October 13, 2025 • 29 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
On this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
On this episode of the We Don't Podcast, I want
to explain why we did not do a podcast last
week and while we took a week off.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Plus we talk about Mom's Day.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Yay.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
All right these teasers, by the way, why do we
even do them?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Great question?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Well, all right, all right, all right, without further delay,
here are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
All Right, we are back.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
For those that don't listen to the We Don't Podcast
on a weekly basis where you wait for it to
come out, we put these out on Mondays, and last
week we did not put one out and for very
good reason because last Monday you had your follow up appointment,
(01:07):
your six week follow up appointment to your cancer surgery. Yes,
I did, and everything was good.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Well, everything from my surgery is healing. Well.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yes, do you want to talk about some of the
craziest stuff like what the doctor googling or not the doctor?
There was a physicians assistant, so I guess they're they doctor,
they call them.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Doctors, they call them physician physicians assistant.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
But her you knew more than I don't know that.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
I knew more, but there is you know, it's a
little disturbing if you go in there and and and listen.
She's not the oncologist, so I completely understand. And I
do have a very rare cancer, so I get that
as well. But yeah, when you are asking hard questions
and she has to turn around and google, which, by
the way, I can google myself that when they out
(01:57):
to Google and and you know, and then she did
the right thing, wrote all my questions down, asked the doctor,
and then she told me what the doctor said. Okay,
she called me the next day.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
So it's interesting when I go to an appointment for
myself compared to what you do for your appointments. I
go to appointment for myself and I go, hey, which
you think the Alliance game?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You know, man, it's great outside, like I talk about
everything but my health because I'm so worried about talking
about my health. You get in there and you're like,
MDRNA point five six seven, like you have all this
stuff out. And it was, honestly, it was almost mind
boggling to me that I felt like, you know, I was,
you know, being talked to by two doctors in there.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Well, I'm the type of person, excuse me, that I
research everything, and with this cancer, it's hard because there's
not a lot of research on it because again it's
a very rare form. Not a lot of people have it.
Two to five percent of ovarian cancers is what I have,
of course, And so there are a couple of doctors
(03:05):
around the country that not specialize but do more research
in it. So I have decided I'm just going to
reach out to them and see if I can get
a telehealth appointment with them, but and just to get answers.
Not that I'm not because honestly, I think my care
at U of M was amazing. My oncologist is brilliant.
(03:27):
But again she doesn't specialize in this cancer, and so
and I don't you know, I don't expect her to.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
But what is the percentage of people that have this
form of ovarian cancer?
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Did you play the lottery?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
I know I should. I mean I probably live.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
So don't you always love that I am the one
that always says I've been told this is the wildest
Now do.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
You know what I love? I literally just said it
was two to five percent, Like I don't know five
seconds ago and then he just asked me, well, I
was having you reiterated for the listener because he doesn't listen.
Welcome to my world.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
But we're going to, by the way, label this as
two to five percent. That's what it's going to be.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Five So yeah, So you know, I spend a lot
of time online researching as much as I can. I
spend a lot of time in this Facebook group that
I belong to with women that have the same cancer
and reading over their experiences and so within the cancer
(04:31):
that I have, their different types of it to make
it even more confusing and more crazy. So I was
expecting a little bit more information. And what I also
love about them is if they don't know, because one
of the questions I had, she just didn't know the
answer because there's not enough research on it. And so
I respect the fact that the answer is I don't know.
(04:53):
You know, does it suck? Yes? But I respect the
fact that they can say. And that's another thing, by
the way, I'm I can't put all of my not trust,
but like I think, we have to remember that doctors, physicians, assicians, nurses,
the whole healthcare they're all human they too can make mistakes.
They don't know everything, and so I think I have
(05:16):
to give a little bit of grace, you know, and
that because they do make mistakes, they don't know and
that's okay.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
One place you could go it does not make a mistake.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Where chat GPT, you know, maybe maybe no, because I listen,
I've chatchepet' this to death as well.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
So I wonder chat GEPT for doctors is just a
pain in the ass like it used to be. Remember
everybody would always say, don't go.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
To what the hell was that site? WebMD WebMD They
hated when you'd go to webmdll.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
I think doctors hate that anyway. But I will tell
you this. I did have a doctor tell me that
if I wanted to know what my stage gene, what's
going to be, So when they stage you for your cancer,
whether it's one through four, one ABC, whatever, put in
my report, my pathology report, put it into chat GBT,
(06:12):
and it will most likely give you the correct staging.
And she said, because we have been playing around with
it and we use it and more than not, it's
exactly how we're going to stage.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
And for you it was same.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
It was yeah, it.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Was exactly all right.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
So we went to the doctor's appointment and we sat there,
we uh had the conversation, and you got frustrated. Something
that frustrates you is you don't you know, you don't
like the uncertainty of this. You are a person that
likes to have everything planned. You are a person that
(06:52):
likes to know exactly what's going to be ahead of you.
And I get the idea that there's a difference between
you know, what we're doing on Saturday and the rest
of my life. Is this cancer coming back or a
form of cancer coming back?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Right?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
But I do have to tell you that one of
the things that I was so impressed with you about
throughout the whole time that you were pre your appointment
and then when you're doing a lot of your healing
in the beginning, was your focus was not to think
of the negative, like you were not going to think
of negative A couple.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Of days, I would go there, I would go to
the dark side. And you knew that because one time
you asked me how I was doing, and I said,
do you really want to know? And you said yes,
And mistake on your part because I really told you
how I was feeling and it gave you anxiety, you
had to get up and walk around.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Well, because I never see you panicked, Yeah, and you've
seen panic.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Well yeah, but I but I think that that's okay,
Like I think I can let myself go to that
dark space. I don't stay. But you know, have I
had a couple of bad days, Yes? Have I had
some great days? Yes? You know. So I'm excited to
be in the mind space one day when it doesn't
consume me, the unknown does not consume me, the waiting
(08:13):
game does not consume me. Unfortunately, with this cancer, what
they say is it's not if, it's when, and so
it's not if it comes back, it's when it comes back.
So I meet. But that's also not one hundred percent either,
and so maybe I'm in the percentage that it never
comes back. So it's just scary. It's a scary place
(08:37):
to be, Like, am I going to die from cancer?
Or will I die from a car accident or natural causes?
If you drive with me, sure, because you're texting. But yeah,
So it's just I never thought that I would have cancer,
and so some days it takes me to a really weird,
(08:57):
weird place and I I am excited when I don't
go there, excited for the day when I don't go
there anymore, or it's less and less when I go there,
I'm excited for it not to consume me, and I
know I'll get there.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Do you like when people, and it seems to be
happening all the time now see you and come up
to you and start talking to you about it or
acknowledging the cancer.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Because I'm the type of person forever.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
That loved talking about all your ailments.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Well I know, but I loved talking to people and
having people walk up to me and know that I
you know what I do for a living and come up.
You've always been one that likes the anonymity. You don't
like to be acknowledged or recognized. I mean, I guess
you like to be acknowledged, you just don't want to
be recognized. And I've noticed that we this weekend went
(09:54):
to a bunch of different places, but we also over
the course of the last week, even going to ann
Arbor too. You have m Yeah, there were people that
walked up that that had recognized I don't.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I don't mind, because we put it out there and
I talk about it, and I do not mind talking
about it. What And it's so funny. I was talking
to someone this morning about it. I don't want to
be known as a cancer patient.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
I thought about that with you.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
I don't which I am right now, you know, and
I am a I am a patient that has cancer.
So yes, I don't, but I don't want that to
be my identity. I again, we talked about this for
a reason. We have a platform. You have created a
huge platform, and then we have a little platform with
(10:43):
we don't and somehow I will make this work or
bring bring awareness. I of course want to bring awareness
to it. I just don't know exactly how. And I
don't want it to be Chelsea cancer patient or Chelsea cancer.
I just don't like that word. Is that. It's my
(11:07):
reality right now, you know, and it actually forever will
be my reality that I had ovarian cancer, have ovarian cancer.
So but I just don't want that to be me
as a whole. So it's a part of me, for sure,
but it's not me as a whole.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
You've always been one that has always looked good. You
always look amazing. You look amazing right now. Like in
normally when people think cancer, the first thing that they
think of is that you've gone.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Through chemos theory, right and right, you know, you.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Lose your hair in stright, so when people do see you,
they're blown away.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
To see well, that's the first thing they say, Oh
my gosh, you look so good or and then they'll say,
and you looked so good before we found out you
had cancer, which I yeah, I do not have to
have chemo, I do not have to have radiation. I'm
lucky that right now, surgery took care of my cancer
and hopefully, knock on wood, this is just all I'll
(12:05):
ever have.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Today, which honestly is the scariest thing for me to
know that you know, and we've mentioned this numerous times
on this podcast but also on my show, that it
was such a hidden thing because you know, you did
have some symptoms, but you didn't even know what those
symptoms were from.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
You thought they were just you know, being tired.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
But it is wild to know that you could be
walking around and have cancer but.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Not know it.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
All right, I want I'm gonna get the cancer out
of the way. Enough of the I'm tired of all
the accolades you get.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
It's supposed to be very hard for you now, I'm
getting an attention.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Now, I'm Mojo Chelsea's husband.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Now now it's going to be back to the Hall
of Fame. We gotcha.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, come on, do you understand that? Actually, be quite
honest with you. We'll get into that on another podcast maybe.
I everybody keeps asking me, you're looking forward to it,
You're looking forward to it. I am not looking forward
to it, So we'll talk more about it. It has
nothing to do with anything other than I don't as
(13:12):
much as I like to be the center of attime,
center of attention, I'm that guy that hates to open
up birthday gifts in front of people. So but let's
talk about Mom's Day. We went to Mom's Day up
at Michigan State. So Luke's fraternity had Mom's Day. And
when I say we like, why why am I going?
Because I'm the biggest motherfucker in the world.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
That's why. I I know I was bad to say that.
Hopefully you didn't listen with your kids in the car, right,
and if you are listening with.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Your kids in the car, okay, anyway, going, fuck, okay.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Go ahead, I'm sorry, I don't know, I'm crazy. I
went to carry your bag and to make sure that
you were.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
I couldn't make it easy. I could not lift past
a certain amount. So up until the point I went,
they told me no lifting anything over a gallon of milk,
which I think was eight pounds, So carrying my bag
and all that stuff, and I did not want to
not be there, and you know, making sure that I
(14:11):
sat down, which the boys wherever we were at the
fraternity house, they had a chair for me at the bar.
They went ahead and they had a whole like little
section sectioned off for me and a couple of the
moms like it was really sweet. And Luke was right
next to me the whole time. Well in Harper's he
was up at the bar a little bit, but more
(14:32):
than not, he was making sure that everything was okay
and I was good and it was a lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
What was it like for you? What was being there?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
What did it mean for you this year compared to
past years of doing it?
Speaker 4 (14:45):
You know, well, I think everything is going to be
a little bit sweeter this year, for sure. All of
those little moments, I know, if they wouldn't talk about
it anymore, but having getting cancer, getting a cancer diagnosis,
I would say for me has made me realize what's
(15:07):
important and what isn't and what you should. Well, right
now I'm worried about other things. But really, and that's
the other thing I'm sure I'm gonna come into really
realizing what I should worry about and what I shouldn't,
what I can control and what I cannot. That's a
huge thing for me because I am a big control
person and everything has been taken away from me with that.
(15:30):
So it does make me appreciate moments for sure. I
think it's and I think with Luke it was different
for him too.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
You know, one thing I loved was that you were
there because you couldn't be at parents' weekend.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
Right a couple of years messed. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Also the fact that it kind of spurred you into
a last week and a half of you, and you
even acknowledged this when we were out the following week
where you said, Chelsea's.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Back, like I'm back. Yeah, but it was It really
kind of made me think you were back.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
A little bit different, but I'm back.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
I don't think you're ever the same person that you
were before because you see everything in a different light. Yeah,
But so yeah, I'm back, but I'm a little some
Chelsea two point zero now, so watch out?
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Oh jeez, is this like Chelsea? I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Even more, even more because not only not only did
I turn fifty and I'm fifty one, so they say
after fifty it's just zero fox, but put a cancer
diagnosis on top of that, like you are in trouble.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
By the way, if you are adding up the F bombs.
I've said, what three? You've said?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Now one? So that's good. I like it.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Okay, all right, so I want to I want to
ask you questions about the boys, okay, because it was
wild to be there and see Luke and I did
not come with you guys to the parents weekend stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
I went to dinner with.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
You guys weekend or not parents. I'm the mom And
it's funny. There were two. I told look at one point,
maybe we should call your dad, because there were a
couple of dads at the fraternity house and then at Harper's.
But we didn't call you.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
We just and I didn't want to know.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
But then we all went to dinner together, which was nice.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
It was very nice, but but it was one of
those things where I was I literally had an anxiety
worrying about you. And it's weird because you know, normally
I'm not the one that that gets anxiety or gets
to do I'm not the worry person. Yeah, I don't
think about you much at all, but I was, but
I did I and I kind of had a little
(17:45):
bit of that, and then obviously I had blow blood sugar.
I was like, oh my god, crazy, but it was
it was neat to see Luke and his buddies and
they came back with you to the hotel and they
were all messed up.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Tell me about Tell me what you think, because I was.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I was thinking about this with the boys. Joe's college
experience in Jake's college experience is totally different than Luke's.
I remember going to parents' weekend for Joe. I don't
remember ever going to a parent's weekend for Jacob, and
I think we did, but I don't think that there
was much of other than I just.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Remember going to a vis quote unquote parents weekend for Joe,
because I think we did.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
We went to orientation, but we would go in town
and visit a bunch.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Yeah, but that wasn't parents weekend. That was being an
over zealous parent and we were just there all the
time we had and then but he wanted us there. Yeah,
when are you coming? When you come in, I think
Jacob was like, please don't come, Please don't come. Kind
I kind of let them lead that way, and I
(18:52):
almost regret, not almost, I do regret in the sense
that we probably should have told Jacob, Okay, we're going
to come like every other month, because I think maybe
we gave him a little too much of independence where
he's like, yeah, I don't need Joe. Yeah, but he's
that kind of kid anyway. He likes his independence and
he likes.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
To have Do you think he feels like he was neglected?
I wonder I wonder about it too. Yeah, I'd love
to ask him that question. And matter of fact, we
should ask him.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
That, Jacob, we know you're listening, so just send me
a text and let.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Me know, because I do, and I don't think it
was any bit of intentionality to it.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Now. We would when we would go in to visit.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Joe, Joe would come to the hotel and stay with us,
like he freaking sleep in the bed with us if
he could, Jacob, we would actually set plans like, hey,
we're going to take you shopping or we're going to
go get dinner or whatever the deal is. And he
was fine with, honestly seeing us if we went in
on a Friday, left on a Sunday. He was fine
(19:50):
with seeing us one day and that was Saturday. Luke's
a lot like that though, too. Luke and Jacob are
much more similar than Joe and Jacob.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
And Luke well in that in that way, and it's
interest because.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
When we go down to Tampa to visit and we're
we're down there, Joe does, what are we doing today?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yeah, And it gets to a point where it's like
there's times where you and I go down to Tampa
and I want to spend time with you, and it's
Joe's like, no, this is my time to see my parents.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Yeah, he has a lot of bit different.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
What do you like better?
Speaker 4 (20:31):
I love it all. I love the fact that I've
raised kids that want to spend time with me, and
I love the fact that I've also raised kids that
feel very independent and they know who they are and
they can survive without us. I think that that's that
is the end goal, is you're raising kids who can
go out in the world and you know, they're going
to be fine without you. I think a lot of
(20:53):
it too, is might just be birth order. The firstborn
is probably a little bit more clingier.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Is it, and the baby Usually you think that the
firstborn would be the one that would just be gone.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
You're firstborn, I know, do you like? Well? I used to, and.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
But I when we lived in Arizona, I was with
my I would see my mom every day. When we
first moved, I was on the phone with my mom constantly.
I've been gone for twenty five years, so it's hard
to Yeah, but I mean, if I could live again
by my parents, I would, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah, I look at all three exactly the same way
you do. But I do think that part of me
wants to and they actually Jake's the only one that
listens to this, or he still listens to it. I
want to do trips with each one of them again,
like we did when they were younger, and I want
(21:46):
you and I. I think it'd be kind of cool
if you and I did the Hey, let's take you know,
let's just go even for a night or two nights,
you know, somewhere or do something, because I do want
to spend time with her though they have children.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
But it's hard though, because they the older two are
in their careers. Yeah, you know, Joe is doing his
radio thing, and Jacob is a psychologist. He has clients.
It's not like we can just say hey me, that's
like it's a real thing now, Like he has to
put in for a vacation time, he has to they
both do. It's so Luke, we can just grab him
(22:21):
and go. But it's hard tell.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
This to a lot of my friends who's if your
kids are in this category, you can relate to this.
They have younger kids. A lot of my friends have
younger kids and their kids are like grade school, middle school,
high school. And I keep trying to explain to them
how it was for us where you and Jacob were
really close, and Joe and I were really close, and
(22:46):
I would go to a lot of sporting events with Joe.
Jacob not so much because he was not a big
sports kid. And you said to me, hey, you got
to have some kind of thing that you and Jacob
do together. And we started doing all the scary stuff.
And this time of the year was kind of cool
because we would go to scary movies or we would
(23:06):
go to hunted houses or we even did trips down
to Florida to Universal and Halloween hornites, And man, I'm
so happy that you did that as a mom, that
you saw that, because I don't think that I have
the connection that I wish I did, you know, with Jacob,
(23:28):
and I wish I would have done it when he
was younger.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Yeah, that's okay because you did it. When you did it,
and you know, you here's the thing you can't wish
because and then ruminate and live in that. So change it.
You did change it, and then continue to keep on
changing it. Can you like? That's the thing with parenting
is always trying, especially with older kids, like you have
(23:52):
to try to find something a way to connect. It
could be harder, but you know, even it's as simple
as going and visiting them and just having one on
one time alone with them. It's harder, by the way,
when your kids are adults and then they have significant others,
because you don't want to leave the significant others out
(24:15):
because you do want to spend alone time with your
adult children, but you also want to make sure it's hard.
That's a hard thing.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
But the thing that I regret and makes me.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Feel like and this is why I tell friends of mine,
you know, hey, I don't care how you feel, you
got to do it.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I would come home exhausted all the time from waking.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Up early in the morning, and I never let that
exhaustion level ever get to a point where it was
too much. If it was something I wanted to do,
and the stuff that I didn't want to do or
didn't you know, find to be something that I was
really that interested in, I never searched out. And there
were moments I will never forget this. There are moments
(24:59):
when I would come home from work and I felt
like Jacob was always active, like he was always doing stuff,
or he was up in his room, and there was
never moments where I should have, you know, got off
the couch, you know, or got up from a nap
and took him somewhere, you know, went and did something
(25:20):
with him that he would you know, would want to do,
even just watching him climb a tree, you know, which
is something that I always remember him doing.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Well, that's the thing we always do as parents is again,
we should have done this, we should have done that. Literally,
there is nothing you can do to change that. You
can sit there and feel sorry for yourself and be
upset that you did that, or you can try to
make something different.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Yeah, but I also think that we can hear somebody
that's talking about these things. And this is where I
go with this. You know, listening to this podcast, and
if you have that child that you don't feel like
you have a complete connection with, find the moments that
you can. I have to really do that, because I
(26:10):
really do think I would, and I had people that were.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Just like that with me, and some of them was
my dad. My dad, and I.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
Didn't have Yeah, but that's that's what I'm saying. And
by the way, every parent is going to have a regret,
many regrets. We're all gonna have many regrets. And it's
funny because, like we always say to people, enjoy it
because it goes by so fast, and do this because
we didn't do it and now we regret it. When
the truth is it's gonna be the same thing. We
(26:40):
can we can pound into people and tell them enjoy
every day when you're in the moment. It's really hard
to enjoy seventeen different schedules going a million different ways
because you don't see the joy in that. What you
see is the frustration, your exhaustion. You don't get to
see the joy in that until it's gone normal, really
(27:01):
really normal. And I think that it's okay for people
like Jeez, Louise, can I just catch a break? I
would give anything to go to the bathroom by myself.
I would give anything just to go get a hair
appointment when I want because I don't have to make
it around everyone else's schedules, or go to the grocery
store by myself and not having a million kids behind me.
(27:22):
But I think because when you're in the moment, it's overwhelming.
But that's the beauty of life, you know that everyone experiences.
And I don't know I was talking to about it
because I said, I need to stop telling people to
enjoy the moment, because you want to know why. Sometimes
it's not great. If it's sucky, go ahead say it's sucky.
(27:45):
You know tomorrow's a new day or there's a new
moment coming. But when you're in it and you're so stressed,
that is a real thing, and that's okay. It will
evolve and it will change what I hope for you,
because I completely get that whole thing with Jake, But
I see how upset it makes you. And I don't
want you to have to carry that forever it happened.
(28:08):
We cannot change that. And so just I think, forgive yourself.
You're not perfect, and you know what you did change,
You did things to change it, and maybe you should
look at that and celebrate that, versus live in the
sadness of what you didn't do. You know, and you
(28:30):
are so lucky that you have the opportunity to have
an amazing relationship with an amazing child that he is now, like,
we're so lucky that they our kids still want to
be around us. We're so lucky that they still want
to have a relationship with us, because a lot of
parents are not afforded that. And I think that's what
(28:53):
you have to focus on, and that's what you have
to be happy with.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
But do I have to be around Joe as much as?
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Oh please?
Speaker 2 (29:02):
I do love being around all of the boys. I
love when the boys are all together and there around
and I'm the butt of their jokes.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
I actually do. I really I love that. I love
that they all have such wicked senses of humor.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
That they are funny.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
We're very, very very lucky funny you though.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Because they're scared of me. They know I can give
it right back, so they're scared.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
I love it.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
I instilled that in him.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Jacob, if you are listening to this, I love you, buddy, but.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
Not as much as I love you. I love you more.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I'm the one that was sending all that money every
single month. All right?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
That does it for this episode of That We Don't Podcast.
Two to three percent
Speaker 4 (29:52):
Two to five stamped on my forehead
Welcome to the We Don't Podcast, starring husband and wife
Mojo from Mojo in the Morning and his better half Chelsea.
On this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
On this episode of the We Don't Podcast, I want
to explain why we did not do a podcast last
week and while we took a week off.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Plus we talk about Mom's Day.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Yay.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
All right these teasers, by the way, why do we
even do them?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Great question?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Well, all right, all right, all right, without further delay,
here are Mojo and Chelsea.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
All Right, we are back.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
For those that don't listen to the We Don't Podcast
on a weekly basis where you wait for it to
come out, we put these out on Mondays, and last
week we did not put one out and for very
good reason because last Monday you had your follow up appointment,
(01:07):
your six week follow up appointment to your cancer surgery. Yes,
I did, and everything was good.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Well, everything from my surgery is healing. Well.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yes, do you want to talk about some of the
craziest stuff like what the doctor googling or not the doctor?
There was a physicians assistant, so I guess they're they doctor,
they call them.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Doctors, they call them physician physicians assistant.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
But her you knew more than I don't know that.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
I knew more, but there is you know, it's a
little disturbing if you go in there and and and listen.
She's not the oncologist, so I completely understand. And I
do have a very rare cancer, so I get that
as well. But yeah, when you are asking hard questions
and she has to turn around and google, which, by
the way, I can google myself that when they out
(01:57):
to Google and and you know, and then she did
the right thing, wrote all my questions down, asked the doctor,
and then she told me what the doctor said. Okay,
she called me the next day.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
So it's interesting when I go to an appointment for
myself compared to what you do for your appointments. I
go to appointment for myself and I go, hey, which
you think the Alliance game?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You know, man, it's great outside, like I talk about
everything but my health because I'm so worried about talking
about my health. You get in there and you're like,
MDRNA point five six seven, like you have all this
stuff out. And it was, honestly, it was almost mind
boggling to me that I felt like, you know, I was,
you know, being talked to by two doctors in there.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Well, I'm the type of person, excuse me, that I
research everything, and with this cancer, it's hard because there's
not a lot of research on it because again it's
a very rare form. Not a lot of people have it.
Two to five percent of ovarian cancers is what I have,
of course, And so there are a couple of doctors
(03:05):
around the country that not specialize but do more research
in it. So I have decided I'm just going to
reach out to them and see if I can get
a telehealth appointment with them, but and just to get answers.
Not that I'm not because honestly, I think my care
at U of M was amazing. My oncologist is brilliant.
(03:27):
But again she doesn't specialize in this cancer, and so
and I don't you know, I don't expect her to.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
But what is the percentage of people that have this
form of ovarian cancer?
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Did you play the lottery?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
I know I should. I mean I probably live.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
So don't you always love that I am the one
that always says I've been told this is the wildest
Now do.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
You know what I love? I literally just said it
was two to five percent, Like I don't know five
seconds ago and then he just asked me, well, I
was having you reiterated for the listener because he doesn't listen.
Welcome to my world.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
But we're going to, by the way, label this as
two to five percent. That's what it's going to be.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Five So yeah, So you know, I spend a lot
of time online researching as much as I can. I
spend a lot of time in this Facebook group that
I belong to with women that have the same cancer
and reading over their experiences and so within the cancer
(04:31):
that I have, their different types of it to make
it even more confusing and more crazy. So I was
expecting a little bit more information. And what I also
love about them is if they don't know, because one
of the questions I had, she just didn't know the
answer because there's not enough research on it. And so
I respect the fact that the answer is I don't know.
(04:53):
You know, does it suck? Yes? But I respect the
fact that they can say. And that's another thing, by
the way, I'm I can't put all of my not trust,
but like I think, we have to remember that doctors, physicians, assicians, nurses,
the whole healthcare they're all human they too can make mistakes.
They don't know everything, and so I think I have
(05:16):
to give a little bit of grace, you know, and
that because they do make mistakes, they don't know and
that's okay.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
One place you could go it does not make a mistake.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Where chat GPT, you know, maybe maybe no, because I listen,
I've chatchepet' this to death as well.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
So I wonder chat GEPT for doctors is just a
pain in the ass like it used to be. Remember
everybody would always say, don't go.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
To what the hell was that site? WebMD WebMD They
hated when you'd go to webmdll.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
I think doctors hate that anyway. But I will tell
you this. I did have a doctor tell me that
if I wanted to know what my stage gene, what's
going to be, So when they stage you for your cancer,
whether it's one through four, one ABC, whatever, put in
my report, my pathology report, put it into chat GBT,
(06:12):
and it will most likely give you the correct staging.
And she said, because we have been playing around with
it and we use it and more than not, it's
exactly how we're going to stage.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
And for you it was same.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
It was yeah, it.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Was exactly all right.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
So we went to the doctor's appointment and we sat there,
we uh had the conversation, and you got frustrated. Something
that frustrates you is you don't you know, you don't
like the uncertainty of this. You are a person that
likes to have everything planned. You are a person that
(06:52):
likes to know exactly what's going to be ahead of you.
And I get the idea that there's a difference between
you know, what we're doing on Saturday and the rest
of my life. Is this cancer coming back or a
form of cancer coming back?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Right?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
But I do have to tell you that one of
the things that I was so impressed with you about
throughout the whole time that you were pre your appointment
and then when you're doing a lot of your healing
in the beginning, was your focus was not to think
of the negative, like you were not going to think
of negative A couple.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Of days, I would go there, I would go to
the dark side. And you knew that because one time
you asked me how I was doing, and I said,
do you really want to know? And you said yes,
And mistake on your part because I really told you
how I was feeling and it gave you anxiety, you
had to get up and walk around.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Well, because I never see you panicked, Yeah, and you've
seen panic.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Well yeah, but I but I think that that's okay,
Like I think I can let myself go to that
dark space. I don't stay. But you know, have I
had a couple of bad days, Yes? Have I had
some great days? Yes? You know. So I'm excited to
be in the mind space one day when it doesn't
consume me, the unknown does not consume me, the waiting
(08:13):
game does not consume me. Unfortunately, with this cancer, what
they say is it's not if, it's when, and so
it's not if it comes back, it's when it comes back.
So I meet. But that's also not one hundred percent either,
and so maybe I'm in the percentage that it never
comes back. So it's just scary. It's a scary place
(08:37):
to be, Like, am I going to die from cancer?
Or will I die from a car accident or natural causes?
If you drive with me, sure, because you're texting. But yeah,
So it's just I never thought that I would have cancer,
and so some days it takes me to a really weird,
(08:57):
weird place and I I am excited when I don't
go there, excited for the day when I don't go
there anymore, or it's less and less when I go there,
I'm excited for it not to consume me, and I
know I'll get there.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Do you like when people, and it seems to be
happening all the time now see you and come up
to you and start talking to you about it or
acknowledging the cancer.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Because I'm the type of person forever.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
That loved talking about all your ailments.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Well I know, but I loved talking to people and
having people walk up to me and know that I
you know what I do for a living and come up.
You've always been one that likes the anonymity. You don't
like to be acknowledged or recognized. I mean, I guess
you like to be acknowledged, you just don't want to
be recognized. And I've noticed that we this weekend went
(09:54):
to a bunch of different places, but we also over
the course of the last week, even going to ann
Arbor too. You have m Yeah, there were people that
walked up that that had recognized I don't.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I don't mind, because we put it out there and
I talk about it, and I do not mind talking
about it. What And it's so funny. I was talking
to someone this morning about it. I don't want to
be known as a cancer patient.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
I thought about that with you.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
I don't which I am right now, you know, and
I am a I am a patient that has cancer.
So yes, I don't, but I don't want that to
be my identity. I again, we talked about this for
a reason. We have a platform. You have created a
huge platform, and then we have a little platform with
(10:43):
we don't and somehow I will make this work or
bring bring awareness. I of course want to bring awareness
to it. I just don't know exactly how. And I
don't want it to be Chelsea cancer patient or Chelsea cancer.
I just don't like that word. Is that. It's my
(11:07):
reality right now, you know, and it actually forever will
be my reality that I had ovarian cancer, have ovarian cancer.
So but I just don't want that to be me
as a whole. So it's a part of me, for sure,
but it's not me as a whole.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
You've always been one that has always looked good. You
always look amazing. You look amazing right now. Like in
normally when people think cancer, the first thing that they
think of is that you've gone.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Through chemos theory, right and right, you know, you.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Lose your hair in stright, so when people do see you,
they're blown away.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
To see well, that's the first thing they say, Oh
my gosh, you look so good or and then they'll say,
and you looked so good before we found out you
had cancer, which I yeah, I do not have to
have chemo, I do not have to have radiation. I'm
lucky that right now, surgery took care of my cancer
and hopefully, knock on wood, this is just all I'll
(12:05):
ever have.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Today, which honestly is the scariest thing for me to
know that you know, and we've mentioned this numerous times
on this podcast but also on my show, that it
was such a hidden thing because you know, you did
have some symptoms, but you didn't even know what those
symptoms were from.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
You thought they were just you know, being tired.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
But it is wild to know that you could be
walking around and have cancer but.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Not know it.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
All right, I want I'm gonna get the cancer out
of the way. Enough of the I'm tired of all
the accolades you get.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
It's supposed to be very hard for you now, I'm
getting an attention.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Now, I'm Mojo Chelsea's husband.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Now now it's going to be back to the Hall
of Fame. We gotcha.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, come on, do you understand that? Actually, be quite
honest with you. We'll get into that on another podcast maybe.
I everybody keeps asking me, you're looking forward to it,
You're looking forward to it. I am not looking forward
to it, So we'll talk more about it. It has
nothing to do with anything other than I don't as
(13:12):
much as I like to be the center of attime,
center of attention, I'm that guy that hates to open
up birthday gifts in front of people. So but let's
talk about Mom's Day. We went to Mom's Day up
at Michigan State. So Luke's fraternity had Mom's Day. And
when I say we like, why why am I going?
Because I'm the biggest motherfucker in the world.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
That's why. I I know I was bad to say that.
Hopefully you didn't listen with your kids in the car, right,
and if you are listening with.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Your kids in the car, okay, anyway, going, fuck, okay.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Go ahead, I'm sorry, I don't know, I'm crazy. I
went to carry your bag and to make sure that
you were.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
I couldn't make it easy. I could not lift past
a certain amount. So up until the point I went,
they told me no lifting anything over a gallon of milk,
which I think was eight pounds, So carrying my bag
and all that stuff, and I did not want to
not be there, and you know, making sure that I
(14:11):
sat down, which the boys wherever we were at the
fraternity house, they had a chair for me at the bar.
They went ahead and they had a whole like little
section sectioned off for me and a couple of the
moms like it was really sweet. And Luke was right
next to me the whole time. Well in Harper's he
was up at the bar a little bit, but more
(14:32):
than not, he was making sure that everything was okay
and I was good and it was a lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
What was it like for you? What was being there?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
What did it mean for you this year compared to
past years of doing it?
Speaker 4 (14:45):
You know, well, I think everything is going to be
a little bit sweeter this year, for sure. All of
those little moments, I know, if they wouldn't talk about
it anymore, but having getting cancer, getting a cancer diagnosis,
I would say for me has made me realize what's
(15:07):
important and what isn't and what you should. Well, right
now I'm worried about other things. But really, and that's
the other thing I'm sure I'm gonna come into really
realizing what I should worry about and what I shouldn't,
what I can control and what I cannot. That's a
huge thing for me because I am a big control
person and everything has been taken away from me with that.
(15:30):
So it does make me appreciate moments for sure. I
think it's and I think with Luke it was different
for him too.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
You know, one thing I loved was that you were
there because you couldn't be at parents' weekend.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
Right a couple of years messed. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Also the fact that it kind of spurred you into
a last week and a half of you, and you
even acknowledged this when we were out the following week
where you said, Chelsea's.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Back, like I'm back. Yeah, but it was It really
kind of made me think you were back.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
A little bit different, but I'm back.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
I don't think you're ever the same person that you
were before because you see everything in a different light. Yeah,
But so yeah, I'm back, but I'm a little some
Chelsea two point zero now, so watch out?
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Oh jeez, is this like Chelsea? I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Even more, even more because not only not only did
I turn fifty and I'm fifty one, so they say
after fifty it's just zero fox, but put a cancer
diagnosis on top of that, like you are in trouble.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
By the way, if you are adding up the F bombs.
I've said, what three? You've said?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Now one? So that's good. I like it.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Okay, all right, so I want to I want to
ask you questions about the boys, okay, because it was
wild to be there and see Luke and I did
not come with you guys to the parents weekend stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
I went to dinner with.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
You guys weekend or not parents. I'm the mom And
it's funny. There were two. I told look at one point,
maybe we should call your dad, because there were a
couple of dads at the fraternity house and then at Harper's.
But we didn't call you.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
We just and I didn't want to know.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
But then we all went to dinner together, which was nice.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
It was very nice, but but it was one of
those things where I was I literally had an anxiety
worrying about you. And it's weird because you know, normally
I'm not the one that that gets anxiety or gets
to do I'm not the worry person. Yeah, I don't
think about you much at all, but I was, but
I did I and I kind of had a little
(17:45):
bit of that, and then obviously I had blow blood sugar.
I was like, oh my god, crazy, but it was
it was neat to see Luke and his buddies and
they came back with you to the hotel and they
were all messed up.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Tell me about Tell me what you think, because I was.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I was thinking about this with the boys. Joe's college
experience in Jake's college experience is totally different than Luke's.
I remember going to parents' weekend for Joe. I don't
remember ever going to a parent's weekend for Jacob, and
I think we did, but I don't think that there
was much of other than I just.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Remember going to a vis quote unquote parents weekend for Joe,
because I think we did.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
We went to orientation, but we would go in town
and visit a bunch.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Yeah, but that wasn't parents weekend. That was being an
over zealous parent and we were just there all the
time we had and then but he wanted us there. Yeah,
when are you coming? When you come in, I think
Jacob was like, please don't come, Please don't come. Kind
I kind of let them lead that way, and I
(18:52):
almost regret, not almost, I do regret in the sense
that we probably should have told Jacob, Okay, we're going
to come like every other month, because I think maybe
we gave him a little too much of independence where
he's like, yeah, I don't need Joe. Yeah, but he's
that kind of kid anyway. He likes his independence and
he likes.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
To have Do you think he feels like he was neglected?
I wonder I wonder about it too. Yeah, I'd love
to ask him that question. And matter of fact, we
should ask him.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
That, Jacob, we know you're listening, so just send me
a text and let.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Me know, because I do, and I don't think it
was any bit of intentionality to it.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Now. We would when we would go in to visit.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Joe, Joe would come to the hotel and stay with us,
like he freaking sleep in the bed with us if
he could, Jacob, we would actually set plans like, hey,
we're going to take you shopping or we're going to
go get dinner or whatever the deal is. And he
was fine with, honestly seeing us if we went in
on a Friday, left on a Sunday. He was fine
(19:50):
with seeing us one day and that was Saturday. Luke's
a lot like that though, too. Luke and Jacob are
much more similar than Joe and Jacob.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
And Luke well in that in that way, and it's
interest because.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
When we go down to Tampa to visit and we're
we're down there, Joe does, what are we doing today?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yeah, And it gets to a point where it's like
there's times where you and I go down to Tampa
and I want to spend time with you, and it's
Joe's like, no, this is my time to see my parents.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Yeah, he has a lot of bit different.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
What do you like better?
Speaker 4 (20:31):
I love it all. I love the fact that I've
raised kids that want to spend time with me, and
I love the fact that I've also raised kids that
feel very independent and they know who they are and
they can survive without us. I think that that's that
is the end goal, is you're raising kids who can
go out in the world and you know, they're going
to be fine without you. I think a lot of
(20:53):
it too, is might just be birth order. The firstborn
is probably a little bit more clingier.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Is it, and the baby Usually you think that the
firstborn would be the one that would just be gone.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
You're firstborn, I know, do you like? Well? I used to, and.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
But I when we lived in Arizona, I was with
my I would see my mom every day. When we
first moved, I was on the phone with my mom constantly.
I've been gone for twenty five years, so it's hard
to Yeah, but I mean, if I could live again
by my parents, I would, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah, I look at all three exactly the same way
you do. But I do think that part of me
wants to and they actually Jake's the only one that
listens to this, or he still listens to it. I
want to do trips with each one of them again,
like we did when they were younger, and I want
(21:46):
you and I. I think it'd be kind of cool
if you and I did the Hey, let's take you know,
let's just go even for a night or two nights,
you know, somewhere or do something, because I do want
to spend time with her though they have children.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
But it's hard though, because they the older two are
in their careers. Yeah, you know, Joe is doing his
radio thing, and Jacob is a psychologist. He has clients.
It's not like we can just say hey me, that's
like it's a real thing now, Like he has to
put in for a vacation time, he has to they
both do. It's so Luke, we can just grab him
(22:21):
and go. But it's hard tell.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
This to a lot of my friends who's if your
kids are in this category, you can relate to this.
They have younger kids. A lot of my friends have
younger kids and their kids are like grade school, middle school,
high school. And I keep trying to explain to them
how it was for us where you and Jacob were
really close, and Joe and I were really close, and
(22:46):
I would go to a lot of sporting events with Joe.
Jacob not so much because he was not a big
sports kid. And you said to me, hey, you got
to have some kind of thing that you and Jacob
do together. And we started doing all the scary stuff.
And this time of the year was kind of cool
because we would go to scary movies or we would
(23:06):
go to hunted houses or we even did trips down
to Florida to Universal and Halloween hornites, And man, I'm
so happy that you did that as a mom, that
you saw that, because I don't think that I have
the connection that I wish I did, you know, with Jacob,
(23:28):
and I wish I would have done it when he
was younger.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Yeah, that's okay because you did it. When you did it,
and you know, you here's the thing you can't wish
because and then ruminate and live in that. So change it.
You did change it, and then continue to keep on
changing it. Can you like? That's the thing with parenting
is always trying, especially with older kids, like you have
(23:52):
to try to find something a way to connect. It
could be harder, but you know, even it's as simple
as going and visiting them and just having one on
one time alone with them. It's harder, by the way,
when your kids are adults and then they have significant others,
because you don't want to leave the significant others out
(24:15):
because you do want to spend alone time with your
adult children, but you also want to make sure it's hard.
That's a hard thing.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
But the thing that I regret and makes me.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Feel like and this is why I tell friends of mine,
you know, hey, I don't care how you feel, you
got to do it.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I would come home exhausted all the time from waking.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Up early in the morning, and I never let that
exhaustion level ever get to a point where it was
too much. If it was something I wanted to do,
and the stuff that I didn't want to do or
didn't you know, find to be something that I was
really that interested in, I never searched out. And there
were moments I will never forget this. There are moments
(24:59):
when I would come home from work and I felt
like Jacob was always active, like he was always doing stuff,
or he was up in his room, and there was
never moments where I should have, you know, got off
the couch, you know, or got up from a nap
and took him somewhere, you know, went and did something
(25:20):
with him that he would you know, would want to do,
even just watching him climb a tree, you know, which
is something that I always remember him doing.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Well, that's the thing we always do as parents is again,
we should have done this, we should have done that. Literally,
there is nothing you can do to change that. You
can sit there and feel sorry for yourself and be
upset that you did that, or you can try to
make something different.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Yeah, but I also think that we can hear somebody
that's talking about these things. And this is where I
go with this. You know, listening to this podcast, and
if you have that child that you don't feel like
you have a complete connection with, find the moments that
you can. I have to really do that, because I
(26:10):
really do think I would, and I had people that were.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Just like that with me, and some of them was
my dad. My dad, and I.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
Didn't have Yeah, but that's that's what I'm saying. And
by the way, every parent is going to have a regret,
many regrets. We're all gonna have many regrets. And it's
funny because, like we always say to people, enjoy it
because it goes by so fast, and do this because
we didn't do it and now we regret it. When
the truth is it's gonna be the same thing. We
(26:40):
can we can pound into people and tell them enjoy
every day when you're in the moment. It's really hard
to enjoy seventeen different schedules going a million different ways
because you don't see the joy in that. What you
see is the frustration, your exhaustion. You don't get to
see the joy in that until it's gone normal, really
(27:01):
really normal. And I think that it's okay for people
like Jeez, Louise, can I just catch a break? I
would give anything to go to the bathroom by myself.
I would give anything just to go get a hair
appointment when I want because I don't have to make
it around everyone else's schedules, or go to the grocery
store by myself and not having a million kids behind me.
(27:22):
But I think because when you're in the moment, it's overwhelming.
But that's the beauty of life, you know that everyone experiences.
And I don't know I was talking to about it
because I said, I need to stop telling people to
enjoy the moment, because you want to know why. Sometimes
it's not great. If it's sucky, go ahead say it's sucky.
(27:45):
You know tomorrow's a new day or there's a new
moment coming. But when you're in it and you're so stressed,
that is a real thing, and that's okay. It will
evolve and it will change what I hope for you,
because I completely get that whole thing with Jake, But
I see how upset it makes you. And I don't
want you to have to carry that forever it happened.
(28:08):
We cannot change that. And so just I think, forgive yourself.
You're not perfect, and you know what you did change,
You did things to change it, and maybe you should
look at that and celebrate that, versus live in the
sadness of what you didn't do. You know, and you
(28:30):
are so lucky that you have the opportunity to have
an amazing relationship with an amazing child that he is now, like,
we're so lucky that they our kids still want to
be around us. We're so lucky that they still want
to have a relationship with us, because a lot of
parents are not afforded that. And I think that's what
(28:53):
you have to focus on, and that's what you have
to be happy with.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
But do I have to be around Joe as much as?
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Oh please?
Speaker 2 (29:02):
I do love being around all of the boys. I
love when the boys are all together and there around
and I'm the butt of their jokes.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
I actually do. I really I love that. I love
that they all have such wicked senses of humor.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
That they are funny.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
We're very, very very lucky funny you though.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Because they're scared of me. They know I can give
it right back, so they're scared.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
I love it.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
I instilled that in him.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Jacob, if you are listening to this, I love you, buddy, but.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
Not as much as I love you. I love you more.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I'm the one that was sending all that money every
single month. All right?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
That does it for this episode of That We Don't Podcast.
Two to three percent
Speaker 4 (29:52):
Two to five stamped on my forehead
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