All Episodes

November 11, 2023 11 mins

OUTWEIGH: Amy and Leanne are back for PART 5 of the 5-part Self-Image series called "Do You Know Your True Value and Worth?", where they take a deep dive into the concept of "Self Endorsement".

 It's not practical or even possible for anyone (specially women) to completely disregard what others think about them. However, what is possible is learning to value your own opinion of yourself (even just a little bit) more than someone else's opinion of you.

Imagine a world where you might LIKE that validation, but you don't NEED external endorsement to determine your own self-worth, beauty, or desirability. That is the conversation that Amy and Leanne invite you into in this episode, helping you to ultimately reshape your own self-image in a more empowering way.

 

HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
HOST: Leanne Ellington // @leanneellington // StresslessEating.com

To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning love who I am.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
I get, I'm strong, I feel free, I know every
part of me.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
It's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way if you feel it
but your hands and there she'll some love to the
h I get. That's take you one day and did
you and die out way?

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here?

Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hello, Hello, It's Leanne and.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
We're to the final ingredients of our finding your True
Value and Worth cookie that we're making.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
And the question is do you know your true value
and worth?

Speaker 3 (00:50):
And hopefully as you've worked through each of these ingredients
the last five Saturdays or today's day five, you know
you'll have a better understanding of what it'll like for
you to work towards knowing your worth and your value
and so ingredient five is your version of self endorsement, Nellian,
What does that mean?

Speaker 1 (01:08):
You'll notice there's so much crossover even what we talked
about last week with self worth. But we're wired to
just care what other people think about us. You know,
we are I care what you think about me? Amy,
That's and I'm unapologetic about it because I'm human, right,
and you care what people think about you. It's just
how we're wired. But what happens is is when we
don't have a sense of self and we don't feel
what I call self endorse like ability to see the

(01:31):
value and worthiness in ourselves, and we're so dependent on
getting it from other people. When it's so out of
balance like that, it can be really harmful. And so
this idea of self endorsement is again, it's not even
possible to not care what other people think about you.
But what is possible is for you to elevate how
you care and what you think and how you value
yourself and the way you see and perceive yourself and

(01:54):
be your own champion and be your own supporter and
not in this kind of You know a lot of
people think, well, is that is that cocky? Is that condescending?
Is that braggadocious? Is it vain? You know? And I say, no,
that your self endorse self just knows who you are.
You're unapologetic about it. But then we talked about this
distinction last week too, about desire versus require. It's like, yes,

(02:14):
absolutely desire that people also see the beauty and the
value in who you are, but not solely relying on
it to feel it for yourself, being able to self
endorse self, you know, validate almost not exclusively, but primarily,
and it will create so much more resilience in you.
It will enrich your relationship with yourself, enrich your relationship

(02:36):
with others. You'll be able to actually receive compliments and
endorsement from other people because it's aligned with how you
perceive yourself. So really it's a self perception conversation.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
I'm just picturing someone finally getting the hang of this
me included, and like hearing someone say something back to
them that they already recognize in themselves and receive it
and just be like, yeah, you know.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yeah, absolutely totally. Yep, I've read received that.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, that's sounds that right. I've been working on that,
thank you for sure.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
And it's compartmentalized, and it's such a journey, Like I
don't want anybody think it's this like one and done thing.
I mean, you remember, Amy, a few weeks ago, I
came to you and we were experiencing something and something
happened in my life and I was sharing with you
and I was like, I don't have a muscle for this,
so I'm not self endorsed in this capacity, like I'm
self endorsed in this area of my life, been in
this I'm not. So I'm still figuring out what self
endorsement right now in this capacity, and this circumstance looks

(03:31):
like and giving ourselves permission to be coachable and imperfect
and on a journey and never like this. I believe
mastery is this lifelong conversation, so you know, and finding
next levels of yourself, like what do they say, new level,
new devils, So as you're going to the next level
of your life and new challenges, you might have to
find that next level of endorsement. But it's available to you.

(03:53):
But again, it will never be found in Oh. I
hope that when I get to a certain weight, then
I'll finally see the beauty of who I am. And
I hope when you know somebody else thinks I'm cool,
then I'll finally feel cool. No, you've got to be
able to generate that within yourself.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
I feel like you have to be your biggest cheerleader,
and that's not always easy. But I'm like even picturing,
like inside my head little cheerleaders with their little pom poms,
and sometimes they have to like congratulate me, or when
I do something well, I try to acknowledge it and
exercise that muscle. So therefore it feels more natural and

(04:28):
more normal. Like you were saying, it's not a bragging thing.
It doesn't even have to be out loud. You could
be in your journal or just inside your head with
your little cheerleaders. But that's how I picture it, or
how I've had to ever since. I mean Land once
gave me homework to, you know, just sort of brag
about myself in my journal or write down all the
things that you've done well this week and that you're.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Yeah, what are you doing well? What are you proud of?

Speaker 3 (04:54):
And I journaled through that, and I think that that's
when the little little cheerlead in my head had to
show up to be like, Okay.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, we can do this right well.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Our brains are wired towards something called a negativity bias.
So it is just as our brains are wired, we
are wired to look for what we're not doing, who
we're not being, what's not working all of that. It's
also you know, any of us that are high achieving
and we're go getters. Like again, you might be waking
up thinking like what did I not get done on
my to do list? Like what where am I behind?
And that's okay, but that's why it's also important. So

(05:26):
it's not like those those negative air quotes, negative voices
or critical voices are going to just magically go away, right,
But what we want to do is we want to
build us a part of our self image that shows
up with little pomp poms, you know, like our little
cheerleader with pomp poms in the face of those other
parts of us where we might be looking at where

(05:46):
what we're not doing, or who we're not being, or
what we're not proud of. Right, But then it's also
a matter of like this reframing can be really powerful.
So for example, if anybody is listening to this and
they have toxic shame about their past, you know, maybe
what they where they think they should be by now,
or what they're not doing, or something that happened to them.
And I'm not telling you to go paint roses and

(06:07):
butterflies over things that really cause you pain. But sometimes
I can look at the pain and I can say,
you know what, I'm so proud of who I showed
up as in the face of that pain or despite
what happened to me or that traumatic experience in my life.
I'm so proud of the version of myself I went
and like, you know, gritted my way to become so
that that didn't happen again, or I was better prepared

(06:29):
to handle it. And so again it's a choice, and
it's almost a reframe. But even the same data, the
same set of circumstances, we could look at where we
you know, let ourselves down or where we air quotes
regret things. But again, does that serve us, like can
we reframe it and be like, you know what, I
don't have to like that that just happened. In fact,
it can outright suck. But I'm really proud of this part,

(06:50):
or I'm proud of who I am becoming, like be
proud in advance of who you are becoming. It's like
almost again drawing that line in the sand. So we
do have a choice.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
My friend gave me this analogy the other day about
something different that we were discussing, and she was talking
about when you are driving and looking through the big
windshield up ahead of you, and where you're going and
all the roads that lie ahead, and it's huge compared
to the little rear view mirror that's up in the
top center. That you do get to look behind you,

(07:20):
but the majority of your drive is spent looking ahead
and where you're going. And yes, do you need the
rearview mirror. Absolutely, does it serve you in certain ways, yes,
but you could not get to a destination by looking
in the rearview mirror the whole time. And so I
just like that picture of if you're starting this journey
towards discovering your true value and your worth, Yeah, there's

(07:44):
things that are going to be in your rear view mirror,
for sure, but I just encourage you in this final ingredient,
with the endorsement you believing in yourself and knowing what
you're capable of, to look ahead and look at all
the different roads out there that you're going to get
to explore on and drive on, and you get to
make choices and you're going to go this.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
Way or that way.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
But it's sort of like the world is your oyster,
and there's so much more to offer when you're looking
through the big windshield instead of through the tiny rearview mirror.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Yeah, it's such a great analogy and such a great picture.
And just imagine yourself driving and you're like, oh, opportunity ahead,
opportunity ahead, but you're literally missing them or crashing into
them because you're so focused on what's in the rear
view mirror. So a lot of us are being held
down and held back by shame.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Resent.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
We're punishing ourselves for what we didn't do. And to that,
I just say, like, it already happened, you know, And
again you don't have to like it. But if you're
constantly looking in the rear view mirror, you're gonna miss
what's ahead of you. But also the way that you're
looking in the rear view mirror, if you don't shift
your gaze and reframe that, you're gonna look in the
front view mirror the same way. It's not going to
magically change if you get to a certain weight, gene size, bank,

(08:53):
balanced relationship status, fill in the blank. And I mean
that with love.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
Yeah, I say this with love and we've received it.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yes, love Well Leanne five ingredients.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
It's like a not a hard recipe, but at the
same time it's a hard recipe because you might have
to go listen to it over and over or ask
yourself some of the questions over and over, but eventually
the cookies are going to come out of the oven
just right.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yeah, And you know, I truly believe that it's a
recipe that will just always meet you where you are.
Like again, and don't look at it like a one
and done thing, you know, I'm always looking at like,
who do I want to be ten years from now,
twenty years from now, obviously looking in the in the
front room view mirror as well, but like it will
meet you where you are, and it's almost like a
truth telling recipe of who you want to be. Like
I feel like sometimes when we look through the goggles

(09:39):
of things like bank balance or gene size or what
we ate that day, it's a lie. It lies to us,
it deceives us, you know. And to me, this is truth,
this is love, this is grace, this is acceptance, and
it's a recipe that it will get better over time,
just like a good chocolate chip cookie recipe.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
And I think I said eventually they'll come out just right.
And I'm glad you mentioned and too that the work
is never over though, so eventually you'll have to start
another batch.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, exactly, and then you'll.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Figure those out too. I think, yeah, the work is
never done. It's a journey. I think Ali Fallon had
said something one time, either on my podcast or hers,
I can't remember where I heard it, and she was
talking about how she was in therapy for however long,
like a very long time, and one of her friends
said something like, well, maybe it's time you find a

(10:26):
new therapist, because like, shouldn't you be done with therapy
by now? And she's like, what, I don't ever want
to stop working on myself. And so this is just
something for you to add to your toolbox when it
comes to working on yourself.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
These five ingredients. Leanne, Where can people find y?

Speaker 1 (10:41):
You can head on over to Leannellington dot com. I'm
also Leanne Ellington on Instagram and if you want to
hear all about the inside out, nitty gritty of rewiring
your brain, you can check out my free master cross
over there too.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
And I'll brag on Leanne's other podcast. It's called What's
God Got to Do with It? And she just had
a really cool note from someone that randomly found her
podcast that definitely was in a season of life where
they really needed a podcast like hers, and they were
wrestling with some stuff we still don't know.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
Lanna and I were talking.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
I wonder how they even found you, but they were
so excited because they're part of this other group and
they're like, Oh, this podcast is really going to help
some of my other peers, and I'm going to share
it with them.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
And it's just.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
Really cool sometimes how people stumble upon some of the
work that you're doing, whether it's a podcast or maybe
a blog that you have, or maybe you're listening and
you've a talk you put up somewhere, or a book
you've written or whatever. It's just interesting sometimes. Maybe even
those of you listening to outweigh right now how you
got here. Maybe you don't even know, but we're glad
you're here. And I'm at Radio AM on Socials and

(11:42):
we'll see you next Saturday.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
Bye bye,

Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News

Advertise With Us

Follow Us On

Host

Amy Brown

Amy Brown

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.

24/7 News: The Latest

24/7 News: The Latest

The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.