April 18, 2023 • 40 mins
Double standards are everywhere!! Amy & Kat talk about a long list of things that are socially acceptable for a man to do, but frowned upon when a woman does it! For example: "being dedicated to your work and, as a result, missing time with your kids" or "not wanting to have children because clearly that means you're wasting your life." Don't even get us started on "dad bods vs mom bods" and "women being the primary breadwinner!"
Hope you enjoy this topic and feel encouraged to ditch any deep rooted double standards that might be buried in the back of your brain that you didn't even realize that you had!
Have the day you need to have!!
HOSTS:
@Kat.Defatta // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast
Send emails for the 5th Thing to 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and I've got a serious quote, and then
Kat has a funnier quote. So mine is from Peaceful
Underscore Barb on Instagram, which I screenshot this and sent
it to my sister the other day. And Peaceful Underscore
Barb just showed up for me as a suggested follow
(00:24):
I don't follow her, but I thought, oh, I was
gonna be sending my sister something cool like, oh, look
at this person, and she goes, oh, I follow Peaceful Barb.
This is great and so and I see under the lie,
I mean, she has like so many likes the Nashville
Beauty Girl, like you know how when someone else is following,
you can see who of your people have liked it.
So anyway, she posted, I don't know who needs to
(00:46):
hear this, but you don't always have to tell your
side of the story time will I thought that was good,
Now lighten it up.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Well I like that, but I am going to switch
it up, which is different because usually you do the
funny quote and I do that serious quote. So mine
comes from thirty something Props. My friends just sent this
to me and it says I used to be an athlete.
Now my watch congratulates me for standing up, which is
like all of our stories of being like I'm not
(01:15):
a college athlete but high school athlete, and now it's like, congratulations,
you stood up and breathed today.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
My outweigh episode for just the other day on Saturday,
when it was leased, was about well, actually not working out,
because I went through a time in early parts of
my recovery I was like, oh, I'm just not gonna
work out that much because I used to working out
too much was part of my some stuff I needed
(01:42):
to work through, and so I sort of was rebelling
in a way, especially from yoga because I used to
go twice a day and then it's like, okay, well
now I'm not and I honestly I haven't done yoga
in so long. I did go to a self care
workshop a month and a half ago maybe, and that
was amazing and they did a whole yoga thing and
(02:04):
I was like, oh, I should do this more, which
that is part of what I talked about in that
type of movement, but if you're doing it for the
mind body connection. I used to go to yoga, like
hot yoga for ninety minutes twice a day to sweat
it out and torture myself. So that's what I needed
to pull back. But if I want to do mindful
body connection type yoga, that's a very different type of movement.
(02:25):
But anyway, I decided to share a bunch of different
examples of how to release endorphins without exercise because maybe
you're in a season of like you need a press
pause on that for a little bit, but you still
want to get some of the benefits that come with
working out, which could be endorphins getting released, because I
(02:45):
honestly I don't know if just standing up releases endorphins,
but like acupuncture or massage, and then serotonin is also
released during certain things, And so I went over a
whole thing. I mean, you don't even have to have
any eating disorder issues or whatever to benefit from that episode.
I think it's just sometimes we put so much pressure
(03:05):
on ourselves to make sure that we're moving, our bodies
are doing this, which yes, there are benefits of that
one hundred percent, but sometimes if we have an unhealthy
relationship with it, we might need to well, yeah back.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
And that helps like just create flexibility in your mind
of thinking that endorphins come from running and this and that.
But endorphins can come from a lot of things, and
people might not realize that because we're just fed the
like go for a run, go for a walk, take
this class, and you'll feel better versus wait, that thing
can happen in your brain when you do this too.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
That is why I ran a marathon when I was
in college. I acted like it was I don't even know,
but it was so that I was forced in a way,
and I had a training schedule and I to run
when it's because high running yeah, yeah, And I think
sometimes honestly, I would say got the runners high and
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
You're like, I actually don't know what the runner's high is.
Can somebody tell me?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
And now you probably can pay me to run. And
mainly because I hurt my knee, yeah, because of the
marathon and foot and so it makes running difficult. But
it's just like, oh, that's not my thing. And so
it's also switching your mindset. Sometimes you have to take
a break from something fully to then reset and say, Okay, now,
what what do I really want to do to move
(04:15):
my body? If I'm able? And I did a walking
meditation the other day because you know, I'm doing a
twenty one day meditation challenge. Oh you are, yeah, And
one of them the other day was a ten minute
walking meditation where she walked you through when you were walking.
But she said, if for some reason you're not able
to walk for you know, in your you have to
(04:35):
stay you know, seated or laying or whatever because of
depending on your circumstances. She was like, I want you
to dis close your eyes and imagine yourself walking and
that that can be pretty powerful too, as she took
us through this guided walking meditation, which meditation was another
one of the things. Yeah, that can release some doorphins.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah. Well, and you know what's funny is you mentioning
the marathon. I had a friend that ran a marathon
the other week, maybe two weeks ago, and she texted
me after immediately and she said, I'm never doing that again.
And that's what I said after I ran my first marathon,
I said, I'm never doing that again. And she's somebody
who likes running, and I'm somebody who really likes running,
but we don't have to take it to the extreme
to enjoy it. Like I don't know if there's no athlete.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Yeah, but I'll be like, hey, would you and Patrick
do today? And you're like, we ran the Capitol Steps.
I'm like, oh, sounds awful, but.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
That's not a marathon. That's what I'm saying. I like
doing that, but I don't want to do that for
four hours. That's what a marathon is for four hours.
And so when you're talking about doing the yoga, it's like, yeah,
you might like yoga, but we don't have to take
it to the extreme. We're allowed to enjoy it in
small doses and it be just as meaningful and good
for us.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
A laughter is another thing that releases endorphins, which is
so speaking of running, do you.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Laugh when you're running?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Laughter? What's Forrest Gump's password?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Is this a joke?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah? Oh, it's one that I know I just scumps past.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah, I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
One forest one, one forest one, which I shall laughter.
Were releasing endorphins, we have to work out. Take that
apple watch or whatever was it the joke about apple
Watch or a fitbit or whatever. Okay, so I have
a list of things that are socially acceptable for men
(06:19):
but not women gender double standards. They're obviously something that
show up everywhere, and when I saw this, I thought, huh,
this might be interesting to go over with Kat, especially
being that your licensed therapist. What are your letters?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
LPC whenever's for Licensed Professional counselor and then Mental Health
Service provider so MHSP. So that lets me diagnose people. Oh,
you have to have that in Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Okay, well I got this article. I think maybe BuzzFeed
had something. There was a few other articles that pulled
something that was posted on Reddit where they pulled people
and thousands of people replied to share Some of the
double stand like being dedicated to your work and as
a result missing time with your kids. For men, that's
(07:09):
like an obvious thing, but if a woman does that,
she gets questioned.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
She doesn't care about her kids.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Yeah, it seems like we've come so far from that,
But in some ways I know that my brain still
has some of these. It's not because I believe it,
but it's just somewhere in my childhood or growing up,
I heard certain things enough to where now I'm like, oh,
I don't know that I should be doing that. Then
I'm like, wait a second, is that really how I feel?
(07:36):
Or somewhere deep buried down in my brain that thought
is coming up.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I did an interview with this woman. She's so brilliant.
Her name is Tory Dunlap and she's has a podcast
called Financial Feminist and does a lot of work helping
women and taking control of their finances. She's very knowledgeable
in something that is predominantly run by men, you know,
the finance world. And I asked her if, like, what's
some of the stuff that she's faced and how she
(08:03):
felt like she's been judged or misjudged by people because
of that, and she said, honestly, it doesn't come from
men as much. It comes from women having those preconceived
judgments that are built into us, right, Like you were saying, like,
I mean I have these thoughts, and it's not because
I really want to think That's why. It's just been
ingrained in my brain to think that way. And she said,
(08:24):
so it's been more seeing that women, because I want
to be supported by women and I'm supporting women are
having these judgments on me versus the men. The men
like I can expect that, but it's the women. And
I was like, wait a second, I do that, Like
these are probably going to these things that you're reading
off are probably gonna make me so mad. But if
I'm honest, I've probably had those thoughts of like, oh, gosh,
(08:45):
I can't believe she's missing her kids soccer tournament to
go do this thing for work.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Oh, and you don't have kids yet. But like as
me as a mom, I might have that thought about myself, Yeah,
a judgment towards someone else. I might start judging myself,
yeah when I shouldn't be, yeah, doing anything wrong. And
I know I'm still a good mom. You can't be
great at all the things like something is going to do.
If you're excelling in one area, you're missing out in
(09:10):
another area. That Shonda Ryan's commencement speech. She says that
so beautifully. You can just google those words on YouTube
and it'll come up, and it is such a good speech.
I've watched it multiple times, just different like if either
I'm looking for something and it kind of pops up,
or somehow I come across it again and I get
(09:31):
sucked in because what she's saying is so wise, it's
so true, and it's empowering, and it's that permission that
maybe you need to you know, it's okay to pursue
a career and be successful, and it's okay to be
over here and be an amazing mom. So I highly
recommend you watch that. Okay, letting your hair grow naturally
(09:53):
gray before you're very old, which for men that's one
thing where they get to just do it, but with women,
it's like, what.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
You're why wouldn't you carry your grays up? Right?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Well, Allie fallon our friends, she's letting her hair go
naturally gray, and she's in the process of growing it
out right now, and she was coloring it so I
would say, from like her ears down, it's brown and
then from her ears up it's gray. And she was
over at my house the other day and she was
talking about these videos that she's got a film, and
(10:24):
she doesn't like that it's two colors right now. She's like,
I think I'm gonna probably do my hair in a
ponytail so that you just see the gray. And she's
all about it. She's dedicated and she's committed and she's like, hey, yeah,
I don't want to color my hair anymore. And I'm like,
I think that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
And also, how much money are you saving?
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
So nice?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I mean I have a few grays that are showing
right now, and I'm freaking out. But I'm like, why
am I freaking out?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
It's part of it.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I'm forty two years old and it's part of life.
I'm personally still going to color my hair because I
want to, but I shouldn't freak out over a few
grays being in there.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yeah. Well, I will say I feel like that one
is kind of on both sides because I think if
a guy was like, oh, I have to go get
my hair colored, women are like huh, guys, aren't take
that true.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Some people that I know they just for men their beards,
and I'm like, what's that. Beards are the firsts I
believe they go gray before the hair, and so in
order for it to match, they'll put a little just
for men die on their beards. Like I don't know
why Ray from the Bobby Bonchow did this once, but
it's so obvious to me, and I just remember being like, no,
(11:29):
we do not need to do that. But then I
need to be quiet because I color my hair, so
I should just stop.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yes, And I will also say when men go gray,
it's like ooh, salt and pepper, like attractive and when
women go gray, it's a different You don't have that
same So do.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
You think of somewhere deep down that's some weird thing
about how retracted to people that are older and wiser
and care for us and protect us the issues. I
don't know. Having body hair, I guess guys can have it.
Women can't these days. But no, I like smith skin.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
But I switched too.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
If I went out on a date with a guy
before I got married, it was probably one of the
last people that I ever dated before my wedding. So
I was probably twenty three twenty four years old, and
I met this guy at the gym and he asked
me out in the parking lot and was like, okay,
I'd seen him around the gym a lot. So we
went out a few times, and maybe it was the
(12:26):
third date. I never had noticed his legs before. And
we went to the lake to canoe or kayak or something,
and he was wearing shorts and I was right next
to his legs and I saw they were shaved, and
I was like, oh, and I could I could no
longer date him. I wouldn't be that way now, but
me then I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Did you say so weird. Did you say like, oh,
I see your legs are I.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Was like, oh, he must be a cyclist, but he's not.
He wasn't.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
He just liked it.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yeah, And I just thought that was odd. But see, yeah,
it's a double standard.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah. And I think also to an extent like yeah,
man can have body here, but you also hear women
being like, oh he had so much back here, Like
we still do that.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Another one would be not wanting to have children. If
you're a woman who has decided that you don't want children,
people call you lonely or selfish. They'll assume that you're
wasting your life away because apparently all women are here
for procreating.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, that one's pretty strong, Like the you'll never know
a love like a mother's love kind of thing. I'm like,
you're missing now, like this is your calling and it's
not everybody's calling.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Eating that next slice of pizza or other food shaming things.
The number of times that people have been maybe with
a group of people and they're in their head trying
to debate whether or not they should have the slice
because they fear someone's going to make a comment about it.
And by people I mean women. Yeah, that's huge, huge,
being the primary or soul breadwinner. Someone shared that they
(13:53):
were making more money than their ex and childcare was
super expensive, so they decided that the ex could stay home.
The man stayed home and the wife worked, and people
were completely blown away by their decision to do that.
I feel like we've turned that corner.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
We haven't because I think this was highlighted I think
a lot in COVID because men are programmed by us
to be the providers and women are the caretakers, and
so we've done work on it, but still people get,
I think, really scared of that switch because well, if
men are staying home, now, how are you able to
(14:30):
provide and take care of and is she able to
do that? I think people still look at women of like,
can you can you really run a business? Can you
really keep that job? Can you really hold your emotions
together to make those decisions? I think people still see that.
So that guy was probably, or he had to be,
to some extent, pretty stable and secure, but then se
(14:51):
sounds like the people around them were like, you're really
gonna do that because that's their innate bias of like
I would never let my wife do that because she
can't da da and then because they're stripped of what
they can offer.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah, okay, I guess we haven't round it. Why was
I thinking we had rounded that corner.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
But it's happening more. It's happening more and which I
think is awesome. But when we really turn the corner,
it will be when nobody thinks about it, like, oh,
you stay home and take care of the kids, or
you just want to stay home because your wife can
provide a family for both of you and you don't
even have kids. When you don't think about that, that's
when we'll turn the corner. But we still are like, huh,
(15:28):
that's weird. I wonder how he feels about that. That's
usually the thought that pops up in my head.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I guess the double standard could be two with that
is if the man is working in a woman, whether
there's kids in the picture or not. I mean, obviously
if she's raising children or whatever. But let's say she
doesn't work, she's stay at home, whatever, it's like gold Okay, well,
maybe there could be that she's a gold digger or
she's stay at home. But if a guy were to
just stay and the woman was working, and he'd have anything.
(15:56):
Your friends would be like, he's a loser.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Yeah, he's just mooching off of you, But you wouldn't
think because I guess you're right. Sometimes it is a
gold digger, but sometimes it's like normal, yeah, to just
stay home just to be available. But yeah, he's a
mature he's living off of you. He's okay.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
What about not wanting to get married or choosing to
be single? In general, women can't just I guess do that.
They always get questioned why are you get married? Why
what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Or yeah, why are you single? Why aren't you married?
You're so great? Why aren't you married? Because I don't
want to? Or because I don't know. If you're listening
and you like to ask that question, I just want
to encourage you to stop.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Was it Diane Keaton? I recently saw an article where
she was and she said this is multiple times, but
it popped back up in an interview where people like,
why did you never get married? Or why aren't you dating?
And she's like, nobody asked, Like, nobody's asked me, so,
I mean, which, I don't know why. Maybe I didn't
read the full article.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
I don't think it was bad but yeah, sad.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
In any way, but she's just like, stop making it
about that, Like I'm not going because nobody's but I'm
also content and happy.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
With It's like you can't be. I did an episode
on You Need Therapy called single people are not second
class citizens because one people are just getting married later.
But people cannot fathom the idea that somebody can live
a content, wonderful life and not be in a relationship
or married. And it's very possible everybody. I did it
for a long time.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
I'm single now, so but I guess I don't see
myself as single. It's weird for me to say that
out loud right now, but I guess I am yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
But has it really hit you?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I guess I don't see myself as single. It's weird
for me to say that out loud right now, but
I guess I am yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
But has it really hit you?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I think it's certain points it hits me, but it's
so full, like, Okay, well, I've got the kids, like
I'm a mom.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Well, would it feel like if somebody went up to
you and was like, why aren't you dating? Why aren't
you getting out there? Why don't you why don't you, And.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I'd be like, well, slow your horses. I mean, it's
not quick, and that it was a two year process,
so it's not like this has just happened yesterday. But
it still feels weird because the official ending of the
marriage was recent, even though we knew a long time
ago that it was and we were just working through
(18:22):
the process. But it's like until you signed that dotted line,
that's the more fresh part. So I guess that made
it official. But it's interesting putting myself in that category.
I don't mind it. I don't have any shame around it,
but it just feels different, and it should because for
like almost two decades I was with somebody almost I'm
(18:44):
saying that now because I'm like, I got to do
the math. I got married in two thousand and six,
so seventeen years I was married. Seventeen years? Yeah, would
that be this year? Seventeen years?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
And so we in the Doors was final this year,
so we've officially made it sixteen.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Although some of that we weren't really together, but we were,
but you still were in a relationship, so it's still
that's a long time.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Okay, it's official. I can just say, yes, I'm single. Okay,
when I go fill out paperwork, I have to check
that box.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
What's that like?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
I don't know, I haven't held anything out.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Yes, have you ever forgotten to check the box?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
No, I mean I haven't had to. It's like that's
the thing I'm just not It's just new, so I'm
sure I'll get used to it. Dad bods. Someone said,
it gets me so worked up that people celebrate the
whole idea of a dad bod. Meanwhile, women, the ones
who actually go through the body trauma of pregnancy and
child bearing, are shame for having a mom bod.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Just a body, a body. Yes, I was.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Listening to this book and I don't even know the title.
You know, on audible you can listen to samples, So anyway,
I was checking one out and I feel like she
was saying that men don't notice the changes in our
bodies like we do women's bodies women, and that sometimes
we get all worked up if our body has changed
(19:59):
as we a, as we have children, and our body
is changing, we think they are noticing all these things
that they're really not or they don't. I mean, if
they really love you for who you are, like they're
not as bothered by it as you may think they are.
Is that track.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
I think that that's not always true. But most of
the time, if you're talking about your partner, yeah, they're
not noticing if they really love you for you. They're
seeing you through the eyes that they love you. They're
not seeing you through these critical eyes. But there are
some people that are pretty critical out there, and I
think that's what perpetuates it.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Not knowing how to properly care for your child. When
a dad doesn't know how to change a diaper, people
think it's funny and totally understandable, But if a mom
didn't know how to change a diaper, people would lose
their minds, lose their minds, and I don't have the
first clue how to take care of a child.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
My sister in law just had two twins. They're literally
a week tiny. They're little babies. They're a week old,
and I was feeding one of them and I had
to burp him, and I was so freaked out because
I was like, mom, I'm not doing it right. And
then my little niece was like, I don't think he
can breathe the way you're holding him. So I was
like oh no, mo. Like I was freaking out. And
then my brother just like took the baby and was like,
(21:09):
I was like, it looks like you're suffcating it, but
I guess it's how you do it, and burped them.
It was fine, but I was such a mess, and
I was like, when I have a baby, you will
be living with me. But I feel like, as a woman,
I should just innately know how to burp a child. Well,
nobody's taught me that, and it's scary. They're so little.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
It's kind of interesting that you have a baby and
you leave the hospital and it's like, now I'm in
charge of this and I never I never went through that.
But I got adopted kids and suddenly I had a
seven year old and a ten year old and we
were like, we're supposed to care for and they came
here speaking no English. Yeah, and I'm like, now they're
in my home and I can barely understand what they're saying.
And they were having full blown conversations with each other
in Haitian creole, and I one hundred percent fact there
(21:48):
were times they were talking crap about us, for sure,
like no doubt, I've tried to ask them, but they
don't really remember. Oh yeah, that was you know, that
was a big change in their life. There was a
lot happening, and I try to say, hey, you know,
sometimes y'all be in the backseat of the car and
y'all be talk talk talk, talk talking, and Dad and
I were convinced that y'all were talking bad about us.
(22:09):
Do you remember what were you saying? And she's like, probably,
but I don't remember what we were saying. At least
that's what my daughter will say, is that maybe one
day she'll remember. But yeah, that's a fact. I know
they were because we were like, who are these people?
What are we doing? They don't even understand us. They
don't even know what we need. I just said I
needed a cracker, and she gave me like a toothbrush,
(22:31):
you know, like I don't know why he's cracker. As
an example, things that pop into my mind, but the
diaper changing thing, it makes me think of Eddie from
the Bobby Bone Show. He's got four kids, to biological
to adopted, and I think his first kid he did
not change a diaper, maybe once or something, but it's
(22:51):
something that he talks about. And he's very different type
of dad. Now, but he used to be like, yeah, no,
I didn't do that. My my, how do I know
we've already heard about farmer? But it's hard to say Ben, Yeah,
I just been Ben because that I don't like saying anyway.
But if you want to say, I'm saying if you're
(23:12):
in my position and you say, ex, that's fine.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
It's just LA.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
This is weird for me, Houston. I'm just like making noises.
You don't have to cut any of this out. That's
our signal to Houston to if we've messed up is
and he knows to kind of clean it up a
little bit. Uh, but you can keep this in. I'm
just being awkward. So his dad, I'm pretty sure because
he was in the Air Force and was at Vietnam
(23:37):
and wasn't home too much. But when he was, he
didn't change diapers. I think there is a story they
tell even when he was watching. I don't know if
it's been or one of his sisters. His mom wasn't
home and the baby had a dirty diaper, and he
went to the neighbor's house. I was like, can you
do this?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
So I could figure that out.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
But this was, you know, seventies, you know again he
was deployed a lot. It's I think he just freaked
out and was like, oh, I don't know what to do.
Not that he was too good for it, but he
just didn't want to do it wrong. And it's like
nobody walked him through it. So but to adopt, I
had to take when which we ended up adopting older children.
But we were going to adopt a newborn domestic baby,
(24:20):
so we had to go through a lot of adoption
training for that. And at our courses are classes that
we had to take. They had little fake babies in
there and we had to change their diaper.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I'm going to need that course, whether or not I'm
adopting or not, I'm going to need that course. I
can change a diaper, though, it's the other stuff.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Get a doll, this is literally what we did. You
don't need the course.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Like all we had those dolls in middle school? Did
you have those? We'd like take home these dolls and
they would cry and you would an egg. Yeah, we
had actual doll and I do remember my brother put
his in his dresser drawer and shut it. He did
not soothe the baby. It cried all weekend. Yeah, I
went down to my parents' room and I said, well,
I can't make it stop crying, and she said, babies cry.
(25:02):
That was her help.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Did they still do that?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I don't know. I'm sure if they do, it's more
high tech than that because we had like feed them,
we had to change them. It wasn't just like an egg.
We didn't have to break in middle school? Why right
do we know? Was eleven?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I just went through my daughter in middle school. She
did not have to do it, so I guess, or
maybe it's just the public the type of school, because
she wasn't in public school. I'm not listen. I don't know,
but I guess your brother had to take home the dolls,
so that's it. It wasn't just the females had to know.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Everybody had to do it the dolls.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Which is awesome. But I guess was that in homac
or health it was called teen living. See mine was
homack and we had to take an egg, but it
was just about caring for the egg and not breaking
it and dropping it. And you learned all kinds of
other things in homeac. But I'm like, we should have
been learning to, like how to I don't know.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Do your taxes.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yes, yeah, I would have loved that save money.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Yeah, how do you make a Bundy get tire? That
would have been really nice. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
I still don't know how I call Moody's shout out
because they gave out the set of tires at both
of the live shows in Nashville, like they have legit
rescued me multiple times.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I would love to learn how to like check your
oil like all that kind of stuff. That would have been
really nice.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Oh, I have no idea how to.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Reset the breakers in your house. I blew a fuse
this weekend. So how call you?
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Did you learn?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Well? I figured it out, but I did call my dad.
He didn't answer, So I was like, I guess I'm
on my own. Mine's easy. Everything's labeled and you just
have to flip the breaker switch.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Okay, that's what I knew. How I know how to
do that?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yeah, But I have one point.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
I'm not shaming not. I just thought you had it
was like a different I thought it was something like
a step further than the flipping it where it says.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
No, it was just flipping there.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Okay, but this is a new home for you.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
But that's actually something there's a double standard that like women,
it's okay for them not to know how to do
that stuff, but if the man doesn't know how to
hang a picture frame or do this to do that,
then that's looked at us like I can't believe you
don't know how to do that. Yeah, so they might
not have to know how to change a diaper, but
if they're like, oh, I don't know how to work
a power drill, You're like, oh God.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
So is that something I need to work through? Because
my personal preference if I when I start dating, would
I would prefer he know how to do things. But
is that like a dad that's your dang because yeah,
I'll say them their dad. I say daddy because daddy issues.
But I never called my dad daddad. But I know
some people say, like my cousins, they would call they're
(27:27):
from Alabama, they say Mama, daddy.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
You know, do you know Patrick calls his dad daddy.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
I mean, so people listening right now they called it.
They know daddy doesn't make anything of it. Back to
I mean, I was talking about Eddie a minute ago.
His kids say dad, daddy, I think, And whenever he says,
he says daddy because they're saying daddy to him. I'm like,
stop saying daddy. I don't like hearing him say daddy.
But that's my stuff I need to work through. It's
not that big a deal. But anyway, is it a
(27:55):
dad thing because my dad was so handy and could
fix everything.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Yeah, because that's what you think of. I mean, that's
the same thing with my dad. He knows how to
do everything. How I've seen it is I'm like, well,
I don't need you do that because my dad will
do it, which I think can actually impact relationships because
I'll still rely on my dad versus my partner. But
when we think of somebody, if we have a really
good relationship with our dad, and sometimes if we don't,
when we think of a man, that's what we views.
(28:21):
That was my example. So if you don't know how
to change a light bulb, then you're not a man.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
My dad also left when I was nine, so you
have had a lot of stuff. I mean, he was
still around, but he definitely moved out and moved on,
but still was your example of the man in your life.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
That's what he did.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Another example that I just thought of because I'm looking
at your brows and they look really good, and I
know I just had my brows done too, which we
go to the same person shout out Megan. But I
started to think, I know that Megan has done microblading
brows on guys, and I would I think I get
my brows microblated, and it's no problem because I want
(28:59):
to feel more confident and get ready faster and not
spend time on my brows and just have that part
filled out, especially because yes, I was a nineties early
two thousand person that plucked all my brows away. And
it also is you age, it's harder to get them
to grow AnyWho, I am thinking, would I be okay
if a guy got his brows micro bladed, or would
(29:20):
I do you would have a thought I'd be like shaved,
shave your legs guy, where I was instantly like.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Oh okay, or the beard tint or whatever it's called,
Oh yeah, just for men. Yeah, it's the same thing, right,
So if a.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Guy wants to get his brows micro bladed by Megan,
he should be able to.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I think sometimes it can be not that big of
ad to have that thought of like, oh, like that's interesting,
but to have the thought that's like there must be
something wrong with them because they get their brows microbladed,
or because they don't add to change a light bulb,
or because they stay at home versus they provide for
the family. That's the issue, is we think that there's
something off with them versus Oh, and then they just
(29:56):
have a different they do it differently than that person. Yeah, yeah,
we have to work through it.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Is it that I want them to be more confident
than that? Do you? That's the thought I just had.
I don't know, do I?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Well, should you be more confident?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Then sure, I probably should be. Yes, I have several insecurities,
but also it's a convenience thing. I think younger me
got it done out of more convenience, sorry, more insecurities.
But older me, especially someone that has to get ready
early early in the morning for my job and being
ready ort least, I'm glad I had that as an excuse.
It's like for me, having my brows micro bladed and
(30:31):
done is great. Although, as y'all know some of you
if you've been around a long time, I had the
horrible tragic microblading experience where I had they were so bad,
so bad, so bad that I had to get them
lasered off. And then finally I met Meghan. Well, actually
I went to Megan to see if she could fix them,
and she said I can, but not until you laser
(30:51):
them off and then we will start from fresh, which
is great, because what does this make possible? Going to
Megan her telling me you need to get them lasered
off and reckon that I go to carry the Nashville
Beauty Girl, which then led to like a whole skincare
routine that I'm very thankful for. And so now my
skin is more clear, thank you, Carrie, and my browser better,
(31:12):
Thank you Meegan. But when I'm there with her, I'm
almost micromanaging. I am so particular and she's like, I
get it, but she's like, I'm a professional. I know
what I'm doing and I'm really good, and I love
her confidence. But she's like, I let you do it
because I know that you have trauma.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, she said that to me because I she showed
me when she was done, and I was like, I
don't need to have really look I just what am
I going to be able to see that you can't see?
And she said, you and Amy are so different. But
then she was like but I understand the way she is.
It's because she had somebody really mess up. And if
I had that experience, I think I don't know if
I would be able to trust anybody.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yeah my face. Yeah, I was like, Golley, It's not
like this is some microblading tattoo situation, you know on
my rib cage. I don't know. It was like this
is my piece, these are my eyes. I don't even
know how. You know, sometimes people have bad days. I
have grace for that.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Did somebody recommend that person that you went to? That? Okay? People,
I will say when I was looking for recommendations, that
person was somebody that was recommended to me. And I
didn't know your story yet, So thank god that I
chose Megan. Although we don't know if that would have
happened to me, but I assume could have been similar.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
I don't know, because I think other people had good experiences.
Like honestly, I think I caught her on a bad day. Gosh,
And I've never said who it is. Don't ask me.
I'm not going to. I'm not because she was sure.
She's a lovely, amazing person and it's not my goal here,
It's just it was just.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Did you I face, well, did you ever email her
or talk to her about like.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Hey, yeah, she thought they looked good. But I was like,
are you is this just what you say? Because like
you're like.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Oh shoot, well, She's like I can't fix it.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Keep with the narrative that they are fine and they
are normal, And I'm like, is this really what I
asked for? Like nowhere it wasn't even in the realm
of my brow shape, Like my my hair couldn't even
grow over where it was because it was so far
out of the you know, like there's a certain area
where this is the brow, where the brow should go.
(33:10):
But it was just yeah, mine is on my actual eyebrow, right,
And so now I have because of the laser, I
have redness that I cannot get to go away, and
so I have especially in the sun, it shows up.
I have this pinkish, reddish tint that is it's like
part of my brows now and I guess over time
is going to go away. I don't know. I try
(33:31):
to put all sorts of creams and this and that on.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
You know what, though, going back to that thing that
you were saying about how men don't see aging, and
stuff like that. I don't think most people see what
you're talking about. You see it, but I never would
have noticed it.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
It's like the color of your pink jacket.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
No it is not. That's hot pink.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
That's the cool dinim jacket you got at Zara. Yeah, yeah,
I love Zarah's got so many cute things.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Oh, Megan is at Beauty by Megan. I just always
like to throw that out there because she all so
does the areola tattooing if you've had breast reconstruction surgery,
like if you've had breast cancer and you lose your
nipples and they are three D and they look so real.
She's wildly talented. But I've had listeners that have gone
to her for that and it's been a game changer
(34:17):
and like an emotional thing I could imagine, and I've
heard from people. But then also I know some of
you want to go to someone your trust for your brows,
and so Megan, that can be your girl. Which Carrie,
since we just talked about her a second ago, she
and me putting all kinds of things on my face.
I've been using that snail serum secretion and the spot
(34:38):
on my nose right here. That's always read that I
keep thinking of skin cancer, but the dermatologist tells me
that it's not one day. If I lose my nose
to skin cancer, I'm going to be like, quote me,
pull this clip and be like, I told you something
was wrong with my nose. But nobody seems to think
anything's wrong with my nose. But the flaking and the redness,
(34:59):
it's getting better. And I think it's because of the snails.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
How often do do the snails?
Speaker 1 (35:04):
There's a forty and a fifty. I'd never tried the
fifty yet of this serum. That's the number. But I
did two ten day rounds of the forty and then
they sent me some samples of the fifty. And I've
been doing that and I'm like, oh shoot, I think
I have a new obsession for the forties.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Though.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
I have a code which I got an email from
someone that was at the live because in the VIP pouches,
the little four things of her pouches that we gave people,
there was cupons and stuff inside one for like a
chopped salad from Taylor Farms. And I got a DM saying,
oh my gosh, I just got my chopped salad from
the grocery store and it's so good. I can't wait
to try more. And I'm like, oh, yay, that was
(35:43):
from Small Fry.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Did you have you met her? Uh?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Okay, that's her Instagram. But she's amazing. She's a b
Teamer shout out, which is our our hardcore Bobby Bone
Show listeners. But I was glad she liked the Tailor
Farms chop salad. But then I got this email. I
just pulled it up from Vanessa. She said, Hey, Amy,
when you had first talked about the snail stuff on Instagram,
I was not sure about it. I tried it since
(36:08):
it was included in the zipper pouches that the live
and after only two applications of it, I love it.
I ordered the ten pack already. I can't wait to
use it for a full ten days. Thank you, Vanessa.
So shout out Vanessa. Which the coupon was in there.
But that code is still good. It's not I don't know,
it's a cupon. I don't know how long the code,
that particular code is going to be good. But I
told them anytime I share about it on Instagram or whatever,
(36:30):
I want to have a discount, like I don't want
to just what's the cow. I was just sharing about
it organically because I liked it, and I met with
the company and they were amazing, and that all happened organically,
and they're a small company, and it's Amy twenty, Okay,
saves you twenty percent. So she had the little thing
and so she ordered the ten pack, but you could
order it now and I think it still works. I said,
(36:52):
next time I do a code, I want it a
little more fun though, like what like happy snail or
happy face or snail face.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
I was going to say something with your name and snail.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
I don't have to have my name. I'm not trying
to be an im like. I feel like that's very
aw or I have to.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
I mean, we do past twenty.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
We do codes here on the podcast, to be honest.
But I guess what I'm saying is because you're listening
to this podcast, so it makes sense if the code
is Amy ten or Amy twenty or four things whatever,
and you should absolutely use that. First of all, it
shows support for the show. But then you'll get the
discount or the deal or whatever it is. But on
this was an Instagram thing. It was like, oh cool.
(37:29):
When I met with them, I was like, whoa, I've
been posting about it just because I was a fan.
But yeah, if you want to give us a code
and we can work together, that would be great because
I don't do codes on Instagram. Really, that's I think
that might be the first time I've ever done a code.
That's why I didn't know really what I was doing.
And I was like, sure, Amy twenty sounds fine, And
then once I saw it, I was like, oh, no,
I'm not. I don't want to I want it to
(37:49):
be snail face twenty yeah, or yeah, just maybe some
people have ideas. If you have an idea, send me
an email four things with Amy Brown at gmail dot
com and ooh, whoever sends me the best code, then
I'll send them like a ten pack of the forty
or something. Okay, no snails were harmed in the process.
(38:11):
I do know. I was gonna ask, that's my first question.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
It makes me think that like a snail, Like, think
about a snail just like crawling all over your face.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
No, but although that might be good for you, Okay,
if they're but there, they gather the whatever they secrete
out the secretion just to be good for your skin.
All this to say, my nose spot is looking better
for some reason. I don't know if it's coincidence or snails,
but I will apply snail stuff all day long. Also,
(38:39):
let's see this. Say you're on a date with the
guy and he's got a really good skincare regimen. Are
we going to judge that if he's like, oh, you know,
he shows up with like his five steps you O
skincare routine and then his snail secretion serum?
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Why would he show up on the date with his Let's.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Say you're dating like and he says to each other
and he says that and then or maybe y'all you
take a trip together and he's got his whole skincare routine.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Are you okay with it or not? I personally would
think that's cool. I think a lot of people would
be like huh. But I would be like, oh, what
are you using? Can I maybe try some of that?
Speaker 1 (39:11):
How amazing would it be if you could just share stuff?
Speaker 2 (39:13):
I forgot my serum? Can I borrow yours?
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Do you have any vitamin c oh I didn't even
say the name of the I guess that would be helpful.
If people want to try the it's Biopel. I think
you can just go to biopel dot com, b iop
e l ll e dot com and that's where you
can enter. It's only the forty though growth factor forty
tends to I don't even know how to say at all. Anyway,
(39:37):
not the fifty, but maybe I could try to get
one for the fifty because I'm loving it so much. Tbd, tbd, Okay, Kat,
where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (39:44):
On Instagram? At Kat dot defata and at You Need
Therapy podcast.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
And I am at Radio Amy and Kat and I
both hope that you have the day you need to have.
Bye bye,
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and I've got a serious quote, and then
Kat has a funnier quote. So mine is from Peaceful
Underscore Barb on Instagram, which I screenshot this and sent
it to my sister the other day. And Peaceful Underscore
Barb just showed up for me as a suggested follow
(00:24):
I don't follow her, but I thought, oh, I was
gonna be sending my sister something cool like, oh, look
at this person, and she goes, oh, I follow Peaceful Barb.
This is great and so and I see under the lie,
I mean, she has like so many likes the Nashville
Beauty Girl, like you know how when someone else is following,
you can see who of your people have liked it.
So anyway, she posted, I don't know who needs to
(00:46):
hear this, but you don't always have to tell your
side of the story time will I thought that was good,
Now lighten it up.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Well I like that, but I am going to switch
it up, which is different because usually you do the
funny quote and I do that serious quote. So mine
comes from thirty something Props. My friends just sent this
to me and it says I used to be an athlete.
Now my watch congratulates me for standing up, which is
like all of our stories of being like I'm not
(01:15):
a college athlete but high school athlete, and now it's like, congratulations,
you stood up and breathed today.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
My outweigh episode for just the other day on Saturday,
when it was leased, was about well, actually not working out,
because I went through a time in early parts of
my recovery I was like, oh, I'm just not gonna
work out that much because I used to working out
too much was part of my some stuff I needed
(01:42):
to work through, and so I sort of was rebelling
in a way, especially from yoga because I used to
go twice a day and then it's like, okay, well
now I'm not and I honestly I haven't done yoga
in so long. I did go to a self care
workshop a month and a half ago maybe, and that
was amazing and they did a whole yoga thing and
(02:04):
I was like, oh, I should do this more, which
that is part of what I talked about in that
type of movement, but if you're doing it for the
mind body connection. I used to go to yoga, like
hot yoga for ninety minutes twice a day to sweat
it out and torture myself. So that's what I needed
to pull back. But if I want to do mindful
body connection type yoga, that's a very different type of movement.
(02:25):
But anyway, I decided to share a bunch of different
examples of how to release endorphins without exercise because maybe
you're in a season of like you need a press
pause on that for a little bit, but you still
want to get some of the benefits that come with
working out, which could be endorphins getting released, because I
(02:45):
honestly I don't know if just standing up releases endorphins,
but like acupuncture or massage, and then serotonin is also
released during certain things, And so I went over a
whole thing. I mean, you don't even have to have
any eating disorder issues or whatever to benefit from that episode.
I think it's just sometimes we put so much pressure
(03:05):
on ourselves to make sure that we're moving, our bodies
are doing this, which yes, there are benefits of that
one hundred percent, but sometimes if we have an unhealthy
relationship with it, we might need to well, yeah back.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
And that helps like just create flexibility in your mind
of thinking that endorphins come from running and this and that.
But endorphins can come from a lot of things, and
people might not realize that because we're just fed the
like go for a run, go for a walk, take
this class, and you'll feel better versus wait, that thing
can happen in your brain when you do this too.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
That is why I ran a marathon when I was
in college. I acted like it was I don't even know,
but it was so that I was forced in a way,
and I had a training schedule and I to run
when it's because high running yeah, yeah, And I think
sometimes honestly, I would say got the runners high and
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
You're like, I actually don't know what the runner's high is.
Can somebody tell me?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
And now you probably can pay me to run. And
mainly because I hurt my knee, yeah, because of the
marathon and foot and so it makes running difficult. But
it's just like, oh, that's not my thing. And so
it's also switching your mindset. Sometimes you have to take
a break from something fully to then reset and say, Okay, now,
what what do I really want to do to move
(04:15):
my body? If I'm able? And I did a walking
meditation the other day because you know, I'm doing a
twenty one day meditation challenge. Oh you are, yeah, And
one of them the other day was a ten minute
walking meditation where she walked you through when you were walking.
But she said, if for some reason you're not able
to walk for you know, in your you have to
(04:35):
stay you know, seated or laying or whatever because of
depending on your circumstances. She was like, I want you
to dis close your eyes and imagine yourself walking and
that that can be pretty powerful too, as she took
us through this guided walking meditation, which meditation was another
one of the things. Yeah, that can release some doorphins.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah. Well, and you know what's funny is you mentioning
the marathon. I had a friend that ran a marathon
the other week, maybe two weeks ago, and she texted
me after immediately and she said, I'm never doing that again.
And that's what I said after I ran my first marathon,
I said, I'm never doing that again. And she's somebody
who likes running, and I'm somebody who really likes running,
but we don't have to take it to the extreme
to enjoy it. Like I don't know if there's no athlete.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Yeah, but I'll be like, hey, would you and Patrick
do today? And you're like, we ran the Capitol Steps.
I'm like, oh, sounds awful, but.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
That's not a marathon. That's what I'm saying. I like
doing that, but I don't want to do that for
four hours. That's what a marathon is for four hours.
And so when you're talking about doing the yoga, it's like, yeah,
you might like yoga, but we don't have to take
it to the extreme. We're allowed to enjoy it in
small doses and it be just as meaningful and good
for us.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
A laughter is another thing that releases endorphins, which is
so speaking of running, do you.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Laugh when you're running?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Laughter? What's Forrest Gump's password?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Is this a joke?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yeah? Oh, it's one that I know I just scumps past.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah, I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
One forest one, one forest one, which I shall laughter.
Were releasing endorphins, we have to work out. Take that
apple watch or whatever was it the joke about apple
Watch or a fitbit or whatever. Okay, so I have
a list of things that are socially acceptable for men
(06:19):
but not women gender double standards. They're obviously something that
show up everywhere, and when I saw this, I thought, huh,
this might be interesting to go over with Kat, especially
being that your licensed therapist. What are your letters?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
LPC whenever's for Licensed Professional counselor and then Mental Health
Service provider so MHSP. So that lets me diagnose people. Oh,
you have to have that in Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Okay, well I got this article. I think maybe BuzzFeed
had something. There was a few other articles that pulled
something that was posted on Reddit where they pulled people
and thousands of people replied to share Some of the
double stand like being dedicated to your work and as
a result missing time with your kids. For men, that's
(07:09):
like an obvious thing, but if a woman does that,
she gets questioned.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
She doesn't care about her kids.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Yeah, it seems like we've come so far from that,
But in some ways I know that my brain still
has some of these. It's not because I believe it,
but it's just somewhere in my childhood or growing up,
I heard certain things enough to where now I'm like, oh,
I don't know that I should be doing that. Then
I'm like, wait a second, is that really how I feel?
(07:36):
Or somewhere deep buried down in my brain that thought
is coming up.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I did an interview with this woman. She's so brilliant.
Her name is Tory Dunlap and she's has a podcast
called Financial Feminist and does a lot of work helping
women and taking control of their finances. She's very knowledgeable
in something that is predominantly run by men, you know,
the finance world. And I asked her if, like, what's
some of the stuff that she's faced and how she
(08:03):
felt like she's been judged or misjudged by people because
of that, and she said, honestly, it doesn't come from
men as much. It comes from women having those preconceived
judgments that are built into us, right, Like you were saying, like,
I mean I have these thoughts, and it's not because
I really want to think That's why. It's just been
ingrained in my brain to think that way. And she said,
(08:24):
so it's been more seeing that women, because I want
to be supported by women and I'm supporting women are
having these judgments on me versus the men. The men
like I can expect that, but it's the women. And
I was like, wait a second, I do that, Like
these are probably going to these things that you're reading
off are probably gonna make me so mad. But if
I'm honest, I've probably had those thoughts of like, oh, gosh,
(08:45):
I can't believe she's missing her kids soccer tournament to
go do this thing for work.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Oh, and you don't have kids yet. But like as
me as a mom, I might have that thought about myself, Yeah,
a judgment towards someone else. I might start judging myself,
yeah when I shouldn't be, yeah, doing anything wrong. And
I know I'm still a good mom. You can't be
great at all the things like something is going to do.
If you're excelling in one area, you're missing out in
(09:10):
another area. That Shonda Ryan's commencement speech. She says that
so beautifully. You can just google those words on YouTube
and it'll come up, and it is such a good speech.
I've watched it multiple times, just different like if either
I'm looking for something and it kind of pops up,
or somehow I come across it again and I get
(09:31):
sucked in because what she's saying is so wise, it's
so true, and it's empowering, and it's that permission that
maybe you need to you know, it's okay to pursue
a career and be successful, and it's okay to be
over here and be an amazing mom. So I highly
recommend you watch that. Okay, letting your hair grow naturally
(09:53):
gray before you're very old, which for men that's one
thing where they get to just do it, but with women,
it's like, what.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
You're why wouldn't you carry your grays up? Right?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Well, Allie fallon our friends, she's letting her hair go
naturally gray, and she's in the process of growing it
out right now, and she was coloring it so I
would say, from like her ears down, it's brown and
then from her ears up it's gray. And she was
over at my house the other day and she was
talking about these videos that she's got a film, and
(10:24):
she doesn't like that it's two colors right now. She's like,
I think I'm gonna probably do my hair in a
ponytail so that you just see the gray. And she's
all about it. She's dedicated and she's committed and she's like, hey, yeah,
I don't want to color my hair anymore. And I'm like,
I think that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
And also, how much money are you saving?
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
So nice?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I mean I have a few grays that are showing
right now, and I'm freaking out. But I'm like, why
am I freaking out?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
It's part of it.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I'm forty two years old and it's part of life.
I'm personally still going to color my hair because I
want to, but I shouldn't freak out over a few
grays being in there.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yeah. Well, I will say I feel like that one
is kind of on both sides because I think if
a guy was like, oh, I have to go get
my hair colored, women are like huh, guys, aren't take
that true.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Some people that I know they just for men their beards,
and I'm like, what's that. Beards are the firsts I
believe they go gray before the hair, and so in
order for it to match, they'll put a little just
for men die on their beards. Like I don't know
why Ray from the Bobby Bonchow did this once, but
it's so obvious to me, and I just remember being like, no,
(11:29):
we do not need to do that. But then I
need to be quiet because I color my hair, so
I should just stop.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yes, And I will also say when men go gray,
it's like ooh, salt and pepper, like attractive and when
women go gray, it's a different You don't have that
same So do.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
You think of somewhere deep down that's some weird thing
about how retracted to people that are older and wiser
and care for us and protect us the issues. I
don't know. Having body hair, I guess guys can have it.
Women can't these days. But no, I like smith skin.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
But I switched too.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
If I went out on a date with a guy
before I got married, it was probably one of the
last people that I ever dated before my wedding. So
I was probably twenty three twenty four years old, and
I met this guy at the gym and he asked
me out in the parking lot and was like, okay,
I'd seen him around the gym a lot. So we
went out a few times, and maybe it was the
(12:26):
third date. I never had noticed his legs before. And
we went to the lake to canoe or kayak or something,
and he was wearing shorts and I was right next
to his legs and I saw they were shaved, and
I was like, oh, and I could I could no
longer date him. I wouldn't be that way now, but
me then I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Did you say so weird. Did you say like, oh,
I see your legs are I.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Was like, oh, he must be a cyclist, but he's not.
He wasn't.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
He just liked it.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yeah, And I just thought that was odd. But see, yeah,
it's a double standard.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah. And I think also to an extent like yeah,
man can have body here, but you also hear women
being like, oh he had so much back here, Like
we still do that.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Another one would be not wanting to have children. If
you're a woman who has decided that you don't want children,
people call you lonely or selfish. They'll assume that you're
wasting your life away because apparently all women are here
for procreating.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, that one's pretty strong, Like the you'll never know
a love like a mother's love kind of thing. I'm like,
you're missing now, like this is your calling and it's
not everybody's calling.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Eating that next slice of pizza or other food shaming things.
The number of times that people have been maybe with
a group of people and they're in their head trying
to debate whether or not they should have the slice
because they fear someone's going to make a comment about it.
And by people I mean women. Yeah, that's huge, huge,
being the primary or soul breadwinner. Someone shared that they
(13:53):
were making more money than their ex and childcare was
super expensive, so they decided that the ex could stay home.
The man stayed home and the wife worked, and people
were completely blown away by their decision to do that.
I feel like we've turned that corner.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
We haven't because I think this was highlighted I think
a lot in COVID because men are programmed by us
to be the providers and women are the caretakers, and
so we've done work on it, but still people get,
I think, really scared of that switch because well, if
men are staying home, now, how are you able to
(14:30):
provide and take care of and is she able to
do that? I think people still look at women of like,
can you can you really run a business? Can you
really keep that job? Can you really hold your emotions
together to make those decisions? I think people still see that.
So that guy was probably, or he had to be,
to some extent, pretty stable and secure, but then se
(14:51):
sounds like the people around them were like, you're really
gonna do that because that's their innate bias of like
I would never let my wife do that because she
can't da da and then because they're stripped of what
they can offer.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah, okay, I guess we haven't round it. Why was
I thinking we had rounded that corner.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
But it's happening more. It's happening more and which I
think is awesome. But when we really turn the corner,
it will be when nobody thinks about it, like, oh,
you stay home and take care of the kids, or
you just want to stay home because your wife can
provide a family for both of you and you don't
even have kids. When you don't think about that, that's
when we'll turn the corner. But we still are like, huh,
(15:28):
that's weird. I wonder how he feels about that. That's
usually the thought that pops up in my head.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I guess the double standard could be two with that
is if the man is working in a woman, whether
there's kids in the picture or not. I mean, obviously
if she's raising children or whatever. But let's say she
doesn't work, she's stay at home, whatever, it's like gold Okay, well,
maybe there could be that she's a gold digger or
she's stay at home. But if a guy were to
just stay and the woman was working, and he'd have anything.
(15:56):
Your friends would be like, he's a loser.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Yeah, he's just mooching off of you, But you wouldn't
think because I guess you're right. Sometimes it is a
gold digger, but sometimes it's like normal, yeah, to just
stay home just to be available. But yeah, he's a
mature he's living off of you. He's okay.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
What about not wanting to get married or choosing to
be single? In general, women can't just I guess do that.
They always get questioned why are you get married? Why
what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Or yeah, why are you single? Why aren't you married?
You're so great? Why aren't you married? Because I don't
want to? Or because I don't know. If you're listening
and you like to ask that question, I just want
to encourage you to stop.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Was it Diane Keaton? I recently saw an article where
she was and she said this is multiple times, but
it popped back up in an interview where people like,
why did you never get married? Or why aren't you dating?
And she's like, nobody asked, Like, nobody's asked me, so,
I mean, which, I don't know why. Maybe I didn't
read the full article.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
I don't think it was bad but yeah, sad.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
In any way, but she's just like, stop making it
about that, Like I'm not going because nobody's but I'm
also content and happy.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
With It's like you can't be. I did an episode
on You Need Therapy called single people are not second
class citizens because one people are just getting married later.
But people cannot fathom the idea that somebody can live
a content, wonderful life and not be in a relationship
or married. And it's very possible everybody. I did it
for a long time.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
I'm single now, so but I guess I don't see
myself as single. It's weird for me to say that
out loud right now, but I guess I am yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
But has it really hit you?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I guess I don't see myself as single. It's weird
for me to say that out loud right now, but
I guess I am yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
But has it really hit you?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I think it's certain points it hits me, but it's
so full, like, Okay, well, I've got the kids, like
I'm a mom.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Well, would it feel like if somebody went up to
you and was like, why aren't you dating? Why aren't
you getting out there? Why don't you why don't you, And.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I'd be like, well, slow your horses. I mean, it's
not quick, and that it was a two year process,
so it's not like this has just happened yesterday. But
it still feels weird because the official ending of the
marriage was recent, even though we knew a long time
ago that it was and we were just working through
(18:22):
the process. But it's like until you signed that dotted line,
that's the more fresh part. So I guess that made
it official. But it's interesting putting myself in that category.
I don't mind it. I don't have any shame around it,
but it just feels different, and it should because for
like almost two decades I was with somebody almost I'm
(18:44):
saying that now because I'm like, I got to do
the math. I got married in two thousand and six,
so seventeen years I was married. Seventeen years? Yeah, would
that be this year? Seventeen years?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
And so we in the Doors was final this year,
so we've officially made it sixteen.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Although some of that we weren't really together, but we were,
but you still were in a relationship, so it's still
that's a long time.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Okay, it's official. I can just say, yes, I'm single. Okay,
when I go fill out paperwork, I have to check
that box.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
What's that like?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
I don't know, I haven't held anything out.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Yes, have you ever forgotten to check the box?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
No, I mean I haven't had to. It's like that's
the thing I'm just not It's just new, so I'm
sure I'll get used to it. Dad bods. Someone said,
it gets me so worked up that people celebrate the
whole idea of a dad bod. Meanwhile, women, the ones
who actually go through the body trauma of pregnancy and
child bearing, are shame for having a mom bod.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Just a body, a body. Yes, I was.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Listening to this book and I don't even know the title.
You know, on audible you can listen to samples, So anyway,
I was checking one out and I feel like she
was saying that men don't notice the changes in our
bodies like we do women's bodies women, and that sometimes
we get all worked up if our body has changed
(19:59):
as we a, as we have children, and our body
is changing, we think they are noticing all these things
that they're really not or they don't. I mean, if
they really love you for who you are, like they're
not as bothered by it as you may think they are.
Is that track.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
I think that that's not always true. But most of
the time, if you're talking about your partner, yeah, they're
not noticing if they really love you for you. They're
seeing you through the eyes that they love you. They're
not seeing you through these critical eyes. But there are
some people that are pretty critical out there, and I
think that's what perpetuates it.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Not knowing how to properly care for your child. When
a dad doesn't know how to change a diaper, people
think it's funny and totally understandable, But if a mom
didn't know how to change a diaper, people would lose
their minds, lose their minds, and I don't have the
first clue how to take care of a child.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
My sister in law just had two twins. They're literally
a week tiny. They're little babies. They're a week old,
and I was feeding one of them and I had
to burp him, and I was so freaked out because
I was like, mom, I'm not doing it right. And
then my little niece was like, I don't think he
can breathe the way you're holding him. So I was
like oh no, mo. Like I was freaking out. And
then my brother just like took the baby and was like,
(21:09):
I was like, it looks like you're suffcating it, but
I guess it's how you do it, and burped them.
It was fine, but I was such a mess, and
I was like, when I have a baby, you will
be living with me. But I feel like, as a woman,
I should just innately know how to burp a child. Well,
nobody's taught me that, and it's scary. They're so little.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
It's kind of interesting that you have a baby and
you leave the hospital and it's like, now I'm in
charge of this and I never I never went through that.
But I got adopted kids and suddenly I had a
seven year old and a ten year old and we
were like, we're supposed to care for and they came
here speaking no English. Yeah, and I'm like, now they're
in my home and I can barely understand what they're saying.
And they were having full blown conversations with each other
in Haitian creole, and I one hundred percent fact there
(21:48):
were times they were talking crap about us, for sure,
like no doubt, I've tried to ask them, but they
don't really remember. Oh yeah, that was you know, that
was a big change in their life. There was a
lot happening, and I try to say, hey, you know,
sometimes y'all be in the backseat of the car and
y'all be talk talk talk, talk talking, and Dad and
I were convinced that y'all were talking bad about us.
(22:09):
Do you remember what were you saying? And she's like, probably,
but I don't remember what we were saying. At least
that's what my daughter will say, is that maybe one
day she'll remember. But yeah, that's a fact. I know
they were because we were like, who are these people?
What are we doing? They don't even understand us. They
don't even know what we need. I just said I
needed a cracker, and she gave me like a toothbrush,
(22:31):
you know, like I don't know why he's cracker. As
an example, things that pop into my mind, but the
diaper changing thing, it makes me think of Eddie from
the Bobby Bone Show. He's got four kids, to biological
to adopted, and I think his first kid he did
not change a diaper, maybe once or something, but it's
(22:51):
something that he talks about. And he's very different type
of dad. Now, but he used to be like, yeah, no,
I didn't do that. My my, how do I know
we've already heard about farmer? But it's hard to say Ben, Yeah,
I just been Ben because that I don't like saying anyway.
But if you want to say, I'm saying if you're
(23:12):
in my position and you say, ex, that's fine.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
It's just LA.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
This is weird for me, Houston. I'm just like making noises.
You don't have to cut any of this out. That's
our signal to Houston to if we've messed up is
and he knows to kind of clean it up a
little bit. Uh, but you can keep this in. I'm
just being awkward. So his dad, I'm pretty sure because
he was in the Air Force and was at Vietnam
(23:37):
and wasn't home too much. But when he was, he
didn't change diapers. I think there is a story they
tell even when he was watching. I don't know if
it's been or one of his sisters. His mom wasn't
home and the baby had a dirty diaper, and he
went to the neighbor's house. I was like, can you
do this?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
So I could figure that out.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
But this was, you know, seventies, you know again he
was deployed a lot. It's I think he just freaked
out and was like, oh, I don't know what to do.
Not that he was too good for it, but he
just didn't want to do it wrong. And it's like
nobody walked him through it. So but to adopt, I
had to take when which we ended up adopting older children.
But we were going to adopt a newborn domestic baby,
(24:20):
so we had to go through a lot of adoption
training for that. And at our courses are classes that
we had to take. They had little fake babies in
there and we had to change their diaper.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I'm going to need that course, whether or not I'm
adopting or not, I'm going to need that course. I
can change a diaper, though, it's the other stuff.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Get a doll, this is literally what we did. You
don't need the course.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Like all we had those dolls in middle school? Did
you have those? We'd like take home these dolls and
they would cry and you would an egg. Yeah, we
had actual doll and I do remember my brother put
his in his dresser drawer and shut it. He did
not soothe the baby. It cried all weekend. Yeah, I
went down to my parents' room and I said, well,
I can't make it stop crying, and she said, babies cry.
(25:02):
That was her help.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Did they still do that?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I don't know. I'm sure if they do, it's more
high tech than that because we had like feed them,
we had to change them. It wasn't just like an egg.
We didn't have to break in middle school? Why right
do we know? Was eleven?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I just went through my daughter in middle school. She
did not have to do it, so I guess, or
maybe it's just the public the type of school, because
she wasn't in public school. I'm not listen. I don't know,
but I guess your brother had to take home the dolls,
so that's it. It wasn't just the females had to know.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Everybody had to do it the dolls.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Which is awesome. But I guess was that in homac
or health it was called teen living. See mine was
homack and we had to take an egg, but it
was just about caring for the egg and not breaking
it and dropping it. And you learned all kinds of
other things in homeac. But I'm like, we should have
been learning to, like how to I don't know.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Do your taxes.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yes, yeah, I would have loved that save money.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Yeah, how do you make a Bundy get tire? That
would have been really nice. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
I still don't know how I call Moody's shout out
because they gave out the set of tires at both
of the live shows in Nashville, like they have legit
rescued me multiple times.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I would love to learn how to like check your
oil like all that kind of stuff. That would have been
really nice.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Oh, I have no idea how to.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Reset the breakers in your house. I blew a fuse
this weekend. So how call you?
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Did you learn?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Well? I figured it out, but I did call my dad.
He didn't answer, So I was like, I guess I'm
on my own. Mine's easy. Everything's labeled and you just
have to flip the breaker switch.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Okay, that's what I knew. How I know how to
do that?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yeah, But I have one point.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
I'm not shaming not. I just thought you had it
was like a different I thought it was something like
a step further than the flipping it where it says.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
No, it was just flipping there.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Okay, but this is a new home for you.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
But that's actually something there's a double standard that like women,
it's okay for them not to know how to do
that stuff, but if the man doesn't know how to
hang a picture frame or do this to do that,
then that's looked at us like I can't believe you
don't know how to do that. Yeah, so they might
not have to know how to change a diaper, but
if they're like, oh, I don't know how to work
a power drill, You're like, oh God.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
So is that something I need to work through? Because
my personal preference if I when I start dating, would
I would prefer he know how to do things. But
is that like a dad that's your dang because yeah,
I'll say them their dad. I say daddy because daddy issues.
But I never called my dad daddad. But I know
some people say, like my cousins, they would call they're
(27:27):
from Alabama, they say Mama, daddy.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
You know, do you know Patrick calls his dad daddy.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
I mean, so people listening right now they called it.
They know daddy doesn't make anything of it. Back to
I mean, I was talking about Eddie a minute ago.
His kids say dad, daddy, I think, And whenever he says,
he says daddy because they're saying daddy to him. I'm like,
stop saying daddy. I don't like hearing him say daddy.
But that's my stuff I need to work through. It's
not that big a deal. But anyway, is it a
(27:55):
dad thing because my dad was so handy and could
fix everything.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Yeah, because that's what you think of. I mean, that's
the same thing with my dad. He knows how to
do everything. How I've seen it is I'm like, well,
I don't need you do that because my dad will
do it, which I think can actually impact relationships because
I'll still rely on my dad versus my partner. But
when we think of somebody, if we have a really
good relationship with our dad, and sometimes if we don't,
when we think of a man, that's what we views.
(28:21):
That was my example. So if you don't know how
to change a light bulb, then you're not a man.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
My dad also left when I was nine, so you
have had a lot of stuff. I mean, he was
still around, but he definitely moved out and moved on,
but still was your example of the man in your life.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
That's what he did.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Another example that I just thought of because I'm looking
at your brows and they look really good, and I
know I just had my brows done too, which we
go to the same person shout out Megan. But I
started to think, I know that Megan has done microblading
brows on guys, and I would I think I get
my brows microblated, and it's no problem because I want
(28:59):
to feel more confident and get ready faster and not
spend time on my brows and just have that part
filled out, especially because yes, I was a nineties early
two thousand person that plucked all my brows away. And
it also is you age, it's harder to get them
to grow AnyWho, I am thinking, would I be okay
if a guy got his brows micro bladed, or would
(29:20):
I do you would have a thought I'd be like shaved,
shave your legs guy, where I was instantly like.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Oh okay, or the beard tint or whatever it's called,
Oh yeah, just for men. Yeah, it's the same thing, right,
So if a.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Guy wants to get his brows micro bladed by Megan,
he should be able to.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I think sometimes it can be not that big of
ad to have that thought of like, oh, like that's interesting,
but to have the thought that's like there must be
something wrong with them because they get their brows microbladed,
or because they don't add to change a light bulb,
or because they stay at home versus they provide for
the family. That's the issue, is we think that there's
something off with them versus Oh, and then they just
(29:56):
have a different they do it differently than that person. Yeah, yeah,
we have to work through it.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Is it that I want them to be more confident
than that? Do you? That's the thought I just had.
I don't know, do I?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Well, should you be more confident?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Then sure, I probably should be. Yes, I have several insecurities,
but also it's a convenience thing. I think younger me
got it done out of more convenience, sorry, more insecurities.
But older me, especially someone that has to get ready
early early in the morning for my job and being
ready ort least, I'm glad I had that as an excuse.
It's like for me, having my brows micro bladed and
(30:31):
done is great. Although, as y'all know some of you
if you've been around a long time, I had the
horrible tragic microblading experience where I had they were so bad,
so bad, so bad that I had to get them
lasered off. And then finally I met Meghan. Well, actually
I went to Megan to see if she could fix them,
and she said I can, but not until you laser
(30:51):
them off and then we will start from fresh, which
is great, because what does this make possible? Going to
Megan her telling me you need to get them lasered
off and reckon that I go to carry the Nashville
Beauty Girl, which then led to like a whole skincare
routine that I'm very thankful for. And so now my
skin is more clear, thank you, Carrie, and my browser better,
(31:12):
Thank you Meegan. But when I'm there with her, I'm
almost micromanaging. I am so particular and she's like, I
get it, but she's like, I'm a professional. I know
what I'm doing and I'm really good, and I love
her confidence. But she's like, I let you do it
because I know that you have trauma.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, she said that to me because I she showed
me when she was done, and I was like, I
don't need to have really look I just what am
I going to be able to see that you can't see?
And she said, you and Amy are so different. But
then she was like but I understand the way she is.
It's because she had somebody really mess up. And if
I had that experience, I think I don't know if
I would be able to trust anybody.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yeah my face. Yeah, I was like, Golley, It's not
like this is some microblading tattoo situation, you know on
my rib cage. I don't know. It was like this
is my piece, these are my eyes. I don't even
know how. You know, sometimes people have bad days. I
have grace for that.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Did somebody recommend that person that you went to? That? Okay? People,
I will say when I was looking for recommendations, that
person was somebody that was recommended to me. And I
didn't know your story yet, So thank god that I
chose Megan. Although we don't know if that would have
happened to me, but I assume could have been similar.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
I don't know, because I think other people had good experiences.
Like honestly, I think I caught her on a bad day. Gosh,
And I've never said who it is. Don't ask me.
I'm not going to. I'm not because she was sure.
She's a lovely, amazing person and it's not my goal here,
It's just it was just.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Did you I face, well, did you ever email her
or talk to her about like.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Hey, yeah, she thought they looked good. But I was like,
are you is this just what you say? Because like
you're like.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Oh shoot, well, She's like I can't fix it.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Keep with the narrative that they are fine and they
are normal, And I'm like, is this really what I
asked for? Like nowhere it wasn't even in the realm
of my brow shape, Like my my hair couldn't even
grow over where it was because it was so far
out of the you know, like there's a certain area
where this is the brow, where the brow should go.
(33:10):
But it was just yeah, mine is on my actual eyebrow, right,
And so now I have because of the laser, I
have redness that I cannot get to go away, and
so I have especially in the sun, it shows up.
I have this pinkish, reddish tint that is it's like
part of my brows now and I guess over time
is going to go away. I don't know. I try
(33:31):
to put all sorts of creams and this and that on.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
You know what, though, going back to that thing that
you were saying about how men don't see aging, and
stuff like that. I don't think most people see what
you're talking about. You see it, but I never would
have noticed it.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
It's like the color of your pink jacket.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
No it is not. That's hot pink.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
That's the cool dinim jacket you got at Zara. Yeah, yeah,
I love Zarah's got so many cute things.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Oh, Megan is at Beauty by Megan. I just always
like to throw that out there because she all so
does the areola tattooing if you've had breast reconstruction surgery,
like if you've had breast cancer and you lose your
nipples and they are three D and they look so real.
She's wildly talented. But I've had listeners that have gone
to her for that and it's been a game changer
(34:17):
and like an emotional thing I could imagine, and I've
heard from people. But then also I know some of
you want to go to someone your trust for your brows,
and so Megan, that can be your girl. Which Carrie,
since we just talked about her a second ago, she
and me putting all kinds of things on my face.
I've been using that snail serum secretion and the spot
(34:38):
on my nose right here. That's always read that I
keep thinking of skin cancer, but the dermatologist tells me
that it's not one day. If I lose my nose
to skin cancer, I'm going to be like, quote me,
pull this clip and be like, I told you something
was wrong with my nose. But nobody seems to think
anything's wrong with my nose. But the flaking and the redness,
(34:59):
it's getting better. And I think it's because of the snails.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
How often do do the snails?
Speaker 1 (35:04):
There's a forty and a fifty. I'd never tried the
fifty yet of this serum. That's the number. But I
did two ten day rounds of the forty and then
they sent me some samples of the fifty. And I've
been doing that and I'm like, oh shoot, I think
I have a new obsession for the forties.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Though.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
I have a code which I got an email from
someone that was at the live because in the VIP pouches,
the little four things of her pouches that we gave people,
there was cupons and stuff inside one for like a
chopped salad from Taylor Farms. And I got a DM saying,
oh my gosh, I just got my chopped salad from
the grocery store and it's so good. I can't wait
to try more. And I'm like, oh, yay, that was
(35:43):
from Small Fry.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Did you have you met her? Uh?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Okay, that's her Instagram. But she's amazing. She's a b
Teamer shout out, which is our our hardcore Bobby Bone
Show listeners. But I was glad she liked the Tailor
Farms chop salad. But then I got this email. I
just pulled it up from Vanessa. She said, Hey, Amy,
when you had first talked about the snail stuff on Instagram,
I was not sure about it. I tried it since
(36:08):
it was included in the zipper pouches that the live
and after only two applications of it, I love it.
I ordered the ten pack already. I can't wait to
use it for a full ten days. Thank you, Vanessa.
So shout out Vanessa. Which the coupon was in there.
But that code is still good. It's not I don't know,
it's a cupon. I don't know how long the code,
that particular code is going to be good. But I
told them anytime I share about it on Instagram or whatever,
(36:30):
I want to have a discount, like I don't want
to just what's the cow. I was just sharing about
it organically because I liked it, and I met with
the company and they were amazing, and that all happened organically,
and they're a small company, and it's Amy twenty, Okay,
saves you twenty percent. So she had the little thing
and so she ordered the ten pack, but you could
order it now and I think it still works. I said,
(36:52):
next time I do a code, I want it a
little more fun though, like what like happy snail or
happy face or snail face.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
I was going to say something with your name and snail.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
I don't have to have my name. I'm not trying
to be an im like. I feel like that's very
aw or I have to.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
I mean, we do past twenty.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
We do codes here on the podcast, to be honest.
But I guess what I'm saying is because you're listening
to this podcast, so it makes sense if the code
is Amy ten or Amy twenty or four things whatever,
and you should absolutely use that. First of all, it
shows support for the show. But then you'll get the
discount or the deal or whatever it is. But on
this was an Instagram thing. It was like, oh cool.
(37:29):
When I met with them, I was like, whoa, I've
been posting about it just because I was a fan.
But yeah, if you want to give us a code
and we can work together, that would be great because
I don't do codes on Instagram. Really, that's I think
that might be the first time I've ever done a code.
That's why I didn't know really what I was doing.
And I was like, sure, Amy twenty sounds fine, And
then once I saw it, I was like, oh, no,
I'm not. I don't want to I want it to
(37:49):
be snail face twenty yeah, or yeah, just maybe some
people have ideas. If you have an idea, send me
an email four things with Amy Brown at gmail dot
com and ooh, whoever sends me the best code, then
I'll send them like a ten pack of the forty
or something. Okay, no snails were harmed in the process.
(38:11):
I do know. I was gonna ask, that's my first question.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
It makes me think that like a snail, Like, think
about a snail just like crawling all over your face.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
No, but although that might be good for you, Okay,
if they're but there, they gather the whatever they secrete
out the secretion just to be good for your skin.
All this to say, my nose spot is looking better
for some reason. I don't know if it's coincidence or snails,
but I will apply snail stuff all day long. Also,
(38:39):
let's see this. Say you're on a date with the
guy and he's got a really good skincare regimen. Are
we going to judge that if he's like, oh, you know,
he shows up with like his five steps you O
skincare routine and then his snail secretion serum?
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Why would he show up on the date with his Let's.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Say you're dating like and he says to each other
and he says that and then or maybe y'all you
take a trip together and he's got his whole skincare routine.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Are you okay with it or not? I personally would
think that's cool. I think a lot of people would
be like huh. But I would be like, oh, what
are you using? Can I maybe try some of that?
Speaker 1 (39:11):
How amazing would it be if you could just share stuff?
Speaker 2 (39:13):
I forgot my serum? Can I borrow yours?
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Do you have any vitamin c oh I didn't even
say the name of the I guess that would be helpful.
If people want to try the it's Biopel. I think
you can just go to biopel dot com, b iop
e l ll e dot com and that's where you
can enter. It's only the forty though growth factor forty
tends to I don't even know how to say at all. Anyway,
(39:37):
not the fifty, but maybe I could try to get
one for the fifty because I'm loving it so much. Tbd, tbd, Okay, Kat,
where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (39:44):
On Instagram? At Kat dot defata and at You Need
Therapy podcast.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
And I am at Radio Amy and Kat and I
both hope that you have the day you need to have.
Bye bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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