TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke finally gets the high-profile media shout-out that he’s been waiting for. Andrew giggled his way through the new Naked Gun movie last night. And passengers are suing two airlines for charging them extra for window seats that don’t have windows. 

The first In & Out Burger in Washington State opened today, and it’s QUITE the scene! Plus, MSNBC’s new name, “MS NOW”,  is getting a lot of flack. And Luke and Andrew weigh-in on another musical performance conducted on an airplane stuck on a tarmac. 

Andrew’s animosity towards one of his neighbors has escalated into a “hot war”. He and Luke also dig into a very fun package someone sent to the P.O. box! 

Luke is back from his European vacation with a lot of stories to tell, most of them involving trying to return items to various stores.

Andrew accidentally introduces Luke to the “Kubrick Stare”. They also find out how one TBTL Ten got a piece of a rocketship permanently embedded under her skin.

Luke makes a very, very personal admission, and Andrew offers him zero emotional support. Andrew does have an idea (probably a bad one at that) for a log-themed mascot, though!  

Andrew is working on his comedy career and has a brand new joke to unveil. He and Luke also discuss the concept of bar tabs and Jughead Jones’ hamburger debts. And they once again (or maybe for the first time) try to solve the mystery of Old Dirty Bastard imitating Mr. Ed. 

Luke and Andrew recount their time in the world’s busiest Subway sandwich shop. They also hear from a former McDonald’s employee with a story about the strangest fast food order she ever received. 

Luke is too distracted by the many ships steaming past his studio window to do the show today. Andrew has a plan to “astroturf” a new nickname for himself. And a listener lets us know what it’s like to get a colonoscopy in a very unconventional, harrowing way.

Luke wants Andrew to say it’s okay to not wash your hands after you use the bathroom when you’re home alone. But Andrew won’t concede. We also hear from a listener who is still steamed over something that happened to her at a concert ten years ago.

Andrew saw a concerning post on Bluesky that has him worried about the future of his favorite thermostat. He and Luke also check-in on the TBTL voicemail line again, where they have messages concerning old coots at baseball games and the dangers of parents explaining swear words to their kids.

Day three of their voicemail odyssey brings Luke and Andrew to toilet-talk town, where one generous listener has a gracious bathroom offer for all TBTL Tens. Plus, Andrew is working on a screenplay that takes place in Luke’s bathroom.

In their ongoing efforts to listen to every message on their voicemail line, Luke and Andrew delve into Tens’ garbage anxiety (and the anxiety of their trash collectors.) Andrew also accidentally flirts with a listener.

The TBTL voicemail line has been filling up, so Luke and Andrew invent a fun way to listen to as many listener messages as possible. 

Luke had a personal item confiscated by the TSA this morning, and it’s all Andrew’s fault. They also learn that Luke has apparently entered the Brain Rot Internet, whatever that is. 

There was some DRAMA-RAMA on Luke’s flight yesterday, but luckily he wasn’t involved. Plus, one of the TBTL Junior Sluggers is up for a big award, but he could use your votes. 

Luke and Andrew discuss the bizarre story of police arresting Chuck E. Cheese -- in full uniform -- in the middle of the restaurant in front of kids and their parents. They also find some time to review mugshots of politicians from the early 2000s. 

One of Luke’s biggest sports heroes from his childhood died this week. He tells Andew all about the late Ryne “Ryno” Sandberg. They also discuss Deion Sanders’ surprisingly candid and inspiring announcement about his serious health situation. And Luke’s got a Jeopardy! hot take that he needs to air out.

Luke and Andrew trade notes on their respective trips home from Friendship, Wisconsin, as they settle back into post-Thon life. They also discuss a clip from an airline commercial that is going viral, and the soda jingle that Andrew says is the song of the summer.