October 11, 2025 • 36 mins
We hear lots of horror stories about parenting - from the accidents that cost us a hefty bill, the arguments and bickering we bump into as they get older, the worries about our what they're doing when we're away, and the concerns of how social media's affecting their mental health.
But we do it because we love them - unconditionally. And part of that is having to embrace the numerous versions of people they grow up to be. So what are the moments and things that make all the stress melt away for you, and reminds why being a parent's all worth it?
Parenting Expert, and host of The Real Life, John Cowan joins Tim Beveridge for the Parent Squad...
LISTEN ABOVE
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks ab.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Feed alway, when you're hear the news.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
And I stand inside, but you don't see too many pass.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Coming in out of the rain to hear the jams
cool down.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Competitions on the Please.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
How about the horn be blowing?
Speaker 4 (00:43):
That sounds.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Well, that's welcome back. This is the Weekend Collective Umpton Beverage.
And by the way, that you can check out any
of our hours at the by going to News Talks.
B dot coin is in look for the Weekend Collective.
But right now it's time for the Parents Squad and
we want your calls on eight hundred eighty ten eighty
text nine two nine two And of course we cover
(01:08):
all things parenting, but actually what I wanted to talk
about today we'd love to hear from you as well.
In particular, especially we'd love to hear from you is
something actually as a result of my life in the
last couple of weeks. And you know you hear and
I think on the show, we talk about various problems
that parents face because parenting it's it's a big deal.
(01:32):
And you know, anything from accidents, you know, and arguments
and bickering and education and you know, worrying about social
media and all those sorts of things. And one of
the things that I think is sometimes absent is reminding
each other or people who haven't who are making the
(01:53):
decision around having children, about how parenting's pretty actually actually
quite awesome. What are the moments that make you think, actually,
you know what, this is fantastic. I've got a couple
of things, and I've mentioned this before, I think, but
my builder, who's become a good friend of mine, he
(02:13):
said to me once that he got basically, he said,
he got a little sick of the negativity around parenting
and people joking about, you know, I can't wait for
the kids to leave home and I can have a
life again and all that sort of thing. And he said,
he said, you know what, the day that my girls
leave home is going to be a really sad one
for us, because we absolutely love them, and you know,
we've had the usual he said, the usual parenting sort
(02:35):
of hassles, but you know, the dramas and things like that.
I said, but they're great. Parenting's awesome. And I suddenly
thought that we don't, you know, you don't have enough
of those conversations, and before I get onto the reason
I raised it, I thought we must well bring it out,
might as well. It sounds so casual and assignment parenting expert.
(02:56):
He's host of Real Life and his name's John cow
and get a John, how are you going?
Speaker 4 (02:59):
I'm doing well. Thanks, No, I'm just by the way.
I'm just the inconsequential shadow and corner.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Carry on anyway. But the reason I thought of this was,
and as look, I always have this balance between not
sharing too much about my kids because they're not part
of this show. But I am a parent and you know,
we've had we've had some some difficult circumstances to deal
with in the last week or two, not with my kids,
(03:26):
but just with on my wife's side of the family,
where she's had to be away for a couple of
weeks and the kids, you know, my girls twelve and fourteen,
although now I'm supposed to say thirteen and foting because
it's just been a birthday a couple of days ago,
so I'll say thirteen and fourting. But anyway, at the time,
twelve and fourteen, and so there's a lot to do
(03:47):
when when mum goes away, there's other jobs that need
to be picked up and the thing, the thing that
I'm it's actually been a really amazing moment for me
as a dad, because you know, I was ready to
step into and you know, to step into the into
the jobs that maybe my wife was covering and shopping
and meal planning and things like that. And basically my
(04:10):
daughters just did brilliantly. And one of my daughters planned
the meals for the week. You know, we talked about, well,
what would you like for dinner? And we all discussed
it together, and she said, would you like me to
do a meal plan? And I said, you go ahead
and go and do it. And then she did a
meal plan. Then she came up with the shopping list
and what we needed to do. And the other one
was who normally wouldn't necessarily fold the washing. I said,
(04:32):
could you there's a couple of loads of washing I
need to fold. I'll do it, Dad, I'll do this,
I'll do that. And they just were amazing. And it
might sound really simple, but it was just the little
things that I thought they would need more cajoling on,
and I just thought, God, you're really awesome. And for me,
that was just a lovely moment of realizing I don't know.
(04:52):
I've got a couple of daughters and they're quite They
impressed me all the time anyway, because they're way smarter
than me. But I thought it would be nice to
have an hour where we talked about the really, what
are the moments if you were getting having a chat
with it a young friend who is like, I'm thinking
of I'm going to be a doubt, I'm going to
be a mum. You know what can I look forward to?
What are the moments that you remember that you go, God,
(05:12):
it's actually the best thing you do. John, you got
any Actually we were talking about something that Jimmy Carr,
the comedian said, which made me nervous when you said
you wanted to quote Jimmy Carr in the Parenting Eye,
And I.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Think I'll quote a few other of Jimmy Carr's jokes
just to get things roight.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
No.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
No, there's little clips on reels or something where he's
been asked questions by the audience and they asked him
a question about him being a parent and you're expecting
some smart alec absolutely shocking response from Jimmy Carr, And
he said, I thought I was the smartest guy at
the table. I had all these good reasons why I
shouldn't become a parent, and I just felt like I
(05:50):
was nailing at being not having kids. And then I
realized I was sitting at the dumb person's table, and
he sort of obviously now rates being a parent as
one of the most significant important things, and I thought,
a cynical, crusty person. Yeah, and to actually take that
opportunity in the middle of a comedy show, to be
(06:11):
absolutely straight down the barrel honest about how it's just
so significant to it.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
It's almost like the audience would have been waiting for
the kickerline as he just said, Yeah, I was sitting
at the wrong tap is the best thing I've ever done. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Yeah, The punchline was that there was no punchline, and
it was memorable for that reason, surprisingly moving possibly as well. Yeah,
because your last thing you expect them to say, and
that is I think an experience that a lot of
us have. I mean, I can think back to times
when I've had so much fun with my kids I'm
almost crying, you know, because they're so funny and witty,
(06:45):
and the wonderful realization that my kids are smarter and
funnier than I am. It's humbling, and but that's so good.
And also when you get the hint or even when
they're obvious, when they are avert about it, that.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
They actually like you.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
But it is so nice and make me wonder my
both my parents are long long gone. Did I ever
tell them? Did I tell them they actually liked them,
that I was proud of them, that they thought they
did a fantastic job and all that sort of thing,
And oh, maybe I didn't.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
But you know what, I don't think parents, you're not
you went waiting to hear from that for your kids.
I don't actually need them to tell me, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
What I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
I don't think it matters. What they want to know
is that you, as their son, was loved.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Yeah, of course, of course. But if it happens to
sneak out of their mouth or just something in what
they do or you know, you know, it gives that
impression that actually it's not just because they are on
me because I'm the father of the dynasty sort of thing,
they actually they sort of liked me or proud of
some of the things I've done. It's it's it's really
(07:51):
really touching. I mean, it's nice getting praise from anyone,
but to get it from your own kids, actually, that's
very very It melts me.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah. Actually the thing that the couple of memories I
have of and realizing that actually you don't mind someone
else being smarter than you when it's your kids. And
I was reading over my daughter's she's the voracious reader,
and I was reading over her shoulder, I think when
she was eight years old. So she was, you know,
(08:22):
having a sort of snuggle before lights out, and she
had a book and I just I was lying next
to her and I had her and I followed her.
I was reading along with her, and she's she's turning
the pages before I was ready.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
She helping give the big words.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
I said to her, And I didn't want to, you know,
I wasn't going to meet anything at that stage. I said,
you read that page very quickly? Did you read everything?
What happened in those two pages? Exactly what happened? I thought, Oh.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
God, used it they go to they launch off for
our shoulders, and of course they're going to go high
over us. We certainly hope they do.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Of course, it's an expensive hobby by for activity buying
a box because she luckily she reads them again and again,
but she does something for her birthday, and that afternoon
she finished reading it. I was like, okay, I think
that's probably she's a bit quick. Here's the first tip
of the day. Libraries. I've got lots of books and libraries,
so we thought maybe it'd be nice, not maybe, definitely
(09:27):
been an interesting hour to hear from you on your
thoughts on being a parent, because you know, actually, yes,
there are tough times and all that sort of thing,
but actually I think people become parents because there's a
lot more in the positive ledger. We'd love to hear
your stories or thoughts about, you know, what comes to
mind when you're if you were maybe talking to someone
(09:49):
else about what being a parent means. Give us a
call on eight hundred and eighty ten eighty. You can
text on nine two nine two, and I say we'd
love to eve you text, but we'd love to V
calls as well. And John Carn's MC guests. Let's go
to our first caller, Jared, Hi, how's it going all right?
How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
I'm doing very well. Got my two kids the back.
Did you just got my four year old boy and
one year old girl and we've just been at the
park and we had a great time, didn't we. Kids. Yeah, yeah,
that is a strange paradox because it's on the one hand,
(10:29):
the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it's also the
most rewarding and the most joyful at times as well.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
What's the thing that stands out has stood out to
you in the three or four years you've been a dad.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I think they're learning milestones when you know, just when
when something finally clicks for the for them. You know,
I'm a father of a son, and I think, particularly
for my son, when you know, finally understands you know,
what addition is, you know, or the alphabet, or learning
(11:04):
a word, there's just such a moment of right. But
I think also, I mean even more than that, the
character learning developments. So when he can when he really
shows genuine kindness, not out of obligation, not out of
just getting a reward out of something, but genuine kindness
to his sister or to his mum or whatever, that's
(11:29):
a that's a real moment of late. Wow, he's he's learned,
you know, he's learned that from well, from you in
training and well hopefully, I mean, he learns all the
terrible stuff as well.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
But can I just.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Compliment you that you're clever enough to actually note it?
You know, these are the good old days, These are
very special times. And yes you're tired, and yes, the
money goes down the tubes faster than you can learn
it sometimes, but honestly, these really are the wonderful times,
and you're very clever at being able to notice this.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Yeah, hey, were you ready to be a parent?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Are we ever? Really?
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Really?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Really?
Speaker 3 (12:11):
That's a tough question. I wasn't anyways, So.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, I think I was. That it's kind of baptism
by fire, right, Like it's it's kind of just one
of those things you really have to People can tell
you about the struggles and all those kinds, and you
can read all the books about parenting, but it's not
until you really experience it for yourself that's when you
(12:34):
really start to learn. And look, it's the hardest thing
you'll ever do.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
I'm just curious because as a dad, I have a theory,
and anyone can tell me if I'm wrong with this.
I reckon most dads don't really realize that that they're
becoming a dad until the baby pops out, whereas mums
are they're months ahead because they're dealing with the change
in their bodies. And I don't know what instincts kicking in,
but I think dads are generally like I've got suddenly
(13:02):
the baby pops out there, like what the hell?
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely I had that. I had
that real sense, you know, as soon as you know.
The other one is when you're you're driving your baby
home for the first time and you're driving like twenty k's.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Down the road the drivers actually.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
A crasher, or when they wake up in the middle
of the night for the first time and you're whatho's that?
What's that? We have a baby?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Yes, actually, Jared, thank you for reminding me about that
driving That is a really big deal for the dads
because it's the driving the baby home from the you know,
the birthplace or hospital or whatever the first time. Hey,
thanks for your call, mate, because I remember. I remember that.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
I'm sure I was actually.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Because I didn't have any I hadn't had any younger sisters,
younger brothers, younger you know, I was the youngest until
I wasn't until I was a dad, and carrying that capsule. Yeah,
and my wife, you know, obviously saying this is and
the nurses were all like, hey, dad, you've got we've
got it. Here's something for you. And I was like,
do I have to? And caring.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
That was how can they entrust this infant to us?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Actually literally I just thought that. But this is a
really responsible position to be in.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
I guess I had a little advantage, even though it
was awful at the time, was my wife had to
have an emergency Caesar when our first child was born.
And I think I thought that I was just going
to be sitting back in a sort of a spectator role,
but suddenly I had to be thrust into much more
of a caregiver role than I had planned to because
my wife, you know, couldn't carry you or lift or
(14:40):
do anything like that. And so I was doing a
lot more that I thought I would be. And I'm
just so grateful for that experience of suddenly being fast
forward into being a dad. And it's great.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
It's got an emotional topic when I think of it now,
because the other thing that and look, we'd love you
to share your memories of becoming a parent or the
magical moments where you met, you know, which you would
pass on to other people as being you know, those
moments you wouldn't trade for anything. When my first was born,
the midwife after I think it was day two or
(15:13):
day three or something said not probably the day after
she's born. Actually, she said, right, dad, come here, She said, Okay,
hop up on the bed there. She'd take your shirt
off because I think she just wanted to see my muscles,
just kidding by the way. She said, take your shirt off,
and she put my daughter on me for a cuddle,
(15:37):
skin to skin, and my daughter went to sleep on
my chest and I lay therefore. I don't know how
long it was. That was absolutely bliss. But she knew
that I sort of. She was like, okay, come on, dad, right,
it's time for you. And I'm really grateful she did that.
It was it was a very special moment. So yeah,
that's that's probably my first big memory. Oh wait, one
(16:00):
hundred eighty ten eighty.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
We want your calls.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
We want to hear your stories about just the joy
of being a parent, because you know, the world's full
of negative stories and the things you can worry about.
So give us your thoughts and what you remember about
the good things about being a parent. Twenty three minutes
past five, News Talk said be with Tim Beverage talking
about the magic where it's magic moments of parenting rather
than worrying about everything from X, Y, A Z. And
we're with John Cown taking your calls on your golden
(16:24):
parenting sort of moments. Eight hundred eighty ten eighty Reuben.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
High, Hello, here you go.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Good a good thanks. How are you?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Good good, Yeah. I just wanted to share a positive
recent story of parenting.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
Yeah, last night we were we were kids. Kids are
tides the lounge and so we said we could have
a have a movie evening and we yeah, we're we
are five five children. So we all all sat down
and the youngest one wanted to want to you got
a pillow, pillow and blank, you want to lie down
and have a cattle. So it was all good, and
(17:03):
we're watching Milana and and I don't remember, but we
both fell asleep and and and my wife told me
to go to bed, that it's time to go to bed.
And I grunted and rolled over and h and then
she told the youngest three and a half year old,
(17:26):
time for bens. You know, now, I want to stay
with dead.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
It's lovely.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Yeah, it has little moments like that that they and
they could. I just warn you, they slip out of
your memory if you can write it down, write it
down somewhere, because that type of stuff. It's sometimes when
you're arguing with you're a teenager, it's nice to remember
that as a three year old, they wanted to stay
next to you in bed. And that's treasure. It's real treasure.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
What was the movie?
Speaker 3 (17:59):
But actually, funny thing as recently my daughter as are
into and I'm not into Marvel, but one of my
daughters is right into it and she's just dying for
me to watch a Marvel thing and she gave me
an ongoing commentary. But I must say I actually quite
enjoyed it because I was watching it with my daughter.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
Yep, yep, No, that is nice vision. It's good to
enjoy the enjoy the enjoy the moment.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
How many how many kids have you got?
Speaker 5 (18:26):
To?
Speaker 4 (18:26):
Say?
Speaker 6 (18:28):
Five?
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Okay, five and you're still enjoying family life. That's fantastic.
Speaker 6 (18:37):
It's very good.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Well, actually, what would you say to you know when
I mean everyone's sort of when they're thinking about having kids,
if you had a friend asking about having kids, what's
it like? What what advice would you give them to
help them deal with that start of that journey?
Speaker 5 (18:52):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Just actually, thanks mate. I think that that probably a
good good advice for me as well, because you know what,
we sometimes like to try and overthinking things on the
parents squad. But anyway, thanks mate, Let's take some more calls.
We're up to Michael.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Hello, Yeah, get John Egan.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
Not very good.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Mine was, I've got a fucking year old daughter and
she sort of orient should have been struggling with the
CIA exams and sort of stressing around her NCAA stuff,
and uh, sort of last month we if you've got
a diagnose with a bit of dismissia, and so she
had been getting her down. But that's the cool thing
(19:37):
was is that we just found out that she just
managed to pass both those two milestones. And so the
resilience that she's shown and whether it's tasks or whether
it's just yourself, but sort of makes you really proud
of what they can achieve with the right mindset.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Yeah, that's fantastic seeing them achieve. And I'm sure she
senses that you're proud of her and Also it's I
think it's great when p people try to get behind
why kids aren't doing well and to get a sort
of a diagnosis like that so that you can then
get around it and on top of it and over
it and passed. That sort of thing. It can be
(20:16):
such a help good.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Teachers when they all found out that she'd pass, and
obviously they all knew after the tests that what she
was dealing with, all gave her a massive hope because
they were super proud of her as well, and so
it just makes it call when you know the teachers
are back in the students as well sort of thing.
So it's just that nice community feeling.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
In It's quite an emotional thing, isn't it. Those things
they can recatch you.
Speaker 5 (20:41):
Yeah, yep, yep on your mate, that's what it's got.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Yeah, yeah, thanks Michael, I mean yeah, you can even
hear I think there. And it's funny the simple things
like that, isn't it.
Speaker 6 (20:53):
Hey.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
I love the fact that we've had three dads in
a row. Yeah you know who. And this is the
thing that there is a huge renaissance in fatherhood. I reckon,
you don't have to go too fair to find a dad. Dad,
But I think most dads are trying to take it
more seriously. We're still a lot we can still learn.
But so it's wonderful hearing that the idea that they
(21:16):
switched on enough to actually note that these are the
good days.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
It's funny I do some strange hours as a result
of my geg on radio, and look, there's times when
I can be but you know, the overnight radio. I
enjoy that for what it is, but sometimes the hours
can be quite tough. But I remind myself that it's
the hours that I do with that that mean that
after school I can take my kids to ballet. I mean,
I used to pride myself on being the dad who
(21:41):
did better buns than the mums. I'm not sure I
did the best bun, but I liked the ballet buns.
You know that when you put their tie, their hair
up at the back. So I wouldn't talking about baking
or anything. But actually it's funny. Just having that time
to be able to spend, you know, at least find
(22:01):
more time than maybe some other parents have to spend
with your kids, I think is a big deal. The
other one is for me philosophically, the thing about having kids.
Is I say to people, which is this is a
more heavy philosophical bent on things. I might have even
said this to you before, But every time you have
a new child, it's a redemption of every balls up
(22:25):
you've ever made in life, because if it hadn't been
for that journey, that particular child wouldn't be around. And
it's a removal of all regrets for me, even the
bad decisions I made as a young person. I look
back and go, well, if I hadn't done that, I
wouldn't have done X, Y Z and then had this
particular daughter. Is that a bit deep?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
It was far too deep. I drifted off And it
is profound because being a parent, it's almost metaphysical and
its impact on you. And you're steering at this li
infant in a cop thinking, this child is going to
be alive into the twenty second century. You know this
child is you know there's going to be free moments
(23:05):
of me the next century. There's going to be people
with my hay fever and my weak ankles and other
speaks of my genetic legacy. Maybe not maybe maybe they'll
fix it by then, but I mean, you know, just
that sense of heritage and everything. Now, part of that,
I guess comes just from this natural desire to reproduce
and and some people logically can push that aside and
(23:28):
decide not that children and good and but it is
a very natural designer, I think, to want to have kids.
In fact, those kids, those one and six couples that
have difficulty conceiving.
Speaker 7 (23:40):
Well, I'll be anguish as really I'm trying to be.
I'm trying to remember. Before we had kids, I knew
that I'd seen who my parents were and how they
enjoyed having hopefully us, my men, my brothers. But I
didn't feel a strong I didn't feel a really strong
(24:01):
pull to be a dad until and I don't want
to go too much detail, but we had some we
had some disappointments, and it was after one of those
with a miscarriage, and it was after an event which
was I felt something had happened and I felt completely
sort of detached, and I called my mom up about
(24:22):
it and told it and told her and completely lost
it and broke down.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
And I suddenly realized how much I did want to
be a dad. But it wasn't until I thought I
couldn't be that I want you know, it's a funny
old journey. Whereas I think some people have a really
strong drive I can't wait to be a dad and
all this sort of stuff, Whereas you know, the baby
pops out and I'm like, holy hell, what's this? Anyway,
I don't want to overshare myself, but I probably already have. Anyway,
(24:48):
you can give us a call, though, we'd love to
hear from you. Eight hundred and eighty ten eighty. Quite
a few texts on this actually, Hillo. Hello, gents, you're
totally right being a dad the day they show up
versus mum having a lead in like you're playing catch up.
Remember the first time I held my daughter made me
I feel mortal, which was an amazing experience. I love
(25:09):
being a dad, cheers Nate. Actually, the other side of that, John.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Is it.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
I think it stops you worrying about being mortal for me,
because my dad always used to say I used to
ask him, you know, he was an agnostic sort of character,
but he said I used to ask him about how
he felt about, you know, the fact that we live
and we die, and he says, I'm not worried about
knowing at all. And I said, why is that, And
he said, because I've got four sons that I'm proud of,
and you carry a little bit of me and you
(25:36):
and that's enough for me. And I actually thought at
the time, I thought I can't get my head around
that because I wasn't a dad, But now I do. Anyway,
we'll take a quick break. We'd love to have your thoughts.
You're positive. We're talking about just you know, your thoughts
on becoming a parent and some positive stories and the
things that you you know, you wouldn't trade for anything. Oh,
eight hundred and eighty ten eighty text nine two nine two.
(25:58):
I'm with John Cowen and this is the Parent's Squad
a news Talk, said b It's twenty four minutes to six.
News Talk said be with Tim Bever. My guest as
John Cawn. We're just talking about some of the positive
moments of being an apparent. Actually, funnily enough, the most
of the calls have been from dads. All of the
call all actually all of the calls. Should I say
if you're a mum, By the way, it's not mean
to exclude mums, it's just I think I think that
(26:20):
that's because dads are the ones who have the biggest. Now,
by the way, if your a mum listened to this,
don't worry, don't get triggered by me. That's saying that.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
Yeah, I'm just wondering.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
I think they have the most the steepest journey. That
that's a better way of putting it. Mums have a
massive journey. They just deal with it over earlier than
the dads as opposed to you know, I still remember
the medwife as my one of my daughters has been born,
and you know, things were still a while away from happening.
(26:53):
He said, oh, it's a redhead, and I said, how
on earth can you can you tell? Because nothing was there. Yeah,
that was a kind of shock. I thought, Oh, that's right,
we got rid red hair in our genes on both sides.
Here's some text here, love you show today. Parenting for
me has only ever been the greatest thing ever once
(27:14):
all the other pro con fact as a discount of
the innate knowledge that I'm raising the next generation is
fulfilling at a very fundamental level. My four are now
aged ten to fifteen, and I wouldn't trade them for
all the world.
Speaker 7 (27:27):
Wow, that's actually let's get it all over with.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
That's not messing around?
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Is it?
Speaker 6 (27:34):
No?
Speaker 4 (27:34):
Look, I think this is wonderful. The people are clever
enough to realize just how fortunate they are and to
make note of all those good times, because sometimes the
problems can loom too large, and especially if it's compounded
of other issues and problems. But honestly, this is a
big gig that we get entrusted with, this idea of
(27:55):
being a parent, and I just had so much fun
with my kids. My wife got sick of me saying
this is the best stage, as as each of the
kids as well. Kids were growing up and they'd get
to being a toddler or start talking, or start you know,
watching Telly with you getting involved in their music, and
you'd say, oh, this is the best stage. And I
(28:16):
think one of the things I really enjoyed about my
kids was get funny out who they are because they're
not you, and you don't really know what they are.
It's like you've been given a pack of the seeds
with the label off and you plant it and you see,
what have I got off? I've got beans, Oh, I've
got a rose bush, I've got a cabbage.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
There are some really sweet texts coming through, and I'll
read that. Here's just before we go to Kim, who's
holding So we'll be with you in a second. I'll
just read this text out. Hi, John and Tim. I'm
an auntie and help locked after my special little girl
since the day she was born, as we all lived
in the same house. One of my special moments was
when she was aged sex when she made me a
handmade Mother's Day card as I didn't have children of
(28:56):
my own. And I love her dairy daily from Mary
good very sweet.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
Yes, uncles and aunts and special friends. That's such an ally,
such a seat.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
We took my eight year old daughter snorkling on a
coral reef recently. It was pretty chopping on the boat out,
hard to see into the water, and she was nervous
getting in. When we got to the reef, she got
in and after a bit of coaxing, put her face
in the water. The noise that came out of a
snorkel as one of the as the sound I'll never forget.
It was the purest sound of our pure joy. Just brilliant.
And that's from a no name text, but yeah, beautiful
(29:28):
story level. Yeah, and that's what I meant from this
out that I wanted to hear about it. Ah, Steph says,
moms are busy making dinner. That's why dad's are calling. Possibly, Steph,
you've got hands free eight hundred eighty ten eighty Kim.
Speaker 8 (29:44):
Hello, Hey guys, this is nice and nice. Thanks you
talking about this afternoon. I found ring just because you know,
it's been all the dads, so I want to give
you a bit of balance.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
But I don't know.
Speaker 8 (29:56):
I love being pregnant. I can't tell you. I feel
so grateful that I was able to be and I
was able to carry two beautiful kids, and that whole
experience was absolute in mind blowing. And min Tim we've
talked about this before we know each other, but Minor
thirteen and fifteen now, but I can still remember carrying
them and actually giving birth to them, and for me
(30:18):
it was all I was lucky. It was a really
positive experience. But that was incredible. But it's just watching
those different stages and learning, like I don't think I've
ever learnt as much about myself and helping to be
helping me to be the best parent I can be
in supporting them, and that's just mind blowing in itself.
Is just and watching how that goes together, you know,
(30:41):
and how that helps them and how that that being
manifitan and the way they behave and they are, and
you know, and watching that those personalities come.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Out, it's just did you have the same observation about
the father of the children and being not quite getting
it until it all happened? Because you were talking about
the pregnancy of the journey you went on, it's and
that's actually at a nine month head because some people
have troublesome pregnancies as well. Do you do you just
remember all the good bits that might be oxytocin By
(31:11):
the way, Yeah.
Speaker 8 (31:13):
Absolutely, I love those Mormons. God bring them back. They
were amazing.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I think so.
Speaker 8 (31:22):
And I was actually just listening to a podcast. I've
been driving from Haks Way back to Auckland, and it
was just talking about how a woman's brain changes right
through life from a neutro right through to you know,
posting unipoors kind of thing, and just what happens during pregnancy,
and I was like, you know, it's quite amazing looking
back on that and going, you know, what actually is
happening to us at that time as well, not just
(31:42):
about growing this child, but the way our brain is
rewiring in order to be able to take care of
that little human. And so yeah, you do, obviously you
get you kind of are more prepared. I think my
husband was. He was so my son just decided he
didn't want to come out. He was taking his good time.
So my husband was watching I think it was thirty
Rock and he was just standing in the corner of
(32:04):
the booth the unit going, you know, I can't be
bothered with us, so I'm just all of a sudden,
it also happened, so you know, and he's a great
dad and and what what is lovely as actually going
from that? You know, they're really dependent on you. They're
really attached to you, all of that sort of stuff.
And at this age, Tim you might be finding it
now with the girls, but it is that they start
(32:26):
needing their dad more.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Both of them.
Speaker 8 (32:27):
I've got a boy and a girl, so you know,
and they both there's a new renewal of that relationship.
And that's kind of really lovely to watch as well,
because I didn't have a I don't have a great
relationship with my dad, but it's really nice seeing my
kids have that, so you know, just it's the joy
and seeing that and there and they're laughter and the
(32:48):
things that they're you know that they find funny and
the things that we're so uncool that we try to
be and you know, like it's just it's just really fun.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Look. Look comes and nice to hear from you too.
It's actually, you know, you've just reminded me of the
lucky you know that the bond that dads and daughters have,
and that's how they're actually a memory that I'll never
forget because I come from a family of boys. There
all the all the kids have been born and sort
of in the in the beverages. Until my daughters were born,
(33:19):
it was just all boys. There were no no girls.
And I remember calling my mum to say, you know,
you've got a daughter, a granddaughter, a granddaughter, and she
was just her reaction to that, she was over the moon.
Speaker 8 (33:32):
Yeah, that's really cool, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Just quickly so you enjoyed your pregnancy? What was it
actually like just that moment you know, there's one thing
to be carrying a child, then the child's born. What
what do you remember about the first time you saw
the It's like there's a song about it. I think
the first time ever I saw your Facebook.
Speaker 8 (33:50):
I think, yeah, it's just well, I don't know, did
you feel it. It's like, I don't know, it's just overwhelming, it's.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Quite it's just awesome.
Speaker 8 (33:58):
I suppose it's just awesome. But then there's also that
having them on the inside, just on the outside. I
was a very I can't remember what the words called
attachment style parents. So my kids slept on my chest
until they were about three months old. You know, we're
all well propped up and well kidful, but so I
(34:18):
think I really found it. They'd been inside me for
so long and that feeling was quite incredible. That then
having them on the outside, there was almost that that
grieving and letting go of that part. And maybe that's
what we do a little bit with every milestone. I
feel like, is that you go, oh my god, it's
so nick that they're walking now, but they're never going
to crawl again, you know, like it's that's gone. And
(34:41):
so it's probably that's when it starts, right, you know,
they were in, now they're out, and that's the first
part stone.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
And then.
Speaker 8 (34:50):
My daughter just turned thirteen and my son is the.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
Seen Oh god, okay, yes exactly, you know.
Speaker 8 (34:57):
You're the girl. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, nice.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Thank you so much for you.
Speaker 8 (35:02):
You will see soon, Okay, bye.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
Actually, I forgot the first most strident memory I've got
strident whatever, it is beautiful memory and it is definitely
the big one for me was watching my wife become
a mum. And I don't mean in the act of birth.
I meant from the baby coming out to her, greeting
the baby and suddenly talking to it and saying hello,
(35:28):
and just instantly and suddenly she was a mother. That
was the best thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
I think.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Anyway, I thought to share that with you. We're gonna
have to wrap it. Well, we'll see if we might
squeeze another text in, but we're going to be rapping
sport briefly in just a moment. It is eleven and
a half minutes. Sex News Talk said, be. The News
Talk said, be. Actually that does wrap the parents squad,
And I just wanted to say I loved some of
those stories and thank you all for your calls and
some beautiful there's actually some really gorgeous texts here about
(35:56):
being a parent and it's actually quite moving to read them.
So thank you for sharing those stories. And also big
thanks to John Cowen for John and me.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
John, it was a privilege I loved in those stories.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
Well, yes it was, wasn't it? And paid by the
way Real Life seven thirty Tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (36:09):
Night with Nadia Limb Nattier Limb. We got a new
TV series And yeah, he's the only person I've ever
interviewed four times.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
So it's just because you want a copy of her
box or something.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
It's because she must be the most interesting person in
New Zealand.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
I guess, well possibly possibly, Okay, I was going to
say something vain and sort of silly you again. Actually,
there is someone who does a bit of hosting still
on News Talk said B who is keeping a tally
about whether he can get on with John Cown again.
Like park It, I hear it seven minutes to Say.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen live to News
Talk said Be weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio.
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks ab.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Feed alway, when you're hear the news.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
And I stand inside, but you don't see too many pass.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Coming in out of the rain to hear the jams
cool down.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Competitions on the Please.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
How about the horn be blowing?
Speaker 4 (00:43):
That sounds.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Well, that's welcome back. This is the Weekend Collective Umpton Beverage.
And by the way, that you can check out any
of our hours at the by going to News Talks.
B dot coin is in look for the Weekend Collective.
But right now it's time for the Parents Squad and
we want your calls on eight hundred eighty ten eighty
text nine two nine two And of course we cover
(01:08):
all things parenting, but actually what I wanted to talk
about today we'd love to hear from you as well.
In particular, especially we'd love to hear from you is
something actually as a result of my life in the
last couple of weeks. And you know you hear and
I think on the show, we talk about various problems
that parents face because parenting it's it's a big deal.
(01:32):
And you know, anything from accidents, you know, and arguments
and bickering and education and you know, worrying about social
media and all those sorts of things. And one of
the things that I think is sometimes absent is reminding
each other or people who haven't who are making the
(01:53):
decision around having children, about how parenting's pretty actually actually
quite awesome. What are the moments that make you think, actually,
you know what, this is fantastic. I've got a couple
of things, and I've mentioned this before, I think, but
my builder, who's become a good friend of mine, he
(02:13):
said to me once that he got basically, he said,
he got a little sick of the negativity around parenting
and people joking about, you know, I can't wait for
the kids to leave home and I can have a
life again and all that sort of thing. And he said,
he said, you know what, the day that my girls
leave home is going to be a really sad one
for us, because we absolutely love them, and you know,
we've had the usual he said, the usual parenting sort
(02:35):
of hassles, but you know, the dramas and things like that.
I said, but they're great. Parenting's awesome. And I suddenly
thought that we don't, you know, you don't have enough
of those conversations, and before I get onto the reason
I raised it, I thought we must well bring it out,
might as well. It sounds so casual and assignment parenting expert.
(02:56):
He's host of Real Life and his name's John cow
and get a John, how are you going?
Speaker 4 (02:59):
I'm doing well. Thanks, No, I'm just by the way.
I'm just the inconsequential shadow and corner.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Carry on anyway. But the reason I thought of this was,
and as look, I always have this balance between not
sharing too much about my kids because they're not part
of this show. But I am a parent and you know,
we've had we've had some some difficult circumstances to deal
with in the last week or two, not with my kids,
(03:26):
but just with on my wife's side of the family,
where she's had to be away for a couple of
weeks and the kids, you know, my girls twelve and fourteen,
although now I'm supposed to say thirteen and foting because
it's just been a birthday a couple of days ago,
so I'll say thirteen and fourting. But anyway, at the time,
twelve and fourteen, and so there's a lot to do
(03:47):
when when mum goes away, there's other jobs that need
to be picked up and the thing, the thing that
I'm it's actually been a really amazing moment for me
as a dad, because you know, I was ready to
step into and you know, to step into the into
the jobs that maybe my wife was covering and shopping
and meal planning and things like that. And basically my
(04:10):
daughters just did brilliantly. And one of my daughters planned
the meals for the week. You know, we talked about, well,
what would you like for dinner? And we all discussed
it together, and she said, would you like me to
do a meal plan? And I said, you go ahead
and go and do it. And then she did a
meal plan. Then she came up with the shopping list
and what we needed to do. And the other one
was who normally wouldn't necessarily fold the washing. I said,
(04:32):
could you there's a couple of loads of washing I
need to fold. I'll do it, Dad, I'll do this,
I'll do that. And they just were amazing. And it
might sound really simple, but it was just the little
things that I thought they would need more cajoling on,
and I just thought, God, you're really awesome. And for me,
that was just a lovely moment of realizing I don't know.
(04:52):
I've got a couple of daughters and they're quite They
impressed me all the time anyway, because they're way smarter
than me. But I thought it would be nice to
have an hour where we talked about the really, what
are the moments if you were getting having a chat
with it a young friend who is like, I'm thinking
of I'm going to be a doubt, I'm going to
be a mum. You know what can I look forward to?
What are the moments that you remember that you go, God,
(05:12):
it's actually the best thing you do. John, you got
any Actually we were talking about something that Jimmy Carr,
the comedian said, which made me nervous when you said
you wanted to quote Jimmy Carr in the Parenting Eye,
And I.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Think I'll quote a few other of Jimmy Carr's jokes
just to get things roight.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
No.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
No, there's little clips on reels or something where he's
been asked questions by the audience and they asked him
a question about him being a parent and you're expecting
some smart alec absolutely shocking response from Jimmy Carr, And
he said, I thought I was the smartest guy at
the table. I had all these good reasons why I
shouldn't become a parent, and I just felt like I
(05:50):
was nailing at being not having kids. And then I
realized I was sitting at the dumb person's table, and
he sort of obviously now rates being a parent as
one of the most significant important things, and I thought,
a cynical, crusty person. Yeah, and to actually take that
opportunity in the middle of a comedy show, to be
(06:11):
absolutely straight down the barrel honest about how it's just
so significant to it.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
It's almost like the audience would have been waiting for
the kickerline as he just said, Yeah, I was sitting
at the wrong tap is the best thing I've ever done. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Yeah, The punchline was that there was no punchline, and
it was memorable for that reason, surprisingly moving possibly as well. Yeah,
because your last thing you expect them to say, and
that is I think an experience that a lot of
us have. I mean, I can think back to times
when I've had so much fun with my kids I'm
almost crying, you know, because they're so funny and witty,
(06:45):
and the wonderful realization that my kids are smarter and
funnier than I am. It's humbling, and but that's so good.
And also when you get the hint or even when
they're obvious, when they are avert about it, that.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
They actually like you.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
But it is so nice and make me wonder my
both my parents are long long gone. Did I ever
tell them? Did I tell them they actually liked them,
that I was proud of them, that they thought they
did a fantastic job and all that sort of thing,
And oh, maybe I didn't.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
But you know what, I don't think parents, you're not
you went waiting to hear from that for your kids.
I don't actually need them to tell me, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
What I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
I don't think it matters. What they want to know
is that you, as their son, was loved.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Yeah, of course, of course. But if it happens to
sneak out of their mouth or just something in what
they do or you know, you know, it gives that
impression that actually it's not just because they are on
me because I'm the father of the dynasty sort of thing,
they actually they sort of liked me or proud of
some of the things I've done. It's it's it's really
(07:51):
really touching. I mean, it's nice getting praise from anyone,
but to get it from your own kids, actually, that's
very very It melts me.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah. Actually the thing that the couple of memories I
have of and realizing that actually you don't mind someone
else being smarter than you when it's your kids. And
I was reading over my daughter's she's the voracious reader,
and I was reading over her shoulder, I think when
she was eight years old. So she was, you know,
(08:22):
having a sort of snuggle before lights out, and she
had a book and I just I was lying next
to her and I had her and I followed her.
I was reading along with her, and she's she's turning
the pages before I was ready.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
She helping give the big words.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
I said to her, And I didn't want to, you know,
I wasn't going to meet anything at that stage. I said,
you read that page very quickly? Did you read everything?
What happened in those two pages? Exactly what happened? I thought, Oh.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
God, used it they go to they launch off for
our shoulders, and of course they're going to go high
over us. We certainly hope they do.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Of course, it's an expensive hobby by for activity buying
a box because she luckily she reads them again and again,
but she does something for her birthday, and that afternoon
she finished reading it. I was like, okay, I think
that's probably she's a bit quick. Here's the first tip
of the day. Libraries. I've got lots of books and libraries,
so we thought maybe it'd be nice, not maybe, definitely
(09:27):
been an interesting hour to hear from you on your
thoughts on being a parent, because you know, actually, yes,
there are tough times and all that sort of thing,
but actually I think people become parents because there's a
lot more in the positive ledger. We'd love to hear
your stories or thoughts about, you know, what comes to
mind when you're if you were maybe talking to someone
(09:49):
else about what being a parent means. Give us a
call on eight hundred and eighty ten eighty. You can
text on nine two nine two, and I say we'd
love to eve you text, but we'd love to V
calls as well. And John Carn's MC guests. Let's go
to our first caller, Jared, Hi, how's it going all right?
How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
I'm doing very well. Got my two kids the back.
Did you just got my four year old boy and
one year old girl and we've just been at the
park and we had a great time, didn't we. Kids. Yeah, yeah,
that is a strange paradox because it's on the one hand,
(10:29):
the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it's also the
most rewarding and the most joyful at times as well.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
What's the thing that stands out has stood out to
you in the three or four years you've been a dad.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I think they're learning milestones when you know, just when
when something finally clicks for the for them. You know,
I'm a father of a son, and I think, particularly
for my son, when you know, finally understands you know,
what addition is, you know, or the alphabet, or learning
(11:04):
a word, there's just such a moment of right. But
I think also, I mean even more than that, the
character learning developments. So when he can when he really
shows genuine kindness, not out of obligation, not out of
just getting a reward out of something, but genuine kindness
to his sister or to his mum or whatever, that's
(11:29):
a that's a real moment of late. Wow, he's he's learned,
you know, he's learned that from well, from you in
training and well hopefully, I mean, he learns all the
terrible stuff as well.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
But can I just.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Compliment you that you're clever enough to actually note it?
You know, these are the good old days, These are
very special times. And yes you're tired, and yes, the
money goes down the tubes faster than you can learn
it sometimes, but honestly, these really are the wonderful times,
and you're very clever at being able to notice this.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Yeah, hey, were you ready to be a parent?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Are we ever? Really?
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Really?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Really?
Speaker 3 (12:11):
That's a tough question. I wasn't anyways, So.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, I think I was. That it's kind of baptism
by fire, right, Like it's it's kind of just one
of those things you really have to People can tell
you about the struggles and all those kinds, and you
can read all the books about parenting, but it's not
until you really experience it for yourself that's when you
(12:34):
really start to learn. And look, it's the hardest thing
you'll ever do.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
I'm just curious because as a dad, I have a theory,
and anyone can tell me if I'm wrong with this.
I reckon most dads don't really realize that that they're
becoming a dad until the baby pops out, whereas mums
are they're months ahead because they're dealing with the change
in their bodies. And I don't know what instincts kicking in,
but I think dads are generally like I've got suddenly
(13:02):
the baby pops out there, like what the hell?
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely I had that. I had
that real sense, you know, as soon as you know.
The other one is when you're you're driving your baby
home for the first time and you're driving like twenty k's.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Down the road the drivers actually.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
A crasher, or when they wake up in the middle
of the night for the first time and you're whatho's that?
What's that? We have a baby?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Yes, actually, Jared, thank you for reminding me about that
driving That is a really big deal for the dads
because it's the driving the baby home from the you know,
the birthplace or hospital or whatever the first time. Hey,
thanks for your call, mate, because I remember. I remember that.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
I'm sure I was actually.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Because I didn't have any I hadn't had any younger sisters,
younger brothers, younger you know, I was the youngest until
I wasn't until I was a dad, and carrying that capsule. Yeah,
and my wife, you know, obviously saying this is and
the nurses were all like, hey, dad, you've got we've
got it. Here's something for you. And I was like,
do I have to? And caring.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
That was how can they entrust this infant to us?
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Actually literally I just thought that. But this is a
really responsible position to be in.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
I guess I had a little advantage, even though it
was awful at the time, was my wife had to
have an emergency Caesar when our first child was born.
And I think I thought that I was just going
to be sitting back in a sort of a spectator role,
but suddenly I had to be thrust into much more
of a caregiver role than I had planned to because
my wife, you know, couldn't carry you or lift or
(14:40):
do anything like that. And so I was doing a
lot more that I thought I would be. And I'm
just so grateful for that experience of suddenly being fast
forward into being a dad. And it's great.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
It's got an emotional topic when I think of it now,
because the other thing that and look, we'd love you
to share your memories of becoming a parent or the
magical moments where you met, you know, which you would
pass on to other people as being you know, those
moments you wouldn't trade for anything. When my first was born,
the midwife after I think it was day two or
(15:13):
day three or something said not probably the day after
she's born. Actually, she said, right, dad, come here, She said, Okay,
hop up on the bed there. She'd take your shirt
off because I think she just wanted to see my muscles,
just kidding by the way. She said, take your shirt off,
and she put my daughter on me for a cuddle,
(15:37):
skin to skin, and my daughter went to sleep on
my chest and I lay therefore. I don't know how
long it was. That was absolutely bliss. But she knew
that I sort of. She was like, okay, come on, dad, right,
it's time for you. And I'm really grateful she did that.
It was it was a very special moment. So yeah,
that's that's probably my first big memory. Oh wait, one
(16:00):
hundred eighty ten eighty.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
We want your calls.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
We want to hear your stories about just the joy
of being a parent, because you know, the world's full
of negative stories and the things you can worry about.
So give us your thoughts and what you remember about
the good things about being a parent. Twenty three minutes
past five, News Talk said be with Tim Beverage talking
about the magic where it's magic moments of parenting rather
than worrying about everything from X, Y, A Z. And
we're with John Cown taking your calls on your golden
(16:24):
parenting sort of moments. Eight hundred eighty ten eighty Reuben.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
High, Hello, here you go.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Good a good thanks. How are you?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Good good, Yeah. I just wanted to share a positive
recent story of parenting.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (16:42):
Yeah, last night we were we were kids. Kids are
tides the lounge and so we said we could have
a have a movie evening and we yeah, we're we
are five five children. So we all all sat down
and the youngest one wanted to want to you got
a pillow, pillow and blank, you want to lie down
and have a cattle. So it was all good, and
(17:03):
we're watching Milana and and I don't remember, but we
both fell asleep and and and my wife told me
to go to bed, that it's time to go to bed.
And I grunted and rolled over and h and then
she told the youngest three and a half year old,
(17:26):
time for bens. You know, now, I want to stay
with dead.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
It's lovely.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Yeah, it has little moments like that that they and
they could. I just warn you, they slip out of
your memory if you can write it down, write it
down somewhere, because that type of stuff. It's sometimes when
you're arguing with you're a teenager, it's nice to remember
that as a three year old, they wanted to stay
next to you in bed. And that's treasure. It's real treasure.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
What was the movie?
Speaker 3 (17:59):
But actually, funny thing as recently my daughter as are
into and I'm not into Marvel, but one of my
daughters is right into it and she's just dying for
me to watch a Marvel thing and she gave me
an ongoing commentary. But I must say I actually quite
enjoyed it because I was watching it with my daughter.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
Yep, yep, No, that is nice vision. It's good to
enjoy the enjoy the enjoy the moment.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
How many how many kids have you got?
Speaker 5 (18:26):
To?
Speaker 4 (18:26):
Say?
Speaker 6 (18:28):
Five?
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Okay, five and you're still enjoying family life. That's fantastic.
Speaker 6 (18:37):
It's very good.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Well, actually, what would you say to you know when
I mean everyone's sort of when they're thinking about having kids,
if you had a friend asking about having kids, what's
it like? What what advice would you give them to
help them deal with that start of that journey?
Speaker 5 (18:52):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Just actually, thanks mate. I think that that probably a
good good advice for me as well, because you know what,
we sometimes like to try and overthinking things on the
parents squad. But anyway, thanks mate, Let's take some more calls.
We're up to Michael.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Hello, Yeah, get John Egan.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
Not very good.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Mine was, I've got a fucking year old daughter and
she sort of orient should have been struggling with the
CIA exams and sort of stressing around her NCAA stuff,
and uh, sort of last month we if you've got
a diagnose with a bit of dismissia, and so she
had been getting her down. But that's the cool thing
(19:37):
was is that we just found out that she just
managed to pass both those two milestones. And so the
resilience that she's shown and whether it's tasks or whether
it's just yourself, but sort of makes you really proud
of what they can achieve with the right mindset.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Yeah, that's fantastic seeing them achieve. And I'm sure she
senses that you're proud of her and Also it's I
think it's great when p people try to get behind
why kids aren't doing well and to get a sort
of a diagnosis like that so that you can then
get around it and on top of it and over
it and passed. That sort of thing. It can be
(20:16):
such a help good.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Teachers when they all found out that she'd pass, and
obviously they all knew after the tests that what she
was dealing with, all gave her a massive hope because
they were super proud of her as well, and so
it just makes it call when you know the teachers
are back in the students as well sort of thing.
So it's just that nice community feeling.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
In It's quite an emotional thing, isn't it. Those things
they can recatch you.
Speaker 5 (20:41):
Yeah, yep, yep on your mate, that's what it's got.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Yeah, yeah, thanks Michael, I mean yeah, you can even
hear I think there. And it's funny the simple things
like that, isn't it.
Speaker 6 (20:53):
Hey.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
I love the fact that we've had three dads in
a row. Yeah you know who. And this is the
thing that there is a huge renaissance in fatherhood. I reckon,
you don't have to go too fair to find a dad. Dad,
But I think most dads are trying to take it
more seriously. We're still a lot we can still learn.
But so it's wonderful hearing that the idea that they
(21:16):
switched on enough to actually note that these are the
good days.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
It's funny I do some strange hours as a result
of my geg on radio, and look, there's times when
I can be but you know, the overnight radio. I
enjoy that for what it is, but sometimes the hours
can be quite tough. But I remind myself that it's
the hours that I do with that that mean that
after school I can take my kids to ballet. I mean,
I used to pride myself on being the dad who
(21:41):
did better buns than the mums. I'm not sure I
did the best bun, but I liked the ballet buns.
You know that when you put their tie, their hair
up at the back. So I wouldn't talking about baking
or anything. But actually it's funny. Just having that time
to be able to spend, you know, at least find
(22:01):
more time than maybe some other parents have to spend
with your kids, I think is a big deal. The
other one is for me philosophically, the thing about having kids.
Is I say to people, which is this is a
more heavy philosophical bent on things. I might have even
said this to you before, But every time you have
a new child, it's a redemption of every balls up
(22:25):
you've ever made in life, because if it hadn't been
for that journey, that particular child wouldn't be around. And
it's a removal of all regrets for me, even the
bad decisions I made as a young person. I look
back and go, well, if I hadn't done that, I
wouldn't have done X, Y Z and then had this
particular daughter. Is that a bit deep?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
It was far too deep. I drifted off And it
is profound because being a parent, it's almost metaphysical and
its impact on you. And you're steering at this li
infant in a cop thinking, this child is going to
be alive into the twenty second century. You know this
child is you know there's going to be free moments
(23:05):
of me the next century. There's going to be people
with my hay fever and my weak ankles and other
speaks of my genetic legacy. Maybe not maybe maybe they'll
fix it by then, but I mean, you know, just
that sense of heritage and everything. Now, part of that,
I guess comes just from this natural desire to reproduce
and and some people logically can push that aside and
(23:28):
decide not that children and good and but it is
a very natural designer, I think, to want to have kids.
In fact, those kids, those one and six couples that
have difficulty conceiving.
Speaker 7 (23:40):
Well, I'll be anguish as really I'm trying to be.
I'm trying to remember. Before we had kids, I knew
that I'd seen who my parents were and how they
enjoyed having hopefully us, my men, my brothers. But I
didn't feel a strong I didn't feel a really strong
(24:01):
pull to be a dad until and I don't want
to go too much detail, but we had some we
had some disappointments, and it was after one of those
with a miscarriage, and it was after an event which
was I felt something had happened and I felt completely
sort of detached, and I called my mom up about
(24:22):
it and told it and told her and completely lost
it and broke down.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
And I suddenly realized how much I did want to
be a dad. But it wasn't until I thought I
couldn't be that I want you know, it's a funny
old journey. Whereas I think some people have a really
strong drive I can't wait to be a dad and
all this sort of stuff, Whereas you know, the baby
pops out and I'm like, holy hell, what's this? Anyway,
I don't want to overshare myself, but I probably already have. Anyway,
(24:48):
you can give us a call, though, we'd love to
hear from you. Eight hundred and eighty ten eighty. Quite
a few texts on this actually, Hillo. Hello, gents, you're
totally right being a dad the day they show up
versus mum having a lead in like you're playing catch up.
Remember the first time I held my daughter made me
I feel mortal, which was an amazing experience. I love
(25:09):
being a dad, cheers Nate. Actually, the other side of that, John.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Is it.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
I think it stops you worrying about being mortal for me,
because my dad always used to say I used to
ask him, you know, he was an agnostic sort of character,
but he said I used to ask him about how
he felt about, you know, the fact that we live
and we die, and he says, I'm not worried about
knowing at all. And I said, why is that, And
he said, because I've got four sons that I'm proud of,
and you carry a little bit of me and you
(25:36):
and that's enough for me. And I actually thought at
the time, I thought I can't get my head around
that because I wasn't a dad, But now I do. Anyway,
we'll take a quick break. We'd love to have your thoughts.
You're positive. We're talking about just you know, your thoughts
on becoming a parent and some positive stories and the
things that you you know, you wouldn't trade for anything. Oh,
eight hundred and eighty ten eighty text nine two nine two.
(25:58):
I'm with John Cowen and this is the Parent's Squad
a news Talk, said b It's twenty four minutes to six.
News Talk said be with Tim Bever. My guest as
John Cawn. We're just talking about some of the positive
moments of being an apparent. Actually, funnily enough, the most
of the calls have been from dads. All of the
call all actually all of the calls. Should I say
if you're a mum, By the way, it's not mean
to exclude mums, it's just I think I think that
(26:20):
that's because dads are the ones who have the biggest. Now,
by the way, if your a mum listened to this,
don't worry, don't get triggered by me. That's saying that.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
Yeah, I'm just wondering.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
I think they have the most the steepest journey. That
that's a better way of putting it. Mums have a
massive journey. They just deal with it over earlier than
the dads as opposed to you know, I still remember
the medwife as my one of my daughters has been born,
and you know, things were still a while away from happening.
(26:53):
He said, oh, it's a redhead, and I said, how
on earth can you can you tell? Because nothing was there. Yeah,
that was a kind of shock. I thought, Oh, that's right,
we got rid red hair in our genes on both sides.
Here's some text here, love you show today. Parenting for
me has only ever been the greatest thing ever once
(27:14):
all the other pro con fact as a discount of
the innate knowledge that I'm raising the next generation is
fulfilling at a very fundamental level. My four are now
aged ten to fifteen, and I wouldn't trade them for
all the world.
Speaker 7 (27:27):
Wow, that's actually let's get it all over with.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
That's not messing around?
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Is it?
Speaker 6 (27:34):
No?
Speaker 4 (27:34):
Look, I think this is wonderful. The people are clever
enough to realize just how fortunate they are and to
make note of all those good times, because sometimes the
problems can loom too large, and especially if it's compounded
of other issues and problems. But honestly, this is a
big gig that we get entrusted with, this idea of
(27:55):
being a parent, and I just had so much fun
with my kids. My wife got sick of me saying
this is the best stage, as as each of the
kids as well. Kids were growing up and they'd get
to being a toddler or start talking, or start you know,
watching Telly with you getting involved in their music, and
you'd say, oh, this is the best stage. And I
(28:16):
think one of the things I really enjoyed about my
kids was get funny out who they are because they're
not you, and you don't really know what they are.
It's like you've been given a pack of the seeds
with the label off and you plant it and you see,
what have I got off? I've got beans, Oh, I've
got a rose bush, I've got a cabbage.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
There are some really sweet texts coming through, and I'll
read that. Here's just before we go to Kim, who's
holding So we'll be with you in a second. I'll
just read this text out. Hi, John and Tim. I'm
an auntie and help locked after my special little girl
since the day she was born, as we all lived
in the same house. One of my special moments was
when she was aged sex when she made me a
handmade Mother's Day card as I didn't have children of
(28:56):
my own. And I love her dairy daily from Mary
good very sweet.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
Yes, uncles and aunts and special friends. That's such an ally,
such a seat.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
We took my eight year old daughter snorkling on a
coral reef recently. It was pretty chopping on the boat out,
hard to see into the water, and she was nervous
getting in. When we got to the reef, she got
in and after a bit of coaxing, put her face
in the water. The noise that came out of a
snorkel as one of the as the sound I'll never forget.
It was the purest sound of our pure joy. Just brilliant.
And that's from a no name text, but yeah, beautiful
(29:28):
story level. Yeah, and that's what I meant from this
out that I wanted to hear about it. Ah, Steph says,
moms are busy making dinner. That's why dad's are calling. Possibly, Steph,
you've got hands free eight hundred eighty ten eighty Kim.
Speaker 8 (29:44):
Hello, Hey guys, this is nice and nice. Thanks you
talking about this afternoon. I found ring just because you know,
it's been all the dads, so I want to give
you a bit of balance.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
But I don't know.
Speaker 8 (29:56):
I love being pregnant. I can't tell you. I feel
so grateful that I was able to be and I
was able to carry two beautiful kids, and that whole
experience was absolute in mind blowing. And min Tim we've
talked about this before we know each other, but Minor
thirteen and fifteen now, but I can still remember carrying
them and actually giving birth to them, and for me
(30:18):
it was all I was lucky. It was a really
positive experience. But that was incredible. But it's just watching
those different stages and learning, like I don't think I've
ever learnt as much about myself and helping to be
helping me to be the best parent I can be
in supporting them, and that's just mind blowing in itself.
Is just and watching how that goes together, you know,
(30:41):
and how that helps them and how that that being
manifitan and the way they behave and they are, and
you know, and watching that those personalities come.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Out, it's just did you have the same observation about
the father of the children and being not quite getting
it until it all happened? Because you were talking about
the pregnancy of the journey you went on, it's and
that's actually at a nine month head because some people
have troublesome pregnancies as well. Do you do you just
remember all the good bits that might be oxytocin By
(31:11):
the way, Yeah.
Speaker 8 (31:13):
Absolutely, I love those Mormons. God bring them back. They
were amazing.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I think so.
Speaker 8 (31:22):
And I was actually just listening to a podcast. I've
been driving from Haks Way back to Auckland, and it
was just talking about how a woman's brain changes right
through life from a neutro right through to you know,
posting unipoors kind of thing, and just what happens during pregnancy,
and I was like, you know, it's quite amazing looking
back on that and going, you know, what actually is
happening to us at that time as well, not just
(31:42):
about growing this child, but the way our brain is
rewiring in order to be able to take care of
that little human. And so yeah, you do, obviously you
get you kind of are more prepared. I think my
husband was. He was so my son just decided he
didn't want to come out. He was taking his good time.
So my husband was watching I think it was thirty
Rock and he was just standing in the corner of
(32:04):
the booth the unit going, you know, I can't be
bothered with us, so I'm just all of a sudden,
it also happened, so you know, and he's a great
dad and and what what is lovely as actually going
from that? You know, they're really dependent on you. They're
really attached to you, all of that sort of stuff.
And at this age, Tim you might be finding it
now with the girls, but it is that they start
(32:26):
needing their dad more.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Both of them.
Speaker 8 (32:27):
I've got a boy and a girl, so you know,
and they both there's a new renewal of that relationship.
And that's kind of really lovely to watch as well,
because I didn't have a I don't have a great
relationship with my dad, but it's really nice seeing my
kids have that, so you know, just it's the joy
and seeing that and there and they're laughter and the
(32:48):
things that they're you know that they find funny and
the things that we're so uncool that we try to
be and you know, like it's just it's just really fun.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Look. Look comes and nice to hear from you too.
It's actually, you know, you've just reminded me of the
lucky you know that the bond that dads and daughters have,
and that's how they're actually a memory that I'll never
forget because I come from a family of boys. There
all the all the kids have been born and sort
of in the in the beverages. Until my daughters were born,
(33:19):
it was just all boys. There were no no girls.
And I remember calling my mum to say, you know,
you've got a daughter, a granddaughter, a granddaughter, and she
was just her reaction to that, she was over the moon.
Speaker 8 (33:32):
Yeah, that's really cool, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Just quickly so you enjoyed your pregnancy? What was it
actually like just that moment you know, there's one thing
to be carrying a child, then the child's born. What
what do you remember about the first time you saw
the It's like there's a song about it. I think
the first time ever I saw your Facebook.
Speaker 8 (33:50):
I think, yeah, it's just well, I don't know, did
you feel it. It's like, I don't know, it's just overwhelming, it's.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Quite it's just awesome.
Speaker 8 (33:58):
I suppose it's just awesome. But then there's also that
having them on the inside, just on the outside. I
was a very I can't remember what the words called
attachment style parents. So my kids slept on my chest
until they were about three months old. You know, we're
all well propped up and well kidful, but so I
(34:18):
think I really found it. They'd been inside me for
so long and that feeling was quite incredible. That then
having them on the outside, there was almost that that
grieving and letting go of that part. And maybe that's
what we do a little bit with every milestone. I
feel like, is that you go, oh my god, it's
so nick that they're walking now, but they're never going
to crawl again, you know, like it's that's gone. And
(34:41):
so it's probably that's when it starts, right, you know,
they were in, now they're out, and that's the first
part stone.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
And then.
Speaker 8 (34:50):
My daughter just turned thirteen and my son is the.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
Seen Oh god, okay, yes exactly, you know.
Speaker 8 (34:57):
You're the girl. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, nice.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Thank you so much for you.
Speaker 8 (35:02):
You will see soon, Okay, bye.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
Actually, I forgot the first most strident memory I've got
strident whatever, it is beautiful memory and it is definitely
the big one for me was watching my wife become
a mum. And I don't mean in the act of birth.
I meant from the baby coming out to her, greeting
the baby and suddenly talking to it and saying hello,
(35:28):
and just instantly and suddenly she was a mother. That
was the best thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
I think.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Anyway, I thought to share that with you. We're gonna
have to wrap it. Well, we'll see if we might
squeeze another text in, but we're going to be rapping
sport briefly in just a moment. It is eleven and
a half minutes. Sex News Talk said, be. The News
Talk said, be. Actually that does wrap the parents squad,
And I just wanted to say I loved some of
those stories and thank you all for your calls and
some beautiful there's actually some really gorgeous texts here about
(35:56):
being a parent and it's actually quite moving to read them.
So thank you for sharing those stories. And also big
thanks to John Cowen for John and me.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
John, it was a privilege I loved in those stories.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
Well, yes it was, wasn't it? And paid by the
way Real Life seven thirty Tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (36:09):
Night with Nadia Limb Nattier Limb. We got a new
TV series And yeah, he's the only person I've ever
interviewed four times.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
So it's just because you want a copy of her
box or something.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
It's because she must be the most interesting person in
New Zealand.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
I guess, well possibly possibly, Okay, I was going to
say something vain and sort of silly you again. Actually,
there is someone who does a bit of hosting still
on News Talk said B who is keeping a tally
about whether he can get on with John Cown again.
Like park It, I hear it seven minutes to Say.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen live to News
Talk said Be weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!