May 23, 2024 • 40 mins
Singer, song-writer, philanthropist, husband & dad, Walker Hayes, is Amy’s guest this week. This is Walker’s third time on the podcast and this time, Amy & Walker are talking about addiction, sobriety, transfer addiction, parenting, gratitude, & more (like what 3 words Walker would tell his 18-year-old self…this is such a fun question to ask yourself and others too!)
Walker’s JCP Collection
Walker’s Non-Alcoholic ‘Fancy Like’ Beer
Walker’s SAME DRUNK TOUR
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST: Walker Hayes // walkerhayes.com // @WalkerHayes
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Kay cast up thing little food for yourself life. Oh
it's pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful thing beautiful for
that for a little more, it's exciting, said, he can
your kick in with full Thing.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
With Amy Brown, Happy Thursday.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Four Things Amy Here, and my guest today is Walker Hayes.
He's a singer, songwriter, philanthropist, father, husband, so many things
and Walker just has a lot going on right now.
It could be more pumped for the trajectory that his
career is on. This is his third time on the
podcast over the years, and today we are talking addiction,
(00:56):
sobriety transfer, addiction. When Walker for had alcohol he was
only thirteen years old. We talk parenting, like how does
he handle conversations about alcohol and other things with his kids.
We talk gratitude. We talk about what three words Walker
would tell his eighteen year old self and the three
(01:16):
words that he chose are so good. Which that's a
fun question to ask yourself and even your friends and family.
It goes like this, you get to tell your eighteen
year old self three words, just three words?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
What are they?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I would love to hear what your three words are?
You can share them with me. Four Things with Amy
Brown at gmail dot com or Paul and tell me
about them eight seven seven two o seven two oh
seven seven just call tell me the three words say
what up again? Walker's three words are so good. Here's
our chat. Hope you enjoy.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Walker.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
You've been sober eight years. Yeah, that's huge, so congratulations.
We all have our vices, and then there's transfer addiction.
Because for you, when you stopped drinking, your new quote
unquote drunk became going to the gym for four hours.
For others, they're drunk might be shopping, working, food, their
(02:18):
social media, gambling. Hence the idea behind your song and
the name of your tour same drunk. Yeah, girl, just
kind of the same drunk For you, when did you
know you first had a problem.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, I mean I started drinking at thirteen, so I
mean when I was thirteen, I remember hanging out with
some people at church and I was a sty super
awkward kid. I always wanted to be like my older
brothers and they were so cool. They were funny, and
they were athletic and very just like charismatic. But I
remember being with some friends at a church playground and
(02:56):
some older girls and they had some zemas and I
remember I hammered two zemas with like some jolly ranchers
in them, and I literally went from like I'm scared
the death of this certain girl to like, what's up?
How are you tonight? You know, and I just remember
being like, holy smokes, this is magic stuff, you know,
(03:21):
and so fast forward. I mean, shoot, I'm sure, I'm sure. Lane,
and I, you know, probably wasn't sober when we started
hanging out. When I started doing music, it was definitely
like have.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
A few beers before every show.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But the moment I stopped, I was thirty six and
I was working at Costco and I basically passed out
on the couch for a night straight. I mean my wife, Lanie,
she had basically pulled a drink out of my hand
before I fell asleep and spilled it for a year straight,
and on accident. I remember one night I said, yeah,
(03:58):
I know I have a problem. And I kind of
said that in an effort to like just have to
stop talking about it that night, you know, but I
was like, ah, you maybe I really do, you know,
have a problem. But when I woke up one Saturday,
it was in October, I don't really know, like the
day I stopped drinking. I just know it was in October.
(04:20):
I just knew I was gonna die. My body was
so tired that I just knew if I did it
one more day, I might die. I honestly can't really
explain it, but I didn't drink that day, and then
I didn't drink the next that was a Saturday, and
then you know, one day turn into two, and then
to turn into a week. You know, a week turn
(04:41):
into a month, and then then I just dreaded going
backwards because sobriety. Man, if you don't know what sobriety is, like, man,
it's amazing, Like it's it's like a drug in itself.
You're just like, oh healthy, felt amazing and it was scary.
But just mentally waking up without a hangover was like, whoa,
(05:02):
this is insane. It was like one hundred percent oxygen,
you know, coming to your brain for the first time. So, yeah,
I'll be nine years sober this October. You know, Lady
and I it was. It was one of our biggest
fights that we had. This sounds like like something we
should have known, but we merely learned that drinking is
(05:23):
just really a symptom of what's really the matter, you know,
with me, and that goes for everybody.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
You know, Drinking is just like it's a form of medication.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
You know. I think a lot of us use and
then as is all my coping mechanisms.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
We've all got some wounds. Drinking is not the wound.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
It's just what you're trying to pour on it to
make it feel better. So that was, you know, that
was tough for our marriage because it.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Was like, Ah, you don't drink anymore, it's gonna be amazing.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And then it was like, oh, it's not.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
It was like you're still you and you're still new.
Where's a lot.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
So that's been a good that's been a good learning experiment.
And honestly, I mean that's what that's what that song
sing Drunk is about. I mean, I just have a
gift that like, whatever I do, I just turn it
into this like band aid or crutch or place in
life that I think I can control that will make
(06:21):
me feel better. You know, you you touched on the gym.
I mean, I'm embarrassed to say. Is like I got
sober and I was like, all right, I'm gonna be
Dwayne Johnson. I was like I'm gonna be so jacked.
And I was like why, you know, like what but
it was just like drinking, you know, it was like
an escape, but it was less taboo, you know, like
you were talking about you know, some some addictions are
(06:45):
are less frowned upon. You might even consider them healthy. Like, oh,
I'm so proud of him, Like he's really taking some
me time. He's getting fit. That's sober, you know, and
and the world can lightie you know, a little bit
and make and maybe just a little bit to think
you just pour your life into green juice, that's a
better way to live.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Transfer addiction is a very common thing. I mean you
take one addictive type behavior, one compulsive behavior, and you
transfer it over to another thing. And when you're working
through sobriety, sometimes it'll show up in forms of sugar
and then now you're addicted to sugar, and it's just
it's like a process that you work through. For you
you were now working out at the gym for four hours.
(07:28):
And I feel like because the lyrics are a lot
of times, I mean this is a serious matter. I mean,
same drunk, and then you've named the tour that same drunk.
So I feel like there could be some irony of
people coming to a show and like really listening to things,
and then I feel like maybe even looking down and
having this moment of like they're holding a beer, they're drinking,
(07:48):
they're having a good time, They're like, wait a second, Yeah,
I mean the opening lyrics of same drunkers well sisters
hooked on another jackass, Mama's hooked on looking young, daddy's
hooked on cutting the grass, brothers hooked on smoking some
is like we all can have our things that we're
using to mask.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
What the real issue is.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
And so what you're saying is the last eight years
you've been having to address and figure out what that
is and work through it.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, and I'm in I don't know if whatever gets
to the bottom of it, Like, I don't know if
there's any answer. I just find a lot of peace
and just going Okay, that's what we do. Like Lenny
and I we're gonna be married twenty years and I
have yet to wake up and love her not selflessly.
(08:37):
That saddens me, but it also kind of frees me
to go, oh, that's kind of what's wrong with humanity.
That's people's downfall, you know, and it's good to analyze
those motives and go, I'm sorry, Lenny, I want to
love you, not for myself, for just you, because you desert.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
I love you and I don't want anything in return.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I'm not doing the dishes tonight. So you'll make out
with me later. I think if you step back and
look at life, it's just nice to go, oh, we
were kind of like, that's kind of what we do.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
You know, that's that's what's wrong with us.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And so yeah, to me, that's my that's my therapy,
being like, oh man, it's so free to learn about
humans and our tendencies and our downfalls and things like
that that have been going on for a gazillion years.
But you're right, you know, sometimes like I always sing
an AA or saying drug and I'll see I'll see
somebody in the crowd and I'll be like.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
I'm not judging, I'm just saying what it is.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Like if you're drink it out there, let's go. It's
all good, you know. But that is an interesting moment
that happened at my ship.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Well, I think for you, there's probably been a lot
of therapeutic moments in your songwriting obviously, and for those
of us to get to enjoy what amazing songwriters like
you put out there. I mean, there's so much healing
for us, like when we're listening to it, and there
I bet through your vulnerability through your music, there are
(10:05):
those aha moments of people and they don't they don't
feel judged by you. They just feel like, oh, maybe
there's this this connection They feel like, I can't imagine
that you haven't heard stories. I don't know, maybe from
beer and a fridge. Has anybody reached out to you
about after listening to that song and being like whoaha,
whoa that hit a little too close to home and
it woke me up a little bit.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, I mean, what a gift from God. You know,
as a parent, you're gonna I mean, I'm gonna get
emotional when I started telling them this could I'm in
the thick of it with my kids, just on a
few things that they're struggling with. And this isn't like
woe is me, but like I was taught, I was
a lonely kid, you know, and lonely is dark. One
(10:48):
of my least favorite places could be is in the
house with Laney, but very hateful and resentful is when
you're lonely next to someone, that's the worst. I mean,
oh my god, like nothing is as painful as loneliness.
And so you know, maybe that's why I am so
vomited with my things, as almost as if to say, hey,
(11:11):
I gotta tell you I struggle with this. Oh my god,
it's just carry me up inside because I'm lonely with it.
And I just just want you to know how I
struggle with this, and that that has been such a
relief to communicate with her, to communicate with my kids
and go, hey, you know you put that on this pedestal.
Let me tell you, son, I have trouble with what
(11:32):
I look at on social I have trouble with what
I look at in the gym. I have trouble with
where my eyes go. I need to share this with
you because I don't want to be alone with this
this stuff, cause it's really tearing me up. I had
coffee with the guy today that this dude he read
glad you're here, and the loss of a kid kind
(11:54):
of destroyed his marriage. But he, honestly, I think he
just want a friend, Like I don't think cares whether
I'm famous or not. He just got a glimpse of
some stuff you know that's happened to me and was
just like, maybe Stud would have coffee with me.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
I need him as much as he needs me. It's
definitely scary.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Sometimes to be like, hey, I'm kind of an a
hole and I kind of am not good at this
and I kind of struggle with this, but I've never
regretted just admitting it and the blessings that come out
of other people, you know, sharing with me, and that
(12:34):
unification that we share and just and we need help.
I need camaraderie. I don't want to be by myself
with this. It's not the easiest thing, you know, to
be like, hey everyone, I am weak as a dude.
That's not like the funnest, most inviting place you know
to be, but it's it's really what keeps my wife
(12:55):
and I just kind of feeling like the Lord has
us doing what we're doing.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
For for a kind of a reason. If that makes
an instrument.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Yeah, everything you've been through, it's like, well you can
filter it through. What has this made possible for your family?
And you're one on one connections with people that you
don't even know they live halfway around the world who knows,
but there's that connection through the gifts and talents that
you've been given and because you're willing to be vulnerable
(13:25):
and amid things that other men might be like what.
I would never tell anybody that, but they see you
doing it, and then it's a domino effect.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah, it's been magical, but it's also came from a
lot of brokenness. But it's just everybody. Every single person's
fighting some battle you don't know about. And so yeah,
Lenny and I really felt always felt compelled to just
fit it all out there and quit acting like everything's
just hockey dory over here.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
How do you talk to your kids about alcohol? How
do you talk to your kids about alcohol?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
They're probably damaged because I won't shut up about it.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Laney and I have never been like, oh innocent, let's
not telling them about this. I mean, Landy and I
were a crap show in high school and they know
it all. Lanny's dad found us in a basement, not
a lot of clothes on, threw me in the garage,
bud light cans everywhere, gave Lanny the don't get pregnant speech,
and then Lanny drove me off. I mean this was
two weeks after we started dating, So that was us
(14:34):
from the get go. And they know that. They know
every moment I'm not proud of. They know some massive
mistakes that Laney and I have both made in marriage,
all the alcohol stuff, all the consequences of any decision
I made intoxicated. They've seen mom and Dad fight. Laney
(14:55):
and I have never been like, hold on, kid, we're
going to go to the bathroom now and just get
like we just don't have the self control. And I
pray to God that that will just help them, you know,
more than it hurts them later in life, and that
they'll know when their marriage does get hard, or when
their jobs sucks, or when they're faced with a struggle.
(15:16):
I hope they will will just feel hopeful somehow. But
the truth of the matters, we're all going to screw
up our kids. I think that's just what can happen.
And so yeah, I think we all just need to
be prepared to like apologize as much as we can
and help them out with their therapy thing you know
(15:37):
that they need, or their medication or whatever, you know,
just just stand alongside of them and just and just
be like, I know, I know I'm super sorry.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Well, I just so for sure have those moments where
I don't know if you can relate to this, that
something happens and in that moment you have this thought
of like okay, yeah, that for sure just sent them
to therapy or like ten years from now, they're definitely
bringing this moment up totally.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Oh one thousand percent.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
I mean, I don't know how much many people can
relate to this, but like you know, Mother's Day just
went by, and I mean I royal, I swear amy.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
I have like a complex for some reason. On every holiday.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Father's Day, Mother's Day, Birthday, I feel like I'm in
a cage and I just like my knee won't stop bouncing,
and I make it about me like I don't understand
what happened. I just explode. And I know that all
my kids they're gonna be like, what's wrong with me?
On the holiday, and then they're gonna they're gonna retrace
(16:37):
and be like dad did this thing every holiday, you know,
and it's crazy, like I am joyful. Joy is so
easy for me to find, except on a holiday. I
don't understand what the and it infuriates me because I
feel like I can master certain things. But yeah, my kid,
(17:00):
they're gonna they're damnaged like that. They're gonna always be like, God,
well Mother's Day go away. Dad ruined it all the time.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
And wait, I feel like, well, grat we need an
example of how you ruin holidays and how if you
know that this is a pattern, like, why are we
not working towards fixing it?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
I know, I'm glad that you you said that and
didn't just let me continue because it is a it
is a.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Me problem, and I don't know the psychology.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Maybe it's my relationship with my mom, you know, maybe
maybe the mother's Day thing. Maybe it triggers some things
where you're like, I don't like that. This doesn't feel good.
And then rather than like, explain that problem or address
that problem or process it in a healthy way. Most
(17:49):
people that love me a lot, they get the shrapnel,
and I probably don't like me much. And when I
don't like me much, I don't like anybody that's dear me. Like,
if I can reach you, look the freak out because
I'm not gonna have a nice look. I'm not gonna
have a nice thing to say. And I don't like
this about me but yeah, I feel like that's kind
(18:10):
of what happens. Lady is like, oh my god, I
mean you talk about mom. I mean she's insane. And
what's crazy is I'm like, I'm like another kid, Like,
I mean she does so ray, she's amazing. But then
there's also this weird pressure on holidays. Does the mother
(18:30):
feel like this? I feel like this on Father's Day,
I feel like I have to perform accordingly to everyone's
action towards me, which by the end of that day,
I'm like, oh my god, I'm losing my mind. I
don't know. Holidays are complicated.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Aby, yeah, well, and I think that they're unique to
each person. Like you just said, maybe there's something with
your mom that comes up for you on Mother's Day,
Like I don't know what it is with the other holidays,
but I think it's communicy is important, Like if you
communicate to your loved ones, this is what would be
nice for me on this day, if you're wanting to
(19:07):
celebrate me, and you really figure out what that looks like,
because I feel like some moms they just want to
be with their kids for Mother's Day and that's all
they look forward to and they can't wait. And then
I have another friend where she popped by on Mother's Day.
She wanted to like lay out at my pool. I
was doing other things. I was like, sure, goal layout,
and she walked in and I thought she was bringing
her son.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
She's a single mom. I was like, oh, you're bringing
your son to swim too, and she goes, oh, no,
I don't do kids on Mother's Day. And she walked
in by herself.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
And so I feel like you can fit either into
the spectrum or maybe something in the middle, but you
have to. Like she's communicated and her parents live in town,
so they take She's like, hey, mom, dad, you take
my son. I'm going to go get some alone time
for Mother's Day. That's what I would like for you.
And I I mean, even with your dad, I think
of Father's Day coming up. I don't know, ever since
(19:53):
you lost your dad a few years ago, if sometimes
there's a trigger there on that holiday where you may
need some time because it's a reminder of like, oh, yeah,
I have these kids and I want to be there
for them like you've got your own.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
But then at the same.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Time, you may need some space to process that your
dad's no longer here.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
You're a spot on. I mean, I think there's this
real darkness that just kind of floats around like a butterfly,
you know, on those days and it's like it's pretty heavy,
you know. I mean yesterday Craig was preaching in our
church and they did a baby dedication and I was like,
this doesn't feel good right now. I'm about to get up,
(20:30):
but then I feel ugly. I feel gross because you're like, no,
I want to celebrate this child. This is a beautiful thing.
God made a kid. This kid is awesome. The kid
started screaming it was great. And it was the guitar
player's kid and he was like ah, and it was cute.
But like you just said, there's these little dark thing
(20:53):
you know that just pop by, and they really affected me.
I mean, I'm an emotional fun being around a lot
of people with a lot of different feelings that I
absorb it all and sometimes it can get overwhelming. I
don't know this especially holiday. You know. I am a parent,
I have parents. There's some dysfunction there. I have siblings,
(21:17):
I have kids, lost kids. I've got dogs. We've lost dogs,
you know, and it's just like you just gotta get pained.
Back and forth with good and then dark and then
good and in that life that's every day. But yeah, holidays,
holidays are weird. I think you and I have discussed it.
I just don't want to be still. Church is tough,
(21:40):
Like it's hard for me just to stick freaking still
and just be like just still, like, just pay attention,
keep your thoughts. You go, you stick of the.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Thing, worship, stand up, sit down, stand up, pray.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Focus.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Sometimes in church I'm just like raw.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I feel like I'm wearing a Himan like straight jacket
sometimes and it just works on me.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Have you ever tried meditation?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
No?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Do you do this every day?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
I started at least over a year ago. I feel
like maybe it was last January. I did a meditation
challenge of sorts with my sister and you know, signed
up for it and everything, and did it every day
for thirty days and it got easier. I mean, my
mind is all over the place. I feel like I'm
thinking about so many different things at one given moments,
(22:29):
like pin pink people. Yeah, but one of the things
that I learned that was helpful during the challenge was
that even experts that have meditated for years and years
and years and can sit and meditate for an hour
and meanwhile I was trying to do five to ten minutes.
But even they admit, yeah, of course there's times that
their mind wanders, right, but they just stay where they
(22:52):
are and they acknowledged the thought. They acknowledge it that
way it's there, and then they release it. And so
whereas when I was having other I just instantly would
think to myself, well, I'm a failure.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I suck at this. I'm never gonna be good. Why
am I even trying? This is stupid?
Speaker 3 (23:06):
But then once I was able to adopt, like, oh,
even the the experts at this like acknowledge the thought,
release it. And I may have to do that a lot,
acknowledge the thought and release it. But I feel like
for you, just in maybe practicing some stillness of sorts,
which meditation, you can pray while you're doing it, but like, yeah,
you're like go go, go, go go, Like I don't
(23:27):
know when you take time to just be still.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Look, I didn't know these things. I'm no psychiatrists. But
songwriting what a GAF. That is like such a practical
tool beyond just an occupation. It is just a place
where I can take all the emotions and just put
them together and then kind of reread them and go, yes,
(23:53):
that I'm done. That's my release of the thought. That's
a sense of meditation for me. So I can see
why I'm so attracted to that craft. And then Lanny,
I mean Lanny and I we were best friends in
high school and I never talked like that through a girl.
I mean I had had girlfriend, Like, we didn't talk.
(24:13):
It's nice to have, you know, someone I could really
just say it all. I can be like, hey, well
you just I'm about to just explode here on need
advice on the correction. I know it's all wrong and
it's mean, but blah blah blah blah blah. You know,
and I'm very I'm very grateful for that that safe spot.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
If you could go say something to your eighteen year
old self, like you only have three words, actually, what
three words would you choose to say to eighteen year
old walker? What three words would you choose to say
(24:55):
to eighteen year old Walker?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I would say, run to Jesus. I would literally be like,
please meet Jesus now, just please accept his love, just surrender,
be still and just quit looking. He's right there. That's it.
That's all I would say.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
I love that answer. I haven't gotten that one yet.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I'm forty four. I accepted Jesus, you know, into my
life three years ago. There are times in my life
when I would have loved just to have known him,
because I know that the talents would have been a
lot easier. But that's my one regret from my time
here on or as I wish I would have just
(25:38):
shut up and just gone to Jesus.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Well, you mentioned earlier, and I think this is just
interesting for parents to pay attention to.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
What our kids are up to.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
It was at church that you first were introduced to alcohol, right, Yeah,
it was.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
And you know, honestly, I had some church stuff that
didn't say run at esl you know, and hey, look
that's a real thing. I would never slam the act
of a community of believers, but man, we had some
wax stuff going on at the church I went to.
Underage drinking was kind of of some sort of just
disease in the town I grew up in. You know,
(26:17):
it was really easy to get on the last of
nine kids, so I had a lot of options on
you know, how to get illegal substances and whatnot. And yeah,
I mean a church group after a choir practice. That's
when I first got drunk. You know, at our church
there were some predatory kind of like youth pastors things,
(26:42):
you know, just said as a young kid who you're
still like formative, you're developing, and so trusting believers was
a tough thing for me well into my adulthood because
I saw a lot of sad things happen in church.
Which is crazy though, because I look take church out
of that equation. The things I saw were sad. It
(27:03):
doesn't matter that it was a Christ propressing organization. Underage
drinking was sad at a scientology church, you know what
I mean. It just none of the things I saw
were good. But you know, when you're a kid and
you trust somewhere and it breaks your trust, you know
that'll damage you for a while. Take you a minute
(27:24):
to grow up and go, Okay, that wasn't Christ, that
was people.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Yeah, you're definitely not alone in that. I think what's
hard to process sometimes is it supposed to be a
safe space right for us, and then it ends up
not being. And I feel like sometimes I just can
be like, oh, I don't really need to think much
about this. My kids are here, they're at this quote
safe place, but just making sure we do our due
diligence about our kids are up to who they're around.
(27:53):
Although back when you and I were growing up, there
wasn't life three sixty and so now I feel like
I can know everything.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
My kid's rough. I mean, look, this is probably not
a popular opinion, but like as I look at a
church and I definitely feel that, like, you know, I
don't want my kid being with this guy that you know.
I'm also like, okay, let's be real. I love my kid,
and I swear I dare anybody to try to love
my kid as much as I love my kid. But
(28:21):
if I wrote a crappy song and somebody cut me
off and I'm feeling insecure and I'm missing my dad
and my daughter kicks the coffee cup out of my
hand and it crashes on the ground, the look that
I give my daughter Sadly, I do not like this
about myself, but the look is just as mean as
(28:44):
anything that can happen to my daughter out there. And
you know what's sad is that look that I give
my daughter because she broke the mug in my hand
on a bad day. That's what she's going to be
in therapy about, not because some Sunday school teacher was
a hole or because some friend hooked up with her boyfriend.
(29:05):
One day, she'll remember the dad gave her when she
needed her dad to look at her with love, an
unconditional just acceptance and pride. But I just was so
mad about that coffee cup, you know, so I guess
that example I just said, it reminds me that we
(29:28):
all need mercy. And really, if we probably focused on
how we treat our kids than just telling our kids
like stay away from this or do this, we would
probably help our kids in the long run and not
basically make little clones of us that are always looking
around going that dude's scary, this place is scary.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
He's a hypocrite.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
But mercy is the key word there.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
That does make sense a lot of you know, we
can look outward for what's gonna mess with our kids,
but we also need to look inward totally and realize
the tiny ways, like you're right, the tiniest things that
could be the kicker. It's like, oh gosh, yeah, they
just need to feel love for me in this moment. Which,
of course, you know, we're not perfect in any way,
shape or form. How involved were your kids with your
(30:20):
new clothing line, Like, did they have a lot of
say and input in the design of that?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
With JC Penny?
Speaker 1 (30:27):
They did, And I really leaned on them because I
wanted it to be real. Any company can be like, hey,
here's a jillion dollars, will you just sell it by
just post and where the you know? But J C Penny,
like they really cared. Honestly.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
The first meeting we had with I felt this pressure
to be like, yeah, I'm so into fashion, like I
love clothes.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
I really care about me, you know, But I honestly
I prayed about it and I talked to Lamey about it,
and on the first meeting, I was like, look, God,
I didn't like the ghost shopping, Like I hated when
my mom was like we got to go trial and flow,
Like that was the worst day of the year when
me and my brothers had to go trial and clothes.
(31:12):
I don't ever shop for clothes. Lenny is just like, hey,
I got you to start wear it on Sunday. I'm
not into fashion, And I was so grateful that they
were like, well that's what we want, like, we want
your input, we want you to actually like these items,
because you're a dad, you're a husband and your dad,
(31:33):
and that's what we see first and foremost. So I
was really grateful that, you know, I didn't have to
pretend to be like one of my favorite things is style.
You know, I didn't really have to like do that.
I could just come home and be like, hey, check
it out, guys. You know, here's an item I like.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
It seems comfe probably multifunctional.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
What do y'all think? And my kids really did help me,
you know, they'd say that look was cool, or no,
you look like a dork. Jason Penny noticed that I
always wear this jacket and they were like, we love
that denim jacket that you wear. And I was like, yeah,
I stole that from my dad. All my brothers wanted it,
and I came home to college and I remember I
(32:13):
just took it out of his closet one time and
I wear it all the time. And they were like,
is it cool if we just recreate, Like we just
do a new version of that. So I sent them
pictures and they basically remade it and it's got like
Dug Buck buttons and it's so special. Yeah, it means
a lot to me. I'm like, dude, some dad's going
(32:33):
to buy that. One of his kids is gonna have
it one day. You know that's that's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Well, any wives or kids listening to this, they could
buy it for their dad.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
For Father's Day.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Father's Day.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
I don't know if you know that that's coming up,
but I know holidays I've learned now are not your thing.
But that's June sixteenth, So go ahead and plan that
on your calendar. Walker to you ready to work through
how you're going to be Father's Day, Like maybe act
as if, like run through some scenarios. Yeah, I don't
know if you've ever done acting as if, but you
can kind of run through in your mind, like how
you want to show up that day and rehearse it,
(33:06):
sort of like Michael Jordan getting ready for a game,
Like he rehearses in his mind flow throwing what do
they call it?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Shooting the basketball?
Speaker 3 (33:15):
So you know, you can visualize it and then maybe
come June sixteenth you'll have.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
A good Father's Day. But I feel like, yeah, you're lying.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Could be a great place for people to go of,
Like I they're curious, like what do I get my
dad for Father's Day. I've seen the collection, like Lunchbox
and Eddie were wearing it at a country fest, and
of course I saw you there in Austin for iHeart
Country Festival, and thess look good and.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
They were comfortable.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
And I like that you were able to show up
to that meeting and just be honest and be you
because obviously your partnership with Athletic Brewing Company that makes sense.
Like people see you with that and they're like, oh,
Walker making a non alcoholic beer and it's called fancy,
Like that makes sense because he's been sober now eight years.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
If they see you doing fashion, they might be like,
what Walker are doing?
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Like that's but you sharing that it makes sense and
then people kind of trust the process and who you
show up as as an artist and as someone that
is now out there and getting all of these amazing opportunities.
Is that they can really trust that it's authentic to me.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Clothes to be a very easy decision. You know, we're
all just trying to do life the best we can,
and for me, fashion is like I want to feel
good and I want to feel comfortable. I don't really
want to sit around and have to like choose an outfit,
you know what I mean, Like I got other stuff,
Like I have a lot of kids that need a
(34:37):
lot of attention in their own little way. I really
want to spend time with Lanning. I have a lot
of work every day, and the to me, these items,
they're so easy to just pull out the closet and
put on and feel good and you're like, Bam, I
can do anything. I cut the yard, I get on
stage if I want. They're just really functional and I'm
(34:59):
so proud out of them, and Jason Penny is amazing organization.
They're just great people in general. So yeah, everybody have
fun with those. I'm pomped.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Let's wrap things up with four things gratitude if you
have four things that you are thankful for today.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
At this moment, I'm especially grateful for Laney.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
I mean, I already told you I oscrewed up Mother's Day,
But the next day, next to my coffee cup, she
wrote a letter and it kind of made me teary
eyed because she wrote good morning sunshine on it, and
I am not sunshine, Like that is the thing that
I'm not. But the fact that she called me sunshine.
You know, God has given her like the weirdest taste
(35:41):
in men, and I'm so glad that she likes me.
And so I'm really grateful for Laney and our patients.
I'm so grateful for God has put me on a
team that, honestly, I can't describe. My team is family.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
There's no like work boundary.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
My manager Rob and I. I learned more from him
about kids and fatherhood and just life every afternoon just
talking to him on his way home. And I don't
know why I've been blessed with some of the relationships
that I get to just get to work with. So
I'm really grateful for my team, with my band and
(36:19):
all those people. I'm obviously grateful for my kid. It's funny.
I think when you have kids, you kind of have
them for yourself, probably maybe for the wrong reasons. You know,
You're like, I'm a Christmas tree and I want little
pretty ornaments that look like kids do awesome things, and
then they end up just humbling and blessing you in
(36:39):
so many ways on a daily basis that you can't imagine.
And then gosh, man, I'm gonna say I'm grateful for
really a lot of the.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
Worst times in Landy and I's marriage and just.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Our life in general, because I feel like they've given
us a lens to look at life with a sense
of kind of a really good recognization of how brief
it really is and how it's not all there is.
I would just stay ungrateful for any hard thing that
(37:15):
we survive.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Well, Walker, thanks for coming on. We'll have to keep
this theme from you being on around twenty nineteen and
then twenty twenty two and now twenty twenty four, so
I think we'll probably be due for another podcasted down
in twenty twenty six or so.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Let's do that. Hey, I'm proud of you. You're you doing.
It's so good. I'll follow you on the gram and
your kids look beautiful and we're just kicking. But keep
it up. So your sister has so what's up?
Speaker 2 (37:40):
I will you know you're still such a gift to
our family. You always will be backyard.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
Any new listeners, I'll link walker song that he wrote
for my mom called Joy Like Judy, and then my
mom got to make the music video with the Bobby
Bone Show and Walker and his whole family before she
passed away. It was it really was this gift you
were giving up that you literally had no idea because
we didn't even know she was going to die that year.
But since I became a mom, I mean, my kids
(38:07):
adopting them older, they never they never got to officially
meet my mom. My mom face timed them from hospice care.
So my mom's literally on her deathbed face timing with
the kids while they're at the orphanage in Haiti. So
we have a picture of that, but my kids don't
really remember it. So it's cool that I'm like, well,
guess what, your grandma has a music video, and then
(38:31):
you know, I get to show them that, and then
my sister's kids like, it's just something that we will
always have on YouTube for as long as that's around,
I guess.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
And that's a gift that you gave us.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
And being a part of Pimp and Joy and spreading
joy to us and our family and so many others
as you do. And you still are the voice of
my theme song here at the podcast too, which some
people don't realize that how old are that twenty eighteen?
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Amy? How many podcasts have you done? Is this a number?
Like do you still count?
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Yeah? This episode is number five hundred and sixty one.
I think, yeah, five hundred and sixty one.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Yeah, maybe once I hit six hundred, we can do
a refresher.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Okay, we don't want it to become dated. We could
even do the same song, just like you know, spice
it up. Just hit me up. We got that.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
I'll take you up on it, because, yeah, I think
the podcast has evolved over time. I'm not the same
person that I was back in twenty eighteen. I feel
like some of the stuff we talk about is even
a little bit different.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
So yeah, well that'll.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Be something fun that we can work out when you
have time between you know, your tour, your non alcoholic beer,
your deal with J C.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Penny. You're I mean, you're very busy. Your trick shots.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
We're almost done with those. Oh how many we have
fourteen left? We've almost done three hundred and sixty six.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
It's a leap heer that we have the three hundred six.
We're so ready to be done.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Okay, Well, make sure y'all can follow along to see
Walker's final trick shot, which will be soon on Instagram
at Walker Hayes and the Walkerhayes Dot com to find
everything else. Congrats on everything Walker, same drunk tour. I
just know it's going to be a special one, so congratulations.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
It'll be awesome.
Speaker 4 (40:19):
Tell your kid we said, hey, I will Bye.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Hy
Kay cast up thing little food for yourself life. Oh
it's pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful thing beautiful for
that for a little more, it's exciting, said, he can
your kick in with full Thing.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
With Amy Brown, Happy Thursday.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Four Things Amy Here, and my guest today is Walker Hayes.
He's a singer, songwriter, philanthropist, father, husband, so many things
and Walker just has a lot going on right now.
It could be more pumped for the trajectory that his
career is on. This is his third time on the
podcast over the years, and today we are talking addiction,
(00:56):
sobriety transfer, addiction. When Walker for had alcohol he was
only thirteen years old. We talk parenting, like how does
he handle conversations about alcohol and other things with his kids.
We talk gratitude. We talk about what three words Walker
would tell his eighteen year old self and the three
(01:16):
words that he chose are so good. Which that's a
fun question to ask yourself and even your friends and family.
It goes like this, you get to tell your eighteen
year old self three words, just three words?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
What are they?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I would love to hear what your three words are?
You can share them with me. Four Things with Amy
Brown at gmail dot com or Paul and tell me
about them eight seven seven two o seven two oh
seven seven just call tell me the three words say
what up again? Walker's three words are so good. Here's
our chat. Hope you enjoy.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Walker.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
You've been sober eight years. Yeah, that's huge, so congratulations.
We all have our vices, and then there's transfer addiction.
Because for you, when you stopped drinking, your new quote
unquote drunk became going to the gym for four hours.
For others, they're drunk might be shopping, working, food, their
(02:18):
social media, gambling. Hence the idea behind your song and
the name of your tour same drunk. Yeah, girl, just
kind of the same drunk For you, when did you
know you first had a problem.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, I mean I started drinking at thirteen, so I
mean when I was thirteen, I remember hanging out with
some people at church and I was a sty super
awkward kid. I always wanted to be like my older
brothers and they were so cool. They were funny, and
they were athletic and very just like charismatic. But I
remember being with some friends at a church playground and
(02:56):
some older girls and they had some zemas and I
remember I hammered two zemas with like some jolly ranchers
in them, and I literally went from like I'm scared
the death of this certain girl to like, what's up?
How are you tonight? You know, and I just remember
being like, holy smokes, this is magic stuff, you know,
(03:21):
and so fast forward. I mean, shoot, I'm sure, I'm sure. Lane,
and I, you know, probably wasn't sober when we started
hanging out. When I started doing music, it was definitely
like have.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
A few beers before every show.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But the moment I stopped, I was thirty six and
I was working at Costco and I basically passed out
on the couch for a night straight. I mean my wife, Lanie,
she had basically pulled a drink out of my hand
before I fell asleep and spilled it for a year straight,
and on accident. I remember one night I said, yeah,
(03:58):
I know I have a problem. And I kind of
said that in an effort to like just have to
stop talking about it that night, you know, but I
was like, ah, you maybe I really do, you know,
have a problem. But when I woke up one Saturday,
it was in October, I don't really know, like the
day I stopped drinking. I just know it was in October.
(04:20):
I just knew I was gonna die. My body was
so tired that I just knew if I did it
one more day, I might die. I honestly can't really
explain it, but I didn't drink that day, and then
I didn't drink the next that was a Saturday, and
then you know, one day turn into two, and then
to turn into a week. You know, a week turn
(04:41):
into a month, and then then I just dreaded going
backwards because sobriety. Man, if you don't know what sobriety is, like, man,
it's amazing, Like it's it's like a drug in itself.
You're just like, oh healthy, felt amazing and it was scary.
But just mentally waking up without a hangover was like, whoa,
(05:02):
this is insane. It was like one hundred percent oxygen,
you know, coming to your brain for the first time. So, yeah,
I'll be nine years sober this October. You know, Lady
and I it was. It was one of our biggest
fights that we had. This sounds like like something we
should have known, but we merely learned that drinking is
(05:23):
just really a symptom of what's really the matter, you know,
with me, and that goes for everybody.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
You know, Drinking is just like it's a form of medication.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
You know. I think a lot of us use and
then as is all my coping mechanisms.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
We've all got some wounds. Drinking is not the wound.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
It's just what you're trying to pour on it to
make it feel better. So that was, you know, that
was tough for our marriage because it.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Was like, Ah, you don't drink anymore, it's gonna be amazing.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And then it was like, oh, it's not.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
It was like you're still you and you're still new.
Where's a lot.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
So that's been a good that's been a good learning experiment.
And honestly, I mean that's what that's what that song
sing Drunk is about. I mean, I just have a
gift that like, whatever I do, I just turn it
into this like band aid or crutch or place in
life that I think I can control that will make
(06:21):
me feel better. You know, you you touched on the gym.
I mean, I'm embarrassed to say. Is like I got
sober and I was like, all right, I'm gonna be
Dwayne Johnson. I was like I'm gonna be so jacked.
And I was like why, you know, like what but
it was just like drinking, you know, it was like
an escape, but it was less taboo, you know, like
you were talking about you know, some some addictions are
(06:45):
are less frowned upon. You might even consider them healthy. Like, oh,
I'm so proud of him, Like he's really taking some
me time. He's getting fit. That's sober, you know, and
and the world can lightie you know, a little bit
and make and maybe just a little bit to think
you just pour your life into green juice, that's a
better way to live.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Transfer addiction is a very common thing. I mean you
take one addictive type behavior, one compulsive behavior, and you
transfer it over to another thing. And when you're working
through sobriety, sometimes it'll show up in forms of sugar
and then now you're addicted to sugar, and it's just
it's like a process that you work through. For you
you were now working out at the gym for four hours.
(07:28):
And I feel like because the lyrics are a lot
of times, I mean this is a serious matter. I mean,
same drunk, and then you've named the tour that same drunk.
So I feel like there could be some irony of
people coming to a show and like really listening to things,
and then I feel like maybe even looking down and
having this moment of like they're holding a beer, they're drinking,
(07:48):
they're having a good time, They're like, wait a second, Yeah,
I mean the opening lyrics of same drunkers well sisters
hooked on another jackass, Mama's hooked on looking young, daddy's
hooked on cutting the grass, brothers hooked on smoking some
is like we all can have our things that we're
using to mask.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
What the real issue is.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
And so what you're saying is the last eight years
you've been having to address and figure out what that
is and work through it.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, and I'm in I don't know if whatever gets
to the bottom of it, Like, I don't know if
there's any answer. I just find a lot of peace
and just going Okay, that's what we do. Like Lenny
and I we're gonna be married twenty years and I
have yet to wake up and love her not selflessly.
(08:37):
That saddens me, but it also kind of frees me
to go, oh, that's kind of what's wrong with humanity.
That's people's downfall, you know, and it's good to analyze
those motives and go, I'm sorry, Lenny, I want to
love you, not for myself, for just you, because you desert.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
I love you and I don't want anything in return.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I'm not doing the dishes tonight. So you'll make out
with me later. I think if you step back and
look at life, it's just nice to go, oh, we
were kind of like, that's kind of what we do.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
You know, that's that's what's wrong with us.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And so yeah, to me, that's my that's my therapy,
being like, oh man, it's so free to learn about
humans and our tendencies and our downfalls and things like
that that have been going on for a gazillion years.
But you're right, you know, sometimes like I always sing
an AA or saying drug and I'll see I'll see
somebody in the crowd and I'll be like.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
I'm not judging, I'm just saying what it is.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Like if you're drink it out there, let's go. It's
all good, you know. But that is an interesting moment
that happened at my ship.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Well, I think for you, there's probably been a lot
of therapeutic moments in your songwriting obviously, and for those
of us to get to enjoy what amazing songwriters like
you put out there. I mean, there's so much healing
for us, like when we're listening to it, and there
I bet through your vulnerability through your music, there are
(10:05):
those aha moments of people and they don't they don't
feel judged by you. They just feel like, oh, maybe
there's this this connection They feel like, I can't imagine
that you haven't heard stories. I don't know, maybe from
beer and a fridge. Has anybody reached out to you
about after listening to that song and being like whoaha,
whoa that hit a little too close to home and
it woke me up a little bit.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, I mean, what a gift from God. You know,
as a parent, you're gonna I mean, I'm gonna get
emotional when I started telling them this could I'm in
the thick of it with my kids, just on a
few things that they're struggling with. And this isn't like
woe is me, but like I was taught, I was
a lonely kid, you know, and lonely is dark. One
(10:48):
of my least favorite places could be is in the
house with Laney, but very hateful and resentful is when
you're lonely next to someone, that's the worst. I mean,
oh my god, like nothing is as painful as loneliness.
And so you know, maybe that's why I am so
vomited with my things, as almost as if to say, hey,
(11:11):
I gotta tell you I struggle with this. Oh my god,
it's just carry me up inside because I'm lonely with it.
And I just just want you to know how I
struggle with this, and that that has been such a
relief to communicate with her, to communicate with my kids
and go, hey, you know you put that on this pedestal.
Let me tell you, son, I have trouble with what
(11:32):
I look at on social I have trouble with what
I look at in the gym. I have trouble with
where my eyes go. I need to share this with
you because I don't want to be alone with this
this stuff, cause it's really tearing me up. I had
coffee with the guy today that this dude he read
glad you're here, and the loss of a kid kind
(11:54):
of destroyed his marriage. But he, honestly, I think he
just want a friend, Like I don't think cares whether
I'm famous or not. He just got a glimpse of
some stuff you know that's happened to me and was
just like, maybe Stud would have coffee with me.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
I need him as much as he needs me. It's
definitely scary.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Sometimes to be like, hey, I'm kind of an a
hole and I kind of am not good at this
and I kind of struggle with this, but I've never
regretted just admitting it and the blessings that come out
of other people, you know, sharing with me, and that
(12:34):
unification that we share and just and we need help.
I need camaraderie. I don't want to be by myself
with this. It's not the easiest thing, you know, to
be like, hey everyone, I am weak as a dude.
That's not like the funnest, most inviting place you know
to be, but it's it's really what keeps my wife
(12:55):
and I just kind of feeling like the Lord has
us doing what we're doing.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
For for a kind of a reason. If that makes
an instrument.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Yeah, everything you've been through, it's like, well you can
filter it through. What has this made possible for your family?
And you're one on one connections with people that you
don't even know they live halfway around the world who knows,
but there's that connection through the gifts and talents that
you've been given and because you're willing to be vulnerable
(13:25):
and amid things that other men might be like what.
I would never tell anybody that, but they see you
doing it, and then it's a domino effect.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah, it's been magical, but it's also came from a
lot of brokenness. But it's just everybody. Every single person's
fighting some battle you don't know about. And so yeah,
Lenny and I really felt always felt compelled to just
fit it all out there and quit acting like everything's
just hockey dory over here.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
How do you talk to your kids about alcohol? How
do you talk to your kids about alcohol?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
They're probably damaged because I won't shut up about it.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Laney and I have never been like, oh innocent, let's
not telling them about this. I mean, Landy and I
were a crap show in high school and they know
it all. Lanny's dad found us in a basement, not
a lot of clothes on, threw me in the garage,
bud light cans everywhere, gave Lanny the don't get pregnant speech,
and then Lanny drove me off. I mean this was
two weeks after we started dating, So that was us
(14:34):
from the get go. And they know that. They know
every moment I'm not proud of. They know some massive
mistakes that Laney and I have both made in marriage,
all the alcohol stuff, all the consequences of any decision
I made intoxicated. They've seen mom and Dad fight. Laney
(14:55):
and I have never been like, hold on, kid, we're
going to go to the bathroom now and just get
like we just don't have the self control. And I
pray to God that that will just help them, you know,
more than it hurts them later in life, and that
they'll know when their marriage does get hard, or when
their jobs sucks, or when they're faced with a struggle.
(15:16):
I hope they will will just feel hopeful somehow. But
the truth of the matters, we're all going to screw
up our kids. I think that's just what can happen.
And so yeah, I think we all just need to
be prepared to like apologize as much as we can
and help them out with their therapy thing you know
(15:37):
that they need, or their medication or whatever, you know,
just just stand alongside of them and just and just
be like, I know, I know I'm super sorry.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Well, I just so for sure have those moments where
I don't know if you can relate to this, that
something happens and in that moment you have this thought
of like okay, yeah, that for sure just sent them
to therapy or like ten years from now, they're definitely
bringing this moment up totally.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Oh one thousand percent.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
I mean, I don't know how much many people can
relate to this, but like you know, Mother's Day just
went by, and I mean I royal, I swear amy.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
I have like a complex for some reason. On every holiday.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Father's Day, Mother's Day, Birthday, I feel like I'm in
a cage and I just like my knee won't stop bouncing,
and I make it about me like I don't understand
what happened. I just explode. And I know that all
my kids they're gonna be like, what's wrong with me?
On the holiday, and then they're gonna they're gonna retrace
(16:37):
and be like dad did this thing every holiday, you know,
and it's crazy, like I am joyful. Joy is so
easy for me to find, except on a holiday. I
don't understand what the and it infuriates me because I
feel like I can master certain things. But yeah, my kid,
(17:00):
they're gonna they're damnaged like that. They're gonna always be like, God,
well Mother's Day go away. Dad ruined it all the time.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
And wait, I feel like, well, grat we need an
example of how you ruin holidays and how if you
know that this is a pattern, like, why are we
not working towards fixing it?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
I know, I'm glad that you you said that and
didn't just let me continue because it is a it
is a.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Me problem, and I don't know the psychology.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Maybe it's my relationship with my mom, you know, maybe
maybe the mother's Day thing. Maybe it triggers some things
where you're like, I don't like that. This doesn't feel good.
And then rather than like, explain that problem or address
that problem or process it in a healthy way. Most
(17:49):
people that love me a lot, they get the shrapnel,
and I probably don't like me much. And when I
don't like me much, I don't like anybody that's dear me. Like,
if I can reach you, look the freak out because
I'm not gonna have a nice look. I'm not gonna
have a nice thing to say. And I don't like
this about me but yeah, I feel like that's kind
(18:10):
of what happens. Lady is like, oh my god, I
mean you talk about mom. I mean she's insane. And
what's crazy is I'm like, I'm like another kid, Like,
I mean she does so ray, she's amazing. But then
there's also this weird pressure on holidays. Does the mother
(18:30):
feel like this? I feel like this on Father's Day,
I feel like I have to perform accordingly to everyone's
action towards me, which by the end of that day,
I'm like, oh my god, I'm losing my mind. I
don't know. Holidays are complicated.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Aby, yeah, well, and I think that they're unique to
each person. Like you just said, maybe there's something with
your mom that comes up for you on Mother's Day,
Like I don't know what it is with the other holidays,
but I think it's communicy is important, Like if you
communicate to your loved ones, this is what would be
nice for me on this day, if you're wanting to
(19:07):
celebrate me, and you really figure out what that looks like,
because I feel like some moms they just want to
be with their kids for Mother's Day and that's all
they look forward to and they can't wait. And then
I have another friend where she popped by on Mother's Day.
She wanted to like lay out at my pool. I
was doing other things. I was like, sure, goal layout,
and she walked in and I thought she was bringing
her son.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
She's a single mom. I was like, oh, you're bringing
your son to swim too, and she goes, oh, no,
I don't do kids on Mother's Day. And she walked
in by herself.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
And so I feel like you can fit either into
the spectrum or maybe something in the middle, but you
have to. Like she's communicated and her parents live in town,
so they take She's like, hey, mom, dad, you take
my son. I'm going to go get some alone time
for Mother's Day. That's what I would like for you.
And I I mean, even with your dad, I think
of Father's Day coming up. I don't know, ever since
(19:53):
you lost your dad a few years ago, if sometimes
there's a trigger there on that holiday where you may
need some time because it's a reminder of like, oh, yeah,
I have these kids and I want to be there
for them like you've got your own.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
But then at the same.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Time, you may need some space to process that your
dad's no longer here.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
You're a spot on. I mean, I think there's this
real darkness that just kind of floats around like a butterfly,
you know, on those days and it's like it's pretty heavy,
you know. I mean yesterday Craig was preaching in our
church and they did a baby dedication and I was like,
this doesn't feel good right now. I'm about to get up,
(20:30):
but then I feel ugly. I feel gross because you're like, no,
I want to celebrate this child. This is a beautiful thing.
God made a kid. This kid is awesome. The kid
started screaming it was great. And it was the guitar
player's kid and he was like ah, and it was cute.
But like you just said, there's these little dark thing
(20:53):
you know that just pop by, and they really affected me.
I mean, I'm an emotional fun being around a lot
of people with a lot of different feelings that I
absorb it all and sometimes it can get overwhelming. I
don't know this especially holiday. You know. I am a parent,
I have parents. There's some dysfunction there. I have siblings,
(21:17):
I have kids, lost kids. I've got dogs. We've lost dogs,
you know, and it's just like you just gotta get pained.
Back and forth with good and then dark and then
good and in that life that's every day. But yeah, holidays,
holidays are weird. I think you and I have discussed it.
I just don't want to be still. Church is tough,
(21:40):
Like it's hard for me just to stick freaking still
and just be like just still, like, just pay attention,
keep your thoughts. You go, you stick of the.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Thing, worship, stand up, sit down, stand up, pray.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Focus.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Sometimes in church I'm just like raw.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I feel like I'm wearing a Himan like straight jacket
sometimes and it just works on me.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Have you ever tried meditation?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
No?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Do you do this every day?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
I started at least over a year ago. I feel
like maybe it was last January. I did a meditation
challenge of sorts with my sister and you know, signed
up for it and everything, and did it every day
for thirty days and it got easier. I mean, my
mind is all over the place. I feel like I'm
thinking about so many different things at one given moments,
(22:29):
like pin pink people. Yeah, but one of the things
that I learned that was helpful during the challenge was
that even experts that have meditated for years and years
and years and can sit and meditate for an hour
and meanwhile I was trying to do five to ten minutes.
But even they admit, yeah, of course there's times that
their mind wanders, right, but they just stay where they
(22:52):
are and they acknowledged the thought. They acknowledge it that
way it's there, and then they release it. And so
whereas when I was having other I just instantly would
think to myself, well, I'm a failure.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I suck at this. I'm never gonna be good. Why
am I even trying? This is stupid?
Speaker 3 (23:06):
But then once I was able to adopt, like, oh,
even the the experts at this like acknowledge the thought,
release it. And I may have to do that a lot,
acknowledge the thought and release it. But I feel like
for you, just in maybe practicing some stillness of sorts,
which meditation, you can pray while you're doing it, but like, yeah,
you're like go go, go, go go, Like I don't
(23:27):
know when you take time to just be still.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Look, I didn't know these things. I'm no psychiatrists. But
songwriting what a GAF. That is like such a practical
tool beyond just an occupation. It is just a place
where I can take all the emotions and just put
them together and then kind of reread them and go, yes,
(23:53):
that I'm done. That's my release of the thought. That's
a sense of meditation for me. So I can see
why I'm so attracted to that craft. And then Lanny,
I mean Lanny and I we were best friends in
high school and I never talked like that through a girl.
I mean I had had girlfriend, Like, we didn't talk.
(24:13):
It's nice to have, you know, someone I could really
just say it all. I can be like, hey, well
you just I'm about to just explode here on need
advice on the correction. I know it's all wrong and
it's mean, but blah blah blah blah blah. You know,
and I'm very I'm very grateful for that that safe spot.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
If you could go say something to your eighteen year
old self, like you only have three words, actually, what
three words would you choose to say to eighteen year
old walker? What three words would you choose to say
(24:55):
to eighteen year old Walker?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I would say, run to Jesus. I would literally be like,
please meet Jesus now, just please accept his love, just surrender,
be still and just quit looking. He's right there. That's it.
That's all I would say.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
I love that answer. I haven't gotten that one yet.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I'm forty four. I accepted Jesus, you know, into my
life three years ago. There are times in my life
when I would have loved just to have known him,
because I know that the talents would have been a
lot easier. But that's my one regret from my time
here on or as I wish I would have just
(25:38):
shut up and just gone to Jesus.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Well, you mentioned earlier, and I think this is just
interesting for parents to pay attention to.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
What our kids are up to.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
It was at church that you first were introduced to alcohol, right, Yeah,
it was.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
And you know, honestly, I had some church stuff that
didn't say run at esl you know, and hey, look
that's a real thing. I would never slam the act
of a community of believers, but man, we had some
wax stuff going on at the church I went to.
Underage drinking was kind of of some sort of just
disease in the town I grew up in. You know,
(26:17):
it was really easy to get on the last of
nine kids, so I had a lot of options on
you know, how to get illegal substances and whatnot. And yeah,
I mean a church group after a choir practice. That's
when I first got drunk. You know, at our church
there were some predatory kind of like youth pastors things,
(26:42):
you know, just said as a young kid who you're
still like formative, you're developing, and so trusting believers was
a tough thing for me well into my adulthood because
I saw a lot of sad things happen in church.
Which is crazy though, because I look take church out
of that equation. The things I saw were sad. It
(27:03):
doesn't matter that it was a Christ propressing organization. Underage
drinking was sad at a scientology church, you know what
I mean. It just none of the things I saw
were good. But you know, when you're a kid and
you trust somewhere and it breaks your trust, you know
that'll damage you for a while. Take you a minute
(27:24):
to grow up and go, Okay, that wasn't Christ, that
was people.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Yeah, you're definitely not alone in that. I think what's
hard to process sometimes is it supposed to be a
safe space right for us, and then it ends up
not being. And I feel like sometimes I just can
be like, oh, I don't really need to think much
about this. My kids are here, they're at this quote
safe place, but just making sure we do our due
diligence about our kids are up to who they're around.
(27:53):
Although back when you and I were growing up, there
wasn't life three sixty and so now I feel like
I can know everything.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
My kid's rough. I mean, look, this is probably not
a popular opinion, but like as I look at a
church and I definitely feel that, like, you know, I
don't want my kid being with this guy that you know.
I'm also like, okay, let's be real. I love my kid,
and I swear I dare anybody to try to love
my kid as much as I love my kid. But
(28:21):
if I wrote a crappy song and somebody cut me
off and I'm feeling insecure and I'm missing my dad
and my daughter kicks the coffee cup out of my
hand and it crashes on the ground, the look that
I give my daughter Sadly, I do not like this
about myself, but the look is just as mean as
(28:44):
anything that can happen to my daughter out there. And
you know what's sad is that look that I give
my daughter because she broke the mug in my hand
on a bad day. That's what she's going to be
in therapy about, not because some Sunday school teacher was
a hole or because some friend hooked up with her boyfriend.
(29:05):
One day, she'll remember the dad gave her when she
needed her dad to look at her with love, an
unconditional just acceptance and pride. But I just was so
mad about that coffee cup, you know, so I guess
that example I just said, it reminds me that we
(29:28):
all need mercy. And really, if we probably focused on
how we treat our kids than just telling our kids
like stay away from this or do this, we would
probably help our kids in the long run and not
basically make little clones of us that are always looking
around going that dude's scary, this place is scary.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
He's a hypocrite.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
But mercy is the key word there.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
That does make sense a lot of you know, we
can look outward for what's gonna mess with our kids,
but we also need to look inward totally and realize
the tiny ways, like you're right, the tiniest things that
could be the kicker. It's like, oh gosh, yeah, they
just need to feel love for me in this moment. Which,
of course, you know, we're not perfect in any way,
shape or form. How involved were your kids with your
(30:20):
new clothing line, Like, did they have a lot of
say and input in the design of that?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
With JC Penny?
Speaker 1 (30:27):
They did, And I really leaned on them because I
wanted it to be real. Any company can be like, hey,
here's a jillion dollars, will you just sell it by
just post and where the you know? But J C Penny,
like they really cared. Honestly.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
The first meeting we had with I felt this pressure
to be like, yeah, I'm so into fashion, like I
love clothes.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
I really care about me, you know, But I honestly
I prayed about it and I talked to Lamey about it,
and on the first meeting, I was like, look, God,
I didn't like the ghost shopping, Like I hated when
my mom was like we got to go trial and flow,
Like that was the worst day of the year when
me and my brothers had to go trial and clothes.
(31:12):
I don't ever shop for clothes. Lenny is just like, hey,
I got you to start wear it on Sunday. I'm
not into fashion, And I was so grateful that they
were like, well that's what we want, like, we want
your input, we want you to actually like these items,
because you're a dad, you're a husband and your dad,
(31:33):
and that's what we see first and foremost. So I
was really grateful that, you know, I didn't have to
pretend to be like one of my favorite things is style.
You know, I didn't really have to like do that.
I could just come home and be like, hey, check
it out, guys. You know, here's an item I like.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
It seems comfe probably multifunctional.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
What do y'all think? And my kids really did help me,
you know, they'd say that look was cool, or no,
you look like a dork. Jason Penny noticed that I
always wear this jacket and they were like, we love
that denim jacket that you wear. And I was like, yeah,
I stole that from my dad. All my brothers wanted it,
and I came home to college and I remember I
(32:13):
just took it out of his closet one time and
I wear it all the time. And they were like,
is it cool if we just recreate, Like we just
do a new version of that. So I sent them
pictures and they basically remade it and it's got like
Dug Buck buttons and it's so special. Yeah, it means
a lot to me. I'm like, dude, some dad's going
(32:33):
to buy that. One of his kids is gonna have
it one day. You know that's that's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Well, any wives or kids listening to this, they could
buy it for their dad.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
For Father's Day.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Father's Day.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
I don't know if you know that that's coming up,
but I know holidays I've learned now are not your thing.
But that's June sixteenth, So go ahead and plan that
on your calendar. Walker to you ready to work through
how you're going to be Father's Day, Like maybe act
as if, like run through some scenarios. Yeah, I don't
know if you've ever done acting as if, but you
can kind of run through in your mind, like how
you want to show up that day and rehearse it,
(33:06):
sort of like Michael Jordan getting ready for a game,
Like he rehearses in his mind flow throwing what do
they call it?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Shooting the basketball?
Speaker 3 (33:15):
So you know, you can visualize it and then maybe
come June sixteenth you'll have.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
A good Father's Day. But I feel like, yeah, you're lying.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Could be a great place for people to go of,
Like I they're curious, like what do I get my
dad for Father's Day. I've seen the collection, like Lunchbox
and Eddie were wearing it at a country fest, and
of course I saw you there in Austin for iHeart
Country Festival, and thess look good and.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
They were comfortable.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
And I like that you were able to show up
to that meeting and just be honest and be you
because obviously your partnership with Athletic Brewing Company that makes sense.
Like people see you with that and they're like, oh,
Walker making a non alcoholic beer and it's called fancy,
Like that makes sense because he's been sober now eight years.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
If they see you doing fashion, they might be like,
what Walker are doing?
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Like that's but you sharing that it makes sense and
then people kind of trust the process and who you
show up as as an artist and as someone that
is now out there and getting all of these amazing opportunities.
Is that they can really trust that it's authentic to me.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Clothes to be a very easy decision. You know, we're
all just trying to do life the best we can,
and for me, fashion is like I want to feel
good and I want to feel comfortable. I don't really
want to sit around and have to like choose an outfit,
you know what I mean, Like I got other stuff,
Like I have a lot of kids that need a
(34:37):
lot of attention in their own little way. I really
want to spend time with Lanning. I have a lot
of work every day, and the to me, these items,
they're so easy to just pull out the closet and
put on and feel good and you're like, Bam, I
can do anything. I cut the yard, I get on
stage if I want. They're just really functional and I'm
(34:59):
so proud out of them, and Jason Penny is amazing organization.
They're just great people in general. So yeah, everybody have
fun with those. I'm pomped.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Let's wrap things up with four things gratitude if you
have four things that you are thankful for today.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
At this moment, I'm especially grateful for Laney.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
I mean, I already told you I oscrewed up Mother's Day,
But the next day, next to my coffee cup, she
wrote a letter and it kind of made me teary
eyed because she wrote good morning sunshine on it, and
I am not sunshine, Like that is the thing that
I'm not. But the fact that she called me sunshine.
You know, God has given her like the weirdest taste
(35:41):
in men, and I'm so glad that she likes me.
And so I'm really grateful for Laney and our patients.
I'm so grateful for God has put me on a
team that, honestly, I can't describe. My team is family.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
There's no like work boundary.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
My manager Rob and I. I learned more from him
about kids and fatherhood and just life every afternoon just
talking to him on his way home. And I don't
know why I've been blessed with some of the relationships
that I get to just get to work with. So
I'm really grateful for my team, with my band and
(36:19):
all those people. I'm obviously grateful for my kid. It's funny.
I think when you have kids, you kind of have
them for yourself, probably maybe for the wrong reasons. You know,
You're like, I'm a Christmas tree and I want little
pretty ornaments that look like kids do awesome things, and
then they end up just humbling and blessing you in
(36:39):
so many ways on a daily basis that you can't imagine.
And then gosh, man, I'm gonna say I'm grateful for
really a lot of the.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
Worst times in Landy and I's marriage and just.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Our life in general, because I feel like they've given
us a lens to look at life with a sense
of kind of a really good recognization of how brief
it really is and how it's not all there is.
I would just stay ungrateful for any hard thing that
(37:15):
we survive.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Well, Walker, thanks for coming on. We'll have to keep
this theme from you being on around twenty nineteen and
then twenty twenty two and now twenty twenty four, so
I think we'll probably be due for another podcasted down
in twenty twenty six or so.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Let's do that. Hey, I'm proud of you. You're you doing.
It's so good. I'll follow you on the gram and
your kids look beautiful and we're just kicking. But keep
it up. So your sister has so what's up?
Speaker 2 (37:40):
I will you know you're still such a gift to
our family. You always will be backyard.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
Any new listeners, I'll link walker song that he wrote
for my mom called Joy Like Judy, and then my
mom got to make the music video with the Bobby
Bone Show and Walker and his whole family before she
passed away. It was it really was this gift you
were giving up that you literally had no idea because
we didn't even know she was going to die that year.
But since I became a mom, I mean, my kids
(38:07):
adopting them older, they never they never got to officially
meet my mom. My mom face timed them from hospice care.
So my mom's literally on her deathbed face timing with
the kids while they're at the orphanage in Haiti. So
we have a picture of that, but my kids don't
really remember it. So it's cool that I'm like, well,
guess what, your grandma has a music video, and then
(38:31):
you know, I get to show them that, and then
my sister's kids like, it's just something that we will
always have on YouTube for as long as that's around,
I guess.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
And that's a gift that you gave us.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
And being a part of Pimp and Joy and spreading
joy to us and our family and so many others
as you do. And you still are the voice of
my theme song here at the podcast too, which some
people don't realize that how old are that twenty eighteen?
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Amy? How many podcasts have you done? Is this a number?
Like do you still count?
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Yeah? This episode is number five hundred and sixty one.
I think, yeah, five hundred and sixty one.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Yeah, maybe once I hit six hundred, we can do
a refresher.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Okay, we don't want it to become dated. We could
even do the same song, just like you know, spice
it up. Just hit me up. We got that.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
I'll take you up on it, because, yeah, I think
the podcast has evolved over time. I'm not the same
person that I was back in twenty eighteen. I feel
like some of the stuff we talk about is even
a little bit different.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
So yeah, well that'll.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Be something fun that we can work out when you
have time between you know, your tour, your non alcoholic beer,
your deal with J C.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Penny. You're I mean, you're very busy. Your trick shots.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
We're almost done with those. Oh how many we have
fourteen left? We've almost done three hundred and sixty six.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
It's a leap heer that we have the three hundred six.
We're so ready to be done.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Okay, Well, make sure y'all can follow along to see
Walker's final trick shot, which will be soon on Instagram
at Walker Hayes and the Walkerhayes Dot com to find
everything else. Congrats on everything Walker, same drunk tour. I
just know it's going to be a special one, so congratulations.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
It'll be awesome.
Speaker 4 (40:19):
Tell your kid we said, hey, I will Bye.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Hy
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