March 6, 2021 • 28 mins
Brittney Spencer is a singer/songwriter in Nashville that doesn’t fit the stereotypical mold of a country artist. Growing up she never saw people that looked like her, but her mom told her to chase her dream no matter what - and Brittney is doing just that! Brittney helped write our OUTWEIGH theme song, so in this episode Amy & Brittney break down the lyrics (of what they have written of the song so far) because each line is in there for a reason and has a little story...that will likely resonate with a lot of you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't lend my body out be outwell everything that
I'm made do. Won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know who every part of me
It's beautiful and then will always out way if you
(00:24):
feel it with yours in the air, she's love to
the boy there. Let's say goode day and did you
and die out? All right? Heyy Outweigh fam, I have
a treat for you because our new Outweigh theme song
is my girl Britney Spencer singing, and now she's here
(00:44):
with us to do an episode. Hey Brett, do people
ever call you Brett? I think I just stood for
the first time. But Britney Spencer is an amazing singer
songwriter out of Nashville. And Lisa is not here with us.
She is in New York at home in Brittany and
I are just recording this at my house so to
just be me and Brittany. But Lisa's here in spirit, okay, yes,
(01:05):
because she is just as much a part of this
Outweighed journey and the story and even our theme song
and everything behind it as well you and I are.
But we have been working on it. We've got the chorus,
which is now the theme song for the podcast, but
we've worked on verse one and we're gonna work on
(01:25):
verse two. But I thought it would be interesting to
have Brittany come on and we break down why we
wrote the lyrics the way we did in the verse
and the chorus, because there's meaning behind the words. And
the first line is go ahead and sing it for everybody, Brittany,
because the theme song has already played for the intro
(01:47):
into this podcast, but it was just the chorus, so
we haven't played so we'll give This is like a breakdown,
a musical breakdown. It's very raw. Brittany's here with her guitar.
So what is the first line? Yeah, you want me
to see you don't see it. I want you to
sing it. We'll never measure you up to all the standards,
(02:07):
obsessing all the girls and magazines. All right, stop, that's it.
We have been told by society, through magazines and on
TV or media print wherever, that this is how we're
supposed to look. Now, I sit here on this podcast
as a privileged, thin white person, and I'm sitting here
(02:30):
with Brittany, who is a black woman who is full
of life and curves and all the things in the
most beautiful voice ever. But I mean, when it comes
to measuring up to all the standards and all the
girls we see in magazines, I'm closer to whatever that
is than you are. That's the reality. And I don't
(02:52):
know what it's like for you to be looking at
the magazines and just seeing a bunch of skinny white girls.
And so what message did that send to you? Um?
I mean, I think those messages to me always told
me that I needed to spend most of my life
trying to change. I needed to be a certain size.
(03:12):
I needed to I don't know, subscribe to some beauty
standard that I would never kind of measure up to.
I remember, specifically as a kid, like watching like a
bunch of country music videos and falling in love with
the genre because I didn't know country music until I
was like fourteen or fifteen, and I was watching all
the music videos and I was reading the magazines and
looking all all the things online, and I remember thinking
(03:36):
there's no black people and also, oh my goodness, I'm
not skinny. And so for me, I always kind of
battled this thing where I was too black for the genre.
I felt like I was too black because of the
images that I saw, and I didn't realize that until
honestly it so I was like older when I was like,
why why do I think this way? And I'm like, oh,
if I trace it back, I realized it's because of
(03:56):
lack of representation. But honestly, I never thought that I
could do me in general for a really long time,
or that I wouldn't be successful in it because of
my size, And so for me to have that kind
of way on me, the way that it did for
so long and the way that it sometimes still does,
it can be really discouraging. And uh, just I'm naturally
the kind of person that wants to challenge things and say,
(04:18):
you know, I recognize the reality, but I also I'm
looking at what the future could be, you know. I'm
I'm kind of that person, and so I kind of
fight for that image in my head even when I
don't see it out in the world yet. And I
know that other people don't see it yet either, because
so many people are still subscribing to what those beauty
standards are in society, and so it's challenging. But then,
(04:39):
you know, people come along like Lizzo, and I'm like, yeah, sure, awesome,
this is great. You know, finding ways to just be
happy with your body at whatever size is so important.
And we'll get into more of that when we get
to the chorus. But that's why Brittany and I put
that as the first line of the first verse is
(04:59):
because there is so much pressure from society, and that's
why it's will never measure up to all the standards
obsessing over girls and magazines. So let's go ahead and
get to the next two lines. Hit it, Brittany on guitar, whoop.
We miss out of family meals around the table because
what grandma made is bad. So we're not able, alright.
(05:23):
So that little part which Brittany, you might be able
to relate to this as well. But when Brittany and
I were writing it, we were actually standing around my
kitchen island eating dinner, just throwing stuff out seeing if
it would stick. And I brought up that I missed
out on so many family meals. Not wasn't my grandma,
but like my dad loved to cook, and my mom
(05:45):
she was even a good cooking my sister. But I
just remember even probably a lot of the times being
at my sister's house with everybody coming over. My parents
were divorced, but my mom would come separately and my
dad would show up and we would all eat. We
weren't this modern family, don't get it twisted, but every
how he got along, and you know, I would bring
my own food or something along the lines of that,
(06:06):
or I would prepare other dishes that I knew that
I could eat from that I would then serve to
everybody else. And then probably I was a little obnoxious
around the table because I was judgmental of what everybody
else was eating, But really I was the one missing out,
and I would have such anxiety if I would eat
maybe what my family had prepared. So that's where that
(06:30):
line came from. And then we settled with the you know,
we missed out on family goes around the table because
what grandma made was bad, so we're not able. And
then that also leaned into the whole labeling foods is
good and bad. We're trying to undo that here on
out way and encourage you to undo that. We want
to be part of unlearning that certain foods are good
(06:52):
and certain foods are bad. And so yeah, I feel
like a lot of us grew up thinking like, oh man,
grandma made that with bacon grease, or grandma did this,
or she made biscuits with they have gluten or something
like that, and grandma just sounds better in the song.
So that's why we went that route. But grandma represents
any family time or time with friends or whatever that
(07:15):
looks like for you where you missed out. I even
think brittany of times, like I was in college, like
I had a hard time going out to dinner with
friends because I was freaking out about what I was
going to eat. Yeah. Also, I just want to interject
Amy is a great songwriter. Everyone stopped seriously. This is
the second song that we've written together. You're incredible, And
I mean the idea of having grandma in there is
(07:37):
like you immediately know what it means. I can't name
a single person in my life whose grandma like makes
the healthiest moves. Like I've never been to a grandma's
house and they've served me kle. I've never like they
might have greens, it's like cooked down. They might even
have a salad. But when you say grandma, I feel
like it just communicates the idea where people just know
right away, Like what you're talking about rich and awesome
(07:59):
and well a lot of hard, a lot of ingredients.
I struggle with that, Like for me as a plus
sized woman, I'm trying to learn balance. But what I'm
learning is that it's it's not just with food. I
really actually need to understand balance for my life in general.
So as I'm learning how to navigate my way with food,
I'm learning how to navigate my way with life. But
(08:20):
the idea of missing out on things because of food,
like I just I can't let it stress me out.
If I go to a friend's birthday party and they're
having pizza, I don't need to eat five slices. Maybe,
but but I also don't need to not go to
the party. And I also don't need to do anything
weird that makes everyone else uncomfortable about the food. And
I don't need to be uncomfortable with the food. Well,
(08:40):
but don't you think it's when we label something of
like if they're having pizza and then that's an off
limits item, so then that is restricting, So then that
makes the food more desirable, So then that makes you
want to have five slices. But then when you give
yourself permission to have the pizza. You don't need all
(09:02):
the pizza. This is or there's the it's not even balance,
it's recognizing, Okay, what is my body need right now?
Like you're a smart girl, and you know that, Like
there's certain foods that are gonna make you feel a
certain way and some that aren't. And nutrients, and there's
this wisdom that we get inner and outer from knowledge
(09:23):
that we have. And then also when our body is
just telling us, like hey girl, my new little greens
or something going on you've been here, or some fruit
or whatever. I remember, Gosh, when I think of fruit,
I would think of the times in my life where
I was scared to eat a banana. Which how messed
up is that to be scared of eating a banana?
But I know a lot of people listening you may
(09:45):
be in it right now, So I hate to even
say that it's messed up, because if that's you right now,
I get it. You are not messed up. You're on
your journey and you will get there. But for me,
I just am sad for that person, or I have compassion,
I guess I should for that person that was scared
to eat bananas but when all foods became fair game,
(10:06):
I didn't have this like, Okay, well I'm at this
party and this is a one time thing, so I
need to have all the pizza that I'm gonna have
because I'm never going to have it again. Do you
know what I mean? Then it becomes can become more like, oh,
if they have greens available, awesome, I'll put a little
greens on my plate. The pizza available awesome, put a
little pizza on my plate. They have cake, awesome, and
(10:26):
put a little cake on a plate. Do you know
what I mean? That's something that I'm learning right now,
Like I'm learning how to listen to my body, how
to it's not easy. It's not easy figuring out what
your body needs, figuring out where you are, I guess
in your journey. Like that's just something that I'm just
still figuring out. But the times that I would eliminate
myself from different scenarios with friends or families sometimes like
(10:49):
just thinking back when it's really heartbreaking, I remember when
I would lost a bunch of weight. I was like
working out like twice a day, and like I was
doing all kinds of stuff I was I didn't know
it was keto at time, Like I didn't know that
the name of it, but I was basically just doing
like all veggies and protein and the only fruit I
had was grape fruit. That was the only fruit that
(11:09):
I had, so like it was this like program that
I was like doing, and they were like, yeah, no fruit,
and they told me, like, you know, have grape fruit
only if you have to have fruit, or like a
like an orange, but like a little small one. And
I remember losing like seventy pounds and I remember looking
in the mirror and still seeing a two fifty pound girl,
and I remember thinking I'm depriving myself. And I looked different,
(11:30):
but I still felt terrible. And I was like, it
has to be something else that needs to change besides
my appearance. And so when I talk about the body,
I'm also just talking about my heart. I'm talking about
my mind. I'm talking about how do I feel inside
my own skin, because I personally know what it's like
to lose a bunch of weight and it still feel
like crap. And so that's what I'm figuring out. It
(11:51):
makes me think we're still working on which leads me
into something I want to throw out to you. Outweigh
fam that's listening. If you have ideas for lyric for
verse number two. Brittany and Lamy working on that. But
I feel like we need to incorporate into the second
verse about how you do all this to maybe get
to a certain size or whatever it is that you're
(12:12):
trying to do, which disordered eating and eating disorders are
not always about a number on a scale or being
skinny or anything like that. There's a lot of underlying
things that could be the route, you know, So just
making that clear right here, right now. But it makes
your world so small because you miss out on things,
(12:34):
and you miss out on memories with family and friends,
and then you're consumed with what you're eating, and you're
consumed with your workouts. And that's something that we talk
about often here, is how you're just so small right
your brain everything is. That's such a small way to live,
and we want to live bigger, We don't want to
(12:55):
live so small. So somehow we need to work that
into verse number two. And then yeah, if you'll have
any ideas, then send us emails because we would like
to know if you have any thoughts or lines or
ideas for verse number two because Brittany and I will
be writing that soon, and of course we'll share it
with y'all when we have it done. But let's go
ahead and get to the next part of the song.
(13:17):
You can go ahead and play from the beginning and
then we'll get into I mean, why not. I know
it's a podcast. It's hard to play songs on podcasts.
But since this is our original song and it's not
published anywhere, we can play it all we want. We'll
never measure up to all the standards, say us and
a Little Girls and magazines. We miss out family meals
(13:41):
around the table. That's what grandma man is bad, So able, Amy,
we'll starting just to feed you up. The hunger of
acceptance grabs you of the joy those moments bring. All right,
So I just was like wrapping Brittany up too, so
(14:04):
we could touch on that line, which is starving. So
it said we miss out on family meals around the
table because Grandma made is bad and we're not able.
Starving just to feed your other hunger of acceptance robs
you of the joy those moments spring. I love this
play on words here, starving just to feed your other
hunger of acceptance, because yes, we are all hungry for acceptance,
(14:29):
and then it's ironic because we will starve ourselves to
feed that, and it does it robs us of the
joy those moments spring. I mean, I don't feel like
we even really need to break this down that much
because it's so clear as a day for me right there. Yeah,
I definitely think so. We all just want to be accepted,
whether it's I want these pair of jeans in the
store to accept my legs, whatever we want. You know,
(14:53):
maybe at this certain job we need to feel we
need to look a certain way, like you being in
country music. That's an example right there, or any I mean,
it drives me crazy the pressure that is put on
artists and performers. And when I was listening to Jessica
Simpson's memoir called Open Book, she was talking about how
(15:14):
when she signed a record deal in New York and
she was a teenager, I mean, how petite and whatever
is Jessica Simpson And she went there and the record
label was like, this is great, We're gonna sign you. Awesome,
but you know you gotta lose fifteen pounds. I mean,
what the and that messed up? That was such a
crazy time that that was such a crazy time, and
I think there's some artists who still are kind of
pressured by their No, we are not out of this, absolutely,
(15:37):
we're not out of this by any means I know one.
There are artists that still feel that pressure from management
or labels or whoever it is that is controlling you know,
what they think is going to sell more, and that
this is the way you need to look. Well, sadly
it is because maybe, yeah, it will sell more. But
(15:58):
that's why we need to switch it up for the
future generations and make it a different story for them.
I agree, there'll be a bunch of kids like me
growing up thinking that they can't do the things that
they naturally dream up to do because they don't look
a certain way. And so I'm grateful that we live
in a I guess an age of authenticity. But there's
still a whole bunch of changes that need to be made,
(16:18):
because there's still a whole bunch of standards that are
put on people women, particularly to look a certain way,
and it's it doesn't help anybody. It just makes dollars
and sense, but it never made sense. It's crazy to
be the pressures that are on certain people but that's
that's a professional sense. But sometimes it might be in
a relationship. It might be a significant other that's making
(16:40):
you feel a certain way. It might be pressure from
a parent. I once dated a producer who told me
he wouldn't record me until I lost fifty pounds. That's
the real thing, now, granted, And so how did you
handle that? I don't think I ever did. I think
I thought, well, that makes sense. And quite honestly, I
don't even blame him. I blame the idea that he's
just so conditioned. I mean, he's is looking at the
(17:00):
same images I'm looking at, and he's thinking, this is
what sells. He's like, if you want to be successful,
you need to look like this, and this is when
you can start making music because this is when people
will listen to you. It's said, that's sort of conditioning.
It affects everybody. You're right, I mean, even to the
whole the Jessica Simpsons story, like the record label, they're
just like, Okay, well this is what we need to do.
(17:22):
There's just trying to cater to consumers. Exactly what do
you do when when the numbers show that when you
look a certain way, you sell more albums, you sell
more songs, and then the labels like okase media has
said this is what you need to look like, and
that's what we've seen and it's air brush and photoshopped
and this and that, which nobody even looks that way.
Who even knows what people look like anymore? No, nobody, nobody.
(17:45):
I mean we're getting a little bit more real now.
I think we went through a phase like that was
like the nineties or early two thousands and like the
you know magazines where it was at the grocery store checkoutline.
But now with social media, the pressure is the you know,
face tune or the know how you can edit it
or surgery. Your builters get bigger, lips get bigger whatever.
(18:08):
And and if you decide to do that, I get it,
like I love it, I'm all for it, like you know, bigger,
better go for it. But it's just there are people
who literally alter their bodies because they're trying to keep up.
It's one thing to do something to your body because
you just like it and you just decide, oh I
want implants or whatever, but then there's another thing to
do something because you need to keep up with the
(18:29):
images that you're seeing and there are people who literally
will destroy and alter their bodies just to keep up,
and that's harmful. Yeah, I just think it really boils
down to what are you doing to take care of
yourself and not to fit some mold that society says
you're supposed to be like, which brings me to our
(18:49):
chorus and not letting our bodies outweigh, which the tagline
for outweigh is alive without disordered eating, outweighs everything. And
so now we're going to break down the chorus really
quickly for y'all. So we'll just go ahead and sink
through that, and then I want Brittany to talk about
especially the mirror part, because that was inspired by Brittany
(19:09):
literally having a moment with her mirror when she would
get out of bed every day. So here we go,
we'll get into the chorus. Hit it, Brittany. I won't
let my body alway alway everything that I'm made of,
won't spend my life on a change. I'm learning a
love who I am. I am strong, I feel free,
(19:31):
I know every part of me is beautiful, and I
will always away if you feel it with your hands
in the air show, some love to the mirror. Why
you there. Let's take you one day at a time
because you and I, oh are you. Every time you
(19:55):
say put your hands in the air, I put them up.
Even though this is a podcast and you can't see that.
But I hope when y'all hear right, you put your
hands in the air. But really, like we want you
to know that, like your body should not outweigh everything
that you're made of. You're made of so much more
than just what's going on with what you look like.
So stop spending your life trying to change and then
(20:18):
really put in the work to learn to love who
you are because you're strong, and then when you get
to a certain point, like you will be set free
from this. And I was even thinking at dinner tonight.
I went out to dinner with my sister and Stashira,
and I was free. There were times where a dinner
like that would have stressed me out. But we ordered whatever,
(20:38):
and my daughter got to pick things. And my sister,
she hasn't ever had issues with food, Like we grew
up in the same household, same situation. She didn't struggle
with it. I did for whatever reason, just different things.
And so she is someone who has been impacted by
my disordered eating because I used to judge her for
eating a certain way or you know, like really going
(21:00):
to eat that, or she would feel like she would
maybe need to restrict to avoid any drama with me.
And I think for her it was a cool experience too,
because we all just ordered whatever we wanted and we
shared and we ate and we had a good time
and it was making those memories around the table with
family with no drama, just joy. So that was a
(21:20):
free moment, like I am strong, I am free, I
know every part of me is beautiful and hello ways
always so if you available, just I love to them.
Get there, okay, so pretty get into the mirror line
like when that part was written, like why did you
(21:43):
put that in there? Yeah? So I have a mirror,
a full size by the mirror in my apartment and
for the longest time I kept it inside a closet.
The whole point was one I'm minimalist, so I wanted
to kind of keep things out the way. But also
I really just didn't want to keep looking in the
mirror because I know that if I look in it,
I'll just keep pointing out my flaws and I just
(22:04):
didn't want to look at it. And so there was
a random time, like a few months ago where I
was like, you know what, the lighting isn't even good
over here. Like I'm a really like practical person. I
have to like find a practical reason to do something.
I was like, you know what, the lighting doesn't actually
hit the mirror right here, so I don't really get
to see the full scope of what I look like.
And I was like, you know what, I need to
just get over the sphere or this thing where I
(22:24):
just look in the mirror and I just want to
pick myself apart. And so I did it. I decided
to take the mirror out of the closet and I
just try to look in the mirror and see the
good things and not use it as a tool to
tear myself apart. Because this simple object, you can use
it in so many different ways. You can use it
to build yourself up, you can use it tear yourself down,
(22:45):
and honestly, there are times where I still look at
it and pick myself apart, but I'm working on it,
and I try to just build myself up more than
the tearing down part. And so you know, sometimes these
lyrics in this song. I feel them so strong, And
then there are other days where I'm like, but I
know they're true. Sometimes I'll just say it and show
some love to the mirror, like that's so reminded of myself.
(23:06):
Take it one day at a time, because the new
things change. You know, your bodies change every day, and
your mindset and change from one day to the next.
And so I'm just learning how to be patient and
be gentle with myself and to have compassion. Shout out.
Britney has a song called Compassion. You need to stream it. Now,
play a little bit of that one. Let's do that
(23:28):
before we wrap up, like a little bit of and
why did you write Compassion? I wrote Compassion because I
wanted to challenge myself to be more empathetic and put
myself in other people's shoes a whole lot more often.
All right, let's do verse and chorus. If I have
empty stop it makes you angry. Imagine life for people
(23:49):
on the street. If a neighbors untamed yard can drive
you christzy, imagine seeing bombs break there can create image
is something of importance only when you've got anything to prove.
(24:13):
But the world just don't seem fair and all is
loft you. It's a little or nothing to lose. Live
your life and time of your fun and share it
with everyone you love, raise your kids, and raise your
(24:38):
glass for every single freedom that we have. But while
we're looking for the next best thing to have happen heaven,
bravely off find some compastion. Love that. Brittany, thank you
so much for joining us today, for Outweigh and being
(25:00):
part of our Outweigh fam. Thank you, and I do
feel a part of the family. Are You're in the
fam and everybody listening right now is in the fam.
And we'll work on the second verse to the song
and you'll come back and we'll share it with everybody.
But again, don't forget to send us ideas if you've
got them. And brittany where can everyone find you on Instagram?
(25:20):
Britney Spencer and that's with two teas like Britney Spears
with an extra te I love that we have Britney
Spears as a reference. Oh I love it. If you
have a Toyota and you listen to my songs, it'll
have my name but a picture of Britney Spears and
like people keep like tweeting me and saying like this
should change and like doesn't need to kind of like, oh,
it's like a it's like an accident that's in an accident,
(25:40):
but it's a happy one, you know. Oh yeah, I know.
But it needs to represent you, yeah, not Brittany spirit.
But until that happens, like until they fix it, I'm
I'm actually kind of enjoying okay with it. Yes, okay,
so yes at Brittney Spencer b r I T t
in e y Spencer. There's just so many ways to
(26:01):
spell Brittany, so I thought I would clarify in case
maybe you don't know how to sep Britney spears his name,
and so I am super honored to call you friend.
I am so proud of all of your success that
is coming your way right now. It is well deserved.
You have been hard at it for many, many years.
I met Brittany at the Turnip Truck, which is a
(26:22):
natural foods grocery store here in Nashville, when she was
working there, and she made the best beat juice ever.
She knew how to get that ratio right of the beats,
the ginger and the how to do it. So I
will say That was probably back in my disordered eating
days because I was the real stickler about the ratio.
(26:43):
Now it would be way more laid back. I'd be like, hey,
no problem, more beats than lemon. It's fine, fine by me.
I don't care my body loves at all. I'll bring
you some. Okay, thank you Brittany, all right, and thank
you everybody for listening. Y'all are amazing. Hey, just do
us a favor if you happen to be listening and
you want to maybe screenshot and sharing your stories about
(27:04):
outweighs so we can spread the word and and start
changing that next generation. Because that's that's what it's going
to take. And I'm not even saying that it's going
to be throughout wagh. There's multiple avenues and ways and
people and and resources and things and all that are
going to make that happen. And we're honored to be
like one little, teeny tiny part of that. But if
(27:26):
you happen to listen you want a screenshot and share
on your Instagram stories, great, or if you haven't subscribed
to the podcast, subscribing would be amazing, and then next
level support would be rate and review five stars. If
you happen to have a non five star wish type review.
I am all about constructive criticism. Bring it on, but
(27:49):
you could leave it in a very kind manner, or
just send an email that way. It doesn't really have
to be for public consumption, but we can hear your
feedback and I will lean into that. Again, I'm not
scared of obstructive criticism at all in any way, shape
or form. But you know, sometimes it hurts to go
read that one star review and then it's out there
for the rest of the world to see, and then
(28:09):
it's just really not even really that fair, but then
it's there, you know, just lingers and then brings the
score down. So if you're a loyal person, maybe if
you haven't rated and reviewed, give us five stars and
do the same thing for Brittney song Compassion. Okay, all right,
bye guys, Bye,
I won't lend my body out be outwell everything that
I'm made do. Won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know who every part of me
It's beautiful and then will always out way if you
(00:24):
feel it with yours in the air, she's love to
the boy there. Let's say goode day and did you
and die out? All right? Heyy Outweigh fam, I have
a treat for you because our new Outweigh theme song
is my girl Britney Spencer singing, and now she's here
(00:44):
with us to do an episode. Hey Brett, do people
ever call you Brett? I think I just stood for
the first time. But Britney Spencer is an amazing singer
songwriter out of Nashville. And Lisa is not here with us.
She is in New York at home in Brittany and
I are just recording this at my house so to
just be me and Brittany. But Lisa's here in spirit, okay, yes,
(01:05):
because she is just as much a part of this
Outweighed journey and the story and even our theme song
and everything behind it as well you and I are.
But we have been working on it. We've got the chorus,
which is now the theme song for the podcast, but
we've worked on verse one and we're gonna work on
(01:25):
verse two. But I thought it would be interesting to
have Brittany come on and we break down why we
wrote the lyrics the way we did in the verse
and the chorus, because there's meaning behind the words. And
the first line is go ahead and sing it for everybody, Brittany,
because the theme song has already played for the intro
(01:47):
into this podcast, but it was just the chorus, so
we haven't played so we'll give This is like a breakdown,
a musical breakdown. It's very raw. Brittany's here with her guitar.
So what is the first line? Yeah, you want me
to see you don't see it. I want you to
sing it. We'll never measure you up to all the standards,
(02:07):
obsessing all the girls and magazines. All right, stop, that's it.
We have been told by society, through magazines and on
TV or media print wherever, that this is how we're
supposed to look. Now, I sit here on this podcast
as a privileged, thin white person, and I'm sitting here
(02:30):
with Brittany, who is a black woman who is full
of life and curves and all the things in the
most beautiful voice ever. But I mean, when it comes
to measuring up to all the standards and all the
girls we see in magazines, I'm closer to whatever that
is than you are. That's the reality. And I don't
(02:52):
know what it's like for you to be looking at
the magazines and just seeing a bunch of skinny white girls.
And so what message did that send to you? Um?
I mean, I think those messages to me always told
me that I needed to spend most of my life
trying to change. I needed to be a certain size.
(03:12):
I needed to I don't know, subscribe to some beauty
standard that I would never kind of measure up to.
I remember, specifically as a kid, like watching like a
bunch of country music videos and falling in love with
the genre because I didn't know country music until I
was like fourteen or fifteen, and I was watching all
the music videos and I was reading the magazines and
looking all all the things online, and I remember thinking
(03:36):
there's no black people and also, oh my goodness, I'm
not skinny. And so for me, I always kind of
battled this thing where I was too black for the genre.
I felt like I was too black because of the
images that I saw, and I didn't realize that until
honestly it so I was like older when I was like,
why why do I think this way? And I'm like, oh,
if I trace it back, I realized it's because of
(03:56):
lack of representation. But honestly, I never thought that I
could do me in general for a really long time,
or that I wouldn't be successful in it because of
my size, And so for me to have that kind
of way on me, the way that it did for
so long and the way that it sometimes still does,
it can be really discouraging. And uh, just I'm naturally
the kind of person that wants to challenge things and say,
(04:18):
you know, I recognize the reality, but I also I'm
looking at what the future could be, you know. I'm
I'm kind of that person, and so I kind of
fight for that image in my head even when I
don't see it out in the world yet. And I
know that other people don't see it yet either, because
so many people are still subscribing to what those beauty
standards are in society, and so it's challenging. But then,
(04:39):
you know, people come along like Lizzo, and I'm like, yeah, sure, awesome,
this is great. You know, finding ways to just be
happy with your body at whatever size is so important.
And we'll get into more of that when we get
to the chorus. But that's why Brittany and I put
that as the first line of the first verse is
(04:59):
because there is so much pressure from society, and that's
why it's will never measure up to all the standards
obsessing over girls and magazines. So let's go ahead and
get to the next two lines. Hit it, Brittany on guitar, whoop.
We miss out of family meals around the table because
what grandma made is bad. So we're not able, alright.
(05:23):
So that little part which Brittany, you might be able
to relate to this as well. But when Brittany and
I were writing it, we were actually standing around my
kitchen island eating dinner, just throwing stuff out seeing if
it would stick. And I brought up that I missed
out on so many family meals. Not wasn't my grandma,
but like my dad loved to cook, and my mom
(05:45):
she was even a good cooking my sister. But I
just remember even probably a lot of the times being
at my sister's house with everybody coming over. My parents
were divorced, but my mom would come separately and my
dad would show up and we would all eat. We
weren't this modern family, don't get it twisted, but every
how he got along, and you know, I would bring
my own food or something along the lines of that,
(06:06):
or I would prepare other dishes that I knew that
I could eat from that I would then serve to
everybody else. And then probably I was a little obnoxious
around the table because I was judgmental of what everybody
else was eating, But really I was the one missing out,
and I would have such anxiety if I would eat
maybe what my family had prepared. So that's where that
(06:30):
line came from. And then we settled with the you know,
we missed out on family goes around the table because
what grandma made was bad, so we're not able. And
then that also leaned into the whole labeling foods is
good and bad. We're trying to undo that here on
out way and encourage you to undo that. We want
to be part of unlearning that certain foods are good
(06:52):
and certain foods are bad. And so yeah, I feel
like a lot of us grew up thinking like, oh man,
grandma made that with bacon grease, or grandma did this,
or she made biscuits with they have gluten or something
like that, and grandma just sounds better in the song.
So that's why we went that route. But grandma represents
any family time or time with friends or whatever that
(07:15):
looks like for you where you missed out. I even
think brittany of times, like I was in college, like
I had a hard time going out to dinner with
friends because I was freaking out about what I was
going to eat. Yeah. Also, I just want to interject
Amy is a great songwriter. Everyone stopped seriously. This is
the second song that we've written together. You're incredible, And
I mean the idea of having grandma in there is
(07:37):
like you immediately know what it means. I can't name
a single person in my life whose grandma like makes
the healthiest moves. Like I've never been to a grandma's
house and they've served me kle. I've never like they
might have greens, it's like cooked down. They might even
have a salad. But when you say grandma, I feel
like it just communicates the idea where people just know
right away, Like what you're talking about rich and awesome
(07:59):
and well a lot of hard, a lot of ingredients.
I struggle with that, Like for me as a plus
sized woman, I'm trying to learn balance. But what I'm
learning is that it's it's not just with food. I
really actually need to understand balance for my life in general.
So as I'm learning how to navigate my way with food,
I'm learning how to navigate my way with life. But
(08:20):
the idea of missing out on things because of food,
like I just I can't let it stress me out.
If I go to a friend's birthday party and they're
having pizza, I don't need to eat five slices. Maybe,
but but I also don't need to not go to
the party. And I also don't need to do anything
weird that makes everyone else uncomfortable about the food. And
I don't need to be uncomfortable with the food. Well,
(08:40):
but don't you think it's when we label something of
like if they're having pizza and then that's an off
limits item, so then that is restricting, So then that
makes the food more desirable, So then that makes you
want to have five slices. But then when you give
yourself permission to have the pizza. You don't need all
(09:02):
the pizza. This is or there's the it's not even balance,
it's recognizing, Okay, what is my body need right now?
Like you're a smart girl, and you know that, Like
there's certain foods that are gonna make you feel a
certain way and some that aren't. And nutrients, and there's
this wisdom that we get inner and outer from knowledge
(09:23):
that we have. And then also when our body is
just telling us, like hey girl, my new little greens
or something going on you've been here, or some fruit
or whatever. I remember, Gosh, when I think of fruit,
I would think of the times in my life where
I was scared to eat a banana. Which how messed
up is that to be scared of eating a banana?
But I know a lot of people listening you may
(09:45):
be in it right now, So I hate to even
say that it's messed up, because if that's you right now,
I get it. You are not messed up. You're on
your journey and you will get there. But for me,
I just am sad for that person, or I have compassion,
I guess I should for that person that was scared
to eat bananas but when all foods became fair game,
(10:06):
I didn't have this like, Okay, well I'm at this
party and this is a one time thing, so I
need to have all the pizza that I'm gonna have
because I'm never going to have it again. Do you
know what I mean? Then it becomes can become more like, oh,
if they have greens available, awesome, I'll put a little
greens on my plate. The pizza available awesome, put a
little pizza on my plate. They have cake, awesome, and
(10:26):
put a little cake on a plate. Do you know
what I mean? That's something that I'm learning right now,
Like I'm learning how to listen to my body, how
to it's not easy. It's not easy figuring out what
your body needs, figuring out where you are, I guess
in your journey. Like that's just something that I'm just
still figuring out. But the times that I would eliminate
myself from different scenarios with friends or families sometimes like
(10:49):
just thinking back when it's really heartbreaking, I remember when
I would lost a bunch of weight. I was like
working out like twice a day, and like I was
doing all kinds of stuff I was I didn't know
it was keto at time, Like I didn't know that
the name of it, but I was basically just doing
like all veggies and protein and the only fruit I
had was grape fruit. That was the only fruit that
(11:09):
I had, so like it was this like program that
I was like doing, and they were like, yeah, no fruit,
and they told me, like, you know, have grape fruit
only if you have to have fruit, or like a
like an orange, but like a little small one. And
I remember losing like seventy pounds and I remember looking
in the mirror and still seeing a two fifty pound girl,
and I remember thinking I'm depriving myself. And I looked different,
(11:30):
but I still felt terrible. And I was like, it
has to be something else that needs to change besides
my appearance. And so when I talk about the body,
I'm also just talking about my heart. I'm talking about
my mind. I'm talking about how do I feel inside
my own skin, because I personally know what it's like
to lose a bunch of weight and it still feel
like crap. And so that's what I'm figuring out. It
(11:51):
makes me think we're still working on which leads me
into something I want to throw out to you. Outweigh
fam that's listening. If you have ideas for lyric for
verse number two. Brittany and Lamy working on that. But
I feel like we need to incorporate into the second
verse about how you do all this to maybe get
to a certain size or whatever it is that you're
(12:12):
trying to do, which disordered eating and eating disorders are
not always about a number on a scale or being
skinny or anything like that. There's a lot of underlying
things that could be the route, you know, So just
making that clear right here, right now. But it makes
your world so small because you miss out on things,
(12:34):
and you miss out on memories with family and friends,
and then you're consumed with what you're eating, and you're
consumed with your workouts. And that's something that we talk
about often here, is how you're just so small right
your brain everything is. That's such a small way to live,
and we want to live bigger, We don't want to
(12:55):
live so small. So somehow we need to work that
into verse number two. And then yeah, if you'll have
any ideas, then send us emails because we would like
to know if you have any thoughts or lines or
ideas for verse number two because Brittany and I will
be writing that soon, and of course we'll share it
with y'all when we have it done. But let's go
ahead and get to the next part of the song.
(13:17):
You can go ahead and play from the beginning and
then we'll get into I mean, why not. I know
it's a podcast. It's hard to play songs on podcasts.
But since this is our original song and it's not
published anywhere, we can play it all we want. We'll
never measure up to all the standards, say us and
a Little Girls and magazines. We miss out family meals
(13:41):
around the table. That's what grandma man is bad, So able, Amy,
we'll starting just to feed you up. The hunger of
acceptance grabs you of the joy those moments bring. All right,
So I just was like wrapping Brittany up too, so
(14:04):
we could touch on that line, which is starving. So
it said we miss out on family meals around the
table because Grandma made is bad and we're not able.
Starving just to feed your other hunger of acceptance robs
you of the joy those moments spring. I love this
play on words here, starving just to feed your other
hunger of acceptance, because yes, we are all hungry for acceptance,
(14:29):
and then it's ironic because we will starve ourselves to
feed that, and it does it robs us of the
joy those moments spring. I mean, I don't feel like
we even really need to break this down that much
because it's so clear as a day for me right there. Yeah,
I definitely think so. We all just want to be accepted,
whether it's I want these pair of jeans in the
store to accept my legs, whatever we want. You know,
(14:53):
maybe at this certain job we need to feel we
need to look a certain way, like you being in
country music. That's an example right there, or any I mean,
it drives me crazy the pressure that is put on
artists and performers. And when I was listening to Jessica
Simpson's memoir called Open Book, she was talking about how
(15:14):
when she signed a record deal in New York and
she was a teenager, I mean, how petite and whatever
is Jessica Simpson And she went there and the record
label was like, this is great, We're gonna sign you. Awesome,
but you know you gotta lose fifteen pounds. I mean,
what the and that messed up? That was such a
crazy time that that was such a crazy time, and
I think there's some artists who still are kind of
pressured by their No, we are not out of this, absolutely,
(15:37):
we're not out of this by any means I know one.
There are artists that still feel that pressure from management
or labels or whoever it is that is controlling you know,
what they think is going to sell more, and that
this is the way you need to look. Well, sadly
it is because maybe, yeah, it will sell more. But
(15:58):
that's why we need to switch it up for the
future generations and make it a different story for them.
I agree, there'll be a bunch of kids like me
growing up thinking that they can't do the things that
they naturally dream up to do because they don't look
a certain way. And so I'm grateful that we live
in a I guess an age of authenticity. But there's
still a whole bunch of changes that need to be made,
(16:18):
because there's still a whole bunch of standards that are
put on people women, particularly to look a certain way,
and it's it doesn't help anybody. It just makes dollars
and sense, but it never made sense. It's crazy to
be the pressures that are on certain people but that's
that's a professional sense. But sometimes it might be in
a relationship. It might be a significant other that's making
(16:40):
you feel a certain way. It might be pressure from
a parent. I once dated a producer who told me
he wouldn't record me until I lost fifty pounds. That's
the real thing, now, granted, And so how did you
handle that? I don't think I ever did. I think
I thought, well, that makes sense. And quite honestly, I
don't even blame him. I blame the idea that he's
just so conditioned. I mean, he's is looking at the
(17:00):
same images I'm looking at, and he's thinking, this is
what sells. He's like, if you want to be successful,
you need to look like this, and this is when
you can start making music because this is when people
will listen to you. It's said, that's sort of conditioning.
It affects everybody. You're right, I mean, even to the
whole the Jessica Simpsons story, like the record label, they're
just like, Okay, well this is what we need to do.
(17:22):
There's just trying to cater to consumers. Exactly what do
you do when when the numbers show that when you
look a certain way, you sell more albums, you sell
more songs, and then the labels like okase media has
said this is what you need to look like, and
that's what we've seen and it's air brush and photoshopped
and this and that, which nobody even looks that way.
Who even knows what people look like anymore? No, nobody, nobody.
(17:45):
I mean we're getting a little bit more real now.
I think we went through a phase like that was
like the nineties or early two thousands and like the
you know magazines where it was at the grocery store checkoutline.
But now with social media, the pressure is the you know,
face tune or the know how you can edit it
or surgery. Your builters get bigger, lips get bigger whatever.
(18:08):
And and if you decide to do that, I get it,
like I love it, I'm all for it, like you know, bigger,
better go for it. But it's just there are people
who literally alter their bodies because they're trying to keep up.
It's one thing to do something to your body because
you just like it and you just decide, oh I
want implants or whatever, but then there's another thing to
do something because you need to keep up with the
(18:29):
images that you're seeing and there are people who literally
will destroy and alter their bodies just to keep up,
and that's harmful. Yeah, I just think it really boils
down to what are you doing to take care of
yourself and not to fit some mold that society says
you're supposed to be like, which brings me to our
(18:49):
chorus and not letting our bodies outweigh, which the tagline
for outweigh is alive without disordered eating, outweighs everything. And
so now we're going to break down the chorus really
quickly for y'all. So we'll just go ahead and sink
through that, and then I want Brittany to talk about
especially the mirror part, because that was inspired by Brittany
(19:09):
literally having a moment with her mirror when she would
get out of bed every day. So here we go,
we'll get into the chorus. Hit it, Brittany. I won't
let my body alway alway everything that I'm made of,
won't spend my life on a change. I'm learning a
love who I am. I am strong, I feel free,
(19:31):
I know every part of me is beautiful, and I
will always away if you feel it with your hands
in the air show, some love to the mirror. Why
you there. Let's take you one day at a time
because you and I, oh are you. Every time you
(19:55):
say put your hands in the air, I put them up.
Even though this is a podcast and you can't see that.
But I hope when y'all hear right, you put your
hands in the air. But really, like we want you
to know that, like your body should not outweigh everything
that you're made of. You're made of so much more
than just what's going on with what you look like.
So stop spending your life trying to change and then
(20:18):
really put in the work to learn to love who
you are because you're strong, and then when you get
to a certain point, like you will be set free
from this. And I was even thinking at dinner tonight.
I went out to dinner with my sister and Stashira,
and I was free. There were times where a dinner
like that would have stressed me out. But we ordered whatever,
(20:38):
and my daughter got to pick things. And my sister,
she hasn't ever had issues with food, Like we grew
up in the same household, same situation. She didn't struggle
with it. I did for whatever reason, just different things.
And so she is someone who has been impacted by
my disordered eating because I used to judge her for
eating a certain way or you know, like really going
(21:00):
to eat that, or she would feel like she would
maybe need to restrict to avoid any drama with me.
And I think for her it was a cool experience too,
because we all just ordered whatever we wanted and we
shared and we ate and we had a good time
and it was making those memories around the table with
family with no drama, just joy. So that was a
(21:20):
free moment, like I am strong, I am free, I
know every part of me is beautiful and hello ways
always so if you available, just I love to them.
Get there, okay, so pretty get into the mirror line
like when that part was written, like why did you
(21:43):
put that in there? Yeah? So I have a mirror,
a full size by the mirror in my apartment and
for the longest time I kept it inside a closet.
The whole point was one I'm minimalist, so I wanted
to kind of keep things out the way. But also
I really just didn't want to keep looking in the
mirror because I know that if I look in it,
I'll just keep pointing out my flaws and I just
(22:04):
didn't want to look at it. And so there was
a random time, like a few months ago where I
was like, you know what, the lighting isn't even good
over here. Like I'm a really like practical person. I
have to like find a practical reason to do something.
I was like, you know what, the lighting doesn't actually
hit the mirror right here, so I don't really get
to see the full scope of what I look like.
And I was like, you know what, I need to
just get over the sphere or this thing where I
(22:24):
just look in the mirror and I just want to
pick myself apart. And so I did it. I decided
to take the mirror out of the closet and I
just try to look in the mirror and see the
good things and not use it as a tool to
tear myself apart. Because this simple object, you can use
it in so many different ways. You can use it
to build yourself up, you can use it tear yourself down,
(22:45):
and honestly, there are times where I still look at
it and pick myself apart, but I'm working on it,
and I try to just build myself up more than
the tearing down part. And so you know, sometimes these
lyrics in this song. I feel them so strong, And
then there are other days where I'm like, but I
know they're true. Sometimes I'll just say it and show
some love to the mirror, like that's so reminded of myself.
(23:06):
Take it one day at a time, because the new
things change. You know, your bodies change every day, and
your mindset and change from one day to the next.
And so I'm just learning how to be patient and
be gentle with myself and to have compassion. Shout out.
Britney has a song called Compassion. You need to stream it. Now,
play a little bit of that one. Let's do that
(23:28):
before we wrap up, like a little bit of and
why did you write Compassion? I wrote Compassion because I
wanted to challenge myself to be more empathetic and put
myself in other people's shoes a whole lot more often.
All right, let's do verse and chorus. If I have
empty stop it makes you angry. Imagine life for people
(23:49):
on the street. If a neighbors untamed yard can drive
you christzy, imagine seeing bombs break there can create image
is something of importance only when you've got anything to prove.
(24:13):
But the world just don't seem fair and all is
loft you. It's a little or nothing to lose. Live
your life and time of your fun and share it
with everyone you love, raise your kids, and raise your
(24:38):
glass for every single freedom that we have. But while
we're looking for the next best thing to have happen heaven,
bravely off find some compastion. Love that. Brittany, thank you
so much for joining us today, for Outweigh and being
(25:00):
part of our Outweigh fam. Thank you, and I do
feel a part of the family. Are You're in the
fam and everybody listening right now is in the fam.
And we'll work on the second verse to the song
and you'll come back and we'll share it with everybody.
But again, don't forget to send us ideas if you've
got them. And brittany where can everyone find you on Instagram?
(25:20):
Britney Spencer and that's with two teas like Britney Spears
with an extra te I love that we have Britney
Spears as a reference. Oh I love it. If you
have a Toyota and you listen to my songs, it'll
have my name but a picture of Britney Spears and
like people keep like tweeting me and saying like this
should change and like doesn't need to kind of like, oh,
it's like a it's like an accident that's in an accident,
(25:40):
but it's a happy one, you know. Oh yeah, I know.
But it needs to represent you, yeah, not Brittany spirit.
But until that happens, like until they fix it, I'm
I'm actually kind of enjoying okay with it. Yes, okay,
so yes at Brittney Spencer b r I T t
in e y Spencer. There's just so many ways to
(26:01):
spell Brittany, so I thought I would clarify in case
maybe you don't know how to sep Britney spears his name,
and so I am super honored to call you friend.
I am so proud of all of your success that
is coming your way right now. It is well deserved.
You have been hard at it for many, many years.
I met Brittany at the Turnip Truck, which is a
(26:22):
natural foods grocery store here in Nashville, when she was
working there, and she made the best beat juice ever.
She knew how to get that ratio right of the beats,
the ginger and the how to do it. So I
will say That was probably back in my disordered eating
days because I was the real stickler about the ratio.
(26:43):
Now it would be way more laid back. I'd be like, hey,
no problem, more beats than lemon. It's fine, fine by me.
I don't care my body loves at all. I'll bring
you some. Okay, thank you Brittany, all right, and thank
you everybody for listening. Y'all are amazing. Hey, just do
us a favor if you happen to be listening and
you want to maybe screenshot and sharing your stories about
(27:04):
outweighs so we can spread the word and and start
changing that next generation. Because that's that's what it's going
to take. And I'm not even saying that it's going
to be throughout wagh. There's multiple avenues and ways and
people and and resources and things and all that are
going to make that happen. And we're honored to be
like one little, teeny tiny part of that. But if
(27:26):
you happen to listen you want a screenshot and share
on your Instagram stories, great, or if you haven't subscribed
to the podcast, subscribing would be amazing, and then next
level support would be rate and review five stars. If
you happen to have a non five star wish type review.
I am all about constructive criticism. Bring it on, but
(27:49):
you could leave it in a very kind manner, or
just send an email that way. It doesn't really have
to be for public consumption, but we can hear your
feedback and I will lean into that. Again, I'm not
scared of obstructive criticism at all in any way, shape
or form. But you know, sometimes it hurts to go
read that one star review and then it's out there
for the rest of the world to see, and then
(28:09):
it's just really not even really that fair, but then
it's there, you know, just lingers and then brings the
score down. So if you're a loyal person, maybe if
you haven't rated and reviewed, give us five stars and
do the same thing for Brittney song Compassion. Okay, all right,
bye guys, Bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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