July 18, 2023 • 29 mins
Do you know what you really want in life or do you only know what society tells you that you should want? Amy & Kat chat about several different things this week, but the most important part of their conversation is the reminder to ask yourself this question anytime you’re making a decision (especially a big “life” decision): “What part of me wants to do this and why?”
Years ago, Amy was doing everything under the sun to get pregnant because she didn’t want to fail as a woman (so we are made to believe) and it led to some interesting things. Amy found herself getting colonics (yes, THAT type of treatment) because she heard doing them regularly would up her chances of conceiving. The woman administering colonics started putting some bizarre lies (conspiracies) in Amy’s head and she was tempted to believe them since she was willing to try almost anything to get pregnant. All that to say, fertility issues led to the adoption of two sweet kids from Haiti, so you never know what blessings will come from surrendering to what you really want/need to do vs. what society tells you that you should want/need to do!
TODAY’S QUOTE:
“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.” - Maya Angelou
TOPICS:
-Trendy nail color idea (something fun to try out for summer)
-Email from a listener about PCOS
-Why Amy was doing colonics & avoiding dryer sheets
-So much of our identity (as women) is wrapped up in getting pregnant / having kids
-Your story is different than others and that’s not bad (so know what YOU want out of life for YOURSELF, nobody else)
-Gender specific colors (pink for girls & blue for boys)
-Journaling (Amy’s childhood diary)
-The online address book that Kat used to gather info from her friends
-& More
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Defatta // @Kat.Defatta // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat And today's quote is from Maya Angelou, forgive
yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you
learned it.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I love that and it reminds me of guess who
the game.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
No, I was trying to get you to guess. So wait,
let me resay that. Guess who.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It reminds you me No, no, Sean Aequist, but her,
I guess I haven't learned that yet.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh yes, yeah, so sorry like me because I actually
have learned a lot the last couple of years, and
I have had to do a lot of forgiving because
it's like, it's easy to get into this mindset of oh,
if only I had known that sooner, look at all
I would have, you know, protected myself from or saved
(00:54):
myself from or avoided or whatever.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
But it's like, oh, that was all part of the journey. Well,
and you can't know something you don't know exactly. You
can't be mad at.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yourself, which that Shawnaiquist book is a really good, so
good book. I loved my interview with her. You I
loved yours. So at You Need Therapy podcast, there's an
interview with Shawna about that book, and also on the
Thursday four Things episodes from a while back that was
this year or last year?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
That was last year because I was in my old
house when I did it, but I just replayed it
for one of my best ofs for the July fourth week.
Oh so it's fresh on the page.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Fresh on the page, which we ended last Tuesday's Fifth
Thing teasing that we were going to address cat slow
blinking at her fiance, and I need to know what happened,
because if you slow blink at a cat, like a kitten,
not therapy cat here, but a kitten or a grown cat,
it will come over to you and come close to
(01:54):
you and feel safe and like rub its nose up
against you. At least that's what my cat, Maggie has
been doing when I slow blink at her. And so
CAP's going to test it out on her fiance. What happened.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
So he didn't do any of those things at one
point in the video because you secretly recorded him and
then you sent me the video and it kind of
looked like I thought he was about to do not
it looked like he was going to Yes.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Well, he touched his nose to you.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
He did that, but he was just mocking me, and
he got really close to me and started doing it
back to me. He was so confused what was going on,
which is fair. It was a strange thing to do.
But so he did that, and then I kind of
I guess maybe I mess it up.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Did I push him away?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Why?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I don't know that there was any specific rules. Okay,
So then he kept saying what are you doing? What
are you doing?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
And then he said is this Morse code? And then
he was like, oh, I get it. You're saying I
love you in Morse code?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I told you he was going to think it was
Morse code? Wait did you say that?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I did.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yes. Whenever we first talked about it, I said, oh
my gosh, you're going to be doing it and he's
going to be like, wait, is this Morse code? Do
you need help? Are you trying to tell me something?
You know?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah, he didn't think I needed help. He might have
thought I needed help, but you didn't think I need help.
He just said, are you trying to tell me you
love me? And Morris Coote It was really cute.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Actually, you know there's groups of people online that really
are passionate about certain famous people they follow or something
that they think are in distress. Oh yeah, like they're not.
But I'll see that's where I'll see comments or I
don't know if they are honestly, but they'll leave comments
like hey, blink twice or three times if you're okay,
(03:30):
or blink five if you need me to call nine
one one, which I did watch the TMZ Britney Spears
little documentary thing. There's a new one. I don't know
how old it is, okay, but cry Ocat wanted to
pull it up and watch it. And I was trying
to teach Sashira, my daughter, about Britney Spears because oh,
my kids don't know how huge she was. Is like,
(03:51):
she still is one of the most famous people in
the world. But think back like nineteen ninety nine, two
thousand or whatever, she was the biggest I was with her.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yes, I had her posters all over my wall. She
was my favorite person in the world.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah, and she was dating Justin Timberlate from ZYNC, Like
her life couldn't have been Bettah.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Does she know who she is now because of the
current circumstances, No, not a clue.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
That's how it came up. So Shara was on my
Instagram because you know, she runs my link account now
she links things for me. So she has radio am
like Instagram on her phone and I follow Brittany and
she saw some of Britney's interesting dance videos and she's like,
what is going on with this person? And I go
(04:33):
this person even mean Britney Spears and Cryocat was here,
so she said, oh, TMZ has this documentary about like
her conservatorship or whatever whenever that was her fans were
part of trying to bringing that down. Anyway, what made
me think of this was some of her fans when
(04:55):
they saw that she was off of social media or
she had not posted a certain amount of time, they
called nine to one one because they were worried about her,
and they're like, we need you to do a welfare
check on Britney Spears. And they played the nine on
one audio of fans requesting they go by her house
and check, and police did. They went behind did a
welfare check.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
That's so interesting because I guess anybody.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Can call a welferre.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I've called a welfare check on a client, but I've
never thought that I could just call it on anybody
because I was afraid that they were going to hurt themselves.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh I think they were just five minutes late.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
And you're like, I mean, I have caught a welfare
check on a client who didn't show up and then
it didn't respond, and it was somebody that I would
be worried.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I had reason to be worried about.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
And I've also just called a welfare check because of
other things that have happened, but I've never done it
to somebody that I just see.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
On Instagram right that. These are people that are very
invested in her life. Which speaking of invested, I'm very
invested in your nails right now because each nail is
a different color, which I saw Kelsey Ballerini did that.
No way. Yeah, so I think it's a thing, okay
right now, So now I'm wanting to try it, not
because of Kelsey, but it looks cute. It look does
(06:05):
on Kelsey and then it looks cute on you. So yes,
because of y'all, I do want to try it. But
you just literally each finger is a different color, and
you did what like pink, yellow, green blue?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
This is orange yellow, yeah, green blue and purple. But
the crazy thing is picking out colors that all would go.
The last time I did this, my hands look like
an Easter egg, and I wanted this to be like summary.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I don't know if I hit the mark. I think
you hit the mark and whatever Kelsey had, she hit
the mark. I wish I knew exactly what the colors
were called. I have nothing on my fingers and nothing
on my toes right now. I'm just natural, which feels good.
But my summer go to is normally funny bunny, which
is just that whiteish, so it's not very beauty. And
(06:52):
then my fall color is like a brown or a black. Okay,
so I mean to spice things.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
You had a moment where you were doing like very simple,
fun designs, but then you got that then you get
like a crack in your hand or something an infection.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, nails are expensive. I don't That's not how I
want to spend money, but I know that that's your thing,
like you like spending money on that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Well, and if I don't have my nails done, they'll
be gone. This helps me not, which is funny because
I've had this whole journey of stop picking my nails.
But it used to really help me not rip all
my nails off because I spent money on them.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
That makes me think of you know, we talked about
that game last week Do you really know your family?
And when I was playing it with the kids, I said,
what is my weirdest habit? And they both go pulling
out hair and yours would be picking at your nails
or which weird. I feel like a lot of people
do that. I rip my hair out too.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I have one spot where it's either bald or the
hair is really short, and Patrick will slap my hand
if I'm doing it, while I'll just do it or
watch TV that it feels it's satisfying.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
It's no good. I know. I don't think I'm ever
going to be able to stop. I just love it
because that is my different hobbies. Yeah, we need a
different hobby. I do have an email from someone that
I think will be relatable to you, Kat, because of PCOS,
which you've been vocal about having. It's from Brenna and
she said, hey, Amy and Kat. I love listening to
(08:18):
the Fifth Thing and feel like I'm just sitting down
to a conversation with friends every time I listen Boom.
That's the goal. Amy, I have appreciated your honesty about
your fertility journey. I was diagnosed with PCOS in July
twenty twenty two after struggling to get pregnant for several months.
My ob tried several medications prior to giving me a
fertility specialist. I was recommended to take clomid, but after
(08:41):
hearing how much you struggled when taking it, I ultimately
decided it wasn't going to be for me. I'll insert
myself here real quick. Everybody responds differently to medication. So
if I have spoken negatively about my experience with clovid,
what was it, CALLO made clumd. You can find clovied
and Covid, cleomid with clomid, it's because I did have
(09:04):
a negative experience, like it was horrible, But other people
had great experience, So I wouldn't rule anything out based
on what anybody else says, because our body are so different.
But obviously, she said, thankfully, my doctors listened to me
and I tried some other options. I'm happy to announce
that I'm now almost five months pregnant with a sweet
(09:24):
baby girl. After going to a fertility specialist every appointment
I had I was wearing my Choose Joy T shirt,
and it reminded me that although I was going through
a very tough and difficult time, that I could still
choose Joy. I love the entire shot forward and all
the Pimp and Joy stuff too. Thank you for always
being honest about what you've struggled with or dealing with
(09:46):
your friend, Brenna. She said, PS. I live in Carrie,
North Carolina, and I checked out your friend's shop, The
mocking Bird on Broad and Southern Pines, and it is
so cute. I got a great pair of earrings there,
which didn't you order earrings from me? I ordered some
cute like beaded heart ones.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I also bought some stuff from there and sent it
to my uncle when he had a heart attack. I
bought him that the meditation book, The Funny One, the
Bad Word One. Yeah. I can't wanted to say it,
but I can't.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I sent Lisa a birthday present from there, and it's
a coffee mug that says what the and then it
says a bad word Yeah, but in parentheses it's like no, seriously.
I just thought it would make Lisa laugh because she's
had a very interesting year where it's like, what the Yeah,
this is crazy. So I ordered that too from The Mockingbird,
(10:31):
So shout out Sundy, my friend that owns it. But
back to Brenna's email, I am so excited to hear
that you were successful in getting pregnant. That's very, very,
very exciting. But I would imagine that a lot of
people listening either have been on the fertility journey like
I was, and I went to multiple fertility doctors and
(10:52):
was never able to get pregnant and then went the
route of adoption and that was ended up being a
beautiful thing for us. And so now I can see
the why, like why that happened for us? What does
this make possible? What was made possible from that? But
I still think of people that are on that journey,
adoption may not be something that they feel called to
(11:12):
do and they still want to get pregnant, or or
they even just have PCOS and they're not even thinking
about getting pregnant. But I'm not as familiar. I don't
have PCOS, So I just didn't know if you wanted
to speak to that quickly to encourage, because I know
a lot of women out there do have it.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
I don't know if it's just more common now, or
more people are talking about it, or more people are
being diagnosed in and a lot of people have had
it their whole lives. But what's interesting is my mom
has it, my sister has it, and we all have it.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
My mom had four kids without any problems.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
My sister she did the whole CLOMEDE did IOI and
now she did I IVF and.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
She had a baby boy.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
And I've never tried to get pregnant, so I have
no idea how it's going to affect me. But I'm
glad people are talking about it more because it's something
that we didn't do anything to get it. It's just
something we have. And I think a lot of times
the infertility stuff can feel like there's something wrong with
me and like what did I do? And a lot
of people can blame themselves of I should have been
more careful about this, or I should have been more
(12:13):
careful about this, But you don't do anything to get that.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Oh man, I went down a deep rabbit hole of
things that I started to unpack because I just was
so confused by it that I started to go get
those colonics. Remember, yeah, I haven't cut one of those
in quite some time. But I was eating a certain
way and that fed into my disordered eating because I thought,
now I have an excuse to be very picky with food,
(12:49):
because it's like, oh, I'm trying to get pregnant, and
people like, oh that makes sense. Eat as little as
you want or whatever, or eat only these five foods.
Sounds great because you're trying to get pregnant. So I
use that as an excuse. But then also so I
had heard, okay, if I get colonics, that might help,
like get my bot. I don't even know why, quite honestly,
but when I went to go get colonix, I was
(13:09):
living in North Carolina at the time, and the woman
I didn't even know her, just made an appointment, went
and then she was I told her that I was
trying to have kids, and she said, oh my gosh,
stop using dryer sheets. That's causing fertility issues, which who knows,
I don't know. So I stopped using dryer sheets. And
then she tells me that the kim lines or whatever
those are called, you know, from airplanes, the line in
the sky. I forget the exact name of what people
(13:31):
call them, but kim trails is the conspiracy, and she
was telling me that those are poisoning our crops. And
then obviously I was married to Ben at the time
and he's a was a pilot Air Force and I'm like,
what are those trails? And he explained to me exactly
what they are, but I was like, I don't know.
They're poisoning us and making us They're causing fertility issues
(13:52):
so that we can't populate. That's what like, you know,
hang all the planes down. You just start to look
there has to be a reason why this is happening.
And I just went down this whole thing where I
was eliminating all these things for my life because I
was convinced by someone that they were causing the problem.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Well, the interesting thing is PTOs affects a lot more
than your fertility. There's a lot of side effects that
bump up against what women are supposed to be and
feel and do, and so I'm not going to get
into all of that, but when it comes to the
fertility stuff, it's interesting to me because and this is
for somebody who doesn't even have pcos, it could anybody
who struggles with with fertility, or or just somebody who
(14:33):
doesn't want to get pregnant. Is it's been postured as
this thing that women are all supposed to do and
it's just supposed to come naturally, and you're supposed to
want to do it, And there's so much wrapped up
in it that I think it hits us. And maybe
it's different when you're the one experiencing, but it hits different,
Like it affects so many things. When you can't get pregnant,
(14:53):
it's well, this is this one thing that I've been
put on this earth to populate, and this is my
right and this is my and then you can't do it.
There's so much wrapped up in that and our identities.
I don't know if that's something you struggled with.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Well, I think a bin struggled with it too. It
wasn't just you me, there was as a man there was,
which he got tested too. We couldn't really figure out
what was going on, but he felt that one hundred percent. Yeah,
So I think it's it's both yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
What does that mean? Like, I think this goes back
to you saying I was able to adopt. And what
does this make possible is sometimes there's so many scripts
that are that are written and that we abide by naturally,
just because we live in this world about a family
and what it's supposed to look like and what it
brings you and all this thing, and there's nothing better
than being a mom, There's nothing better than being a dad.
(15:43):
There's nothing better than having a family and American dream.
And so when we aren't able to have that or
it doesn't work out the way that like the books
are written in our society, it does cause a lot
of discomfort and pain and insecurity when it could just
be this is not supposed to be the journey for you,
And that doesn't mean you're gonna have a less than life, right, No.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
It is not even just with kids. That could be
like anything. Choosing to be single.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Yeah, yes, yeah, yes, I think that is such a
big one that people think. And this is something that
I struggled with a lot, because I got engaged a
couple months ago. I didn't ever, I didn't know when
that was going to happen or if it was going
to happen.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
And people are looked at like, oh.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I'm sorry, like you don't have what you really want
or what you really need or what you're supposed to
have yet and it's well, I really liked my life.
I really liked my life, and a lot of people
are choose to not be in relationships and it doesn't
mean they're not having as good of an experience they
could have.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
No, that's good encourage. Yeah, because there's just like so
many things that are put into us at a young
age and they just live within us, and we think
sort of like blue is for boys and pink is
for girls, which, way, way, way, way way back in
the day pink was popular for boys. Really, don't ask
me the time frame. Look up, that's so interesting. Was
(17:07):
pink popular for boys? How do you even know that?
I don't know. Oh, okay, about eighteen forty. Wait, that's
not that long ago. Okay, here we go. It was
in the nineteen forties. Those babies were the first to
be dressed in sex specific clothing that Americans are familiar
(17:31):
with today, boys in blue and girls in pink. Huh,
So here we go. I mean that's just one example. Now,
we think that a lot of times when I'm getting
anything for the kids, that's just naturally how I decide
how I'm going to tell something apart for them getting
them new toothbrushes, or something. Well, I'll get stufh share
of the pink, and Steven's in the blue meanwhile, to
(17:54):
share his color. Favorite color right now is navy blue,
so I should have gotten her blue, but she also
likes pink, but she just put She picked out her
bedding for her dad's house and she wanted all navy blue. Interesting,
I know it looks really good, like maybe blue and white.
That's her And then she met a papa pink. She
got these lamps from pottery Barnteen, which I've never shopped there,
(18:17):
but we found these lamps like on major sale and
they're so cute and they're pink pink ish.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Yeah, So I think that probably just what that does
speak to we should be asking ourselves what is it
that I really want and what is it that makes
me happy? Versus what is it that I'm told or
what is it that I should like or want? And
then when we even answer that question what is it
that I want? I think it would be helpful, like
(18:43):
what part of me wants that? Like what is bringing
that up? Because if it's well, I want that because
then I'm going to fit in, or I want that
because so and so got it in they're happy, or
I want that because that person on TV had it. Well,
sometimes that makes sense and that's okay, and sometimes it's like,
but that's not really what I want.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
That's an awesome journaling prompt, the question you asked of
why is it that I want this or what part
of me wants it? And it may take you days
to work through or even weeks of journaling. But that's
the cool part about I think writing things down is
you can go back and read what you were writing
(19:21):
in the days before and see how it's evolved as
it starts to flow out of you. I got Stashira
a journal for the first time. It's pink. Okay, what
part of you got heard the pink journal? I take it?
She asked her a journal. Right when I said that,
(19:43):
I was like, Cat's about to ask you for color,
and I'm gonna have to say pink. But to be fair,
was at the drug store or pharmacy? Do you say
pharmacy or drug store? Like if you're talking about Walgreens,
I would never say either. I would say about Walgreens. Okay,
all right? Well, so I was at actually is at CBS,
and they only had a few journals to choose from.
(20:05):
But she had just said she wanted one, and I
was there and I was thinking about it, and I
didn't want to forget, so I was like, well, I'm
going to get this one. And Pink was the prettiest,
so that's probably why I got it. But I'm sure
subconsciously I was like, she's a girl, she'll love it.
So I'm excited to see how she puts it to use,
because I was telling her how therapeutic it has been
(20:26):
for me, and that I was never a journaler and
didn't write until we started doing the Four Things Gratitude journals.
That was the beginning of journaling for me, and so
I still do the four Things Gratitude journals. But then
I have a journal that I just free flow in.
And sometimes, honestly, I free flow in the Gratitude Journal
even though it's four things. I'll just kind of flow.
(20:47):
Who cares how you use it? It's all paper. But
I have another specific journal that is just free flow.
Did you have a journal as a kid? I had
a little teeny tiny diary. It's actually downstairs. I didn't
use it much, but you can go. I want to
look and see the things I would write about revotting.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I had two journals or diaries as a kid, but
they were one was all had prompts and it's all
about like the crush I had in fifth grade and
it's really funny to look at. But the other one,
I had one of those black light journals. You guess
you're looking at me like I'm crazy.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Well, I didn't have one, but that's pretty awesome, like
Stevenson would love that. So you get to write it
a special yeah, yeah, yeah. And unless you have the light,
you can't read it.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
So even if you stole my journal, you wouldn't be
able to read what I wrote about you.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
And I was mad at you, like if my mom
stile it. Yeah, I know my diary had a lock
as a kid, but I don't think it's locked. I
know I didn't write much in it at all. I
had this one boyfriend who my mom kept my diary
whatever in her kitchen table like our where we would
eat breakfasts and stuff had down below like two hidden
(21:49):
doors and you could store stuff in it. Isn't that weird?
And you would open it up and that's where my
mom kept my diary. So one of my boyfriends was
visiting once in college at my mom's and he opened
it up one of the books that I had in there.
I will have to go downstairs and look and see
which one it is. And he wrote in there to
whatever loser is with Amy. Now, if you're reading this,
(22:10):
I must be dead or some because basically that means
we would have broken up. And so we broke up,
but he didn't die a lot. Interesting. Interesting, But you
let your boyfriend read your dad. I'm telling you, there
was not much there. It's like Amy was here nineteen
(22:31):
ninety four. Wu z Yeah, yeah, Amy. Plus you know
Christie equals sisters Like it wasn't okay. Maybe I don't
want to read it. That's why I wasn't a journal er.
I didn't know how to. But I wish that I
had had that tool as a teenager. I think it
would have helped me process. So I say all this, so,
whether you're sixteen, fourteen, twenty five, sixty five, listening to this.
(22:57):
Journaling has been such a gift for me the last
several years. Such a gift, and it's evolved, it's changed.
I now look forward to it. It's pretty much part
of my daily practice. I will journal most every day
if I don't, it's odd and it's nothing overwhelming. You
can do one page, or you can set a timer
(23:17):
for three minutes, or you can set a timer for
five or Ali Fallon once made me set a timer
for twenty and she said, twenty journal for twenty minutes,
four days in a row, and it'll change your life.
So I did it, and I don't know. I mean,
I still enjoy I like it. I mean, I think
at the moment, I remember it feeling really really good.
But she said it'll change you, like internally, it's doing
(23:38):
something to your health, like you may not even really
know that it's changing you. Did your hand start a cramp? No,
I'm not like writing like super fast or gripping really hard.
But maybe that's my problem.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I feel like my hand always cramps when I start to,
like write a letter to somebody.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
I want to start doing more handwritten letters. Yeah, I
made that a goal a couple years ago, and I
never wrote one. No, I wrote one. Are y'all going
to do handwritten thank you cards for your What was
that thing you sent me the other day? Was that
for the wedding or just for you?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I got so many texts back that were like, is
this spam or is this a virus?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
It's for the wedding. I never thought of that. You
didn't think that, And I filled it out.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Because it is kind of sketchy. It's like, hey, fill
this out. Here's a link, but it does have my
name in it, and I'm sending it to you. It's
a website where you can have an online address book.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
It's for the wedding, so I can givebody's addresses. But
now I have.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Everybody's addresses and birthdays and it shows me why I
log on there.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Oh, so many's birthdays coming up.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
You should send them a card, which this is what
people had in the olden days. My grandma had an
address book with everybody's birthday so you would always know
who to send what to.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
And we don't have this anymore. I learned about because
I'm someone with ADHD that like, I was not great
at keeping up with birthdays, like or just the because
that takes organization and planning and sitting down and being
you know, which I think inside of me, I had
the desire to be thoughtful and intentional, but then planning
(25:06):
all of that seemed overwhelming. So I was like, I'll
just wing it, and then I wing it and I forget.
So I have been adding things to my calendar, slowly
but surely, and I think I have most people added,
so it pops up. And I've gotten a lot better
at remembering and making that a priority because I want
to remember. And what was I going to say about that?
(25:29):
Do you have my birthday?
Speaker 2 (25:30):
There?
Speaker 1 (25:31):
ADHD's kicking in December fourth? I have that my brain.
I don't even need it in my calendar. How do
you remember that? I don't know when's mine? March seventeenth? Oh, ageen, No, hey,
blame your ADHD.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Okay, that's my ADHD. Well, I don't have it in
my calendar. I actually might have it in my calendar. Well,
I have it on my online address book. Now you
should get one. But then people are going to be like, oh,
what part are you inviting me to?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Okay, I'm trying to think where my brain was going.
I was that, but I think it was just that
I appreciated what you've sent, and I thought I thought
you were using it for your wedding. But I was like, well,
what if she's not. This is brilliant because this is
how you can gather information from people. So I'm sure
you could use it even if you're not getting married. Yeah,
(26:17):
as a way to collect and somebody asked me if
I was collecting. I sent it to a therapist friend
and she was like, oh, this is such a great idea.
Is this so you can keep all of your referral
sources organized? And I was like, no, but I can now. Yeah. Well,
so what's it called postable?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Okay, yeah, I'm sure there's a million websites that do it,
but that was the one that popped up.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
So it's postable dot com. Oh so you have cards
to choose from here and write. If you go to
postable dot com, you click on get addresses or something.
I don't know. I'm going to look into this because
I feel like this is a great way to I organized.
Crazy that you've never gotten one of that's never never huh.
(26:58):
I was fascinated, But I'm not so now mad at
myself that I didn't think scam and that I quickly
tapped on it, because you can't quickly tap on anything
these days, even if it is from your friend, because
what if you got hacked or.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
They well, yeah, because people's facebooks get hacked all the time.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I got a text from my bank the other day,
except for it wasn't really my bank, which I don't
know if the scammers knew that was my bank or
if it was just coincidence. But it looked like I
was getting a text from Truest, which I don't have
Truest saved in my phone, but it came up as Truest.
But I know that's my bank, So I'm thinking, do
I have that saved in my phone? And then when
I but when I click on the contact and I
(27:37):
go to it, there is nothing. There's no number, there's
no nothing. I don't know how they're doing it. They
sent a text. I posted about it on Instagram. Okay,
so right here, see how it says Truest. Like right here,
it says cousin Amanda ben iPhone Truest. Click on that
and it says Verify activity two hundred and fifty five
(27:57):
dollars and thirty seven cents was purchased at time Target
in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, on seven six. That's the reply.
Why if you recognize no use code da da da,
And it's like a link that you click. But the
crazy part about this is that is my bank and
the day that I got this. I had placed a
target order, but not in Oklahoma. Not in Oklahoma. But
(28:21):
I thought our scammers getting this sophisticated where they know
certain things that I'm doing, so they know that I'm
more susceptible in that moment, because I actually kind of thought, shoot, Oklahoma,
did I because of an online order? And so I'm like,
did they have like a warehouse facility in Oklahoma that
just you know, yeah, Like you have these thoughts that
make me think this might be legit. So I'm going
(28:43):
to click on it. But because I don't click too
fast except for your postable link, I paused and I
was like, this is a total scam, but it looks
so legit. But what made it feel even more legit
was the bank and the fact that I had just
placed an order. So either that is a big fat
coincidence or they are getting that sophisticated.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
That is crazy that they can show up the name
as the crazy I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
And there's no number, Okay, there's no phone. I'm clicking
on truest and then when I go to contact, if
I click trust to get more info, there's nothing. You
can't call that number. There's not even a number. See
it's blank. I don't like this. I know the future
is getting you have anything positive to end on, have
the day you need that is positive. You're saving people
from being scammed getting scammed. So Kat, where can people
(29:31):
find you?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
On Instagram at at Kat dot defada and at you
Need Therapy podcast.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Boom and I am at Radio Amy on Instagram and
you can hit up Radioamy dot com for more things
and we will or I will see you Thursday for
four things and Kat will be back next Tuesday for
the fifth thing. Bye bye,
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat And today's quote is from Maya Angelou, forgive
yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you
learned it.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I love that and it reminds me of guess who
the game.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
No, I was trying to get you to guess. So wait,
let me resay that. Guess who.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It reminds you me No, no, Sean Aequist, but her,
I guess I haven't learned that yet.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh yes, yeah, so sorry like me because I actually
have learned a lot the last couple of years, and
I have had to do a lot of forgiving because
it's like, it's easy to get into this mindset of oh,
if only I had known that sooner, look at all
I would have, you know, protected myself from or saved
(00:54):
myself from or avoided or whatever.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
But it's like, oh, that was all part of the journey. Well,
and you can't know something you don't know exactly. You
can't be mad at.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yourself, which that Shawnaiquist book is a really good, so
good book. I loved my interview with her. You I
loved yours. So at You Need Therapy podcast, there's an
interview with Shawna about that book, and also on the
Thursday four Things episodes from a while back that was
this year or last year?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
That was last year because I was in my old
house when I did it, but I just replayed it
for one of my best ofs for the July fourth week.
Oh so it's fresh on the page.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Fresh on the page, which we ended last Tuesday's Fifth
Thing teasing that we were going to address cat slow
blinking at her fiance, and I need to know what happened,
because if you slow blink at a cat, like a kitten,
not therapy cat here, but a kitten or a grown cat,
it will come over to you and come close to
(01:54):
you and feel safe and like rub its nose up
against you. At least that's what my cat, Maggie has
been doing when I slow blink at her. And so
CAP's going to test it out on her fiance. What happened.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
So he didn't do any of those things at one
point in the video because you secretly recorded him and
then you sent me the video and it kind of
looked like I thought he was about to do not
it looked like he was going to Yes.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Well, he touched his nose to you.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
He did that, but he was just mocking me, and
he got really close to me and started doing it
back to me. He was so confused what was going on,
which is fair. It was a strange thing to do.
But so he did that, and then I kind of
I guess maybe I mess it up.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Did I push him away?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Why?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I don't know that there was any specific rules. Okay,
So then he kept saying what are you doing? What
are you doing?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
And then he said is this Morse code? And then
he was like, oh, I get it. You're saying I
love you in Morse code?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I told you he was going to think it was
Morse code? Wait did you say that?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I did.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yes. Whenever we first talked about it, I said, oh
my gosh, you're going to be doing it and he's
going to be like, wait, is this Morse code? Do
you need help? Are you trying to tell me something?
You know?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah, he didn't think I needed help. He might have
thought I needed help, but you didn't think I need help.
He just said, are you trying to tell me you
love me? And Morris Coote It was really cute.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Actually, you know there's groups of people online that really
are passionate about certain famous people they follow or something
that they think are in distress. Oh yeah, like they're not.
But I'll see that's where I'll see comments or I
don't know if they are honestly, but they'll leave comments
like hey, blink twice or three times if you're okay,
(03:30):
or blink five if you need me to call nine
one one, which I did watch the TMZ Britney Spears
little documentary thing. There's a new one. I don't know
how old it is, okay, but cry Ocat wanted to
pull it up and watch it. And I was trying
to teach Sashira, my daughter, about Britney Spears because oh,
my kids don't know how huge she was. Is like,
(03:51):
she still is one of the most famous people in
the world. But think back like nineteen ninety nine, two
thousand or whatever, she was the biggest I was with her.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yes, I had her posters all over my wall. She
was my favorite person in the world.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah, and she was dating Justin Timberlate from ZYNC, Like
her life couldn't have been Bettah.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Does she know who she is now because of the
current circumstances, No, not a clue.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
That's how it came up. So Shara was on my
Instagram because you know, she runs my link account now
she links things for me. So she has radio am
like Instagram on her phone and I follow Brittany and
she saw some of Britney's interesting dance videos and she's like,
what is going on with this person? And I go
(04:33):
this person even mean Britney Spears and Cryocat was here,
so she said, oh, TMZ has this documentary about like
her conservatorship or whatever whenever that was her fans were
part of trying to bringing that down. Anyway, what made
me think of this was some of her fans when
(04:55):
they saw that she was off of social media or
she had not posted a certain amount of time, they
called nine to one one because they were worried about her,
and they're like, we need you to do a welfare
check on Britney Spears. And they played the nine on
one audio of fans requesting they go by her house
and check, and police did. They went behind did a
welfare check.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
That's so interesting because I guess anybody.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Can call a welferre.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I've called a welfare check on a client, but I've
never thought that I could just call it on anybody
because I was afraid that they were going to hurt themselves.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh I think they were just five minutes late.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
And you're like, I mean, I have caught a welfare
check on a client who didn't show up and then
it didn't respond, and it was somebody that I would
be worried.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I had reason to be worried about.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
And I've also just called a welfare check because of
other things that have happened, but I've never done it
to somebody that I just see.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
On Instagram right that. These are people that are very
invested in her life. Which speaking of invested, I'm very
invested in your nails right now because each nail is
a different color, which I saw Kelsey Ballerini did that.
No way. Yeah, so I think it's a thing, okay
right now, So now I'm wanting to try it, not
because of Kelsey, but it looks cute. It look does
(06:05):
on Kelsey and then it looks cute on you. So yes,
because of y'all, I do want to try it. But
you just literally each finger is a different color, and
you did what like pink, yellow, green blue?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
This is orange yellow, yeah, green blue and purple. But
the crazy thing is picking out colors that all would go.
The last time I did this, my hands look like
an Easter egg, and I wanted this to be like summary.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I don't know if I hit the mark. I think
you hit the mark and whatever Kelsey had, she hit
the mark. I wish I knew exactly what the colors
were called. I have nothing on my fingers and nothing
on my toes right now. I'm just natural, which feels good.
But my summer go to is normally funny bunny, which
is just that whiteish, so it's not very beauty. And
(06:52):
then my fall color is like a brown or a black. Okay,
so I mean to spice things.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
You had a moment where you were doing like very simple,
fun designs, but then you got that then you get
like a crack in your hand or something an infection.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, nails are expensive. I don't That's not how I
want to spend money, but I know that that's your thing,
like you like spending money on that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Well, and if I don't have my nails done, they'll
be gone. This helps me not, which is funny because
I've had this whole journey of stop picking my nails.
But it used to really help me not rip all
my nails off because I spent money on them.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
That makes me think of you know, we talked about
that game last week Do you really know your family?
And when I was playing it with the kids, I said,
what is my weirdest habit? And they both go pulling
out hair and yours would be picking at your nails
or which weird. I feel like a lot of people
do that. I rip my hair out too.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I have one spot where it's either bald or the
hair is really short, and Patrick will slap my hand
if I'm doing it, while I'll just do it or
watch TV that it feels it's satisfying.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
It's no good. I know. I don't think I'm ever
going to be able to stop. I just love it
because that is my different hobbies. Yeah, we need a
different hobby. I do have an email from someone that
I think will be relatable to you, Kat, because of PCOS,
which you've been vocal about having. It's from Brenna and
she said, hey, Amy and Kat. I love listening to
(08:18):
the Fifth Thing and feel like I'm just sitting down
to a conversation with friends every time I listen Boom.
That's the goal. Amy, I have appreciated your honesty about
your fertility journey. I was diagnosed with PCOS in July
twenty twenty two after struggling to get pregnant for several months.
My ob tried several medications prior to giving me a
fertility specialist. I was recommended to take clomid, but after
(08:41):
hearing how much you struggled when taking it, I ultimately
decided it wasn't going to be for me. I'll insert
myself here real quick. Everybody responds differently to medication. So
if I have spoken negatively about my experience with clovid,
what was it, CALLO made clumd. You can find clovied
and Covid, cleomid with clomid, it's because I did have
(09:04):
a negative experience, like it was horrible, But other people
had great experience, So I wouldn't rule anything out based
on what anybody else says, because our body are so different.
But obviously, she said, thankfully, my doctors listened to me
and I tried some other options. I'm happy to announce
that I'm now almost five months pregnant with a sweet
(09:24):
baby girl. After going to a fertility specialist every appointment
I had I was wearing my Choose Joy T shirt,
and it reminded me that although I was going through
a very tough and difficult time, that I could still
choose Joy. I love the entire shot forward and all
the Pimp and Joy stuff too. Thank you for always
being honest about what you've struggled with or dealing with
(09:46):
your friend, Brenna. She said, PS. I live in Carrie,
North Carolina, and I checked out your friend's shop, The
mocking Bird on Broad and Southern Pines, and it is
so cute. I got a great pair of earrings there,
which didn't you order earrings from me? I ordered some
cute like beaded heart ones.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I also bought some stuff from there and sent it
to my uncle when he had a heart attack. I
bought him that the meditation book, The Funny One, the
Bad Word One. Yeah. I can't wanted to say it,
but I can't.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I sent Lisa a birthday present from there, and it's
a coffee mug that says what the and then it
says a bad word Yeah, but in parentheses it's like no, seriously.
I just thought it would make Lisa laugh because she's
had a very interesting year where it's like, what the Yeah,
this is crazy. So I ordered that too from The Mockingbird,
(10:31):
So shout out Sundy, my friend that owns it. But
back to Brenna's email, I am so excited to hear
that you were successful in getting pregnant. That's very, very,
very exciting. But I would imagine that a lot of
people listening either have been on the fertility journey like
I was, and I went to multiple fertility doctors and
(10:52):
was never able to get pregnant and then went the
route of adoption and that was ended up being a
beautiful thing for us. And so now I can see
the why, like why that happened for us? What does
this make possible? What was made possible from that? But
I still think of people that are on that journey,
adoption may not be something that they feel called to
(11:12):
do and they still want to get pregnant, or or
they even just have PCOS and they're not even thinking
about getting pregnant. But I'm not as familiar. I don't
have PCOS, So I just didn't know if you wanted
to speak to that quickly to encourage, because I know
a lot of women out there do have it.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
I don't know if it's just more common now, or
more people are talking about it, or more people are
being diagnosed in and a lot of people have had
it their whole lives. But what's interesting is my mom
has it, my sister has it, and we all have it.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
My mom had four kids without any problems.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
My sister she did the whole CLOMEDE did IOI and
now she did I IVF and.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
She had a baby boy.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
And I've never tried to get pregnant, so I have
no idea how it's going to affect me. But I'm
glad people are talking about it more because it's something
that we didn't do anything to get it. It's just
something we have. And I think a lot of times
the infertility stuff can feel like there's something wrong with
me and like what did I do? And a lot
of people can blame themselves of I should have been
more careful about this, or I should have been more
(12:13):
careful about this, But you don't do anything to get that.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Oh man, I went down a deep rabbit hole of
things that I started to unpack because I just was
so confused by it that I started to go get
those colonics. Remember, yeah, I haven't cut one of those
in quite some time. But I was eating a certain
way and that fed into my disordered eating because I thought,
now I have an excuse to be very picky with food,
(12:49):
because it's like, oh, I'm trying to get pregnant, and
people like, oh that makes sense. Eat as little as
you want or whatever, or eat only these five foods.
Sounds great because you're trying to get pregnant. So I
use that as an excuse. But then also so I
had heard, okay, if I get colonics, that might help,
like get my bot. I don't even know why, quite honestly,
but when I went to go get colonix, I was
(13:09):
living in North Carolina at the time, and the woman
I didn't even know her, just made an appointment, went
and then she was I told her that I was
trying to have kids, and she said, oh my gosh,
stop using dryer sheets. That's causing fertility issues, which who knows,
I don't know. So I stopped using dryer sheets. And
then she tells me that the kim lines or whatever
those are called, you know, from airplanes, the line in
the sky. I forget the exact name of what people
(13:31):
call them, but kim trails is the conspiracy, and she
was telling me that those are poisoning our crops. And
then obviously I was married to Ben at the time
and he's a was a pilot Air Force and I'm like,
what are those trails? And he explained to me exactly
what they are, but I was like, I don't know.
They're poisoning us and making us They're causing fertility issues
(13:52):
so that we can't populate. That's what like, you know,
hang all the planes down. You just start to look
there has to be a reason why this is happening.
And I just went down this whole thing where I
was eliminating all these things for my life because I
was convinced by someone that they were causing the problem.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Well, the interesting thing is PTOs affects a lot more
than your fertility. There's a lot of side effects that
bump up against what women are supposed to be and
feel and do, and so I'm not going to get
into all of that, but when it comes to the
fertility stuff, it's interesting to me because and this is
for somebody who doesn't even have pcos, it could anybody
who struggles with with fertility, or or just somebody who
(14:33):
doesn't want to get pregnant. Is it's been postured as
this thing that women are all supposed to do and
it's just supposed to come naturally, and you're supposed to
want to do it, And there's so much wrapped up
in it that I think it hits us. And maybe
it's different when you're the one experiencing, but it hits different,
Like it affects so many things. When you can't get pregnant,
(14:53):
it's well, this is this one thing that I've been
put on this earth to populate, and this is my
right and this is my and then you can't do it.
There's so much wrapped up in that and our identities.
I don't know if that's something you struggled with.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Well, I think a bin struggled with it too. It
wasn't just you me, there was as a man there was,
which he got tested too. We couldn't really figure out
what was going on, but he felt that one hundred percent. Yeah,
So I think it's it's both yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
What does that mean? Like, I think this goes back
to you saying I was able to adopt. And what
does this make possible is sometimes there's so many scripts
that are that are written and that we abide by naturally,
just because we live in this world about a family
and what it's supposed to look like and what it
brings you and all this thing, and there's nothing better
than being a mom, There's nothing better than being a dad.
(15:43):
There's nothing better than having a family and American dream.
And so when we aren't able to have that or
it doesn't work out the way that like the books
are written in our society, it does cause a lot
of discomfort and pain and insecurity when it could just
be this is not supposed to be the journey for you,
And that doesn't mean you're gonna have a less than life, right, No.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
It is not even just with kids. That could be
like anything. Choosing to be single.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Yeah, yes, yeah, yes, I think that is such a
big one that people think. And this is something that
I struggled with a lot, because I got engaged a
couple months ago. I didn't ever, I didn't know when
that was going to happen or if it was going
to happen.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
And people are looked at like, oh.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I'm sorry, like you don't have what you really want
or what you really need or what you're supposed to
have yet and it's well, I really liked my life.
I really liked my life, and a lot of people
are choose to not be in relationships and it doesn't
mean they're not having as good of an experience they
could have.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
No, that's good encourage. Yeah, because there's just like so
many things that are put into us at a young
age and they just live within us, and we think
sort of like blue is for boys and pink is
for girls, which, way, way, way, way way back in
the day pink was popular for boys. Really, don't ask
me the time frame. Look up, that's so interesting. Was
(17:07):
pink popular for boys? How do you even know that?
I don't know. Oh, okay, about eighteen forty. Wait, that's
not that long ago. Okay, here we go. It was
in the nineteen forties. Those babies were the first to
be dressed in sex specific clothing that Americans are familiar
(17:31):
with today, boys in blue and girls in pink. Huh,
So here we go. I mean that's just one example. Now,
we think that a lot of times when I'm getting
anything for the kids, that's just naturally how I decide
how I'm going to tell something apart for them getting
them new toothbrushes, or something. Well, I'll get stufh share
of the pink, and Steven's in the blue meanwhile, to
(17:54):
share his color. Favorite color right now is navy blue,
so I should have gotten her blue, but she also
likes pink, but she just put She picked out her
bedding for her dad's house and she wanted all navy blue. Interesting,
I know it looks really good, like maybe blue and white.
That's her And then she met a papa pink. She
got these lamps from pottery Barnteen, which I've never shopped there,
(18:17):
but we found these lamps like on major sale and
they're so cute and they're pink pink ish.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Yeah, So I think that probably just what that does
speak to we should be asking ourselves what is it
that I really want and what is it that makes
me happy? Versus what is it that I'm told or
what is it that I should like or want? And
then when we even answer that question what is it
that I want? I think it would be helpful, like
(18:43):
what part of me wants that? Like what is bringing
that up? Because if it's well, I want that because
then I'm going to fit in, or I want that
because so and so got it in they're happy, or
I want that because that person on TV had it. Well,
sometimes that makes sense and that's okay, and sometimes it's like,
but that's not really what I want.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
That's an awesome journaling prompt, the question you asked of
why is it that I want this or what part
of me wants it? And it may take you days
to work through or even weeks of journaling. But that's
the cool part about I think writing things down is
you can go back and read what you were writing
(19:21):
in the days before and see how it's evolved as
it starts to flow out of you. I got Stashira
a journal for the first time. It's pink. Okay, what
part of you got heard the pink journal? I take it?
She asked her a journal. Right when I said that,
(19:43):
I was like, Cat's about to ask you for color,
and I'm gonna have to say pink. But to be fair,
was at the drug store or pharmacy? Do you say
pharmacy or drug store? Like if you're talking about Walgreens,
I would never say either. I would say about Walgreens. Okay,
all right? Well, so I was at actually is at CBS,
and they only had a few journals to choose from.
(20:05):
But she had just said she wanted one, and I
was there and I was thinking about it, and I
didn't want to forget, so I was like, well, I'm
going to get this one. And Pink was the prettiest,
so that's probably why I got it. But I'm sure
subconsciously I was like, she's a girl, she'll love it.
So I'm excited to see how she puts it to use,
because I was telling her how therapeutic it has been
(20:26):
for me, and that I was never a journaler and
didn't write until we started doing the Four Things Gratitude journals.
That was the beginning of journaling for me, and so
I still do the four Things Gratitude journals. But then
I have a journal that I just free flow in.
And sometimes, honestly, I free flow in the Gratitude Journal
even though it's four things. I'll just kind of flow.
(20:47):
Who cares how you use it? It's all paper. But
I have another specific journal that is just free flow.
Did you have a journal as a kid? I had
a little teeny tiny diary. It's actually downstairs. I didn't
use it much, but you can go. I want to
look and see the things I would write about revotting.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I had two journals or diaries as a kid, but
they were one was all had prompts and it's all
about like the crush I had in fifth grade and
it's really funny to look at. But the other one,
I had one of those black light journals. You guess
you're looking at me like I'm crazy.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Well, I didn't have one, but that's pretty awesome, like
Stevenson would love that. So you get to write it
a special yeah, yeah, yeah. And unless you have the light,
you can't read it.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
So even if you stole my journal, you wouldn't be
able to read what I wrote about you.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
And I was mad at you, like if my mom
stile it. Yeah, I know my diary had a lock
as a kid, but I don't think it's locked. I
know I didn't write much in it at all. I
had this one boyfriend who my mom kept my diary
whatever in her kitchen table like our where we would
eat breakfasts and stuff had down below like two hidden
(21:49):
doors and you could store stuff in it. Isn't that weird?
And you would open it up and that's where my
mom kept my diary. So one of my boyfriends was
visiting once in college at my mom's and he opened
it up one of the books that I had in there.
I will have to go downstairs and look and see
which one it is. And he wrote in there to
whatever loser is with Amy. Now, if you're reading this,
(22:10):
I must be dead or some because basically that means
we would have broken up. And so we broke up,
but he didn't die a lot. Interesting. Interesting, But you
let your boyfriend read your dad. I'm telling you, there
was not much there. It's like Amy was here nineteen
(22:31):
ninety four. Wu z Yeah, yeah, Amy. Plus you know
Christie equals sisters Like it wasn't okay. Maybe I don't
want to read it. That's why I wasn't a journal er.
I didn't know how to. But I wish that I
had had that tool as a teenager. I think it
would have helped me process. So I say all this, so,
whether you're sixteen, fourteen, twenty five, sixty five, listening to this.
(22:57):
Journaling has been such a gift for me the last
several years. Such a gift, and it's evolved, it's changed.
I now look forward to it. It's pretty much part
of my daily practice. I will journal most every day
if I don't, it's odd and it's nothing overwhelming. You
can do one page, or you can set a timer
(23:17):
for three minutes, or you can set a timer for
five or Ali Fallon once made me set a timer
for twenty and she said, twenty journal for twenty minutes,
four days in a row, and it'll change your life.
So I did it, and I don't know. I mean,
I still enjoy I like it. I mean, I think
at the moment, I remember it feeling really really good.
But she said it'll change you, like internally, it's doing
(23:38):
something to your health, like you may not even really
know that it's changing you. Did your hand start a cramp? No,
I'm not like writing like super fast or gripping really hard.
But maybe that's my problem.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I feel like my hand always cramps when I start to,
like write a letter to somebody.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
I want to start doing more handwritten letters. Yeah, I
made that a goal a couple years ago, and I
never wrote one. No, I wrote one. Are y'all going
to do handwritten thank you cards for your What was
that thing you sent me the other day? Was that
for the wedding or just for you?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I got so many texts back that were like, is
this spam or is this a virus?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
It's for the wedding. I never thought of that. You
didn't think that, And I filled it out.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Because it is kind of sketchy. It's like, hey, fill
this out. Here's a link, but it does have my
name in it, and I'm sending it to you. It's
a website where you can have an online address book.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
It's for the wedding, so I can givebody's addresses. But
now I have.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Everybody's addresses and birthdays and it shows me why I
log on there.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Oh, so many's birthdays coming up.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
You should send them a card, which this is what
people had in the olden days. My grandma had an
address book with everybody's birthday so you would always know
who to send what to.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
And we don't have this anymore. I learned about because
I'm someone with ADHD that like, I was not great
at keeping up with birthdays, like or just the because
that takes organization and planning and sitting down and being
you know, which I think inside of me, I had
the desire to be thoughtful and intentional, but then planning
(25:06):
all of that seemed overwhelming. So I was like, I'll
just wing it, and then I wing it and I forget.
So I have been adding things to my calendar, slowly
but surely, and I think I have most people added,
so it pops up. And I've gotten a lot better
at remembering and making that a priority because I want
to remember. And what was I going to say about that?
(25:29):
Do you have my birthday?
Speaker 2 (25:30):
There?
Speaker 1 (25:31):
ADHD's kicking in December fourth? I have that my brain.
I don't even need it in my calendar. How do
you remember that? I don't know when's mine? March seventeenth? Oh, ageen, No, hey,
blame your ADHD.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Okay, that's my ADHD. Well, I don't have it in
my calendar. I actually might have it in my calendar. Well,
I have it on my online address book. Now you
should get one. But then people are going to be like, oh,
what part are you inviting me to?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Okay, I'm trying to think where my brain was going.
I was that, but I think it was just that
I appreciated what you've sent, and I thought I thought
you were using it for your wedding. But I was like, well,
what if she's not. This is brilliant because this is
how you can gather information from people. So I'm sure
you could use it even if you're not getting married. Yeah,
(26:17):
as a way to collect and somebody asked me if
I was collecting. I sent it to a therapist friend
and she was like, oh, this is such a great idea.
Is this so you can keep all of your referral
sources organized? And I was like, no, but I can now. Yeah. Well,
so what's it called postable?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Okay, yeah, I'm sure there's a million websites that do it,
but that was the one that popped up.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
So it's postable dot com. Oh so you have cards
to choose from here and write. If you go to
postable dot com, you click on get addresses or something.
I don't know. I'm going to look into this because
I feel like this is a great way to I organized.
Crazy that you've never gotten one of that's never never huh.
(26:58):
I was fascinated, But I'm not so now mad at
myself that I didn't think scam and that I quickly
tapped on it, because you can't quickly tap on anything
these days, even if it is from your friend, because
what if you got hacked or.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
They well, yeah, because people's facebooks get hacked all the time.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I got a text from my bank the other day,
except for it wasn't really my bank, which I don't
know if the scammers knew that was my bank or
if it was just coincidence. But it looked like I
was getting a text from Truest, which I don't have
Truest saved in my phone, but it came up as Truest.
But I know that's my bank, So I'm thinking, do
I have that saved in my phone? And then when
I but when I click on the contact and I
(27:37):
go to it, there is nothing. There's no number, there's
no nothing. I don't know how they're doing it. They
sent a text. I posted about it on Instagram. Okay,
so right here, see how it says Truest. Like right here,
it says cousin Amanda ben iPhone Truest. Click on that
and it says Verify activity two hundred and fifty five
(27:57):
dollars and thirty seven cents was purchased at time Target
in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, on seven six. That's the reply.
Why if you recognize no use code da da da,
And it's like a link that you click. But the
crazy part about this is that is my bank and
the day that I got this. I had placed a
target order, but not in Oklahoma. Not in Oklahoma. But
(28:21):
I thought our scammers getting this sophisticated where they know
certain things that I'm doing, so they know that I'm
more susceptible in that moment, because I actually kind of thought, shoot, Oklahoma,
did I because of an online order? And so I'm like,
did they have like a warehouse facility in Oklahoma that
just you know, yeah, Like you have these thoughts that
make me think this might be legit. So I'm going
(28:43):
to click on it. But because I don't click too
fast except for your postable link, I paused and I
was like, this is a total scam, but it looks
so legit. But what made it feel even more legit
was the bank and the fact that I had just
placed an order. So either that is a big fat
coincidence or they are getting that sophisticated.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
That is crazy that they can show up the name
as the crazy I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
And there's no number, Okay, there's no phone. I'm clicking
on truest and then when I go to contact, if
I click trust to get more info, there's nothing. You
can't call that number. There's not even a number. See
it's blank. I don't like this. I know the future
is getting you have anything positive to end on, have
the day you need that is positive. You're saving people
from being scammed getting scammed. So Kat, where can people
(29:31):
find you?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
On Instagram at at Kat dot defada and at you
Need Therapy podcast.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Boom and I am at Radio Amy on Instagram and
you can hit up Radioamy dot com for more things
and we will or I will see you Thursday for
four things and Kat will be back next Tuesday for
the fifth thing. Bye bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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