January 27, 2025 • 37 mins
People can get so used to the insane that normal is what feels insane. Why are we celebrating the fact that the president is using his presidential powers to protect it? The opinion of a parasite. Burning hot towels. A clean bill of health.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is a Jesse Kelly Show, The Jessie Kelly Show.
Let's have some fun on a Monday, an incredible Monday,
A medal of a medal of honor Monday. Easy for
(00:31):
me to say. That's coming up about an hour from now.
And we have so much going on in the country
it's hard to get to everything. But we slapped around
Columbia this weekend. That's always a good time. We're apparently
paying the Taliban millions of dollars for rubbers. Miami University
is getting back to normal. I'll tell you why. That's
(00:52):
just it matters. Just hag with me on that Haiti
doesn't want its people back, says it'll be catastrophic, making
fun of hysterical celebs. All that and so much more
coming up tonight on the world famous Jesse Kelly Show. Now,
let's begin with kind of a what's going to be
a theme tonight on the show?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Normal normal.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Can seem crazy for people who've gotten use to abnormal
part of the human condition. Let me say that again,
normal can, and in fact will seem crazy for people
who've gotten use to abnormal. You ever watch a movie,
(01:44):
read a book about somebody who had spent a lot
of time, maybe in combat or in prison or something
like that, someplace where they didn't have access to a bed,
a cushioned bed, and then you bring them into the
civilized world and they don't even sleep on the bed,
or at least they don't want to. Feels weird. I'd
(02:06):
rather sleep on the floor. Why, well, their body, their
mind got used to sleeping on something hard, and now
the bed feels weird. Now normal feels insane to that person.
And it doesn't matter how many examples you give that
person about how it's normal. Explain it to them in
(02:27):
scientific detail, why it's normal to sleep on a bed
to that human being, because their mind and body have adjusted,
Normal feels insane. Booze you know, or drugs? Do you
ever know anybody or maybe you yourself, have suffered from
some sort of substance abuse. We'll make it. We'll make
(02:48):
it about alcohol, because that's more a common one that
has visited all of us, myself included. People end up
having struggles at points in their life with alcohol. Ever
been one of those people? And you just kind of
always have a drink. If it's Friday night hanging out
with friends, you have a bunch of drinks. If it's
Monday night, long day at work, you have a drink.
(03:10):
You're going to a game, you have a drink, you're
going to a concert, you have a drink. And I'm
not criticizing any of you who have a drink when
you do these things, but for people who struggle with it, well,
of course that's what you do. You have a drink.
And then when they stop, when they're getting back to normal,
it seems crazy. Hold on, wait a minute, we have
to We're going to a Metallica concert this Friday, and
(03:34):
you're not going to drink. Wait? What normal seems insane
to people who've been conditioned to abnormal. What's happening right
now in the United States of America in the one
week old Trump administration is awesome. It is good. It
(03:55):
feels incredible. We wake up every day and for once
we can't wait to check the news on what new
good thing is happening. And they are all good things.
I want to drive that point forward. We're not all
but most of these are good things. That is good things.
Great things are happening. But to back up a little bit,
(04:17):
zoom out, if you will, what's happening right now? That's
how your government should always be. You realize that Democrat
Republican who won the election, but the things that are
happening right now, that's how it should be. There shouldn't
(04:42):
ever be any other way. But we Americans have been
so conditioned to our political leaders, mostly Democrat but some
Republicans treating this country like an open soeer, teaching other
countries around the world to you treat this country like
an open sewer. We have so accepted that as the
(05:04):
state of affairs because that's all we've ever known. Really
that now when we finally get a president who advocates
on behalf of us exclusively, it's like, whoa, I didn't
even know this was possible. But do you realize do
you realize what an indictment that is on the others?
(05:26):
I mean, yes, it's good for Trump switching things up,
and yes, yes, yeah, oh that's true, But what an
indictment that is on the others that you and me
we see normal activity from an American president and we say, wow,
America first, it's we are so back.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Uh, let's talk about Columbia because we'll do this with
a bunch of different things. Columbia countries speaking about being
the world's open sewer. For decades, the state of affairs
in the world has been this ship your dregs to America,
(06:09):
whether you are Cuba, whether you are Columbia, whether you
are Afghanistan, whether you're Yemen, wherever you happen to be.
When a Democrat gets elected, and I should be clear,
this takes place under Republicans and ramps up under Republicans
as well, so I'm not letting them off the hook.
But you know when a Democrat gets elected, but even
(06:31):
if a Republican gets elected, that you will be able
to unload the people you don't want into America. So
let's stick with Colombia. Other countries, we are not used
to this. Again, you're used to what's abnormal. I am
used to what's abnormal here in the United States of America.
We don't stress the federal budget near as much as
(06:52):
we should. But we don't generally stress it at all
because we're huge, and we're American, we're number one. We
have all the money in by ba bah bah blah.
But if you're in Colombia, if you are dealing with
a limited budget, it is very very limited. You only
have so many resources to go around so much personnel,
so much money, so much This is so much that
now pause on all this geopolitical nonsense for a moment.
(07:13):
Let me ask you something. If you would want this superpower, because,
in my opinion, what I'm about to say is the
greatest superpower nobody ever talks about. You couldn't make a
movie about it because it'd be boring. But it's the
greatest superpower in the world. Do you want to know
what it is. It's not flight, it's not invincibility, it's
not invisibility. The greatest superpower on the planet would be
(07:35):
to remove the bottom five percent in every single setting
you were in. Do you understand how close to perfect
what your life would be if on the way to
work today, on the way to school, Oh gosh, traffic.
You know, our traffic's bad. It's actually not that construction zone.
(07:55):
It's actually not because of rush hour. It's because there
are four morons on the road who were tech thing
while they were driving. They managed to slam into other people,
change lanes when they shouldn't have, and they just the
bottom five percenters have managed to screw up traffic for everybody.
Why is the airport a nightmare? Why are where are
there these delays? Those delays are their technical problems. Of
course there are technical problems, but the airport is mostly
(08:18):
a nightmare because of the employees and or travelers who
are the bottom five percent of morons and evil idiots.
And if you could remove them, it would all work
out great. Why is that party not as fun as
it should be on Friday night? Most of the people
with that party are friendly and wonderful. Why wasn't the
party great because the bottom five percent of the party
were loud obnoxious? You understand what I'm saying. Why in
(08:38):
your classroom, why did it take an extra fifteen minutes
before your teacher lets you out of class? Today, most
of the students were good to go. You had a
bottom five percent of losers, the bottom five percent of life.
If you could clean it out, and there's no magic superpower,
there's no magic button that could give you that power.
But if you could do that in your own personal life,
your own personal life would be so much better than
(09:01):
it is now. Personal life, business life, your entire life
will go back to Columbia. Why does Columbia want to
dump its most violent people onto us? Why does it
want to dump its poorest people onto us. Well, what
does it do for a country, any country of any size,
if you can take the bottom five percent, we'll call
them the bloodsuckers, whether they be criminal or poor or
(09:24):
whatever it may be. But the ones who don't actually contribute,
the ones who are a net drain. What does it
do for you if you cannot only send those people
to America? But you know, America is so full of
scumbags in the government that there's a chance not only
will you be able to send your people to America,
(09:44):
you'll probably find a senator or a president or a
member of the House who will pay you for it.
They'll find a round don't find a roundabout way to
stroke you a check and pay you to give them
your bottom five percent. And so that for for my
entire forty three years on the planet, that's been a
state of affairs in the world, no matter where you are,
(10:07):
no matter who you are. Oh, you got five bottom
five percent, Yemen, Hey, he get amount of ship? I
heard Joe Biden got elected and you simply unload the problems.
And where do you unload them? Right here? Which brings
me to what happened with Columbia and Trump's response before
(10:29):
we get to that bottom five percent probably describes you
some of your employees, doesn't it. What if? What if
you could get rid of the bottom five percent? You
think I don't sympathize. That's all I have here with
Chris and Corey bottom one percent? Really think I don't
(10:50):
need improvements. That's what zip recruiter is there for. Zip
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(11:10):
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Don't let the Chris of your job drag you down.
ZipRecruiter dot com slash jesse is where you can try
it for free. Don't make the mistakes I've made. We'll
(11:33):
be back the Jesse Kelly Show. It's still real to me. Dammit,
the turnstacks. It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Monday.
Remind me well, I'm gonna remind you Medal of Honor
Monday is coming up about forty five minutes from now. Chris,
remind me to tell everybody what happened at the doctor's
(11:56):
office today. It's all we'll do that after Mettle of
Honor Monday, if you will. Back to what we were discussing,
how we as Americans we've gotten used to insanity and
when we see normalcy, we now celebrate and we cheer.
But the truth is that's how it always should be.
So over the weekend, Colombia, who's always been more than
(12:21):
happy to unload its bottom five percenters onto our country, Colombia, well,
Trump told them, hey, we got some planes coming. They're
your people. We're setting them back. Got all these Colombian
illegals here, or you're setting them back. Their president, Gustavo Petro, Well,
I'm honestly, I'm actually going to defend the guy. He's
(12:44):
used to the way things have always been in America,
or the way things have been for decades, and the
way things have been for decades under Democrats and Republicans
is you just say no, we're not taking them, and
then America looks down, starts twiddling its thumbs. Oh, dang,
that's too bad. Well, I mean, I guess we'll just
move them into some tiny town in Idaho. Nothing we
(13:06):
can do about that. But Trump said, excuse me, you're
not taking them. Uh okay, here's some twenty five percent
tariffs with fifty percent tariffs on the way. I will
shatter your country on the wheel economically. You sure you're
not going to take them? And it was not exaggerating.
I think within two hours the president of Columbia came
(13:29):
out and said, you know what, I actually will take them.
Thanks Trump, appreciate you, appreciate it very much. And we
all celebrated. We all cheered. If you followed this story,
we all cheered, Yeah, Trump really tear it to them.
They're taking them back to the Americans, and I'm not
saying you should them. Cheered. I cheered, that's great, it's
a great story. Good for Trump, well done. But pause
for a moment on that and think about how insane
(13:56):
things have been. We are celebrating an American president using
the tools at his disposal to send back the dregs
into Colombia. Now, I'm not dogging on us celebrating. I'm
(14:16):
dogging on every other president that came before him. Where
has this been? And to clarify, I realize that Democrats
are America hating communists now and most Republicans are weak.
But you realize that that Trump Columbia story we just
talked about, I'm sure you've heard about it today. That's
(14:40):
how it should be, no matter who gets elected. And
I'm not here to tell you that both parties should
be the same, but you're always gonna have different parties
in a country, different priorities, things like that. I get that,
But sending back illegals, sending illegals out of your back
(15:02):
into their home country, it's being treated as radical and
right wing and republican. That should happen under Democrats and Republicans.
That's just kind of how it's supposed to work. But
we have been so conditioned to accept that. Well, no
(15:24):
matter what, we gotta let the world just treat us
like a punching bag, no matter what. It's wild to me,
Wow to do you or jd Vance on the news, Well,
this is a country founded by immigrants. Well, this is
a country.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Founded by country.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
This is a very unique country and it was founded
by some immigrants and some settlers. But just because we
were founded by immigrants. Doesn't mean that two hundred and
forty years later that we have to have the dumbest
immigration policy.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
In the world.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Listen to how the communist on the news just regurgitates
the same communist talking point you've heard time and time again.
We're founded by immigrants. They can't even help themselves. They
are so conditioned to push the norm, to push the
America hating norm. It just comes right out of them.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
We absolutely cannot unleash thousands of unvetted people into our countries.
These people just like the guy who played a terrorist
attack in Oklahoma a few months ago. He was allegedly
properly vetted, and many people in the media and the Democratic.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Party said that he was properly vetted.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Clearly he wasn't, no, and.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
That was a very particular case. It wasn't clear if
he was radicalized when he got here or these people
are vetted and he was radicalized what he got here.
But understand, she's really really trying to protect the system.
And well, we have to play a game. In fact,
Chris Corey, we're going to replace this month's we never
used it, and we're going to come up with something.
(16:52):
And I don't know what it is yet we have
to come up with some kind of stinger for the soundboard.
Where is this communist, an evil liar or mentally handicapped,
because this woman is one of the two. Now, this
is Nora O'Donnell, Face the Nation. Let's be honest, she's
(17:15):
just an evil.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
We absolutely cannot unleash thousands of unvetted people into our countries.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
These people are these people are vetted. These people are vetted.
She knows that's a lie. You could sit and explain
to her how we take these people in from from
countries where proper vetting is not possible because these countries
don't have our documentation system. Americans are so used to
living in a civilized country they think everybody has birth
(17:42):
certificates and social security numbers in criminal records that are
centralized and things like that. But nothing could be further
from the truth. And you could explain to this face
the Nation hag that that is exactly what's going on here.
I think her name is Nora o'donnald. Don't quote me
on that, but you could explain to her that that's
the situation, but she already knows that's the situation. She
knows improper vetting is the standard. She knows you can't
(18:05):
properly vet these people. She is a communist trying to
bring about the collapse of the United States of America.
And as all communists, she knows it's her job to
lie without end and without fail. And we have simply
accepted that that's how things are supposed to be, and
that now it's radical. It's a change. Now's what we
(18:29):
should always be. I'll finish up on this. We're moving on.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Hang on the Jesse Kelly Show on air and online
at Jesse Kellyshow dot com.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Monday. Reminding
you you can email the show Jesse at Jesse kellyshow
dot com. You can leave us a voicemail eight seven
seven three seven seven four three seven three. Although not
everybody's happy.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Ye, where are you so prejudice again? Immigration? My grandparents
were an immigration and weren't good people. We don't kill,
we don't hurt, we work hard, So stop being so prejudiced.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Okay, First of all, we need to get a couple
things out of the way. First. I am prejudiced, okay,
not necessarily against immigrants or anything like that. But I
believe in discrimination. You understand that. Communist, I believe in prejudice,
you do too. I'm just the one who's honest about it.
(19:36):
So once again, allow me to explain it this way. You,
no matter who you are, communist or normal person, listening
to the sound of my voice. You you can tell
how much you love something by how much you discriminate
who gets access to that something. And if if you
(20:00):
discriminate a lot, then you love that something a lot.
If you are, well, just open it up and let
everyone in. You can convince yourself you're nice, but the
truth is you don't care about that thing. You see
a couple great examples. Well, here's an analogy. Your home.
(20:23):
I've used this one before ten o'clock tonight. There's a
knock on the door. You have your family home, and
there's a dude with a dirty wife beater and a
teardrop tattoo on his face, looking pretty rough, standing on
the front porch. You open up the door, which you
shouldn't do, especially you ladies, but all of you should
not open that door either way. If you do, happen
(20:45):
to open the door and he says, hey, man, I
want to come in mind, if I come in, put
my feet up, eat some of your food, watch TV.
What are you going to say? You're going to say no? Yes,
even you loser communists who hate watch the show. Why
are you going to say no? You're going to say
no because you have used your eyes and ears to
make assessments, make judgments about that person and you because
(21:09):
of the love you have for the people and the
things inside of your home, you have decided that person
on your front porch is not actually going to have
access to the people you love. Now, if that loser
was trying to get into someplace you didn't care about,
you would say you should definitely let him in. It
would be nice to let him in. Don't be prejudiced.
(21:31):
Isn't it the Christian thing to do to let him in?
But if he wanted into your home, you would not
let him in. Remember when the people of Martha's Vineyard
were treated to I believe it was forty eight illegals
bust to them by Ron de Santis. Did they even
last forty eight hours? They had every single one of
them on the bus. They called in the National Guard
(21:51):
and said sign a thanks for coming. Why because they
love Martha's Vineyard one of the great arguments out there.
I don't use it because it sounds like you're pointing
out Communist hypocrisy, but it's still it's great when you
when you drill it down a little bit deeper the pope.
The Pope says America is evil for expelling illegals. You
(22:12):
shouldn't do this. This is crazy. And yet I was
just at the Vatican a month ago, the in fact
might be a month ago today. I was walking inside
the walls at the Vatican and I saw airport like security,
armed guards everywhere. You could eat off the floor. I
(22:33):
walked into the Vatican and there was a homeless man
begging for food and change right outside the walls. Funny,
I walked inside the walls and he wasn't there. You
know why he wasn't there because the people inside the
Vatican don't want that dirty filth inside the walls of
the Vatican. That's why he wasn't there. It's not pointing
out hypocrisy. It shows you the Pope cares a lot
(22:54):
about the fancy walls and the domes and the statues
and the ropes and everything else, and so he does
what he discriminates on who is allowed in and who
is allowed or well who's not allowed it. And that
brings me to a couple other points on your voicemail condition.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Were you so prejudiced?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
I already explain why I'm prejudiced. I discriminate and I'm prejudiced.
I'm prejudiced against stupid people. I'm prejudiced against people who
are not born in my country, who believe they get
to pillage my country. I'm prejudiced against gingers. I'm prejudiced
against a lot of people in immigration.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
My grandparents were an immigration and.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
My grandparents were in immigration. This is why I wanted
to play this. I'm very prejudiced against stupid people. Listen, listen.
You don't even know how to get through a fifteen
second voicemail without screwing up words. You feelthy communists. Don't
(24:04):
think you're ever going to leave me one of these
voicemails and think you're going to sway me in any way,
because you're too stupid. You realize that and really being stupid.
You should be mad, not at them, not at me.
You should be mad at them because the Communists have
taken advantage of your rampant stupidity, and you sound I mean,
(24:29):
you sound like got to be an older one.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Where are you so prejudiced against immigration?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
We'll call it what Chris fifty sixty? It could be
fifty depending on how many Marlboro Reds she's burned through.
But you're not only stupid. You're older than me. You've
lived decades more than I have. You've had decades where
(24:57):
you could be acquiring knowledge, figuring out the way the
world works and the motivations behind people. But you're too
dumb and you let them take advantage of you. And
this is exactly why those of us who hear Tom
Holman and cheer when he says things like this, You're
why we cheer. Not opening up to anyone who's in
(25:20):
the country illegally and going into schools and grabbing them
does that kids? Don't? Message needs to be clear. This
consequences enter a country illegally. If we don't show this consequences,
you'll never go to fix the border problem. And listen,
one more word, communists, all of you, because we get
a bunch of these emails and voicemails. Why are you prejudice?
Why you're so racist? Let me explain that doesn't work
(25:45):
on me. You cannot use my values against me. Communists,
I will never ever ever allow you to do so.
And I understand that you you're used to dealing with
the right with a GOP however you want to call it,
who has allowed you, for the entirety of your life
(26:08):
to use their values against them. That's why you'll finally
open up a Bible for the first time and you'll
find a scripture to quote to them. Is this what
Jesus would want? That's why you'll try to accuse people
of being Hitler or a Nazi, or are prejudice or racist.
And you're used to throwing out these communist buzzwords and
(26:29):
having people on the right suck their thumb and hond
under their bed and play defense. Ah Na, I love
black people, have eva. You're never ever, ever, ever ever
going to get that with me ever. And just so
you think I'm not just being mean, I need to
explain why. You need to explain why I have no
(26:52):
regard for you as a human being. You're more of
a parasite, really a disease. If you will, blood sucking
the country. I love doing everything you can to poison
this culture, the minds of our children to wreck everything
you see. Of course, you convinced yourself you're the good
(27:12):
person in all this, but you're not. You're just a parasite.
If you will, now, let me ask you, a parasite
do you care about its opinion on anything? World affairs, sports?
I don't care? What do you ever? Would it ever
occur to you if you got a parasite. I've had
them a couple of times. Would it ever occur to
you to look down at your parasite and ask what
(27:34):
it thought of you? Of course it wouldn't. Communists, That's
how I think about you. So your accusations don't work
with me. It's not because of what you say. It's
actually because of you yourself personally. I have no regard
for you, So whatever you say doesn't matter. Does that
make sense? Good? Let's do some emails and then we'll
(27:57):
come back to Medal of honor Monday and some more
along these lines. Let's also talk about preserving memories for
life and digitizing memories for life. Let's let's be honest
about how we consume videos and pictures. Now, how do
you do it? Where do you do it? You do
it on your phone? Don't you. You do it on
(28:18):
your iPad, your phone, maybe your laptop. That's how we
like to watch things, and it's easy to organize things.
We'll put all that we took our vacation at the beach.
We put them all our pictures here. We did it
for our for our Israel trip. Remember when we all
went to Israel. Is a big family, Holy Lamb. We
have a big Israel trip photo album of videos and
things like that. Let Legacy Box do that for all
(28:41):
the pictures in your life. All those old VHS tapes,
the cam cam quarder tapes, all those things, all those
hard copies need to be professionally digitized. But who even
knows how to do that. You're going to sit there
and try to scan everything on your phone. That's crazy.
When Legacy Box will just do it for you. Legacy
Box will send you a box. You put all that
(29:02):
stuff in the box, you ship it off to them
that will ship it all back. You'll eat your hard
copies back and you get your stuff digitized so it
lasts forever. You want your great great great grandkids to
look at you on the beach. Maybe you don't want that.
If you're out of shape, do you want that though,
legacybox dot Com slash Jesse saves you fifty percent. Legacybox
(29:24):
dot com slash Jesse. We'll be back.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Miss something.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
There's a podcast, get it on.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Demand wherever podcasts are found, The Jesse Kelly Show.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
It is The Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful Monday.
Remember we have Medal of Honor Monday coming up like
ten minutes from now. I can't wait anymore. I have
to tell you right now. So I had an appointment
today at the doctor's office. Don't worry. Everything's fine, everything's fine.
(29:56):
But it was one of these extra i'll call it
an dream physical. So my dad, as you know, passed
away recently. And as I've told you that, longtime listeners
will know that on the Kelly side, the Kelly men
just don't make it very long. That they just don't.
My dad was sixty nine when he died, just like
(30:17):
two or three weeks shy of seventy, Well two weeks shy,
who's two weeks away from seventy, and he still made
it longer than his dad and his brothers. It's just
the Kelly men don't go and your old man, your
old man passing on early leads you to believe that
at least you should probably go get looked at. I
over the last three months, if I'm doing me talking here,
(30:41):
I've treated my body like a garbage disposal. Okay, nobody
in the history of mankind has ever eaten as poorly
as I've eaten over the last three months. Because food
is my thing. You know what, I can't hide it.
I love to eat. I love to eat. I eat
every dagone good thing I can get my hands on.
(31:03):
I think about food, I talk about food. I text
about food. Bob Bob yells at me when we're in
the restaurant because she catches me eyeballing everyone's meal who
walks by, and she tells everybody. She says, he looks
at food the way other men look at other women.
That's the way he looks at food. I admit it.
So I've been eating. Look, I just gave you a
long excuse. I've been eating so bad. In sweets too.
(31:25):
I don't even I'm not even huge that huge on sweets,
skittles and just cakes. I just don't even care. I'd
just been dining at all for three months. Went to
the doctor's office today. Clean Bill of health, baby a
in your stupid face, Chris, in your face, clean bill
of health. Doc said you look great, he's look at
(31:47):
what Chris was. Yes, Chris, it was a very though
in examination. No it was no. No, it wasn't that
I'm not in the navy. Okay, No, I just no,
it was fine. He didn't check the oil man, what's
wrong with you? No, But it was a thrill. I
even had to do the stress test thing like where
(32:09):
you're running on the treadmill and stuff like that, and
then they brought in I was shirtless for the stress tests,
so they attach all these things to you, and then
there was all these nurses and stuff like that in there. Well,
for three months, my cardio hasn't exactly been on point,
and I've had a lot of tacos in these three months,
a lot of tacos, and the docks sitting in there
and he's talking to me, and you know, the idea
(32:31):
of a stress test is they have to get your
heart rate to the maximum, So it's not like there's
an easy stress test. No matter what, you're gonna max
out on your art rate. So they start ramping up
the treadmill and I'm running and running and the doc
is talking to me and he's trying to make basic conversation.
And then I really couldn't talk that much anymore because
I was sucking wind. But I didn't want to look
(32:51):
like that because all the nurses were looking at me
and my shirt was off, and I was like, ah, yeah,
I doc, And the Doc's like, well, we could go
a couple more minutes. I'm not sure good, And I'm
telling you what. My lungs were on fire by this
point and my legs were hurting, but of course the
ball Nah, I'm good, Doc, don't worry about it. What Chris, what? Yes,
(33:11):
It's like when they tried to cut that thing out
of my foot without anesthetic. But look, I haven't I
have a problem with that admitting when there's a lot
of pain. It's like that. Remember that time I got
my face burnt. I don't know why we're talking about
this on the radio. Remember that time I got my
face burnt. When I was at get my haircut, they
opened up this haircut place and it was, you know,
(33:34):
some barber shop for men or something like that, And
after you got your hair cut, they would lean you
back in your seat and they'd put a hot, warm
tow over your face. It's wet, hot, warm towel over
your face, and they would like give you like a
hand massage or something. It was part of their thing. Yeah,
it was kind of weak, but whatever, it was part
of the thing, part of the thing. And so lady
(33:55):
must have been her first day, takes this washcloth and
it was a proximately the temperature of molten lava, and
not only that, it was soaking wet, like she hardly
rung it out, and she just just slaps that bad
boy on my face. And I can just I can
practically hear my skin sizzling underneath it. And she even asked,
(34:16):
because I guess I must have squirmed a little. She's like,
is that okay? And I'm like, oh, yeah, it's good
to go. I didn't say anything, and then I drove
right home afterwards, and I walk in and freaked out,
What happened to your face? My face is all swollen
up and red. So I do I have struggled in
the past with admitting things like that. So the fiscal
went well. I did want to tell you the eyes
(34:41):
not so much, not so much, you know, the line,
the vision test line thing where everyone can picture the
thing you have to read that's on the wall. It's
always an E on the top. And you know how
they have the lines marked, So that's line one, two, three,
three lines without glasses, three lines and numbers three. I
(35:07):
was guessing and the nurse was helping me. I was
essentially down to the big fat E and the one
below it. Finally she stops the test and she says,
I'm so embarrassed right now. She says, why don't you
go get your glasses. I had to wear my glasses
for the vision test, but then I haced it baby boom,
(35:27):
nailed it. Knew I could do it, never had a
doubt anyway. Have I talked to you about puretalk? I
love pure talk. I love that my money doesn't go
to a garbage cell phone company anymore, because for so
long it has for most of my life. My first
ever cell phone company was AT and T. How crappy
(35:48):
is that? And then I had Verizon for ages read Shosh.
I don't know how many years I had Verizon and
T Mobile. I wish I had done done that. Corporate
America started getting involved in politics a long time ago,
and the truth is that gobs of my money have
gone to evil communist causes. And now that I switched
(36:10):
to Pure Talk, I don't have to stress that at
least cell phone wise anymore. Pure talks to patriotic cell
phone company. They're giving out free Samsung Galaxy phones right
now with a qualifying plan, So make sure you get
a free phone. I have a whole thing. Pound two
five zero, say Jesse Kelly. All right, pound two five zero,
(36:32):
say Jesse Kelly. Takes ten minutes to switch, dear Top
five napper. I just saw an ad for an airbnb
where you sleep inside of a World War two submarine,
the USS Kobaya, located in Wisconsin. Immediately I thought of you.
I looked it up to make sure it was legit.
It looks like it was. Please let us know what
(36:54):
it's like, because I know you will now take your
two boys to stay in. Hopefully they don't have a
minimum hand size requirement. That's not very nice. His name
is Austin. You can count me out on that. For
a couple different reasons. I do not enjoy submarines. I've
been in one World War two submarine. I am shocked
(37:14):
at how tight it is in there. I don't even
fit down the hallway. That's one two, a World War
two submarine in Wisconsin. For some reason, I don't think
that got there naturally. Anyway, Medal of Honor Monday comes
up next, and it is going to be one you
were going to want to pay attention to. Dag gone,
mister Garcia, you don't say Medal of Honor Monday in
(37:37):
more next
This is a Jesse Kelly Show, The Jessie Kelly Show.
Let's have some fun on a Monday, an incredible Monday,
A medal of a medal of honor Monday. Easy for
(00:31):
me to say. That's coming up about an hour from now.
And we have so much going on in the country
it's hard to get to everything. But we slapped around
Columbia this weekend. That's always a good time. We're apparently
paying the Taliban millions of dollars for rubbers. Miami University
is getting back to normal. I'll tell you why. That's
(00:52):
just it matters. Just hag with me on that Haiti
doesn't want its people back, says it'll be catastrophic, making
fun of hysterical celebs. All that and so much more
coming up tonight on the world famous Jesse Kelly Show. Now,
let's begin with kind of a what's going to be
a theme tonight on the show?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Normal normal.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Can seem crazy for people who've gotten use to abnormal
part of the human condition. Let me say that again,
normal can, and in fact will seem crazy for people
who've gotten use to abnormal. You ever watch a movie,
(01:44):
read a book about somebody who had spent a lot
of time, maybe in combat or in prison or something
like that, someplace where they didn't have access to a bed,
a cushioned bed, and then you bring them into the
civilized world and they don't even sleep on the bed,
or at least they don't want to. Feels weird. I'd
(02:06):
rather sleep on the floor. Why, well, their body, their
mind got used to sleeping on something hard, and now
the bed feels weird. Now normal feels insane to that person.
And it doesn't matter how many examples you give that
person about how it's normal. Explain it to them in
(02:27):
scientific detail, why it's normal to sleep on a bed
to that human being, because their mind and body have adjusted,
Normal feels insane. Booze you know, or drugs? Do you
ever know anybody or maybe you yourself, have suffered from
some sort of substance abuse. We'll make it. We'll make
(02:48):
it about alcohol, because that's more a common one that
has visited all of us, myself included. People end up
having struggles at points in their life with alcohol. Ever
been one of those people? And you just kind of
always have a drink. If it's Friday night hanging out
with friends, you have a bunch of drinks. If it's
Monday night, long day at work, you have a drink.
(03:10):
You're going to a game, you have a drink, you're
going to a concert, you have a drink. And I'm
not criticizing any of you who have a drink when
you do these things, but for people who struggle with it, well,
of course that's what you do. You have a drink.
And then when they stop, when they're getting back to normal,
it seems crazy. Hold on, wait a minute, we have
to We're going to a Metallica concert this Friday, and
(03:34):
you're not going to drink. Wait? What normal seems insane
to people who've been conditioned to abnormal. What's happening right
now in the United States of America in the one
week old Trump administration is awesome. It is good. It
(03:55):
feels incredible. We wake up every day and for once
we can't wait to check the news on what new
good thing is happening. And they are all good things.
I want to drive that point forward. We're not all
but most of these are good things. That is good things.
Great things are happening. But to back up a little bit,
(04:17):
zoom out, if you will, what's happening right now? That's
how your government should always be. You realize that Democrat
Republican who won the election, but the things that are
happening right now, that's how it should be. There shouldn't
(04:42):
ever be any other way. But we Americans have been
so conditioned to our political leaders, mostly Democrat but some
Republicans treating this country like an open soeer, teaching other
countries around the world to you treat this country like
an open sewer. We have so accepted that as the
(05:04):
state of affairs because that's all we've ever known. Really
that now when we finally get a president who advocates
on behalf of us exclusively, it's like, whoa, I didn't
even know this was possible. But do you realize do
you realize what an indictment that is on the others?
(05:26):
I mean, yes, it's good for Trump switching things up,
and yes, yes, yeah, oh that's true, But what an
indictment that is on the others that you and me
we see normal activity from an American president and we say, wow,
America first, it's we are so back.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Uh, let's talk about Columbia because we'll do this with
a bunch of different things. Columbia countries speaking about being
the world's open sewer. For decades, the state of affairs
in the world has been this ship your dregs to America,
(06:09):
whether you are Cuba, whether you are Columbia, whether you
are Afghanistan, whether you're Yemen, wherever you happen to be.
When a Democrat gets elected, and I should be clear,
this takes place under Republicans and ramps up under Republicans
as well, so I'm not letting them off the hook.
But you know when a Democrat gets elected, but even
(06:31):
if a Republican gets elected, that you will be able
to unload the people you don't want into America. So
let's stick with Colombia. Other countries, we are not used
to this. Again, you're used to what's abnormal. I am
used to what's abnormal here in the United States of America.
We don't stress the federal budget near as much as
(06:52):
we should. But we don't generally stress it at all
because we're huge, and we're American, we're number one. We
have all the money in by ba bah bah blah.
But if you're in Colombia, if you are dealing with
a limited budget, it is very very limited. You only
have so many resources to go around so much personnel,
so much money, so much This is so much that
now pause on all this geopolitical nonsense for a moment.
(07:13):
Let me ask you something. If you would want this superpower, because,
in my opinion, what I'm about to say is the
greatest superpower nobody ever talks about. You couldn't make a
movie about it because it'd be boring. But it's the
greatest superpower in the world. Do you want to know
what it is. It's not flight, it's not invincibility, it's
not invisibility. The greatest superpower on the planet would be
(07:35):
to remove the bottom five percent in every single setting
you were in. Do you understand how close to perfect
what your life would be if on the way to
work today, on the way to school, Oh gosh, traffic.
You know, our traffic's bad. It's actually not that construction zone.
(07:55):
It's actually not because of rush hour. It's because there
are four morons on the road who were tech thing
while they were driving. They managed to slam into other people,
change lanes when they shouldn't have, and they just the
bottom five percenters have managed to screw up traffic for everybody.
Why is the airport a nightmare? Why are where are
there these delays? Those delays are their technical problems. Of
course there are technical problems, but the airport is mostly
(08:18):
a nightmare because of the employees and or travelers who
are the bottom five percent of morons and evil idiots.
And if you could remove them, it would all work
out great. Why is that party not as fun as
it should be on Friday night? Most of the people
with that party are friendly and wonderful. Why wasn't the
party great because the bottom five percent of the party
were loud obnoxious? You understand what I'm saying. Why in
(08:38):
your classroom, why did it take an extra fifteen minutes
before your teacher lets you out of class? Today, most
of the students were good to go. You had a
bottom five percent of losers, the bottom five percent of life.
If you could clean it out, and there's no magic superpower,
there's no magic button that could give you that power.
But if you could do that in your own personal life,
your own personal life would be so much better than
(09:01):
it is now. Personal life, business life, your entire life
will go back to Columbia. Why does Columbia want to
dump its most violent people onto us? Why does it
want to dump its poorest people onto us. Well, what
does it do for a country, any country of any size,
if you can take the bottom five percent, we'll call
them the bloodsuckers, whether they be criminal or poor or
(09:24):
whatever it may be. But the ones who don't actually contribute,
the ones who are a net drain. What does it
do for you if you cannot only send those people
to America? But you know, America is so full of
scumbags in the government that there's a chance not only
will you be able to send your people to America,
(09:44):
you'll probably find a senator or a president or a
member of the House who will pay you for it.
They'll find a round don't find a roundabout way to
stroke you a check and pay you to give them
your bottom five percent. And so that for for my
entire forty three years on the planet, that's been a
state of affairs in the world, no matter where you are,
(10:07):
no matter who you are. Oh, you got five bottom
five percent, Yemen, Hey, he get amount of ship? I
heard Joe Biden got elected and you simply unload the problems.
And where do you unload them? Right here? Which brings
me to what happened with Columbia and Trump's response before
(10:29):
we get to that bottom five percent probably describes you
some of your employees, doesn't it. What if? What if
you could get rid of the bottom five percent? You
think I don't sympathize. That's all I have here with
Chris and Corey bottom one percent? Really think I don't
(10:50):
need improvements. That's what zip recruiter is there for. Zip
recruiter is there so you can replace the Chris and
Cory's in your job, in your company. I should say,
stop stressing about finding that next great employee and go
to ZipRecruiter dot com slash jesse and find him. He's
(11:10):
already there waiting for you. You don't have to wait
a week, you don't have to wait a month. You
try it for free and you get matched boom instantly.
Don't let the Chris of your job drag you down.
ZipRecruiter dot com slash jesse is where you can try
it for free. Don't make the mistakes I've made. We'll
(11:33):
be back the Jesse Kelly Show. It's still real to me. Dammit,
the turnstacks. It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Monday.
Remind me well, I'm gonna remind you Medal of Honor
Monday is coming up about forty five minutes from now. Chris,
remind me to tell everybody what happened at the doctor's
(11:56):
office today. It's all we'll do that after Mettle of
Honor Monday, if you will. Back to what we were discussing,
how we as Americans we've gotten used to insanity and
when we see normalcy, we now celebrate and we cheer.
But the truth is that's how it always should be.
So over the weekend, Colombia, who's always been more than
(12:21):
happy to unload its bottom five percenters onto our country, Colombia, well,
Trump told them, hey, we got some planes coming. They're
your people. We're setting them back. Got all these Colombian
illegals here, or you're setting them back. Their president, Gustavo Petro, Well,
I'm honestly, I'm actually going to defend the guy. He's
(12:44):
used to the way things have always been in America,
or the way things have been for decades, and the
way things have been for decades under Democrats and Republicans
is you just say no, we're not taking them, and
then America looks down, starts twiddling its thumbs. Oh, dang,
that's too bad. Well, I mean, I guess we'll just
move them into some tiny town in Idaho. Nothing we
(13:06):
can do about that. But Trump said, excuse me, you're
not taking them. Uh okay, here's some twenty five percent
tariffs with fifty percent tariffs on the way. I will
shatter your country on the wheel economically. You sure you're
not going to take them? And it was not exaggerating.
I think within two hours the president of Columbia came
(13:29):
out and said, you know what, I actually will take them.
Thanks Trump, appreciate you, appreciate it very much. And we
all celebrated. We all cheered. If you followed this story,
we all cheered, Yeah, Trump really tear it to them.
They're taking them back to the Americans, and I'm not
saying you should them. Cheered. I cheered, that's great, it's
a great story. Good for Trump, well done. But pause
for a moment on that and think about how insane
(13:56):
things have been. We are celebrating an American president using
the tools at his disposal to send back the dregs
into Colombia. Now, I'm not dogging on us celebrating. I'm
(14:16):
dogging on every other president that came before him. Where
has this been? And to clarify, I realize that Democrats
are America hating communists now and most Republicans are weak.
But you realize that that Trump Columbia story we just
talked about, I'm sure you've heard about it today. That's
(14:40):
how it should be, no matter who gets elected. And
I'm not here to tell you that both parties should
be the same, but you're always gonna have different parties
in a country, different priorities, things like that. I get that,
But sending back illegals, sending illegals out of your back
(15:02):
into their home country, it's being treated as radical and
right wing and republican. That should happen under Democrats and Republicans.
That's just kind of how it's supposed to work. But
we have been so conditioned to accept that. Well, no
(15:24):
matter what, we gotta let the world just treat us
like a punching bag, no matter what. It's wild to me,
Wow to do you or jd Vance on the news, Well,
this is a country founded by immigrants. Well, this is
a country.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Founded by country.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
This is a very unique country and it was founded
by some immigrants and some settlers. But just because we
were founded by immigrants. Doesn't mean that two hundred and
forty years later that we have to have the dumbest
immigration policy.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
In the world.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Listen to how the communist on the news just regurgitates
the same communist talking point you've heard time and time again.
We're founded by immigrants. They can't even help themselves. They
are so conditioned to push the norm, to push the
America hating norm. It just comes right out of them.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
We absolutely cannot unleash thousands of unvetted people into our countries.
These people just like the guy who played a terrorist
attack in Oklahoma a few months ago. He was allegedly
properly vetted, and many people in the media and the Democratic.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Party said that he was properly vetted.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Clearly he wasn't, no, and.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
That was a very particular case. It wasn't clear if
he was radicalized when he got here or these people
are vetted and he was radicalized what he got here.
But understand, she's really really trying to protect the system.
And well, we have to play a game. In fact,
Chris Corey, we're going to replace this month's we never
used it, and we're going to come up with something.
(16:52):
And I don't know what it is yet we have
to come up with some kind of stinger for the soundboard.
Where is this communist, an evil liar or mentally handicapped,
because this woman is one of the two. Now, this
is Nora O'Donnell, Face the Nation. Let's be honest, she's
(17:15):
just an evil.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
We absolutely cannot unleash thousands of unvetted people into our countries.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
These people are these people are vetted. These people are vetted.
She knows that's a lie. You could sit and explain
to her how we take these people in from from
countries where proper vetting is not possible because these countries
don't have our documentation system. Americans are so used to
living in a civilized country they think everybody has birth
(17:42):
certificates and social security numbers in criminal records that are
centralized and things like that. But nothing could be further
from the truth. And you could explain to this face
the Nation hag that that is exactly what's going on here.
I think her name is Nora o'donnald. Don't quote me
on that, but you could explain to her that that's
the situation, but she already knows that's the situation. She
knows improper vetting is the standard. She knows you can't
(18:05):
properly vet these people. She is a communist trying to
bring about the collapse of the United States of America.
And as all communists, she knows it's her job to
lie without end and without fail. And we have simply
accepted that that's how things are supposed to be, and
that now it's radical. It's a change. Now's what we
(18:29):
should always be. I'll finish up on this. We're moving on.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Hang on the Jesse Kelly Show on air and online
at Jesse Kellyshow dot com.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Monday. Reminding
you you can email the show Jesse at Jesse kellyshow
dot com. You can leave us a voicemail eight seven
seven three seven seven four three seven three. Although not
everybody's happy.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Ye, where are you so prejudice again? Immigration? My grandparents
were an immigration and weren't good people. We don't kill,
we don't hurt, we work hard, So stop being so prejudiced.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Okay, First of all, we need to get a couple
things out of the way. First. I am prejudiced, okay,
not necessarily against immigrants or anything like that. But I
believe in discrimination. You understand that. Communist, I believe in prejudice,
you do too. I'm just the one who's honest about it.
(19:36):
So once again, allow me to explain it this way. You,
no matter who you are, communist or normal person, listening
to the sound of my voice. You you can tell
how much you love something by how much you discriminate
who gets access to that something. And if if you
(20:00):
discriminate a lot, then you love that something a lot.
If you are, well, just open it up and let
everyone in. You can convince yourself you're nice, but the
truth is you don't care about that thing. You see
a couple great examples. Well, here's an analogy. Your home.
(20:23):
I've used this one before ten o'clock tonight. There's a
knock on the door. You have your family home, and
there's a dude with a dirty wife beater and a
teardrop tattoo on his face, looking pretty rough, standing on
the front porch. You open up the door, which you
shouldn't do, especially you ladies, but all of you should
not open that door either way. If you do, happen
(20:45):
to open the door and he says, hey, man, I
want to come in mind, if I come in, put
my feet up, eat some of your food, watch TV.
What are you going to say? You're going to say no? Yes,
even you loser communists who hate watch the show. Why
are you going to say no? You're going to say
no because you have used your eyes and ears to
make assessments, make judgments about that person and you because
(21:09):
of the love you have for the people and the
things inside of your home, you have decided that person
on your front porch is not actually going to have
access to the people you love. Now, if that loser
was trying to get into someplace you didn't care about,
you would say you should definitely let him in. It
would be nice to let him in. Don't be prejudiced.
(21:31):
Isn't it the Christian thing to do to let him in?
But if he wanted into your home, you would not
let him in. Remember when the people of Martha's Vineyard
were treated to I believe it was forty eight illegals
bust to them by Ron de Santis. Did they even
last forty eight hours? They had every single one of
them on the bus. They called in the National Guard
(21:51):
and said sign a thanks for coming. Why because they
love Martha's Vineyard one of the great arguments out there.
I don't use it because it sounds like you're pointing
out Communist hypocrisy, but it's still it's great when you
when you drill it down a little bit deeper the pope.
The Pope says America is evil for expelling illegals. You
(22:12):
shouldn't do this. This is crazy. And yet I was
just at the Vatican a month ago, the in fact
might be a month ago today. I was walking inside
the walls at the Vatican and I saw airport like security,
armed guards everywhere. You could eat off the floor. I
(22:33):
walked into the Vatican and there was a homeless man
begging for food and change right outside the walls. Funny,
I walked inside the walls and he wasn't there. You
know why he wasn't there because the people inside the
Vatican don't want that dirty filth inside the walls of
the Vatican. That's why he wasn't there. It's not pointing
out hypocrisy. It shows you the Pope cares a lot
(22:54):
about the fancy walls and the domes and the statues
and the ropes and everything else, and so he does
what he discriminates on who is allowed in and who
is allowed or well who's not allowed it. And that
brings me to a couple other points on your voicemail condition.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Were you so prejudiced?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
I already explain why I'm prejudiced. I discriminate and I'm prejudiced.
I'm prejudiced against stupid people. I'm prejudiced against people who
are not born in my country, who believe they get
to pillage my country. I'm prejudiced against gingers. I'm prejudiced
against a lot of people in immigration.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
My grandparents were an immigration and.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
My grandparents were in immigration. This is why I wanted
to play this. I'm very prejudiced against stupid people. Listen, listen.
You don't even know how to get through a fifteen
second voicemail without screwing up words. You feelthy communists. Don't
(24:04):
think you're ever going to leave me one of these
voicemails and think you're going to sway me in any way,
because you're too stupid. You realize that and really being stupid.
You should be mad, not at them, not at me.
You should be mad at them because the Communists have
taken advantage of your rampant stupidity, and you sound I mean,
(24:29):
you sound like got to be an older one.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Where are you so prejudiced against immigration?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
We'll call it what Chris fifty sixty? It could be
fifty depending on how many Marlboro Reds she's burned through.
But you're not only stupid. You're older than me. You've
lived decades more than I have. You've had decades where
(24:57):
you could be acquiring knowledge, figuring out the way the
world works and the motivations behind people. But you're too
dumb and you let them take advantage of you. And
this is exactly why those of us who hear Tom
Holman and cheer when he says things like this, You're
why we cheer. Not opening up to anyone who's in
(25:20):
the country illegally and going into schools and grabbing them
does that kids? Don't? Message needs to be clear. This
consequences enter a country illegally. If we don't show this consequences,
you'll never go to fix the border problem. And listen,
one more word, communists, all of you, because we get
a bunch of these emails and voicemails. Why are you prejudice?
Why you're so racist? Let me explain that doesn't work
(25:45):
on me. You cannot use my values against me. Communists,
I will never ever ever allow you to do so.
And I understand that you you're used to dealing with
the right with a GOP however you want to call it,
who has allowed you, for the entirety of your life
(26:08):
to use their values against them. That's why you'll finally
open up a Bible for the first time and you'll
find a scripture to quote to them. Is this what
Jesus would want? That's why you'll try to accuse people
of being Hitler or a Nazi, or are prejudice or racist.
And you're used to throwing out these communist buzzwords and
(26:29):
having people on the right suck their thumb and hond
under their bed and play defense. Ah Na, I love
black people, have eva. You're never ever, ever, ever ever
going to get that with me ever. And just so
you think I'm not just being mean, I need to
explain why. You need to explain why I have no
(26:52):
regard for you as a human being. You're more of
a parasite, really a disease. If you will, blood sucking
the country. I love doing everything you can to poison
this culture, the minds of our children to wreck everything
you see. Of course, you convinced yourself you're the good
(27:12):
person in all this, but you're not. You're just a parasite.
If you will, now, let me ask you, a parasite
do you care about its opinion on anything? World affairs, sports?
I don't care? What do you ever? Would it ever
occur to you if you got a parasite. I've had
them a couple of times. Would it ever occur to
you to look down at your parasite and ask what
(27:34):
it thought of you? Of course it wouldn't. Communists, That's
how I think about you. So your accusations don't work
with me. It's not because of what you say. It's
actually because of you yourself personally. I have no regard
for you, So whatever you say doesn't matter. Does that
make sense? Good? Let's do some emails and then we'll
(27:57):
come back to Medal of honor Monday and some more
along these lines. Let's also talk about preserving memories for
life and digitizing memories for life. Let's let's be honest
about how we consume videos and pictures. Now, how do
you do it? Where do you do it? You do
it on your phone? Don't you. You do it on
(28:18):
your iPad, your phone, maybe your laptop. That's how we
like to watch things, and it's easy to organize things.
We'll put all that we took our vacation at the beach.
We put them all our pictures here. We did it
for our for our Israel trip. Remember when we all
went to Israel. Is a big family, Holy Lamb. We
have a big Israel trip photo album of videos and
things like that. Let Legacy Box do that for all
(28:41):
the pictures in your life. All those old VHS tapes,
the cam cam quarder tapes, all those things, all those
hard copies need to be professionally digitized. But who even
knows how to do that. You're going to sit there
and try to scan everything on your phone. That's crazy.
When Legacy Box will just do it for you. Legacy
Box will send you a box. You put all that
(29:02):
stuff in the box, you ship it off to them
that will ship it all back. You'll eat your hard
copies back and you get your stuff digitized so it
lasts forever. You want your great great great grandkids to
look at you on the beach. Maybe you don't want that.
If you're out of shape, do you want that though,
legacybox dot Com slash Jesse saves you fifty percent. Legacybox
(29:24):
dot com slash Jesse. We'll be back.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Miss something.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
There's a podcast, get it on.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Demand wherever podcasts are found, The Jesse Kelly Show.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
It is The Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful Monday.
Remember we have Medal of Honor Monday coming up like
ten minutes from now. I can't wait anymore. I have
to tell you right now. So I had an appointment
today at the doctor's office. Don't worry. Everything's fine, everything's fine.
(29:56):
But it was one of these extra i'll call it
an dream physical. So my dad, as you know, passed
away recently. And as I've told you that, longtime listeners
will know that on the Kelly side, the Kelly men
just don't make it very long. That they just don't.
My dad was sixty nine when he died, just like
(30:17):
two or three weeks shy of seventy, Well two weeks shy,
who's two weeks away from seventy, and he still made
it longer than his dad and his brothers. It's just
the Kelly men don't go and your old man, your
old man passing on early leads you to believe that
at least you should probably go get looked at. I
over the last three months, if I'm doing me talking here,
(30:41):
I've treated my body like a garbage disposal. Okay, nobody
in the history of mankind has ever eaten as poorly
as I've eaten over the last three months. Because food
is my thing. You know what, I can't hide it.
I love to eat. I love to eat. I eat
every dagone good thing I can get my hands on.
(31:03):
I think about food, I talk about food. I text
about food. Bob Bob yells at me when we're in
the restaurant because she catches me eyeballing everyone's meal who
walks by, and she tells everybody. She says, he looks
at food the way other men look at other women.
That's the way he looks at food. I admit it.
So I've been eating. Look, I just gave you a
long excuse. I've been eating so bad. In sweets too.
(31:25):
I don't even I'm not even huge that huge on sweets,
skittles and just cakes. I just don't even care. I'd
just been dining at all for three months. Went to
the doctor's office today. Clean Bill of health, baby a
in your stupid face, Chris, in your face, clean bill
of health. Doc said you look great, he's look at
(31:47):
what Chris was. Yes, Chris, it was a very though
in examination. No it was no. No, it wasn't that
I'm not in the navy. Okay, No, I just no,
it was fine. He didn't check the oil man, what's
wrong with you? No, But it was a thrill. I
even had to do the stress test thing like where
(32:09):
you're running on the treadmill and stuff like that, and
then they brought in I was shirtless for the stress tests,
so they attach all these things to you, and then
there was all these nurses and stuff like that in there. Well,
for three months, my cardio hasn't exactly been on point,
and I've had a lot of tacos in these three months,
a lot of tacos, and the docks sitting in there
and he's talking to me, and you know, the idea
(32:31):
of a stress test is they have to get your
heart rate to the maximum, So it's not like there's
an easy stress test. No matter what, you're gonna max
out on your art rate. So they start ramping up
the treadmill and I'm running and running and the doc
is talking to me and he's trying to make basic conversation.
And then I really couldn't talk that much anymore because
I was sucking wind. But I didn't want to look
(32:51):
like that because all the nurses were looking at me
and my shirt was off, and I was like, ah, yeah,
I doc, And the Doc's like, well, we could go
a couple more minutes. I'm not sure good, And I'm
telling you what. My lungs were on fire by this
point and my legs were hurting, but of course the
ball Nah, I'm good, Doc, don't worry about it. What Chris, what? Yes,
(33:11):
It's like when they tried to cut that thing out
of my foot without anesthetic. But look, I haven't I
have a problem with that admitting when there's a lot
of pain. It's like that. Remember that time I got
my face burnt. I don't know why we're talking about
this on the radio. Remember that time I got my
face burnt. When I was at get my haircut, they
opened up this haircut place and it was, you know,
(33:34):
some barber shop for men or something like that, And
after you got your hair cut, they would lean you
back in your seat and they'd put a hot, warm
tow over your face. It's wet, hot, warm towel over
your face, and they would like give you like a
hand massage or something. It was part of their thing. Yeah,
it was kind of weak, but whatever, it was part
of the thing, part of the thing. And so lady
(33:55):
must have been her first day, takes this washcloth and
it was a proximately the temperature of molten lava, and
not only that, it was soaking wet, like she hardly
rung it out, and she just just slaps that bad
boy on my face. And I can just I can
practically hear my skin sizzling underneath it. And she even asked,
(34:16):
because I guess I must have squirmed a little. She's like,
is that okay? And I'm like, oh, yeah, it's good
to go. I didn't say anything, and then I drove
right home afterwards, and I walk in and freaked out,
What happened to your face? My face is all swollen
up and red. So I do I have struggled in
the past with admitting things like that. So the fiscal
went well. I did want to tell you the eyes
(34:41):
not so much, not so much, you know, the line,
the vision test line thing where everyone can picture the
thing you have to read that's on the wall. It's
always an E on the top. And you know how
they have the lines marked, So that's line one, two, three,
three lines without glasses, three lines and numbers three. I
(35:07):
was guessing and the nurse was helping me. I was
essentially down to the big fat E and the one
below it. Finally she stops the test and she says,
I'm so embarrassed right now. She says, why don't you
go get your glasses. I had to wear my glasses
for the vision test, but then I haced it baby boom,
(35:27):
nailed it. Knew I could do it, never had a
doubt anyway. Have I talked to you about puretalk? I
love pure talk. I love that my money doesn't go
to a garbage cell phone company anymore, because for so
long it has for most of my life. My first
ever cell phone company was AT and T. How crappy
(35:48):
is that? And then I had Verizon for ages read Shosh.
I don't know how many years I had Verizon and
T Mobile. I wish I had done done that. Corporate
America started getting involved in politics a long time ago,
and the truth is that gobs of my money have
gone to evil communist causes. And now that I switched
(36:10):
to Pure Talk, I don't have to stress that at
least cell phone wise anymore. Pure talks to patriotic cell
phone company. They're giving out free Samsung Galaxy phones right
now with a qualifying plan, So make sure you get
a free phone. I have a whole thing. Pound two
five zero, say Jesse Kelly. All right, pound two five zero,
(36:32):
say Jesse Kelly. Takes ten minutes to switch, dear Top
five napper. I just saw an ad for an airbnb
where you sleep inside of a World War two submarine,
the USS Kobaya, located in Wisconsin. Immediately I thought of you.
I looked it up to make sure it was legit.
It looks like it was. Please let us know what
(36:54):
it's like, because I know you will now take your
two boys to stay in. Hopefully they don't have a
minimum hand size requirement. That's not very nice. His name
is Austin. You can count me out on that. For
a couple different reasons. I do not enjoy submarines. I've
been in one World War two submarine. I am shocked
(37:14):
at how tight it is in there. I don't even
fit down the hallway. That's one two, a World War
two submarine in Wisconsin. For some reason, I don't think
that got there naturally. Anyway, Medal of Honor Monday comes
up next, and it is going to be one you
were going to want to pay attention to. Dag gone,
mister Garcia, you don't say Medal of Honor Monday in
(37:37):
more next
Host
Jesse Kelly
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