September 24, 2023 • 46 mins
It's been a minute since we have done a listener Q&A so we are pumped to have one up for you! Kalya, who has been a listener for 15 years, is on a growth journey, so her questions for Amy were centered around that! Hope you Enjoy!!
THINGS DISCUSSED:
-Values or character traits Amy uses to make decisions-What people misunderstand about Amy
-When Amy's kids look back on their childhood what does she hope they remember
-What would Amy tell herself 10 years ago to help enhance her life
Thanks for the great questions, Kayla!
GUEST HOST: Listener Kayle
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
All right, listener, Q and A Time.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm sitting across from Kayla Mikeuele, and Kayla was telling
me before we hit record that she had shirts made
for her friend group and Kayla, I want you to
share with everyone that you just showed me because you're
wearing the shirt right now. And I thought, Oh, this
is such a good idea. Doesn't even have to be
with this specific saying or quote, but something for your
(00:27):
friend group that's really personal and means something.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Yeah. So my friend group we meet for a Bible
City every other Monday, and we kind of live in
different geographic locations. So we have all been on this
journey of authenticity and just growth in our personal lives.
And I think as women, we just really look for
outside validation. So, you know, the very beginning of our growth,
(00:54):
we kept repeating the quote that you and Kat say
so often on the fifth day, what other people think
of me is none of my business. And so I
had shirts made with that saying on the very bottom,
just so that we all have something that reminds us
that you know, it's okay to be us and if
external validation is not present, that doesn't mean we're wrong.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Awesome which is just a cute like you've got on
like a maroon colored ish v neck and then at
the very bottom and cursive, it's just very simple. What
other people think of me is none of my business.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
So I put it on the bottom so that people
aren't staring at my chest because you know, that's what
normally happens when you say when you put words across
your test, people stare at them to read it. Actually
has started a lot of conversations because it's harder for
people to read it, so they like ask you, you
know what, what is it? And then you're able to
like start a conversation with them. It's been actually a
(01:47):
really cool gift that I gave to myself without even
realizing it.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Love that and you just gave it the gift to
someone listening right now that might go make some shirts
for their friends right now, and that's a beauty of
Like online, there's so many different places where you can
just make a one off shirt or make five or
six for your friends, and it doesn't have to be
this whole production thing, and it could be something really special.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Well, this is your your episode. You're the leader. Q
and A. I heard that you thought that this was
a scam I did.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I actually emailed kat I got really plugged into her
You Need Therapy podcast to her and I have actually
emailed back and forth prior to this. So I emailed
her and copied you know, the four Things podcast in
that email. Can somebody please tell me if this is
a scam because when you open that document, you have
(02:42):
to list your social and I was like, Okay, this
is not going to be scam alert on me.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Right because you won the iHeartRadio there was a one
day where we had all kinds of things that were
being given away, and so you entered and it just
goes to show too that there are real winners selected
four Things.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, and I guess it was like the third or
fourth person because you had like a certain window of
time to fill out the information, and I guess people
just didn't fill it out. And so I'm very excited
because I've been listening to you on air for fifteen
years probably, and then with COVID, I really got started
(03:22):
listening to the four Things podcast and actually went backwards
and listened to all of them, and I would start
laughing out loud and my husband be like, what are
you doing. I'm like, I'm just chatting with Amy and
he's like, you're not talking to her. I was like,
I know, but I'm part of the conversation.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Well, so you said fifteen years, where do you live?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
I live in North Carolina. I actually was in Southern
Pines when you lived there, which is kind of funny.
It used to be my vacation spot with my family
growing up. We used to take an RV there and
hang out in the town and that kind of stuff.
So I've lived in Wilmington for my whole life, and
then currently I live in Newburn, which is just north
(04:03):
of Wilmington, still on the coast.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Yeah, I guess I was in North Carolina probably two
thousand and seven, two thousand and eight, and then we
moved away in twenty twelve, so I was there for
about five years, but still was doing the Bobby Bone
show that was in Austin, but I did it from
my garage apartment in Southern Pines, which was a lot
of fun.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
It's just so crazy. Yeah, it's crazy that, like remote
work was so not the norm back then, so that's
kind of cool that they allowed you to do that.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yeah, it's sort of when COVID happened and we had
to work remotely. We thought, well, we've got this down.
We did this for years and we know how to
make it work, and still sound like we're still in
the same room. So I'll hand things over to you.
I know you've got your questions and take it away.
Kayla your episode.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Okay, So I have deep questions because I feel like
I know you really well, and I know that's weird
because you don't know me very well, but you really
helped mainstream the thought of taking on your own personal
growth through like your own reading and your own you know,
(05:12):
looking for knowledge and not just kind of being a
bystanderd in your personal growth. So these kind of questions
are the fallout of that. So hypothetically, if you lived
or made decisions through the lens of a certain list
of values or character traits, what would some of those.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Be, Well, I mean just things that I daily try
to focus on, or probably especially since becoming a parent.
I'm sure they change depending on the season of life
you're in right now. I would say a lens would
for sure be compassion, just different understanding of why someone
(05:50):
is the way they are, and I mean I want
that granted to me. Too, and understanding where someone is
coming from and keeping an open mind too, and not
that those are totally related to becoming a parent. I
had compassion before I was a mom, but adopting two
kids you have this like different level of compassion and
(06:13):
just some other life circumstances the last few years have
really given me more compassion, and I'm very thankful for that.
And then when it comes to being open minded, I
think I spent some of my life very close minded,
and so I really focus on keeping an open mind
(06:34):
in my later years in life and as I evolve
and learn new things, and I just don't want to
ever shut anything off because been my now ex husband
was on my podcast a couple of weeks ago, and
you know, he said something like, the more he experiences
in life and the more he knows or learns, he
(06:56):
realizes that he doesn't really know anything. And I think
that that's so true. So I want to always keep
an open mind. As much as I want to soak
up and learn and try to show up differently, I
also want to never think that I, oh, I've got
it all figured out now, I know, because it's so true.
(07:16):
The more you get into it, you're like, okay, I
basically know I know nothing, and then respect I think
falls in line with open mindedness and just respecting where
people are coming from, respecting myself, respecting my own boundaries,
respecting someone else's boundaries if it may need to be
(07:37):
a boundary even with me, like even if I don't
like it, you know, I need to understand. I don't
know why someone may have to make a certain decision
that they make, but I want to respect it and
also not let it affect me in a way. Kat
and I talk about that a lot too on the
fifth thing, especially recently, and along the same lines of
(07:58):
your shirt. It's not any of my business necessarily, like
if someone needed to set a boundary with me, I
need to respect and have compassion that like, oh, look
at them, I'm so glad they're taking care of their
mental health and they're taking care of themselves. That's amazing,
and that I won't let it keep me up at night,
And not that I don't care like or have feelings
(08:21):
about it, But it's when it starts to ruminate and
loop in your head and starts to rule your day,
that's when it becomes difficult.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Because we obviously all.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Care back to your shirt what other people think of us.
But if we are altering who we truly want to
show up as or who we want to be because
we want someone else's opinion of us to fit that
person's mold instead of our own and how we want
to show up, then.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
That's when it becomes a problem.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
That's when we need to not care about someone else's
opinion because we should want to show up as our
authentic selves and not who we think other people want
us to be. And say, gosh, some traits or characteristics
that I want to work on. Or confidence and courage,
those are two that I'm gonna really try to start
(09:11):
focusing on.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's so crazy to me because like you know, listening
to you basically for an hour every day, right because
we get to listen to the show and I listen
on the podcast like the iHeartRadio app, and me viewing
you from the outside, I would say that you have
a lot of confidence and courage. And it reminds me
that like we don't know what somebody else's life looks
(09:35):
like behind the screen and like their own mental like
the things that they tell themselves, So like to me,
looking at your life like you are strong and courageous,
But what's going on in your own head is could
be something totally opposite of what we view, right.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I think that's really important to keep in mind of
all people that you see. And it's not that I'm
trying to portray a different life than what I really have.
I think there are certain parts of my life where
I have been extremely resilient and I am proud of myself,
and I have been strong, and there's been some major growth,
but there's just certain areas where I would like to
(10:14):
be a little more courageous in there's certain areas where
I'm still lacking confidence and the belief in myself. And
I'm trying to think of how many years I spent
not knowing my worth, and you've got all those years.
I can be working towards it and presenting as if
I'm working towards it and want to encourage others to
be doing the same, telling them like what to do,
(10:34):
but just to hey, this is kind of what I've
been doing, is what works for me. I want you
to know your worth. You want others to believe in themselves,
and it's often easier to see it in other people
before they see it in themselves, so similar to what
you're saying, but really having a handle on it and
really knowing my worth and that's going to take it
could take years. Is nothing is overnight, just like you know,
(10:58):
those thoughts came about and if they're with you for
fifteen twenty twenty five, some people thirty I know, I
have listeners that sometimes are in their sixties and they're
emailing me about things that they're just now discovering about
themselves and they haven't felt worthy since they were a
young kid, and they can even remember when it switched
for them, like say it's at eight years old. So
(11:19):
then you've got decades of stuff to work through and
process and relearn and it doesn't happen overnight. So for me,
I think I do have in some area a certain
level of confidence. I can get in front of a
mic and I'm comfortable. I can get on stage and
I'm comfortable. But that's just I think how I'm wired.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
But am I.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Totally confident about everything I'm saying? Do I believe that
I know that I'm capable of certain things.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
That's where I need to do some work.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
But that's just some of the stories that have been
in my head and some of it I've rewired, and
it's amazing and it's beautiful that we can rewire our brains,
but there's other stuff that still needs still needs work.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Can I ask you a question on the open mindedness
piece that you you talked about. Yeah, so you've said
on online a lot that at some point you were
like so anti certain things, right, and now now you're
(12:25):
very open about like working on that and teaching yourself
and learning new things and kind of changing your thought
process on that. Because I was raised in a very
Christian home and I am also a pastor's wife. We're
actually planting a church here in Newborn, and I find
(12:46):
myself fighting, like the new grown up version of me,
fighting with that little kid version of me that was
so like one hundred percent like this is the this
is the answer. I was so black and white, and
like there is very few things that are black and
white in this world. So how do you come against that?
Like when you when you see something that you are
(13:09):
trying to be open minded about.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Well, there's no way for you to know.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
So I'll just I can jump in with something real
quick of there's no way for you to know. With
one hundred percent certainty that whatever you whatever you were
conditioned to believe or no, is one hundred percent fact.
So there is no black and white, and some people
will try to convince you otherwise, but there's just not.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
At the end of the day, there is gray.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
And then back to that compassion piece and respect is like,
if somebody else doesn't necessarily believe exactly what you believe,
it's really none of your business, right, So putting a
bow on all of that and tying it up, and
if you're at sort of odds with your younger self,
have compassion for her, talk to her. I've had many
(13:50):
a therapy sessions where I've talked to my younger self
and even my younger self that never thought I would
get divorced. Ever, it was not an option, and I
think that I was clinging so tightly to that that
it made things that much more difficult. It's already a
difficult thing that nobody wants. Nobody wants to go through
that at all. And so I think when we cling
(14:12):
to the younger versions of ourselves that weren't as evolved
into who we want to be, and I think we're
always evolving. That's the beautiful thing, and I don't want
to limit myself from certain experiences or relationships just because
it doesn't fit into the box that I developed at
whatever age. And to me, I just feel like I'll
(14:34):
miss out on so much of life and what there
is to experience and expansion, and I definitely don't at
the end of the day, I want to walk around
like I know it all because I don't. Again, the
more you learn and the more work you do, you
start to realize the less that you really know. And
I can't. If there's a belief or something that I'm
(14:56):
struggling with that and maybe I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I'm not saying I fully understand all these different things
that are out there and different things people are believing
and doing, but I just try to respect it and
have an open mind, and they can live their life
and I can live mine. It depends on, honestly, the
exact subject or topic that you're talking about. But I think,
(15:20):
to go back to what I said at the start
of answering that question, there is nothing you can claim
as one hundred percent. I mean, even if you think
about it, like I'm thinking, well, I could be like, well,
this wall is this wall this fabric right here is black.
That is one hundred percent. You cannot deny that. But
everybody's eyes also see different colors. So yes, this is black,
(15:42):
but to some people it might not look black.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
It might look another color.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Just keeping that in mind. I mean, and that's just
an example. It's not anything you're you're definitely not probably
talking about colors of things or whatnot. But that's an
example of like people see things through a different len,
through a different filter. They have different life experiences, So
why limit them or limit yourself and definitely go back
(16:10):
and have conversations with your younger self.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I highly recommend that.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Okay, So my second question is what do you wish
people understood about you and vice versa, what do you
think people misunderstand about it?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I think by ADHD has caused a lot of confusion
in my life. I think in my younger years, some
of the stories that I developed about myself that I'm
not capable, I'm not smart, I'm not good at school.
It's really because I was undiagnosed and I had no
form of treatment, whether it was through medicine or through
any type of holistic type care, or maybe different exercises
(16:42):
that I could do. I'm not saying medicine is always
the answer, but I had no tools. Teachers just said
that I talked a lot and basically made me feel
like I wasn't smart and I would be late to
class because I was talking in the whole and I
was just very social. But I think, well, if I'm
here at school, might as well do something that I
like to do, and talking and being social was that.
(17:03):
So I never really got into school because school was
so hard, because it was hard for me to pay
attention and it was hard for me to focus, and
then testing was hard. I wish there was some understanding
around that for me when I was younger, because then
I wouldn't have developed that story that I'm not capable
and I'm not smart and I'm just the talkative, you know,
cheerleader person. And that's something I've been working through in
(17:25):
my forties. Is literally stuff that I experienced in high
school because of it, and as an adult with ADHD,
sometimes my attention isn't totally focused on someone, and I
wish that they knew and had understanding that I'm not
trying to not not look you in the eye. Because
there's studies that sometimes say, if someone's not looking you
in the eye or they're looking different directions, then they're
(17:46):
not talking to you, or they must be lying, or
they're not telling you true and it's like, okay, no,
everybody is very different, and for me, my ADHD is
very real, and I don't want anyone to ever think
that I'm disrespecting them or if I forget it's something
that they've told me. Because I have all these little
thoughts that are always racing in my head, which I've
gotten better at them. I've been doing things to help
(18:08):
calm the noise in my brain. But there are sometimes
when my relationships have suffered because I know that I
was listening and I know that I care, but because
I didn't know some of the symptoms of my ADHD,
and I wasn't able to share with my friends, like, hey,
(18:29):
this is what's going on. But if I get distracted
and forget what you told me, I just I.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Really do care. I just need you to tell me again.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Where someone may remember every single detail and that's their
gift and they don't have a problem, so therefore they
expect their friends to remember every single detail. I think
that's probably why cat therapy CAT and I get along
so well.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
She has ADHD and.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Also she's a therapist, so she's just you know, she
has a lot of compassion. But I think that she
sees me for how I am and doesn't hold anything
against me. However, I have responsibility to work through that.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
So I know.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
In the years past, there's been times where I forget
a friend's birthday and I have felt horrible about it,
but the story in my head was, eh, I'm just
not really good at remembering people's birthdays, so whatever, Well,
that doesn't make your friends feel very special. And I
also don't want my friends to feel like they're not
important to me. So now I know what I have
to do because of the way my brain is is
(19:22):
I have to be intentional and I have to keep
a calendar and I have updates that pop up on
my phone or my screen and they say, Hey, Kayla's
birthday today. I even have the warning so that like
the week before, I can get make sure I've got
a gift and that they can feel seen on that day.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with that because
(19:43):
I know that I'm catering to my type of brain
that needs the reminder. It doesn't mean I don't care.
It doesn't mean I'm not a good friend. It means
that I'm actually a good friend because I know that
I'll probably.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Forget, so now I'm better. I just wish I had
had that as a tool.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Earlier so that I wouldn't have hurt certain people in
my life. That's just something that is I think misunderstood
at times.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
To answer your question about me, so.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
I'm want to ask the secondary question. So, my husband
was just diagnosed this year with adult add that kind
of like your story. He now like looks back at
his life and he was homeschooled, so his mom was
able to cater to like his needs and stuff, so
it wasn't like the public schools system, you know. But
now as an adult, if you had a friend or
(20:36):
even like like for me as a spouse, what would
be some tools or tricks or tips that you would
want for yourself that maybe I could help my husband
with because it's just hard. It's at a whole other
level of a dynamic, you know, to our relationship.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Yeah, I think that everybody's personality is so unique and different,
Like I don't know y'all's interaction and how you are
as a couple. You know, even the male and the
female brain handle adult add ADHD differently. So I think
my best piece of advice would be there's so many
resources out there for you, especially as a spouse. I
(21:14):
guarantee you someone has done a podcast on it. Mel
Robbins is someone that was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult,
and I know that she was fascinated by it, so
she put out a lot of content in the last
year or so. So I'm sure you could search either
YouTube or podcast and pull up one of her videos
(21:35):
or her talks about it. Because I haven't done enough
research about what would be great to tell other people
what to do, but she has, and so I would
seek out someone that has done the work, and she's
who I can recommend right now, but there might be
other resources out there. I just kind of do some
Google search, and I think it's very awesome, and I
applaud you as a wife wanting to know what are
(21:55):
some things that I can do to come alongside and
best support this instead of well, you probably still get
frustrated at times, right, I mean, that's any relationship, especially
if you're dealing with someone that has add But it's
going to serve you and your relationship better if you
do take the time to do some research, and you
would hope that he would do the same for you
(22:19):
if you are diagnosed with something. And that's what's cool
about relationships when you're in a healthy, loving, caring one,
is you want to take the time to do that
and instead of letting resentment build up about why are
they this way, it's like, well, going back to compassion
and trying to understand, Oh, this is why they're this way,
and you can contribute to making it better. Oh, at
(22:40):
the end of the day, it's on that person. But
there's sometimes where as a partner, like we can add
fuel to the fire and it doesn't help the situation
at all.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Yeah, me asking him if he's taking his benefit of
the day is not the way to help them.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Well, it would be if he's like, Hey, I'm struggling
with remembering to take my medication. Could you remind me? Okay, Well,
then that's great. If y'all haven't had that conversation, and
then now you're coming along nagging like or insinuating that
he is being forgetful, spacey, rambling whatever. Again, the symptoms
(23:15):
are different, then he may get defensive and be like, well,
what are you trying to say, because I actually did
take my meds, so you just think I'm nuts or whatever,
like you build this story in your head. So I
commend you for wanting to figure it out for yourself.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Thank you. It's a it's been a little It's like
validating you know, in a way, but then in other way,
it's like, Okay, this adds like a whole different level
of intimacy almost, of like we have to really have
a conversation about this, and we can't just let it
fly on its own and not have any real conversation
about it. Okay, So my third question is about your kiddos.
(24:07):
When your kids look back on their childhood, what do
you hope they remember or continue to do with their
own kids.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Oh, it's hard to think about my kids having kids
right now. I don't know about that one yet, But
I hope that they can look back and feel seen
for who they are. They're both adopted, but they're not
biological siblings, and even if they were, they would still
be totally different, because at the end of the day,
no two kids are alike, but they are very much different,
(24:36):
and we have to parent them very differently, and they
have to feel seen in different ways, and Ben and
I work really hard at that. It's not easy, but
I want them to know they have a voice and
that we're not here to control them. They're just little humans.
They also did not ask to be adopted in come
(25:00):
into our home, and I think that's a lesson we
got early on of like, we have the gift of
being their parents, and I'm so thankful that God placed
them with us. But I think it was like the
first few months that Stasher was home, we were actually
eating with them or something. I remember being in the
kitchen and we were saying how we're so thankful, and
(25:22):
we were thanking the Lord that they were in our
life and thanking them for coming to be with us
and letting us be their parents. And my daughter said,
I didn't pick this, like, you took me.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Yeah, I wasn't asked.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah wasn't nobody asked me. You took me.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
And she was probably eleven, had just turned eleven years
old at the time when we brought her here. She
was ten, And I thought, wow, I will never forget
that moment. And we didn't get defended, we didn't get
sorry offended, because I think some reaction would be, are
they not grateful for what we have done? Did they
know what kind of life they have and where? But
she had a great life according to her. I mean, yeah,
(26:02):
she was at an orphanage in one of well not
the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
But she had her friends and Haiti was her life.
That's all she knew.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
She had the food, she loved, she had the language
that she was familiar with. She's cool, and we up
and bring her to America. New language, new friends, new home,
new people, a mom, a dad. They're just things that
were so unfamiliar to her. And when things are familiar,
it's more comfortable. Whether it's good or bad, it's what's comfortable.
(26:33):
So that was uncomfortable for her, and I was very
proud of her for being able to voice that and
share that with us. And I think that that was
the start of us trying to understand how to show
up as their parents and how to treat the fact
that they are now here and that we did take
them and nobody did ask them at all, and that
(26:54):
they have this whole other life that they're probably very
curious about still. And I would love to take them
back to Haiti. Ben and I both would and maybe
we will get to one day. It's just the civil
unrest there has gone completely downhill since the adoption. Like
every year, it's progressively gotten worse since we brought them home,
which I'm thankful we were able to sort of be
(27:16):
ahead of some of the chaos that's going on there
right now. But I feel for Haiti, pray for them.
Often it's the struggle there is very, very, very real.
So those are the times too that I'm so thankful
that they're here with us, because I love them so much,
and it would be so hard, you know, if they
(27:38):
were still there. I guess if they were, I don't
know if I would have been matched with them, or
they would even be my kids, so I wouldn't really
know who they were. But I'm just glad that they're
here under my roof, and I hope that their birth
moms know. We don't know much about their birth dads,
but we do know some about their birth moms, and
I just I want their birth moms to know they're here,
they're safe, We're trying to be the best parents possible
(27:59):
to them, and so yeah, I guess back to your question,
is I hope they remember feeling seen, feeling safe, feeling loved,
provided for that, we gave him opportunities, stuff along the
line of that, but probably mostly just seen, because I
feel like oftentimes as kids, we just don't feel like
(28:21):
we have a say in anything. And I think as
parents or as adults, sometimes we do a disservice to
ourselves by treating kids in that way, because there's a
lot we can learn.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
I agree. Do you ever feel like you're healing the
inner child when you're parenting that way? Oh?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Yeah, I mean there's a whole book about that. Yeah. Yeah,
are you familiar?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
No? OK?
Speaker 3 (28:45):
But sometimes I look at my seven year old, well
he'll be seven in October, and he looks if he
had my long brown hair, like we would look like
twins at that age. And sometimes when I'm parenting here,
I'm like, I like the little Kayla and me just
feel so happy right now. Yeah, So the last question
(29:07):
I have, and then I also have four things I'm
grateful for because I figured, uh, maybe you would ask
the question, but what would you tell yourself ten years
ago to help enhance your life like now? And do
you think you would have believed yourself.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah, I would have believed myself if I could go
back and tell so what I am forty two now
is thirty two? Ooh, thirty two would be a perfect
time because I lost my mom at thirty three, and
I think I would go back And there's a lot
I could say about that, but one thing that is
popping into my head right now is codependency. So I
(29:44):
think I would believe myself because I would just like
leave myself this book called Codependent No More and that
would have helped me a lot ten years ago for sure.
And yeah, I would have believed myself somehow. I put
a note, read this, I promise you won't regret it.
Love Amy at forty.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Two, Yeah, I kind of listened to your whole the
whole time, like your dad was moving in and then
when he passed and you are on the train of
like ask the questions and write down the recipes, and
when he started talking about that, you know, I am
like ten years younger than you. So that's kind of
(30:23):
why I asked that question, because like you'd be talking
to me at my age now.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Well, No, that's great that you mentioned that, because Codependent
No More was in my head and then I was like,
oh shoot, I was thirty two. I lost my thirty three,
and so much about my world was rocked when I
lost my mom. And I never experienced excruciating pain like
that or loss and grief in such a way. It
(30:50):
derailed me. I mean, I was a hot mess. So
that's where I was thinking, Like I could go off
on a lot of different things I could tell myself,
but then we'd probably be all day. But I love
that you said that because it's an excellent, easy thing
that other people can take in as wisdom for themselves,
and it's that you never know what tomorrow brings. So
(31:12):
if there are things that you want to collect from
loved ones in your life, information, stories, recipes, whatever, do
it asap so that way you've got it.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Yeah, when you were talking about like wishing that you
had had the recipes that your dad used to cook
because you weren't able to eat them when he was
actually making them, right, it like it hit a spot
inside of me of like I need to get those.
Like the way that you were able to speak it
into the world was the exact way I needed to
(31:46):
hear it, and like my husband were doing the same
thing like just gathering things while you're still able to
gather them. So thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
That's smart and you're totally right. I would love to
hear four things that you're thankful for. I loved what
you've had to offer in between your questions, and so
I'm curious to see what your gratitude looks like.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
The first thing is my husband, who's a true team player,
and my two boys who are able to be themselves
in this world without fear. My second is the ability
to work my dream job from home, which is one
of the pluses of COVID. You know, everybody was able
to work from home. The ability to use social media
(32:30):
and WebEx zoom, face time to stay connected to family
and friends. And then the new ability to afford good
vitamins and therapy, which has been like changing. Yeah, which
is a new one, the vitamins and therapy. Being a
pastoral family, you don't have a lot of extra spending money.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
It's more lean. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
Yeah, So now that I am working from home, we're
able to do those things and it's just not like
a night and day difference with you know, just being
able to live like at a higher level, I feel
like like a higher personal level.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
That's so great just feeling good. Yeah, yeah, I love.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
That for you, and you know it just it takes
you to another level of appreciation for even because knowing
that it wasn't a resource available to you, and now
it has become we have to think of there's so
many people out there where it's just literally not even
an option, and gosh, wouldn't it be great something as
simple as mental health and vitamins nutrients, things that again
(33:37):
just help us live and think and operate at a
higher level.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Like that's just basic human needs.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
That you would love for all people to be able
to have. So I'm sure you have a deep appreciation
for that.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Yeah, and being able to show my kids the importance
of it. I don't know about you, but like, growing up,
we had a flint Stone vite every day and that
just doesn't cut it. When I think back on like
what was actually in the Flintstone vitamin, I think we
got more sugar than anything else, which, you know, something
is better than nothing.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
But right, I mean, hey, I love a good gummy vitamin.
But yeah, there's there's something to be said about that.
And I'm still doing a little case study on my
daughter Tashira, like they love the foods that they love,
and they just despise a lot of other things. Stevenson
is a pretty good vegetable eater. He loves just eating
(34:31):
lettuce out of the box, which there's a lot of
nutrients in the mixed greens that he likes, especially the
dark leafy mixed greens.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Stashira won't touch one with tim foot pole, like.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I think. There's one time where I broke off, like
I'm like a teeny tiny speck, like a sea salt
speck of green lettuce and like dropped it in her food,
and she's like, what is this? But I drink athletic
greens every day, and she started drinking it, and I
get that that's not an option for a lot of people.
(35:02):
So I'm very thankful. But I thought when she tried it,
she was gonna hate it. I even never thought to
even give it to her. One day, she got curious
and she just said, I want to try it. And
I literally said, which I shouldn't have even put this
in her head, but I said, you're not gonna like it.
And I thought, why would I speak negativity, because sure
enough she tasted it.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
But sure enough, she proved me wrong, is my point.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
So I was like, oh, I'm glad my negativity didn't
interfere with her original thought, which was that this is
not that bad. So she has started to drink it
every morning, and I swear to you, and again, I
want to do more research. I'm not making any type
of claim here. All I know is what I see
in my home and in her overall personality. And I
(35:47):
think that there's some vital nutrient, mineral, whatever that she
was lacking that that's now giving her. And I think
it is she's now operating at a higher level, like
it's doing something for how she was feeling. And it's
either a really odd coincidence or it's something else that
(36:07):
I don't know of yet. That's a pretty major change,
going from nothing like that to than drinking. But I
think I was seventy five different rimmer minerals every day
or vitamins and nutrients, so you know, in gut health
they say is so important, like can affect your mood,
and I know it's like a prebiotic, probiotic, and I thought, well,
(36:28):
I mean I do feel good. That's why I've drunk
it for years, been has been on it. I don't
know why we never thought, which again, I don't even know.
I need to look up if it's even four kids.
I mean, she's almost seventeen, so I'm not so much worried.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
About her, but other influencer kids, yeah, you know, drink it.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
But yeah, well I've taken it for a long time
and they've reached out to me about doing some Instagram stuff.
I've run ads on the podcast for them before, and
I know it's just sometimes when you see it online
so much, I never want people to think like, oh,
I'm just hopping in on some trend and being an influencer.
(37:07):
But I don't know if this to share stuff, if
there's something to it. And I know how been and
I feel, and I'm like, well, why not if I
can give someone like if there's a code or they
can get something for free with it in some way,
shape or form. But I just know I feel the
same way you do, Like when you said that in
quotes people, I know people can't see you with like
(37:28):
influencer thing that sometimes it either goes one way where
we're super thankful for something that someone shared with us
and we've tried it and we're like wow, this is amazing,
and maybe a lot of people are talking about it,
but we're just not seeing it all the time, or
we see like everybody talking about it and we're kind
of like, is that even true? Or are they just
(37:48):
like getting paid to say this. I can just guaranteing
to you if you hear me talk about anything, I've
either spent my own money about it or I have
been like adamant about the company has to send me
something and I want to try it and see how
I feel about it, and then we'll go from there.
And I either do endorsements where it's like I have
used this, or I may lend my voice to where
(38:09):
I haven't personally used it, but I either know someone
that has, or I think the company has a good
enough reputation to where I feel okay lending my voice
to the brand.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
Yeah, and I think if you know, like someone like
me who has, you know, we have this connection with
you that's different than looking at somebody for fifteen seconds
a day and then them trying to sell something that
you know you just don't have that same connection with. So, yeah,
I never feel like you're selling anything that you either
(38:42):
haven't used or that you're getting paid for.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
I think with the AG one thing is probably like
a just letting you in behind the curtain a little bit.
I think with Instagram, I did turn it down even
though I'm using it, because I kept seeing it everywhere.
But then I'm like, well, why can't they be using
it and loving it too? It doesn't mean that it's
(39:08):
you can't join in in any way.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
And one of my.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Friends was like, so what you do use it every
day and if they want to give you a code
and have you post about it, and yeah, it's a
win win for everybody. Why would you not just because
you keep seeing it everywhere.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
The online social media Instagram influencer space is so bizarre
because that's not the category I put myself in. I
AM Radio started out in radio seventeen years ago when
there was no social media and we were connecting with
our listeners and that's what we still do to this day.
But there's different layers to it now. There's the radio show,
(39:46):
there's podcasts, and then there's an extension which is social media.
And it's a fine line. Sometimes I don't really know
sometimes exactly how to show up. I just know that
I want to show up as my if I'm feeling overwhelmed,
then I don't have to, or if it's stressing me out,
but I try not to put too much emphasis on
it and yeat.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
At the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
The world has shifted to that space, and if I'm
on there, I don't know that I need to overanalyze
if a company wants me to share something or partner
on something, and I don't need to overthink it, Like
if people end up resonating with it and they want it, great,
If they want to tap on through it, great.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
I guess I just had.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Spent so many years not ever doing anything and it
felt like such an influencing, influencery.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
Type of thing.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
But I do commercials on the radio all day long,
and I don't think twice about that because that was
just the norm for me, and who knows, maybe it'll
become more of the norm. And not that I want
to just post stuff or products all day long. I
have a laundry list of things I say no to
all the time, but there's some stuff it would just
be silly for me to not share and make it
(40:55):
a win win.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
So that's all that.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Was total tangent by the way of me working through
my own crap, worrying about what other people are going
to think of me, and at the end of the day,
I shouldn't be worrying about that.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Well, when she was posting about the whitening streep, yeah
the Lumino, I was like, yes, she needs to play
under her hustler core value that I feel like she has,
because that will take her so far.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
Oh yes, And that's an example of a company that
had reached out to me and I had not used
their whitening strips, so I said, I don't feel as
though it'll be authentic. However, my six year old daughter
is next to me and she's been begging me for
whitening strips and I have been like, no, whatever, you
don't need that law.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
But if she was like, oh, tell them, I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
So I send off this email, thinking again, my negative
Nancy head, they're not going to let her do this.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
And they replied back, They're like, hey, let's give that
a try. That sounds great.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
And you know, not every kid has their mom's social
media to hop been on and post stuff, and she
she knows that and I've made that very clear, you know.
So she is getting compensated, but it's stuff that we're
going to put away for her for her education. And
I'm proud of her for doing it. And she's got
a few more coming up with them. I think in September.
(42:17):
There's like a toothbrush thing, like, so she's expanding beyond
just the whitening strips. So she kind of got her
own brand partnership. And sometimes I have to get onto
her like, hey, you need to go do this video.
I have to do that, and she sees me as
her mom, and I'm like, hey, I'm just gonna connect
you directly with the brand because this is not coming
from me. You wanted to do this, you asked for it,
they agreed, you signed up for it, and so why
(42:39):
don't you start communicating with them because I don't want
you to think I'm trying to come in here and
make you do this video right now.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
It's just literally do right now.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
So like, yeah, you're you're going to learn a hard
lesson about deadlines when you're working with other people. And
this isn't a mom deadline, this is a businessline. And
that's a business decision that you made.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Now that's really cool, and I think that you know, like,
as a parent, you want your kids to eventually be
able to stand up on your shoulders, or at least
for me, like, I don't want them to ever be
on my level. I just want them to succeed way
far beyond what, you know, what I could. I think
that's how we grow as a society. So giving her
the ability to learn how to you know, exist in
(43:25):
the real world, but then also have this online you know,
brand deal is kind of the way of the future.
So it's cool that one day she might be teaching
other people that are her peers the five years of
experience she has when she is in college and other
kids are wanting to get brand deals. It's just cool
to you know, we all, we all have those little
things that our parents are able to do for us
(43:47):
that other parents aren't able to do because of our
jobs or because of you know, the their experience, and
so I think it's cool that that she has that opportunity.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I'm proud of her.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
Well, Kayla, this has been awesome, very thankful for your
questions and you sharing gratitude, and I love your shirt
so much. Tell all your friends, I said.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
Hi, I will, I will, you know, I.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Know that cat Therapy cat from Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
The fifth thing is where you hear us probably say
that the most, but I love a lot of cats
sayings have the day you need to have. And I
love that she puts that on her merch and whatnot.
So it's pretty cool you got your own friend merch.
Speaker 3 (44:30):
Yeah, her podcast pulled me out of a really dark
spot and I said, hi.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
I will and again, her podcast is called you Need Therapy.
She's got two episodes that go up every week on
Mondays and Wednesdays if people want to check that out,
because yes, she's absolutely awesome. And yeah, Kayla, tell your family.
I said, hey, now you can tell your husband we
really are.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Yes we are friend Amy.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Yes you've now met face to face so he can
take that.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
And yeah, I hope you all have a good rest
of your year. I feel like we're to that point.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
I don't want to be like, you know, have a
good year, but we're I was at Costco the other
day and they've got Christmas trees out, so here we are.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
I had my first in my business world, like we'll
catch you next year because they take the fourth quarter
off and I'm like, we're already there. It's only September.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
Also, what kind of amazing company is this that takes
the fourth quarter off?
Speaker 1 (45:23):
I know, beautiful.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
I don't think that they take everything off. They just
take like off like marketing and stuff. So he's like
the rep in the medical world.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
So like, okay, okay, that might make sense. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
I was just like, well, circle back in January. What
are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (45:38):
It's that time. Yeah, you're welcome, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
I'm glad we got to sit down and do this,
and we hadn't done a listener Q and A in
a while anyway, so I'm glad that was part of
the iHeart giveaway and that you want it and we
got to sit down and do this, and we'll just
have to start bringing back listener Q and as more
and more. But some of that's just knowing my bandwidth
and sometimes I have these ideas and they sound great
and I want to go all in and then I'm like, oh,
(46:04):
I need to reel some stuff back in. But this
was a lot of fun and it's definitely making me
want to do it more. So thank you, Kayla, thank you,
bye bye.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Thank
All right, listener, Q and A Time.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm sitting across from Kayla Mikeuele, and Kayla was telling
me before we hit record that she had shirts made
for her friend group and Kayla, I want you to
share with everyone that you just showed me because you're
wearing the shirt right now. And I thought, Oh, this
is such a good idea. Doesn't even have to be
with this specific saying or quote, but something for your
(00:27):
friend group that's really personal and means something.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Yeah. So my friend group we meet for a Bible
City every other Monday, and we kind of live in
different geographic locations. So we have all been on this
journey of authenticity and just growth in our personal lives.
And I think as women, we just really look for
outside validation. So, you know, the very beginning of our growth,
(00:54):
we kept repeating the quote that you and Kat say
so often on the fifth day, what other people think
of me is none of my business. And so I
had shirts made with that saying on the very bottom,
just so that we all have something that reminds us
that you know, it's okay to be us and if
external validation is not present, that doesn't mean we're wrong.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Awesome which is just a cute like you've got on
like a maroon colored ish v neck and then at
the very bottom and cursive, it's just very simple. What
other people think of me is none of my business.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
So I put it on the bottom so that people
aren't staring at my chest because you know, that's what
normally happens when you say when you put words across
your test, people stare at them to read it. Actually
has started a lot of conversations because it's harder for
people to read it, so they like ask you, you
know what, what is it? And then you're able to
like start a conversation with them. It's been actually a
(01:47):
really cool gift that I gave to myself without even
realizing it.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Love that and you just gave it the gift to
someone listening right now that might go make some shirts
for their friends right now, and that's a beauty of
Like online, there's so many different places where you can
just make a one off shirt or make five or
six for your friends, and it doesn't have to be
this whole production thing, and it could be something really special.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Well, this is your your episode. You're the leader. Q
and A. I heard that you thought that this was
a scam I did.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I actually emailed kat I got really plugged into her
You Need Therapy podcast to her and I have actually
emailed back and forth prior to this. So I emailed
her and copied you know, the four Things podcast in
that email. Can somebody please tell me if this is
a scam because when you open that document, you have
(02:42):
to list your social and I was like, Okay, this
is not going to be scam alert on me.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Right because you won the iHeartRadio there was a one
day where we had all kinds of things that were
being given away, and so you entered and it just
goes to show too that there are real winners selected
four Things.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, and I guess it was like the third or
fourth person because you had like a certain window of
time to fill out the information, and I guess people
just didn't fill it out. And so I'm very excited
because I've been listening to you on air for fifteen
years probably, and then with COVID, I really got started
(03:22):
listening to the four Things podcast and actually went backwards
and listened to all of them, and I would start
laughing out loud and my husband be like, what are
you doing. I'm like, I'm just chatting with Amy and
he's like, you're not talking to her. I was like,
I know, but I'm part of the conversation.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Well, so you said fifteen years, where do you live?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
I live in North Carolina. I actually was in Southern
Pines when you lived there, which is kind of funny.
It used to be my vacation spot with my family
growing up. We used to take an RV there and
hang out in the town and that kind of stuff.
So I've lived in Wilmington for my whole life, and
then currently I live in Newburn, which is just north
(04:03):
of Wilmington, still on the coast.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Yeah, I guess I was in North Carolina probably two
thousand and seven, two thousand and eight, and then we
moved away in twenty twelve, so I was there for
about five years, but still was doing the Bobby Bone
show that was in Austin, but I did it from
my garage apartment in Southern Pines, which was a lot
of fun.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
It's just so crazy. Yeah, it's crazy that, like remote
work was so not the norm back then, so that's
kind of cool that they allowed you to do that.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yeah, it's sort of when COVID happened and we had
to work remotely. We thought, well, we've got this down.
We did this for years and we know how to
make it work, and still sound like we're still in
the same room. So I'll hand things over to you.
I know you've got your questions and take it away.
Kayla your episode.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Okay, So I have deep questions because I feel like
I know you really well, and I know that's weird
because you don't know me very well, but you really
helped mainstream the thought of taking on your own personal
growth through like your own reading and your own you know,
(05:12):
looking for knowledge and not just kind of being a
bystanderd in your personal growth. So these kind of questions
are the fallout of that. So hypothetically, if you lived
or made decisions through the lens of a certain list
of values or character traits, what would some of those.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Be, Well, I mean just things that I daily try
to focus on, or probably especially since becoming a parent.
I'm sure they change depending on the season of life
you're in right now. I would say a lens would
for sure be compassion, just different understanding of why someone
(05:50):
is the way they are, and I mean I want
that granted to me. Too, and understanding where someone is
coming from and keeping an open mind too, and not
that those are totally related to becoming a parent. I
had compassion before I was a mom, but adopting two
kids you have this like different level of compassion and
(06:13):
just some other life circumstances the last few years have
really given me more compassion, and I'm very thankful for that.
And then when it comes to being open minded, I
think I spent some of my life very close minded,
and so I really focus on keeping an open mind
(06:34):
in my later years in life and as I evolve
and learn new things, and I just don't want to
ever shut anything off because been my now ex husband
was on my podcast a couple of weeks ago, and
you know, he said something like, the more he experiences
in life and the more he knows or learns, he
(06:56):
realizes that he doesn't really know anything. And I think
that that's so true. So I want to always keep
an open mind. As much as I want to soak
up and learn and try to show up differently, I
also want to never think that I, oh, I've got
it all figured out now, I know, because it's so true.
(07:16):
The more you get into it, you're like, okay, I
basically know I know nothing, and then respect I think
falls in line with open mindedness and just respecting where
people are coming from, respecting myself, respecting my own boundaries,
respecting someone else's boundaries if it may need to be
(07:37):
a boundary even with me, like even if I don't
like it, you know, I need to understand. I don't
know why someone may have to make a certain decision
that they make, but I want to respect it and
also not let it affect me in a way. Kat
and I talk about that a lot too on the
fifth thing, especially recently, and along the same lines of
(07:58):
your shirt. It's not any of my business necessarily, like
if someone needed to set a boundary with me, I
need to respect and have compassion that like, oh, look
at them, I'm so glad they're taking care of their
mental health and they're taking care of themselves. That's amazing,
and that I won't let it keep me up at night,
And not that I don't care like or have feelings
(08:21):
about it, But it's when it starts to ruminate and
loop in your head and starts to rule your day,
that's when it becomes difficult.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Because we obviously all.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Care back to your shirt what other people think of us.
But if we are altering who we truly want to
show up as or who we want to be because
we want someone else's opinion of us to fit that
person's mold instead of our own and how we want
to show up, then.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
That's when it becomes a problem.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
That's when we need to not care about someone else's
opinion because we should want to show up as our
authentic selves and not who we think other people want
us to be. And say, gosh, some traits or characteristics
that I want to work on. Or confidence and courage,
those are two that I'm gonna really try to start
(09:11):
focusing on.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's so crazy to me because like you know, listening
to you basically for an hour every day, right because
we get to listen to the show and I listen
on the podcast like the iHeartRadio app, and me viewing
you from the outside, I would say that you have
a lot of confidence and courage. And it reminds me
that like we don't know what somebody else's life looks
(09:35):
like behind the screen and like their own mental like
the things that they tell themselves, So like to me,
looking at your life like you are strong and courageous,
But what's going on in your own head is could
be something totally opposite of what we view, right.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I think that's really important to keep in mind of
all people that you see. And it's not that I'm
trying to portray a different life than what I really have.
I think there are certain parts of my life where
I have been extremely resilient and I am proud of myself,
and I have been strong, and there's been some major growth,
but there's just certain areas where I would like to
(10:14):
be a little more courageous in there's certain areas where
I'm still lacking confidence and the belief in myself. And
I'm trying to think of how many years I spent
not knowing my worth, and you've got all those years.
I can be working towards it and presenting as if
I'm working towards it and want to encourage others to
be doing the same, telling them like what to do,
(10:34):
but just to hey, this is kind of what I've
been doing, is what works for me. I want you
to know your worth. You want others to believe in themselves,
and it's often easier to see it in other people
before they see it in themselves, so similar to what
you're saying, but really having a handle on it and
really knowing my worth and that's going to take it
could take years. Is nothing is overnight, just like you know,
(10:58):
those thoughts came about and if they're with you for
fifteen twenty twenty five, some people thirty I know, I
have listeners that sometimes are in their sixties and they're
emailing me about things that they're just now discovering about
themselves and they haven't felt worthy since they were a
young kid, and they can even remember when it switched
for them, like say it's at eight years old. So
(11:19):
then you've got decades of stuff to work through and
process and relearn and it doesn't happen overnight. So for me,
I think I do have in some area a certain
level of confidence. I can get in front of a
mic and I'm comfortable. I can get on stage and
I'm comfortable. But that's just I think how I'm wired.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
But am I.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Totally confident about everything I'm saying? Do I believe that
I know that I'm capable of certain things.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
That's where I need to do some work.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
But that's just some of the stories that have been
in my head and some of it I've rewired, and
it's amazing and it's beautiful that we can rewire our brains,
but there's other stuff that still needs still needs work.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Can I ask you a question on the open mindedness
piece that you you talked about. Yeah, so you've said
on online a lot that at some point you were
like so anti certain things, right, and now now you're
(12:25):
very open about like working on that and teaching yourself
and learning new things and kind of changing your thought
process on that. Because I was raised in a very
Christian home and I am also a pastor's wife. We're
actually planting a church here in Newborn, and I find
(12:46):
myself fighting, like the new grown up version of me,
fighting with that little kid version of me that was
so like one hundred percent like this is the this
is the answer. I was so black and white, and
like there is very few things that are black and
white in this world. So how do you come against that?
Like when you when you see something that you are
(13:09):
trying to be open minded about.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Well, there's no way for you to know.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
So I'll just I can jump in with something real
quick of there's no way for you to know. With
one hundred percent certainty that whatever you whatever you were
conditioned to believe or no, is one hundred percent fact.
So there is no black and white, and some people
will try to convince you otherwise, but there's just not.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
At the end of the day, there is gray.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
And then back to that compassion piece and respect is like,
if somebody else doesn't necessarily believe exactly what you believe,
it's really none of your business, right, So putting a
bow on all of that and tying it up, and
if you're at sort of odds with your younger self,
have compassion for her, talk to her. I've had many
(13:50):
a therapy sessions where I've talked to my younger self
and even my younger self that never thought I would
get divorced. Ever, it was not an option, and I
think that I was clinging so tightly to that that
it made things that much more difficult. It's already a
difficult thing that nobody wants. Nobody wants to go through
that at all. And so I think when we cling
(14:12):
to the younger versions of ourselves that weren't as evolved
into who we want to be, and I think we're
always evolving. That's the beautiful thing, and I don't want
to limit myself from certain experiences or relationships just because
it doesn't fit into the box that I developed at
whatever age. And to me, I just feel like I'll
(14:34):
miss out on so much of life and what there
is to experience and expansion, and I definitely don't at
the end of the day, I want to walk around
like I know it all because I don't. Again, the
more you learn and the more work you do, you
start to realize the less that you really know. And
I can't. If there's a belief or something that I'm
(14:56):
struggling with that and maybe I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I'm not saying I fully understand all these different things
that are out there and different things people are believing
and doing, but I just try to respect it and
have an open mind, and they can live their life
and I can live mine. It depends on, honestly, the
exact subject or topic that you're talking about. But I think,
(15:20):
to go back to what I said at the start
of answering that question, there is nothing you can claim
as one hundred percent. I mean, even if you think
about it, like I'm thinking, well, I could be like, well,
this wall is this wall this fabric right here is black.
That is one hundred percent. You cannot deny that. But
everybody's eyes also see different colors. So yes, this is black,
(15:42):
but to some people it might not look black.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
It might look another color.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Just keeping that in mind. I mean, and that's just
an example. It's not anything you're you're definitely not probably
talking about colors of things or whatnot. But that's an
example of like people see things through a different len,
through a different filter. They have different life experiences, So
why limit them or limit yourself and definitely go back
(16:10):
and have conversations with your younger self.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I highly recommend that.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Okay, So my second question is what do you wish
people understood about you and vice versa, what do you
think people misunderstand about it?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I think by ADHD has caused a lot of confusion
in my life. I think in my younger years, some
of the stories that I developed about myself that I'm
not capable, I'm not smart, I'm not good at school.
It's really because I was undiagnosed and I had no
form of treatment, whether it was through medicine or through
any type of holistic type care, or maybe different exercises
(16:42):
that I could do. I'm not saying medicine is always
the answer, but I had no tools. Teachers just said
that I talked a lot and basically made me feel
like I wasn't smart and I would be late to
class because I was talking in the whole and I
was just very social. But I think, well, if I'm
here at school, might as well do something that I
like to do, and talking and being social was that.
(17:03):
So I never really got into school because school was
so hard, because it was hard for me to pay
attention and it was hard for me to focus, and
then testing was hard. I wish there was some understanding
around that for me when I was younger, because then
I wouldn't have developed that story that I'm not capable
and I'm not smart and I'm just the talkative, you know,
cheerleader person. And that's something I've been working through in
(17:25):
my forties. Is literally stuff that I experienced in high
school because of it, and as an adult with ADHD,
sometimes my attention isn't totally focused on someone, and I
wish that they knew and had understanding that I'm not
trying to not not look you in the eye. Because
there's studies that sometimes say, if someone's not looking you
in the eye or they're looking different directions, then they're
(17:46):
not talking to you, or they must be lying, or
they're not telling you true and it's like, okay, no,
everybody is very different, and for me, my ADHD is
very real, and I don't want anyone to ever think
that I'm disrespecting them or if I forget it's something
that they've told me. Because I have all these little
thoughts that are always racing in my head, which I've
gotten better at them. I've been doing things to help
(18:08):
calm the noise in my brain. But there are sometimes
when my relationships have suffered because I know that I
was listening and I know that I care, but because
I didn't know some of the symptoms of my ADHD,
and I wasn't able to share with my friends, like, hey,
(18:29):
this is what's going on. But if I get distracted
and forget what you told me, I just I.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Really do care. I just need you to tell me again.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Where someone may remember every single detail and that's their
gift and they don't have a problem, so therefore they
expect their friends to remember every single detail. I think
that's probably why cat therapy CAT and I get along
so well.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
She has ADHD and.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Also she's a therapist, so she's just you know, she
has a lot of compassion. But I think that she
sees me for how I am and doesn't hold anything
against me. However, I have responsibility to work through that.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
So I know.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
In the years past, there's been times where I forget
a friend's birthday and I have felt horrible about it,
but the story in my head was, eh, I'm just
not really good at remembering people's birthdays, so whatever, Well,
that doesn't make your friends feel very special. And I
also don't want my friends to feel like they're not
important to me. So now I know what I have
to do because of the way my brain is is
(19:22):
I have to be intentional and I have to keep
a calendar and I have updates that pop up on
my phone or my screen and they say, Hey, Kayla's
birthday today. I even have the warning so that like
the week before, I can get make sure I've got
a gift and that they can feel seen on that day.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with that because
(19:43):
I know that I'm catering to my type of brain
that needs the reminder. It doesn't mean I don't care.
It doesn't mean I'm not a good friend. It means
that I'm actually a good friend because I know that
I'll probably.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Forget, so now I'm better. I just wish I had
had that as a tool.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Earlier so that I wouldn't have hurt certain people in
my life. That's just something that is I think misunderstood
at times.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
To answer your question about me, so.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
I'm want to ask the secondary question. So, my husband
was just diagnosed this year with adult add that kind
of like your story. He now like looks back at
his life and he was homeschooled, so his mom was
able to cater to like his needs and stuff, so
it wasn't like the public schools system, you know. But
now as an adult, if you had a friend or
(20:36):
even like like for me as a spouse, what would
be some tools or tricks or tips that you would
want for yourself that maybe I could help my husband
with because it's just hard. It's at a whole other
level of a dynamic, you know, to our relationship.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Yeah, I think that everybody's personality is so unique and different,
Like I don't know y'all's interaction and how you are
as a couple. You know, even the male and the
female brain handle adult add ADHD differently. So I think
my best piece of advice would be there's so many
resources out there for you, especially as a spouse. I
(21:14):
guarantee you someone has done a podcast on it. Mel
Robbins is someone that was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult,
and I know that she was fascinated by it, so
she put out a lot of content in the last
year or so. So I'm sure you could search either
YouTube or podcast and pull up one of her videos
(21:35):
or her talks about it. Because I haven't done enough
research about what would be great to tell other people
what to do, but she has, and so I would
seek out someone that has done the work, and she's
who I can recommend right now, but there might be
other resources out there. I just kind of do some
Google search, and I think it's very awesome, and I
applaud you as a wife wanting to know what are
(21:55):
some things that I can do to come alongside and
best support this instead of well, you probably still get
frustrated at times, right, I mean, that's any relationship, especially
if you're dealing with someone that has add But it's
going to serve you and your relationship better if you
do take the time to do some research, and you
would hope that he would do the same for you
(22:19):
if you are diagnosed with something. And that's what's cool
about relationships when you're in a healthy, loving, caring one,
is you want to take the time to do that
and instead of letting resentment build up about why are
they this way, it's like, well, going back to compassion
and trying to understand, Oh, this is why they're this way,
and you can contribute to making it better. Oh, at
(22:40):
the end of the day, it's on that person. But
there's sometimes where as a partner, like we can add
fuel to the fire and it doesn't help the situation
at all.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Yeah, me asking him if he's taking his benefit of
the day is not the way to help them.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Well, it would be if he's like, Hey, I'm struggling
with remembering to take my medication. Could you remind me? Okay, Well,
then that's great. If y'all haven't had that conversation, and
then now you're coming along nagging like or insinuating that
he is being forgetful, spacey, rambling whatever. Again, the symptoms
(23:15):
are different, then he may get defensive and be like, well,
what are you trying to say, because I actually did
take my meds, so you just think I'm nuts or whatever,
like you build this story in your head. So I
commend you for wanting to figure it out for yourself.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Thank you. It's a it's been a little It's like
validating you know, in a way, but then in other way,
it's like, Okay, this adds like a whole different level
of intimacy almost, of like we have to really have
a conversation about this, and we can't just let it
fly on its own and not have any real conversation
about it. Okay, So my third question is about your kiddos.
(24:07):
When your kids look back on their childhood, what do
you hope they remember or continue to do with their
own kids.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Oh, it's hard to think about my kids having kids
right now. I don't know about that one yet, But
I hope that they can look back and feel seen
for who they are. They're both adopted, but they're not
biological siblings, and even if they were, they would still
be totally different, because at the end of the day,
no two kids are alike, but they are very much different,
(24:36):
and we have to parent them very differently, and they
have to feel seen in different ways, and Ben and
I work really hard at that. It's not easy, but
I want them to know they have a voice and
that we're not here to control them. They're just little humans.
They also did not ask to be adopted in come
(25:00):
into our home, and I think that's a lesson we
got early on of like, we have the gift of
being their parents, and I'm so thankful that God placed
them with us. But I think it was like the
first few months that Stasher was home, we were actually
eating with them or something. I remember being in the
kitchen and we were saying how we're so thankful, and
(25:22):
we were thanking the Lord that they were in our
life and thanking them for coming to be with us
and letting us be their parents. And my daughter said,
I didn't pick this, like, you took me.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Yeah, I wasn't asked.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah wasn't nobody asked me. You took me.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
And she was probably eleven, had just turned eleven years
old at the time when we brought her here. She
was ten, And I thought, wow, I will never forget
that moment. And we didn't get defended, we didn't get
sorry offended, because I think some reaction would be, are
they not grateful for what we have done? Did they
know what kind of life they have and where? But
she had a great life according to her. I mean, yeah,
(26:02):
she was at an orphanage in one of well not
the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
But she had her friends and Haiti was her life.
That's all she knew.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
She had the food, she loved, she had the language
that she was familiar with. She's cool, and we up
and bring her to America. New language, new friends, new home,
new people, a mom, a dad. They're just things that
were so unfamiliar to her. And when things are familiar,
it's more comfortable. Whether it's good or bad, it's what's comfortable.
(26:33):
So that was uncomfortable for her, and I was very
proud of her for being able to voice that and
share that with us. And I think that that was
the start of us trying to understand how to show
up as their parents and how to treat the fact
that they are now here and that we did take
them and nobody did ask them at all, and that
(26:54):
they have this whole other life that they're probably very
curious about still. And I would love to take them
back to Haiti. Ben and I both would and maybe
we will get to one day. It's just the civil
unrest there has gone completely downhill since the adoption. Like
every year, it's progressively gotten worse since we brought them home,
which I'm thankful we were able to sort of be
(27:16):
ahead of some of the chaos that's going on there
right now. But I feel for Haiti, pray for them.
Often it's the struggle there is very, very, very real.
So those are the times too that I'm so thankful
that they're here with us, because I love them so much,
and it would be so hard, you know, if they
(27:38):
were still there. I guess if they were, I don't
know if I would have been matched with them, or
they would even be my kids, so I wouldn't really
know who they were. But I'm just glad that they're
here under my roof, and I hope that their birth
moms know. We don't know much about their birth dads,
but we do know some about their birth moms, and
I just I want their birth moms to know they're here,
they're safe, We're trying to be the best parents possible
(27:59):
to them, and so yeah, I guess back to your question,
is I hope they remember feeling seen, feeling safe, feeling loved,
provided for that, we gave him opportunities, stuff along the
line of that, but probably mostly just seen, because I
feel like oftentimes as kids, we just don't feel like
(28:21):
we have a say in anything. And I think as
parents or as adults, sometimes we do a disservice to
ourselves by treating kids in that way, because there's a
lot we can learn.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
I agree. Do you ever feel like you're healing the
inner child when you're parenting that way? Oh?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Yeah, I mean there's a whole book about that. Yeah. Yeah,
are you familiar?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
No? OK?
Speaker 3 (28:45):
But sometimes I look at my seven year old, well
he'll be seven in October, and he looks if he
had my long brown hair, like we would look like
twins at that age. And sometimes when I'm parenting here,
I'm like, I like the little Kayla and me just
feel so happy right now. Yeah, So the last question
(29:07):
I have, and then I also have four things I'm
grateful for because I figured, uh, maybe you would ask
the question, but what would you tell yourself ten years
ago to help enhance your life like now? And do
you think you would have believed yourself.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah, I would have believed myself if I could go
back and tell so what I am forty two now
is thirty two? Ooh, thirty two would be a perfect
time because I lost my mom at thirty three, and
I think I would go back And there's a lot
I could say about that, but one thing that is
popping into my head right now is codependency. So I
(29:44):
think I would believe myself because I would just like
leave myself this book called Codependent No More and that
would have helped me a lot ten years ago for sure.
And yeah, I would have believed myself somehow. I put
a note, read this, I promise you won't regret it.
Love Amy at forty.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Two, Yeah, I kind of listened to your whole the
whole time, like your dad was moving in and then
when he passed and you are on the train of
like ask the questions and write down the recipes, and
when he started talking about that, you know, I am
like ten years younger than you. So that's kind of
(30:23):
why I asked that question, because like you'd be talking
to me at my age now.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Well, No, that's great that you mentioned that, because Codependent
No More was in my head and then I was like,
oh shoot, I was thirty two. I lost my thirty three,
and so much about my world was rocked when I
lost my mom. And I never experienced excruciating pain like
that or loss and grief in such a way. It
(30:50):
derailed me. I mean, I was a hot mess. So
that's where I was thinking, Like I could go off
on a lot of different things I could tell myself,
but then we'd probably be all day. But I love
that you said that because it's an excellent, easy thing
that other people can take in as wisdom for themselves,
and it's that you never know what tomorrow brings. So
(31:12):
if there are things that you want to collect from
loved ones in your life, information, stories, recipes, whatever, do
it asap so that way you've got it.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Yeah, when you were talking about like wishing that you
had had the recipes that your dad used to cook
because you weren't able to eat them when he was
actually making them, right, it like it hit a spot
inside of me of like I need to get those.
Like the way that you were able to speak it
into the world was the exact way I needed to
(31:46):
hear it, and like my husband were doing the same
thing like just gathering things while you're still able to
gather them. So thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
That's smart and you're totally right. I would love to
hear four things that you're thankful for. I loved what
you've had to offer in between your questions, and so
I'm curious to see what your gratitude looks like.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
The first thing is my husband, who's a true team player,
and my two boys who are able to be themselves
in this world without fear. My second is the ability
to work my dream job from home, which is one
of the pluses of COVID. You know, everybody was able
to work from home. The ability to use social media
(32:30):
and WebEx zoom, face time to stay connected to family
and friends. And then the new ability to afford good
vitamins and therapy, which has been like changing. Yeah, which
is a new one, the vitamins and therapy. Being a
pastoral family, you don't have a lot of extra spending money.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
It's more lean. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
Yeah, So now that I am working from home, we're
able to do those things and it's just not like
a night and day difference with you know, just being
able to live like at a higher level, I feel
like like a higher personal level.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
That's so great just feeling good. Yeah, yeah, I love.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
That for you, and you know it just it takes
you to another level of appreciation for even because knowing
that it wasn't a resource available to you, and now
it has become we have to think of there's so
many people out there where it's just literally not even
an option, and gosh, wouldn't it be great something as
simple as mental health and vitamins nutrients, things that again
(33:37):
just help us live and think and operate at a
higher level.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Like that's just basic human needs.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
That you would love for all people to be able
to have. So I'm sure you have a deep appreciation
for that.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Yeah, and being able to show my kids the importance
of it. I don't know about you, but like, growing up,
we had a flint Stone vite every day and that
just doesn't cut it. When I think back on like
what was actually in the Flintstone vitamin, I think we
got more sugar than anything else, which, you know, something
is better than nothing.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
But right, I mean, hey, I love a good gummy vitamin.
But yeah, there's there's something to be said about that.
And I'm still doing a little case study on my
daughter Tashira, like they love the foods that they love,
and they just despise a lot of other things. Stevenson
is a pretty good vegetable eater. He loves just eating
(34:31):
lettuce out of the box, which there's a lot of
nutrients in the mixed greens that he likes, especially the
dark leafy mixed greens.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Stashira won't touch one with tim foot pole, like.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I think. There's one time where I broke off, like
I'm like a teeny tiny speck, like a sea salt
speck of green lettuce and like dropped it in her food,
and she's like, what is this? But I drink athletic
greens every day, and she started drinking it, and I
get that that's not an option for a lot of people.
(35:02):
So I'm very thankful. But I thought when she tried it,
she was gonna hate it. I even never thought to
even give it to her. One day, she got curious
and she just said, I want to try it. And
I literally said, which I shouldn't have even put this
in her head, but I said, you're not gonna like it.
And I thought, why would I speak negativity, because sure
enough she tasted it.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
But sure enough, she proved me wrong, is my point.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
So I was like, oh, I'm glad my negativity didn't
interfere with her original thought, which was that this is
not that bad. So she has started to drink it
every morning, and I swear to you, and again, I
want to do more research. I'm not making any type
of claim here. All I know is what I see
in my home and in her overall personality. And I
(35:47):
think that there's some vital nutrient, mineral, whatever that she
was lacking that that's now giving her. And I think
it is she's now operating at a higher level, like
it's doing something for how she was feeling. And it's
either a really odd coincidence or it's something else that
(36:07):
I don't know of yet. That's a pretty major change,
going from nothing like that to than drinking. But I
think I was seventy five different rimmer minerals every day
or vitamins and nutrients, so you know, in gut health
they say is so important, like can affect your mood,
and I know it's like a prebiotic, probiotic, and I thought, well,
(36:28):
I mean I do feel good. That's why I've drunk
it for years, been has been on it. I don't
know why we never thought, which again, I don't even know.
I need to look up if it's even four kids.
I mean, she's almost seventeen, so I'm not so much worried.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
About her, but other influencer kids, yeah, you know, drink it.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
But yeah, well I've taken it for a long time
and they've reached out to me about doing some Instagram stuff.
I've run ads on the podcast for them before, and
I know it's just sometimes when you see it online
so much, I never want people to think like, oh,
I'm just hopping in on some trend and being an influencer.
(37:07):
But I don't know if this to share stuff, if
there's something to it. And I know how been and
I feel, and I'm like, well, why not if I
can give someone like if there's a code or they
can get something for free with it in some way,
shape or form. But I just know I feel the
same way you do, Like when you said that in
quotes people, I know people can't see you with like
(37:28):
influencer thing that sometimes it either goes one way where
we're super thankful for something that someone shared with us
and we've tried it and we're like wow, this is amazing,
and maybe a lot of people are talking about it,
but we're just not seeing it all the time, or
we see like everybody talking about it and we're kind
of like, is that even true? Or are they just
(37:48):
like getting paid to say this. I can just guaranteing
to you if you hear me talk about anything, I've
either spent my own money about it or I have
been like adamant about the company has to send me
something and I want to try it and see how
I feel about it, and then we'll go from there.
And I either do endorsements where it's like I have
used this, or I may lend my voice to where
(38:09):
I haven't personally used it, but I either know someone
that has, or I think the company has a good
enough reputation to where I feel okay lending my voice
to the brand.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
Yeah, and I think if you know, like someone like
me who has, you know, we have this connection with
you that's different than looking at somebody for fifteen seconds
a day and then them trying to sell something that
you know you just don't have that same connection with. So, yeah,
I never feel like you're selling anything that you either
(38:42):
haven't used or that you're getting paid for.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
I think with the AG one thing is probably like
a just letting you in behind the curtain a little bit.
I think with Instagram, I did turn it down even
though I'm using it, because I kept seeing it everywhere.
But then I'm like, well, why can't they be using
it and loving it too? It doesn't mean that it's
(39:08):
you can't join in in any way.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
And one of my.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Friends was like, so what you do use it every
day and if they want to give you a code
and have you post about it, and yeah, it's a
win win for everybody. Why would you not just because
you keep seeing it everywhere.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
The online social media Instagram influencer space is so bizarre
because that's not the category I put myself in. I
AM Radio started out in radio seventeen years ago when
there was no social media and we were connecting with
our listeners and that's what we still do to this day.
But there's different layers to it now. There's the radio show,
(39:46):
there's podcasts, and then there's an extension which is social media.
And it's a fine line. Sometimes I don't really know
sometimes exactly how to show up. I just know that
I want to show up as my if I'm feeling overwhelmed,
then I don't have to, or if it's stressing me out,
but I try not to put too much emphasis on
it and yeat.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
At the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
The world has shifted to that space, and if I'm
on there, I don't know that I need to overanalyze
if a company wants me to share something or partner
on something, and I don't need to overthink it, Like
if people end up resonating with it and they want it, great,
If they want to tap on through it, great.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
I guess I just had.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Spent so many years not ever doing anything and it
felt like such an influencing, influencery.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
Type of thing.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
But I do commercials on the radio all day long,
and I don't think twice about that because that was
just the norm for me, and who knows, maybe it'll
become more of the norm. And not that I want
to just post stuff or products all day long. I
have a laundry list of things I say no to
all the time, but there's some stuff it would just
be silly for me to not share and make it
(40:55):
a win win.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
So that's all that.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Was total tangent by the way of me working through
my own crap, worrying about what other people are going
to think of me, and at the end of the day,
I shouldn't be worrying about that.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Well, when she was posting about the whitening streep, yeah
the Lumino, I was like, yes, she needs to play
under her hustler core value that I feel like she has,
because that will take her so far.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
Oh yes, And that's an example of a company that
had reached out to me and I had not used
their whitening strips, so I said, I don't feel as
though it'll be authentic. However, my six year old daughter
is next to me and she's been begging me for
whitening strips and I have been like, no, whatever, you
don't need that law.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
But if she was like, oh, tell them, I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
So I send off this email, thinking again, my negative
Nancy head, they're not going to let her do this.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
And they replied back, They're like, hey, let's give that
a try. That sounds great.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
And you know, not every kid has their mom's social
media to hop been on and post stuff, and she
she knows that and I've made that very clear, you know.
So she is getting compensated, but it's stuff that we're
going to put away for her for her education. And
I'm proud of her for doing it. And she's got
a few more coming up with them. I think in September.
(42:17):
There's like a toothbrush thing, like, so she's expanding beyond
just the whitening strips. So she kind of got her
own brand partnership. And sometimes I have to get onto
her like, hey, you need to go do this video.
I have to do that, and she sees me as
her mom, and I'm like, hey, I'm just gonna connect
you directly with the brand because this is not coming
from me. You wanted to do this, you asked for it,
they agreed, you signed up for it, and so why
(42:39):
don't you start communicating with them because I don't want
you to think I'm trying to come in here and
make you do this video right now.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
It's just literally do right now.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
So like, yeah, you're you're going to learn a hard
lesson about deadlines when you're working with other people. And
this isn't a mom deadline, this is a businessline. And
that's a business decision that you made.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Now that's really cool, and I think that you know, like,
as a parent, you want your kids to eventually be
able to stand up on your shoulders, or at least
for me, like, I don't want them to ever be
on my level. I just want them to succeed way
far beyond what, you know, what I could. I think
that's how we grow as a society. So giving her
the ability to learn how to you know, exist in
(43:25):
the real world, but then also have this online you know,
brand deal is kind of the way of the future.
So it's cool that one day she might be teaching
other people that are her peers the five years of
experience she has when she is in college and other
kids are wanting to get brand deals. It's just cool
to you know, we all, we all have those little
things that our parents are able to do for us
(43:47):
that other parents aren't able to do because of our
jobs or because of you know, the their experience, and
so I think it's cool that that she has that opportunity.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I'm proud of her.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
Well, Kayla, this has been awesome, very thankful for your
questions and you sharing gratitude, and I love your shirt
so much. Tell all your friends, I said.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
Hi, I will, I will, you know, I.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Know that cat Therapy cat from Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
The fifth thing is where you hear us probably say
that the most, but I love a lot of cats
sayings have the day you need to have. And I
love that she puts that on her merch and whatnot.
So it's pretty cool you got your own friend merch.
Speaker 3 (44:30):
Yeah, her podcast pulled me out of a really dark
spot and I said, hi.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
I will and again, her podcast is called you Need Therapy.
She's got two episodes that go up every week on
Mondays and Wednesdays if people want to check that out,
because yes, she's absolutely awesome. And yeah, Kayla, tell your family.
I said, hey, now you can tell your husband we
really are.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Yes we are friend Amy.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Yes you've now met face to face so he can
take that.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
And yeah, I hope you all have a good rest
of your year. I feel like we're to that point.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
I don't want to be like, you know, have a
good year, but we're I was at Costco the other
day and they've got Christmas trees out, so here we are.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
I had my first in my business world, like we'll
catch you next year because they take the fourth quarter
off and I'm like, we're already there. It's only September.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
Also, what kind of amazing company is this that takes
the fourth quarter off?
Speaker 1 (45:23):
I know, beautiful.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
I don't think that they take everything off. They just
take like off like marketing and stuff. So he's like
the rep in the medical world.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
So like, okay, okay, that might make sense. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
I was just like, well, circle back in January. What
are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (45:38):
It's that time. Yeah, you're welcome, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
I'm glad we got to sit down and do this,
and we hadn't done a listener Q and A in
a while anyway, so I'm glad that was part of
the iHeart giveaway and that you want it and we
got to sit down and do this, and we'll just
have to start bringing back listener Q and as more
and more. But some of that's just knowing my bandwidth
and sometimes I have these ideas and they sound great
and I want to go all in and then I'm like, oh,
(46:04):
I need to reel some stuff back in. But this
was a lot of fun and it's definitely making me
want to do it more. So thank you, Kayla, thank you,
bye bye.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Thank
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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