June 15, 2023 • 34 mins
Do you ever ask yourself: “How can I serve today?” One of the simplest ways to get to your highest self (and out of ego) is to serve others. Leanne Ellington joins Amy for this chat and they each share how they have been selfish in the past (and sometimes still can be!) but they both now very much strive for and strongly align with this affirmation: “I am here to be truly helpful.” The desire to give (and not get) puts us in an awesome energetic state that leaves us feeling more full and in tune with who we truly are!
Amy shares 4 quotes about service that offer solid encouragement as you look for ways to serve others:
- “I start every day by wanting more for others than I do for myself. I think that is how God works, and that is how I think we have to work.” - Wayne Dyer
- “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” - Mahatma Gandhi
- “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.” - Muhammad Ali
- “Our prayers for others flow more easily than those for ourselves. This shows we are made to live by charity.” - C. S. Lewis
Also, everyone give Leanne a warm welcome as Amy’s new ‘Outweigh’ podcast co-host! Whoop!!! ‘Outweigh’ is our weekly dose of service…we hope you’ll check out our “Two Things Can Be True” mini series that starts this Saturday!! 4 episodes will be released over the next 4 Saturdays. Then there will be a break with some interviews and then 4 more will start in late July.
HOST:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST:
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Cass up bad little food for yourself life.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, it's pretty beautiful than beautiful. That for a little
more fasciting.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Said he can.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You're kicking with full with Amy.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Brown, Happy Thursday, four Things Amy here, And my guest
today is my friend Leanne Ellington, who has been on
the podcast before. And I say, she's a guest right now,
but again we're just gonna be having to talk. Yeah,
and we're together because we just recorded a four part
mini series, four Outweigh that's gonna be so good and
(00:52):
actually starts this Saturday. And Leanne has her own disordered
eating body image story from her past that you now
use as service to others. The theme of today's episode
with us right now, Leanna and I just chatting as
friends and you're joining in on it is how can
we be of service? And really having that mindset daily
(01:15):
and asking yourself that.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Before you show up to work.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I mean, maybe you just look at your job as
a way to pay the bills, but is there a
way you can start seeing in how you can show
up to serve others and then you'll see how that
bleeds into other areas of your life and so Leanne,
what does service mean to you career wise and on
(01:39):
a more personal level in not getting paid.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
It's interesting because if you had told me, you know,
ten fifteen years ago that I would be showing up
in the way that I'm showing up, I would have
been like, wait me, because it was a struggle that
really a form of suffering that I didn't even know
I had, that I didn't even know I would ever
find a way out of. Let alone go on and
invite other women to heal in their own journey. So,
(02:04):
in terms of your question, the big thing for me
was was kind of a wake up call because it
started when I had a moment. You know, we all
have moments in our lives that kind of bring us
to our ease, and mine was the realization that, Wow,
this monster in my head that is obsessing over food
and my body and that feels so much shame and
(02:26):
feels so much disorder.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Wow, I'm very selfish. Like that was my big thing.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I was like, I'm only thinking about me because when
you're in the height of it and not in a
I'm not trying to shame anyone.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
This is what it was for me.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
When you're in such a world of you know, that
kind of mess in your head where it's just it's
the downward spiral of shame, blame, guilt, comparisonitis, embarrassment, fear,
and then all the stories that come alongside it of
like what if people knew, if only they knew all
these things, And you don't believe in yourself, you don't
trust in yourself, but then you're trying to control, control, control,
(03:00):
case it was.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
My weight, my body.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
I had this awareness, this heightened awareness that now I
know it was God, but at the time I didn't
have that faith in my life of like, wow, this
is a very self engrossing way to live.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
It was all about me, me, me, me me.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
And then you know, obviously I got into the healing
side of it and I had another awareness down the road.
Now it's not a big deal to share what I share,
but at first it was this thing of wait a minute,
I'm going to talk about shame. I'm going to talk
about feeling like an addict. I'm going to talk about
hating myself. And what I realized and through mentors and
(03:37):
coaching of mine as well, was of no, instead of
it feeling like a burden, because it did feel like
a burden. I did turn it into kind of taking
it on as an assignment, an assignment from God is
what I would call it now, of just like no,
women need me to step in and own my story
and own my shame so that they can be liberated
from theirs, and so that they can see that it's
(03:57):
not shame and that there it doesn't have to be
a see And that's really where it really started. So
this idea of service wasn't really in my awareness until
I had the self awareness of like, wow, I am
very selfish and I'm only thinking about me, me, me,
me me, and I had a bit of an existential
crisis of like, wow, this is not who I want
to be. I'm not a selfish person. But I realized
(04:18):
like I was living and acting as if I was.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You wanted to step into the highest version of yourself
and you had awareness, so you were definitely not there,
which I think one of the best ways to shift
from ego, which is where I know I was when
I was in the throes of that, and quite honestly
still can be at times. Sure ego pops up all
the time, and that's where you were, and to shift
from ego to your highest self is to be of
service to others. And being of service enables us to
(04:44):
recognize our interconnectedness, our shared humanity, like we're all in
this together and we can be this nice little ecosystem
of giving back and helping each other absolutely and filling
each other up, which is now what you get to
do in service with your career and sharing your story
and your clients. And then are there other ways that
(05:05):
you find yourself serving outside of that?
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Yeah, you know, I'm part of a ministry called Freedom
Prayer where we help walk other people alongside their struggles
and their fears.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
And I think, you know, being of.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Service in even asking yourself in your everyday life, how
can I help and support and pour into somebody? And
I think part of it too is like giving ourselves
permission to feel like we have something to give, right,
Like a lot of people I know walk around with like, well,
who am I to help somebody?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Support somebody? Know what I know, do what I do
all the things.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
And so first it's just like taking it on you
that even just being you and having the energy that
you have and being the personality that you are, being
a listener and a support and a love and somebody
that receives people in the good, the bad, the ugly,
all of where they are is of service.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
And it doesn't have.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
To be friends or your kids or.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Like, yeah, it doesn't have to be this big, grandiose thing, right,
it can just be everyday ways of being of Like
you said, what was the prompt that you said that
you got?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
How can I be of service today? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I mean often I asked myself before work, It's okay,
how can I be of service today?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
It's that exact question.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
And then the mantra is I am here to be
truly helpful. So that might be with your friend, with
your neighbor, with your kids, with your coworker, with your client. Yeah,
so it's not yeah, how many nonprofits am I volunteering for?
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Exactly?
Speaker 4 (06:32):
That's can also become a measuring stick and a badge
of honor and a Girl Scout badge that we collect, right,
even just a shift of the question of like what
can I get to what can I give?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Just that one question?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Yes, I journaled about that this morning.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
I kid you not that I want to be a giver,
but not give to get. There was a situation that
came up where I don't, and this was internal within
my family. The giving and the getting can be within
your home right two and so I realized that I
had behaved in a certain way and I'm like, oh,
that's not how I want to show up, like I
(07:06):
need to give.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Which I do.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Have four quotes because well four things podcasts that tie
into what we're talking about, that people can sit with,
write down, you can use them.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
I don't know how people like to best use quotes.
I love quotes.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Kat and I start every Tuesday episode the fifth thing
off with a quote. And sometimes there're just there's so
many good ones out there, and it's just something that
you can sit with, maybe you can journal about, you
could use it as a prompt. And so we're going
to go for right now that you can chew one.
This is from Wayne Dyer. I start every day by
wanting more for others than I do for myself. I
(07:44):
think that is how God works, and that is how
I think we have to work.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
This one's from Gandhi.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself
in the service of others. This one is from Muhammad Ali.
Service to others is the rent you pay for your
room here on earth. And then this one is from C. S.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Lewis.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Our prayers for others flow more easily than those for ourselves.
This shows we are made to live by charity. So
those are four quotes that are just very much to
the point of we need to find out how we
can show up for others on the daily because that
is going to help fill our cup up.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
And to your point of when you.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Were in the throes of your disordered behavior, that's exactly
how I felt. I had zero space to connect with others.
I tried to operate as if I did and maybe
outwardly it seemed as though I was. But people that
were in relationship with me during that time, which was
a very long time, did not feel connected to me
(08:51):
because I didn't have the bandwidth and my brain was
consumed with other things that were very selfish. My ego
was complete. I was not in the highest version of myself.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
You are a half.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Shelled, compartimentalized version of yourself that wasn't able to be present.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
It's what happens when we get in it.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Right, and no judgment for all of us. Exactly you're
right now.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I actually have gratitude for the fact that I can
recognize that now and I could admit it and be like, Wow,
I was incredibly selfish and I did not have space
for the people in my life and I did not
show up for them the way that I should have.
And what I can do with that information now is
know that I want to be better.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, And I didn't mean it attached at you.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
I'm like, that's just the product of what happens when
we're in that space, you know. And I especially resonate
with that second quote about like finding yourself in the
service of others, and I think that was really part
of it too, is like when you do find healing
in yourself, it's about I have something a piece of
knowledge or a piece of wisdom that would really benefit others.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Like who am I to sit on it and to
not serve? You know?
Speaker 4 (09:53):
And I think the big shift if I were to
re answer your question, because you asked me a question
in the beginning of what I think about service, and like,
the big thing that I would probably say about it
is shifting it from this thing that you do into
something that you are, Like it's a being, not a
doing in like living in that space of again, what
can I give rather than what can I get, as
(10:14):
opposed to looking at it as this checklist and this
you know, shopping list of did I do that?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Did I not do that? Did I volunteer? Did I not?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I am here to be truly helpful? Yeah, that affirmation
is something that you can say over and over until
you believe it. How do you feel about someone's not
in that space? Like saying that to themselves? How do
(10:45):
you feel about someone's not in that space? Like saying
that to themselves over and over? And they're like, but
am I here to be helpful? Am I really doing
anything to be helpful? Or can I even be of help?
Or how in the world would I serve? Or who
wants it's my how what do I have to offer?
I'm thinking of the various lies that can pop in.
But at the same time, that affirmation to yourself might
(11:06):
feel like a lie, but it's still important to say
to yourself over and over. So being that you are,
you big on the brain and you have a wealth
of knowledge when it comes to how we operate, how
is that affirmation powerful in eventually getting us to a
place where we truly do feel like we are here
to help and serve.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah, Oh, I have so much to say about this topic.
I love this stuff.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
But it's about meeting yourself where you are in what
you believe right now, and being mindful of when something
is a lie. So we really want to be mindful
when we're talking about things like affirmations. There is that
line of like do I not believe it yet, but
I kind of believe it, and I want to step
into it versus like where is it an outright lie?
Because if your self image doesn't believe it to be true,
it will actually lay down something called negative neuro associations
(11:51):
and really block that fired and wired process from taking
place of creating new, you know, powerful patterns. So you
don't want to create a dissonance or disconnect in you
by by the outright libe. So, for example, if somebody
is using that affirmation of repeat it again.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
I am here to be truly helpful.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
So if somebody hears I'm here to be truly helpful
and they're like, wow, that does not resonate. I don't
feel it about myself right, even just starting with the
mantra of like I'm on my way to believing that
I'm here to be truly helpful, like literally meeting yourself
where you are, right, or I'm in the process of
becoming the version of myself that feels truly helpful. You're
(12:29):
not lying, but you're meeting yourself where you are in
your disbelief for your doubt and tweaking, because I do
believe it is positive a really important part to kind
of shift our thoughts and move towards that air quotes
positive direction. But again, you've got to meet yourself where
you are so.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Well, because this is where people get tripped up on
the whole mantras and affirmations of like Okay, yeah, you
can say this stuff to yourself all day long, but yeah,
if it's not matching, you're not going to get there.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Yeah, like the whole The most common one I hear
is like I keep telling myself I'm worthy worthy, right,
And the tweak I give is like, what if you
just shifted it to like I'm committed to finally feeling
worthy or I'm committed to learning what I need to
feel love and acceptance, Like you're declaring the process rather
(13:17):
than declaring it as so already, and then your brain
creating a dissonance and a mismatch. And when I say dissonance,
it's like that cognitive dissonance of like I hear it,
but I don't believe it. And that's where you're laying
down negative neuro associations, which actually works against you. The
learning doesn't happen, the laying down of pathways doesn't happen
(13:37):
as fluidly. You're kind of working against yourself, you know.
It's obviously a lot more complex than that, you know.
So meeting yourself where you are by just adding a
frame around it, like I'm committed to becoming or I
am learning how to X, rather than just I am that,
and I think that will help you meet yourself where
you are in your current doubt.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yes, I love that. So yeah, now you're not lying
to yourself the truth I'm committed you No.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Don't say it if you're not committed to it, you know,
and if you're not on the process of learning it, don't.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
So the big thing is, don't lie to yourself, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
But if you're learning, how okay, But walk me through this,
because I do think there are times in which to
build that new or bath the way I've heard. Okay, So,
like for a long time, a story I had is, Okay,
I'm not capable, I'm not smart enough or whatever. I'm
not as smart as certain people. And that's a story
from my teenage years that has been carried with me.
(14:33):
I've carried it with me for a very long time.
And so I would start to say to myself, I
am capable. Yeah, I am capable, I guess because that.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
It already feels true.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
That worked for me, but I did I felt like
I was still lying to myself. I'm like, so I
really capable.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
But I didn't have a problem with I'm being capable.
But I'm glad we're talking about this because I feel
like there is a thing between all these affirmations and
mauntras that we see out there and all these quotes
that I love to say on here all the time,
but then for some people, they're really not going to
nothing's going to happen. Yeah, nothing is going to happen.
But for me, I have sometimes been okay with quote
(15:08):
unquote lying to myself because I knew that my brain
was going to keep hearing that over and over and over,
and to me, that was part of the process, okay, And.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
I felt okay with that. Yeah, no, this is so
good that you're bringing this up. And just keep in mind,
I always like to come from that place of like, well,
not finding the holes in it, but like meeting the
skeptic the cynic where they are, because that's how I was,
and it needed to resonate with me. And resonance is
the big factor for creating those neuroassociations. So, in answer
to what you said, when we logically know something's true,
(15:41):
but we've practiced the opposite for so long, sometimes those
mantras are literally just new reinforcement and memorization, so to speak,
of what we already believed to be true, but we've
just practiced the opposite.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
So I am capable.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Like that wasn't a big stretch for you, because you
could build evidence of why you are capable. You had
just practiced kind of unconsciously or subconsciously telling yourself, well,
I can't do that. But when you in your logic
and reason brain, when you started like thinking about it,
talking about like deep down, you did believe that you
were capable, but you hadn't reinforced that new pathway in
your brain. There wasn't recency, there wasn't frequency, all the
(16:17):
things that we need attention, intension, and repetition.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Air to create a new pathway, right, and.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
That attention intention, repetition air.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Attention intention, repetition air, I are.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
So you didn't have all those things, but the capable
what you didn't label it as an outright lie in
your subconscious mind, right, you believe that.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
But I did feel like I was lying to myself,
and I was like, I'm just to keep lying to
myself till it's true. But I love that you're saying this,
So somewhere deep inside of me, I actually did know
it's true and it wasn't really a lie.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So and that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Some there might be things that you like don't fully
believe yet versus it's I totally disbelieve it. It's a lie.
It feels very untrue to me. You can feel that
distinction in your brain, right. And so part of it
too is where it's like you don't want to build
new beliefs that are such a stretch, such an outright lie,
but if there's something that you can already kind of
(17:07):
grasp onto and build evidence for. So if you had said, hey,
what would be a tweak on that? Like, I don't
feel capable. What I'm telling myself I am capable, like
even just saying like I am learning to remember that
I am capable, or I am committed to feeling the
feels of capable right, And it's just those little tweaks
so that it's right, it's true right now. And it's
(17:29):
not that the other can't work, because attention intention repetition,
it does work, but it's going to be a lot
more resistance, it's probably going to take longer, there might
be some backslide and all of that. But when you
actually believe it and then attention intention repetition.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
It's like that's where the miracles happen.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
So that's why I always invite people to start at
what they can meet in their current reality of belief.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Now.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
It's not that the others not possible, but it's going
to be a lot easier if you start in your
current reality of what you believe now.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
And if being helpful is something you have a desire for,
but you're wondering how you could be helpful, you're not
quite sure yet, so you're not really believing it. That's
when you can start asking yourself questions like, yeah, how
can I serve today? How can I be helpful today?
Or give me a sign that I am being helpful?
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Absolutely, And that's I was just gonna say. It doesn't
always have to be like an affirmation. It can be
a prayer, like, hey, God, use me. I want to
be helpful. I'm not feeling helpful right now. I want
to be of service. I want to be helpful. So
it doesn't always have to be this like radical declaration.
It can be a request. It can be a prayer.
It can be a hope that you're speaking out loud
(18:43):
or writing. So that's the other side of affirmations, Like
it doesn't always have to be so declarative. It can be,
you know, seeding the reality of what you desire.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I love that because I saw someone speaking the other
day speaking on YouTube. My favorite is I have my
favorite place to watch speakers. Do you ever go on
there and just watch TED talks.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
I haven't recently, but I definitely went through my Ted
talk phase. You should do a TED talk. Well, thank you,
we're seeding that into reality. God, I want to be
of service on a TED talk. I don't know how
that happens, but you need to apply.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
We should look into this.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I bet there's a YouTube video on how to become
a Ted talk speaker.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
There probably is.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
I feel like I see ads on either YouTube or
Instagram where it pops up. This one guy's like, you
want to have a Ted talk. I can teach you
how to put together the best Ted talk.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yes, I've seen him. I've seen Ted talks about Ted talks.
So we need to do that, Okay. I am here
to help you do that.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Be of service.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I want to be of service to you and help
you fill out the application or put it out. Hey,
maybe someone listening right now knows someone knows Ted.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Who is this Ted guy?
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Well, thank you for that or Ted X or whatever.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
So I appreciate you saying anyway.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I watch a lot of YouTube ready or just cooking,
doing things.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
I carry my computer around my house. I don't know
if you ever know.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Oh I see it.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah, I carry it to the laundry room and I'm like, oh,
I carry it upstairs and I just keep my YouTube going.
But it'd probably be easier if I just put the
YouTube on my phone.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Hey, no judgment the YouTube.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
How old do I sound? So she was talking about
and I can't remember what I was watching but she
was talking about how she is a big fan of
the lying to yourself and she's a therapist, and I
know she had data to go along with it, but
I like the way you're saying it. The way you're
saying it is resonating with me more, and I believed
(20:37):
what she was saying. I'm like, Okay, there's power in that.
I believe that, and we need to start believing in
ourselves first.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
But I like where you're saying. Let's be realistic, where
are we with this?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And maybe I am on the road to it, maybe
I am gonna I am. I am someone who right
now is making a daily commitment to try to help others.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
Yeah, I think it's about, you know, instead of lying
to yourself.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
And again, it can work.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
It's just going to take longer, right because you're going
to have to fight against negative neuro associations, which is
the opposite of brain change. Right.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
So it's not that it can't work.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
But I'm a big fan and I have so much
evidence of this working with my clients and myself of
like how to make over beliefs very quickly when you
meet yourself in the doubt, meet yourself in what you
think is a lie, Like, meet yourself there and create
the next level of certainty. But going from I hate
my body too I love my body is not the
next level of certainty. That is a massive leap.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
But to your point, so you're saying, if I start
saying I love my body, I love my body, I
love my body, eventually I could love my body. But
you're saying it would take a very, very very that
is maybe.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
There's so many different variables.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Obviously, it depends how deeply you believe the opposite. So
it's it's not a no, it's not a definite yes,
it's a maybe versus. If you meet yourself in your
doubt and build new beliefs, in informations, in alignment with
those in the next level of certainty, it will hands down,
move you move the needle like right away. I've never
(22:08):
experienced it not. But again, what you ask, my answer
is maybe just maybe, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
With enough air intention repetition.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
Again, it just depends how much you like don't believe
the lie.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
How deep does the wound go or the I go.
When did this start? How many years have we been
how much evidence have you built in your brain to
support the lie? But The beautiful thing about our brains
is you get to turn it all over, you get
to rewrite the story. But it does take the You
can't just let go and let God this one.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
It's a choice.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
You've got to put in the work, which leads me
to what we're talking about on Outwagh for the next
four weeks. So this Saturday will be the first episode
with Leanne for two. Things can be true at the
(23:06):
same time, and so I feel like our brains sometimes
struggle with well, shoot, if I believe this and this
is true, there's no way that can be true. But
lots of things can be true at the same time.
You can be in grief and sorrow and sadness over
something and still feel joy and happiness and love for
(23:26):
something else at the same time, depending on different circumstances
that might be happening in your life. And I feel
like sometimes we get tripped.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Up over that.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Yeah, well that's the extremism talking and it doesn't leave
room for grace. I mean even a few weeks ago
when we were meeting, I messaged you the day before
and I was like, hey, things are good, life is good,
and I'm also going through some spiritual existential crises in
my heart. Like I literally told you two things can
be true at the same time, Like we can have
multiple things, and that's where the grace comes in. It
leaves room for grace versus without it. You know, not
(23:57):
only can we not serve ourselves and give ourselves what
we need, then in turn, we're not going to be
of service to others.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I'm in a really good place right now, but I'm
also losing my mind. Yes, two things can be true
at the same time, I feel really saying, but also insane.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yes, two things can be true at the same time.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
But we're going to be talking about specifically on Outweigh
is stuff like, for example, episode one on Saturday or
part one outweih has a lot of episodes, but part
one of this mini series is you can be pro
body image and pro self worth and body positive and
still have health goals that you want to reach. We've
(24:36):
talked about this either on Four Things or Outweigh I
know with certain experts of like a trainer came on
I think it was Outweigh and she was talking about how, yeah,
she's in recovery herself. She still trains clients that are
in recovery. She mostly likes to train people that have
had eating disorders, and she's like, it's okay for you
to show up here and want to train and actually
have goals you want to meet.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
You're here for a reason.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Just because you're and recovery doesn't mean that you can't
have body specific goals.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Yeah, And even what we're talking about today about being
in service of others, like you can serve others while
serving yourself.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Like that quote that stuck out to me.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
It's like a lot of my healing, like next levels
of healing came from helping others walk through their own healing.
So it can be both. Like you can be serving others.
I mean, joy is serving yourself. When you experience joy
by contributing to others and being in the service of others,
you're also serving yourself. So two things can be true
at the same time. You can also be serving if
you have a spiritual life, serving God, you know, while
(25:32):
you're serving others and vice versa chicken egg which came first, right,
But so all of these things can coexist and multiple
things can be true at the same time.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Yeah, that Gondan quote, Yeah, that is good. The best
way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the
service of others. Well, Leanna, I mean something that's very
obvious to me, is you joining me on Outweigh for
this mini series. Two things can be true at the
same time. You're bringing your expertise, your widd You're being
of service to the listeners and to me being my
(26:04):
expert because I'm not the expert and I don't want
that responsibility.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
And I'll say something now too.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Just that's exciting is that Leanne is now a co
host of Outweigh with me, and she's going to be
taking over some stuff she did five weeks of Outweigh
solo herself. And then you've got some cool interviews coming
up after we do this four part series, and then
after the interviews, will do another four parts. When it
comes to two things being true at the same time,
(26:34):
but full transparency, we were recording some stuff for it
and I said something that probably wasn't the most helpful
for someone that might be entering recovery or trying to
set them up for the most success possible. But because
I'm someone that's just on the journey, I didn't catch it.
And you know, the more I learn, I obviously start
(26:56):
to come in tune with like, oh, that could be something.
That's not the best way to put that, because I
don't want to trip somebody up or them to have
a false hope or expectation of like, oh, if I
just do this, I'm going to be magically healed or something.
So we were talking specifically about the two things being
true were you can be on the journey to self
love and self worth and still have really crappy thoughts
(27:17):
about yourself that show up. And I had created a
scenario and we started talking about it, talk talk, talk,
talk talk, and we kind of get into it and
lands like pause, time out. I kind of don't know
that that's the example we should go with because it's
it's not going to set most people up for success,
So what if we take it this route? And that
was the beauty that was you being of service of like, hey,
(27:40):
there's a better way to do this that's going to
actually be more helpful, and you were mindful of that,
and so I was grateful to have you there. So
thank you for being of service and stopping me and
us coming up with a way to present it that
was going to be helpful.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Not harmful.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
Absolutely, well, thank you so much for saying that, and
just to kind of take take it and throw it
back at you, because I mean, what was coming up
for me too, is like how much you are in
service this entire podcast outweigh all of the work that
you're doing on your network with the other podcast, like
you are in service. And I think speaking of two
things can be true at the same time. You know,
when you are losing yourself or finding yourself in the
(28:18):
service of others, like you're also serving yourself.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
So two things can be true at the same time.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
You can be serving others and really pouring into others,
but also be receiving joy and fulfillment and recognition sometimes
and all of the things that we're human and we enjoy.
Two things can be true. Multiple things can be true
at the same time. You can be serving others while
coincidingly serving yourself. And I really believe that you are
such a beautiful example out of that because you take
(28:45):
what you most want to know about and what you're
currently working through, and the vulnerability and the transparency that
you come on here with and on your other podcast
as well, Like it's just it's a service to all
of us, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Oh well, I'm working on it accepting things, so I'm
just gonna not fighting it, so I will accept it
to say receive that I'm receiving. Thank you, and I'm
moving on. Yes to Pimp and Joy and how our
listeners that participated in the Patriotic Pimp and Joy campaign.
You were in service to Corporal Mancin who was the
(29:18):
veteran that we were launched the campaign for. In fact,
still I don't know you know, at the time that
we're recording this, I never know specifics on when you
place your order if you're going to for sure get
it in time for fourth of July, if you didn't
order at the time that we first launched it. But still,
this stuff is so cute you're going to want it
at anytime. And right now, one hundred percent of the proceeds,
(29:39):
as always with Pimp and Joy, are still going towards
helping build Corporal Macin a home through building Homes for Heroes.
And he is a veteran that sacrificed so much for
our country when he was serving in Iraq, he was
in an ied explosion, has had seventy surgery since then.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
He's got two young kids.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
And building them a new home is going to be
a game changer for them. So very thankful for building
homes for heroes and how they serve our veterans and
that because of our listeners and because of Pimp and Joy,
and because of the Shop Forward, we get to come
alongside and help serve Corporal Mangan who served us, served
our country.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
I heard that beautiful interview, and my favorite thing a
part about it was just how he received it with
such grace, Like he had no idea that that's what
you guys were going to tell him was going on,
Like he didn't know you guys were building in the house, you.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Know, No, he thought he was just telling his story.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
Yeah, And that's the other side of service, is like
it's really inversely related, is learning how to receive too.
For him that you could tell he was a little
bit uncomfortable almost because he turned his story into such
a it's such a light instead of feeling burdened.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Or you know, in that victim, oh, victim mode.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
Yeah. Like so I think that's another side of the
service that we don't see, is like it all comes
around like you're and he's obviously not giving to get
you know, but he is just a beautiful example of
like he's being blessed now and he gets to just
receive and bask in it and provide this amazing home
for his family.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I made a while back a Pimp and Joy reel
explaining the roots of it and where it came from,
and that's on my Instagram at Radio Amy, so you
can scroll back through the reels and you'll find it.
It's not too far back because I haven't posted tons
and tons of reels since then, even though I made.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
It a while ago.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
But I'll go ahead and play the audio from that
reel now in case you're a new listener and you
don't know the roots of Pimp and Joy and that
it comes from a place of my mom choosing joy
for herself, not ignoring what was happening to her because
she had cancer.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Two things can be true.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
At the same time, she had cancer and that was
devastating and painful, but at the same time, she wasn't
gonna let that keep her from any joy and happiness
and laughter. She really wanted laughter and she wanted God
to use it for good. That was her prayer, and
so Pimp and Joy is an answer to her prayer specifically,
I know because we see it every campaign. Every time
(32:03):
I see a Pimp and Joy hat I'm like, or
a shirt or a sweatshirt.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Or whatever, I'm like. This is an answer to that prayer.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
So I'll play it for you now and then if
you want to support this campaign, then you can go
to the shop Ford dot com slash Pimp and Joy.
All right, here's the audio from the video. Some don't
know the backstory Pimp and Joy, so here you go.
It started when my mom got cancer and we share
her journey on the Bobby Bone Show. Cancer can crush
(32:30):
your spirit, but our mom wouldn't allow it. She was
an example to family, friends and listeners to tap into joy.
Her Twitter handle was Judy b Pimp and Joy, and
from that the hashtag was born. Our listeners were her cheerleaders,
all spreading joy alongside her. Cancer sucks, but we were
going to make the best of it when we could.
There were crappy days, for sure, and we leaned into them,
but we still made space for joy. Her motto was
(32:52):
the joy of the Lord is my strength. Her prayer
at the hospital chapel was Lord, use this cancer for good.
Pimp and Joy donations are an answer to that prayer.
Her joy was contagious. She was the epitome of grace
and joy, and this is the legacy that she left
for us. An entire apparel line through the Shop Forward
came to life after she passed away, and seeing people
wear Pimp and Joy all over the country is seriously
(33:14):
the best thing ever. And it's really cool to know
that one hundred percent of proceeds always go towards spreading
joy to others. Over two million dollars has been donated
and that continues to grow. And Pimp and Joy isn't
just for our family, It's a movement and our mom
would not believe all the good that has come. Years later,
through trials and heartaches, were reminded of her perspective. Wrestle
(33:34):
with the pain, then rest in God's strength and share
that with others. Cancer didn't steal her courage, cancer didn't
conquer her soul, and cancer cannot erase memories like the
memory of making this music video for a song Walker
Hayes wrote about her called joy like.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Judy all right.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
So that's the roots of Pimp and Joy.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
And to support the current campaign and see the super
cute new patriotic items that we have up. I'm obsessed
the Shopford dot com, slash Pimp and Joy and Leanne.
Speaking of websites, where can people find you?
Speaker 4 (34:09):
Yeah, you can find me at Stressless Eating dot com
or Leannellington dot com.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
And then I am Radioamy dot com.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
And my Instagram's at Radio Amy and Saturday is just
two days away and that will be part one of
our series with my new co hosts of Outweigh. LeAnn
has another really fun announcement coming up, but we'll save it.
But it's good, all right. People talk to y'all.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Lada, Bye bye
Cass up bad little food for yourself life.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, it's pretty beautiful than beautiful. That for a little
more fasciting.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Said he can.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You're kicking with full with Amy.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Brown, Happy Thursday, four Things Amy here, And my guest
today is my friend Leanne Ellington, who has been on
the podcast before. And I say, she's a guest right now,
but again we're just gonna be having to talk. Yeah,
and we're together because we just recorded a four part
mini series, four Outweigh that's gonna be so good and
(00:52):
actually starts this Saturday. And Leanne has her own disordered
eating body image story from her past that you now
use as service to others. The theme of today's episode
with us right now, Leanna and I just chatting as
friends and you're joining in on it is how can
we be of service? And really having that mindset daily
(01:15):
and asking yourself that.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Before you show up to work.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I mean, maybe you just look at your job as
a way to pay the bills, but is there a
way you can start seeing in how you can show
up to serve others and then you'll see how that
bleeds into other areas of your life and so Leanne,
what does service mean to you career wise and on
(01:39):
a more personal level in not getting paid.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
It's interesting because if you had told me, you know,
ten fifteen years ago that I would be showing up
in the way that I'm showing up, I would have
been like, wait me, because it was a struggle that
really a form of suffering that I didn't even know
I had, that I didn't even know I would ever
find a way out of. Let alone go on and
invite other women to heal in their own journey. So,
(02:04):
in terms of your question, the big thing for me
was was kind of a wake up call because it
started when I had a moment. You know, we all
have moments in our lives that kind of bring us
to our ease, and mine was the realization that, Wow,
this monster in my head that is obsessing over food
and my body and that feels so much shame and
(02:26):
feels so much disorder.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Wow, I'm very selfish. Like that was my big thing.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I was like, I'm only thinking about me because when
you're in the height of it and not in a
I'm not trying to shame anyone.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
This is what it was for me.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
When you're in such a world of you know, that
kind of mess in your head where it's just it's
the downward spiral of shame, blame, guilt, comparisonitis, embarrassment, fear,
and then all the stories that come alongside it of
like what if people knew, if only they knew all
these things, And you don't believe in yourself, you don't
trust in yourself, but then you're trying to control, control, control,
(03:00):
case it was.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
My weight, my body.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
I had this awareness, this heightened awareness that now I
know it was God, but at the time I didn't
have that faith in my life of like, wow, this
is a very self engrossing way to live.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
It was all about me, me, me, me me.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
And then you know, obviously I got into the healing
side of it and I had another awareness down the road.
Now it's not a big deal to share what I share,
but at first it was this thing of wait a minute,
I'm going to talk about shame. I'm going to talk
about feeling like an addict. I'm going to talk about
hating myself. And what I realized and through mentors and
(03:37):
coaching of mine as well, was of no, instead of
it feeling like a burden, because it did feel like
a burden. I did turn it into kind of taking
it on as an assignment, an assignment from God is
what I would call it now, of just like no,
women need me to step in and own my story
and own my shame so that they can be liberated
from theirs, and so that they can see that it's
(03:57):
not shame and that there it doesn't have to be
a see And that's really where it really started. So
this idea of service wasn't really in my awareness until
I had the self awareness of like, wow, I am
very selfish and I'm only thinking about me, me, me,
me me, and I had a bit of an existential
crisis of like, wow, this is not who I want
to be. I'm not a selfish person. But I realized
(04:18):
like I was living and acting as if I was.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You wanted to step into the highest version of yourself
and you had awareness, so you were definitely not there,
which I think one of the best ways to shift
from ego, which is where I know I was when
I was in the throes of that, and quite honestly
still can be at times. Sure ego pops up all
the time, and that's where you were, and to shift
from ego to your highest self is to be of
service to others. And being of service enables us to
(04:44):
recognize our interconnectedness, our shared humanity, like we're all in
this together and we can be this nice little ecosystem
of giving back and helping each other absolutely and filling
each other up, which is now what you get to
do in service with your career and sharing your story
and your clients. And then are there other ways that
(05:05):
you find yourself serving outside of that?
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Yeah, you know, I'm part of a ministry called Freedom
Prayer where we help walk other people alongside their struggles
and their fears.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
And I think, you know, being of.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Service in even asking yourself in your everyday life, how
can I help and support and pour into somebody? And
I think part of it too is like giving ourselves
permission to feel like we have something to give, right,
Like a lot of people I know walk around with like, well,
who am I to help somebody?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Support somebody? Know what I know, do what I do
all the things.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
And so first it's just like taking it on you
that even just being you and having the energy that
you have and being the personality that you are, being
a listener and a support and a love and somebody
that receives people in the good, the bad, the ugly,
all of where they are is of service.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
And it doesn't have.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
To be friends or your kids or.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Like, yeah, it doesn't have to be this big, grandiose thing, right,
it can just be everyday ways of being of Like
you said, what was the prompt that you said that
you got?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
How can I be of service today? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I mean often I asked myself before work, It's okay,
how can I be of service today?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
It's that exact question.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
And then the mantra is I am here to be
truly helpful. So that might be with your friend, with
your neighbor, with your kids, with your coworker, with your client. Yeah,
so it's not yeah, how many nonprofits am I volunteering for?
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Exactly?
Speaker 4 (06:32):
That's can also become a measuring stick and a badge
of honor and a Girl Scout badge that we collect, right,
even just a shift of the question of like what
can I get to what can I give?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Just that one question?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Yes, I journaled about that this morning.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
I kid you not that I want to be a giver,
but not give to get. There was a situation that
came up where I don't, and this was internal within
my family. The giving and the getting can be within
your home right two and so I realized that I
had behaved in a certain way and I'm like, oh,
that's not how I want to show up, like I
(07:06):
need to give.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Which I do.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Have four quotes because well four things podcasts that tie
into what we're talking about, that people can sit with,
write down, you can use them.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
I don't know how people like to best use quotes.
I love quotes.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Kat and I start every Tuesday episode the fifth thing
off with a quote. And sometimes there're just there's so
many good ones out there, and it's just something that
you can sit with, maybe you can journal about, you
could use it as a prompt. And so we're going
to go for right now that you can chew one.
This is from Wayne Dyer. I start every day by
wanting more for others than I do for myself. I
(07:44):
think that is how God works, and that is how
I think we have to work.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
This one's from Gandhi.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself
in the service of others. This one is from Muhammad Ali.
Service to others is the rent you pay for your
room here on earth. And then this one is from C. S.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Lewis.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Our prayers for others flow more easily than those for ourselves.
This shows we are made to live by charity. So
those are four quotes that are just very much to
the point of we need to find out how we
can show up for others on the daily because that
is going to help fill our cup up.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
And to your point of when you.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Were in the throes of your disordered behavior, that's exactly
how I felt. I had zero space to connect with others.
I tried to operate as if I did and maybe
outwardly it seemed as though I was. But people that
were in relationship with me during that time, which was
a very long time, did not feel connected to me
(08:51):
because I didn't have the bandwidth and my brain was
consumed with other things that were very selfish. My ego
was complete. I was not in the highest version of myself.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
You are a half.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Shelled, compartimentalized version of yourself that wasn't able to be present.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
It's what happens when we get in it.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Right, and no judgment for all of us. Exactly you're
right now.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I actually have gratitude for the fact that I can
recognize that now and I could admit it and be like, Wow,
I was incredibly selfish and I did not have space
for the people in my life and I did not
show up for them the way that I should have.
And what I can do with that information now is
know that I want to be better.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, And I didn't mean it attached at you.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
I'm like, that's just the product of what happens when
we're in that space, you know. And I especially resonate
with that second quote about like finding yourself in the
service of others, and I think that was really part
of it too, is like when you do find healing
in yourself, it's about I have something a piece of
knowledge or a piece of wisdom that would really benefit others.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Like who am I to sit on it and to
not serve? You know?
Speaker 4 (09:53):
And I think the big shift if I were to
re answer your question, because you asked me a question
in the beginning of what I think about service, and like,
the big thing that I would probably say about it
is shifting it from this thing that you do into
something that you are, Like it's a being, not a
doing in like living in that space of again, what
can I give rather than what can I get, as
(10:14):
opposed to looking at it as this checklist and this
you know, shopping list of did I do that?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Did I not do that? Did I volunteer? Did I not?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I am here to be truly helpful? Yeah, that affirmation
is something that you can say over and over until
you believe it. How do you feel about someone's not
in that space? Like saying that to themselves? How do
(10:45):
you feel about someone's not in that space? Like saying
that to themselves over and over? And they're like, but
am I here to be helpful? Am I really doing
anything to be helpful? Or can I even be of help?
Or how in the world would I serve? Or who
wants it's my how what do I have to offer?
I'm thinking of the various lies that can pop in.
But at the same time, that affirmation to yourself might
(11:06):
feel like a lie, but it's still important to say
to yourself over and over. So being that you are,
you big on the brain and you have a wealth
of knowledge when it comes to how we operate, how
is that affirmation powerful in eventually getting us to a
place where we truly do feel like we are here
to help and serve.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah, Oh, I have so much to say about this topic.
I love this stuff.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
But it's about meeting yourself where you are in what
you believe right now, and being mindful of when something
is a lie. So we really want to be mindful
when we're talking about things like affirmations. There is that
line of like do I not believe it yet, but
I kind of believe it, and I want to step
into it versus like where is it an outright lie?
Because if your self image doesn't believe it to be true,
it will actually lay down something called negative neuro associations
(11:51):
and really block that fired and wired process from taking
place of creating new, you know, powerful patterns. So you
don't want to create a dissonance or disconnect in you
by by the outright libe. So, for example, if somebody
is using that affirmation of repeat it again.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
I am here to be truly helpful.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
So if somebody hears I'm here to be truly helpful
and they're like, wow, that does not resonate. I don't
feel it about myself right, even just starting with the
mantra of like I'm on my way to believing that
I'm here to be truly helpful, like literally meeting yourself
where you are, right, or I'm in the process of
becoming the version of myself that feels truly helpful. You're
(12:29):
not lying, but you're meeting yourself where you are in
your disbelief for your doubt and tweaking, because I do
believe it is positive a really important part to kind
of shift our thoughts and move towards that air quotes
positive direction. But again, you've got to meet yourself where
you are so.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Well, because this is where people get tripped up on
the whole mantras and affirmations of like Okay, yeah, you
can say this stuff to yourself all day long, but yeah,
if it's not matching, you're not going to get there.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Yeah, like the whole The most common one I hear
is like I keep telling myself I'm worthy worthy, right,
And the tweak I give is like, what if you
just shifted it to like I'm committed to finally feeling
worthy or I'm committed to learning what I need to
feel love and acceptance, Like you're declaring the process rather
(13:17):
than declaring it as so already, and then your brain
creating a dissonance and a mismatch. And when I say dissonance,
it's like that cognitive dissonance of like I hear it,
but I don't believe it. And that's where you're laying
down negative neuro associations, which actually works against you. The
learning doesn't happen, the laying down of pathways doesn't happen
(13:37):
as fluidly. You're kind of working against yourself, you know.
It's obviously a lot more complex than that, you know.
So meeting yourself where you are by just adding a
frame around it, like I'm committed to becoming or I
am learning how to X, rather than just I am that,
and I think that will help you meet yourself where
you are in your current doubt.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yes, I love that. So yeah, now you're not lying
to yourself the truth I'm committed you No.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Don't say it if you're not committed to it, you know,
and if you're not on the process of learning it, don't.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
So the big thing is, don't lie to yourself, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
But if you're learning, how okay, But walk me through this,
because I do think there are times in which to
build that new or bath the way I've heard. Okay, So,
like for a long time, a story I had is, Okay,
I'm not capable, I'm not smart enough or whatever. I'm
not as smart as certain people. And that's a story
from my teenage years that has been carried with me.
(14:33):
I've carried it with me for a very long time.
And so I would start to say to myself, I
am capable. Yeah, I am capable, I guess because that.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
It already feels true.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
That worked for me, but I did I felt like
I was still lying to myself. I'm like, so I
really capable.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
But I didn't have a problem with I'm being capable.
But I'm glad we're talking about this because I feel
like there is a thing between all these affirmations and
mauntras that we see out there and all these quotes
that I love to say on here all the time,
but then for some people, they're really not going to
nothing's going to happen. Yeah, nothing is going to happen.
But for me, I have sometimes been okay with quote
(15:08):
unquote lying to myself because I knew that my brain
was going to keep hearing that over and over and over,
and to me, that was part of the process, okay, And.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
I felt okay with that. Yeah, no, this is so
good that you're bringing this up. And just keep in mind,
I always like to come from that place of like, well,
not finding the holes in it, but like meeting the
skeptic the cynic where they are, because that's how I was,
and it needed to resonate with me. And resonance is
the big factor for creating those neuroassociations. So, in answer
to what you said, when we logically know something's true,
(15:41):
but we've practiced the opposite for so long, sometimes those
mantras are literally just new reinforcement and memorization, so to speak,
of what we already believed to be true, but we've
just practiced the opposite.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
So I am capable.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Like that wasn't a big stretch for you, because you
could build evidence of why you are capable. You had
just practiced kind of unconsciously or subconsciously telling yourself, well,
I can't do that. But when you in your logic
and reason brain, when you started like thinking about it,
talking about like deep down, you did believe that you
were capable, but you hadn't reinforced that new pathway in
your brain. There wasn't recency, there wasn't frequency, all the
(16:17):
things that we need attention, intension, and repetition.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Air to create a new pathway, right, and.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
That attention intention, repetition air.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Attention intention, repetition air, I are.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
So you didn't have all those things, but the capable
what you didn't label it as an outright lie in
your subconscious mind, right, you believe that.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
But I did feel like I was lying to myself,
and I was like, I'm just to keep lying to
myself till it's true. But I love that you're saying this,
So somewhere deep inside of me, I actually did know
it's true and it wasn't really a lie.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So and that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Some there might be things that you like don't fully
believe yet versus it's I totally disbelieve it. It's a lie.
It feels very untrue to me. You can feel that
distinction in your brain, right. And so part of it
too is where it's like you don't want to build
new beliefs that are such a stretch, such an outright lie,
but if there's something that you can already kind of
(17:07):
grasp onto and build evidence for. So if you had said, hey,
what would be a tweak on that? Like, I don't
feel capable. What I'm telling myself I am capable, like
even just saying like I am learning to remember that
I am capable, or I am committed to feeling the
feels of capable right, And it's just those little tweaks
so that it's right, it's true right now. And it's
(17:29):
not that the other can't work, because attention intention repetition,
it does work, but it's going to be a lot
more resistance, it's probably going to take longer, there might
be some backslide and all of that. But when you
actually believe it and then attention intention repetition.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
It's like that's where the miracles happen.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
So that's why I always invite people to start at
what they can meet in their current reality of belief.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Now.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
It's not that the others not possible, but it's going
to be a lot easier if you start in your
current reality of what you believe now.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
And if being helpful is something you have a desire for,
but you're wondering how you could be helpful, you're not
quite sure yet, so you're not really believing it. That's
when you can start asking yourself questions like, yeah, how
can I serve today? How can I be helpful today?
Or give me a sign that I am being helpful?
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Absolutely, And that's I was just gonna say. It doesn't
always have to be like an affirmation. It can be
a prayer, like, hey, God, use me. I want to
be helpful. I'm not feeling helpful right now. I want
to be of service. I want to be helpful. So
it doesn't always have to be this like radical declaration.
It can be a request. It can be a prayer.
It can be a hope that you're speaking out loud
(18:43):
or writing. So that's the other side of affirmations, Like
it doesn't always have to be so declarative. It can be,
you know, seeding the reality of what you desire.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I love that because I saw someone speaking the other
day speaking on YouTube. My favorite is I have my
favorite place to watch speakers. Do you ever go on
there and just watch TED talks.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
I haven't recently, but I definitely went through my Ted
talk phase. You should do a TED talk. Well, thank you,
we're seeding that into reality. God, I want to be
of service on a TED talk. I don't know how
that happens, but you need to apply.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
We should look into this.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I bet there's a YouTube video on how to become
a Ted talk speaker.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
There probably is.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
I feel like I see ads on either YouTube or
Instagram where it pops up. This one guy's like, you
want to have a Ted talk. I can teach you
how to put together the best Ted talk.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yes, I've seen him. I've seen Ted talks about Ted talks.
So we need to do that, Okay. I am here
to help you do that.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Be of service.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I want to be of service to you and help
you fill out the application or put it out. Hey,
maybe someone listening right now knows someone knows Ted.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Who is this Ted guy?
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Well, thank you for that or Ted X or whatever.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
So I appreciate you saying anyway.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I watch a lot of YouTube ready or just cooking,
doing things.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
I carry my computer around my house. I don't know
if you ever know.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Oh I see it.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah, I carry it to the laundry room and I'm like, oh,
I carry it upstairs and I just keep my YouTube going.
But it'd probably be easier if I just put the
YouTube on my phone.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Hey, no judgment the YouTube.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
How old do I sound? So she was talking about
and I can't remember what I was watching but she
was talking about how she is a big fan of
the lying to yourself and she's a therapist, and I
know she had data to go along with it, but
I like the way you're saying it. The way you're
saying it is resonating with me more, and I believed
(20:37):
what she was saying. I'm like, Okay, there's power in that.
I believe that, and we need to start believing in
ourselves first.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
But I like where you're saying. Let's be realistic, where
are we with this?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And maybe I am on the road to it, maybe
I am gonna I am. I am someone who right
now is making a daily commitment to try to help others.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
Yeah, I think it's about, you know, instead of lying
to yourself.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
And again, it can work.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
It's just going to take longer, right because you're going
to have to fight against negative neuro associations, which is
the opposite of brain change. Right.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
So it's not that it can't work.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
But I'm a big fan and I have so much
evidence of this working with my clients and myself of
like how to make over beliefs very quickly when you
meet yourself in the doubt, meet yourself in what you
think is a lie, Like, meet yourself there and create
the next level of certainty. But going from I hate
my body too I love my body is not the
next level of certainty. That is a massive leap.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
But to your point, so you're saying, if I start
saying I love my body, I love my body, I
love my body, eventually I could love my body. But
you're saying it would take a very, very very that
is maybe.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
There's so many different variables.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Obviously, it depends how deeply you believe the opposite. So
it's it's not a no, it's not a definite yes,
it's a maybe versus. If you meet yourself in your
doubt and build new beliefs, in informations, in alignment with
those in the next level of certainty, it will hands down,
move you move the needle like right away. I've never
(22:08):
experienced it not. But again, what you ask, my answer
is maybe just maybe, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
With enough air intention repetition.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
Again, it just depends how much you like don't believe
the lie.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
How deep does the wound go or the I go.
When did this start? How many years have we been
how much evidence have you built in your brain to
support the lie? But The beautiful thing about our brains
is you get to turn it all over, you get
to rewrite the story. But it does take the You
can't just let go and let God this one.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
It's a choice.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
You've got to put in the work, which leads me
to what we're talking about on Outwagh for the next
four weeks. So this Saturday will be the first episode
with Leanne for two. Things can be true at the
(23:06):
same time, and so I feel like our brains sometimes
struggle with well, shoot, if I believe this and this
is true, there's no way that can be true. But
lots of things can be true at the same time.
You can be in grief and sorrow and sadness over
something and still feel joy and happiness and love for
(23:26):
something else at the same time, depending on different circumstances
that might be happening in your life. And I feel
like sometimes we get tripped.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Up over that.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Yeah, well that's the extremism talking and it doesn't leave
room for grace. I mean even a few weeks ago
when we were meeting, I messaged you the day before
and I was like, hey, things are good, life is good,
and I'm also going through some spiritual existential crises in
my heart. Like I literally told you two things can
be true at the same time, Like we can have
multiple things, and that's where the grace comes in. It
leaves room for grace versus without it. You know, not
(23:57):
only can we not serve ourselves and give ourselves what
we need, then in turn, we're not going to be
of service to others.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I'm in a really good place right now, but I'm
also losing my mind. Yes, two things can be true
at the same time, I feel really saying, but also insane.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yes, two things can be true at the same time.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
But we're going to be talking about specifically on Outweigh
is stuff like, for example, episode one on Saturday or
part one outweih has a lot of episodes, but part
one of this mini series is you can be pro
body image and pro self worth and body positive and
still have health goals that you want to reach. We've
(24:36):
talked about this either on Four Things or Outweigh I
know with certain experts of like a trainer came on
I think it was Outweigh and she was talking about how, yeah,
she's in recovery herself. She still trains clients that are
in recovery. She mostly likes to train people that have
had eating disorders, and she's like, it's okay for you
to show up here and want to train and actually
have goals you want to meet.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
You're here for a reason.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Just because you're and recovery doesn't mean that you can't
have body specific goals.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Yeah, And even what we're talking about today about being
in service of others, like you can serve others while
serving yourself.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Like that quote that stuck out to me.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
It's like a lot of my healing, like next levels
of healing came from helping others walk through their own healing.
So it can be both. Like you can be serving others.
I mean, joy is serving yourself. When you experience joy
by contributing to others and being in the service of others,
you're also serving yourself. So two things can be true
at the same time. You can also be serving if
you have a spiritual life, serving God, you know, while
(25:32):
you're serving others and vice versa chicken egg which came first, right,
But so all of these things can coexist and multiple
things can be true at the same time.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Yeah, that Gondan quote, Yeah, that is good. The best
way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the
service of others. Well, Leanna, I mean something that's very
obvious to me, is you joining me on Outweigh for
this mini series. Two things can be true at the
same time. You're bringing your expertise, your widd You're being
of service to the listeners and to me being my
(26:04):
expert because I'm not the expert and I don't want
that responsibility.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
And I'll say something now too.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Just that's exciting is that Leanne is now a co
host of Outweigh with me, and she's going to be
taking over some stuff she did five weeks of Outweigh
solo herself. And then you've got some cool interviews coming
up after we do this four part series, and then
after the interviews, will do another four parts. When it
comes to two things being true at the same time,
(26:34):
but full transparency, we were recording some stuff for it
and I said something that probably wasn't the most helpful
for someone that might be entering recovery or trying to
set them up for the most success possible. But because
I'm someone that's just on the journey, I didn't catch it.
And you know, the more I learn, I obviously start
(26:56):
to come in tune with like, oh, that could be something.
That's not the best way to put that, because I
don't want to trip somebody up or them to have
a false hope or expectation of like, oh, if I
just do this, I'm going to be magically healed or something.
So we were talking specifically about the two things being
true were you can be on the journey to self
love and self worth and still have really crappy thoughts
(27:17):
about yourself that show up. And I had created a
scenario and we started talking about it, talk talk, talk,
talk talk, and we kind of get into it and
lands like pause, time out. I kind of don't know
that that's the example we should go with because it's
it's not going to set most people up for success,
So what if we take it this route? And that
was the beauty that was you being of service of like, hey,
(27:40):
there's a better way to do this that's going to
actually be more helpful, and you were mindful of that,
and so I was grateful to have you there. So
thank you for being of service and stopping me and
us coming up with a way to present it that
was going to be helpful.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Not harmful.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
Absolutely, well, thank you so much for saying that, and
just to kind of take take it and throw it
back at you, because I mean, what was coming up
for me too, is like how much you are in
service this entire podcast outweigh all of the work that
you're doing on your network with the other podcast, like
you are in service. And I think speaking of two
things can be true at the same time. You know,
when you are losing yourself or finding yourself in the
(28:18):
service of others, like you're also serving yourself.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
So two things can be true at the same time.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
You can be serving others and really pouring into others,
but also be receiving joy and fulfillment and recognition sometimes
and all of the things that we're human and we enjoy.
Two things can be true. Multiple things can be true
at the same time. You can be serving others while
coincidingly serving yourself. And I really believe that you are
such a beautiful example out of that because you take
(28:45):
what you most want to know about and what you're
currently working through, and the vulnerability and the transparency that
you come on here with and on your other podcast
as well, Like it's just it's a service to all
of us, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Oh well, I'm working on it accepting things, so I'm
just gonna not fighting it, so I will accept it
to say receive that I'm receiving. Thank you, and I'm
moving on. Yes to Pimp and Joy and how our
listeners that participated in the Patriotic Pimp and Joy campaign.
You were in service to Corporal Mancin who was the
(29:18):
veteran that we were launched the campaign for. In fact,
still I don't know you know, at the time that
we're recording this, I never know specifics on when you
place your order if you're going to for sure get
it in time for fourth of July, if you didn't
order at the time that we first launched it. But still,
this stuff is so cute you're going to want it
at anytime. And right now, one hundred percent of the proceeds,
(29:39):
as always with Pimp and Joy, are still going towards
helping build Corporal Macin a home through building Homes for Heroes.
And he is a veteran that sacrificed so much for
our country when he was serving in Iraq, he was
in an ied explosion, has had seventy surgery since then.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
He's got two young kids.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
And building them a new home is going to be
a game changer for them. So very thankful for building
homes for heroes and how they serve our veterans and
that because of our listeners and because of Pimp and Joy,
and because of the Shop Forward, we get to come
alongside and help serve Corporal Mangan who served us, served
our country.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
I heard that beautiful interview, and my favorite thing a
part about it was just how he received it with
such grace, Like he had no idea that that's what
you guys were going to tell him was going on,
Like he didn't know you guys were building in the house, you.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Know, No, he thought he was just telling his story.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
Yeah, And that's the other side of service, is like
it's really inversely related, is learning how to receive too.
For him that you could tell he was a little
bit uncomfortable almost because he turned his story into such
a it's such a light instead of feeling burdened.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Or you know, in that victim, oh, victim mode.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
Yeah. Like so I think that's another side of the
service that we don't see, is like it all comes
around like you're and he's obviously not giving to get
you know, but he is just a beautiful example of
like he's being blessed now and he gets to just
receive and bask in it and provide this amazing home
for his family.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I made a while back a Pimp and Joy reel
explaining the roots of it and where it came from,
and that's on my Instagram at Radio Amy, so you
can scroll back through the reels and you'll find it.
It's not too far back because I haven't posted tons
and tons of reels since then, even though I made.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
It a while ago.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
But I'll go ahead and play the audio from that
reel now in case you're a new listener and you
don't know the roots of Pimp and Joy and that
it comes from a place of my mom choosing joy
for herself, not ignoring what was happening to her because
she had cancer.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Two things can be true.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
At the same time, she had cancer and that was
devastating and painful, but at the same time, she wasn't
gonna let that keep her from any joy and happiness
and laughter. She really wanted laughter and she wanted God
to use it for good. That was her prayer, and
so Pimp and Joy is an answer to her prayer specifically,
I know because we see it every campaign. Every time
(32:03):
I see a Pimp and Joy hat I'm like, or
a shirt or a sweatshirt.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Or whatever, I'm like. This is an answer to that prayer.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
So I'll play it for you now and then if
you want to support this campaign, then you can go
to the shop Ford dot com slash Pimp and Joy.
All right, here's the audio from the video. Some don't
know the backstory Pimp and Joy, so here you go.
It started when my mom got cancer and we share
her journey on the Bobby Bone Show. Cancer can crush
(32:30):
your spirit, but our mom wouldn't allow it. She was
an example to family, friends and listeners to tap into joy.
Her Twitter handle was Judy b Pimp and Joy, and
from that the hashtag was born. Our listeners were her cheerleaders,
all spreading joy alongside her. Cancer sucks, but we were
going to make the best of it when we could.
There were crappy days, for sure, and we leaned into them,
but we still made space for joy. Her motto was
(32:52):
the joy of the Lord is my strength. Her prayer
at the hospital chapel was Lord, use this cancer for good.
Pimp and Joy donations are an answer to that prayer.
Her joy was contagious. She was the epitome of grace
and joy, and this is the legacy that she left
for us. An entire apparel line through the Shop Forward
came to life after she passed away, and seeing people
wear Pimp and Joy all over the country is seriously
(33:14):
the best thing ever. And it's really cool to know
that one hundred percent of proceeds always go towards spreading
joy to others. Over two million dollars has been donated
and that continues to grow. And Pimp and Joy isn't
just for our family, It's a movement and our mom
would not believe all the good that has come. Years later,
through trials and heartaches, were reminded of her perspective. Wrestle
(33:34):
with the pain, then rest in God's strength and share
that with others. Cancer didn't steal her courage, cancer didn't
conquer her soul, and cancer cannot erase memories like the
memory of making this music video for a song Walker
Hayes wrote about her called joy like.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Judy all right.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
So that's the roots of Pimp and Joy.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
And to support the current campaign and see the super
cute new patriotic items that we have up. I'm obsessed
the Shopford dot com, slash Pimp and Joy and Leanne.
Speaking of websites, where can people find you?
Speaker 4 (34:09):
Yeah, you can find me at Stressless Eating dot com
or Leannellington dot com.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
And then I am Radioamy dot com.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
And my Instagram's at Radio Amy and Saturday is just
two days away and that will be part one of
our series with my new co hosts of Outweigh. LeAnn
has another really fun announcement coming up, but we'll save it.
But it's good, all right. People talk to y'all.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Lada, Bye bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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