit hole of
social media, even though I really don't like it and
I'd like.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
To, but it's inevitable that it is part of our discussion.
Speaker 7 (03:25):
Ya.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Well, that's right, because it's a major difference, and it's
a difference that we have allowed to creep and go relatively,
you know, it's just become the being on and end all.
I mean, it was interesting because I was I think
it was part of an Andrew Humeman podcast or something
like that. I mean, I think that he gives some
great tips and you know, some suggestions and some strategies
(03:49):
that are very helpful. But you know, they were saying
that when Generation X were bored and they went to
their parents and they said, hey, mom, I'm really bored,
the response was, hey, well listen, you know, go to
your room, read a book, go outside, have a play,
pat the dog, do some drawing artwork. You know. It
(04:11):
wasn't get in front of your device, it wasn't that
instant an immediate gratification. And also we had time to
figure things out. We had time on our own, We
had time to just be. We had time to rest, sleep,
drink some water, write some things down, figure some things out,
(04:32):
read some books. It is so different today because kids
never turn themselves off. If then, you know, if parents
aren't aware of it, this can just go on and on. So,
you know, parenting that and enforcing that is difficult. It's trickier,
it's more complex, but life is just more complex and
it's interesting, isn't it Looking at it from that perspective.
(04:53):
Generation X the last generation for social connectedness.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I actually, as you were explaining a few things there,
I almost wanted to modify the question is is parenting
more complex today? Actually, look, I'm not gonna be around
the bush it is. I think it is more complex today,
But that doesn't mean it sounds like that's an excuse
for making bad choices as a parent. Because the other
side of it that we could ask is do modern
(05:19):
parents make it harder for themselves because their lives. You know,
we're tied up with social media and we're tied up
with instant connectedness and all sorts of things. Technology. I mean,
technology is supposed to be this amazing tool, and yet
I do think it also makes life a lot more complex.
It gives us many more choices, it gives us many
(05:40):
more distractions.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
I think it is and can be a really great tool,
a really great source of information, of education. But I
also think there's a dark side to it. And I
think we've all seen stories and heard about that. If
not experienced it, I will I'll pull you up on
one thing, though I don't think I know absolutely sinister
(06:02):
you watch out, Tom. I do think there are a
lot of parents today who are very values driven, some
of the old old school values. You know where you did,
you know, play sports with your children and you had
the backyard cracket and you tried to spend quality time
without devices. I mean, I've been having numerous conversations with
(06:22):
a friend and we don't call her an influencer because
neither of.
Speaker 6 (06:27):
Us like that.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
That the whole thing. But Caro Taylor from what now?
Do you remember Caro from what now?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
She's a lot of what are we talking? Would I
remember her as a child or.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
You would not have been a child, but you would
have been a young person and Caro had her first
childhood only child, Jasper at I think forty or maybe
late thirties, so she is a relatively new mum. She
is not. He's four, and we've been talking about, you know,
bringing up a child today. And I mean people like Caro,
(07:05):
like me, although you know I had my first child
when I was in my early twenties. You know, we
made choices to keep those values going, to not allow
our children to always be distracted, to allow them to
stand in their own space and sometimes be bored and
sometimes be a little lonely, and sometimes have to read
(07:27):
books and play outside on their own, to self regulate,
to self satisfy. And I think there are a lot
of parents out there who are doing a really good
job of instilling those really good values into their kids.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I think the reason I also asked the question do
we make it harder for ourselves as parents are because
I think modern living and life means both parents can
often work unless you've got one half he's pulling in
so much money that money is not an object, so
you both need and as a result, there's this trickle
down effect of mum or dad feeling I'm busy with work,
(08:03):
I need to and I need to make more of
an effort to do that. They end up sort of
trying too hard, or they end up trying to make
up in ways overcompensate, overcompensating in terms of simple questions
of discipline and indulgence and all that sort of thing. Sorry,
I must got lost in my thoughts. Thanks for bringing
me back on track there. But but I think there
(08:26):
is something to that that we It's a bit of
both that. I think it is more complex because of
the modern technological world we live in, but also I
think but we also make it hard for ourselves as
parents sometimes because we're trying to make up for maybe
the absence of time we have other kids in those
ways indulge.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
In well, I mean, that's one thing. That's one thing
in terms of parents who you know, work a lot,
put in a lot of hours at work and potentially
enjoy their work so that they feel that when they
come home to their children they really have to make
up and compensate. So that's one thing. But I do
think also parents need to stop and understand that children
(09:04):
are are fairly simple beings up to a certain age.
In that certain ages when they're heading more towards adulthood.
Children need love, they need commitment, they need understanding, they
need guidance. There's a whole lot of very simple organic
needs that children have. They don't need gifts all the time,
(09:24):
they don't need money thrown at them, they don't need
a lot of stuff. And I think sometimes parents get
lost in that, perhaps keeping up with the joneses mentality
or giving stuff instead of giving of themselves to their children.
And that can be a mistake that we all fall into,
for reasons of guilt, for reasons of time, you know,
(09:47):
for a lot of reasons that we can we can
work through.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Yeah, I mean, yeah, we'd love your thoughts on this.
And I look, I know these questions can often be
a bit inflammatory because people think it's a battle of
the generations, but it's every generation has different challenges. And
of course, look if you're parenting, if you're a parent
and you have to send your kids off somewhere, I
mean to think of what happened in World War Two
(10:11):
when all the kids got sent out of London to
live remotely, and I mean some people lost track of
their siblings, all sorts. Every generation has had some really
tough challenges and I guess maybe we have to put
wartime aside because there are extreme times where you know,
if you're talking about it. In fact, I think I've
got a text here that says I must well read
this one that says, I don't believe what I'm hearing.
(10:33):
Do you not think it was Do you not think
it was not complex? Hang on? Do you not think
it was not complex?
Speaker 4 (10:39):
A lot?
Speaker 8 (10:39):
Do you?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
I think there's an extra knot in there. I think
let's get rid of one of the knights. Do you
think it was not complex? In nineteen fifteen, explaining to
a child about a relative going to war different, yes,
easier or harder? No, you see, I think that blurs it.
I think in generally we can we have to step
aside from World War One and World War two, yes,
(11:01):
and look at just when people are living lives outside
of wartime.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Because also in response to that, if you remember your
great grandparents and great grandparents, as I kind of remember
some of mine, they were values driven, beautiful people. So
the war didn't affect that. Of course, it was a
time of hardship, but it was also a time of
social face to face connection and really good family values
(11:29):
and people, you know, loving each other and worrying about
each other, and of course being terrified and fearful of
what was going on in the world around them because
of war. But it wasn't a time like today when
children are becoming very insular. I mean, it has been
(11:50):
said that at the moment we're experience experiencing a crisis
of presence when our children are never by themselves, because
it doesn't matter that they haven't got people around them, the.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
Right people, good people.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
They've got their phone or a device or something that
they can refer to at any time that they go
to sleep with that they wake up to. And there
is a crisis of our children being able to actually
handle being alone, being bored, figuring things out, doing things
that are simple as opposed to just passively looking, and
(12:26):
also being influenced by people who shouldn't necessarily have influence
over young minds or any minds.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
So we'd love your cause on this eight hundred and
eighty ten and eighty in text on nineteen ninety, we'd
love your calls. Is parenting more complex these days or
or not? Just like that, I was trying to think
of a way of fleshing it out, But really that
is the simple question, do you think parenting is more
complex today or not? I mean we I think we
(12:57):
do need to set aside times when the world has
gone to war, and I think those are extraordinary times
and none of us would want to have lived through
World will wont World War two. But those sorts of things.
But if you go back, let's look at the fifties
and sixties. I mean, and especially it's probably more relevant
to look at the fifties and sixties because there are
people from that generation, parents from fifty sixties seventies listening.
(13:19):
Then you might think, actually, yeah, I look at my
kids now and they're trying to be mums and dads
and it is a lot harder for them. Back in
my day, things were a lot simpler. We didn't have
social media, we didn't have as many single parent families.
Perhaps cost of living pressures. Oh gee, I tell you what.
There's there's so many angles to it. But let's not
(13:39):
make it a battle of the generations. Just what do
you think would you rather be a parent back in
the fifties, sixties and seventies or now? Ooh, tough question,
because I don't know the answer to that myself. I wait,
one hundred eighty ten eighty text nine two nine two,
twenty one past five News Talks, dB News Talks. He'd
be with Tim Beverage eight hundred eight and eighty. I
(14:00):
was just teving an argument with my producer about whose
idea this was to discuss this topic, because I think
it's quite a good one. Clearly it was my Yeah,
what Sarah Chatwan is having her say as well, that
it's what we get run for. Andy, Hello, you.
Speaker 6 (14:13):
Know how you doing very well?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I probably think it is a lot harder these days
now to be a parent, because say, forty years ago,
there was no such thing as social media, and so
when you got bullied at school, it stayed at school,
and if you're unlucky.
Speaker 8 (14:31):
You got it.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
You got poll on the online and you can just
pick up the phone and leave it and engage. That
was an ultimate way. But now with social media, it's
worth you twenty four seven.
Speaker 6 (14:42):
Absolutely totally. I totally agree with you.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
And it is tough when you have that amount of
abuse from anybody, keyboard worries, anybody, anybody can pick up
on it, and you have it coming from every angle.
So I do agree with you.
Speaker 6 (14:55):
It's tough.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I mean I'm on an expectant first time parent, and
I've got friends who have all gotten through and the
teens now, and they're telling me what and I'm worried.
I'm scared.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Actually can get Can I offer your application? Andy? I
think be excited about being a dad. It's amazing. But
the other thing is, well, I think it's a challenge
for parents. I think actually, I look at my kids
and I was having a chat even on our panel
about some of the great things that I see my
(15:29):
kids getting up to at school and the different challenges.
I think that today's kids are going to be pretty amazing,
and I think they will. I think they'll cope with
social media better than we do.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Well. I think Andy sounds like a really cool parents.
You should be excited, Andy, don't let anybody take that
away from you. And also, you're level headed, and it's
quite good to be a little bit fearful about what's
happening because it means that you can focus on the
things that make you, that worry you, and you can
deal with them. You can have a bit of a plan.
You can achieve anything in life team with a plan.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Actually, Andy, by the way, you're also exhibiting something that
every parent of every generation has always felt, as you're
about to be a doubt and you're hoping it's going
to turn out all right, So it's quite normal. I reckon,
how long? How long togo?
Speaker 5 (16:20):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Ages, hell, you've only just sort of found out nice, it's.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Been a long in a long journey coming.
Speaker 6 (16:30):
Good stuff, mate, cool, best wishes.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
The reason I mentioned that as well, it is nice
to remember those that that optimistic time when you're bap
to a new parents and oh my goodness and all
that sort of stuff. Of course, Tyra, my producer has
got a young How old is Arthur now? I think
he's about too. She's just got married, as I tell
people every week, just because it's fun to remind everyone
about the beautiful bride. Let's carry on, though, shall we say?
(16:56):
Are we okay?
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Brian?
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Hello, Bryan? You sound like you're surfing.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Where you go?
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Sort of yeah? Where you go?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Sorry? Fifty like.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Brace?
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Oh tell you what, Ryan, I'm going to put you
back to my producer. You've just lost reception there, and
I'm sure that you'll come back into into zone. So
just stick around and and we'll get you back on
the line. In just a moment, we'll say hello to Liz.
Liz today, I.
Speaker 9 (17:37):
Haven't been in the education area because I'm a music
specialist in preschool normal. My take on it is that
in my day, we're married and we were quite selfish,
and that we didn't know that we had to have
(18:01):
all these rules, so we just gathered the kids up
with the bush and laughed and played and sounds lovely, honest,
how wonderful experiences. We're both young, and my take on
it is that we had to when we didn't need
(18:22):
to focus and appearance today above you absolutely studied the
barbers because they practically give themselves up to raise their children,
where we just actually loved them to pieces and they
all came out because are you saying you.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Didn't think about things so much? You just got on
with things and your kids just happened to be there.
Speaker 9 (18:49):
Not quite that way.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
We love them provocatives and that.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
But I guess actually one thing you mentioned, though, Liz,
is and maybe this is part of it. You had.
I think people in decades gone by had children a
lot earlier, and I think that complicates things in a
way for older parents.
Speaker 9 (19:11):
Well, the thing is having been in the area of
dealing with them. We didn't have to put so much
to the parents today.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
But I think wonders what's coming becoming clear to me.
There were there were less options. Life was more simple.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I think that there fewer choices. Perhaps actually it's nice
to hear a person from a different generation.
Speaker 9 (19:39):
It was just I don't think there were truer choices.
I think we were very astute. We had good background
from our parents, and we we made a point of
giving them everything that they were going to do. But
(20:00):
in terms of coming out the other side, and they
all came out the other aside as adults through a
calm and less anxious time because nothing was anxious for them.
They they didn't have a lot to be anxious. They
(20:21):
had loved But that.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
Is fewer choices.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Kids didn't have the social media, they didn't have the
constant input.
Speaker 6 (20:27):
They were able to.
Speaker 5 (20:28):
Play and go outside and enjoy green space and enjoy
the love of their families.
Speaker 9 (20:34):
I don't totally agree. I have to challenge you because
the matters there weren't. There was petier things I lived.
I could have had many choices of not respanting to
raise my children, I putting them in somewhere to be
looked after. I didn't put it around, and I was
(20:57):
still mindful it out for them to play. Yeah, and
they I mean I could only talk talk for the
generation that I brought my children up and and I
look at them all and they are very rounded, well
achieving out Yeah. Yeah, well I teach them today and
(21:23):
personally I'm just an occupation. I get upset for the
parents because it's just such a full on task for them.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
I know.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Yeah, Hey, thanks for your call, Thanks for your callers.
Really appreciate you, that your perspective on things. There actually
just a couple of texts before you get back to
the course because lots of callers. They're easy back then,
hands down, only Dad worked and enough for the whole
family's needs, plus enough with mum's help to get a
deposit for ninety ninety year old do up six six kids,
(21:58):
not the one and a half kids today, poor buggers.
That's from Bob regular correspondent, and another person says, you've
made it a battle of the generations. I think you've
made a mistake in the way you framed this discussion.
Speaker 6 (22:08):
No, we didn't make it a battle of generation.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Don't want it to be a better of the generations.
But anyway, this person says, my mum and dad would
have faced their own is shoes in the sixties, and
how can you reframe the discussion? Are okay? Look, I
think we did reframe the discussion, but we need that one.
Maybe that text was sent before I actually said I
don't want to make it about a better of generations anyway, Ryan, Hello,
I am back with you guys.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
Yes, we've got you again.
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Yeah, I'm a father of Third Studio and I know
I think it's not hard, but people can make it
harder than the messy.
Speaker 5 (22:50):
Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 7 (22:53):
And she said everything for me single mother, My parents
wor when I was around, but my father still loves
us and he raised us follows.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
So I had.
Speaker 7 (23:03):
Two loving parents, which a big thing, and I think
I'll just give.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
It back to my kids.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Well that's lovely, but I mean it sounds like you
had two parents who were involved and you've said they
both gave you love. They were both their few irrespective
of being in different houses.
Speaker 6 (23:22):
So you know, there you go.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
That's a little bit of the traditional old school values
right there, and something that's going to now be transmitted
to Ryan's kids or to your kids, Ryan, So that's great.
Speaker 7 (23:35):
Yeah, so I know, like I'm just driving home from work.
I spend a lot of time at work, but then
I do try and spend a lot of time my
kids as well.
Speaker 6 (23:43):
It's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Yeah. Is it hard? Do you have to make a
special effort to do that and change the way you're
working in things? Or is lucky enough that you can
do that pretty easily.
Speaker 7 (23:57):
I would just sacrifice my own time, like the time
that I can have of them in the morning, whether
I wake up at five o'clock and make their breakfast
and then it's done for them. They know that, and
then I'll get home and breakfast even though it's in there.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Actually, I think that's the point. Actually is some sometimes
parents have to put down their bloody phones.
Speaker 5 (24:22):
Yeah. Yeah, But I also think that Ryan speaks to
a parent who is mindful of his children's needs. And again,
you have a plan, you have a pathway with your kids.
You keep the pathway of communication open with your children.
It sounds like that Ryan had a couple of good
role models in his you know, with his parents, and
he can go on to be one himself.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Good stuff, right, matey. Thanks for cool. Appreciate it, Ryan, Right,
let's actually what have we got here? I was just
gonna I'll just read it, try and mix up a
few texts before with the cause as well. One another
one person says it's far more complex, not harder, just different.
(25:02):
There are no natural resets always on, and families struggle
to create space because it used to be done for us.
For example, most things were shut on Sunday, there was
no internet, there's no shopping on after ours. Nine tech
families would rest, reset and go again on Monday. Now
we roll through and wonder why so many are cooked?
Speaker 6 (25:21):
Actually that do you mean cooked as in tired? Anxiou?
Speaker 5 (25:24):
Yeah, bugget okay, Yeah, I get that. Yeah, that's probably
the perspective that I have. I'm not sure that parenting
nowadays is super difficult. It is different and there are
different things that come into play.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
And when I was growing up, that's right, the shops
used to shut at five or five o'clock and it
was Friday night, late night shopping, no Saturday shopping, no
Sunday shopping. That does simplify a few things, doesn't it.
Speaker 5 (25:50):
Well, it means that there's a natural reset. As that
texture is pointing out and it means that people learn
to self regulate and they can sleep and they can read.
But I mean, you know, the connect world is profoundly different,
and the world that kids grow up and now will
(26:12):
change the trajectory of what people look like, what they behave.
Speaker 6 (26:16):
Like I mean, it's it's all going to be very different.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Hey, we're going to take a quick break back callers.
Stick around with Birk and just to tick. We're just
talking about it's parenting harder these days? I guess we're
putting it eight hundred eighty and eighties twenty four minutes
to six.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
You don't have.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Shud YT's welcome back to the Parents Squad of the
week and collect on. My guest is Sarah Chatwah. And
we're talking about is parenting harder these days because of
the distractions of modern life, nod living, technology, all that
sort of thing. Is it actually harder? And I don't
mean it as a generation a bat. It all just
is all complex set.
Speaker 6 (26:57):
Don't we It's not a generational battle.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Is a disclaimer bridget Hello.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Hey, how's it go? And go hie? Really interesting chats
can sort of agree with a lot of them. I
think as you bring it down. It's not necessarily harder,
it's different, and I think a lot of it, as
you said, stems from the value. So I'm thirty five,
(27:23):
I've got a three year old boy. Even just as
a parent, you know, you're so we do we see
all across social media, You've got influences telling you how
to raise your baby, what's good for the baby. So
you're already getting, you know, all the information that like
my mum never had, you know, they had the Plunket book.
(27:45):
And whereas we're being told constantly what's right and what's wrong.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
And who are these people anyway, with the experiences come from?
Because when I mean, I am bridget As you know,
I am not a fan of social media and certainly
influences something that I have tried to.
Speaker 6 (28:04):
Yeah, shy away for most of my life. Influence doesn't
interest me.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
So I always look at this stuff and I think, oh, boy,
I hope these young mothers just like you actually reach
out to health professionals GPS, that I love psychologists, that
they trust people that actually know and have learned and
come from a place of intellectual rigors so that they
are able to disseminate this information.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
Because boy, there's a lot out there, right there is.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
And as a new mum, if this is the information
you're seeing, it's so easy to feel like you're doing
a ship job. Sorry, you're doing a bad job.
Speaker 6 (28:38):
It breaks my heart.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
No, will you sound like you're not because you sound
very level and very grounded and parenting.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
Yeah, it's a hard gig, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
And I think as well for being thirty five, Like,
I mean, so I was a quatic nineties baby. So
you know we've lived. I mean, I love the nineties
from what I can remember of it. We've seen the
benefits pre social media, but we've also seen what's happened
to the generation below us who have been raised on it. Yes,
so again going back to those values, like we made
(29:11):
a decision, you know, my son will never have Like
if we're out at a park, nobody's on a phone
in front of it, Like he certainly isn't on the phone.
And it is hard because you've got a lot of
people going it is what it is, it's their future.
There is pushback, you know, there's so many groups.
Speaker 6 (29:30):
We have a choice.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
We're able to actually can convey some of those values
that our parents instilled into us. That's lovely and that's
what we love about our memories and about the nostalgic
days that we were brought up in.
Speaker 6 (29:41):
I mean you sound really onto it.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
Go you oh, thank you like which we try. And
it's like there is that pushback. Now. You know, there's
a thing over in the States called Wait until eighth,
which is about keeping social media and phones off of
kids until they hit about fourteen. Yes, and you know
there's even a community bringing back landlines, you know, just
(30:05):
the foster that connection without the digital precise. So, yes,
it's about choice. And it's like my mum always said,
it's never everyone.
Speaker 6 (30:16):
No, you know, that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
You do have that choice.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
Yeah, and we also have the choice to remember those
values because WHI whilst I actually call them old school, hey,
they're not really honest and loyalty, kindness, concern, consideration, good manners.
I mean, these these are things that should Yeah, they
should never have gone, and I hope they haven't. I mean,
(30:39):
you know, I raised my kids with all of them.
You're doing a good job with your child hate. You know,
sometimes it's not the influences, it's not the loudest voice
or the voice of popularity that succeeds. It's the voice
that keeps speaking intelligently and reminding people that listening for
a moment can create a positive change for lifetime.
Speaker 6 (30:57):
So that's what I'm about.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
I think Actually, with the technology, I mean, you still
will have some challenges ahead from of you, absolutely, but
I have I mean, my kid's pretty good with the phones,
but I think they're much better at dealing with their
peer groups and contact with them. We don't have tiktoking
like that. But does I know I'm thinking that the
younger generations are handling it better than maybe.
Speaker 6 (31:20):
But are they?
Speaker 5 (31:21):
There are huge escalating rates of anxiety, teen suicide.
Speaker 6 (31:25):
Are they really handling it?
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Maybe?
Speaker 6 (31:27):
Are these influences contributing to that?
Speaker 5 (31:29):
I mean, this is something that we have not looked
into enough, and I just don't think we ever will
because it's it's growing at such a rate that we
have no control except you know. But when you are
a parent like you, Bridget, you're doing a great job
and you're mindful of it. And these conversations, Tim, thank
you so much for having them with people, because they
make us all mindful that we need to keep looking,
(31:52):
we need to stay engaged with our children. Because that's
and that's because we love them.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Okay, we'll take time to square. Thank you so much
for your call. Bridget got times one more quickly, Peter Geta.
Speaker 8 (32:05):
I think it is generational. I think guilt is a
thing that sets into a lot of parents. Back in
my day, I was laid home from work and I
was there for kids to bed with dinner, whatever, I
try and make up with with for it the next day.
And that's guilt. And I think today these modern parents
have got so much on their plate. They've got huge mortgages,
(32:29):
are both working, they've got kids and after school care
and and they I think a lot of it is
making up for what they can't deliver. And and that
kind of goes back to it's a very basic thing.
But it's like in my generation we've gone from outside
long drop toilets. Now our kids my house doesn't have
(32:51):
three bathrooms.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Nostalgia for the long drop toilet.
Speaker 8 (32:57):
Peter, but that, yeah, watch spiders, but that But that's
just one of the things that that has happened. And
with progress and and and kids won't go like we
didn't have a Washington team, we didn't have any of
those things. But that that's you can't blame. You can't
blame that, that's just progress. But I think I think
there's a there's a guilt factor in there. I mean,
(33:18):
my grand kids they get everything pretty much. I mean,
my my children want my daughter in law and my son.
They try and make up in many ways, like like
we wouldn't even know what avocado was back and how
they but they have advocado on toast. Now, I mean
I know that that's a yeah, but I know that's
(33:38):
only a basic thing. But that's where it's progressed to.
So so you think steen out there so they think
they want it all, and I think that the parents
do try and rightly so right so, I just I
couldn't live with myself away these parents are how hard
they work and what they have to put up with,
and they must feel terrible about some of the things.
The time that that don't spend with their children.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Yeah, well I think that that's I think that's thank you, Peter,
thank you so much for that. And I think you know,
that's why it's good to have these conversations because it
and as I said that it doesn't want to make
generational battles about things. But I think every generation can
learn something about what's been before and reflections on what
you know, what were the good things about the previous
generations right and bring.
Speaker 6 (34:20):
It forward or you know whatever.
Speaker 5 (34:22):
But that's I just think it is also key that
people try not to feel guilt. Rather than feel guilt,
spend some time up close and personal with your kids
and give them the love that they deserve.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Got time flies. Thanks so much, Sarah, lovely to see
you usure.
Speaker 5 (34:37):
I'm always a pleasure never at.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Are mindworks dot co dot n z. If you want
to catch up with Sarah, chatwe and we'll be back
to wrap sport with Christopher Reeve. Superman is with us
right after the break, It's twelve minutes to Sick.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen live to News
Talk z B weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio
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