December 16, 2023 • 14 mins
OUTWEIGH: Welcome to the "The Redefine to Align" Series, a new 4 part series here on Outweigh where we are going to dive headfirst into the transformative journey of redefining typical words or paradigms in our lives that might NOT be aligning us in the direction we WANT to go.
Amy and Leanne are here to help you navigate the challenging landscape of the holiday season, where societal pressures and external expectations often dictate your sense of accomplishment, and this first episode was designed to be a source of hope and inspiration to redefine YOUR own definitions of success.
Their goal is simply to challenge the conventional notions tied to success, unraveling the 'typical' narratives that are tied to success -- things like weight loss, food choices, and exercise metrics -- that often overshadow the intrinsic value within each of us, and take us OUT of alignment.
By examining these subtle yet profound shifts in your mindset, what would happen if you detached from external validations and began cultivating a more authentic definition of success —-- one that resonates from YOU and where you are in your journey? THAT is the journey they are inviting you into.
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
HOST: Leanne Ellington // @leanneellington // StresslessEating.com
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am again. I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then we'll always out way if you feel.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It with your hands in the air, She'll some love
to the vid. Why get there?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Take you one day?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Anita?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Did you and die out way?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Hey? Samy Brown here alongside Leanne Ellington, and this is
a four part series called Redefine to a Line. We're
gonna talking about redefining success, redefining boundaries, stress results, and
each of those things will be over the next four weeks, respectively.
So our goal here is to offer you a weekly
(00:56):
dose of hope and encouragement in a season that just
has well some challenges. The holiday season is here, and
we want to acknowledge the unique struggles that many women face,
whether it's with food or with body image. And I mean, Lane,
you can speak to this too. But there's just stress
and you'arine festivities and all of that can just pile
(01:20):
on potential family time which could lead to family drama
and stuff like that. So what are the holidays like
for you, And might I say, this is my first
time recording with Leanne since she has gotten married, So
missus Ellington is now going to come in and being
that this is your first Christmas as a wife, do
(01:41):
you feel like it's going to be easier, breezier or
a little more stressful because I don't know the family dynamic.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Yeah, it's a good question, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I think a lot of people think, oh, holidays, rainbows, butterflies,
But for a lot of people the holiday can be
really challenging emotionally. Maybe it brings up old memories, maybe
it triggers old stress habits, maybe it brings us back
or regresses us to a version of ourself that we
don't like to be. And then of course it can
be a happy time.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
One of the things that I've been doing for the
past few years really intentionally, and I also invite my
clients into this as well, is what if this season
was the perfect time to kind of slow down and destress,
And what if you could rewrite that script so that
it didn't have to be so much hustle and bustle
and craziness and you could literally just custom craft it.
(02:30):
The way that you need it. So in answer to
your question, it's been a busy season. We just got married,
then we had Thanksgiving, and then you know, the little
trip that we went on as a married couple, and
this is his busy season at work. So we've already decided,
like we're going to both be working, but we're going
to have a.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Mellow, chill holiday season.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
And I think in a world that kind of values
the hustle and the busy and all of that, that's
unheard of. But we've just decided that, and then we've
invited our friends and family into that. When they ask
us what we're doing, we're like, hey, we're going to
have a pretty chill holiday season. If you want to
connect with us, let us know. But like, this is
where we're at. We're just kind of in that de
stressing mode. So again that's my personal stance on it.
(03:11):
But the point being is we get to decide who
and how we want to experience our life in any
time of the year.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
And so when it comes to redefining success and people
focusing on that, since that's what we're talking about first
during this holiday season, what's your encouragement for people when
it comes to that.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
When we're talking about redefining anything, and in today's topic,
we're talking about this idea of success, which can be
a very convoluted topic, right because so many people have
different definitions. When we talk about rewiring our brains and
learning a new language, almost I think it's so important
to redefine even the language that we're using. So today
we're talking about success, but oftentimes what happens is we
(03:52):
end up just having the definitions that we have. We
inherit them, we learn them, we pick them up for
media nowadays, a lot of it's social media and influencers
and you name it. And so I think, you know,
the biggest thing is just to realize, wait a minute,
I didn't necessarily vote on that, you know, I didn't
vote on that definition, and giving ourselves permission to redefine it.
And this is one of the biggest things I have
to do with my clients because their old definitions are
(04:14):
following an old paradigm. And what we're learning is is
that if we want to be different, we need to
do and see and behave differently. Right, But if we
are using old definitions of success, So coming back to
the kind of theme of this podcast where if you
are in you have maybe a complicated relationship with food
in your body historically, maybe.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
You've swayed towards the disordered side.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Or the or in eating disorder specifically, maybe you are
stuck in that binge restrict cycle. Maybe you're just so
caught up in like the confusion and the overwhelming you're
at that point where you're like, I don't even know
what to do, think, say anymore when it comes to
food in my body. Like, wherever you are on that spectrum,
most likely you learned a paradigm around success. And I
know for my clients what they learned was like, Okay,
(04:57):
success is either I did a certain number of work
outs or I didn't do a certain number of workouts.
It's all this stuff that lives outside of us. But
when we think about our definitions of success and who
we want to be when we're talking about this, you know,
the possibilities that we talk about on this podcast, it's
about freedom from that restriction in that prison. It's about
peace of mind in our head, our heart, our spirit,
our bodies. It's about acceptance and learning what that even
(05:20):
feels like if we've never known what that feels like.
But if we look at the world's definition of success,
which is in that paradigm of eat less, move more, harder, faster, more,
don't do this, can't do that, not allowed to have that,
need to have to suppose to healthy, unhealthy.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I could go on and on. We are going to
get lost.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
And then of course we look at social media and
it's this other you know, whirlwind. So in terms of
redefining success, you know, this is where I invite people
to come back to taking the physical out of it, right,
because the physical really just follows the mental, emotional, spiritual, soul, brain,
all the things.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Who do you want to be? And how do you
want to feel?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
And when I ask my clients, the number one thing
I hear is they're like, I just want the constant
mental chatter to stop. I just want to feel peace.
The second thing I hear most often is freedom. They
just want to be free. They don't want this controlling
their lives. But if your definition of success is playing
the game of the opposite of peace, you know, or
(06:17):
the opposite of freedom, you are going to be left
as a you know, an air quotess victim to the
definition that you're using. So again that's why it's so
important to redefine success. So for me, success is like
am I feeling peace? Am I feeling more and more acceptance?
Am I feeling more and more freedom? And those are
the kinds of reframes that I truly believe need to happen,
(06:38):
which I know is simple, not easy when we've been
living in this paradigm forever, but it needs to at
least start if we want to ever truly be peaceful,
free and self accepting.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Yeah, I was thinking about how some of what I
defined as success, like if I had a successful day
that was a twenty four hour period, if at any point,
I guess some of that I'm sleep, so let's call
it the sixteen hours that I'm awake, Like it needed
to be successful in that window, because if I wasn't,
(07:08):
I've blown it for the day and that would lead
it was a domino effect. And so I think that
this is a time of year two with the holidays,
where we look ahead to January first at times, and
if you may feel like, well, if I wasn't successful
in how I wanted to be or connect with myself
or and this isn't even just food related, I mean
(07:31):
for me at the time when I had all these rules,
it was but I could see how it's like if
you have a goal to journal in the morning or meditate,
but you don't do it one day in the month
of December, then you're like, Okay, forget it, I'll just
start January first.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
And so that's where my mind is going right now.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
And because of the chaos of the season, sometimes there
are different stressors which are triggers in a sense that
may cause you to give up on something or something
that otherwise isn't giving you peace or whatnot. Because sometimes
I will say, you may need to eat it to
give you peace, and I have learned that in recovery
(08:09):
for sure, and that we're not saying what's good or
bad to eat by any means, Like that's not what
this is about. It's just that back to Land's point
of peace, like what is going to help you feel
more peace? And it's sort of like, I just don't
want to throw out the month of December just because
January one is on the horizon, and you know, you
don't take time to invest in yourself and then redefine
(08:32):
that success because you may, for lack of a better
way to say it, may mess up at some point
and not accomplish whatever it is you wanted to accomplish
in a day. But please don't see that as your
entire day is now screwed up and you need to
roll it over. How about just reset in that moment
and land Do you have any tips for that to
(08:53):
just reset the day?
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Because gosh, that type of.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Mentality for me, when I was stuck in it was
so exhaust and I feel like December is going to
be a long month if we're just keep being like,
oh fine, oh wait till January, Oh fine, oh wait
till January.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah, and you you.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Bring up so many beautiful points, and really my answer
to that is, if you're gonna redefine success, you have
to redefine failure, right, because what's happening is when we're
living in that all or nothing, black white on off
you know, air quotes wagon right where there's a start
and a stop, and like if you air quotes mess up,
then like you know, forget about it, wait till January.
(09:30):
That kind of mindset, that kind of paradigm, right, because again,
that is its own paradigm for success. Then anytime that
you do something that's out of alignment with what you
originally committed to. If you deem that a failure, then
again you're gonna kind of end up back where you were,
only this time. The next time you go to start,
you're gonna believe yourself less and less, because then you
have that thought process of great, this is just another
(09:51):
thing I started, I didn't finish, and now I'm a failure, right, failure, failure,
failure is it actually can become like an automated mechanism
in our brain, just like success can. So one of
the things that I did for myself that set me
gave me so much freedom. And about ten years ago,
I decided that I was only going to use the
word fail. The only way I could fail was if
I totally turned my back on my dream. Okay, So,
(10:14):
if you have a dream of freedom, if you have
a dream of finding peace around food and within your
body and within yourself, if you have a dream of
self acceptance, that is a lifelong dream, and so not
eating a certain way or not measuring up to a
certain standard that you may be committed to at the
beginning of the month does not equate to a failure.
But to me, and this is my own personal definition,
(10:35):
and I think we should all, you know, take the
pen and write our own But to me, my only
definition of failure is if I completely abandon myself and
turn my back on my dream. And that's when it
makes me come back to purpose. It's like, no, this
isn't a failure. This is just the nonlinear part of
my journey. And I remind myself that it's not linear, right,
But that's why it's so important to redefine success by
(10:55):
our own terms, but then also redefine failure because you
can't fail if you just keep coming back, keep coming back,
keep coming back to the big goal at mind.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Okay, so let's wrap with how we can rewrite our
own success, our own definition for us. Now we're we're
all individuals, so it may look a little bit different,
But do you have a prompt of sorts that can
help get us off the ground as we look to
redefine it for what it looks like for us.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
So the big definition right now of the old paradigm
is I feel most successful when I'm doing. But the
paradigm I want to invite people into is I feel
most successful when I am feeling. So when I'm feeling again,
we talked about the three big ones piece acceptance and freedom.
But when I'm feeling like I'm in integrity with my word,
when I'm feeling like I'm focused and directed, when I'm
(11:43):
feeling like I'm moving towards health, when i feel like
I'm showing up for myself and showing up for others
and contributing, and just like keep filling in the blank
and see what works for you.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
But like really come back to because at the end
of the day, success is something that you.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Feel or don't feel. It's not that you do or
don't do. So that's where I invite you. You know,
how do you want to feel? And are your current
measuring sticks of success like did I eat a certain way,
do a number certain number of workouts? All the you
know kind of worldly stuff that we're using to divine
our definition of success. Is that helping you feel the
way that you want to feel nine times out of ten,
it's not it's where you're going to feel the shame,
(12:19):
the blame, the guilt, the comparisonitis, the perfectionism, the self rejection,
all the things. So coming from your current paradigm, meet
yourself where you are and just want to reemphasize there's
no shame, there's no judgment. It's just what you learned
and what I learned, and it is all good. But
this is where we're just inviting you to take the
pen in your hand and redefine success. So coming from
(12:39):
success being something that you're doing or not doing, and
shifting over to it's a feeling or a being who
you're being and not being.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Yeah, and you mentioned you know freedom piece in rattled
off some others and it'll look different for everybody. But
my encouragement to anybody, if it seems overwhelming to come
up with one or more than one feeling, excuse me,
then just come up with one and check in with
yourself daily because it may change and you might be like, oh,
another feeling popped up. Because sometimes when you're in the
(13:08):
throes of it, well oftentimes when I was in the
throes of my eating disorder, I couldn't feel that much,
so it'd be overwhelming to try to think of a
bunch of different ways I was feeling. And maybe it's
what do you want to feel like, what do you
hope to feel like? And have those on the horizon.
But if thinking of more than one is overwhelming in
(13:31):
any way, shape or form, then just think of one
and take it day by day and revisit this ye
put a post it on your bathroom mirror or write
it with a dry erase, journal about it. I think
this is something that you can take time or spend
time with this entire month. And so this first part
week one, redefining success. Work on that this week and
(13:54):
next week we'll talk about redefining boundaries.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Leanne. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (13:59):
You can find me over Leanne Ellington on Instagram. And
if you want to learn about the process of rewiring
your brain, your nervous system, your definitions, you can head
on over to stressless Eating dot com. And I've laid
it all out in my free masterclass.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
And as for me, I am at Radio Amy on Socials.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
All right, we'll see you next Saturday. Bye bye,
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am again. I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then we'll always out way if you feel.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It with your hands in the air, She'll some love
to the vid. Why get there?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Take you one day?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Anita?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Did you and die out way?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Hey? Samy Brown here alongside Leanne Ellington, and this is
a four part series called Redefine to a Line. We're
gonna talking about redefining success, redefining boundaries, stress results, and
each of those things will be over the next four weeks, respectively.
So our goal here is to offer you a weekly
(00:56):
dose of hope and encouragement in a season that just
has well some challenges. The holiday season is here, and
we want to acknowledge the unique struggles that many women face,
whether it's with food or with body image. And I mean, Lane,
you can speak to this too. But there's just stress
and you'arine festivities and all of that can just pile
(01:20):
on potential family time which could lead to family drama
and stuff like that. So what are the holidays like
for you, And might I say, this is my first
time recording with Leanne since she has gotten married, So
missus Ellington is now going to come in and being
that this is your first Christmas as a wife, do
(01:41):
you feel like it's going to be easier, breezier or
a little more stressful because I don't know the family dynamic.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Yeah, it's a good question, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I think a lot of people think, oh, holidays, rainbows, butterflies,
But for a lot of people the holiday can be
really challenging emotionally. Maybe it brings up old memories, maybe
it triggers old stress habits, maybe it brings us back
or regresses us to a version of ourself that we
don't like to be. And then of course it can
be a happy time.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
One of the things that I've been doing for the
past few years really intentionally, and I also invite my
clients into this as well, is what if this season
was the perfect time to kind of slow down and destress,
And what if you could rewrite that script so that
it didn't have to be so much hustle and bustle
and craziness and you could literally just custom craft it.
(02:30):
The way that you need it. So in answer to
your question, it's been a busy season. We just got married,
then we had Thanksgiving, and then you know, the little
trip that we went on as a married couple, and
this is his busy season at work. So we've already decided,
like we're going to both be working, but we're going
to have a.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Mellow, chill holiday season.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
And I think in a world that kind of values
the hustle and the busy and all of that, that's
unheard of. But we've just decided that, and then we've
invited our friends and family into that. When they ask
us what we're doing, we're like, hey, we're going to
have a pretty chill holiday season. If you want to
connect with us, let us know. But like, this is
where we're at. We're just kind of in that de
stressing mode. So again that's my personal stance on it.
(03:11):
But the point being is we get to decide who
and how we want to experience our life in any
time of the year.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
And so when it comes to redefining success and people
focusing on that, since that's what we're talking about first
during this holiday season, what's your encouragement for people when
it comes to that.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
When we're talking about redefining anything, and in today's topic,
we're talking about this idea of success, which can be
a very convoluted topic, right because so many people have
different definitions. When we talk about rewiring our brains and
learning a new language, almost I think it's so important
to redefine even the language that we're using. So today
we're talking about success, but oftentimes what happens is we
(03:52):
end up just having the definitions that we have. We
inherit them, we learn them, we pick them up for
media nowadays, a lot of it's social media and influencers
and you name it. And so I think, you know,
the biggest thing is just to realize, wait a minute,
I didn't necessarily vote on that, you know, I didn't
vote on that definition, and giving ourselves permission to redefine it.
And this is one of the biggest things I have
to do with my clients because their old definitions are
(04:14):
following an old paradigm. And what we're learning is is
that if we want to be different, we need to
do and see and behave differently. Right, But if we
are using old definitions of success, So coming back to
the kind of theme of this podcast where if you
are in you have maybe a complicated relationship with food
in your body historically, maybe.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
You've swayed towards the disordered side.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Or the or in eating disorder specifically, maybe you are
stuck in that binge restrict cycle. Maybe you're just so
caught up in like the confusion and the overwhelming you're
at that point where you're like, I don't even know
what to do, think, say anymore when it comes to
food in my body. Like, wherever you are on that spectrum,
most likely you learned a paradigm around success. And I
know for my clients what they learned was like, Okay,
(04:57):
success is either I did a certain number of work
outs or I didn't do a certain number of workouts.
It's all this stuff that lives outside of us. But
when we think about our definitions of success and who
we want to be when we're talking about this, you know,
the possibilities that we talk about on this podcast, it's
about freedom from that restriction in that prison. It's about
peace of mind in our head, our heart, our spirit,
our bodies. It's about acceptance and learning what that even
(05:20):
feels like if we've never known what that feels like.
But if we look at the world's definition of success,
which is in that paradigm of eat less, move more, harder, faster, more,
don't do this, can't do that, not allowed to have that,
need to have to suppose to healthy, unhealthy.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I could go on and on. We are going to
get lost.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
And then of course we look at social media and
it's this other you know, whirlwind. So in terms of
redefining success, you know, this is where I invite people
to come back to taking the physical out of it, right,
because the physical really just follows the mental, emotional, spiritual, soul, brain,
all the things.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Who do you want to be? And how do you
want to feel?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
And when I ask my clients, the number one thing
I hear is they're like, I just want the constant
mental chatter to stop. I just want to feel peace.
The second thing I hear most often is freedom. They
just want to be free. They don't want this controlling
their lives. But if your definition of success is playing
the game of the opposite of peace, you know, or
(06:17):
the opposite of freedom, you are going to be left
as a you know, an air quotess victim to the
definition that you're using. So again that's why it's so
important to redefine success. So for me, success is like
am I feeling peace? Am I feeling more and more acceptance?
Am I feeling more and more freedom? And those are
the kinds of reframes that I truly believe need to happen,
(06:38):
which I know is simple, not easy when we've been
living in this paradigm forever, but it needs to at
least start if we want to ever truly be peaceful,
free and self accepting.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Yeah, I was thinking about how some of what I
defined as success, like if I had a successful day
that was a twenty four hour period, if at any point,
I guess some of that I'm sleep, so let's call
it the sixteen hours that I'm awake, Like it needed
to be successful in that window, because if I wasn't,
(07:08):
I've blown it for the day and that would lead
it was a domino effect. And so I think that
this is a time of year two with the holidays,
where we look ahead to January first at times, and
if you may feel like, well, if I wasn't successful
in how I wanted to be or connect with myself
or and this isn't even just food related, I mean
(07:31):
for me at the time when I had all these rules,
it was but I could see how it's like if
you have a goal to journal in the morning or meditate,
but you don't do it one day in the month
of December, then you're like, Okay, forget it, I'll just
start January first.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
And so that's where my mind is going right now.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
And because of the chaos of the season, sometimes there
are different stressors which are triggers in a sense that
may cause you to give up on something or something
that otherwise isn't giving you peace or whatnot. Because sometimes
I will say, you may need to eat it to
give you peace, and I have learned that in recovery
(08:09):
for sure, and that we're not saying what's good or
bad to eat by any means, Like that's not what
this is about. It's just that back to Land's point
of peace, like what is going to help you feel
more peace? And it's sort of like, I just don't
want to throw out the month of December just because
January one is on the horizon, and you know, you
don't take time to invest in yourself and then redefine
(08:32):
that success because you may, for lack of a better
way to say it, may mess up at some point
and not accomplish whatever it is you wanted to accomplish
in a day. But please don't see that as your
entire day is now screwed up and you need to
roll it over. How about just reset in that moment
and land Do you have any tips for that to
(08:53):
just reset the day?
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Because gosh, that type of.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Mentality for me, when I was stuck in it was
so exhaust and I feel like December is going to
be a long month if we're just keep being like,
oh fine, oh wait till January, Oh fine, oh wait
till January.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah, and you you.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Bring up so many beautiful points, and really my answer
to that is, if you're gonna redefine success, you have
to redefine failure, right, because what's happening is when we're
living in that all or nothing, black white on off
you know, air quotes wagon right where there's a start
and a stop, and like if you air quotes mess up,
then like you know, forget about it, wait till January.
(09:30):
That kind of mindset, that kind of paradigm, right, because again,
that is its own paradigm for success. Then anytime that
you do something that's out of alignment with what you
originally committed to. If you deem that a failure, then
again you're gonna kind of end up back where you were,
only this time. The next time you go to start,
you're gonna believe yourself less and less, because then you
have that thought process of great, this is just another
(09:51):
thing I started, I didn't finish, and now I'm a failure, right, failure, failure,
failure is it actually can become like an automated mechanism
in our brain, just like success can. So one of
the things that I did for myself that set me
gave me so much freedom. And about ten years ago,
I decided that I was only going to use the
word fail. The only way I could fail was if
I totally turned my back on my dream. Okay, So,
(10:14):
if you have a dream of freedom, if you have
a dream of finding peace around food and within your
body and within yourself, if you have a dream of
self acceptance, that is a lifelong dream, and so not
eating a certain way or not measuring up to a
certain standard that you may be committed to at the
beginning of the month does not equate to a failure.
But to me, and this is my own personal definition,
(10:35):
and I think we should all, you know, take the
pen and write our own But to me, my only
definition of failure is if I completely abandon myself and
turn my back on my dream. And that's when it
makes me come back to purpose. It's like, no, this
isn't a failure. This is just the nonlinear part of
my journey. And I remind myself that it's not linear, right,
But that's why it's so important to redefine success by
(10:55):
our own terms, but then also redefine failure because you
can't fail if you just keep coming back, keep coming back,
keep coming back to the big goal at mind.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Okay, so let's wrap with how we can rewrite our
own success, our own definition for us. Now we're we're
all individuals, so it may look a little bit different,
But do you have a prompt of sorts that can
help get us off the ground as we look to
redefine it for what it looks like for us.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
So the big definition right now of the old paradigm
is I feel most successful when I'm doing. But the
paradigm I want to invite people into is I feel
most successful when I am feeling. So when I'm feeling again,
we talked about the three big ones piece acceptance and freedom.
But when I'm feeling like I'm in integrity with my word,
when I'm feeling like I'm focused and directed, when I'm
(11:43):
feeling like I'm moving towards health, when i feel like
I'm showing up for myself and showing up for others
and contributing, and just like keep filling in the blank
and see what works for you.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
But like really come back to because at the end
of the day, success is something that you.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Feel or don't feel. It's not that you do or
don't do. So that's where I invite you. You know,
how do you want to feel? And are your current
measuring sticks of success like did I eat a certain way,
do a number certain number of workouts? All the you
know kind of worldly stuff that we're using to divine
our definition of success. Is that helping you feel the
way that you want to feel nine times out of ten,
it's not it's where you're going to feel the shame,
(12:19):
the blame, the guilt, the comparisonitis, the perfectionism, the self rejection,
all the things. So coming from your current paradigm, meet
yourself where you are and just want to reemphasize there's
no shame, there's no judgment. It's just what you learned
and what I learned, and it is all good. But
this is where we're just inviting you to take the
pen in your hand and redefine success. So coming from
(12:39):
success being something that you're doing or not doing, and
shifting over to it's a feeling or a being who
you're being and not being.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Yeah, and you mentioned you know freedom piece in rattled
off some others and it'll look different for everybody. But
my encouragement to anybody, if it seems overwhelming to come
up with one or more than one feeling, excuse me,
then just come up with one and check in with
yourself daily because it may change and you might be like, oh,
another feeling popped up. Because sometimes when you're in the
(13:08):
throes of it, well oftentimes when I was in the
throes of my eating disorder, I couldn't feel that much,
so it'd be overwhelming to try to think of a
bunch of different ways I was feeling. And maybe it's
what do you want to feel like, what do you
hope to feel like? And have those on the horizon.
But if thinking of more than one is overwhelming in
(13:31):
any way, shape or form, then just think of one
and take it day by day and revisit this ye
put a post it on your bathroom mirror or write
it with a dry erase, journal about it. I think
this is something that you can take time or spend
time with this entire month. And so this first part
week one, redefining success. Work on that this week and
(13:54):
next week we'll talk about redefining boundaries.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Leanne. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (13:59):
You can find me over Leanne Ellington on Instagram. And
if you want to learn about the process of rewiring
your brain, your nervous system, your definitions, you can head
on over to stressless Eating dot com. And I've laid
it all out in my free masterclass.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
And as for me, I am at Radio Amy on Socials.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
All right, we'll see you next Saturday. Bye bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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