November 8, 2025 • 35 mins
We're on the brink of exam season and a lot of families are feeling the pressure.
As parents we can prepare our kids to study as much as we want, but there are other areas they will need support in.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks EDB.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
News. It's Conducia say and talk at the bar or
by our sol but I'm sure for.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Some yes, welcome back, Welcome in if you've just joined
us this Weekend Collective. This is the Parent Squad where
we talk about well all sorts of issues to do
with parenting. But what we're going to dig into this afternoon, well, actually,
should I say just before we we do get into that.
Don't forget that not long before six o'clock we also
(00:56):
do our sports rap sports rap. We will be talking
with News Talks B sports reporter Kobe Murrati about the
Do I just roll his urs as if he really
is Italian Marati? He'll tell me how to's that Morati?
Maybe I need to seller that it is an Italian name.
Might produce a tires looking at me like I've lost
the plot. But I do say restaurant instead of restaurant,
(01:16):
So anyway, I'll dig into that. What a digression from me.
I can't even get the intro out of the way,
can I. Anyway, we're going to be talking with Kobe
first name only about the looking forward to the Phoenix
versus afs Auckland f C, which is going to be
a great local derby kicking off later on later on today,
or should I out early this evening and looking forward
(01:37):
to the All Blacks versus Scotland, which I think the
kickoffs around four am, so we'll be all watching that
on delay, won't we But anyway we'll be having a
chat with him in anticipation of those. But right now
it's the Parents Squad where we discuss all things parenting.
We want you to join us with your thoughts, your
comments and maybe your experience on eight hundred eighty ten
eighty text nine two ninety two and today we're talking exams,
(02:00):
so a lot of parents are also coping with the
pressure that their kids might be feeling the pressure, whether
it's their first exam, first time, they've got a bit
of NCA or the cambridge to sit and maybe they've
had a few warm ups and they're thinking, oh, I
get them getting a bit panic because the real thing
is quite different. Or maybe they're sitting there finally in
CEA where the results really dictate maybe whether they're going
(02:24):
to be successful at getting into that course in that
career that they want to pursue. So there's only so
much as parents you can do. But what can you
do to help your kids deal with stress? So want
your calls. I eight one hundred and eighty ten eighty
and joining us to help us through this. She's a
psychologist at Mind Works and her name is Sarah Chapwin.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Hello Sarah.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
By the way, before we get into it, yeah, I
mean it's now. I've just looked out the window. It
looks a bit gray, but there is something about the weather.
I'm not sure how it's been throughout the whole country,
but this beautiful settle weather after some pretty bloody awful stuff,
isn't it one?
Speaker 4 (03:03):
They've been a really nice time, and I think it's
just this is summer. We're on the way, lovely time
to get out in the gardens. In fact, in the gardens, yesh,
the garden lots, and I'm talking about the gardens that
you might walk past on you DA to your neighborhood
and your community. Because I had this lovely, this lovely
thought about kids with exams and the lead up to exams,
(03:26):
trying to get some really wholesome time and green space
and to try and get those anxiety levels down pre exam.
And of course we had National Gardening Week October twentieth
to twenty seventh, so we've missed it. Yates put on
a fantastic kind of gardening Week for New Zealand and
it was really cool. I'm not a green finger at all.
(03:48):
I mean, I'm pretty hopeless in the garden, but it
was so lovely to see the theme of Gardening Week
was communities in bloom and it was people getting out
in the gardens, getting away from social media, digital detox,
zen time and it was just lovely. And I'm thinking
about kids and exams, and I'm thinking it would have
(04:08):
been quite nice to have had some of those beautiful
times where you just say to your children, Okay, you've
got some pretty I think you know.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
What, if we decided that we weren't going to do
the parents Squad, I think we'd have to rename this
out of the Gardening Squad. We'd still be a geek
for you.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I'll tell you what. I'm no great shakes in the garden,
but i tell you it was a beautiful way to
focus on something that was connecting people instead of being
on devices and being under stress. And I'm thinking that
for kids going into exams. As parents, you almost need
to look at this time, put it in your diary
and two weeks or a month pre exam, get kids
(04:47):
to be doing stuff that really allows them the opportunity
to do stress and debriefing and just feel good about
themselves before they go into a time of great stress.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Well, actually, I think what you've focused on is, while
when we're talking about exam stress and preparation is one
of the it's sort of obvious, but it isn't obvious
to kids. I shouldn't say kids all the time, to
young people.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Who are studying, the youth of New Zealand, yes.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
The youth of New Zealand, but the importance when they
are studying to get out and smell the roses, go
for a walk, just exactly, have regular breaks.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Energy activity, go for a walk, disconnect from the learning.
You know, the intensity of learning and studying. Just take
a break, give your body, give your mind a rest. Absolutely.
And also it was really nice in that week and
the National Gardening Week. I didn't even know about it
until this year and it's ten years old.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Oh, we really are going to do the gardenings?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Do you know what? It's something so different for me,
and when I got involved with it, I was like,
this is such a neat way of totally destressing. And
I think because of devices and the digital landscape and
social media, we are so passive in our approach to
a lot of things. But when kids are studying, absolutely
getting out, being active, taking regular breaks to allow them
(06:08):
to get stuff back on track.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
On the topic of exams, I just have to read
this first text that's coming. I'm a twelve year I'm
a year twelve student who listens to news talks they'd
be regularly go figure anyway, hang on, it says anyway,
I've already had half my exams, but I'm not at
all bothered at the outcomers. I've already passed the year
at excellence. My recommendation is to work hard throughout the
year and take only the classes you can manage, says Harry.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
That's great advice. I mean, work hard during the year
and as an excellent student, Harry. Harry is at the
top of his game, and that's why he listens to
news to exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
There you go, Harry. I'm not sure because for some
that sort of are in the middle just beginning. One
of my daughters. My younger daughters have had theirs because
I think they sit there while she's got school camp.
That's why they've had their exams, et cetera. But she's
not in the NCAA thing. Yes, what do you remember
your exams when you.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
Were I was terribly nervous about exams and I did
a lot of exams because not only did I go
through the school exams, I went on to do two
university degrees and a postgrad diploma. So there were a
lot of exams in my life, and I did get nervous.
It was a you know, a three hour stint of
pure focus. And I do remember though that I had,
(07:23):
you know, parents who were very encouraging in terms of, okay,
get a timetable sorted out so that you have a
bit of fun and a bit of play and a
bit of outside time and you are committing to a
programmer study. So it was quite nice to have a
certain study structure that allowed for breaks and for activity
and for sport and exercise and downtime as well as
(07:46):
you know, chunks of study time.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
What are the is it the study? What's the hardest
part for you about exams? Was it about preparing for them,
because I mean there.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Is there's a lot of information that you have to
cover to be able to you know, produce that under
conditions that are quite stressful. So I found that all
the information in a semester or in a year was
it was a lot. It's a lot, and yeah, I
found it pretty hectic. But if I stuck to a
(08:16):
quite a structure. You know, you get up at say
eight am on a Saturday, you study until ten, you
take a break until ten forty five, you go back
at it until twelve thirty, and then you have a
couple of hours off. But it has to be a
study structure that works for you. There's no point constructing
a study structure that doesn't work for you or makes
you feel uncomfortable. That's all wrong. It doesn't actually promote good,
(08:41):
healthy learning. So you have to I think it takes
time to do a bit of a plan. And you
know what I've said to you before, but you don't
remember this, but you should. You can achieve anything in
life with a plan.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
No, I don't remember that one.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Oh thanks Tim.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
No, hey, what in terms of the way the human
brain works best for studying because obviously kids, I don't know,
not obviously anything really, but I can't when I was
looking back when I used to study is to just
to be honest, I probably did the bare minimum. I
mean I was reasonably Okay, are you trying.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
To tell our listeners you were just that smart?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
No, that's what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
But I did left everything till last minute, okay. And
maybe it was the way that my brain could could
hang on to short term information so I could stuff
it fall and then I.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Mean a week and the just regurgitate it in there.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
No, but probably I think my understanding is that you're
better to study in what is it twenty minutes sort
of what's the optimum period. There's a point where your
brain start it works really efficiently, and it's sort of
ever decreasing returns as well.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Right, Well, I do know that when I've designed my
sessions for clients, we don't go too much over a
forty five minute talking mark because that's a lot of
chitta chat to absorb. And then so my sessions are
forty five minutes and then you have a five or
seventy ten minute Q and A at the end. I
think there is definitely that twenty to forty five minute
(10:08):
time frame where you are absorbing information positively, and I
think after an hour or certainly after an hour and
a half, you may feel a little bit flat or stale. However,
the basics that we really need to point out at
the beginning of this kind of a conversation is that
you know, kids, youth, teens, exam sitters need to hydrate.
(10:30):
They need to manage their nutrition so that they're feeding
that brain and hydrating that brain. But also key point sleep.
This isn't time for parties, and most kids youth probably
will save the going out and having an enormous amount
of funct to la after exams. But I mean, you
need sleep, You need healthy nutrition and great hydration. So sleep, nutrition,
(10:52):
hydration to begin with, that's the physiological stuff that really
promotes that great brain work.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Are there ways you can train yourself to deal with
the stress of exams better, so, I mean, preparation is
one thing, so you can get kids who perform well
throughout the year. And the internal assessment thing. I mean,
I guess AI has made that all a bit more
up in the air about what the future of that is.
But you know, the kids may be very good studies
and they're good students, they like what they're studying. But
(11:20):
then they get into the exam room. I mean, I
would have thought, I imagine that one of the biggest
enemies is simply that stress of in the moment of like,
oh my god, I've got yes, I've got it. And
well there would be kids who would panic as well
and just stare at the paper and can't get their
heads around it. I mean, are they coping techniques and
with that?
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Okay, so we'll start firstly with the plan and we
won't go on too long about it. But the plan
is something that is really nice to have because a
plan gives you confidence. It also gives you direction. It
also gives you that lovely feeling of yes, I have worked,
I have done my best, I have covered a lot
of ground. So a plan is lovely because it gives
(11:58):
you all of that.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
What's nice. I plan to get everything right, or I plan.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
To know I plan to cover these topics. I think
that you know, there's you. You kind of make some
predictions and then you work around it, you plot things out.
Your teachers have generally, I mean, teachers are fantastic in
terms of the direction that they give kids and then they,
you know, send them on their way with a bit
of a pre plan if you like, and some mechanisms
(12:23):
to get things sorted because there's a lot of information.
You need to sort it, you need to put it
into categories. But if you have a plan, and if
you've enacted that plan and followed through, you have that
lovely sense of support, You have that lovely feeling of
security that you've done a lot.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Of work, and that are you talking about all the
stuff you do before you go.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Okay, before we get into the room. Okay, but mock exams.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
But once you're in the room, okay, but let could
all go out the window.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
Okay, but hang on, you're rushing me here, tim you're
rushing set put your on you just relax. But before
we get into the room, we've done some mock exams,
so they have definitely replicated the approach, and they've replicated
the factors and all of the bits and bobs in
(13:10):
and around exam. So mock exams are great because, whilst
they don't mean too much, they give students an indication
of what things are going to be like. So to
a certain degree, I would think that students today go
into exams, the real exams, the ones that are more
meaningful than others, having gone through the mock process, which
(13:30):
which kind of primes them to understand how an exam
rolls out.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Because Yeah, somebody was talking to me before the show
about asking you about how much of a role teachers
can well, I mean, I think the obvious answer is obvious,
but how much of a role a good teacher can
play in training kids to deal with exams, you know,
in techniques or and what to expect. But I mean
that is a teacher's job to prepare to educate kids,
(13:56):
but also especially when it comes to those big exams, And.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
I think so many teachers do a fantastic job. And
I think that even with them, the general and very
I mean predictable anxiety that kids have in and around
these events, they probably their anxiety levels are reduced because
teachers have done ostellar job in prepping them and also
(14:21):
saying at the beginning of a year, hey, listen, let's
get some good work done throughout the years that chap
Harry said, so that the exams are just another step
forward in terms of your educational will come.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
What is the psychology around panicking? Are there particular precursors that. So,
for the reason I'm asking it is that it sounds
like if you really do the preparation and the mock
exams and all those sorts of things, then there's far
less chants of panicking or is the panickings? Are some
(14:54):
people inclined to just panic because it doesn't matter how
much prep they've done, This is the moment, and you
know they just get fixated on on the stress of
the whole.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Well, we're all very different, aren't we.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
It's just wonding why people panic? What is the psychology around?
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Okay, So, firstly, there could be a genetic predisposition for
being wired that way, and that you actually come from
an environment, a family environment, where perhaps there are pressures
and stresses put on you that make you feel that
these are more that exams are more important than perhaps
(15:33):
other family environments make other children feel. I mean, so
there are genetic factors, there are environmental factors, and then
you know, there are kids that are prepared beautifully by
the schools, by the teachers, and by their family environments
for this event. So perhaps they don't feel quite as
much panic as a child that perhaps has not been sleeping,
(15:53):
not been hydrating. Mom and dad areuntavailable so much for
a chitter chat around this stuff. They haven't listened to teachers,
they've opted out, so you know, a couple of days
before they think, oh, heck, am I ready? Have I
got a plan? Well? Maybe the answers no. Well, of
course that can be very panic inducing. So I think
again we go back to, you know, putting effort in
(16:18):
all throughout, you know, throughout the year. As the chap
Harry commented, I mean, look at the outcome that he's got.
Now he's not at all worried about exams because, as
he said, he has worked solidly throughout the year. Okay,
kids don't necessarily do that, but we're all very different.
So panic comes from a lot of different places.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Okay, let's take some calls on hundred and eighty, ten
and eighty, How did you cut with how would you
help young people deal with exam stress and all that
sort of thing? And I mean it does feel that
generally the more prep you can do and mock exams
and all that sort of thing, the better prepared you're
going to be. And otherwise you are leasing it up,
leaving it more up to a flight or fight. Or
flight response Sandy, Hello.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
Oh hi. My exams are like well over twenty years
ago now, But my plan going into them as always
to go through the entire book first and then answer
all the questions I was confident of doing, and it
kind of gets you into the rhythm and the mood.
And then at some point sometimes I'd be I feel
(17:20):
like I'd done enough to pass the exam, and it
just took the pressure off coming back to try and
answer the ones that I wasn't so sure of, because
I knew that even if I didn't complete them or
get it right, I'd probably already passed well enough. But
I think like it would be a shame of some
children just kind of went through page by page and
he took ages on the ones they weren't sure of
and didn't turn the page to do, you know, some
(17:42):
of the questions they could do. So like it was
always good to just go through and dons.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
A strategic approach, so you you had a stratego yeah.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
Yeah, and it worked out well. And I just think that,
you know, you don't want people to get into that
right and you know, flight to flight and they just
get stuck on a question and not move forward. It's
just it's key to just keep moving.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
I mean, actually that's probably that is really good pragmatic advice,
isn't it. So if you're struggling with something, it's like,
we'll move on to the next one and come back
to it and get a few runs on the board.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
But these are things that you probably work out pre exam.
As the caller just said, she had a plan that,
you know, she would go through the book and she
would make sure that she totally understood the stuff that
she was comfortable with, and then the stuff that perhaps
didn't come so freely, you know, she might go over
that and come back to it. So there was a
bit of a strategy, a plan. I love it. And
(18:35):
also she was comfortable doing that. That felt right for
her and it worked for her.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Yeah, how long ago since you did you exam? Sandy?
Speaker 5 (18:44):
Oh, it's yeah, close to twenty five?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Are laughing, Yeah, just case to twenty five. I know
we could have been days, might have been months, weeks
or something.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Years.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Have you had kids, Have you got kids who've gone
through exams or anything or not yet there in the Okay,
so that's coming, So they're not actually they doing sort
of pre NCA. Do they still have sort of tests?
I mean they call it tests at school, really don't
they until it becomes exams? But have they have they.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
Been hear intermediate not?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Oh god, I know, no worries.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Okay, they can come to you for some good advice, Sandy, soo.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Hey, thanks, thank you, Sandy. Actually, I do think a
lot of it is down to the how much of
it's down to the luck of the draw with schools
you get, because there are some schools where the teachers
have got you know, the school has got experience of
building up that that sort of that flywheel of momentum
of studying and tests when you're I mean, my my
(19:51):
twelve year olds had They don't call it exams because
I don't know when they call it exams when it's external.
I guess when they get into their seni years. But
they've got tests for this and tests for that. And
I have the sense that really the reason that some
schools have a fan tastic pass rate is because they've
got they've got that sort of method methodology settled as
(20:13):
to how to best educate kids and get that momentum
going for them. So when they finally at the big
exams the cars already, Yes.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
They're they're in the kind of flow. They've got a
flow going which is really lovely. But I think it's
interesting because I think teachers everywhere try their very best
to do their best for children, and sometimes, as Sandy said,
kids are not necessarily listening because you know, we've got
a lot going on with these with youth today in
terms of when they're sitting in exams, what's going on
(20:41):
for them with regard to their age and their stage.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
And so what is it that goes on with some
schools that just nail it with you? Can you look
at the there are certain schools if you look at
their achievement rates, and they're not all the private. Okay,
there is a fair bit of private schools. You know,
quite a number of private schools. But there are some
schools that just consistently feature in the top academic performance. So, yeah,
(21:04):
and every nature cares, but there must be something that
goes beyond just each individual teacher where there's a culture
of I don't know how to say this without but
there are some schools that do it way better than others.
And why is that?
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Well, I think there's a bit of personality that in
terms of leadership.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Often those expectations.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Those great results come from the who's at the helm
and the culture that they create within the school. But
of course competition and expectation can creep in there too,
and you know, students can feel rightly or wrongly because
it can be right and it can be very wrong
that they need to keep up to a certain level
because they are part of this group, and often that
(21:47):
is reflected in great grades or not. So, you know,
So there's a lot of factors. But I would say
skilled teachers, motivated leaders, great leadership style, inclusive cultures and
environments where you know, growth minds, it is fostered and
people feel valued and like they want to be on
(22:10):
that that convey a belt you know of forward moving
positive educational outcomes. So there's I would say, again, there's
a multiplicity effectors that come into success, and probably a
multiplicity that add up to a school that's not doing
so well, you know, high student absenteism, teachers that are
(22:30):
very very frustrated with you know, complex, it is totally,
it's a very complex equation probably the way.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah, well I love your cause on this though, but
what is the success? What is the secret to exam
success for kids. I mean, we started off talking about
avoiding that panic of course in the stress, and it
does seem that a lot of it boils down to
you know, experience and in fact, intuitively, anything you do
in life, the more you do it, the more you
do it and you practice practice, you remove the lifelihood
(23:00):
of anxiety. Familiar.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Yeah, But the other thing is parents can also join
the conversation and coach their children through that anxiety a
little bit. Pre I believe, to be fair, there will
always be a percentage great or small of youth that
feel very anxious and panicky about exams. Parents can also,
you know, take the lead and say, hey, listen, this
(23:25):
is what it's going to be like. You know, you're
going to be sitting there for a long time and
it is quite intense. But remember that, you know, if
you do the work and this is a conversation, you
would have a couple of months out or you know,
with a generous margin out from the exam and you
can talk to your kids about them and say, hey, listen,
if you feel anxious and if you're panicking a bit,
(23:46):
that's quite normal, but you don't have to let that
get to you. And then another key tip would be
as you are studying, remember to take those breaks, Remember
to exercise, Remember to fuel your body, which fuels your brain.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Right, we'd like your cause on this eight one hundred
and eighty ten eighty. If we've got time, we might
have a bit of a chat about people who are
over share as parents online. That's one of the things
we've also got slated for conversation. But when it comes
to exam success, what do you think the secret is
to helping your child succeed with their exams? But also,
I mean, does it boil down to as well if
(24:22):
you have the luxury of school choice, Because why does
some schools simply just consistently do better when it comes
to academic results. Is it is socioeconomic thing? Is it
something that the school's doing in terms of the methodology
that they've built up over the years where they just
have a really strong culture of knowing what they're doing
and setting your kids up for exam success. I don't know,
(24:43):
I waight one hundred and eighty ten eighty text nine
two nine two. We'll be back in just a moment.
It's oh goodness, may I've left that break a bit late?
It's twenty nine minutes to six. Yes, News Talk said
be and we're talking about exams. Look, actually, I mean
it is where the kids are right in the throws.
I found myself looking up on what the actual timetable
was for the New Zealand Qualifications Authority and so look
(25:06):
like they kicked off on Tuesday. So kids are right kids.
I've got to stop saying kids done us, Sarah. Young
people are in the throes of doing their exams right now,
and it does look at not that we're ever going
to come up with the answer to the meaning of life,
because there is always the choice of schools, and some
schools do better at exams. But what do you actually Sarah,
Sara chat one, sorry, thank you?
Speaker 1 (25:27):
What are you?
Speaker 4 (25:29):
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (25:29):
What do you think the What do you think the
schools that do have that success really have going for
them when it comes to academic success. Is it because
there's great leadership at the top?
Speaker 4 (25:40):
I think that absolutely at the school. Absolutely, if you
start with a great leader who promotes a really positive
culture where students feel heard and seen and valued, then
they're more likely to buy into the process as the
rules and regulations. If you have schools that are under
control and that are not running riot and rampant with
(26:02):
you know, students misbehaving. Of course, I believe you'll see
some really good results because kids are focused on learning
and work and not on all these other distractions outside.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
How much should I guess? The question for parents is
how much involvement should you have in your child's preparation
for exams? Because I have the sense that you know
you want them to be making good decisions, But I
don't know if you can even nag a child into
(26:35):
your kid.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
I wouldn't start nagging.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
No, I don't mean, but you know what I mean?
How much? How much influence can you really have if
you're worried that they are taking I mean, you see them,
they take they do ten minutes of study. In the
next minute, they're on their social media for half an hour.
How hard and how hard should you push your kids
from your angle as a parent to be doing their study,
Because it's a bit like you can lead a horse
(26:58):
to water, but you can't make it drink. How do
you actually I mean, do you have to just let them?
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
I don't know. No, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:06):
You do your due diligence I mean, first up, they
start their study program. And if you are seeing your
child do ten minutes stints with huge intervals of social
media and connecting on Instagram and all the rest of it,
well you've got to have a chat about that. You
can check in with your kids. I mean, you are
the parent. That's your job, and you know, so you
check in with your kids and say, Okay, hey, just
(27:27):
wondering kind of what's going on here? Well I'm doing
ten minutes and on my Instagram. Okay, what about you
do thirty minutes and then you have a couple of minutes,
and then maybe you do two lots of thirty minutes,
and then you take a break, you walk outside. I
necessarily need your phone with you all the time. I mean,
these are things that parents need to talk to their
children about. And quite frankly, with regard to revision of work,
(27:51):
your child can step away from the device. That's not
too much to ask. We're parents also, But I'm.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Thinking, so I haven't gone through that with my kids yet.
I mean we've got well we're going through the early
stages where they're doing sort of what is it in
z QA fre n CEA before.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
But.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
I sort of feel that again, it sort of ties
into that the work you do beforehand. By the time
they get to those exams, I don't really want to
be looking over their shoulder to see what they're doing.
And I'm not going to be honest, no, I won't, shouldn't,
but I won't be doing that, so I won't actually
know if they're taking too much time to check their messages.
All I'll be doing is maybe every hour or two
(28:32):
going how have you got on with that? You know,
what have you covered? Are you feeling okay with it?
And if they give me some vague answer, then that
might be yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
But you know that something's going on if they're in
their room for a couple of hours and you say, hey,
how are you going? Because it's great for parents to
check in. Little chickens like that are very valuable. You
can gain a whole lot of information from the uttering
of a very few words, how are you going? And
if they are not, if it's nebulous, if they are
(29:01):
not able to give you some content, it indicates that
they're working. Then you need to be a little bit worried.
And then you sit down and maybe you know, help
them with a plan. But I would suggest that parents
start at the beginning of a year in terms of
helping to support their children through the educational process for
the year. Why would you start in November or October?
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Actually, I mean, that's that's bang on, isn't it. Isn't
it funny that I mean? I always no, But I
always think with the most parenting issues that if we
started earlier, well, it's easier said than done, because everyone
has busy lives and all sorts of things. But and
I found myself quoting that guy in Grant, he founded
the Parenting Place, who used to say that, you know,
(29:44):
you engage with your children early in life, and then
by the time that they're teenagers and they're telling you
to get stuff, you've earned that right to His expression
was speaking to their lives.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Well, that's also I think also if we use a
bit of more you know, modern modern speak, being accessible
to you children and being there to support and guide
as a parent helps in that whole process of earning
their respect along the parenting journey and along their growth journey.
(30:16):
So if you are available, if you are accessible, if
you are interested, those are three key words in terms
of being able to relate to your children. All the
way through and help out at exam time, because I.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Mean, I've just written down really here that you know,
you've talked about kids cramming for an exam. The one
thing you can't really do as a parent.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
And if you are, is cram your parenting. No, but
you can't.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
That's the whole point. So if the end of the
year comes around and all of a sudden you become
this parent who's uptight about your child's results, then to
you probably need to look in the mirror and think, well,
what was my involvement with their work during the whole course.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Of the year.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Actually, that's which sounds very judgmental, doesn't it.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
No, No, no, that sounds like a really good exercise.
So any parent out there struggling with getting their children
to commit to exam learning should probably just take a
moment to reflect and think, Okay, did I set it
up right as a parent from the beginning of the
year or you know two.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
What's then, isn't it? You're just going to make sure
you don't pay.
Speaker 4 (31:14):
It's not too late for next year, Okay, Because really,
at the beginning of every year as a parent, you go, okay,
I've got these kids what do they need from me?
What will they need from me? Let's look, let's future
cast and that ensures that there's some buy in from
your child if they know that your supportive and that
you're all over it with them.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Right, We're going to take a break. We'll be back
in just to take It's nineteen and a half minutes
to six. Yes, so welcome back, and I forget. We're
talking with Kobe Mrity soon about the upcoming game between
Auckland f C and the Phoenix, as well as the
All Black Test against Scotland and the wee small hours
of the morning. We're talking about exam stress and actually
in the break, Sarah Chapman and I who's my guest
from mind works today, I was thinking about back to
(31:54):
my own exam time, and there's a moral to what
I'm going to say is I don't really remember enjoying
studying much for exams because I didn't really enjoy the
exams are studying for ok there, course subjects English was okay.
Actually I had some you know English, I quite enjoyed
English in the latter parts. But it just reminds me,
(32:16):
I think it's so important for you, not you Sarah
but you, as in parents, to really encourage your kids
to study stuff that excites them. And that's a massive
part of.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
The journey, I think, and it can make the educational
process for a child so much easier if they're engaged
because they actually like the subject. But as you mentioned,
there's a few subjects that you have to do well,
the science that the Mass and the English to begin with.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
And that's where a gifted teacher can make something that's right.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
You know, they can make it sing, they can make
it come alive for the child. So you are a
little dependent on teachers and all the rest of it.
But you certainly hit it when you said, we need
to do a lot more of what we enjoy and
not what we think people expect of us, and we
need to perhaps think about jobs that and vocations that
allow us to experience life a.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Happy letting kids, letting your children just choose what they
think are about the easy subjects, but finding things that
For instance, one of my daughters is making it look
actually I think her choices are fine, but she's made
a couple of choices we weren't expecting, and there was
one of them we thought, oh, I'm not sure is
that really what you should be doing. And then my
wife and I talked about and thought, you know, she
(33:27):
really wants to do it, she's excited about it. Good choice.
And then as soon as you embrace that, that then
she feels good about the choices she's making and she's
happy and all of a sudden, because I think that's
one of the worst things is if you are one
of those kids. And when we talked about it with
the kids who leave school early because school's just not
for them. Yes, but if you can find something that
(33:47):
lights your fire, then than half of the job's done,
isn't it.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
But interestingly, if there is a subject that your child
has to do but doesn't like, a teacher can make
a difference or a parent can make a difference by saying, hey, listen,
I didn't necessarily like that subject either, but it is helpful,
and you know, you can do this and this, and
then you can look at this profession sometimes trying to
light that fire.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
A little bit funny. When I did law, there was
a subject I hated. I hated constitutional law, and because
I hated it, though, I thought I needed to conquer
my demon, so I chose to do advanced.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
Public law your a little opposition of that funny.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
I tell you, I don't know what the psychology is this,
but it was the best mark I ever got at university.
Of course I was angry with it. I thought I'm
going to beat you.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
You it was your adversary, and you took it on
and you won the fight. You won the battle right.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Although during the exam there was a guy there who
had a PhD in classical Greek, is a very bright guy,
and the exam they had set accidentally they made it
too hard, and I knew we were in trouble when
he looked up from his paper and looked around the
room to catch our eyes, like, oh my god, this
is really hard.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
That can be so destroying when you see that.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
Anyway, look we digress, but hey, it's great to chat
with you about this stuff. Chat with you and if
people want to catch get some up from our psychological
point of view.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Mind works dot cot on ye send me an email.
Shrink at mind Works, Jock code Doren shrink at mind Works.
I'm a register psychologist, so yeah, reach out if you
have any questions queries. And I always get some lovely
inquiries from the show tim and they also say how
lovely you are and very laddy.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
We'll get flattery, We'll get you everywhere. Hey, we'll be
back shortly. Nice to see us, sar uh, we'll be
backly with quickly with the shortly should I say? With
the Kobe Murati for the Sports Rap In just a moment,
it's twelve minutes to six.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen live to news
Talk z BE weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks EDB.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
News. It's Conducia say and talk at the bar or
by our sol but I'm sure for.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Some yes, welcome back, Welcome in if you've just joined
us this Weekend Collective. This is the Parent Squad where
we talk about well all sorts of issues to do
with parenting. But what we're going to dig into this afternoon, well, actually,
should I say just before we we do get into that.
Don't forget that not long before six o'clock we also
(00:56):
do our sports rap sports rap. We will be talking
with News Talks B sports reporter Kobe Murrati about the
Do I just roll his urs as if he really
is Italian Marati? He'll tell me how to's that Morati?
Maybe I need to seller that it is an Italian name.
Might produce a tires looking at me like I've lost
the plot. But I do say restaurant instead of restaurant,
(01:16):
So anyway, I'll dig into that. What a digression from me.
I can't even get the intro out of the way,
can I. Anyway, we're going to be talking with Kobe
first name only about the looking forward to the Phoenix
versus afs Auckland f C, which is going to be
a great local derby kicking off later on later on today,
or should I out early this evening and looking forward
(01:37):
to the All Blacks versus Scotland, which I think the
kickoffs around four am, so we'll be all watching that
on delay, won't we But anyway we'll be having a
chat with him in anticipation of those. But right now
it's the Parents Squad where we discuss all things parenting.
We want you to join us with your thoughts, your
comments and maybe your experience on eight hundred eighty ten
eighty text nine two ninety two and today we're talking exams,
(02:00):
so a lot of parents are also coping with the
pressure that their kids might be feeling the pressure, whether
it's their first exam, first time, they've got a bit
of NCA or the cambridge to sit and maybe they've
had a few warm ups and they're thinking, oh, I
get them getting a bit panic because the real thing
is quite different. Or maybe they're sitting there finally in
CEA where the results really dictate maybe whether they're going
(02:24):
to be successful at getting into that course in that
career that they want to pursue. So there's only so
much as parents you can do. But what can you
do to help your kids deal with stress? So want
your calls. I eight one hundred and eighty ten eighty
and joining us to help us through this. She's a
psychologist at Mind Works and her name is Sarah Chapwin.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Hello Sarah.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
By the way, before we get into it, yeah, I
mean it's now. I've just looked out the window. It
looks a bit gray, but there is something about the weather.
I'm not sure how it's been throughout the whole country,
but this beautiful settle weather after some pretty bloody awful stuff,
isn't it one?
Speaker 4 (03:03):
They've been a really nice time, and I think it's
just this is summer. We're on the way, lovely time
to get out in the gardens. In fact, in the gardens, yesh,
the garden lots, and I'm talking about the gardens that
you might walk past on you DA to your neighborhood
and your community. Because I had this lovely, this lovely
thought about kids with exams and the lead up to exams,
(03:26):
trying to get some really wholesome time and green space
and to try and get those anxiety levels down pre exam.
And of course we had National Gardening Week October twentieth
to twenty seventh, so we've missed it. Yates put on
a fantastic kind of gardening Week for New Zealand and
it was really cool. I'm not a green finger at all.
(03:48):
I mean, I'm pretty hopeless in the garden, but it
was so lovely to see the theme of Gardening Week
was communities in bloom and it was people getting out
in the gardens, getting away from social media, digital detox,
zen time and it was just lovely. And I'm thinking
about kids and exams, and I'm thinking it would have
(04:08):
been quite nice to have had some of those beautiful
times where you just say to your children, Okay, you've
got some pretty I think you know.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
What, if we decided that we weren't going to do
the parents Squad, I think we'd have to rename this
out of the Gardening Squad. We'd still be a geek
for you.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I'll tell you what. I'm no great shakes in the garden,
but i tell you it was a beautiful way to
focus on something that was connecting people instead of being
on devices and being under stress. And I'm thinking that
for kids going into exams. As parents, you almost need
to look at this time, put it in your diary
and two weeks or a month pre exam, get kids
(04:47):
to be doing stuff that really allows them the opportunity
to do stress and debriefing and just feel good about
themselves before they go into a time of great stress.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Well, actually, I think what you've focused on is, while
when we're talking about exam stress and preparation is one
of the it's sort of obvious, but it isn't obvious
to kids. I shouldn't say kids all the time, to
young people.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Who are studying, the youth of New Zealand, yes.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
The youth of New Zealand, but the importance when they
are studying to get out and smell the roses, go
for a walk, just exactly, have regular breaks.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Energy activity, go for a walk, disconnect from the learning.
You know, the intensity of learning and studying. Just take
a break, give your body, give your mind a rest. Absolutely.
And also it was really nice in that week and
the National Gardening Week. I didn't even know about it
until this year and it's ten years old.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Oh, we really are going to do the gardenings?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Do you know what? It's something so different for me,
and when I got involved with it, I was like,
this is such a neat way of totally destressing. And
I think because of devices and the digital landscape and
social media, we are so passive in our approach to
a lot of things. But when kids are studying, absolutely
getting out, being active, taking regular breaks to allow them
(06:08):
to get stuff back on track.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
On the topic of exams, I just have to read
this first text that's coming. I'm a twelve year I'm
a year twelve student who listens to news talks they'd
be regularly go figure anyway, hang on, it says anyway,
I've already had half my exams, but I'm not at
all bothered at the outcomers. I've already passed the year
at excellence. My recommendation is to work hard throughout the
year and take only the classes you can manage, says Harry.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
That's great advice. I mean, work hard during the year
and as an excellent student, Harry. Harry is at the
top of his game, and that's why he listens to
news to exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
There you go, Harry. I'm not sure because for some
that sort of are in the middle just beginning. One
of my daughters. My younger daughters have had theirs because
I think they sit there while she's got school camp.
That's why they've had their exams, et cetera. But she's
not in the NCAA thing. Yes, what do you remember
your exams when you.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
Were I was terribly nervous about exams and I did
a lot of exams because not only did I go
through the school exams, I went on to do two
university degrees and a postgrad diploma. So there were a
lot of exams in my life, and I did get nervous.
It was a you know, a three hour stint of
pure focus. And I do remember though that I had,
(07:23):
you know, parents who were very encouraging in terms of, okay,
get a timetable sorted out so that you have a
bit of fun and a bit of play and a
bit of outside time and you are committing to a
programmer study. So it was quite nice to have a
certain study structure that allowed for breaks and for activity
and for sport and exercise and downtime as well as
(07:46):
you know, chunks of study time.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
What are the is it the study? What's the hardest
part for you about exams? Was it about preparing for them,
because I mean there.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Is there's a lot of information that you have to
cover to be able to you know, produce that under
conditions that are quite stressful. So I found that all
the information in a semester or in a year was
it was a lot. It's a lot, and yeah, I
found it pretty hectic. But if I stuck to a
(08:16):
quite a structure. You know, you get up at say
eight am on a Saturday, you study until ten, you
take a break until ten forty five, you go back
at it until twelve thirty, and then you have a
couple of hours off. But it has to be a
study structure that works for you. There's no point constructing
a study structure that doesn't work for you or makes
you feel uncomfortable. That's all wrong. It doesn't actually promote good,
(08:41):
healthy learning. So you have to I think it takes
time to do a bit of a plan. And you
know what I've said to you before, but you don't
remember this, but you should. You can achieve anything in
life with a plan.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
No, I don't remember that one.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Oh thanks Tim.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
No, hey, what in terms of the way the human
brain works best for studying because obviously kids, I don't know,
not obviously anything really, but I can't when I was
looking back when I used to study is to just
to be honest, I probably did the bare minimum. I
mean I was reasonably Okay, are you trying.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
To tell our listeners you were just that smart?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
No, that's what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
But I did left everything till last minute, okay. And
maybe it was the way that my brain could could
hang on to short term information so I could stuff
it fall and then I.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Mean a week and the just regurgitate it in there.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
No, but probably I think my understanding is that you're
better to study in what is it twenty minutes sort
of what's the optimum period. There's a point where your
brain start it works really efficiently, and it's sort of
ever decreasing returns as well.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Right, Well, I do know that when I've designed my
sessions for clients, we don't go too much over a
forty five minute talking mark because that's a lot of
chitta chat to absorb. And then so my sessions are
forty five minutes and then you have a five or
seventy ten minute Q and A at the end. I
think there is definitely that twenty to forty five minute
(10:08):
time frame where you are absorbing information positively, and I
think after an hour or certainly after an hour and
a half, you may feel a little bit flat or stale. However,
the basics that we really need to point out at
the beginning of this kind of a conversation is that
you know, kids, youth, teens, exam sitters need to hydrate.
(10:30):
They need to manage their nutrition so that they're feeding
that brain and hydrating that brain. But also key point sleep.
This isn't time for parties, and most kids youth probably
will save the going out and having an enormous amount
of funct to la after exams. But I mean, you
need sleep, You need healthy nutrition and great hydration. So sleep, nutrition,
(10:52):
hydration to begin with, that's the physiological stuff that really
promotes that great brain work.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Are there ways you can train yourself to deal with
the stress of exams better, so, I mean, preparation is
one thing, so you can get kids who perform well
throughout the year. And the internal assessment thing. I mean,
I guess AI has made that all a bit more
up in the air about what the future of that is.
But you know, the kids may be very good studies
and they're good students, they like what they're studying. But
(11:20):
then they get into the exam room. I mean, I
would have thought, I imagine that one of the biggest
enemies is simply that stress of in the moment of like,
oh my god, I've got yes, I've got it. And
well there would be kids who would panic as well
and just stare at the paper and can't get their
heads around it. I mean, are they coping techniques and
with that?
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Okay, so we'll start firstly with the plan and we
won't go on too long about it. But the plan
is something that is really nice to have because a
plan gives you confidence. It also gives you direction. It
also gives you that lovely feeling of yes, I have worked,
I have done my best, I have covered a lot
of ground. So a plan is lovely because it gives
(11:58):
you all of that.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
What's nice. I plan to get everything right, or I plan.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
To know I plan to cover these topics. I think
that you know, there's you. You kind of make some
predictions and then you work around it, you plot things out.
Your teachers have generally, I mean, teachers are fantastic in
terms of the direction that they give kids and then they,
you know, send them on their way with a bit
of a pre plan if you like, and some mechanisms
(12:23):
to get things sorted because there's a lot of information.
You need to sort it, you need to put it
into categories. But if you have a plan, and if
you've enacted that plan and followed through, you have that
lovely sense of support, You have that lovely feeling of
security that you've done a lot.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Of work, and that are you talking about all the
stuff you do before you go.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Okay, before we get into the room. Okay, but mock exams.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
But once you're in the room, okay, but let could
all go out the window.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
Okay, but hang on, you're rushing me here, tim you're
rushing set put your on you just relax. But before
we get into the room, we've done some mock exams,
so they have definitely replicated the approach, and they've replicated
the factors and all of the bits and bobs in
(13:10):
and around exam. So mock exams are great because, whilst
they don't mean too much, they give students an indication
of what things are going to be like. So to
a certain degree, I would think that students today go
into exams, the real exams, the ones that are more
meaningful than others, having gone through the mock process, which
(13:30):
which kind of primes them to understand how an exam
rolls out.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Because Yeah, somebody was talking to me before the show
about asking you about how much of a role teachers
can well, I mean, I think the obvious answer is obvious,
but how much of a role a good teacher can
play in training kids to deal with exams, you know,
in techniques or and what to expect. But I mean
that is a teacher's job to prepare to educate kids,
(13:56):
but also especially when it comes to those big exams, And.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
I think so many teachers do a fantastic job. And
I think that even with them, the general and very
I mean predictable anxiety that kids have in and around
these events, they probably their anxiety levels are reduced because
teachers have done ostellar job in prepping them and also
(14:21):
saying at the beginning of a year, hey, listen, let's
get some good work done throughout the years that chap
Harry said, so that the exams are just another step
forward in terms of your educational will come.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
What is the psychology around panicking? Are there particular precursors that. So,
for the reason I'm asking it is that it sounds
like if you really do the preparation and the mock
exams and all those sorts of things, then there's far
less chants of panicking or is the panickings? Are some
(14:54):
people inclined to just panic because it doesn't matter how
much prep they've done, This is the moment, and you
know they just get fixated on on the stress of
the whole.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Well, we're all very different, aren't we.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
It's just wonding why people panic? What is the psychology around?
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Okay, So, firstly, there could be a genetic predisposition for
being wired that way, and that you actually come from
an environment, a family environment, where perhaps there are pressures
and stresses put on you that make you feel that
these are more that exams are more important than perhaps
(15:33):
other family environments make other children feel. I mean, so
there are genetic factors, there are environmental factors, and then
you know, there are kids that are prepared beautifully by
the schools, by the teachers, and by their family environments
for this event. So perhaps they don't feel quite as
much panic as a child that perhaps has not been sleeping,
(15:53):
not been hydrating. Mom and dad areuntavailable so much for
a chitter chat around this stuff. They haven't listened to teachers,
they've opted out, so you know, a couple of days
before they think, oh, heck, am I ready? Have I
got a plan? Well? Maybe the answers no. Well, of
course that can be very panic inducing. So I think
again we go back to, you know, putting effort in
(16:18):
all throughout, you know, throughout the year. As the chap
Harry commented, I mean, look at the outcome that he's got.
Now he's not at all worried about exams because, as
he said, he has worked solidly throughout the year. Okay,
kids don't necessarily do that, but we're all very different.
So panic comes from a lot of different places.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Okay, let's take some calls on hundred and eighty, ten
and eighty, How did you cut with how would you
help young people deal with exam stress and all that
sort of thing? And I mean it does feel that
generally the more prep you can do and mock exams
and all that sort of thing, the better prepared you're
going to be. And otherwise you are leasing it up,
leaving it more up to a flight or fight. Or
flight response Sandy, Hello.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
Oh hi. My exams are like well over twenty years
ago now, But my plan going into them as always
to go through the entire book first and then answer
all the questions I was confident of doing, and it
kind of gets you into the rhythm and the mood.
And then at some point sometimes I'd be I feel
(17:20):
like I'd done enough to pass the exam, and it
just took the pressure off coming back to try and
answer the ones that I wasn't so sure of, because
I knew that even if I didn't complete them or
get it right, I'd probably already passed well enough. But
I think like it would be a shame of some
children just kind of went through page by page and
he took ages on the ones they weren't sure of
and didn't turn the page to do, you know, some
(17:42):
of the questions they could do. So like it was
always good to just go through and dons.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
A strategic approach, so you you had a stratego yeah.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
Yeah, and it worked out well. And I just think that,
you know, you don't want people to get into that
right and you know, flight to flight and they just
get stuck on a question and not move forward. It's
just it's key to just keep moving.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
I mean, actually that's probably that is really good pragmatic advice,
isn't it. So if you're struggling with something, it's like,
we'll move on to the next one and come back
to it and get a few runs on the board.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
But these are things that you probably work out pre exam.
As the caller just said, she had a plan that,
you know, she would go through the book and she
would make sure that she totally understood the stuff that
she was comfortable with, and then the stuff that perhaps
didn't come so freely, you know, she might go over
that and come back to it. So there was a
bit of a strategy, a plan. I love it. And
(18:35):
also she was comfortable doing that. That felt right for
her and it worked for her.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Yeah, how long ago since you did you exam? Sandy?
Speaker 5 (18:44):
Oh, it's yeah, close to twenty five?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Are laughing, Yeah, just case to twenty five. I know
we could have been days, might have been months, weeks
or something.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Years.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Have you had kids, Have you got kids who've gone
through exams or anything or not yet there in the Okay,
so that's coming, So they're not actually they doing sort
of pre NCA. Do they still have sort of tests?
I mean they call it tests at school, really don't
they until it becomes exams? But have they have they.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
Been hear intermediate not?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Oh god, I know, no worries.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Okay, they can come to you for some good advice, Sandy, soo.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Hey, thanks, thank you, Sandy. Actually, I do think a
lot of it is down to the how much of
it's down to the luck of the draw with schools
you get, because there are some schools where the teachers
have got you know, the school has got experience of
building up that that sort of that flywheel of momentum
of studying and tests when you're I mean, my my
(19:51):
twelve year olds had They don't call it exams because
I don't know when they call it exams when it's external.
I guess when they get into their seni years. But
they've got tests for this and tests for that. And
I have the sense that really the reason that some
schools have a fan tastic pass rate is because they've
got they've got that sort of method methodology settled as
(20:13):
to how to best educate kids and get that momentum
going for them. So when they finally at the big
exams the cars already, Yes.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
They're they're in the kind of flow. They've got a
flow going which is really lovely. But I think it's
interesting because I think teachers everywhere try their very best
to do their best for children, and sometimes, as Sandy said,
kids are not necessarily listening because you know, we've got
a lot going on with these with youth today in
terms of when they're sitting in exams, what's going on
(20:41):
for them with regard to their age and their stage.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
And so what is it that goes on with some
schools that just nail it with you? Can you look
at the there are certain schools if you look at
their achievement rates, and they're not all the private. Okay,
there is a fair bit of private schools. You know,
quite a number of private schools. But there are some
schools that just consistently feature in the top academic performance. So, yeah,
(21:04):
and every nature cares, but there must be something that
goes beyond just each individual teacher where there's a culture
of I don't know how to say this without but
there are some schools that do it way better than others.
And why is that?
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Well, I think there's a bit of personality that in
terms of leadership.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Often those expectations.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Those great results come from the who's at the helm
and the culture that they create within the school. But
of course competition and expectation can creep in there too,
and you know, students can feel rightly or wrongly because
it can be right and it can be very wrong
that they need to keep up to a certain level
because they are part of this group, and often that
(21:47):
is reflected in great grades or not. So, you know,
So there's a lot of factors. But I would say
skilled teachers, motivated leaders, great leadership style, inclusive cultures and
environments where you know, growth minds, it is fostered and
people feel valued and like they want to be on
(22:10):
that that convey a belt you know of forward moving
positive educational outcomes. So there's I would say, again, there's
a multiplicity effectors that come into success, and probably a
multiplicity that add up to a school that's not doing
so well, you know, high student absenteism, teachers that are
(22:30):
very very frustrated with you know, complex, it is totally,
it's a very complex equation probably the way.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah, well I love your cause on this though, but
what is the success? What is the secret to exam
success for kids. I mean, we started off talking about
avoiding that panic of course in the stress, and it
does seem that a lot of it boils down to
you know, experience and in fact, intuitively, anything you do
in life, the more you do it, the more you
do it and you practice practice, you remove the lifelihood
(23:00):
of anxiety. Familiar.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Yeah, But the other thing is parents can also join
the conversation and coach their children through that anxiety a
little bit. Pre I believe, to be fair, there will
always be a percentage great or small of youth that
feel very anxious and panicky about exams. Parents can also,
you know, take the lead and say, hey, listen, this
(23:25):
is what it's going to be like. You know, you're
going to be sitting there for a long time and
it is quite intense. But remember that, you know, if
you do the work and this is a conversation, you
would have a couple of months out or you know,
with a generous margin out from the exam and you
can talk to your kids about them and say, hey, listen,
if you feel anxious and if you're panicking a bit,
(23:46):
that's quite normal, but you don't have to let that
get to you. And then another key tip would be
as you are studying, remember to take those breaks, Remember
to exercise, Remember to fuel your body, which fuels your brain.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Right, we'd like your cause on this eight one hundred
and eighty ten eighty. If we've got time, we might
have a bit of a chat about people who are
over share as parents online. That's one of the things
we've also got slated for conversation. But when it comes
to exam success, what do you think the secret is
to helping your child succeed with their exams? But also,
I mean, does it boil down to as well if
(24:22):
you have the luxury of school choice, Because why does
some schools simply just consistently do better when it comes
to academic results. Is it is socioeconomic thing? Is it
something that the school's doing in terms of the methodology
that they've built up over the years where they just
have a really strong culture of knowing what they're doing
and setting your kids up for exam success. I don't know,
(24:43):
I waight one hundred and eighty ten eighty text nine
two nine two. We'll be back in just a moment.
It's oh goodness, may I've left that break a bit late?
It's twenty nine minutes to six. Yes, News Talk said
be and we're talking about exams. Look, actually, I mean
it is where the kids are right in the throws.
I found myself looking up on what the actual timetable
was for the New Zealand Qualifications Authority and so look
(25:06):
like they kicked off on Tuesday. So kids are right kids.
I've got to stop saying kids done us, Sarah. Young
people are in the throes of doing their exams right now,
and it does look at not that we're ever going
to come up with the answer to the meaning of life,
because there is always the choice of schools, and some
schools do better at exams. But what do you actually Sarah,
Sara chat one, sorry, thank you?
Speaker 1 (25:27):
What are you?
Speaker 4 (25:29):
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (25:29):
What do you think the What do you think the
schools that do have that success really have going for
them when it comes to academic success. Is it because
there's great leadership at the top?
Speaker 4 (25:40):
I think that absolutely at the school. Absolutely, if you
start with a great leader who promotes a really positive
culture where students feel heard and seen and valued, then
they're more likely to buy into the process as the
rules and regulations. If you have schools that are under
control and that are not running riot and rampant with
(26:02):
you know, students misbehaving. Of course, I believe you'll see
some really good results because kids are focused on learning
and work and not on all these other distractions outside.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
How much should I guess? The question for parents is
how much involvement should you have in your child's preparation
for exams? Because I have the sense that you know
you want them to be making good decisions, But I
don't know if you can even nag a child into
(26:35):
your kid.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
I wouldn't start nagging.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
No, I don't mean, but you know what I mean?
How much? How much influence can you really have if
you're worried that they are taking I mean, you see them,
they take they do ten minutes of study. In the
next minute, they're on their social media for half an hour.
How hard and how hard should you push your kids
from your angle as a parent to be doing their study,
Because it's a bit like you can lead a horse
(26:58):
to water, but you can't make it drink. How do
you actually I mean, do you have to just let them?
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
I don't know. No, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:06):
You do your due diligence I mean, first up, they
start their study program. And if you are seeing your
child do ten minutes stints with huge intervals of social
media and connecting on Instagram and all the rest of it,
well you've got to have a chat about that. You
can check in with your kids. I mean, you are
the parent. That's your job, and you know, so you
check in with your kids and say, Okay, hey, just
(27:27):
wondering kind of what's going on here? Well I'm doing
ten minutes and on my Instagram. Okay, what about you
do thirty minutes and then you have a couple of minutes,
and then maybe you do two lots of thirty minutes,
and then you take a break, you walk outside. I
necessarily need your phone with you all the time. I mean,
these are things that parents need to talk to their
children about. And quite frankly, with regard to revision of work,
(27:51):
your child can step away from the device. That's not
too much to ask. We're parents also, But I'm.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Thinking, so I haven't gone through that with my kids yet.
I mean we've got well we're going through the early
stages where they're doing sort of what is it in
z QA fre n CEA before.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
But.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
I sort of feel that again, it sort of ties
into that the work you do beforehand. By the time
they get to those exams, I don't really want to
be looking over their shoulder to see what they're doing.
And I'm not going to be honest, no, I won't, shouldn't,
but I won't be doing that, so I won't actually
know if they're taking too much time to check their messages.
All I'll be doing is maybe every hour or two
(28:32):
going how have you got on with that? You know,
what have you covered? Are you feeling okay with it?
And if they give me some vague answer, then that
might be yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
But you know that something's going on if they're in
their room for a couple of hours and you say, hey,
how are you going? Because it's great for parents to
check in. Little chickens like that are very valuable. You
can gain a whole lot of information from the uttering
of a very few words, how are you going? And
if they are not, if it's nebulous, if they are
(29:01):
not able to give you some content, it indicates that
they're working. Then you need to be a little bit worried.
And then you sit down and maybe you know, help
them with a plan. But I would suggest that parents
start at the beginning of a year in terms of
helping to support their children through the educational process for
the year. Why would you start in November or October?
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Actually, I mean, that's that's bang on, isn't it. Isn't
it funny that I mean? I always no, But I
always think with the most parenting issues that if we
started earlier, well, it's easier said than done, because everyone
has busy lives and all sorts of things. But and
I found myself quoting that guy in Grant, he founded
the Parenting Place, who used to say that, you know,
(29:44):
you engage with your children early in life, and then
by the time that they're teenagers and they're telling you
to get stuff, you've earned that right to His expression
was speaking to their lives.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Well, that's also I think also if we use a
bit of more you know, modern modern speak, being accessible
to you children and being there to support and guide
as a parent helps in that whole process of earning
their respect along the parenting journey and along their growth journey.
(30:16):
So if you are available, if you are accessible, if
you are interested, those are three key words in terms
of being able to relate to your children. All the
way through and help out at exam time, because I.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Mean, I've just written down really here that you know,
you've talked about kids cramming for an exam. The one
thing you can't really do as a parent.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
And if you are, is cram your parenting. No, but
you can't.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
That's the whole point. So if the end of the
year comes around and all of a sudden you become
this parent who's uptight about your child's results, then to
you probably need to look in the mirror and think, well,
what was my involvement with their work during the whole course.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Of the year.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Actually, that's which sounds very judgmental, doesn't it.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
No, No, no, that sounds like a really good exercise.
So any parent out there struggling with getting their children
to commit to exam learning should probably just take a
moment to reflect and think, Okay, did I set it
up right as a parent from the beginning of the
year or you know two.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
What's then, isn't it? You're just going to make sure
you don't pay.
Speaker 4 (31:14):
It's not too late for next year, Okay, Because really,
at the beginning of every year as a parent, you go, okay,
I've got these kids what do they need from me?
What will they need from me? Let's look, let's future
cast and that ensures that there's some buy in from
your child if they know that your supportive and that
you're all over it with them.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Right, We're going to take a break. We'll be back
in just to take It's nineteen and a half minutes
to six. Yes, so welcome back, and I forget. We're
talking with Kobe Mrity soon about the upcoming game between
Auckland f C and the Phoenix, as well as the
All Black Test against Scotland and the wee small hours
of the morning. We're talking about exam stress and actually
in the break, Sarah Chapman and I who's my guest
from mind works today, I was thinking about back to
(31:54):
my own exam time, and there's a moral to what
I'm going to say is I don't really remember enjoying
studying much for exams because I didn't really enjoy the
exams are studying for ok there, course subjects English was okay.
Actually I had some you know English, I quite enjoyed
English in the latter parts. But it just reminds me,
(32:16):
I think it's so important for you, not you Sarah
but you, as in parents, to really encourage your kids
to study stuff that excites them. And that's a massive
part of.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
The journey, I think, and it can make the educational
process for a child so much easier if they're engaged
because they actually like the subject. But as you mentioned,
there's a few subjects that you have to do well,
the science that the Mass and the English to begin with.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
And that's where a gifted teacher can make something that's right.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
You know, they can make it sing, they can make
it come alive for the child. So you are a
little dependent on teachers and all the rest of it.
But you certainly hit it when you said, we need
to do a lot more of what we enjoy and
not what we think people expect of us, and we
need to perhaps think about jobs that and vocations that
allow us to experience life a.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Happy letting kids, letting your children just choose what they
think are about the easy subjects, but finding things that
For instance, one of my daughters is making it look
actually I think her choices are fine, but she's made
a couple of choices we weren't expecting, and there was
one of them we thought, oh, I'm not sure is
that really what you should be doing. And then my
wife and I talked about and thought, you know, she
(33:27):
really wants to do it, she's excited about it. Good choice.
And then as soon as you embrace that, that then
she feels good about the choices she's making and she's
happy and all of a sudden, because I think that's
one of the worst things is if you are one
of those kids. And when we talked about it with
the kids who leave school early because school's just not
for them. Yes, but if you can find something that
(33:47):
lights your fire, then than half of the job's done,
isn't it.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
But interestingly, if there is a subject that your child
has to do but doesn't like, a teacher can make
a difference or a parent can make a difference by saying, hey, listen,
I didn't necessarily like that subject either, but it is helpful,
and you know, you can do this and this, and
then you can look at this profession sometimes trying to
light that fire.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
A little bit funny. When I did law, there was
a subject I hated. I hated constitutional law, and because
I hated it, though, I thought I needed to conquer
my demon, so I chose to do advanced.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
Public law your a little opposition of that funny.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
I tell you, I don't know what the psychology is this,
but it was the best mark I ever got at university.
Of course I was angry with it. I thought I'm
going to beat you.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
You it was your adversary, and you took it on
and you won the fight. You won the battle right.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Although during the exam there was a guy there who
had a PhD in classical Greek, is a very bright guy,
and the exam they had set accidentally they made it
too hard, and I knew we were in trouble when
he looked up from his paper and looked around the
room to catch our eyes, like, oh my god, this
is really hard.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
That can be so destroying when you see that.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
Anyway, look we digress, but hey, it's great to chat
with you about this stuff. Chat with you and if
people want to catch get some up from our psychological
point of view.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Mind works dot cot on ye send me an email.
Shrink at mind Works, Jock code Doren shrink at mind Works.
I'm a register psychologist, so yeah, reach out if you
have any questions queries. And I always get some lovely
inquiries from the show tim and they also say how
lovely you are and very laddy.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
We'll get flattery, We'll get you everywhere. Hey, we'll be
back shortly. Nice to see us, sar uh, we'll be
backly with quickly with the shortly should I say? With
the Kobe Murati for the Sports Rap In just a moment,
it's twelve minutes to six.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen live to news
Talk z BE weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio
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