December 30, 2023 • 10 mins
OUTWEIGH: In the 3rd episode of the "Redefine to Align" Series, Amy and Leanne are back to redefine typical definitions of "stress" and the notion that stress is this inevitable and uncontrollable force in our lives.
While stressful circumstances arising is indeed inevitable, Amy and Leanne invite you to break free from the misconception that stress must be a constant companion or a dominant force in your life.
By examining the ways in which our nervous systems become accustomed to heightened states, they explore redefining stress (and how you react to it) so that you can recognize that stress doesn't define you; rather, it's a learned response that can be unlearned. It's about cultivating a new relationship with stress and gathering the tools to help you break free from its grip and reclaim control over your well-being. Only then can you start aligning with the version of yourself that you truly want to be.
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
HOST: Leanne Ellington // @leanneellington // StresslessEating.com
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I get I'm strong, I feel.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful and
then will always out way if you feel it, but
your hands in the air, She'll some love to the mood.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there? Take you one day?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Anita?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
And die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here alongside Leanne Ellington. This is
Week three of our Redefined to Align series because this
time of year is just a little crazy. You may
be struggling with food, body, image stuff, but also stress.
I mean, this time of year is jam packed, it's busy,
(00:56):
it's just stressful, hopefully joyful, but also there's grieving that
happens this time of year too, depending on your family dynamic.
So it's holidays. Some people are all about them and
it's great, and sometimes holiday season is really really heavy
and hard, so it can be a stressful time of year.
And so we've been redefining words so that we can
(01:19):
navigate this season better and ultimately our lives better. Week
one was redefining Success. Last week was Week two redefining boundaries,
and this is week three, redefining stress.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
This is a big one that a lot of people
I know, I used to fall into this trap as
well of just assuming that stress has to be a
key player in our life or that stress needs to
control us. Right, And basically, stress is something that we
learn and we practice, and we can unlearn it and
practice ease and flow and relaxation, right, but first and
foremost we have to kind of take ownership of it.
(01:54):
But you know, not in a shaming ourselves way, not
in a blaming ourselves way, just kind of acknowledging, like, hey,
stress has kind of become part of my way of
living and way of thinking, and I don't want that
to be. I want to learn relaxation. I want to
learn you know, anti anxiety, and you know, stress doesn't
always have to come in that whole you know, fight
or flight. I feel like something is you know, chasing
(02:16):
after me kind of vibe. It can show up as
loneliness or sadness, or depression or fear or that low
level disappointment or outright shame. Like stress in our nervous
system is experienced in so many different ways, and so
I think really taking ownership of that and saying like, hey,
who I have been and how I've been experiencing my
life up until now doesn't have to be this way.
(02:36):
And also, if you are feeling any of that shame
or move into blame or anything, I just want to,
you know, share the data of this is that, like,
basically all it means is that your nervous system has
practiced being nervous. Right, It's just the data. It's the
cause and effect of what's happened. And you might not
have ever known that you were learning that it wasn't
this conscious thing, and you might also not know that
(02:57):
it can be any different. And that's where I just
want to invite you into. First of all, give yourself
grace and space for the fact that, like, it's not
this thing that like you consciously chose to pick up on, right,
it might have just happened, and it might have happened slowly,
And so first and foremost, just you know, relinquishing the shame,
but acknowledging like, hey, I don't want this to be
my way of living, my way of thinking. Just to
(03:18):
give you an example, I had a client a couple
of years ago. She had mentioned that notoriously. Christmas and
the holiday season was like super stressful for her, super
stressful at work, and so even like a couple months
before the holiday season, she was having stress about the
assumed stress, and so I just said to her, like,
what would it be like if it wasn't so easy?
So we just identified, like what are the big things
(03:39):
that you're stressing about? And nine times out of ten,
it was the drama of what she was afraid was
going to happen, And when we looked at the data
of it, of what was actually happening, it was really
the stories or the meaning that she was making in
her mind that was causing the stress. And so part
of it too is like acknowledging what stress is actually
happening from my circumstances and what am I adding to
(04:00):
it from my thoughts, my self talk, or what I'm
perceiving about it.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Sometimes when I'm in a stressful mode, I get so
comfortable there that when I'm not stressed, I feel like
my brain is like, WHOA, better find something to be
stressed about, because that's where we're that's where we're comfortable.
Like this ease feels very uncomfortable, and I don't know
what to do with it. So redefining that part for
me is like, oh, stress, it doesn't have to be
(04:24):
I mean, of course there's life circumstances that come up.
I'm not discounting that there's actual stressful things that could happen,
but when you're sort of living in it, and I
just was gosh last week, like day after day, I
was stressed, but I kept saying out loud, I'm stressed.
And I kept thinking about the stress and talking about
the stress to other people, hopefully not in an annoying
(04:47):
negative way, to where I was like, what do they
call that? An energy vampire? And I was sucking all
their energy. But I had to reset. And there was
one morning where I woke up and I was like,
you know what, I'm waking up. I'm making my bed,
which I to do every morning anyway, but I was
just very intentional. I'm making my bed, I'm going to
sit down, I'm doing a meditation. I'm going to journal.
And my journaling started off with I can handle things
(05:09):
with ease. Today is going to be in the flow,
like I was setting myself up for success that day.
And as you know, in week one, we talked about
success if I get out of that flow, it doesn't
derail the entire day. I can hop right back into it.
But it takes awareness, and that I am thankful for
(05:29):
because for days I did not have the awareness. And
then one morning, I guess I just woke up and
was like, I'm aware that I am actually making this
stress ten times worse than it needs to be. So
I'm going to get out my tools for my toolbox
and I'm going to start implementing them. And what do
you know, I remember that day specifically, and I had
(05:50):
such a better day in comparison to the five days prior.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
You just touched on really important things and answer the
question that I guarantee you were going to ask me.
So I love it. So part of it too, is like, yeah,
we create more of what we're looking for. So if
you're looking for stress, if you're acknowledging that it's going
to be there, you are literally creating it and you
will find more of it. So even just using the
word stress, right so for example, replay instead of being like,
oh my gosh, I'm so stressed, even just using the
(06:14):
word like, hey, this is really challenging me right now,
because what do people do when they experience a challenge.
Most people are like, Okay, bring it on, I can
rise up to a challenge, right, But when you say
words like I'm struggling or stress, there's this kind of
energetic defeat that comes alongside it. So even just noticing
when you're using the words so like stressed as a
way of being or way of it's like almost like
an action for you of like, oh, I'm so stressed
(06:36):
or this is so stressful, even just acknowledging like every
time you use that, you're seeding more of the stress
and creating more of it. But I have a feeling
you were going to ask me like, well, what's the alternative?
What do you do to not stress? And what you
were just saying is so beautiful and powerful is that
like a lot of people, they wake up or they
think the night before they go to sleep, they're like, okay,
what's my to do list?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Right?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
But what happens is they wake up with the same
stresses that they want to bed with, and then they
get into the doing going, going, going, going, because they
feel like that's their sense of control, but they have
it address that underlying stress that they're waking up with
because they went to bed with it. So even just
as you were sharing amy, you've created your distressed practices
and there's a recipe for everyone out here. But like,
what if the first part of your day was about
(07:19):
just getting yourself grounded and calm, and we all like,
we all need to discover what that is. It could
include music, journaling, meditation, grounding practices, whatever it is for you.
Maybe it's just laying in your bed and putting on
some music or stretching or just breathing, whatever it is.
You don't even have to get out of bed to
do it. But then expounding outward on that, like what
if this entire season, what if you committed to coming
(07:41):
into January your most calm, peaceful, distressed, grounded version of yourself,
talk about redefining the entire holiday season in the face
of stress where you're like, nope, I'm not playing the
game of a stressful season. I'm playing the game of
calm and peace and grounding and like destressing my life.
And if you got out a piece of paper and
(08:02):
you wrote to the top a piece of paper, like
what would it look like? How do I reverse engineer
that in January? Then you're gonna start coming up with ideas. Oh,
maybe I'll clean out my closet. Maybe I'll actually like
do all my gift shopping on one day and not
have it spread out. Maybe I'll wrap my presence early
because I know I always get stressed out the night
before Christmas. Maybe I'll reach out to my entire family
now and I'll put everything on my calendar now so
I have prediction and response in my brain of when
(08:24):
I'm saying seeing people. Maybe I'll pre write thank you
notes or whatever for the Christmas gifts I get, so
I don't have to do it afterwards. Whatever it is,
just you know where your kryptonite is, like address it now,
and I would just I mean this with so much love,
but stop playing the game of like, oh my gosh,
this has to be so stressful, because all that does
is add drama to the fire.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I like what you said earlier too, when something stressful
comes up, like redefining it with a word change of challenge,
like sometimes a language switch in your brain can change
the vibe of so much. And then also there's a
question that we love, and it's what does this make possible?
It acknowledges where you are, It doesn't ignore the feelings
(09:07):
that are going down, but how can you lean into
it and what does it make possible? And I am
so so grateful for that question alone, but also just
the word what in general, because I think through this
holiday season into the new year, I want to try
to eliminate why and replace it with what, because it's
(09:29):
definitely a game changer. LeAnn. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I am at Lianne Ellington over on socials and if
you want to learn the process of rewiring your brain
but without all the stress, the struggle, the hassle of Shenanigans,
head on over to Stressless Eating dot com and check
out my free masterclass.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
And then on Instagram. It's where I spend most of
my time at Radio Amy if you want to find
me there. We'll see you next Saturday for redefining results.
Bye bye he
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I get I'm strong, I feel.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful and
then will always out way if you feel it, but
your hands in the air, She'll some love to the mood.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there? Take you one day?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Anita?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
And die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here alongside Leanne Ellington. This is
Week three of our Redefined to Align series because this
time of year is just a little crazy. You may
be struggling with food, body, image stuff, but also stress.
I mean, this time of year is jam packed, it's busy,
(00:56):
it's just stressful, hopefully joyful, but also there's grieving that
happens this time of year too, depending on your family dynamic.
So it's holidays. Some people are all about them and
it's great, and sometimes holiday season is really really heavy
and hard, so it can be a stressful time of year.
And so we've been redefining words so that we can
(01:19):
navigate this season better and ultimately our lives better. Week
one was redefining Success. Last week was Week two redefining boundaries,
and this is week three, redefining stress.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
This is a big one that a lot of people
I know, I used to fall into this trap as
well of just assuming that stress has to be a
key player in our life or that stress needs to
control us. Right, And basically, stress is something that we
learn and we practice, and we can unlearn it and
practice ease and flow and relaxation, right, but first and
foremost we have to kind of take ownership of it.
(01:54):
But you know, not in a shaming ourselves way, not
in a blaming ourselves way, just kind of acknowledging, like, hey,
stress has kind of become part of my way of
living and way of thinking, and I don't want that
to be. I want to learn relaxation. I want to
learn you know, anti anxiety, and you know, stress doesn't
always have to come in that whole you know, fight
or flight. I feel like something is you know, chasing
(02:16):
after me kind of vibe. It can show up as
loneliness or sadness, or depression or fear or that low
level disappointment or outright shame. Like stress in our nervous
system is experienced in so many different ways, and so
I think really taking ownership of that and saying like, hey,
who I have been and how I've been experiencing my
life up until now doesn't have to be this way.
(02:36):
And also, if you are feeling any of that shame
or move into blame or anything, I just want to,
you know, share the data of this is that, like,
basically all it means is that your nervous system has
practiced being nervous. Right, It's just the data. It's the
cause and effect of what's happened. And you might not
have ever known that you were learning that it wasn't
this conscious thing, and you might also not know that
(02:57):
it can be any different. And that's where I just
want to invite you into. First of all, give yourself
grace and space for the fact that, like, it's not
this thing that like you consciously chose to pick up on, right,
it might have just happened, and it might have happened slowly,
And so first and foremost, just you know, relinquishing the shame,
but acknowledging like, hey, I don't want this to be
my way of living, my way of thinking. Just to
(03:18):
give you an example, I had a client a couple
of years ago. She had mentioned that notoriously. Christmas and
the holiday season was like super stressful for her, super
stressful at work, and so even like a couple months
before the holiday season, she was having stress about the
assumed stress, and so I just said to her, like,
what would it be like if it wasn't so easy?
So we just identified, like what are the big things
(03:39):
that you're stressing about? And nine times out of ten,
it was the drama of what she was afraid was
going to happen, And when we looked at the data
of it, of what was actually happening, it was really
the stories or the meaning that she was making in
her mind that was causing the stress. And so part
of it too is like acknowledging what stress is actually
happening from my circumstances and what am I adding to
(04:00):
it from my thoughts, my self talk, or what I'm
perceiving about it.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Sometimes when I'm in a stressful mode, I get so
comfortable there that when I'm not stressed, I feel like
my brain is like, WHOA, better find something to be
stressed about, because that's where we're that's where we're comfortable.
Like this ease feels very uncomfortable, and I don't know
what to do with it. So redefining that part for
me is like, oh, stress, it doesn't have to be
(04:24):
I mean, of course there's life circumstances that come up.
I'm not discounting that there's actual stressful things that could happen,
but when you're sort of living in it, and I
just was gosh last week, like day after day, I
was stressed, but I kept saying out loud, I'm stressed.
And I kept thinking about the stress and talking about
the stress to other people, hopefully not in an annoying
(04:47):
negative way, to where I was like, what do they
call that? An energy vampire? And I was sucking all
their energy. But I had to reset. And there was
one morning where I woke up and I was like,
you know what, I'm waking up. I'm making my bed,
which I to do every morning anyway, but I was
just very intentional. I'm making my bed, I'm going to
sit down, I'm doing a meditation. I'm going to journal.
And my journaling started off with I can handle things
(05:09):
with ease. Today is going to be in the flow,
like I was setting myself up for success that day.
And as you know, in week one, we talked about
success if I get out of that flow, it doesn't
derail the entire day. I can hop right back into it.
But it takes awareness, and that I am thankful for
(05:29):
because for days I did not have the awareness. And
then one morning, I guess I just woke up and
was like, I'm aware that I am actually making this
stress ten times worse than it needs to be. So
I'm going to get out my tools for my toolbox
and I'm going to start implementing them. And what do
you know, I remember that day specifically, and I had
(05:50):
such a better day in comparison to the five days prior.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
You just touched on really important things and answer the
question that I guarantee you were going to ask me.
So I love it. So part of it too, is like, yeah,
we create more of what we're looking for. So if
you're looking for stress, if you're acknowledging that it's going
to be there, you are literally creating it and you
will find more of it. So even just using the
word stress, right so for example, replay instead of being like,
oh my gosh, I'm so stressed, even just using the
(06:14):
word like, hey, this is really challenging me right now,
because what do people do when they experience a challenge.
Most people are like, Okay, bring it on, I can
rise up to a challenge, right, But when you say
words like I'm struggling or stress, there's this kind of
energetic defeat that comes alongside it. So even just noticing
when you're using the words so like stressed as a
way of being or way of it's like almost like
an action for you of like, oh, I'm so stressed
(06:36):
or this is so stressful, even just acknowledging like every
time you use that, you're seeding more of the stress
and creating more of it. But I have a feeling
you were going to ask me like, well, what's the alternative?
What do you do to not stress? And what you
were just saying is so beautiful and powerful is that
like a lot of people, they wake up or they
think the night before they go to sleep, they're like, okay,
what's my to do list?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Right?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
But what happens is they wake up with the same
stresses that they want to bed with, and then they
get into the doing going, going, going, going, because they
feel like that's their sense of control, but they have
it address that underlying stress that they're waking up with
because they went to bed with it. So even just
as you were sharing amy, you've created your distressed practices
and there's a recipe for everyone out here. But like,
what if the first part of your day was about
(07:19):
just getting yourself grounded and calm, and we all like,
we all need to discover what that is. It could
include music, journaling, meditation, grounding practices, whatever it is for you.
Maybe it's just laying in your bed and putting on
some music or stretching or just breathing, whatever it is.
You don't even have to get out of bed to
do it. But then expounding outward on that, like what
if this entire season, what if you committed to coming
(07:41):
into January your most calm, peaceful, distressed, grounded version of yourself,
talk about redefining the entire holiday season in the face
of stress where you're like, nope, I'm not playing the
game of a stressful season. I'm playing the game of
calm and peace and grounding and like destressing my life.
And if you got out a piece of paper and
(08:02):
you wrote to the top a piece of paper, like
what would it look like? How do I reverse engineer
that in January? Then you're gonna start coming up with ideas. Oh,
maybe I'll clean out my closet. Maybe I'll actually like
do all my gift shopping on one day and not
have it spread out. Maybe I'll wrap my presence early
because I know I always get stressed out the night
before Christmas. Maybe I'll reach out to my entire family
now and I'll put everything on my calendar now so
I have prediction and response in my brain of when
(08:24):
I'm saying seeing people. Maybe I'll pre write thank you
notes or whatever for the Christmas gifts I get, so
I don't have to do it afterwards. Whatever it is,
just you know where your kryptonite is, like address it now,
and I would just I mean this with so much love,
but stop playing the game of like, oh my gosh,
this has to be so stressful, because all that does
is add drama to the fire.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I like what you said earlier too, when something stressful
comes up, like redefining it with a word change of challenge,
like sometimes a language switch in your brain can change
the vibe of so much. And then also there's a
question that we love, and it's what does this make possible?
It acknowledges where you are, It doesn't ignore the feelings
(09:07):
that are going down, but how can you lean into
it and what does it make possible? And I am
so so grateful for that question alone, but also just
the word what in general, because I think through this
holiday season into the new year, I want to try
to eliminate why and replace it with what, because it's
(09:29):
definitely a game changer. LeAnn. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I am at Lianne Ellington over on socials and if
you want to learn the process of rewiring your brain
but without all the stress, the struggle, the hassle of Shenanigans,
head on over to Stressless Eating dot com and check
out my free masterclass.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
And then on Instagram. It's where I spend most of
my time at Radio Amy if you want to find
me there. We'll see you next Saturday for redefining results.
Bye bye he
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