November 14, 2023 • 35 mins
Leanne is kicking off a new series based on her own experiences navigating "The Paradox of Worthiness" (as she calls it). As in, how do you feel worthy when you don't feel worthy?
There is so much talk nowadays about self-love and worthiness, but the crucial question remains: How do we truly embrace it if all we’ve ever known is the opposite? How do you suddenly feel worthy if all you’ve ever known is feeling unworthy?
In this kickoff to the series, Leanne introduces you to (what she calls) "The 5 Blocks To Love", and how she discovered that when it came to actually FEELING worthy of being loved, that was a really hard concept for her to grasp at first. It felt like something was actually blocking her.
And that's when she discovered that there were "5 Blocks" that were hindering her ability to RECEIVE what was already there, and that this was what was actually causing her resistance. She also discovered that removing those blocks catapulted her ability to connect to herself, others, and God.
You're going to get an in-depth look at each of these blocks in this upcoming series, but first she dives into the fusion of faith, neuroscience, and self-image as a pathway to feeling worthy and putting yourself in the optimal position to remove your own blocks.
HOST: @LeanneEllington
Episodes Mentioned:
★ The Faith-Brain Connection: Where Self Image Meets Neuroscience
★ A Scientist Goes Looking For God
★ How God Helped Me Heal My Fears About Being Alone the Rest of My Life
Authors Mentioned:
★ Curt Thompson: https://curtthompsonmd.com/
★ Chip Dodd: https://www.chipdodd.com/
To learn more about Leanne, head over to www.LeanneEllington.com, and to share your thoughts, questions, feedback, or guest suggestions instantly, head on over to www.WhatsGodGotToDoWithIt.com.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
If you want to go on a journey.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
If you're skeptical, don't worry. Now here to preach.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
You're gonna keep it clean and talk to me and
recause where faith needs starts nature and get in touch
with your creator with a bacon, love and jo She
even speaks Hebrew.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
What's that?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
What's that? As well said Polation talking transformation?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
What's done?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Gonzo?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Welcome back to What's God got to do with it?
And thank you so much for all the feedback that
we've received for you, and thank you to everyone who
has followed or liked or subscribed to the podcast. And
if you like what you've heard, we have so much
great content on the way for you, starting today, where
we're kicking off a new series of intertwining episodes that
are going to connect a lot of dots from previous
(01:06):
episodes but also pave the way for future episodes and
kind of act like this overarching big picture view of
our upcoming series. Specifically, I'll be introducing you to what
I call the five blocks to God's Love and how
I discovered that for me when it came to actually
feeling worthy of being loved and not feeling like I
(01:28):
had to you know, earn it or like when I'm
this or do that, then I'll be lovable, I mean
loved right now as I am. That was really hard
for me to grasp at first. It's like something was
kind of blocking me. And I call it the paradox
of worthiness, as in, how do you feel worthy when
you don't feel worthy? Because there's so much talk nowadays
(01:50):
about self love and worthiness, but the crucial question remains,
how do we truly embrace it if all we've ever
known is the opposite? Like how do you suddenly feel
worthy if all you've ever known is feeling unworthy? And
the problem is we're being bombarded with feel good affirmations
and fake positivity and platitudes that fail to address our
(02:12):
deep seated insecurities. And that's because, you know, really only
a little bit is being spoken about the science of
the self image, which I've talked a lot about on
this podcast. But also, as you've learned, why the Bible
resonated with me so deeply because it one hundred percent
aligned with how our brains work and neuroplasticity and all
(02:33):
of that, and so our self image and the wiring
in our brains that is causing us to think and
act and feel and behave the way that we are.
That is the problem, but it's also the solution to
worthiness when we renew our minds of course, right, And
I talked all about that in episode seven, the faith
brain connection where self image meets neuroscience, and I shared
(02:58):
that and I'm going to really just over simple this here,
but when it comes to the goggles that we're seeing
ourselves through and our perceptions of ourselves, and you know,
really why we do what we do on a brain
level that is dictated by an often overlooked part of
the brain called the anterior singulate cortex or ACC or
I call it the social brain. And when we tap
(03:20):
into the power of this part of the brain, that's
where we hold the keys to the science of the
self image. And this is how we can create that
you know, three dimensional mental, emotional, spiritual, physical health, all
of it, and feel true worthiness down in our bones.
And so we also talked about on that episode how
faith has been scientifically proven to influence that part of
(03:43):
the brain, not to mention, alleviate physical pain, and help
heal from addiction, but also how you know, for years
I was teaching the science of the self image as
more of a personal development or brain changing way of thinking.
But when I invited God into that conversation, like wow, right,
And so if you missed that episode, go back and
(04:04):
check that out and you can just search faith brain
connection and it should come right up. So back to
the five blocks to God's love. What I discovered was
when it came to actually feeling worthy of being loved
and not feeling like I had to earn it or
like you know, I said, when I do this or that,
then I'll be lovable. I mean loved right now as
I am. That didn't just magically happen for me because
(04:27):
of that resistance I mentioned that was blocking me from
getting it, and I'm saying getting it and putting that
in air quotes. But God wasn't blocking me, and my
circumstances weren't blocking me. I was blocking me and my
thoughts and perception of myself was what was blocking what
was available to me. And this is the perfect time
(04:48):
to connect the dots from last week's episode, Jesus take
the wheel from self reliance to God's Guidance with my
dear friend Ketrick Nole, where rewind about four or five
years ago you know, and Ketrick told me something that
I flat out did not want to hear. And keep
in mind that four or five years ago when I
was just starting to dip my toes into Christianity and
(05:10):
just starting my relationship with God and getting to know
this guy called Jesus, so I was still you know,
like a little baby Christian or heck, I still feel
like I am that still to this day that I digress.
So I'm volunteering at the Teen Dream Center that's where
I met Ketrick, and on certain days they would break
out into enrichment for the girls and enrichment for the guys,
(05:32):
and I remember thinking like, wow, my self image curriculum
would be so incredibly powerful for these teenage girls. So
I offered to teach my curriculum to the girls, specifically,
you know, thinking I could teach the five self image
ingredients that I had been teaching for over a decade.
And Ketrick was super sweet about it, but he was like, Okay, Lean,
(05:52):
your self image curriculum is great, but I don't want
you to teach it to the teenage girls at the
Teen Dream Center yet. Okay he said yet, And I
was like, ah, Like the nerve of him to tell
me that it wasn't ready or that I wasn't ready
or whatever I perceived him to be saying. And yes,
I was a little bit, you know, but hurt, as
(06:12):
the kids nowadays say when I first heard him say that,
But that's only because I didn't get it right. That is,
I didn't get it until I did get it. And
now I can see that he had a very good
reason to say that to me, And it was because
I was still teaching self love and self worth as
something that you do strictly through your own strength. In
(06:35):
other words, it was this hyper independent reliance on self
to do all of the heavy lifting. And in a
world that often encourages, you know, self sufficiency, this concept
of letting go and allowing God to take the lead
that can feel a little daunting, or if you're anything
like me, like it was totally foreign. So before we
(06:58):
get into any more of this, you know, relinquishing shame
and stepping into worthiness conversation, and before I connect any
more dots to the neuroscience or neuro faith side of things,
I want you to first look at it through the
lens of what Ketrick and I talked about last week,
where it's not about doing it just through your own strength,
even though that might be what you learned. I know
(07:18):
it's what I learned. But it's about shifting from total
self reliance to allowing God's guidance to come in. And
that's why I'm inviting you to see this topic of
shame and this topic of transforming your view of yourself
in a whole new light. And so if you think
that asking for help is weakness, as I raise my
hand in admission, because that was me most of my life.
(07:41):
And if you struggle with this idea of surrendering your
burdens over to God or a higher power, and boy
did I ever like I'll be the first to admit that.
And if you constantly feel like you have to prove
how strong or able or tough or fill in the
blank you are, and again, there is no judgment about
any of this, like this was my entire life before
(08:02):
I let God in. Well, before we go any further
in this episode, I'm just first and foremost inviting you
to simply try on a new definition of surrender and
the profound impacts that can happen when you shift from
self reliance to God's guidance and no longer looking at
this as something that you have to do on your own,
(08:24):
but letting God in to do the heavy lifting. Like
not just your logic brain here, I'm not talking to
just logic anymore. Like I'm really inviting you to use
your spiritual brain and see this through spiritual eyes. And again,
this was so hard for me to grasp. So if
this is a stretch for you, I see you, I
(08:44):
get you, I feel you, and I am not here
to convince you, but just here to invite you to
see what you to see that you don't have to
do all of this yourself. And this is the perfect
place to invite God in and say, hey, God, me
me here, Like, help me see what you see. Help
me with my demons, help me with my past, help
(09:06):
me with my shame and my loneliness and my self criticism,
and help me with depression and body image shame and
coping mechanisms or whatever it is you're currently dealing with. Okay,
so back to the five God blocks. It's so interesting
because I have been teaching my five ingredient self imaging
formula to my clients for over a decade, but what
(09:26):
I realized was that those same five ingredients. When I
looked at them another way, they weren't just ingredients, okay,
looked at from another angle or really in reality, it
was just looking at them through spiritual eyes, I realized
that they were actually where I was blocking God's love
and any love for that matter, from coming my way
(09:47):
and truly receiving it. Like that was the resistance that
I was telling you about, Like that's what was blocking
me from feeling the power or the truth in that.
And that's why I now call them God blocks. Where again,
God wasn't blocking me, and my circumstances weren't blocking me.
I was blocking me like my thoughts, my perception of
(10:09):
myself was what was blocking what was available to me.
And how when I looked at those same ingredients through
my spiritual eyes, the things I was once relying on
to like you know, relying on only me to feel
responsible for or thinking I had to do it all
through my own might and own strength, I realized that
those were the things that were blocking me from again
(10:32):
not just the love of God, but the love of
anyone in this universe that wanted to give their love
to me. So whether it was friends, family, relationships, and
boy that is a topic on its own, but there
are five God blocks in total, and I promised to
walk you through each one in depth on this series.
But the reason this felt so revelatory for me is
(10:54):
because when I simply became aware of those five blocks,
and I acknowledged them and cared for them, all of
a sudden, they were no longer blocks, like they became
like a powerful gateway or bridge to connection and to
worthiness and to peace, like so much peace. And it
allowed me to invite God in right there and ask
(11:15):
him to help me. And then my prayers just again
became things like, God, meet me here, and help me
see what you see, and help me with my shame,
and help me find worthiness, and help me unblock what's
blocking me from you and remove anything or unlearn any
lie that is not coming from you. And that's why
I believe it's so important to recognize your own blocks,
(11:37):
as in, what's keeping you from receiving the love that's
available to you right now, and what's keeping you from
feeling like you are worthy of receiving love and worthy
of being taken care of or valued beyond the size
of your genes or your bank balance or your relationship status.
And so if you've heard my five ingredients of self
Imaging recipe before, and there's a good chance you have,
(12:01):
I promise that you have never heard them share the
way that I'm going to share them in this series.
And that's only because I didn't see them the way
that I see them today until I did see them
that way. And that's why I'm so excited to just
get this conversation started, or really, like I said, continue it.
So we're going to talk about what that looks like
through the faith brain lens or the neurofaith lens, but
(12:23):
also what does this look like through God's eyes? Okay,
but before we do, I just want to kind of
share an example. So if you heard episode six how
God helped me heal my fears about being alone the
(12:43):
rest of my life, I shared what a big deal
it is that as I'm recording this, I'm actually getting
married in about a week. But it's not the wedding
that's such a big deal. It's what God unblocked for
me along my journey. That is what I really want
you to see. And I'm so excited because I kind
of left myself breadcrumbs along the way, and I didn't
even know it, and you're gonna be able to see
(13:05):
what I mean in a second, because I truly believe
I'm getting married to my best friend and dream come
true husband at the ripe bul age of forty right.
But it was a journey. It was a journey getting here.
It was a journey getting there and feeling worthy of
receiving this love. And I shared all about it in
that episode. But for so much of my life, I
had the five blocks to love that I'm going to
(13:26):
share with you, and they were keeping me from feeling
worthy of receiving that love from another human being. And
so what I'm about to share, I wrote this over
five years ago, okay, when keep in mind, I didn't
have a relationship with God yet when I wrote it.
But I truly believe it's a testament to what can
happen with the transformative power of the self image. And
of course He was with me all along, even if
(13:48):
I didn't know it yet. But even then, I believed
it to be true with my whole heart. And now
I know it to be true with my whole heart.
So I called it run your own race. Okay, this
is what I wrote. I turned thirty four a few
months ago. I'm not married. I'm not even in a
serious or committed relationship at the moment. According to some
(14:09):
timelines and storylines and guidelines, I am behind. To be honest,
I used to think I was too, But here's what
I say about it now. If I had entered into
a union or gotten married a few years ago, I
would have brought the following with me, all the feelings
of not enoughness, all the judgments of self criticalness, all
(14:31):
the cause and effects of unhappiness, disconnection from myself, disconnection
from my body, disconnection from all the love that's already
there in my life, self created goggles that always saw
me through a lens of fat or stupid or broken,
a tough gal exterior that made me think I was
(14:51):
alone in this world and didn't need anything from anyone.
This feeling that I was unworthy of love, of a
lifelong commitment, or of unconditional acceptance. I would have always
been looking to someone or something else to tell me
who I was, tell me what to do, or air
quotes make me happy? That goes for a man, a career,
(15:13):
a gene size. It wouldn't have mattered, because I would
have always been the woman whose happiness and purpose and
identity were always coming in from everything outside of her,
and the truth chances are I would have been divorced
by the age of thirty four thirty five tops, not
because we didn't love and or like each other, but
because I didn't like me and I couldn't and wouldn't
(15:37):
have been able to receive love from another human being.
So yeah, maybe by some people's standards or timelines, I
am behind, But the way I see it, that time
couldn't have been better well spent or better invested. Here
is who I went and became. I started the journey
of getting to know myself truly, naked, warts and all.
(15:59):
I started the journey of learning to accept myself, accept
my past, and accept responsibility for my own happiness, purpose,
and meaning. I learned how to connect with myself, connect
with my body, and use that connection as my medicine
and my drug of choice. I learned to value myself
not solely by the number on the scale, my bank
(16:20):
account balance, or my relationship status, but by the love
in my heart, the words in my soul, and the
new values driven currency that I created and I defined.
I learned to love, to be present, to love, to
give it, to receive it, and to be it. And
now here I am ready to love and be loved,
(16:41):
to give it and more importantly receive it, ready to
connect and create intimacy and truly be seen. I'm exactly
who I need to be and where I need to
be to go invite all the magic and awesomeness and
love into my life that I desire. And so are you. Son.
Anyone out there who feels behind or not on track,
(17:04):
or like time is running out, run your own race,
Create your own timelines, craft your own guidelines, and narrate
your own storylines. Don't let other people's versions of who
you should be, where you should be, or what you
should be cast shadows of doubt, comparison or not enoughness.
(17:24):
And don't let it pressure you or influence you into
making decisions that go against your intuition or against your
better judgment. It's your race, it's your story, it's your life,
and you only have one, so go live it for you.
Live it by your rules and guidelines, create your own
timelines and storylines, and I think you'll find that little
(17:45):
by little, the ticking time bomb goes away, the fear
of judgment starts to subside, and you will become more
and all of who you really are. Okay. So again,
remember I wrote that before I had a relationship with God,
and I can absolutely see how I was totally in
self reliance like we talked about, and this idea of
(18:08):
allowing God's guidance to come in and do the heavy lifting, well,
that was not even remotely in my consciousness, or at
least that I knew, because I was thinking that I
had to do all the heavy lifting, and I was
trying to logic and reason my way through my deeper struggles,
hence using words like self love and then having my
five self image ingredients paving the way, and the idea
(18:29):
of allowing God int do the heavy lifting, while yes,
I was an active participant and took radical ownership of
my ability to influence my life and use my free
will because God doesn't control that, that was so hard
for me to grasp. So again, if this is a
stretch for you, I get it. I feel you. And
again I'm not here trying to convince you. I'm just
(18:51):
inviting you to see that you don't have to do
all of this yourself. Okay, But that's why I'm so
adamant about sharing this because again, when you also see
that those same ingredients or that I'm going to share
with you, when you see them through the lens of okay,
but what if that's what's blocking me from truly receiving
God's love or anyone's love. It really is a big wow,
(19:12):
like it's an aha hopefully right. And for me, it
just it hits differently, like again, it released the pressure
valve for me, it took some of the weight off
of me to do it all by myself. But it
also it kind of like softened my heart and it
postured me towards a new kind of love and acceptance
and identity and worthiness and so yeah, you get it.
(19:35):
Like I believe in the brain science side of this,
I just shared the transformation that's possible. But when you
add in the secret ingredient of God, and for me
it was Jesus, it's a whole new level one that
you didn't even know you could get to. And that's
why I'm so excited to share both like the self
image side of shame and worthiness and then the neuro
(19:55):
faith side of it. So let's just connect those dots
to help you really linquish your own shame and step
into your own worthiness. Okay, So this whole faith brain
connection and what I mean when I say where self
image meets neuroscience and I shared with you in the
very first episode a scientist goes looking for God. That
meeting myself in my skeptical, cynical mind, but also stepping
(20:17):
into a God conversation around things I was, you know,
previously trying to do through my own might and will.
It was so powerful for me because A it completed
my story, but also b it met me in what
I already knew about the magic and wonder of the
brain and the nervous system, right. And that's why, really,
for the last fifteen years of my life, I've been
obsessed with studying this stuff, like what is it that
(20:40):
makes us see and perceive ourselves the way that we do?
And why do our brains play tricks on us? Right?
And why do we do what we do? And for me,
this all started because I was having questions like why
did I just lose one hundred pounds and totally make
over my body, but I'm still seeing myself as fat, right?
And why do I still feel like a crazy sugar addict?
And why do I still feel unworthy and unlovable fill
(21:01):
in the blank. And why didn't my mind and my
brain and my self image play catch up when my
body physically transformed, right, And that's really why I became
obsessed with researching and understanding the intricacies of the human
brain and self image, because again, I suffered and struggled
with this for decades and the world was throwing a
lot of, you know, diets essentially at my deeper problems.
(21:22):
And really this stuff is not taught in the mainstream,
and it's not made readily available, and that's why I'm
so purposeful about getting this way of thinking out there.
But it's also rare that I find anyone talking about
what God has to do with it, all right, with
our own shame and our own blocks to worthiness, and
how that can be like if you're willing to go
(21:43):
there a pivotal piece of the puzzle. But we can't
talk about shame without talking about you probably guessed it
your self image and the goggles that you're seeing yourself
through day in day out, And it's your personal view
or mental picture that you have of yourself. And so
when you think about all the thoughts that you think
about yourself on a day to day basis. You know,
maybe you're calling yourself things like intelligent and kind and
(22:05):
beautiful or talented, whatever, but maybe you're also calling yourself
a loser or ugly or a disappointment or unlovable or
whatever fill in the blank. But basically, however you're regarding yourself,
how you view your strengths or weaknesses, you are defining yourself.
You're like painting a picture and then you live into
that story and that picture, and then your beliefs and
(22:26):
habits and behaviors follow that story. And that's how the
fired and wired things get fired and wired in your brain.
And that's why I always say that what you see
is who you be, which is just to say that
how you're showing up in your life. So whether that's physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally,
like whatever, right, it's going to be a direct reflection
of what you see as being true about yourself relative
(22:50):
to that area. So if you see yourself as beautiful, lovable, irreplaceable,
then you be someone who shows up as beautiful, lovable, irreplaceable.
What you see is who you be. But on the
other hand, if you see yourself as you know, flawed
or unlovable, unworthy, ugly, whatever it is, You're gonna be
the person who meets the circumstances of your life as
(23:12):
that person, because again, what you see is who you be.
And that's why doing all of the air quotes you know,
out their work stuff like you know, Diet's Jim, goal
based stuff, motivational stuff, it tends to fall short for
us or it doesn't really address the deeper stuff going on,
because we will only be the person that we see, right,
And when I say what you see is who you be,
(23:35):
That's why I always say that transformation truly, like true transformation,
like absolute you know, I don't even recognize myself kind
of transformation. It really does begin with the self image
and stepping into a new identity. And I've shared this before,
you know, I learned this again after losing one hundred
pounds and making over my body. But because I didn't
address the wiring that was causing me to think and
(23:56):
act and feel and behave like I was unworthy and
like I said a minute ago, I still felt I
was fat, or I just was like, oh, you're always
going to be like this, or you know whatever, painful
words I was using. Yeah, I lost a lot of weight,
but I never transformed my identity. And of course, because
of that, what you see is who you be. I
brought all my old habits and thinking and behaviors with me,
(24:17):
because I brought my old self image with me. Right now,
keep in mind, when I started on my path, I
didn't have God in my life, or at least didn't
know I did. But by some divine miracle, I eventually
had the insight and awareness to realize I was never
going to be able to outsmart the wiring in my
brain and self image, and I wasn't going to be
able to do it all on my own. Like I
(24:38):
needed help and I needed a lifeline, and yes, in
many ways, like I needed to be saved from myself.
I needed help and I needed a lifeline, and yes,
in many ways like I needed to be saved from
(24:59):
my myself, which is such a departure from self reliance
if you think about it, right, But that's why I
get so excited to bring God into this conversation and
into this upcoming series that we're going to start next
week and talk about what's God got to do with it?
When it comes to your own shame and worthiness, because
I believe there's absolutely a faith brain connection because when
(25:20):
it comes to the collective stories that you're telling yourself
on repeat, and yeah, you might be using words like unworthy, unlovable,
or identifying with shame, but it's also those stories we
tell ourselves that aren't that like finite or we can't
put our finger on it, or maybe we're just calling
ourselves different or weird or alone or isolated like stuff
like that. And so if you're anything like me, I
(25:41):
also thought I was crazy, like I thought I was broken,
And that's its own rabbit hole, right, and that because
we feel all those things, but when we're down that
rabbit hole, we also feel isolated and super disconnected. And
then isolation and disconnection disconnection is its own rabbit hole,
or at least it can be if our self image
is untamed and just kind of growing metaphorical weeds without
(26:04):
us weeding the metaphorical garden. But in reality my own
rabbit hole, I can look back at it and know
that it was made up of my own God blocks
and where I was blocking love and worthiness from actually
being received. And I believe it's possible that you might
be too, as in, like, what's keeping you from receiving
the love that's available to you right now? And what's
(26:27):
keeping you from feeling like you're worthy of receiving love
and being taken care of or valued beyond the size
of your genes or bank balance or how you know,
air quotes together, you think you are or think you're not.
So we're going to talk all about those five blocks
starting next week. But first, you know, I've shared a
lot of my own perspective on the neurofaith side of things,
(26:48):
so I actually want to introduce you to two of
my favorite teachers and authors perspectives on the subject of
shame and worthiness, And if you're interested in doing a
deep dive, then this is where I invite you to
check these guys out. By the way, in the name
of praying and asking God to do the heavy lifting.
Like total side note, I would love to have both
of these guys that I'm gonna share with you on
the podcast. So I'm just calling that out right now. God, Okay,
(27:12):
you hear me, Like, this is me praying for that, Okay.
So the way I describe it is one of these
guys shares a faith based viewpoint on the neurobiology of
shame and worthiness, and one shares a faith based viewpoint
on the neuropsychology of shame and worthiness. And I'll just
give you a bit of an overview. Both of them
have books. Actually, you know, both of them have several books,
(27:33):
but if you want to learn more about them and
their theories, I'm going to recommend that you check them out,
and I'll link everything in the show notes. But the
first is a man named Kurt Thompson who wrote, among
other things, The Soul of Shame, Retelling the Stories we
Believe about Ourselves, where he not only takes you through,
you know, the neuroscience of shame and explaining how shame
isn't just a psychological or emotional experience, but it's really
(27:57):
deeply rooted in the brains functioning. But to me, the
Soul of Shame book offers a message of hope because
it just gives you an understanding of the brain's capacity
for healing and how that aligns with the Christian belief
in redemption and restoration. Like you know in Romans twelve two,
where Apostle Paul wrote, do not conform to the pattern
of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of
(28:20):
your mind, and to me, that is straight up neuroplasticity, right,
and that's again why the Bible resonated so deeply. But
also Kurt Thompson has a way of sharing how the
brain has this remarkable capacity for renewal and transformation, and
I just love how he connects the idea of, you know,
the concept of sanctification with the understanding in neuroscience that
(28:40):
the brain's plasticity can allow the process of anyone becoming
more christ Like. Bottom line, it's so worth a read,
even just for the experience of exploring a bit more
about how our brain processes narratives and stories and how
our faith stories shape our identity and how you can
examine it and you see the stories you're telling yourself
and frame them to align with the truth of how
(29:03):
God sees you. So I'll link that in the show notes.
You'll definitely hear me talk about him in the future.
So that's why I wanted to introduce him to you now.
And what I would consider the neurobiology side of the
faith brain connection, especially when it comes to you know,
shame and worthiness. Now, the neuropsychology of faith of the
faith brain connection chip Dowd. Okay, he's got a book again,
(29:23):
multiple books, but the one I'm talking about here is
called The Voice of the Heart, and the Voice of
the Heart it's a call to full living, is the subtitle.
But to me, it's like a roadmap to understanding our feelings.
And it's all about how our emotions aren't just these
random things that we deal with. They are this key
part of being human. And he really dives into this
(29:44):
idea that our emotions aren't there to mess us up, right,
they're actually super important signals about what we need and
what we care about. And if we can look at
them as signals, like imagine a smoke detector if it's beeping,
like it's either telling you that there's it needs a
battery or there's a fire, right, but it's telling you
something right. And he's all about saying like, hey, it's
okay to feel everything like good, that ugly, the works,
(30:07):
but pay attention to those signals. Pay attention to the
feelings so you can just get a better handle on
your life. And it's kind of like learning a new
language of emotions that helps us grow so that we
can be real with ourselves and with others, right, and
so specifically he walks you through the eight feelings and
to kind of help us name what we're experiencing in
our heart. And I love one of my favorite things
(30:27):
about his framework is he talks about how each feeling
has a gift if we're available to it, right, but
it also has an impairment if we aren't like what
I would call, you know, being emotionally available to ourselves.
If we're not emotionally available to ourselves, that same feeling
can impair us, right. And so I love how Chip
DoD he just makes it so accessible because yes, it's
(30:48):
shared through a lens of psychology, but he blends it
so beautifully with personal anecdotes and just like really practical wisdom.
And I just love that he gives you this framework
to engage with your emotions and recognize them as signals
of your needs and desires, kind of like a guide
to decode the language of emotion so that you can,
you know, really navigate them rather than feeling like a
(31:09):
victim to them or feeling out of control. So again,
I'll link that in the show notes, and you're definitely
gonna hear me talk about him in the future. So
wanted to introduce him to you now and what I
would consider the neuropsychology side of the faith brain connection,
especially when it comes to shame and worthiness. And of
course I'm sure you guessed it, because this is the
what's God got to do with it? Podcasts. Let's look
(31:30):
at what God has to say about shame and worthiness,
and of course we're going to unpack this more specifically
as we get into the five God Blocks over the
coming weeks. So Isaiah sixty one seven, this is the
NIV version, says, instead of your shame, you will receive
a double portion, and instead of disgrace, you will rejoice
(31:51):
in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double
portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.
And to me, that's an invitation, almost like in exchange
or a bargain. And to me, it's God saying like, okay,
try this out. You give me your shame, and I'll
give you everlasting joy and more than you could imagine.
Like specifically, he says double portion. And again I know
(32:13):
it takes faith to have faith, but that's where, in
my opinion, the magic all happens. In Romans ten eleven,
this is also the NIV version, Apostle Paul says as
Scripture says, anyone who believes in Him will never be
put to shame. And so to me, this reminds me
that where there's toxic shame that is not coming from God,
(32:35):
he will never put us to shame. And specifically it
says to anyone who believes in Him, which reminds me
that my faith is enough to have it. That fact
that I believe and receive that I'm righteous like that
is so different than looking to my scale weight or
relationship status to get that worthiness. Right. So I love that,
(32:55):
And then I'll give you one more Psalm three three
and also NIV version and says, but you Lord are
a shield around me, my glory, the one who lifts
my head high, okay. And to me, that's a reminder
that again he is the one doing the heavy lifting
in this identity conversation, right, And this is no longer
(33:16):
a conversation about self reliance and thinking I have to
do it through my own will or my own might.
It's just an invitation to let God in and just
see what happens. And that is just my invitation to
you as we go through this series and to just
think of it through these eyes and entertain the possibility
that what if this whole stepping into worthiness conversation thing
(33:39):
was a God conversation, And what if this time you
could invite God into the conversation and ask God to
meet you there and help you and support you unconditionally
and be your most supportive friend and trusted advisor. Because yes,
there is a science to it all, and shame is
not meant to be our emotional home. I deeply believe that.
(34:00):
But there is a way out of it. And in
order to get out of it, you must discover what
is keeping you in it. And that's what we're going
to do starting next week with the first ingredient and
first God block, accepting yourself and not accepting yourself when
you lose weight or reach some proverbial, metaphorical or literal
(34:21):
milestone I mean right now as you are right here,
right now. So we will talk about it next week.
We'll be back with more what's God got to do
with it? But in the meantime, I would definitely love
to hear from you, So just tell me where you
are in your story or maybe what questions you have,
(34:42):
like where do you feel you need clarity or support
or wisdom in your own journey. I definitely want to
hear from you, So head on over to What's God
Got to Do with It? Dot com and scroll down
to the form to share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback,
and you can do that instantly. So What's God Got
to Do with It dot Com You'll find all the
(35:03):
ways to do that. And if you like this podcast
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It really means so much. What's God Got to Do
(35:26):
With It is an iHeartRadio podcast on the Amy Brown
Podcast Network. It's written and hosted by Leanne Ellington, executive
produced by Elizabeth Fozzio, post production and editing by Houston Tilley,
and original music written by Cheryl Starf and produced by
Adam Stark.
If you want to go on a journey.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
If you're skeptical, don't worry. Now here to preach.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
You're gonna keep it clean and talk to me and
recause where faith needs starts nature and get in touch
with your creator with a bacon, love and jo She
even speaks Hebrew.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
What's that?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
What's that? As well said Polation talking transformation?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
What's done?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Gonzo?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Welcome back to What's God got to do with it?
And thank you so much for all the feedback that
we've received for you, and thank you to everyone who
has followed or liked or subscribed to the podcast. And
if you like what you've heard, we have so much
great content on the way for you, starting today, where
we're kicking off a new series of intertwining episodes that
are going to connect a lot of dots from previous
(01:06):
episodes but also pave the way for future episodes and
kind of act like this overarching big picture view of
our upcoming series. Specifically, I'll be introducing you to what
I call the five blocks to God's Love and how
I discovered that for me when it came to actually
feeling worthy of being loved and not feeling like I
(01:28):
had to you know, earn it or like when I'm
this or do that, then I'll be lovable, I mean
loved right now as I am. That was really hard
for me to grasp at first. It's like something was
kind of blocking me. And I call it the paradox
of worthiness, as in, how do you feel worthy when
you don't feel worthy? Because there's so much talk nowadays
(01:50):
about self love and worthiness, but the crucial question remains,
how do we truly embrace it if all we've ever
known is the opposite? Like how do you suddenly feel
worthy if all you've ever known is feeling unworthy? And
the problem is we're being bombarded with feel good affirmations
and fake positivity and platitudes that fail to address our
(02:12):
deep seated insecurities. And that's because, you know, really only
a little bit is being spoken about the science of
the self image, which I've talked a lot about on
this podcast. But also, as you've learned, why the Bible
resonated with me so deeply because it one hundred percent
aligned with how our brains work and neuroplasticity and all
(02:33):
of that, and so our self image and the wiring
in our brains that is causing us to think and
act and feel and behave the way that we are.
That is the problem, but it's also the solution to
worthiness when we renew our minds of course, right, And
I talked all about that in episode seven, the faith
brain connection where self image meets neuroscience, and I shared
(02:58):
that and I'm going to really just over simple this here,
but when it comes to the goggles that we're seeing
ourselves through and our perceptions of ourselves, and you know,
really why we do what we do on a brain
level that is dictated by an often overlooked part of
the brain called the anterior singulate cortex or ACC or
I call it the social brain. And when we tap
(03:20):
into the power of this part of the brain, that's
where we hold the keys to the science of the
self image. And this is how we can create that
you know, three dimensional mental, emotional, spiritual, physical health, all
of it, and feel true worthiness down in our bones.
And so we also talked about on that episode how
faith has been scientifically proven to influence that part of
(03:43):
the brain, not to mention, alleviate physical pain, and help
heal from addiction, but also how you know, for years
I was teaching the science of the self image as
more of a personal development or brain changing way of thinking.
But when I invited God into that conversation, like wow, right,
And so if you missed that episode, go back and
(04:04):
check that out and you can just search faith brain
connection and it should come right up. So back to
the five blocks to God's love. What I discovered was
when it came to actually feeling worthy of being loved
and not feeling like I had to earn it or
like you know, I said, when I do this or that,
then I'll be lovable. I mean loved right now as
I am. That didn't just magically happen for me because
(04:27):
of that resistance I mentioned that was blocking me from
getting it, and I'm saying getting it and putting that
in air quotes. But God wasn't blocking me, and my
circumstances weren't blocking me. I was blocking me and my
thoughts and perception of myself was what was blocking what
was available to me. And this is the perfect time
(04:48):
to connect the dots from last week's episode, Jesus take
the wheel from self reliance to God's Guidance with my
dear friend Ketrick Nole, where rewind about four or five
years ago you know, and Ketrick told me something that
I flat out did not want to hear. And keep
in mind that four or five years ago when I
was just starting to dip my toes into Christianity and
(05:10):
just starting my relationship with God and getting to know
this guy called Jesus, so I was still you know,
like a little baby Christian or heck, I still feel
like I am that still to this day that I digress.
So I'm volunteering at the Teen Dream Center that's where
I met Ketrick, and on certain days they would break
out into enrichment for the girls and enrichment for the guys,
(05:32):
and I remember thinking like, wow, my self image curriculum
would be so incredibly powerful for these teenage girls. So
I offered to teach my curriculum to the girls, specifically,
you know, thinking I could teach the five self image
ingredients that I had been teaching for over a decade.
And Ketrick was super sweet about it, but he was like, Okay, Lean,
(05:52):
your self image curriculum is great, but I don't want
you to teach it to the teenage girls at the
Teen Dream Center yet. Okay he said yet, And I
was like, ah, Like the nerve of him to tell
me that it wasn't ready or that I wasn't ready
or whatever I perceived him to be saying. And yes,
I was a little bit, you know, but hurt, as
(06:12):
the kids nowadays say when I first heard him say that,
But that's only because I didn't get it right. That is,
I didn't get it until I did get it. And
now I can see that he had a very good
reason to say that to me, And it was because
I was still teaching self love and self worth as
something that you do strictly through your own strength. In
(06:35):
other words, it was this hyper independent reliance on self
to do all of the heavy lifting. And in a
world that often encourages, you know, self sufficiency, this concept
of letting go and allowing God to take the lead
that can feel a little daunting, or if you're anything
like me, like it was totally foreign. So before we
(06:58):
get into any more of this, you know, relinquishing shame
and stepping into worthiness conversation, and before I connect any
more dots to the neuroscience or neuro faith side of things,
I want you to first look at it through the
lens of what Ketrick and I talked about last week,
where it's not about doing it just through your own strength,
even though that might be what you learned. I know
(07:18):
it's what I learned. But it's about shifting from total
self reliance to allowing God's guidance to come in. And
that's why I'm inviting you to see this topic of
shame and this topic of transforming your view of yourself
in a whole new light. And so if you think
that asking for help is weakness, as I raise my
hand in admission, because that was me most of my life.
(07:41):
And if you struggle with this idea of surrendering your
burdens over to God or a higher power, and boy
did I ever like I'll be the first to admit that.
And if you constantly feel like you have to prove
how strong or able or tough or fill in the
blank you are, and again, there is no judgment about
any of this, like this was my entire life before
(08:02):
I let God in. Well, before we go any further
in this episode, I'm just first and foremost inviting you
to simply try on a new definition of surrender and
the profound impacts that can happen when you shift from
self reliance to God's guidance and no longer looking at
this as something that you have to do on your own,
(08:24):
but letting God in to do the heavy lifting. Like
not just your logic brain here, I'm not talking to
just logic anymore. Like I'm really inviting you to use
your spiritual brain and see this through spiritual eyes. And again,
this was so hard for me to grasp. So if
this is a stretch for you, I see you, I
(08:44):
get you, I feel you, and I am not here
to convince you, but just here to invite you to
see what you to see that you don't have to
do all of this yourself. And this is the perfect
place to invite God in and say, hey, God, me
me here, Like, help me see what you see. Help
me with my demons, help me with my past, help
(09:06):
me with my shame and my loneliness and my self criticism,
and help me with depression and body image shame and
coping mechanisms or whatever it is you're currently dealing with. Okay,
so back to the five God blocks. It's so interesting
because I have been teaching my five ingredient self imaging
formula to my clients for over a decade, but what
(09:26):
I realized was that those same five ingredients. When I
looked at them another way, they weren't just ingredients, okay,
looked at from another angle or really in reality, it
was just looking at them through spiritual eyes, I realized
that they were actually where I was blocking God's love
and any love for that matter, from coming my way
(09:47):
and truly receiving it. Like that was the resistance that
I was telling you about, Like that's what was blocking
me from feeling the power or the truth in that.
And that's why I now call them God blocks. Where again,
God wasn't blocking me, and my circumstances weren't blocking me.
I was blocking me like my thoughts, my perception of
(10:09):
myself was what was blocking what was available to me.
And how when I looked at those same ingredients through
my spiritual eyes, the things I was once relying on
to like you know, relying on only me to feel
responsible for or thinking I had to do it all
through my own might and own strength, I realized that
those were the things that were blocking me from again
(10:32):
not just the love of God, but the love of
anyone in this universe that wanted to give their love
to me. So whether it was friends, family, relationships, and
boy that is a topic on its own, but there
are five God blocks in total, and I promised to
walk you through each one in depth on this series.
But the reason this felt so revelatory for me is
(10:54):
because when I simply became aware of those five blocks,
and I acknowledged them and cared for them, all of
a sudden, they were no longer blocks, like they became
like a powerful gateway or bridge to connection and to
worthiness and to peace, like so much peace. And it
allowed me to invite God in right there and ask
(11:15):
him to help me. And then my prayers just again
became things like, God, meet me here, and help me
see what you see, and help me with my shame,
and help me find worthiness, and help me unblock what's
blocking me from you and remove anything or unlearn any
lie that is not coming from you. And that's why
I believe it's so important to recognize your own blocks,
(11:37):
as in, what's keeping you from receiving the love that's
available to you right now, and what's keeping you from
feeling like you are worthy of receiving love and worthy
of being taken care of or valued beyond the size
of your genes or your bank balance or your relationship status.
And so if you've heard my five ingredients of self
Imaging recipe before, and there's a good chance you have,
(12:01):
I promise that you have never heard them share the
way that I'm going to share them in this series.
And that's only because I didn't see them the way
that I see them today until I did see them
that way. And that's why I'm so excited to just
get this conversation started, or really, like I said, continue it.
So we're going to talk about what that looks like
through the faith brain lens or the neurofaith lens, but
(12:23):
also what does this look like through God's eyes? Okay,
but before we do, I just want to kind of
share an example. So if you heard episode six how
God helped me heal my fears about being alone the
(12:43):
rest of my life, I shared what a big deal
it is that as I'm recording this, I'm actually getting
married in about a week. But it's not the wedding
that's such a big deal. It's what God unblocked for
me along my journey. That is what I really want
you to see. And I'm so excited because I kind
of left myself breadcrumbs along the way, and I didn't
even know it, and you're gonna be able to see
(13:05):
what I mean in a second, because I truly believe
I'm getting married to my best friend and dream come
true husband at the ripe bul age of forty right.
But it was a journey. It was a journey getting here.
It was a journey getting there and feeling worthy of
receiving this love. And I shared all about it in
that episode. But for so much of my life, I
had the five blocks to love that I'm going to
(13:26):
share with you, and they were keeping me from feeling
worthy of receiving that love from another human being. And
so what I'm about to share, I wrote this over
five years ago, okay, when keep in mind, I didn't
have a relationship with God yet when I wrote it.
But I truly believe it's a testament to what can
happen with the transformative power of the self image. And
of course He was with me all along, even if
(13:48):
I didn't know it yet. But even then, I believed
it to be true with my whole heart. And now
I know it to be true with my whole heart.
So I called it run your own race. Okay, this
is what I wrote. I turned thirty four a few
months ago. I'm not married. I'm not even in a
serious or committed relationship at the moment. According to some
(14:09):
timelines and storylines and guidelines, I am behind. To be honest,
I used to think I was too, But here's what
I say about it now. If I had entered into
a union or gotten married a few years ago, I
would have brought the following with me, all the feelings
of not enoughness, all the judgments of self criticalness, all
(14:31):
the cause and effects of unhappiness, disconnection from myself, disconnection
from my body, disconnection from all the love that's already
there in my life, self created goggles that always saw
me through a lens of fat or stupid or broken,
a tough gal exterior that made me think I was
(14:51):
alone in this world and didn't need anything from anyone.
This feeling that I was unworthy of love, of a
lifelong commitment, or of unconditional acceptance. I would have always
been looking to someone or something else to tell me
who I was, tell me what to do, or air
quotes make me happy? That goes for a man, a career,
(15:13):
a gene size. It wouldn't have mattered, because I would
have always been the woman whose happiness and purpose and
identity were always coming in from everything outside of her,
and the truth chances are I would have been divorced
by the age of thirty four thirty five tops, not
because we didn't love and or like each other, but
because I didn't like me and I couldn't and wouldn't
(15:37):
have been able to receive love from another human being.
So yeah, maybe by some people's standards or timelines, I
am behind, But the way I see it, that time
couldn't have been better well spent or better invested. Here
is who I went and became. I started the journey
of getting to know myself truly, naked, warts and all.
(15:59):
I started the journey of learning to accept myself, accept
my past, and accept responsibility for my own happiness, purpose,
and meaning. I learned how to connect with myself, connect
with my body, and use that connection as my medicine
and my drug of choice. I learned to value myself
not solely by the number on the scale, my bank
(16:20):
account balance, or my relationship status, but by the love
in my heart, the words in my soul, and the
new values driven currency that I created and I defined.
I learned to love, to be present, to love, to
give it, to receive it, and to be it. And
now here I am ready to love and be loved,
(16:41):
to give it and more importantly receive it, ready to
connect and create intimacy and truly be seen. I'm exactly
who I need to be and where I need to
be to go invite all the magic and awesomeness and
love into my life that I desire. And so are you. Son.
Anyone out there who feels behind or not on track,
(17:04):
or like time is running out, run your own race,
Create your own timelines, craft your own guidelines, and narrate
your own storylines. Don't let other people's versions of who
you should be, where you should be, or what you
should be cast shadows of doubt, comparison or not enoughness.
(17:24):
And don't let it pressure you or influence you into
making decisions that go against your intuition or against your
better judgment. It's your race, it's your story, it's your life,
and you only have one, so go live it for you.
Live it by your rules and guidelines, create your own
timelines and storylines, and I think you'll find that little
(17:45):
by little, the ticking time bomb goes away, the fear
of judgment starts to subside, and you will become more
and all of who you really are. Okay. So again,
remember I wrote that before I had a relationship with God,
and I can absolutely see how I was totally in
self reliance like we talked about, and this idea of
(18:08):
allowing God's guidance to come in and do the heavy lifting, well,
that was not even remotely in my consciousness, or at
least that I knew, because I was thinking that I
had to do all the heavy lifting, and I was
trying to logic and reason my way through my deeper struggles,
hence using words like self love and then having my
five self image ingredients paving the way, and the idea
(18:29):
of allowing God int do the heavy lifting, while yes,
I was an active participant and took radical ownership of
my ability to influence my life and use my free
will because God doesn't control that, that was so hard
for me to grasp. So again, if this is a
stretch for you, I get it. I feel you. And
again I'm not here trying to convince you. I'm just
(18:51):
inviting you to see that you don't have to do
all of this yourself. Okay, But that's why I'm so
adamant about sharing this because again, when you also see
that those same ingredients or that I'm going to share
with you, when you see them through the lens of okay,
but what if that's what's blocking me from truly receiving
God's love or anyone's love. It really is a big wow,
(19:12):
like it's an aha hopefully right. And for me, it
just it hits differently, like again, it released the pressure
valve for me, it took some of the weight off
of me to do it all by myself. But it
also it kind of like softened my heart and it
postured me towards a new kind of love and acceptance
and identity and worthiness and so yeah, you get it.
(19:35):
Like I believe in the brain science side of this,
I just shared the transformation that's possible. But when you
add in the secret ingredient of God, and for me
it was Jesus, it's a whole new level one that
you didn't even know you could get to. And that's
why I'm so excited to share both like the self
image side of shame and worthiness and then the neuro
(19:55):
faith side of it. So let's just connect those dots
to help you really linquish your own shame and step
into your own worthiness. Okay, So this whole faith brain
connection and what I mean when I say where self
image meets neuroscience and I shared with you in the
very first episode a scientist goes looking for God. That
meeting myself in my skeptical, cynical mind, but also stepping
(20:17):
into a God conversation around things I was, you know,
previously trying to do through my own might and will.
It was so powerful for me because A it completed
my story, but also b it met me in what
I already knew about the magic and wonder of the
brain and the nervous system, right. And that's why, really,
for the last fifteen years of my life, I've been
obsessed with studying this stuff, like what is it that
(20:40):
makes us see and perceive ourselves the way that we do?
And why do our brains play tricks on us? Right?
And why do we do what we do? And for me,
this all started because I was having questions like why
did I just lose one hundred pounds and totally make
over my body, but I'm still seeing myself as fat, right?
And why do I still feel like a crazy sugar addict?
And why do I still feel unworthy and unlovable fill
(21:01):
in the blank. And why didn't my mind and my
brain and my self image play catch up when my
body physically transformed, right, And that's really why I became
obsessed with researching and understanding the intricacies of the human
brain and self image, because again, I suffered and struggled
with this for decades and the world was throwing a
lot of, you know, diets essentially at my deeper problems.
(21:22):
And really this stuff is not taught in the mainstream,
and it's not made readily available, and that's why I'm
so purposeful about getting this way of thinking out there.
But it's also rare that I find anyone talking about
what God has to do with it, all right, with
our own shame and our own blocks to worthiness, and
how that can be like if you're willing to go
(21:43):
there a pivotal piece of the puzzle. But we can't
talk about shame without talking about you probably guessed it
your self image and the goggles that you're seeing yourself
through day in day out, And it's your personal view
or mental picture that you have of yourself. And so
when you think about all the thoughts that you think
about yourself on a day to day basis. You know,
maybe you're calling yourself things like intelligent and kind and
(22:05):
beautiful or talented, whatever, but maybe you're also calling yourself
a loser or ugly or a disappointment or unlovable or
whatever fill in the blank. But basically, however you're regarding yourself,
how you view your strengths or weaknesses, you are defining yourself.
You're like painting a picture and then you live into
that story and that picture, and then your beliefs and
(22:26):
habits and behaviors follow that story. And that's how the
fired and wired things get fired and wired in your brain.
And that's why I always say that what you see
is who you be, which is just to say that
how you're showing up in your life. So whether that's physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally,
like whatever, right, it's going to be a direct reflection
of what you see as being true about yourself relative
(22:50):
to that area. So if you see yourself as beautiful, lovable, irreplaceable,
then you be someone who shows up as beautiful, lovable, irreplaceable.
What you see is who you be. But on the
other hand, if you see yourself as you know, flawed
or unlovable, unworthy, ugly, whatever it is, You're gonna be
the person who meets the circumstances of your life as
(23:12):
that person, because again, what you see is who you be.
And that's why doing all of the air quotes you know,
out their work stuff like you know, Diet's Jim, goal
based stuff, motivational stuff, it tends to fall short for
us or it doesn't really address the deeper stuff going on,
because we will only be the person that we see, right,
And when I say what you see is who you be,
(23:35):
That's why I always say that transformation truly, like true transformation,
like absolute you know, I don't even recognize myself kind
of transformation. It really does begin with the self image
and stepping into a new identity. And I've shared this before,
you know, I learned this again after losing one hundred
pounds and making over my body. But because I didn't
address the wiring that was causing me to think and
(23:56):
act and feel and behave like I was unworthy and
like I said a minute ago, I still felt I
was fat, or I just was like, oh, you're always
going to be like this, or you know whatever, painful
words I was using. Yeah, I lost a lot of weight,
but I never transformed my identity. And of course, because
of that, what you see is who you be. I
brought all my old habits and thinking and behaviors with me,
(24:17):
because I brought my old self image with me. Right now,
keep in mind, when I started on my path, I
didn't have God in my life, or at least didn't
know I did. But by some divine miracle, I eventually
had the insight and awareness to realize I was never
going to be able to outsmart the wiring in my
brain and self image, and I wasn't going to be
able to do it all on my own. Like I
(24:38):
needed help and I needed a lifeline, and yes, in
many ways, like I needed to be saved from myself.
I needed help and I needed a lifeline, and yes,
in many ways like I needed to be saved from
(24:59):
my myself, which is such a departure from self reliance
if you think about it, right, But that's why I
get so excited to bring God into this conversation and
into this upcoming series that we're going to start next
week and talk about what's God got to do with it?
When it comes to your own shame and worthiness, because
I believe there's absolutely a faith brain connection because when
(25:20):
it comes to the collective stories that you're telling yourself
on repeat, and yeah, you might be using words like unworthy, unlovable,
or identifying with shame, but it's also those stories we
tell ourselves that aren't that like finite or we can't
put our finger on it, or maybe we're just calling
ourselves different or weird or alone or isolated like stuff
like that. And so if you're anything like me, I
(25:41):
also thought I was crazy, like I thought I was broken,
And that's its own rabbit hole, right, and that because
we feel all those things, but when we're down that
rabbit hole, we also feel isolated and super disconnected. And
then isolation and disconnection disconnection is its own rabbit hole,
or at least it can be if our self image
is untamed and just kind of growing metaphorical weeds without
(26:04):
us weeding the metaphorical garden. But in reality my own
rabbit hole, I can look back at it and know
that it was made up of my own God blocks
and where I was blocking love and worthiness from actually
being received. And I believe it's possible that you might
be too, as in, like, what's keeping you from receiving
the love that's available to you right now? And what's
(26:27):
keeping you from feeling like you're worthy of receiving love
and being taken care of or valued beyond the size
of your genes or bank balance or how you know,
air quotes together, you think you are or think you're not.
So we're going to talk all about those five blocks
starting next week. But first, you know, I've shared a
lot of my own perspective on the neurofaith side of things,
(26:48):
so I actually want to introduce you to two of
my favorite teachers and authors perspectives on the subject of
shame and worthiness, And if you're interested in doing a
deep dive, then this is where I invite you to
check these guys out. By the way, in the name
of praying and asking God to do the heavy lifting.
Like total side note, I would love to have both
of these guys that I'm gonna share with you on
the podcast. So I'm just calling that out right now. God, Okay,
(27:12):
you hear me, Like, this is me praying for that, Okay.
So the way I describe it is one of these
guys shares a faith based viewpoint on the neurobiology of
shame and worthiness, and one shares a faith based viewpoint
on the neuropsychology of shame and worthiness. And I'll just
give you a bit of an overview. Both of them
have books. Actually, you know, both of them have several books,
(27:33):
but if you want to learn more about them and
their theories, I'm going to recommend that you check them out,
and I'll link everything in the show notes. But the
first is a man named Kurt Thompson who wrote, among
other things, The Soul of Shame, Retelling the Stories we
Believe about Ourselves, where he not only takes you through,
you know, the neuroscience of shame and explaining how shame
isn't just a psychological or emotional experience, but it's really
(27:57):
deeply rooted in the brains functioning. But to me, the
Soul of Shame book offers a message of hope because
it just gives you an understanding of the brain's capacity
for healing and how that aligns with the Christian belief
in redemption and restoration. Like you know in Romans twelve two,
where Apostle Paul wrote, do not conform to the pattern
of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of
(28:20):
your mind, and to me, that is straight up neuroplasticity, right,
and that's again why the Bible resonated so deeply. But
also Kurt Thompson has a way of sharing how the
brain has this remarkable capacity for renewal and transformation, and
I just love how he connects the idea of, you know,
the concept of sanctification with the understanding in neuroscience that
(28:40):
the brain's plasticity can allow the process of anyone becoming
more christ Like. Bottom line, it's so worth a read,
even just for the experience of exploring a bit more
about how our brain processes narratives and stories and how
our faith stories shape our identity and how you can
examine it and you see the stories you're telling yourself
and frame them to align with the truth of how
(29:03):
God sees you. So I'll link that in the show notes.
You'll definitely hear me talk about him in the future.
So that's why I wanted to introduce him to you now.
And what I would consider the neurobiology side of the
faith brain connection, especially when it comes to you know,
shame and worthiness. Now, the neuropsychology of faith of the
faith brain connection chip Dowd. Okay, he's got a book again,
(29:23):
multiple books, but the one I'm talking about here is
called The Voice of the Heart, and the Voice of
the Heart it's a call to full living, is the subtitle.
But to me, it's like a roadmap to understanding our feelings.
And it's all about how our emotions aren't just these
random things that we deal with. They are this key
part of being human. And he really dives into this
(29:44):
idea that our emotions aren't there to mess us up, right,
they're actually super important signals about what we need and
what we care about. And if we can look at
them as signals, like imagine a smoke detector if it's beeping,
like it's either telling you that there's it needs a
battery or there's a fire, right, but it's telling you
something right. And he's all about saying like, hey, it's
okay to feel everything like good, that ugly, the works,
(30:07):
but pay attention to those signals. Pay attention to the
feelings so you can just get a better handle on
your life. And it's kind of like learning a new
language of emotions that helps us grow so that we
can be real with ourselves and with others, right, and
so specifically he walks you through the eight feelings and
to kind of help us name what we're experiencing in
our heart. And I love one of my favorite things
(30:27):
about his framework is he talks about how each feeling
has a gift if we're available to it, right, but
it also has an impairment if we aren't like what
I would call, you know, being emotionally available to ourselves.
If we're not emotionally available to ourselves, that same feeling
can impair us, right. And so I love how Chip
DoD he just makes it so accessible because yes, it's
(30:48):
shared through a lens of psychology, but he blends it
so beautifully with personal anecdotes and just like really practical wisdom.
And I just love that he gives you this framework
to engage with your emotions and recognize them as signals
of your needs and desires, kind of like a guide
to decode the language of emotion so that you can,
you know, really navigate them rather than feeling like a
(31:09):
victim to them or feeling out of control. So again,
I'll link that in the show notes, and you're definitely
gonna hear me talk about him in the future. So
wanted to introduce him to you now and what I
would consider the neuropsychology side of the faith brain connection,
especially when it comes to shame and worthiness. And of
course I'm sure you guessed it, because this is the
what's God got to do with it? Podcasts. Let's look
(31:30):
at what God has to say about shame and worthiness,
and of course we're going to unpack this more specifically
as we get into the five God Blocks over the
coming weeks. So Isaiah sixty one seven, this is the
NIV version, says, instead of your shame, you will receive
a double portion, and instead of disgrace, you will rejoice
(31:51):
in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double
portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.
And to me, that's an invitation, almost like in exchange
or a bargain. And to me, it's God saying like, okay,
try this out. You give me your shame, and I'll
give you everlasting joy and more than you could imagine.
Like specifically, he says double portion. And again I know
(32:13):
it takes faith to have faith, but that's where, in
my opinion, the magic all happens. In Romans ten eleven,
this is also the NIV version, Apostle Paul says as
Scripture says, anyone who believes in Him will never be
put to shame. And so to me, this reminds me
that where there's toxic shame that is not coming from God,
(32:35):
he will never put us to shame. And specifically it
says to anyone who believes in Him, which reminds me
that my faith is enough to have it. That fact
that I believe and receive that I'm righteous like that
is so different than looking to my scale weight or
relationship status to get that worthiness. Right. So I love that,
(32:55):
And then I'll give you one more Psalm three three
and also NIV version and says, but you Lord are
a shield around me, my glory, the one who lifts
my head high, okay. And to me, that's a reminder
that again he is the one doing the heavy lifting
in this identity conversation, right, And this is no longer
(33:16):
a conversation about self reliance and thinking I have to
do it through my own will or my own might.
It's just an invitation to let God in and just
see what happens. And that is just my invitation to
you as we go through this series and to just
think of it through these eyes and entertain the possibility
that what if this whole stepping into worthiness conversation thing
(33:39):
was a God conversation, And what if this time you
could invite God into the conversation and ask God to
meet you there and help you and support you unconditionally
and be your most supportive friend and trusted advisor. Because yes,
there is a science to it all, and shame is
not meant to be our emotional home. I deeply believe that.
(34:00):
But there is a way out of it. And in
order to get out of it, you must discover what
is keeping you in it. And that's what we're going
to do starting next week with the first ingredient and
first God block, accepting yourself and not accepting yourself when
you lose weight or reach some proverbial, metaphorical or literal
(34:21):
milestone I mean right now as you are right here,
right now. So we will talk about it next week.
We'll be back with more what's God got to do
with it? But in the meantime, I would definitely love
to hear from you, So just tell me where you
are in your story or maybe what questions you have,
(34:42):
like where do you feel you need clarity or support
or wisdom in your own journey. I definitely want to
hear from you, So head on over to What's God
Got to Do with It? Dot com and scroll down
to the form to share your thoughts, your questions, your feedback,
and you can do that instantly. So What's God Got
to Do with It dot Com You'll find all the
(35:03):
ways to do that. And if you like this podcast
and want to hear more, go ahead and follow, like,
and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts to get your
weekly dose of What's God Got to Do with It?
New episodes drop every single Tuesday, and while you're there,
be sure to rate and review to show your support.
It really means so much. What's God Got to Do
(35:26):
With It is an iHeartRadio podcast on the Amy Brown
Podcast Network. It's written and hosted by Leanne Ellington, executive
produced by Elizabeth Fozzio, post production and editing by Houston Tilley,
and original music written by Cheryl Starf and produced by
Adam Stark.
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