April 9, 2022 • 24 mins
Amy is interacting with food in a new way! We learn why she’s excited to go grocery shopping, and the reason behind her nutritional decisions.
Lisa provides tools to assess if you’re using control to make food choices vs self care and the “seasons of life” where your relationship to food will naturally change.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body outly outweigh everything that I'm
made do. Won't spend my life trying to change. I'm
learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know who every part of me
it's beautiful. And then will always out wait if you
(00:24):
feel it with your eyes. And there she's love to
the boom. There, let's say good day and did you
and die out? Happy Saturday? Outweigh fam Amy here and
I'm sitting across from my co host Lisa. Hello, everybody.
I'm so excited to be back with you all. It's
been a minute. Yeah, it's been a while since Lisa
(00:45):
and I've done an episode together. And I'm excited for
this chat because it's a little bit different than something
Lisa and I have ever discussed before, and I want
to share with her something I noticed my brain doing
because I feel like I'm just more in touch with
a lot of my thoughts lately, now that I actually
have that free space in my brain, my eating disorder
is no longer taking up or occupying my brain rent
(01:09):
free like I guess that's what the kids say. So
I am just so aware of so much more and
on the food side of things. Have been very excited
to break this down with Lisa. I've touched on it
a little bit with licensed therapist cat Defata, who's come
on the podcast a couple of times, and she joins
me on four Things with Amy Brown. But at least
(01:30):
I just want your take on it because and it's
not to be like, oh hey, look, yeah, look where
I am. But it's more of like, well, this is
an exciting thing that we all have to look forward
to once we put in the work and we get
to the other side. And I was listening to a
book Limitless, and it was talking about different brain foods
(01:51):
and foods that your brain will thrive off of if
you consume them. And I started to make a mental
list and I was so excited. Next was at the
grocery store I bought while not spread. I bought blueberries
and avocados and cauliflower like I was putting things in
my cart intentionally. Which side note here total side note.
(02:12):
But I saw a post on Instagram of the image
of a brain like cut open and then cauliflower cut open?
Did you post that? I didn't post it, but they
looked the same. Was that the idea, yes, and then
it was just this whole thing about how fascinating it is,
and in cauliflower something that yes, it is good for
the brain, and it just took me back to my
disordered days when I ate all these foods but for
(02:36):
the wrong reason. I saw them on a list of oh,
these are good for the brain, but I used it
as an excuse to only eat those foods and not
give myself any joy anywhere else. So then it turned
into this restriction thing. Then I went on to do
some sort of some tests that was going to tell
me certain foods that caused my particular body inflammation, and
(02:59):
instead of a actually seeing how I felt after I
physically ate the food, I took those test results as
if they were you know, the Bible, and I'm like,
this is the truth, the way the light. And I
can never have a blueberry again because blueberry causes my
body inflammation. So then I cut out blueberries. So then
I took away that brain food. But I was like, well,
(03:21):
but my body is not allergic to or sensitive to
I say sensitive in air quotes cash shows. Well, then
I just ended up eating cash shows all day long,
and it was this whole disordered, unhealthy space with me
really trying to do good but my with by my body.
But it it came from not the right place. And
(03:42):
so my whole point in saying this is is that
now I notice I'm actually able to enjoy doing something
like that, doing good for my body and bringing in
the nutritious foods for my brain for example. I mean
there's all other kinds of foods that we could talk about,
for like liver or kidney, all the things. But the
exciting part was being at the store buying these brain
(04:04):
foods and knowing that I genuinely was going to get
to enjoy them, but without the fear of eating you know,
too much of them all day long, or restricting them
just in case they might cause inflammation, or using them
as some sort of an excuse not to eat other
food that maybe someone had prepared or eat out at
(04:26):
a restaurant or socialized with friends because it didn't fit
into my brain food list. Like there was just so
much freedom, and I just got to say, like, it's
just been exciting, and I love going into my fridge
and popping a few blueberries in my mouth and having
a genuine little conversation with myself of like boop brain
food and it's exciting. It's so exciting, and I think,
(04:49):
you know, eating disorder and disordered eating recovery is so
different than a lot of different types of recovery where
people have to quote unquote put in the work. You know,
when we talk about drug as an alcohol, you're you know,
hopefully not revisiting those substances again. But when it comes
to eating disordered or disordered eating recovery, we're going to
eat again. And so it's going to be very normal
(05:10):
that your relationship to the substancing quote that you were
interacting with negatively before can then be positive. And it
definitely takes a journey, right, Like the beginning of recovery
is bumpy. You're doing a lot of unlearning. You're pushing
yourselves to do things that scare you, whether that's eating
the blueberries because oh my gosh, what are they going
(05:31):
to do for my body? Because I was told that
they you know, cause inflammation or or eating something you know,
not blueberries but oreos or whatever. You know, you're more
obvious kind of fear food, dairy grains, whatever it is
that like you talked up to being not good for you,
But I a percent believe that nutrition and what we
eat and how we eat it really our relationship to
(05:52):
it can be a form of self care. And I
think it's hard to understand unless you've kind of been
on both sides of the coin, where you previously have
been to the grocery store and you scanned every label
and if it had this amount of sugar, you didn't
have it, or if had this amount of calories or carbs,
you didn't eat it. Versus now when you're like, oh,
(06:13):
blueberryes are good for my brain, walnuts are good for
my brain, Cauliflower is good for my brain. There is
an energetic difference that you are vibrating from. And I
know this might feel like really maybe abstract for our listeners,
but try and think what it feels like when you
are eating or deciding what to eat from a fearful place,
when you're trying to use control versus abundance and taking
(06:37):
care of yourself. Like, there's a distinct difference in the
way that we feel when making those choices, which I
think can kind of be the obvious point of Am
I doing this in a way that's disordered under the
guise of healthy or is this actually good? And healthy
for me, right. And it's a fine line because we're
(06:59):
doing the same things. We're still eating cauliflower, right, But
are we doing it from an expansive, abundant mindset where
we want to nourish our bodies, take good care of them,
think about our brains in your case, or are we
doing them from this place of control that we're like
not even aware of. And it's a fine line, especially
as we make our way out of a place where
(07:20):
we've been super controlling. But it's really a fun opportunity,
once you've made it through the bumpier parts of the journey,
to invite these foods back into your life in a
completely different mindset. And I feel like that's kind of
what you're experiencing, Amy, Yes, and yeah, you're right, it's
no longer from a place of fear and control. I
(07:43):
have been able to surrender all of that, and I'm
able to truly enjoy things. You know. I was waiting
for the Oreo mentioned. I thought, I wonder if Lisa
and I can get through an episode where neither one
of us brings up the infamous oreo. So, because if
you were going to do it, I is going to
do it. But I just want to offer that that
encouragement and knowing that now I can take care of
(08:07):
my brain or other organs and different things. I mean,
even when it comes to like drinking water. Some people
probably wouldn't think that that could be part of a
disordered behavior, but it's it was for me, and it's water.
But I was so stuck in this control space that like,
I would freak out if I didn't have every drop
(08:30):
of water that I was supposed to have that day.
I feel like a big part of this, which might
be missed by people who don't understand, is that eating
disorder recovery or disordered eating recovery isn't just about eating
the food that you didn't used to eat. Food freedom
isn't just about the food. If you're truly going through
this journey of making peace with your body, you're likely
(08:53):
and hopefully and if not hopefully, going to start after
I bring this up, really getting to know your self
talk what does that voice in your head sound like?
What does it feel like? And when you become really
attuned to that voice, you become much more able to
catch when it's deviating into an old place that doesn't
(09:15):
serve you. You are aware when you're self berating, which
may in the past just be your norm. And there's
so much inner work that goes through a recovery beyond
just the food freedom, being able to eat the oreo,
the ice cream, the pasta, you know, whatever those foods
are that are really like the foods that you see
people eating in their recovery and enjoying are is like
(09:37):
the tip of the iceberg. But what you don't see
beneath the water is all of that inner work that
they've done, working on their self talk, really getting to
know it, implementing compassion, both self compassion and compassion for others,
learning how to be flexible in situations that otherwise you know,
would have caused inner turmoil, binging, or restricting. There's so
(09:58):
much beneath that. And I another big one that you know,
kind of you've semi brought up here is value based
living amy Like, you want to take care of your brain.
Why do you want to take care of your brain?
Why do you want to take care of your brain? Well,
because I know that it's it's important. I want to
(10:20):
have a longevity, I want to have relationships. I want
to make sure that as I age, I take care
of something as precious as my brain. Now, some stuff
genetically might be out of my control, but this is
a part where in a healthy way I say that control.
With that context, I can try to at least do
(10:40):
my best to make sure that I'm giving it what
it needs. And it's it's so exciting to kind of
go through the life journey and get that opportunity, I
know for me having just had a baby, and I
mean there's so much labor that goes into not obviously
labor labor, but physical labor of holding a baby, changing baby,
picking a baby up. Now she's crawling, I'm chasing her.
(11:01):
And one of the things that I'm really passionate about
is taking good care of my joints. And for whatever reason,
I know I'm like a young person, but my joints
in my body really hurt if I'm not actively stretching, moving, mobilizing,
getting fresh oxygen and blood to those areas. So movement
for me in the last few months has also really
shifted from a place of longevity. I want to be
(11:24):
able to pick up my baby and feel good and
be able to do this for a lifetime. As our
bodies only age and get more difficult. So you know,
there's so many situations I feel like where our listeners
can hopefully start to think about how things that previously
fell into diet culture for them may exist in their
(11:44):
recovery down the line or maybe right now, depending on
where you are. That's kind of the hard part of
this podcast is we don't know where you are in
this exact moment. But knowing that that we can use
things like eating you know, blueberries and nuts and cashews
and move our bodies and do all these things that
we previously used to abuse in a way that is
(12:07):
truly a form of self care. And you know, you
just mentioned a movement and that makes me think of
my water comment a minute ago and movement. Those were
things where it was like me controlling every ounce of
water that went in my body and every step I
took and monitoring it and pacing my kitchen while I'm
chugging my water before I go to bed, because I
(12:28):
had this rule of what I had to get done
every single day. And while now I can approach it
from a place of like, oh, yes, movement is going
to be good today, but what does that look like? Like?
I know, move my body needs movement but is it
like achieving a certain amount of steps every single day
so that I can sleep easy at night, which I
(12:50):
wasn't sleeping easy, by the way, Like I I wasn't
I was already stressed about the next day, how I
was going to get all the water in, how I
was gonna not eat this and only eat that and
enter everything in. And so my hope is that this
type of conversation will excite people about the possibilities that
they're going to have um future movement, things with what
(13:13):
family and friends, future trips to the grocery store, all
the different things that come along with not being attached
to all these rules and guidelines and the pressure of that.
And Lisa, you mentioned self compassion, and I think that's
what a lot of what I have for myself now
it's like, oh, if I didn't necessarily do that, that's okay,
(13:35):
and maybe we'll try tomorrow. Compassion for others. I interviewed
Shaun and Equist on my podcast this week, Four Things podcast,
and there are four pillars that she mentioned in her
latest book, and they are compassion, self compassion, curiosity, and courage.
And I'm not applying them here in the same way
(13:55):
that she did in her latest book. But I just
would say it takes a lot of courage to recognize
where you are and then want to make the change
and try to talk to someone about it. I think
the curiosity piece, when I think of this conversation, comes
in with like just being curious of what might your
life look like if you do try to let go
of some of these disordered behaviors. And I even take
(14:19):
it to where I am now. I get curious at
the grocery store, like, oh, I wonder what this food
tastes like, or I wonder what this might be like
if I were to add this to my routine in
some way, shape or form, or what if I tried
this new form of exercise whatever it is or movement
the curiosity piece. And then you know, Lisa, you already
(14:39):
mentioned the compassion and self compassion. So I just thought
those four things were kind of could be fun to
throw into this conversation. Yeah, And I think, actually that
might be a good little challenge to throw in here.
And it's a fun activity that I like to do
from time to time, too, is going to the grocery store.
And of course you have your list of your basics
of things that you that you need, and then allow
your eyes to kind of wander and see what can
(15:00):
Whuch is your attention. Maybe it's something new that you've
never had before that you want to try, Maybe it's
something that you haven't had in years, you know, But
allow yourself to wonder, bring that curiosity in and then
invite that into your home and your meals to really
see what your experiences. And you never know if you're
gonna like it or not like it. But the key
(15:20):
here is to not let the nutrition label deter you
from having whatever that is if there's a nutrition label
on it. So that's a nice little challenge piece to
go for. And the other thing I kind of just
want to bring up amy, which I found really interesting
even just as I reflect back on the last seven
months of becoming a mom and the big life shift
that I've gone through, is that there are seasons of
(15:43):
life where your relationship to food is going to change
and that's okay. And I think knowing that might help
you again ease up on that self talk where you're
down on yourself. There was a period in the last
seven months, a long period aid where I mean I
was eating anything in the fridge that was three or
(16:04):
four or five days old, you know, but it was
already pre made. Like, there have been so many times
I've been so thoughtless, or I've eaten just can't soup
for dinner because I just can't think of another meal,
or have relied on frozen foods. And then there have
been other moments where I'm like, a form of self
care today is actually going to be putting love into
a meal, spending time chopping the vegetables, connecting with the food,
(16:24):
you know, really taking you know, a minute to think
about the food. And neither of those things are right
or wrong, the thoughtless the more thoughtful, but rather a
reflection of the best that I could do in that
situation given how I felt exhaustion wise and my mental capacity.
And that's kind of a short period of time that
(16:45):
I've gone through so much change where I'm like, I
don't really care what I eat too, you know, I
really care what I eat. But we're going to go
through those those seasons of life where emphasis is on
nutrition and wholesome food and connecting with our food and
cooking a lot. For me. In the summer time, I
usually wake up a little bit more to that, but
I don't mean seasons literally like that. But there are
(17:05):
also times and in long periods of time where food
is just kind of on the back burner for me,
and it's cool to allow that to happen without the
fear of the judgment to seep in and kind of
robbed me from actually being present, because food can kind
of be two things. Food can just be food where
it just kind of gets us through the day, or
it can be a powerful way to connect to yourself
(17:26):
in that moment more deeply. And I would just say too,
especially you're talking about you being a new mom, if
we have other moms listening, I mean, I have a
fourteen year old and a ten year old eleven gosh,
he's eleven, he's actually almost gonna be twelve, and my
fourteenyear old is about to be fifteen. So anyway, we're
in the thick of it with school and activities, and
there's like some days are just busy, and I'm able
(17:47):
to be aware of that and know that just because
maybe one week we're not having certain meals that I
otherwise would have fed them or depending on what I have,
no judgment, like, I am free of that and when
I first became a mom, um we first adopted them,
I was not that way. It actually overwhelmed and stressed
me out, and I didn't know what I was in
to feedom how it's going to feed them. And then
(18:08):
I felt like a failure if they ate a piece
of candy or something. And then now I'm a completely
different type of mom and I don't have that that
negative self talk if we're not eating the dinner that
I had planned for us to have and we just
end up doing cereal, which the kids love, by the way,
and that brings them and me a lot of joy
(18:29):
those nights where it's like, all right, everybody just go
to the pantry, pick out something to eat, like we're good,
we're going to survive. But I don't judge myself or
call myself a bad mom exactly. Um. And it's just
nice to kind of be able to be flexible like that.
And at the same time, it's also nice to be
able to cook fresh cookies with your kids, right, Like,
sometimes the easy and the and the more difficult or
(18:50):
skillful can provide the same amount of connection if it's
truly based in what you all need. Yeah, and you're
the dietitian here, so the registered the r D. So
I'm I'm going to lean into you for what just
something just popped in my head that I kind of
want to do. When you talked about cooking food and
thinking about it, like I pictured myself whatever reason when
(19:11):
you were saying that, like chopping a bell pepper and
like slicing it perfectly and looking at how beautiful a
little bell pepper is. That's something else that I got
from my chat with Shawn an Equist was she wants
to find delight in the small things, and she she
wants that low hanging joy and not that it's not
genuine or real, she just wants to be able to
(19:33):
find it in the the easy places. And so just
now as you were talking, Lisa, I was picturing myself
cutting a beautiful, vibrant red bell pepper. But now what
I'm excited to do is to maybe look up, like
what are the vitamins in a bell pepper? What is
the spell pepper doing for me? And when I am
cutting it kind of like these brain foods, like I
(19:54):
actually have more excitement to learn and connect with the
food as cheesy as that sal But now I am
I if I am cooking, I might do a little
research before I cook and be like, Okay, if I'm
having mushrooms, what is this doing for me and my body?
And then taking that in when I'm cooking it like, oh,
within this up for my bladder, Like I don't know
(20:15):
what it is helping out, but is that an okay
exercise for me to do? I think for sure? And
again it's all about like where are you truly coming from?
And it sounds like you're coming from a good place.
But I think this will maybe be a separate conversation.
But I truly believe that nature is medicine. Food is medicine.
But caveat that doesn't mean that if you're eating something
that's not you know, from nature or a bell pepper right,
(20:37):
that it's poison. And there's a lot of anti diet
culture talk that really dispel that idea that food is
medicine because it kind of feeds into that other side
to say, Okay, well, if you're eating processed food or whatever,
that it's not medicine. But it's not how I see
it at all. I think food can be medicine, and
we don't have to vilify food that's not medicinal. But
(20:58):
I think we have to realize that we are humans
living in nature and you know, God, if you believe
in God or whoever didn't put us here to open
CVS is so that we have medicine. Obviously we have
to rely on medicine and pharmacology, but the foods that
we eat do have the power to protect us, to
heal us in some cases, and they do offer medicinal
(21:21):
benefits if you will, um, in the sense of that's
what just what nutrition is eating foods that have antioxidants
and beta carotenes and you know, protective things to protect
our bodies. Um. And that's that's kind of a fun
place to lean into food, whereas we've been robbed of
that because we just want to focus on calories or
carbohydrates or grims of sugar, where you know, so many
(21:44):
foods from nature are high in calories, are high in carbohydrates,
are high in sugar because our bodies need those in
combination with all the other nutritional benefits that they have. Yeah,
in combination is key there. Um. Well, thank you for
this chat to day, Lisa, and just you know, sharing
in my excitement with where I am with it. And
(22:05):
then offering this perspective and that hope, because again, like
you said, we have no idea where every single listener
is on this journey, and that's what's hard for us
to navigate here behind a microphone and not not seeing
each and every one of you face to face as
we're talking, or being able to answer your questions, or
not in your home knowing what the environment is like
(22:27):
for you or in your brain. I guess I should say. So,
if you want to reach out, or you have a
thought or something you would like for us to talk
about or break down, you can email us hello at
Outweigh podcast dot com and we will get that. And
in the meantime, you can catch Lisa on Instagram choose
at Lisa hame h a y I am, And then
(22:49):
you can also check out Lisa's other podcast called The
Truth fus Life, which has a new episode every Friday.
And I know that you're pouring so much into that podcast, Lisa,
and I'm so proud of you. Thank you. Yeah, it's
been actually going incredible lately, and every guest that comes
on is just like blowing all of our minds and
really just changing my life one episode at a time.
(23:10):
So thanks for shouting out the truthist life. Yeah, and
you recently had on a guest over there which I
have listened full transparency, I only got through half of it,
but it's in my queue to finish the rest. And
she's actually going to be a guest on Outweigh. She is.
It's um Kathleen Cameron, who had made a fifteen million
dollars in the past two years. She was a nurse prior,
(23:32):
and obviously she's gone through a huge life transformation, but
most interestingly, she really credits her body acceptance to this
huge financial and professional change in her life. So she's
going to share with us what happened when she finally
accepted her body size and how she did it. Awesome.
I can't wait for that one. And that'll be next Saturday.
(23:53):
So a new Outweigh episode goes up every Saturday. If
you've got some extra time you're walking around or you're
running air and so you've got to drive, then load
up some other episodes and hopefully it'll be some encouragement
to you when when you need it most. Because I
know when I was in the thick of it, I
wish I had had something to listen to. But podcast
just weren't really around. And gosh, my eating disorders started
(24:16):
when I was like fourteen, so we didn't have many
materials back then that I'm just thankful for this community
and I know there's a lot of other amazing resources
out there. And and Lisa, I tell her all the time,
like she's a huge, huge piece to my recovery puzzle,
if you want to call it that. So definitely be
following her on Instagram, which she is a new mom,
(24:37):
like she mentioned, so lots of baby content, but that
is okay because you have the most beautiful baby in
the world. Thank you so much and we'll see you
all next week. I
I won't let my body outly outweigh everything that I'm
made do. Won't spend my life trying to change. I'm
learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know who every part of me
it's beautiful. And then will always out wait if you
(00:24):
feel it with your eyes. And there she's love to
the boom. There, let's say good day and did you
and die out? Happy Saturday? Outweigh fam Amy here and
I'm sitting across from my co host Lisa. Hello, everybody.
I'm so excited to be back with you all. It's
been a minute. Yeah, it's been a while since Lisa
(00:45):
and I've done an episode together. And I'm excited for
this chat because it's a little bit different than something
Lisa and I have ever discussed before, and I want
to share with her something I noticed my brain doing
because I feel like I'm just more in touch with
a lot of my thoughts lately, now that I actually
have that free space in my brain, my eating disorder
is no longer taking up or occupying my brain rent
(01:09):
free like I guess that's what the kids say. So
I am just so aware of so much more and
on the food side of things. Have been very excited
to break this down with Lisa. I've touched on it
a little bit with licensed therapist cat Defata, who's come
on the podcast a couple of times, and she joins
me on four Things with Amy Brown. But at least
(01:30):
I just want your take on it because and it's
not to be like, oh hey, look, yeah, look where
I am. But it's more of like, well, this is
an exciting thing that we all have to look forward
to once we put in the work and we get
to the other side. And I was listening to a
book Limitless, and it was talking about different brain foods
(01:51):
and foods that your brain will thrive off of if
you consume them. And I started to make a mental
list and I was so excited. Next was at the
grocery store I bought while not spread. I bought blueberries
and avocados and cauliflower like I was putting things in
my cart intentionally. Which side note here total side note.
(02:12):
But I saw a post on Instagram of the image
of a brain like cut open and then cauliflower cut open?
Did you post that? I didn't post it, but they
looked the same. Was that the idea, yes, and then
it was just this whole thing about how fascinating it is,
and in cauliflower something that yes, it is good for
the brain, and it just took me back to my
disordered days when I ate all these foods but for
(02:36):
the wrong reason. I saw them on a list of oh,
these are good for the brain, but I used it
as an excuse to only eat those foods and not
give myself any joy anywhere else. So then it turned
into this restriction thing. Then I went on to do
some sort of some tests that was going to tell
me certain foods that caused my particular body inflammation, and
(02:59):
instead of a actually seeing how I felt after I
physically ate the food, I took those test results as
if they were you know, the Bible, and I'm like,
this is the truth, the way the light. And I
can never have a blueberry again because blueberry causes my
body inflammation. So then I cut out blueberries. So then
I took away that brain food. But I was like, well,
(03:21):
but my body is not allergic to or sensitive to
I say sensitive in air quotes cash shows. Well, then
I just ended up eating cash shows all day long,
and it was this whole disordered, unhealthy space with me
really trying to do good but my with by my body.
But it it came from not the right place. And
(03:42):
so my whole point in saying this is is that
now I notice I'm actually able to enjoy doing something
like that, doing good for my body and bringing in
the nutritious foods for my brain for example. I mean
there's all other kinds of foods that we could talk about,
for like liver or kidney, all the things. But the
exciting part was being at the store buying these brain
(04:04):
foods and knowing that I genuinely was going to get
to enjoy them, but without the fear of eating you know,
too much of them all day long, or restricting them
just in case they might cause inflammation, or using them
as some sort of an excuse not to eat other
food that maybe someone had prepared or eat out at
(04:26):
a restaurant or socialized with friends because it didn't fit
into my brain food list. Like there was just so
much freedom, and I just got to say, like, it's
just been exciting, and I love going into my fridge
and popping a few blueberries in my mouth and having
a genuine little conversation with myself of like boop brain
food and it's exciting. It's so exciting, and I think,
(04:49):
you know, eating disorder and disordered eating recovery is so
different than a lot of different types of recovery where
people have to quote unquote put in the work. You know,
when we talk about drug as an alcohol, you're you know,
hopefully not revisiting those substances again. But when it comes
to eating disordered or disordered eating recovery, we're going to
eat again. And so it's going to be very normal
(05:10):
that your relationship to the substancing quote that you were
interacting with negatively before can then be positive. And it
definitely takes a journey, right, Like the beginning of recovery
is bumpy. You're doing a lot of unlearning. You're pushing
yourselves to do things that scare you, whether that's eating
the blueberries because oh my gosh, what are they going
(05:31):
to do for my body? Because I was told that
they you know, cause inflammation or or eating something you know,
not blueberries but oreos or whatever. You know, you're more
obvious kind of fear food, dairy grains, whatever it is
that like you talked up to being not good for you,
But I a percent believe that nutrition and what we
eat and how we eat it really our relationship to
(05:52):
it can be a form of self care. And I
think it's hard to understand unless you've kind of been
on both sides of the coin, where you previously have
been to the grocery store and you scanned every label
and if it had this amount of sugar, you didn't
have it, or if had this amount of calories or carbs,
you didn't eat it. Versus now when you're like, oh,
(06:13):
blueberryes are good for my brain, walnuts are good for
my brain, Cauliflower is good for my brain. There is
an energetic difference that you are vibrating from. And I
know this might feel like really maybe abstract for our listeners,
but try and think what it feels like when you
are eating or deciding what to eat from a fearful place,
when you're trying to use control versus abundance and taking
(06:37):
care of yourself. Like, there's a distinct difference in the
way that we feel when making those choices, which I
think can kind of be the obvious point of Am
I doing this in a way that's disordered under the
guise of healthy or is this actually good? And healthy
for me, right. And it's a fine line because we're
(06:59):
doing the same things. We're still eating cauliflower, right, But
are we doing it from an expansive, abundant mindset where
we want to nourish our bodies, take good care of them,
think about our brains in your case, or are we
doing them from this place of control that we're like
not even aware of. And it's a fine line, especially
as we make our way out of a place where
(07:20):
we've been super controlling. But it's really a fun opportunity,
once you've made it through the bumpier parts of the journey,
to invite these foods back into your life in a
completely different mindset. And I feel like that's kind of
what you're experiencing, Amy, Yes, and yeah, you're right, it's
no longer from a place of fear and control. I
(07:43):
have been able to surrender all of that, and I'm
able to truly enjoy things. You know. I was waiting
for the Oreo mentioned. I thought, I wonder if Lisa
and I can get through an episode where neither one
of us brings up the infamous oreo. So, because if
you were going to do it, I is going to
do it. But I just want to offer that that
encouragement and knowing that now I can take care of
(08:07):
my brain or other organs and different things. I mean,
even when it comes to like drinking water. Some people
probably wouldn't think that that could be part of a
disordered behavior, but it's it was for me, and it's water.
But I was so stuck in this control space that like,
I would freak out if I didn't have every drop
(08:30):
of water that I was supposed to have that day.
I feel like a big part of this, which might
be missed by people who don't understand, is that eating
disorder recovery or disordered eating recovery isn't just about eating
the food that you didn't used to eat. Food freedom
isn't just about the food. If you're truly going through
this journey of making peace with your body, you're likely
(08:53):
and hopefully and if not hopefully, going to start after
I bring this up, really getting to know your self
talk what does that voice in your head sound like?
What does it feel like? And when you become really
attuned to that voice, you become much more able to
catch when it's deviating into an old place that doesn't
(09:15):
serve you. You are aware when you're self berating, which
may in the past just be your norm. And there's
so much inner work that goes through a recovery beyond
just the food freedom, being able to eat the oreo,
the ice cream, the pasta, you know, whatever those foods
are that are really like the foods that you see
people eating in their recovery and enjoying are is like
(09:37):
the tip of the iceberg. But what you don't see
beneath the water is all of that inner work that
they've done, working on their self talk, really getting to
know it, implementing compassion, both self compassion and compassion for others,
learning how to be flexible in situations that otherwise you know,
would have caused inner turmoil, binging, or restricting. There's so
(09:58):
much beneath that. And I another big one that you know,
kind of you've semi brought up here is value based
living amy Like, you want to take care of your brain.
Why do you want to take care of your brain?
Why do you want to take care of your brain? Well,
because I know that it's it's important. I want to
(10:20):
have a longevity, I want to have relationships. I want
to make sure that as I age, I take care
of something as precious as my brain. Now, some stuff
genetically might be out of my control, but this is
a part where in a healthy way I say that control.
With that context, I can try to at least do
(10:40):
my best to make sure that I'm giving it what
it needs. And it's it's so exciting to kind of
go through the life journey and get that opportunity, I
know for me having just had a baby, and I
mean there's so much labor that goes into not obviously
labor labor, but physical labor of holding a baby, changing baby,
picking a baby up. Now she's crawling, I'm chasing her.
(11:01):
And one of the things that I'm really passionate about
is taking good care of my joints. And for whatever reason,
I know I'm like a young person, but my joints
in my body really hurt if I'm not actively stretching, moving, mobilizing,
getting fresh oxygen and blood to those areas. So movement
for me in the last few months has also really
shifted from a place of longevity. I want to be
(11:24):
able to pick up my baby and feel good and
be able to do this for a lifetime. As our
bodies only age and get more difficult. So you know,
there's so many situations I feel like where our listeners
can hopefully start to think about how things that previously
fell into diet culture for them may exist in their
(11:44):
recovery down the line or maybe right now, depending on
where you are. That's kind of the hard part of
this podcast is we don't know where you are in
this exact moment. But knowing that that we can use
things like eating you know, blueberries and nuts and cashews
and move our bodies and do all these things that
we previously used to abuse in a way that is
(12:07):
truly a form of self care. And you know, you
just mentioned a movement and that makes me think of
my water comment a minute ago and movement. Those were
things where it was like me controlling every ounce of
water that went in my body and every step I
took and monitoring it and pacing my kitchen while I'm
chugging my water before I go to bed, because I
(12:28):
had this rule of what I had to get done
every single day. And while now I can approach it
from a place of like, oh, yes, movement is going
to be good today, but what does that look like? Like?
I know, move my body needs movement but is it
like achieving a certain amount of steps every single day
so that I can sleep easy at night, which I
(12:50):
wasn't sleeping easy, by the way, Like I I wasn't
I was already stressed about the next day, how I
was going to get all the water in, how I
was gonna not eat this and only eat that and
enter everything in. And so my hope is that this
type of conversation will excite people about the possibilities that
they're going to have um future movement, things with what
(13:13):
family and friends, future trips to the grocery store, all
the different things that come along with not being attached
to all these rules and guidelines and the pressure of that.
And Lisa, you mentioned self compassion, and I think that's
what a lot of what I have for myself now
it's like, oh, if I didn't necessarily do that, that's okay,
(13:35):
and maybe we'll try tomorrow. Compassion for others. I interviewed
Shaun and Equist on my podcast this week, Four Things podcast,
and there are four pillars that she mentioned in her
latest book, and they are compassion, self compassion, curiosity, and courage.
And I'm not applying them here in the same way
(13:55):
that she did in her latest book. But I just
would say it takes a lot of courage to recognize
where you are and then want to make the change
and try to talk to someone about it. I think
the curiosity piece, when I think of this conversation, comes
in with like just being curious of what might your
life look like if you do try to let go
of some of these disordered behaviors. And I even take
(14:19):
it to where I am now. I get curious at
the grocery store, like, oh, I wonder what this food
tastes like, or I wonder what this might be like
if I were to add this to my routine in
some way, shape or form, or what if I tried
this new form of exercise whatever it is or movement
the curiosity piece. And then you know, Lisa, you already
(14:39):
mentioned the compassion and self compassion. So I just thought
those four things were kind of could be fun to
throw into this conversation. Yeah, And I think, actually that
might be a good little challenge to throw in here.
And it's a fun activity that I like to do
from time to time, too, is going to the grocery store.
And of course you have your list of your basics
of things that you that you need, and then allow
your eyes to kind of wander and see what can
(15:00):
Whuch is your attention. Maybe it's something new that you've
never had before that you want to try, Maybe it's
something that you haven't had in years, you know, But
allow yourself to wonder, bring that curiosity in and then
invite that into your home and your meals to really
see what your experiences. And you never know if you're
gonna like it or not like it. But the key
(15:20):
here is to not let the nutrition label deter you
from having whatever that is if there's a nutrition label
on it. So that's a nice little challenge piece to
go for. And the other thing I kind of just
want to bring up amy, which I found really interesting
even just as I reflect back on the last seven
months of becoming a mom and the big life shift
that I've gone through, is that there are seasons of
(15:43):
life where your relationship to food is going to change
and that's okay. And I think knowing that might help
you again ease up on that self talk where you're
down on yourself. There was a period in the last
seven months, a long period aid where I mean I
was eating anything in the fridge that was three or
(16:04):
four or five days old, you know, but it was
already pre made. Like, there have been so many times
I've been so thoughtless, or I've eaten just can't soup
for dinner because I just can't think of another meal,
or have relied on frozen foods. And then there have
been other moments where I'm like, a form of self
care today is actually going to be putting love into
a meal, spending time chopping the vegetables, connecting with the food,
(16:24):
you know, really taking you know, a minute to think
about the food. And neither of those things are right
or wrong, the thoughtless the more thoughtful, but rather a
reflection of the best that I could do in that
situation given how I felt exhaustion wise and my mental capacity.
And that's kind of a short period of time that
(16:45):
I've gone through so much change where I'm like, I
don't really care what I eat too, you know, I
really care what I eat. But we're going to go
through those those seasons of life where emphasis is on
nutrition and wholesome food and connecting with our food and
cooking a lot. For me. In the summer time, I
usually wake up a little bit more to that, but
I don't mean seasons literally like that. But there are
(17:05):
also times and in long periods of time where food
is just kind of on the back burner for me,
and it's cool to allow that to happen without the
fear of the judgment to seep in and kind of
robbed me from actually being present, because food can kind
of be two things. Food can just be food where
it just kind of gets us through the day, or
it can be a powerful way to connect to yourself
(17:26):
in that moment more deeply. And I would just say too,
especially you're talking about you being a new mom, if
we have other moms listening, I mean, I have a
fourteen year old and a ten year old eleven gosh,
he's eleven, he's actually almost gonna be twelve, and my
fourteenyear old is about to be fifteen. So anyway, we're
in the thick of it with school and activities, and
there's like some days are just busy, and I'm able
(17:47):
to be aware of that and know that just because
maybe one week we're not having certain meals that I
otherwise would have fed them or depending on what I have,
no judgment, like, I am free of that and when
I first became a mom, um we first adopted them,
I was not that way. It actually overwhelmed and stressed
me out, and I didn't know what I was in
to feedom how it's going to feed them. And then
(18:08):
I felt like a failure if they ate a piece
of candy or something. And then now I'm a completely
different type of mom and I don't have that that
negative self talk if we're not eating the dinner that
I had planned for us to have and we just
end up doing cereal, which the kids love, by the way,
and that brings them and me a lot of joy
(18:29):
those nights where it's like, all right, everybody just go
to the pantry, pick out something to eat, like we're good,
we're going to survive. But I don't judge myself or
call myself a bad mom exactly. Um. And it's just
nice to kind of be able to be flexible like that.
And at the same time, it's also nice to be
able to cook fresh cookies with your kids, right, Like,
sometimes the easy and the and the more difficult or
(18:50):
skillful can provide the same amount of connection if it's
truly based in what you all need. Yeah, and you're
the dietitian here, so the registered the r D. So
I'm I'm going to lean into you for what just
something just popped in my head that I kind of
want to do. When you talked about cooking food and
thinking about it, like I pictured myself whatever reason when
(19:11):
you were saying that, like chopping a bell pepper and
like slicing it perfectly and looking at how beautiful a
little bell pepper is. That's something else that I got
from my chat with Shawn an Equist was she wants
to find delight in the small things, and she she
wants that low hanging joy and not that it's not
genuine or real, she just wants to be able to
(19:33):
find it in the the easy places. And so just
now as you were talking, Lisa, I was picturing myself
cutting a beautiful, vibrant red bell pepper. But now what
I'm excited to do is to maybe look up, like
what are the vitamins in a bell pepper? What is
the spell pepper doing for me? And when I am
cutting it kind of like these brain foods, like I
(19:54):
actually have more excitement to learn and connect with the
food as cheesy as that sal But now I am
I if I am cooking, I might do a little
research before I cook and be like, Okay, if I'm
having mushrooms, what is this doing for me and my body?
And then taking that in when I'm cooking it like, oh,
within this up for my bladder, Like I don't know
(20:15):
what it is helping out, but is that an okay
exercise for me to do? I think for sure? And
again it's all about like where are you truly coming from?
And it sounds like you're coming from a good place.
But I think this will maybe be a separate conversation.
But I truly believe that nature is medicine. Food is medicine.
But caveat that doesn't mean that if you're eating something
that's not you know, from nature or a bell pepper right,
(20:37):
that it's poison. And there's a lot of anti diet
culture talk that really dispel that idea that food is
medicine because it kind of feeds into that other side
to say, Okay, well, if you're eating processed food or whatever,
that it's not medicine. But it's not how I see
it at all. I think food can be medicine, and
we don't have to vilify food that's not medicinal. But
(20:58):
I think we have to realize that we are humans
living in nature and you know, God, if you believe
in God or whoever didn't put us here to open
CVS is so that we have medicine. Obviously we have
to rely on medicine and pharmacology, but the foods that
we eat do have the power to protect us, to
heal us in some cases, and they do offer medicinal
(21:21):
benefits if you will, um, in the sense of that's
what just what nutrition is eating foods that have antioxidants
and beta carotenes and you know, protective things to protect
our bodies. Um. And that's that's kind of a fun
place to lean into food, whereas we've been robbed of
that because we just want to focus on calories or
carbohydrates or grims of sugar, where you know, so many
(21:44):
foods from nature are high in calories, are high in carbohydrates,
are high in sugar because our bodies need those in
combination with all the other nutritional benefits that they have. Yeah,
in combination is key there. Um. Well, thank you for
this chat to day, Lisa, and just you know, sharing
in my excitement with where I am with it. And
(22:05):
then offering this perspective and that hope, because again, like
you said, we have no idea where every single listener
is on this journey, and that's what's hard for us
to navigate here behind a microphone and not not seeing
each and every one of you face to face as
we're talking, or being able to answer your questions, or
not in your home knowing what the environment is like
(22:27):
for you or in your brain. I guess I should say. So,
if you want to reach out, or you have a
thought or something you would like for us to talk
about or break down, you can email us hello at
Outweigh podcast dot com and we will get that. And
in the meantime, you can catch Lisa on Instagram choose
at Lisa hame h a y I am, And then
(22:49):
you can also check out Lisa's other podcast called The
Truth fus Life, which has a new episode every Friday.
And I know that you're pouring so much into that podcast, Lisa,
and I'm so proud of you. Thank you. Yeah, it's
been actually going incredible lately, and every guest that comes
on is just like blowing all of our minds and
really just changing my life one episode at a time.
(23:10):
So thanks for shouting out the truthist life. Yeah, and
you recently had on a guest over there which I
have listened full transparency, I only got through half of it,
but it's in my queue to finish the rest. And
she's actually going to be a guest on Outweigh. She is.
It's um Kathleen Cameron, who had made a fifteen million
dollars in the past two years. She was a nurse prior,
(23:32):
and obviously she's gone through a huge life transformation, but
most interestingly, she really credits her body acceptance to this
huge financial and professional change in her life. So she's
going to share with us what happened when she finally
accepted her body size and how she did it. Awesome.
I can't wait for that one. And that'll be next Saturday.
(23:53):
So a new Outweigh episode goes up every Saturday. If
you've got some extra time you're walking around or you're
running air and so you've got to drive, then load
up some other episodes and hopefully it'll be some encouragement
to you when when you need it most. Because I
know when I was in the thick of it, I
wish I had had something to listen to. But podcast
just weren't really around. And gosh, my eating disorders started
(24:16):
when I was like fourteen, so we didn't have many
materials back then that I'm just thankful for this community
and I know there's a lot of other amazing resources
out there. And and Lisa, I tell her all the time,
like she's a huge, huge piece to my recovery puzzle,
if you want to call it that. So definitely be
following her on Instagram, which she is a new mom,
(24:37):
like she mentioned, so lots of baby content, but that
is okay because you have the most beautiful baby in
the world. Thank you so much and we'll see you
all next week. I
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
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Amy Brown
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