August 1, 2023 • 29 mins
Do you try to hold it together when what you really need is to fall apart? Kat showed up to Amy’s house in tears and she almost didn’t allow herself to show up that way. And that’s where today’s quote from Ally Fallon comes into play: “Things that want to hold together hold together. Things that want to fall apart fall apart.”
What is something that you thought was weird that only you dealt with, but later you found out you’re not alone and others deal with it too? Amy & Kat share some of their things and their face shaving tips!
There has been some controversy around the Barbie movie, so Kat & Amy shared their thoughts and Kat even did an entire ‘You Need Therapy’ podcast episode about it. Click HERE to listen to that!
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Defatta // @Kat.Defatta // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat And today's quote actually comes from a friend
of ours, Allie Fallon. She's been on the podcast before.
She has her own podcast called Write Your Story. She
puts out an episode a week. There's a lot of
really good content right now on her Instagram page two,
so I encourage you to check that out. But the
quote is things that want to hold together hold together.
(00:27):
Things that want to fall apart fall apart. And it's
so simple, but I love it.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I also love that I'm thinking, well, what if I
try to hold together something that I want to hold
together but then it falls apart?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Anyway, Well, I mean sometimes we're trying to write but
then it falls apart. And so she said what Ali said,
which her handle is all y FA l l O
N so Ali with a Y. She said, I spent
most of the first half of my life fighting for
what I wanted, for what was rightfully mine, for what
I thought was There's a lot of value in that.
(01:02):
And now I feel like my lesson is to let
things that want to fall apart just fall apart, not
just the toxic things, not just the outgrown things, not
just the things that aren't serving me, but anything that
wants to fall apart. Trying to hold things together that
are trying to fall apart has only ever made me tired. Ps.
(01:23):
I'm sure there are cases where you could disagree with
this sentiment. Not trying to universalize my experience, just sharing
what's bringing me some relief slash good grief lately, which
to your point of like, yes, doesn't mean that this
is a blanket statement on all things, like because yeah,
maybe sometimes we can fight for it or fix it
(01:43):
or whatever. But I love that it's like she's not
even just talking about the bad things, like I think
of allowing ourselves to fall apart from time to time,
like having a breakdown, Like Kat and I cried together
earlier and it was fine.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I was actually when I was on the way over here.
It happened earlier. Today, I could feel myself wanting to
cry and I was like, no, don't do it. And
I remember like biting my lip. I do that when
I'm trying not to cry. Sometimes it's appropriate, like if
I'm in a session and I don't want to like
totally fall apart in a session with.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
A client, But I had the thought of just cry.
Just let yourself cry. It's okay.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
If you show up at Amy's house and your face
is puffy, why is that not okay?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
But I had this.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Moment of like, hold it together, hold it together, hold
it together, And that's actually perfect that you just read that. Yeah,
so fall apart all the.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
If it's you that needs to fall apart. But obviously
there's other things, like she mentioned, even like the toxics,
or there might be relationships, or there might be job circumstances.
You might need to let your kids fall apart from
time to time. I think too, even as a mom,
we try to like keep our kids together too, but
we need to encourage them to experience feeling things falling apart, right,
(02:51):
and we don't have to hold it together all the
dang time.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I also like that she put in the end of
like I'm not trying to universalize my experience, because that's
something that is everywhere. I feel like with anything somebody
puts out, it's very rarely all or nothing. This always
applies or this never applies. And for her to say like, hey,
it's okay if this sometimes doesn't apply. This is working
for me right now, and it's allowed to work for
(03:16):
somebody else as well. Doesn't mean you can never try
to make something work and also recognize when you might
be trying too hard.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I think it's sort of I was gonna say sad
or annoying, but good. I love that she put that,
But it's almost like you sort of these days have
to put a disclaimer, yeah, some things because you don't
want to get hit with like backlash for thinking one
way and being like, well that's not always the case
for everybody, and it's like, well, no kidding, but like
just take it for what it is, Like, if it's
(03:45):
for you, great, if it's what you needed to see,
which when I saw it, I needed to see it,
and I double tapped at heart yes, And if I
don't need to see it, then okay, it keeps scrolling,
keep scrolling. Okay, So you put up on your Instagram, Yeah,
a question box?
Speaker 4 (04:00):
You know.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Actually, now that you're talking about Ali Fallon, this may
have subconsciously come from a video of hers that I
was obsessed with that she put up talking about all
the things that she's been taught as a woman to
be embarrassed about that She's like, I don't understand why
I am embarrassed of these things. And so last week
I put a little question box up saying, what something
(04:23):
that you thought was really weird or only something that
you dealt with that you never talked about that felt
really embarrassing or shameful that later you found out is
so common.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Is there anything that comes to mind?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Well, I was thinking the first time I got like
a chin hair, and I remember somebody being on Oprah.
I can't remember, but she was a model of sorts,
but older, you know, not Cindy Crawford, but you know that. Yeah,
you know, I'm talking about like that age group. I
can't maybe it was Brinkley. Somebody had publicly on a
big platform talked about their chin hair. And while I
(05:00):
don't know them, I remember thinking, well, I don't want
to talk about this right now, and this feels really weird.
But if that supermodel had it, then it's okay. My
whiskers Okay, it still comes base.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Wait, I have one. I just have one.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I'm same.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Is it weird that I call it a whisker?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Okay, well I'm I haven't talked about this one yet,
So I have the one that comes out of my chin,
and I just have to pluck it everyone. I don't
know what hormonally makes it pop back up or when
there's no schedule, because it'll be missing for a long time.
And you would think if it was just if I
got rid of it, it would just grow right back. But
it's gotta be hormonal at some point. Yeah, it doesn't
just come back after I shave it or pluck it.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Wait, that's what mine is too, But I never thought
about that. I'm like, why, sometimes it's here and sometimes
it's not.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
What I learned today, the one I haven't talked about yet,
so this will be the first time. Okay, see this
part of like my in between my shoulder and my neck,
like right here, there's.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I see it. The MIC's in the way.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Well I think it might be there, is it? It
might be there because I feel like I feel it.
It's a random hair where it's not supposed to go
on your neck, like down my neck, but you know
you still have hair that kind of goes down to
a certain part of your neck. Well, this is even
lower where there's no hair, and then there's like my shoulder,
but then there's this one long hair it is. Oh no,
(06:19):
it's here now, So I'll go. When we get down,
I'm gonna go pluck that. But it's weird. I no
rhyme or reason of when it pops up or why.
I have to clearly be paying attention.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
And if you're not, what if you're just out about
your hair is just hanging out.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
I guess if I had my hair and a ponytail,
and I had on a tank top or something, and
I was in line at the grocery store, the person
behind me, I'd be like, huh, that's interesting. She has
a little random hair coming out of her shoulder and
not little like it's sort of long like a male hair, yeah,
but coming out of like that part of my neck.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
So there you go.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I surely I'm not alone in this.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I don't think you are.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But the one thing that can came up multiple times
on this that I related to was the like peach
fuzz hair on your face. And I have PCs, so
I had that. It wasn't like it was blonde like
not a lot. And I remember one time I heard
about this thing called derma planning, and so I went
like secretly to get a facial and I got it done,
(07:22):
and it changed my life for many reasons. But I
obviously didn't tell anybody because I was getting my face
professionally shaven. Is how you say that shaven not schoven,
shaved shaved?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Well, either way you can shave it. You shave it
yourself now now I can't, but because you can save
yourself a lot of money. But derma planning does go
I think like a deeper level, and there is something
to that, So I don't want to take away from
I'm sure there's estheticians that would give the rhyme or reason.
But if it's like the peach fuzz you're wanting to
just get rid of, I use a big razor and
that's what.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, but it's this was probably seven years ago.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Well, I remember in twenty thirteen or fourteen when I
admitted to shaving for the first time. It was a
big announcement. I was embarrassed. I thought, I have this
very taboo thing that I'm doing and then you announced
it and you realize a lot of people he's doing it.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Yeah, well how did you find out about it?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Kelly Velvet Edge, Kelly Gray.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
She's like, I have this secret, this beauty secret. It's like,
can we talk about this?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Because yes, there's a lot of people in town that
you just started seeing more and more of it. So
I think that was probably a popular time of like
people talking about it. But I did have a little
bit of shame. And then of course I announced it
on the Bobby Bone Show and they were like, Amy
shaves her face. And then my ex husband at the time,
he couldn't watch me shave. He's like, I can't. Yeah,
(08:34):
he's like I can't. Like it's he wasn't attracted to
me shaving in the mirror your.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Whisker, he can he watch you do that.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I don't know that I ever really your back hair
for you. No, no, I never told him about that.
He doesn't even know it's there, so well now we
might well I don't think he listens.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Somebody might tell him. Have you heard about Amy's back hair.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
It's one hair. Back hair sounds laurel.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Have you heard of Amy's singular back hair?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
No, in between neck and shoulder hair. It's not even
on my back, but it's like a back hair.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So your singular in between neck and shoulder back hair. Listen,
we're releasing shame, so it's okay.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yeah, like, and also, shave your face.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
It feels so shave whatever you need to shaw, shave.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Whatever, and you don't have to shave your face if
you don't want to. But it's just everything goes on smoother.
And what Carrie the National Beauty Girl would tell me too,
is that my products that I would put on would
absorb into my face better because you're getting rid of
the hair blocking it. And then also it's exfoliating when
you shave. I have to use a bit razor that
(09:43):
doesn't have the moisture strip.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Sometimes they have a little green or blue strip that's
got the aloe or whatever that breaks me out. I
have to use just a plain old disposable blue. They
sell them in a pack. You get it at probably Target,
the drug store, farm, see Walgreen, something like that. But
that's my favorite way to do it. I used to
use the tinkle raisers.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Those break me out.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
They do.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I don't know why, but I also so like they
like scratch me up or something.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I just realized, like, okay, tinkle raisers, they're great, and
they would mimic the derma planing. But then I was like,
I don't have time for this. The shaving so much faster,
but don't shave you fast because I have cut my
neck before.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Oh I cut right under my eye, you know that,
like the really, what do you call that? Thin skin
or delicate skin? Right under your eye? I was going
fast and I thought I was professional. Huge cut, gash
in my eye. Yeah, so big mistake.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Careful So you put up this question box and people
put the facial hair. We talked about that, and then
another common one you saw in there too was cellulite.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Oh yeah, which I know.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
We both watched Barbie and it was sort of the
first like ten or fifteen minutes of the film. I
remember thinking like, I don't know what direction this is
going back. I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
But I thought that too when they talked about you're
going to get cellul it, and I was like, this
is I knew it was going to be like this,
and I was like so upset.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
And then I mean it took a turn turned around
and I turned around real real fast. And I don't
want to spoil anything in case anybody hasn't seen it,
but it's so good. And I went with kids friends,
we all collectively liked it. America Ferrera stole the show,
especially with her monologue. It's so so kid that's so good.
(11:29):
And Kat did a whole episode called Barbiegate, Yeah, and
it came out last Wednesday, And I encourage you to
go to her podcast, which is called You Need Therapy,
because Cat's Therapist podcast doesn't replace therapy, but it's a
tool in your toolbox. But why did you want to
put out an episode regarding the Barbie movie?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well, one thing, I had no idea what the movie
was going to be about, because I didn't even watch
the trailer before I went.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
So I was pleasantly surprised at first.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Was I was ready to be upset by it because
I was thinking Barbie, I mean, she's caused.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
So many issues for our own view of our bodies.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Why I think in the first fifteen minutes you and
I both probably had similar thoughts about why are they
going to make everybody in here that has feel bad
about their cellular right now?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
But what happened also, I noticed in the movie as
those kind of scenes started coming up, everybody was laughing.
It wasn't just funny, it was that like, this is
funny because it's true. And then it was almost this
like oh.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Like a sigh after because we're laughing because it's true.
And also we don't like it.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
So I had this experience of feeling incredibly understood, validated,
and not alone, mostly because I was in this theater
of ninety percent women. And so I left the movie
feeling so good for lack of a better word, and
then as soon as I get on the internet.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
It was like war started.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
It was people yelling at each other over this movie,
these like incredibly polarizing views of it.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Ted Cruz was chiming in Oh my, that one made
me laugh so hard, and then the one it was
also it was funny because like all these people were like,
we're boycotting Disney, and I'm like, this isn't a Disney movie,
but okay.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
And it was as if people were kind of like me.
I was ready to be mad at the movie.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
But then I sat there and I will say, I
feel like I was confronted with some things that I
probably need to work on in that movie.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Same and I was.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Like, but then when you go on the internet, like
you said, when you get home after seeing what you
saw in that movie, and it's like, also like, oh,
this is really how it is. It is so like
we seeing that reaction on the internet. It's it's like, oh,
this track's right, Like I'm you're proving shocked by this,
(13:49):
but at the same time, I'm totally not shocked by
this because this is coming from a place of fear. Oh,
Ted or whoever else Ted doesn't want his you know,
dojo Mojo so kojo ka Caasa house to be taken
away by.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
A woman, you know, I said, even.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Though his comment was about China, I don't even know.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
But that's what That's the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Like, there are some things that were so bizarre, and
I didn't want to be quick to respond to anything
because I was trying to take it in. But when
I say I was confronted by some things, I felt
a lot of compassion for myself and understanding, but I
also felt a lot of like a little shame, a
little like, oh, I need to work on that, some guilt.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I need to like do some digging on that.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
But I'm somebody who considers myself a human who is
able to access emotions, and part of that is because
I'm a woman and it's okay for women to do that.
So anyway, this is a long winded story for me
to explain. Me doing this episode was really not to
talk about patriarchy and this part of the movie and
that part of the movie and women empowerment. It was
(14:52):
to talk about the fact that there is a disconnect
with us being able to access what this movie is
brought up. Because you just named fear like it sounds
like that person is really afraid.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And I don't know some of these people, that's just
my assumption.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
But what we do know about men is that they
aren't allowed to It's not safe for them to have feelings.
So to protect those feelings of whatever they are, I
pump myself up and start pushing out all of this
very defensive language or propaganda or content. But if we
just sat in a room and we didn't even talk
(15:28):
about the content of the movie. You talked about your
feelings and those other people talked about theirs, the conversation
would be so different. I can understand how a guy
might be hurt by that movie. I totally get that.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Well.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
If I'm coming from a.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Place where I felt so understood and validated, that is
breeding ground for one of the most probably productive conversations ever,
because we're talking about what that brought up, not the
vessel in which got us to feel.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
That I want to clarify its mojo dojo Casa house,
because I I.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Just dojo mojo.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
It's mojo dojo. But totally it's like the Internet is
totally the safe space to just throw that stuff out there.
And the fear part for the men. I don't know
why I just keep bringing up Ted Cruz, but because
he's real loud, and he's loud, he can fire off stuff,
and he's been conditioned in the way he is just
like in the movie. The men are conditioned just like
(16:24):
the women are conditioned. So they're uncomfortable because of the conditioning. Yes,
and we're like, oh wait, this is how it because
of our conditioning. And so I can say too from
my background and how I grew up and how I
was in my twenties, I use the word fear because
I think I would have been one of those moms,
(16:45):
because there are moms in there like don't take your
kids to see Barbie and this is it's this, this
is And it's like, I think that's coming from a
place of fear too, because you don't want to change
the game, like you think that this is how it's
supposed to be, and this is how we've conditioned it
be because when I was twenty, I was like, Okay, yes,
men are in charge. I am submissive like all the things.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
So it's challenging how the world has functioned. And this
is so funny because it's a theme of the movie,
but you're talking about fear of change, Like what if
this challenge is the way that we've known how to
be safe in the world and we don't want that,
so then we're going to push all this defense out
there and keep people from that when really like we
have to change, right.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
It's almost like people that still don't want women leading
in a church. Yeah, and then there are like big
time church leaders that were not allowing women to serve,
and then they've done some inner work, they've evolved, they've
researched it, and they've been like, you know what, I
was wrong, and I think women should be able to
do X Y Z in the church and we have
(17:50):
and then people turn against them. And these are some
of the most top like most respected, Like from that
one thing, they were respected and then they suddenly say
women should have this type of can have this type
of role or should I was wrong and then people
fear that change when they respected that person five seconds
before they said it. I was that person. I'm telling you,
in my twenties, that was me, And if Barbie had
(18:12):
come out then I probably would have not seen it. Yeah,
but I don't know judgment. I have compassion for myself,
and I have compassion for anybody else listening that maybe
you posted that, or you haven't gone to see it
because of that, or you're not going to let your
kids see it. I guess I need to be a
little more compassionate with my words right now and say
I would just encourage you to dig a little deeper
(18:34):
to see why you wouldn't want to go see a funny,
empowering and lightning, thought provoking, silly movie about a Barbie doll.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
It's all of it.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
And this has nothing to do with I know, like
we said, Ted Cruz and all that. I don't think
this has anything to do with politics at all. People
can make it that way, but they have.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
To make He's just a man that barks the loudest
and it's like a little oe.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Yeah yeah, But what it.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Has to do with is being open to challenge things.
You might come up with the same answer, but being open,
I think is a huge it's like underused.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
As a characteristic that.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Can actually cause a lot of good I had a
friend today over to record some episodes for You Need Therapy,
and she made a comment about how she was like,
I'm sure you deal with this because I worked with
eating dosort disorders. But she was like, it's so funny
how often you'll be sitting with the client and they'll
be like, I'm so fat. I had a friend today
(19:40):
over to record some episodes where you Need Therapy, and
she made a comment about how she was like, I'm
sure you deal with this because I worked with eating
disort disorders. But she was like, it's so funny how
often you'll be sitting with the client and they'll be
like I'm so fat, or they'll be like I lost
five pounds and like there is a response they are
thinking that you're gonna give that, and as a therapist,
(20:01):
we're like, what do you mean you're fat? That is
a thing that's in your body, but what do you
mean you are Can you explain that?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Do you feel heavy? Do you like? What do you
mean by that?
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Or when somebody's like I lost five pounds and we're
like okay, nothing, and they're like aren't you proud of me?
Speaker 3 (20:18):
And it's like, well, so how did that happen?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Like we challenge these things that are just naturally supposed
to be like fat is bad and when it's not
a feeling, but when we ask questions about things that
are not ever questioned, nobody questions that.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Well, it's like a in the monologue, it's like we
have to be thin but not too thin, and then
you know, it goes down the whole thing of like
we can't talk about how we want to be.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Thin, and so we just believe that this is the way.
And that was her point.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
She was like, we're just conditioned to believe these things,
but we never sit and really question why we believe
them or if they even make sense. So I think
this movie was just an opportunity to sit down and question,
not like that you're wrong for believing something, but like
ask yourself, like what is it that makes me believe this?
(21:07):
Does this make sense to me? And do I want
to keep it? And that freaks people out? That just
freaks people out.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Yeah, like I said, twenty you're something, you're old twenty
five to me, six year old me would have been
freaked out. And then I had an opportunity to evolve.
Some people will some people won't, and that is totally
up to you, and I respect that. Like I feel
like I was a little aggressive of a minute ago
with like to h but it's just because I guess
I've been there and I'm on a different side, and
(21:34):
so I just want to like sometimes be like, yes,
like you said, we could all get in a room
and we could sit down and be like, let's get
to the root of this. And the part from the
monologue is you have to be thin but not too thin,
and you can never say you want to be thin.
You have to say you want to be healthy, but
also you have to be thin.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Like which what this is making sense? But I think
I wonder you.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Have to have money, but you can't ask for money
because that's crass, right.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
None of it makes sense.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
But I wonder if the reason you got like about
that is and we're never perfect in this. I have
worked really hard to be able to sit with difference,
which I haven't always been really good at. I've been
the kind of person who has to like jump down
somebody's throat because they believe something that I think is wrong.
But I have learned through a lot of difficult challenging
myself and work that I can sit with difference among
(22:20):
other people, and that is not something that our culture knows.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
How to do well, especially on the Internet.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Yeah, and that's nobody's individual fault. That's a collective issue.
I think we all have to work on anyway.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
So Barbiegade, I am kinough.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Oh my gosh, I saw that, and I was like,
this is gonna be golden merch opportunity.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
And you actually can biny that sweatshirt.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Oh yeah, I just googled it. There's about a million
options on Etsy.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Oh really, I wonder if that's like a trademark infringement
kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I don't know, Barbie is Mattel, but like who made
the movie? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Warner Brothers just cant help.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
It's I think it's Brothers, I know. Just funny that
it's like it's not everyone's like, ooh, boycotting Disney.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Like we didn't do anything not this time.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
And I was telling Kat, I don't know if there's
a therapy Barbie, but there should be a therapy Barbie.
Because I didn't just hear it from you. I heard
it from other people that like and you, but I
think I can say this correct me if I'm wrong,
but that in therapy sessions the week after Barbie came out,
it was a hot topic on the couch. Oh yeah,
like amongst clients.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yes, on both sides, but it is yeah. I'm like,
I pull up my little doll, like here, take this
with you.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Did you leave every client that walked out? You are enough?
Kenough can you haven't seen the movie. You have to
see it to get it. But there's they're like, what
are you talking about? Some shows up with the sweatshirt.
That's like, I am can enough. I don't want to
give anything in a way. You have to see the movie.
But it's hilarious when they come to the real world
and Kent's like gathering books and reading and he's like,
(23:56):
oh oh, like this is ow and that part was
so comical. But it was like, oh my gosh, like
that's the part that's funny but true.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yeah, that he was Brian Gosling was so funny. What
do you give it?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Out of five? Five out of five?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Uh, four point yes, four point five because I could
have totally done without the huge song and dance at
the end with with the kens they could have made
that five minutes shorter.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
I just needed it to be over. Yeah, that was fine.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
But then I said that to other people and they're like, oh,
that was one. I love that part. It was of
my favorite parts.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
But they're like, they like the La La Land stuff.
Do you watch that movie La La Land?
Speaker 3 (24:34):
Uh? I never heard of that.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
That was a really popular movie, but I can't remember
what year it came out. But I didn't enjoy it,
so I guess it's not really.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Our You can sit with difference.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
You can sit with difference. You know What's so funny
that like literally just popped up on my computer as
a calendar reminder. It says take pictures of dolls, and
it's not Barbie dolls. But it's funny that we're talking
about Barbie because I collected Madame alexand Under dolls when
I was little. I never really played with Barbie. My
(25:03):
grandma started getting me these dolls and she would give
them to me for Christmas and for my birthday. And
they were in fancy dresses or sometimes other outfits. Some
are little, some are bigger, and they lined the perimeter
of my room. My dad built a shelf, and they
were all around.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
You know what you're describing what the scene of like
a horror movie?
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Did you just google that?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
In all?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Are they creepy to you?
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah? When I opened up the box. So here's what happened.
In nineteen ninety nine, my mom sold our house, the
house I'd lived in my entire life. So I went
off to college and then she finally sold our house
and it was like, oh, I remember it being so sad,
but she boxed up everything. And the reason why I
remember this now being nineteen ninety nine is because well,
(25:48):
first of all, I was going off to college, but
second of all, my mom's friend just shipped me the
boxes because she was storing them in her storage thing
for my mom. Because there's a lot of boxes. And
the newspaper my mom stuck the boxes with was Austin
American Statesman nineteen ninety nine, and so that was cool
to like check the news. Yeah. Then when I opened
up the box. But my mom passed away in twenty fourteen.
(26:13):
But my mom's friend, for whatever reason, even though my
mom moved into a new place and could have stored
them herself, I guess it was just like, oh, well,
they're stored at Forrests. She sort of forgot about them,
we all did. And then I got a text message
from my mom's friend not too long ago, and she
was like, I have your Madam Alexander dolls that your
mom packed up years ago. But she's like, I'm going
(26:35):
to ship them to you. So she did and I
got them and they are worth money, so I want
to get them a praise, so I have to take
pictures of them.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I wonder if she got a little spooked when she
opened up the box.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Her No, she knew that on the outside. She never opened
to them. They were still boxed and taped up with
my mom's handwriting.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Well, if you are driving and you can't look up,
what the dolls look like? They look like the dolls
that would be in a thriller movie to scare people.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Did I already say I'll that my kids were scared
when yeah, Well, when I opened the box, Steven's oh
what is that doll? And then Stashira came buy She's
like creepy.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
And I'm like, what, that's what it is? Creepy.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
They're like yeah, And they didn't make me feel insecure
at all, like they were also like, they don't have
a perfect body, they don't look.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Like actual people, and I guess the barbie doesn't either.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Honestly, this doll would make me feel better about myself.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Well, I'm going to see what doctor Lorie says they
are worth. And someone called into the Bobby Bone Shoe
and said that they worked at Goodwill and some people
turned in some Madame Alexander dolls and they sent it
off to a different center because they thought these could
be worth something. And then they ended up selling for
like two thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Oh, I saw them on Etsy for like forty bucks.
So I guess it depends on what one you.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Got miner in the original boxes. Oh, except the boxes
are not in like tip top condition. But my mom
still I was pretty impressed. My mom kept the original boxes,
and I was like, wow, this kind of says a
lot about my mom, Like I'm not like that. I
get a I open it up, I throw away a box.
And she like kept each box for however many years,
because I probably started collecting them in the eighties, and
(28:07):
then she sold the house in ninety nine and she
reboxed them each in their own individual box and then
there's a ziplock bag in there with this little teeny
tiny black shoe that she must have realized later belonged
to someone in one of the boxes, and she didn't
want to go through and figure it out, so she
put it in a ziploc bag and she was like,
find who's foot this belongs to? And she just put
it in there, And I guess she figured one day
(28:29):
we'd unpack it, which was you did last week. Oh well,
good luck. Let me hope that they're worth a lot. Well,
there you go. If you have any dolls, doctor Lori,
you can google her. She can uppraise them again. Kat's
episode is Barbiegate was up last Wednesday. You need Therapies
her podcast and where else can people find you?
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Cat on Instagram at Kat dot defada.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
And you also have you Need Therapy podcast dot com
and at you Need Therapy on.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Instagram at you Need Therapy podcasts.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Oh yeah, dah yeah, okay, okay, I'm at radio Amy
and radio amy dot com is where you can buy
more info. And we hope you have the day that
you need to have. Bye bye
Speaker 4 (29:11):
H
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat And today's quote actually comes from a friend
of ours, Allie Fallon. She's been on the podcast before.
She has her own podcast called Write Your Story. She
puts out an episode a week. There's a lot of
really good content right now on her Instagram page two,
so I encourage you to check that out. But the
quote is things that want to hold together hold together.
(00:27):
Things that want to fall apart fall apart. And it's
so simple, but I love it.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I also love that I'm thinking, well, what if I
try to hold together something that I want to hold
together but then it falls apart?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Anyway, Well, I mean sometimes we're trying to write but
then it falls apart. And so she said what Ali said,
which her handle is all y FA l l O
N so Ali with a Y. She said, I spent
most of the first half of my life fighting for
what I wanted, for what was rightfully mine, for what
I thought was There's a lot of value in that.
(01:02):
And now I feel like my lesson is to let
things that want to fall apart just fall apart, not
just the toxic things, not just the outgrown things, not
just the things that aren't serving me, but anything that
wants to fall apart. Trying to hold things together that
are trying to fall apart has only ever made me tired. Ps.
(01:23):
I'm sure there are cases where you could disagree with
this sentiment. Not trying to universalize my experience, just sharing
what's bringing me some relief slash good grief lately, which
to your point of like, yes, doesn't mean that this
is a blanket statement on all things, like because yeah,
maybe sometimes we can fight for it or fix it
(01:43):
or whatever. But I love that it's like she's not
even just talking about the bad things, like I think
of allowing ourselves to fall apart from time to time,
like having a breakdown, Like Kat and I cried together
earlier and it was fine.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I was actually when I was on the way over here.
It happened earlier. Today, I could feel myself wanting to
cry and I was like, no, don't do it. And
I remember like biting my lip. I do that when
I'm trying not to cry. Sometimes it's appropriate, like if
I'm in a session and I don't want to like
totally fall apart in a session with.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
A client, But I had the thought of just cry.
Just let yourself cry. It's okay.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
If you show up at Amy's house and your face
is puffy, why is that not okay?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
But I had this.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Moment of like, hold it together, hold it together, hold
it together, And that's actually perfect that you just read that. Yeah,
so fall apart all the.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
If it's you that needs to fall apart. But obviously
there's other things, like she mentioned, even like the toxics,
or there might be relationships, or there might be job circumstances.
You might need to let your kids fall apart from
time to time. I think too, even as a mom,
we try to like keep our kids together too, but
we need to encourage them to experience feeling things falling apart, right,
(02:51):
and we don't have to hold it together all the
dang time.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I also like that she put in the end of
like I'm not trying to universalize my experience, because that's
something that is everywhere. I feel like with anything somebody
puts out, it's very rarely all or nothing. This always
applies or this never applies. And for her to say like, hey,
it's okay if this sometimes doesn't apply. This is working
for me right now, and it's allowed to work for
(03:16):
somebody else as well. Doesn't mean you can never try
to make something work and also recognize when you might
be trying too hard.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I think it's sort of I was gonna say sad
or annoying, but good. I love that she put that,
But it's almost like you sort of these days have
to put a disclaimer, yeah, some things because you don't
want to get hit with like backlash for thinking one
way and being like, well that's not always the case
for everybody, and it's like, well, no kidding, but like
just take it for what it is, Like, if it's
(03:45):
for you, great, if it's what you needed to see,
which when I saw it, I needed to see it,
and I double tapped at heart yes, And if I
don't need to see it, then okay, it keeps scrolling,
keep scrolling. Okay, So you put up on your Instagram, Yeah,
a question box?
Speaker 4 (04:00):
You know.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Actually, now that you're talking about Ali Fallon, this may
have subconsciously come from a video of hers that I
was obsessed with that she put up talking about all
the things that she's been taught as a woman to
be embarrassed about that She's like, I don't understand why
I am embarrassed of these things. And so last week
I put a little question box up saying, what something
(04:23):
that you thought was really weird or only something that
you dealt with that you never talked about that felt
really embarrassing or shameful that later you found out is
so common.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Is there anything that comes to mind?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Well, I was thinking the first time I got like
a chin hair, and I remember somebody being on Oprah.
I can't remember, but she was a model of sorts,
but older, you know, not Cindy Crawford, but you know that. Yeah,
you know, I'm talking about like that age group. I
can't maybe it was Brinkley. Somebody had publicly on a
big platform talked about their chin hair. And while I
(05:00):
don't know them, I remember thinking, well, I don't want
to talk about this right now, and this feels really weird.
But if that supermodel had it, then it's okay. My
whiskers Okay, it still comes base.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Wait, I have one. I just have one.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I'm same.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Is it weird that I call it a whisker?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Okay, well I'm I haven't talked about this one yet,
So I have the one that comes out of my chin,
and I just have to pluck it everyone. I don't
know what hormonally makes it pop back up or when
there's no schedule, because it'll be missing for a long time.
And you would think if it was just if I
got rid of it, it would just grow right back. But
it's gotta be hormonal at some point. Yeah, it doesn't
just come back after I shave it or pluck it.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Wait, that's what mine is too, But I never thought
about that. I'm like, why, sometimes it's here and sometimes
it's not.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
What I learned today, the one I haven't talked about yet,
so this will be the first time. Okay, see this
part of like my in between my shoulder and my neck,
like right here, there's.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I see it. The MIC's in the way.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Well I think it might be there, is it? It
might be there because I feel like I feel it.
It's a random hair where it's not supposed to go
on your neck, like down my neck, but you know
you still have hair that kind of goes down to
a certain part of your neck. Well, this is even
lower where there's no hair, and then there's like my shoulder,
but then there's this one long hair it is. Oh no,
(06:19):
it's here now, So I'll go. When we get down,
I'm gonna go pluck that. But it's weird. I no
rhyme or reason of when it pops up or why.
I have to clearly be paying attention.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
And if you're not, what if you're just out about
your hair is just hanging out.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
I guess if I had my hair and a ponytail,
and I had on a tank top or something, and
I was in line at the grocery store, the person
behind me, I'd be like, huh, that's interesting. She has
a little random hair coming out of her shoulder and
not little like it's sort of long like a male hair, yeah,
but coming out of like that part of my neck.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
So there you go.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I surely I'm not alone in this.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I don't think you are.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But the one thing that can came up multiple times
on this that I related to was the like peach
fuzz hair on your face. And I have PCs, so
I had that. It wasn't like it was blonde like
not a lot. And I remember one time I heard
about this thing called derma planning, and so I went
like secretly to get a facial and I got it done,
(07:22):
and it changed my life for many reasons. But I
obviously didn't tell anybody because I was getting my face
professionally shaven. Is how you say that shaven not schoven,
shaved shaved?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Well, either way you can shave it. You shave it
yourself now now I can't, but because you can save
yourself a lot of money. But derma planning does go
I think like a deeper level, and there is something
to that, So I don't want to take away from
I'm sure there's estheticians that would give the rhyme or reason.
But if it's like the peach fuzz you're wanting to
just get rid of, I use a big razor and
that's what.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, but it's this was probably seven years ago.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Well, I remember in twenty thirteen or fourteen when I
admitted to shaving for the first time. It was a
big announcement. I was embarrassed. I thought, I have this
very taboo thing that I'm doing and then you announced
it and you realize a lot of people he's doing it.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Yeah, well how did you find out about it?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Kelly Velvet Edge, Kelly Gray.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
She's like, I have this secret, this beauty secret. It's like,
can we talk about this?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Because yes, there's a lot of people in town that
you just started seeing more and more of it. So
I think that was probably a popular time of like
people talking about it. But I did have a little
bit of shame. And then of course I announced it
on the Bobby Bone Show and they were like, Amy
shaves her face. And then my ex husband at the time,
he couldn't watch me shave. He's like, I can't. Yeah,
(08:34):
he's like I can't. Like it's he wasn't attracted to
me shaving in the mirror your.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Whisker, he can he watch you do that.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I don't know that I ever really your back hair
for you. No, no, I never told him about that.
He doesn't even know it's there, so well now we
might well I don't think he listens.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Somebody might tell him. Have you heard about Amy's back hair.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
It's one hair. Back hair sounds laurel.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Have you heard of Amy's singular back hair?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
No, in between neck and shoulder hair. It's not even
on my back, but it's like a back hair.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So your singular in between neck and shoulder back hair. Listen,
we're releasing shame, so it's okay.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yeah, like, and also, shave your face.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
It feels so shave whatever you need to shaw, shave.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Whatever, and you don't have to shave your face if
you don't want to. But it's just everything goes on smoother.
And what Carrie the National Beauty Girl would tell me too,
is that my products that I would put on would
absorb into my face better because you're getting rid of
the hair blocking it. And then also it's exfoliating when
you shave. I have to use a bit razor that
(09:43):
doesn't have the moisture strip.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Sometimes they have a little green or blue strip that's
got the aloe or whatever that breaks me out. I
have to use just a plain old disposable blue. They
sell them in a pack. You get it at probably Target,
the drug store, farm, see Walgreen, something like that. But
that's my favorite way to do it. I used to
use the tinkle raisers.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Those break me out.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
They do.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I don't know why, but I also so like they
like scratch me up or something.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I just realized, like, okay, tinkle raisers, they're great, and
they would mimic the derma planing. But then I was like,
I don't have time for this. The shaving so much faster,
but don't shave you fast because I have cut my
neck before.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Oh I cut right under my eye, you know that,
like the really, what do you call that? Thin skin
or delicate skin? Right under your eye? I was going
fast and I thought I was professional. Huge cut, gash
in my eye. Yeah, so big mistake.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Careful So you put up this question box and people
put the facial hair. We talked about that, and then
another common one you saw in there too was cellulite.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Oh yeah, which I know.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
We both watched Barbie and it was sort of the
first like ten or fifteen minutes of the film. I
remember thinking like, I don't know what direction this is
going back. I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
But I thought that too when they talked about you're
going to get cellul it, and I was like, this
is I knew it was going to be like this,
and I was like so upset.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
And then I mean it took a turn turned around
and I turned around real real fast. And I don't
want to spoil anything in case anybody hasn't seen it,
but it's so good. And I went with kids friends,
we all collectively liked it. America Ferrera stole the show,
especially with her monologue. It's so so kid that's so good.
(11:29):
And Kat did a whole episode called Barbiegate, Yeah, and
it came out last Wednesday, And I encourage you to
go to her podcast, which is called You Need Therapy,
because Cat's Therapist podcast doesn't replace therapy, but it's a
tool in your toolbox. But why did you want to
put out an episode regarding the Barbie movie?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well, one thing, I had no idea what the movie
was going to be about, because I didn't even watch
the trailer before I went.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
So I was pleasantly surprised at first.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Was I was ready to be upset by it because
I was thinking Barbie, I mean, she's caused.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
So many issues for our own view of our bodies.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Why I think in the first fifteen minutes you and
I both probably had similar thoughts about why are they
going to make everybody in here that has feel bad
about their cellular right now?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
But what happened also, I noticed in the movie as
those kind of scenes started coming up, everybody was laughing.
It wasn't just funny, it was that like, this is
funny because it's true. And then it was almost this
like oh.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Like a sigh after because we're laughing because it's true.
And also we don't like it.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
So I had this experience of feeling incredibly understood, validated,
and not alone, mostly because I was in this theater
of ninety percent women. And so I left the movie
feeling so good for lack of a better word, and
then as soon as I get on the internet.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
It was like war started.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
It was people yelling at each other over this movie,
these like incredibly polarizing views of it.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Ted Cruz was chiming in Oh my, that one made
me laugh so hard, and then the one it was
also it was funny because like all these people were like,
we're boycotting Disney, and I'm like, this isn't a Disney movie,
but okay.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
And it was as if people were kind of like me.
I was ready to be mad at the movie.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
But then I sat there and I will say, I
feel like I was confronted with some things that I
probably need to work on in that movie.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Same and I was.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Like, but then when you go on the internet, like
you said, when you get home after seeing what you
saw in that movie, and it's like, also like, oh,
this is really how it is. It is so like
we seeing that reaction on the internet. It's it's like, oh,
this track's right, Like I'm you're proving shocked by this,
(13:49):
but at the same time, I'm totally not shocked by
this because this is coming from a place of fear. Oh,
Ted or whoever else Ted doesn't want his you know,
dojo Mojo so kojo ka Caasa house to be taken
away by.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
A woman, you know, I said, even.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Though his comment was about China, I don't even know.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
But that's what That's the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Like, there are some things that were so bizarre, and
I didn't want to be quick to respond to anything
because I was trying to take it in. But when
I say I was confronted by some things, I felt
a lot of compassion for myself and understanding, but I
also felt a lot of like a little shame, a
little like, oh, I need to work on that, some guilt.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I need to like do some digging on that.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
But I'm somebody who considers myself a human who is
able to access emotions, and part of that is because
I'm a woman and it's okay for women to do that.
So anyway, this is a long winded story for me
to explain. Me doing this episode was really not to
talk about patriarchy and this part of the movie and
that part of the movie and women empowerment. It was
(14:52):
to talk about the fact that there is a disconnect
with us being able to access what this movie is
brought up. Because you just named fear like it sounds
like that person is really afraid.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And I don't know some of these people, that's just
my assumption.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
But what we do know about men is that they
aren't allowed to It's not safe for them to have feelings.
So to protect those feelings of whatever they are, I
pump myself up and start pushing out all of this
very defensive language or propaganda or content. But if we
just sat in a room and we didn't even talk
(15:28):
about the content of the movie. You talked about your
feelings and those other people talked about theirs, the conversation
would be so different. I can understand how a guy
might be hurt by that movie. I totally get that.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Well.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
If I'm coming from a.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Place where I felt so understood and validated, that is
breeding ground for one of the most probably productive conversations ever,
because we're talking about what that brought up, not the
vessel in which got us to feel.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
That I want to clarify its mojo dojo Casa house,
because I I.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Just dojo mojo.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
It's mojo dojo. But totally it's like the Internet is
totally the safe space to just throw that stuff out there.
And the fear part for the men. I don't know
why I just keep bringing up Ted Cruz, but because
he's real loud, and he's loud, he can fire off stuff,
and he's been conditioned in the way he is just
like in the movie. The men are conditioned just like
(16:24):
the women are conditioned. So they're uncomfortable because of the conditioning. Yes,
and we're like, oh wait, this is how it because
of our conditioning. And so I can say too from
my background and how I grew up and how I
was in my twenties, I use the word fear because
I think I would have been one of those moms,
(16:45):
because there are moms in there like don't take your
kids to see Barbie and this is it's this, this
is And it's like, I think that's coming from a
place of fear too, because you don't want to change
the game, like you think that this is how it's
supposed to be, and this is how we've conditioned it
be because when I was twenty, I was like, Okay, yes,
men are in charge. I am submissive like all the things.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
So it's challenging how the world has functioned. And this
is so funny because it's a theme of the movie,
but you're talking about fear of change, Like what if
this challenge is the way that we've known how to
be safe in the world and we don't want that,
so then we're going to push all this defense out
there and keep people from that when really like we
have to change, right.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
It's almost like people that still don't want women leading
in a church. Yeah, and then there are like big
time church leaders that were not allowing women to serve,
and then they've done some inner work, they've evolved, they've
researched it, and they've been like, you know what, I
was wrong, and I think women should be able to
do X Y Z in the church and we have
(17:50):
and then people turn against them. And these are some
of the most top like most respected, Like from that
one thing, they were respected and then they suddenly say
women should have this type of can have this type
of role or should I was wrong and then people
fear that change when they respected that person five seconds
before they said it. I was that person. I'm telling you,
in my twenties, that was me, And if Barbie had
(18:12):
come out then I probably would have not seen it. Yeah,
but I don't know judgment. I have compassion for myself,
and I have compassion for anybody else listening that maybe
you posted that, or you haven't gone to see it
because of that, or you're not going to let your
kids see it. I guess I need to be a
little more compassionate with my words right now and say
I would just encourage you to dig a little deeper
(18:34):
to see why you wouldn't want to go see a funny,
empowering and lightning, thought provoking, silly movie about a Barbie doll.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
It's all of it.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
And this has nothing to do with I know, like
we said, Ted Cruz and all that. I don't think
this has anything to do with politics at all. People
can make it that way, but they have.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
To make He's just a man that barks the loudest
and it's like a little oe.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Yeah yeah, But what it.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Has to do with is being open to challenge things.
You might come up with the same answer, but being open,
I think is a huge it's like underused.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
As a characteristic that.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Can actually cause a lot of good I had a
friend today over to record some episodes for You Need Therapy,
and she made a comment about how she was like,
I'm sure you deal with this because I worked with
eating dosort disorders. But she was like, it's so funny
how often you'll be sitting with the client and they'll
be like, I'm so fat. I had a friend today
(19:40):
over to record some episodes where you Need Therapy, and
she made a comment about how she was like, I'm
sure you deal with this because I worked with eating
disort disorders. But she was like, it's so funny how
often you'll be sitting with the client and they'll be
like I'm so fat, or they'll be like I lost
five pounds and like there is a response they are
thinking that you're gonna give that, and as a therapist,
(20:01):
we're like, what do you mean you're fat? That is
a thing that's in your body, but what do you
mean you are Can you explain that?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Do you feel heavy? Do you like? What do you
mean by that?
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Or when somebody's like I lost five pounds and we're
like okay, nothing, and they're like aren't you proud of me?
Speaker 3 (20:18):
And it's like, well, so how did that happen?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Like we challenge these things that are just naturally supposed
to be like fat is bad and when it's not
a feeling, but when we ask questions about things that
are not ever questioned, nobody questions that.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Well, it's like a in the monologue, it's like we
have to be thin but not too thin, and then
you know, it goes down the whole thing of like
we can't talk about how we want to be.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Thin, and so we just believe that this is the way.
And that was her point.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
She was like, we're just conditioned to believe these things,
but we never sit and really question why we believe
them or if they even make sense. So I think
this movie was just an opportunity to sit down and question,
not like that you're wrong for believing something, but like
ask yourself, like what is it that makes me believe this?
(21:07):
Does this make sense to me? And do I want
to keep it? And that freaks people out? That just
freaks people out.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Yeah, like I said, twenty you're something, you're old twenty
five to me, six year old me would have been
freaked out. And then I had an opportunity to evolve.
Some people will some people won't, and that is totally
up to you, and I respect that. Like I feel
like I was a little aggressive of a minute ago
with like to h but it's just because I guess
I've been there and I'm on a different side, and
(21:34):
so I just want to like sometimes be like, yes,
like you said, we could all get in a room
and we could sit down and be like, let's get
to the root of this. And the part from the
monologue is you have to be thin but not too thin,
and you can never say you want to be thin.
You have to say you want to be healthy, but
also you have to be thin.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Like which what this is making sense? But I think
I wonder you.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Have to have money, but you can't ask for money
because that's crass, right.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
None of it makes sense.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
But I wonder if the reason you got like about
that is and we're never perfect in this. I have
worked really hard to be able to sit with difference,
which I haven't always been really good at. I've been
the kind of person who has to like jump down
somebody's throat because they believe something that I think is wrong.
But I have learned through a lot of difficult challenging
myself and work that I can sit with difference among
(22:20):
other people, and that is not something that our culture knows.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
How to do well, especially on the Internet.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Yeah, and that's nobody's individual fault. That's a collective issue.
I think we all have to work on anyway.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
So Barbiegade, I am kinough.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Oh my gosh, I saw that, and I was like,
this is gonna be golden merch opportunity.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
And you actually can biny that sweatshirt.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Oh yeah, I just googled it. There's about a million
options on Etsy.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Oh really, I wonder if that's like a trademark infringement
kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I don't know, Barbie is Mattel, but like who made
the movie? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Warner Brothers just cant help.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
It's I think it's Brothers, I know. Just funny that
it's like it's not everyone's like, ooh, boycotting Disney.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Like we didn't do anything not this time.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
And I was telling Kat, I don't know if there's
a therapy Barbie, but there should be a therapy Barbie.
Because I didn't just hear it from you. I heard
it from other people that like and you, but I
think I can say this correct me if I'm wrong,
but that in therapy sessions the week after Barbie came out,
it was a hot topic on the couch. Oh yeah,
like amongst clients.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yes, on both sides, but it is yeah. I'm like,
I pull up my little doll, like here, take this
with you.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Did you leave every client that walked out? You are enough?
Kenough can you haven't seen the movie. You have to
see it to get it. But there's they're like, what
are you talking about? Some shows up with the sweatshirt.
That's like, I am can enough. I don't want to
give anything in a way. You have to see the movie.
But it's hilarious when they come to the real world
and Kent's like gathering books and reading and he's like,
(23:56):
oh oh, like this is ow and that part was
so comical. But it was like, oh my gosh, like
that's the part that's funny but true.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yeah, that he was Brian Gosling was so funny. What
do you give it?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Out of five? Five out of five?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Uh, four point yes, four point five because I could
have totally done without the huge song and dance at
the end with with the kens they could have made
that five minutes shorter.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
I just needed it to be over. Yeah, that was fine.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
But then I said that to other people and they're like, oh,
that was one. I love that part. It was of
my favorite parts.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
But they're like, they like the La La Land stuff.
Do you watch that movie La La Land?
Speaker 3 (24:34):
Uh? I never heard of that.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
That was a really popular movie, but I can't remember
what year it came out. But I didn't enjoy it,
so I guess it's not really.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Our You can sit with difference.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
You can sit with difference. You know What's so funny
that like literally just popped up on my computer as
a calendar reminder. It says take pictures of dolls, and
it's not Barbie dolls. But it's funny that we're talking
about Barbie because I collected Madame alexand Under dolls when
I was little. I never really played with Barbie. My
(25:03):
grandma started getting me these dolls and she would give
them to me for Christmas and for my birthday. And
they were in fancy dresses or sometimes other outfits. Some
are little, some are bigger, and they lined the perimeter
of my room. My dad built a shelf, and they
were all around.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
You know what you're describing what the scene of like
a horror movie?
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Did you just google that?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
In all?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Are they creepy to you?
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah? When I opened up the box. So here's what happened.
In nineteen ninety nine, my mom sold our house, the
house I'd lived in my entire life. So I went
off to college and then she finally sold our house
and it was like, oh, I remember it being so sad,
but she boxed up everything. And the reason why I
remember this now being nineteen ninety nine is because well,
(25:48):
first of all, I was going off to college, but
second of all, my mom's friend just shipped me the
boxes because she was storing them in her storage thing
for my mom. Because there's a lot of boxes. And
the newspaper my mom stuck the boxes with was Austin
American Statesman nineteen ninety nine, and so that was cool
to like check the news. Yeah. Then when I opened
up the box. But my mom passed away in twenty fourteen.
(26:13):
But my mom's friend, for whatever reason, even though my
mom moved into a new place and could have stored
them herself, I guess it was just like, oh, well,
they're stored at Forrests. She sort of forgot about them,
we all did. And then I got a text message
from my mom's friend not too long ago, and she
was like, I have your Madam Alexander dolls that your
mom packed up years ago. But she's like, I'm going
(26:35):
to ship them to you. So she did and I
got them and they are worth money, so I want
to get them a praise, so I have to take
pictures of them.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I wonder if she got a little spooked when she
opened up the box.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Her No, she knew that on the outside. She never opened
to them. They were still boxed and taped up with
my mom's handwriting.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Well, if you are driving and you can't look up,
what the dolls look like? They look like the dolls
that would be in a thriller movie to scare people.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Did I already say I'll that my kids were scared
when yeah, Well, when I opened the box, Steven's oh
what is that doll? And then Stashira came buy She's
like creepy.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
And I'm like, what, that's what it is? Creepy.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
They're like yeah, And they didn't make me feel insecure
at all, like they were also like, they don't have
a perfect body, they don't look.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
Like actual people, and I guess the barbie doesn't either.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Honestly, this doll would make me feel better about myself.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Well, I'm going to see what doctor Lorie says they
are worth. And someone called into the Bobby Bone Shoe
and said that they worked at Goodwill and some people
turned in some Madame Alexander dolls and they sent it
off to a different center because they thought these could
be worth something. And then they ended up selling for
like two thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Oh, I saw them on Etsy for like forty bucks.
So I guess it depends on what one you.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Got miner in the original boxes. Oh, except the boxes
are not in like tip top condition. But my mom
still I was pretty impressed. My mom kept the original boxes,
and I was like, wow, this kind of says a
lot about my mom, Like I'm not like that. I
get a I open it up, I throw away a box.
And she like kept each box for however many years,
because I probably started collecting them in the eighties, and
(28:07):
then she sold the house in ninety nine and she
reboxed them each in their own individual box and then
there's a ziplock bag in there with this little teeny
tiny black shoe that she must have realized later belonged
to someone in one of the boxes, and she didn't
want to go through and figure it out, so she
put it in a ziploc bag and she was like,
find who's foot this belongs to? And she just put
it in there, And I guess she figured one day
(28:29):
we'd unpack it, which was you did last week. Oh well,
good luck. Let me hope that they're worth a lot. Well,
there you go. If you have any dolls, doctor Lori,
you can google her. She can uppraise them again. Kat's
episode is Barbiegate was up last Wednesday. You need Therapies
her podcast and where else can people find you?
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Cat on Instagram at Kat dot defada.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
And you also have you Need Therapy podcast dot com
and at you Need Therapy on.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Instagram at you Need Therapy podcasts.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Oh yeah, dah yeah, okay, okay, I'm at radio Amy
and radio amy dot com is where you can buy
more info. And we hope you have the day that
you need to have. Bye bye
Speaker 4 (29:11):
H
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